# Need Advice: My Dog Bites Other Dogs Ears/Face/Collars and Playing Escalates



## Lucy (Jul 13, 2015)

Hi,

I know many of you have a lot of experience with dogs and I hope you can help me with this. I really appreciate your advice! The post is long (sorry!) but I am trying to include detailed information to give a better picture of the situation.

I got my dog molly from a shelter when she was 8 months old. She is now a year. I have been going to the dog park with her for a couple of months at this point. She is very high energy and this is the only way to make her tired. She also loves playing with other dogs and this is probably her favorite time of the day.

She has always been a rough player in the following sense: she didn't have a problem with being run over by other dogs and always got right up again, looking happy; she wasn't afraid to play with bigger dogs; she tackled other dogs and was tackled in return, always being spunky and happy.

However, recently, I have become worried about the way she plays with other dogs.

(1) A while ago, she discovered that she can get an advantage in playing by grabbing other dogs' ears and collars. At first she did it just a little bit and immediately let go and the other dogs did not seem to mind much. Recently, she also started doing the following: when chasing another dog, she will run right next to them and try to nip at their necks, ears, or collars. I thought it's maybe because she is part Corgi and corgis are herding dogs.

When she did this first, the other dogs always seemed to be fine and eager to play with her and Molly always had her friendly happy face and body expressions. However, recently, these habits got out of hand. She is now sometimes holding on to ears and collars and does not let go, even when the other dog is clearly uncomfortable with it. In fact, she now keeps holding on to ears even when the other dog is laying on the ground on its back. She also climbs on top of other dogs when they are on their back and tries to hold them down. When they struggle, she does not let them go but keeps holding them down and play-bites their ears or faces. As for the nipping while running, I hardly see her chase a dog anymore *without* doing that.

As for the other dogs she is playing with, often, the dogs still want to play with her and keep coming back to her, even after she does this thing where she holds them down when they are on their back. Other dogs are clearly intimidated and annoyed and don't want to play with her anymore.

(2) The things I mentioned above are still part of playing. At no point does she actually try to injure another dog or fight with another dog when she does the things I just described. It is very clear that she just wants to play.

However, a couple of days ago, something scary happened. Molly was just playing with one of her buddies at the park—they love to play with each other and usually get along super well. They were running around, tackling each other, play-nipping at each other—what they usually do. They seemed happy. Then somehow, within a couple of seconds, things heated up and they started nipping each other more aggressively and their lips started curling a little. But before we even registered what was going on, they started fighting. For real. They were going after each other. It wasn't like one of them was trying to get away; they had their mind set on fighting. We pretty quickly managed to separate them but both ended up with a cut on their face.

I had never seen Molly do that before and I hadn't seen the other dog do that, either. I was shaken up and hoped it was a one time incident. However, since then, I noticed that her play with other dogs (only dogs that are bigger than her) sometimes heats up to a point where both dogs start curling their lips a little—still playing but sort of a the brink to escalation. Since I am very watchful now, when I notice this, I immediately grab her and give her a time out to cool down. However, it scares me that it even gets to this point. This is a completely new thing. Until a couple of days ago, Molly had never done this.

I am not entirely sure what to make of this, both in terms of diagnosing what is going on with my dog and in terms of how to react. Both (1) and (2) could be indicators that Molly is trying to be more dominant than she used to be, trying to be boss or something. This fits in with another observation: when she first started playing with other dogs after I got her from the shelter, when she got a bit overwhelmed or noticed that she could not keep up with a bigger dog, she just rolled over on her back and stopped moving. I think this signaled to the other dogs: hey, I'm harmless, totally submissive, you don't need to come after me. But she has not done this in a while. It seems to me that, now, when she gets a bit overwhelmed with a bigger dog, she refuses to give in and be the submissive one. Instead, she keeps going and wants to stand her ground. But since she is smaller and cannot really keep up with the bigger dog, she then gets aggressive. Not sure that's what is really going on, just an idea.

I should note that Molly does not show any signs of aggression or dominance behavior at home. She has not changed at all with respect to me or other people she regularly interacts with. It's just her play with other dogs that has changed.

Apart from being confused about what is going on, I am also not sure how to react. What I do at this point is watching her very closely and grabbing her when she holds other dogs down or when her play with another dog gets heated up too much. I give her a time out to make her calm down. Then I distract her by doing a trick with her or throwing a toy for her. But I am not sure if that is really a solution to the problem. Are there measures I can take to get my dog to be more friendly in her play with other dogs (stopping the ear-grabbing etc.)? Is there a way I can stop her from playing too intensely, in order to avoid things heating up and escalating?

Thank you so much for your advice, I really really appreciate it!


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## Annageckos (Mar 21, 2015)

A few things, 1 she is maturing. 2 many dogs take a few months to completely settle in to their new home, her true personality could be showing. 3 she is a corgi mix, they are herders that use nipping to herd.

When does this behavior start? Is it right away or after you've been at the park for a while? She could be over stimulated. When Vegas has been to the dog park for too long he tries to hump other dogs, at that point it's time to leave because he's had enough and I don't want a fight to start. He tried this too when he is anxious or there is too much going on for him to deal with.
You don't want a real fight to start, trust me. I was just through this, Shorty being attacked. You also don't want her to end up having a bad experience and becoming dog aggressive. Some dogs do play hard, others just like to chase and run. Her play style could just be rough, but you need to make sure she isn't too much for the other dogs at the park. If a time out to cool off works you could keep doing that. I'd probably just leave when she gets to that point. No all dogs are good dog park candidates.
I really don't know if you can teach her to play differently, I'm thinking not.


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## notgaga (Oct 25, 2014)

Some dogs aren't good dog park dogs, if that makes sense. A lot of people here don't take their dogs there at all (I do, but my dog is not your dog, and I use a pretty big empty park). Because of situations like this, and all the variables that go into a bunch of dogs interacting thunder-dome style. So I would start by taking a break from dog parks and finding other ways to get her energy out.

I get my dog tired without using a dog park by getting my long leash (30 feet) and going to this one public park that is wide, wide open and letting her explore and run around to her heart's content. Or I take her running or on an otherwise long walk. Or on a hike, or swimming. If the weather is bad or winter, we do a lot of training. Sit, down, beg, stay, shake w/ both paws, roll over, crawl under our chairs, impulse control, 1000 things to do with a box, that kind of thing. Getting her mentally tired is just as good as getting her physically tired. We also wrestle around a little bit at home. Also, flirt poles.

Are there any dogs your dog knows and gets along well with? Could you and the other owner plan a 1-1 playdate with the two dogs?


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## Hiraeth (Aug 4, 2015)

Any ideas about what other breed(s) she is besides Corgi?

Honestly, it sounds to me like you need to do some socializing and training away from the dog park. It sounds like her behavior is a disaster waiting to happen and that the other dogs have been very tolerant up until now. Holding onto ears and collars is a sure way for her to instigate a fight, and it could happen far enough away from you that you cannot separate the dogs immediately. 

I think right around a year old is when many of these issues (herding, drive, too rough play) starts cropping up in a lot of herding breeds. About 18 months old is when I had to stop taking my GSD mix to the dog park because of issues very much like the issues you're describing.


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## sandgrubber (May 21, 2014)

Even if this behavior doesn't start a fight, it might cause injury. I used to run a boarding kennel that was big on socializing dogs. We had a fenced acre where we let some of the big dogs run. We had a couple GSP's (brothers) who were into a friendly running/biting sort of play. They also didn't like being handled, and I missed the fact that one put a pretty good puncture wound into the other's shoulder. It got infected. This lead to some moderately big vet bills and some hard feelings. Made me much more cautious about allowing some sorts of play. It's not just herding breeds.


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## Lucy (Jul 13, 2015)

Hi all,

thank you so much for the replies. I'm just going to answer some of the questions that came up and I am happy about any further advice.

"When does this behavior start? Is it right away or after you've been at the park for a while? She could be over stimulated. When Vegas has been to the dog park for too long he tries to hump other dogs, at that point it's time to leave because he's had enough and I don't want a fight to start."
It pretty much starts right away but I noticed that it gets worse the longer I am at the park.

"I get my dog tired without using a dog park by getting my long leash (30 feet) and going to this one public park that is wide, wide open and letting her explore and run around to her heart's content."
That is a good idea. I might try that.

"Are there any dogs your dog knows and gets along well with? Could you and the other owner plan a 1-1 playdate with the two dogs?"
She does know some dogs that she gets along with well and where I am pretty sure play doesn't escalate. The main issue with playdates is that you have to organize them and it's not an everyday thing. So most of the time, I would still have to exercise her in some other way. But I might try to do more playdates. Thanks for the advice.

"Honestly, it sounds to me like you need to do some socializing and training away from the dog park."
The weird thing is that she is actually very well socialized. She passed her temperament test at daycare with ease and the people at daycare praise her a lot for being uncomplicated, outgoing, and playful. She never shows aggression towards or fear of other dogs outside of the situations described in my post. When we meet a new dog or new person on a walk or at a friend's place, she is always excited and friendly and when another dog, say, growls at her during their little greeting ceremony, she immediately leaves the dog alone. So she is actually a dog with a good temperament outside of the playing situations I described. Which is not to say that you aren't right that she might need some time away from the dog park.

Since most of you suggested to take a break from the dog park, how long of a break do you think I should take? Of course, I could just stop going there altogether forever. But I would prefer it if I could return at some point. That's because, even though I might find alternative ways to get her energy out, this is probably the most efficient way and the one that is most fun for me and my dog.

Again, thank you so much for all the advice and I am eager to hear what other people have to say.


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## ireth0 (Feb 11, 2013)

I'll put it this way... if your dog is consistently getting into tense situations and/or fights, the park is probably in fact, not super fun for her.


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## Lucy (Jul 13, 2015)

Hm, I want to give it at least another shot after taking a break. Until this behavior started recently, she was one of the friendliest dogs at the park and she loves playing with other dogs. She is also great when she is playing with other dogs at daycare but I cannot afford daycare every day. It is also very obvious that she is enjoying herself at the dog park. And there are many dogs that do want to play with her. So I am not sure at this point that I want to consider it a lost cause and say "no more dog park for you ever again, Molly!"


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## Shell (Oct 19, 2009)

Lucy said:


> Hm, I want to give it at least another shot after taking a break. Until this behavior started recently, she was one of the friendliest dogs at the park and she loves playing with other dogs. She is also great when she is playing with other dogs at daycare but I cannot afford daycare every day. It is also very obvious that she is enjoying herself at the dog park. And there are many dogs that do want to play with her. So I am not sure at this point that I want to consider it a lost cause and say "no more dog park for you ever again, Molly!"


Here's the problem with wanting "at least another shot"; you already know there is a significantly increased risk of a fight because a fight has already occurred. You were just lucky that a cut was all that happened and neither dog was seriously injured nor any humans injured. If you are noticing signs of an impending fight that is "at the brink of escalation", you may not be able to get her out of the situation before it does escalate. Dogs are FAST. You'd be needing to anticipate a problem even before the lips start to curl, which is a lot harder to do with strange dogs at a dog park than with your own dogs or with well known dogs owned by friends.

It is also a risk of a "pile on" fight. You were lucky to separate the two dogs when they started fighting without any other dogs joining in or starting their own scuffles nearby.



> However, a couple of days ago, something scary happened. Molly was just playing with one of her buddies at the park—they love to play with each other and usually get along super well. They were running around, tackling each other, play-nipping at each other—what they usually do. They seemed happy. Then somehow, within a couple of seconds, things heated up and they started nipping each other more aggressively and their lips started curling a little. But before we even registered what was going on, they started fighting. For real. They were going after each other. It wasn't like one of them was trying to get away;* they had their mind set on fighting*. We pretty quickly managed to separate them but both ended up with a cut on their face.
> 
> I had never seen Molly do that before and I hadn't seen the other dog do that, either. I was shaken up and hoped it was a one time incident. However, since then, I noticed that her play with other dogs (only dogs that are bigger than her) sometimes heats up to a point where both dogs start curling their lips a little—still playing but* sort of a the brink to escalation*. Since I am very watchful now, when I notice this, I immediately grab her and give her a time out to cool down. However, it scares me that it even gets to this point. This is a completely new thing. Until a couple of days ago, Molly had never done this.


Personally, I probably wouldn't even go back to a dog park with this dog, but IF you decide to, my suggestion would be to wait until she has matured more (as in, not a couple weeks break but more like months, during which you can assess her dog-friendliness in other venues) and to take another responsible adult with you as extra vigilance and assistance if needed.



> I should note that Molly does not show any signs of aggression or dominance behavior at home. She has not changed at all with respect to me or other people she regularly interacts with. It's just her play with other dogs that has changed.


Dominance theory between humans and dogs is debunked, it doesn't exist. Interactions between a dog and humans and between dogs are very different things. 



> Then I distract her by doing a trick with her or throwing a toy for her.


Be very careful using toys or treats in a dog park. The chance of a fight over the toy or your dog resource guarding the toy or treat is a potential problem. Many dog parks do not allow toys or treats at all for this reason.


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## Lucy (Jul 13, 2015)

Thanks for that, I really appreciate it!

I guess part of what I am wondering is: are there any steps I can take to change my dog's attitudes and behavior towards other dogs in the upcoming months? Or do I just have to accept however her personality turns out in this respect? Is this one of the things that you just can't change about a dog and simply have to work around? Or are there ways to work with a dog on behaving differently with other dogs?

My plan would be to take a break from the dog park but, during that break, work with her on how she interacts with other dogs. And THEN take her back. (I agree that I should not take her back at this point.) Is it possible to work with a dog on this kind of issue or is it something that's unchangeable?

Thank you so much for your replies, everyone!


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## sandgrubber (May 21, 2014)

I love seeing dogs play and sympathize with your wanting to take Molly to the dog park.
Are there any dogs she plays well with? Can you set up play dates with those dogs? 
If you do take her back after a cooling off period, try to avoid busy times. 
Note, if she's 12 months now she's moving out of puppyhood into teenage years. Hate to say it, but these problems are likely to get worse before they get better. Not easy things to train away from.


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

You can work with training to make a dog *safe* around other dogs - as in controlled, not frightened or actively aggressing. Basically, you can make them more tolerant of dogs existing and doing their thing in situations like walking on leash, or both being engaged in separate things in the same vicinity. If the issue is FEAR you can work past that, sometimes. 

Otherwise, no.

You can not train a dog who is not dog-friendly into being a dog who enjoys playing with other dogs, or is safe doing so. That's a whole different level of interaction where what is innate to the dog is what you have.


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## Canyx (Jul 1, 2011)

Lucy said:


> Hm, I want to give it at least another shot after taking a break. Until this behavior started recently, she was one of the friendliest dogs at the park and she loves playing with other dogs. She is also great when she is playing with other dogs at daycare but I cannot afford daycare every day. It is also very obvious that she is enjoying herself at the dog park. And there are many dogs that do want to play with her. So I am not sure at this point that I want to consider it a lost cause and say "no more dog park for you ever again, Molly!"


This is exactly how I ended up with a dog reactive dog. Well, not reactive, since he doesn't 'react' in everyday situations with other dogs. But he is very touchy about his personal space and goes from giving low level warnings to high level warnings more quickly than any dog I've seen. And I strongly believe this is due to my forcing him into dog park situations when he clearly was not enjoying them anymore. He used to be completely fine playing with all dogs at the dog park then around the 1.5-2 year mark, his personality started to change and scuffles would become more frequent. "Well it was just that other dog" or "It wasn't so bad" I thought. Luckily, he never got more than a scrape and I did not push it to the point where a serious fight broke out. Though who's to say... A scrape on the outside may seem little to us but a history of scuffle after scuffle must change a dog emotionally. Anyways, I am CERTAIN that if I had continued going to dog parks that a serious fight involving deep wounds would have happened.
A huge part of this is projecting our emotions onto our dogs... WE want our dogs to be social when in reality a lot of dogs don't really care for other dogs. Doesn't mean they are aggressive. I also understand that it is a great outlet for dogs to play together and they really enjoy those interactions. I second what others have said about setting up smaller playdates with dogs you already know your dog will play well with. Or, go to the dog park when you know there is a compatible group of dogs there, but actively leave when you see a dog that may not play well with yours instead of 'seeing how it goes.' 

Honestly though, based on your initial post and especially statements like "She is now sometimes holding on to ears and collars and does not let go, even when the other dog is clearly uncomfortable with it" make it sound like Molly is not a good candidate for dog parks. One of the key things to look out for in two compatible dogs playing, is when both dogs switch roles often or match each others' play style. Rough and tumble is how some dogs play and there is no changing those dogs. But if you watch two rough dogs play well you will observe that they are being EQUAL with each other, sometimes with one dog tumbling over the other and vice versa. If one dog is ALWAYS on top, is ALWAYS the one chewing on the other dog's face, is ALWAYS the one chasing while the other dog is trying to get away, then that one dog will ALWAYS escalate while the other dog is pretty much being trampled. That is a fight waiting to happen. In equal play, neither dog escalates to that point. 

Also, if your dog is ever causing discomfort to another dog, it is your job to step in and diffuse that situation when your dog is unable to. The alternative is letting the other dog get to the point where he feels like he needs to stop the discomfort by his own means. And that is also a fight waiting to happen.


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## Hiraeth (Aug 4, 2015)

Lucy said:


> "Honestly, it sounds to me like you need to do some socializing and training away from the dog park."
> The weird thing is that she is actually very well socialized. She passed her temperament test at daycare with ease and the people at daycare praise her a lot for being uncomplicated, outgoing, and playful. She never shows aggression towards or fear of other dogs outside of the situations described in my post. When we meet a new dog or new person on a walk or at a friend's place, she is always excited and friendly and when another dog, say, growls at her during their little greeting ceremony, she immediately leaves the dog alone. So she is actually a dog with a good temperament outside of the playing situations I described. Which is not to say that you aren't right that she might need some time away from the dog park.
> 
> Since most of you suggested to take a break from the dog park, how long of a break do you think I should take? Of course, I could just stop going there altogether forever. But I would prefer it if I could return at some point. That's because, even though I might find alternative ways to get her energy out, this is probably the most efficient way and the one that is most fun for me and my dog.
> ...


Just replying to your response to my advice, so I snipped part of this post out.

When I said "socializing", I should have clarified. Your dog needs to learn how to play with other dogs in a way that doesn't cause them discomfort or distress. It is perhaps a lesson that she will never learn, because of her breed and her play style. But arranging one-on-one playdates with other dogs you know, during which the dogs are allowed off leash, will allow her to interact in a non-leash-restricted fashion but in a controlled environment. This way, the play may not quite escalate to the level of the dog park, but you will be able to observe her and separate if you need. 

We're all being very honest with you - taking your dog back to the park sounds like a very bad idea. It is a good way to make her reactive at best and to get her killed at worst. If she played like she does with my 130 lb. GSD/Great Dane mix, and he snapped to warn her, and she snapped back, he would have tried to kill her. And he may have succeeded. While it has turned out (somewhat) okay because other dogs have been tolerant, some day she's going to run into a dog who isn't. And that dog might be much larger than she is. 

I understand that dog parks are the easiest and most efficient way to exercise your dog. But how much fun are you actually having if your dog is constantly on the brink of starting a fight? And how much fun will she be having when she's getting stitches if she messes with the wrong dog? In my personal opinion, if I was in your shoes, the dog park wouldn't be worth the risk. And, in all honestly, you're probably ruining other people's fun, as well. The reason I stopped taking Loki to the dog park was because *I* was the person that other people saw arriving and they decided it was time to leave because Loki was a potential threat to their dogs. So I've been in your shoes, and I decided it was no longer worth the stress and risk to my dog and other people's dogs. 

I remember how much of a pain in the butt it was to exercise Loki in alternate fashions, but it was necessary. Does your dog like frisbee? Will she play fetch? Can you find a large open field where you can play a long game of fetch with her? That's what I did with Loki. He'd chase a frisbee for hours and it worked off just as much energy as the dog park with only minimal effort from me.


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

I don't know if you can discourage a corgi from being a pest and escalating, by using a modified punishment:
1. Watch her VERY closely on the park.
2. When she starts to be too much of a pest and will be in a situation where she won't back down, and things will escalate - you need to distract and remove.
I don't know if it's possible to be quick enough to do this with a corgi ... anyway:
3. Make a sound like "oops", "Easy", or use a handheld air horn.
4. Quickly but calmly go to the dog and snap on the leash.
5. Lead the dog to a quiet area and have her sit and watch for 30 sec. - This is NOT punishment, it's more of a timeout to calm down. Then, you can let her off leash to go play. 
6. Be prepared to repeat steps 3 - 5 for a few weeks, until she learns to calm down at Step 3.

This is a method that will work with retrievers and GSDs ... not sure about Corgis.


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## Lucy (Jul 13, 2015)

Thank you for all the replies!

I am taking a break from the dog park now (potentially a forever break, we will see). I used the advice with the long leash and went to an empty public park a couple of times to play fetch and chase her etc. It doesn't tire her out as much as the dog park but it works well enough. Thanks again for that tip!

I'll also have her go on a couple of 1 on 1 playdates and observe, as some of you suggested. In that situation, it's much easier to intervene and give her a time out if necessary.

I'll update in a couple of weeks/months how things are developing, just in case someone who has a similar problem with their dog is pulling up this thread in the future.


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## Lucy (Jul 13, 2015)

This is a detailed update on how things are going with my dog, how I worked with her, and what the results are. I am posting this here because I think it could be helpful to people who have similar issue with their dogs.

First things first: everything is great now. I am taking her to the dog park everyday and she is playing wonderfully with the other dogs. We are so happy!

What happened since my last post:

- We took a several month long break from the dog park. During this time, Molly continued to go to daycare. As I reported in earlier posts, Molly had always played well at daycare and the employees never reported any problems. In fact, the employees always emphasized what a sweet dog she was. Since Molly never showed any of the problematic behaviors at daycare, I continued to let her play there. The employees also told me that the problematic behaviors could disappear if Molly gets enough "healthy" play with the other dogs at daycare. Given that Molly now plays so well at the dog park, it seems there might be something to this theory. I also continued to let Molly play with her "best friend", which is my friend's dog. They have always played well and continued to play well.

- I met with two trainers to consult about Molly's playing behaviors and which steps I should take to improve her playing behavior. Trainer (1) had the following view: the most important thing is that my dog listens to my commands. Because if she does, then whenever she exhibits one of her problematic playing behaviors, I can just call her and make her stop immediately. This way, I can prevent situations from escalating. The trainer said I might want to train with a shock collar, in order to get my dog to listen to me at the park. She also recommended that I generally just practice more obedience with Molly and that I should generally be stricter with her. For example, I used to give Molly more than one chance to obey when I gave a command such as "come here" or "sit". The trainer said to never do that and, after the first command, just *make* Molly do whatever it is that I wanted from her. Independent of the whole dog park situation, this simple rule worked wonders in terms of obedience. The trainer also explained to me that I need to be firmer when I tell Molly "no" and get my face down to hers. This also seems to make a big difference when I want her to stop barking at someone etc. Molly has improved so much in terms of obedience since I started following the trainer's simple recommendations. Furthermore, I do think that this is partly why she is now doing so well at the park. She now listens and comes in many situations that she would not previously have obeyed. For example, when there are several dogs piling up on each other and barking, Molly wants to see what is going on and bark, too, but when we call her, she comes to us right away. It's amazing! Since Molly has improved so much through these simple measures, there was no need to try the shock collar.

- I got a prong collar for Molly, another recommendation by Trainer (1). Molly was pulling a lot when I walked her and positive reinforcement did not have any effect. The prong collar stopped the pulling. I have no idea if this has anything to do with her dog park behavior but I guess it contributed to her general discipline.

- Trainer (2) actually had Molly play with her own dogs to evaluate her, which was wonderful. This was a couple of months after I started strict obedience training and after I started the dog park break. The trainer was so positive. She said Molly was playing wonderfully and that I had done a great job socializing her. She told me how to distinguish between the dogs just being "vocal" while playing and actually aggressive. She told me exactly what to watch for when Molly is playing with another dog and what the signs are that an encounter is going bad. While the trainer explained everything to me, I realized that I had actually become over-cautious about "rough play", since I was so worried that Molly would get aggressive while playing. Now I am able to tell the difference between rough but healthy play and aggression/obnoxious behavior. That's very important and has proven to be super useful at the dog park. The trainer also gave me lots of tips for how to handle different situations at the dog park. She strongly recommended giving Molly time outs in some corner of the park for misbehavior. She also demonstrated that a quick, loud "HEY!" to a group of dogs who are playing a little wild can work wonders. Gets the dogs' attention and makes them quiet down for a second before they start playing again. A good way of loosening things up when there is even the slightest worry that the dogs might get too much into it. I now do this all the time at the dog park. Whenever I get the feeling that Molly and another dog are getting a bit too excited while playing, I just go like "HEY! Guys!" Then both dogs look at me real quick and disengage, then start playing again.

- After several months of only daycare, obedience training, and meeting with the two trainers, I started taking Molly to the park again. Boy, was she excited. First I took her when there were only one or two other dogs, then worked up to a whole crowd. Importantly, every time I went with her, I was extreeeemely watchful. I did not take my eyes of her and closely monitored all of her interactions. When I had the impression she got too riled up, I yelled at her or distracted her otherwise to make her calm down. When she played well, I encouraged and praised her. When she repeatedly misbehaved (e.g. barking repeatedly to get attention), I left. When there was a problem dog at the park, I left immediately. Trainer (1) emphasized that all of Molly's experiences with other dogs should be positive. So even a negative encounter that is *not her fault* can still have a negative effect on her behavior. That means that I leave the park if there are dogs that might be nasty to my own dog. I am basically helicoptering over my dog at the park. Other park visitors think I'm ridiculous, but I don't care because it *works*. Molly is a champ at the park now. She hasn't done the ear nipping or collar nipping thing a single time since we started going back to the park.

One thing that is really interesting and that I think is important to know for others who are struggling with similar behavior issues: Molly *did* change her style of playing. A lot of people, including trainer (1)!!!, said to me "you cannot change a dog's style of playing" or "this is just her personality". But this turned out not to be the case. I trusted my instinct and worked with Molly, rather than giving up on her, and the results are phenomenal. She is playing super well now. All of her interactions are equal play where the dogs take turns and she adjusts to different levels of intensity, depending on the dog.


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## Moonstream (Apr 3, 2016)

Yay for Molly! I'm also someone who likes to take their dog to dog parks but hasn't been gifted with a dog who is _good_ at playing at dog parks. She loves other dogs, but she has a very annoying style of playing (Typical of Bostons, lots of muzzle punches/lunges/biting of the face and ears and neck and a lot of boxing/slapping), and her small size and style of movement tends to make her a target for the dogs with strong herding or prey drive (cattle dogs HATE her). I did a lot of what you did: I have to be very vigilant about the other dogs in the park and I have to be ready to leave when I need to. I've also had to work on re-call and general obedience because I need to know for sure she'll come when called if a questionable situation arises, so lots of recall training off distractions.

I think that this perfectly frames the biggest problem of dog parks in my mind: it is possible to fully have fun at a dog park, but in order to do so safely you have to be very aware and possess a certain level of knowledge about dog-dog interactions and dog body language to be able to be on the lookout for questionable situations, and most people wanting to use dog parks don't possess this, and are doing so in a not super safe way, thinking all dog interaction is good interaction, even when clearly one or both of the dogs in the interaction are not enjoying it.


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## TGKvr (Apr 29, 2015)

Good thread... I don't do dog parks, but I do have a dog that has a similar rough-and-tumble style play. She's a mouth-licker/nipper. Usually both dogs will end up with soaking wet heads by the end of it... Sometimes I also wonder where the line is between really rough play and play that can escalate so I'm often extremely vigilant/paranoid about watching the play and intercepting the moment it becomes uncomfortable for me to watch. It's good to read about the things you've tried and worked for you to help her have a more reliable/comfortable play session with other dogs. My dog can be REALLY rough - body slams, tackles, rolls, etc. I think, based on what I'm reading here, I might start doing MORE time-outs during play. I do use that method but perhaps it's not enough or not consistent enough. Also, she's pretty good about coming when I call her during play but ONLY after about the first 10 minutes or so. If I try to call her in the beginning stages of her playing with another dog, fuggettaboutit. I haven't encountered a situation yet where my dog's play has escalated to a fight but I would prefer if that never happened, so I might try some of these techniques just to gain a little more control during her more stimulated moments.


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