# Returned my puppy to the breeder this morning



## doodle34 (Apr 14, 2015)

Today was a very tough day. 1.5 weeks ago, I adopted a 7-week-old goldendoodle puppy. I spent months doing research, stocked up on supplies, and couldn't be more excited. However, the puppy I selected turned out to be a nightmare. He was very aggressive, biting me relatively hard whenever I tried to play with him and also being stubborn and strong-minded. Friends told me that this is normal puppy behavior, but I am convinced that I got the most dominant puppy in the litter. I decided to return him to the breeder this morning after two sleepless, miserable days of thinking it over. I knew our personalities did not click and that he would be happier with another family. I felt like an awful person and have broken down in tears several times today. The breeder assured me that she would be able to find another family to adopt him.

When I got to the breeder's clinic, the breeder offered me a refund, but also said I could look at the puppy's two brothers in case I wanted one of them instead. I watched the two brothers interact with my puppy for 30 minutes, and my puppy was the most dominant, biting his brothers aggressively or jumping on their backs every chance he got. 

I spent some time alone playing with one of the brothers and found him to be very sweet and calm. When I put my hand out in front of his mouth, he bit it gently and demonstrated bite inhibition, unlike my puppy. I am wondering if my puppy missed out on important lessons from his mother (i.e. socialization, bite inhibition, playing appropriately) by me adopting him at 7 weeks. No one told me when I adopted him that an extra week or two could help the puppy's behavioral development. Had I known, I would have waited gladly.

I am now considering adopting the brother. The breeder said I can have a week to think it over. I am hoping that some of you can weigh in with your thoughts. Thank you.


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## sandgrubber (May 21, 2014)

Sounds like you have a very reasonable breeder. 
IMO there can be large genetically-determined difference in temperament between pups in the same litter, so the switch might do what you hope it will.
On the other hand, temperament often shifts when a pup is taken away from its brothers and sisters. Shy pups often lose their shyness when taken away from the biting mob of siblings.
Have you looked into any of the formal methods for temperament assessment in puppies? I wouldn't swear by them, but they do have some merit.


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## wvasko (Dec 15, 2007)

Nice breeder.


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## jade5280 (Feb 20, 2013)

You shouldn't feel bad for your decision. I took my puppy home at 8 weeks and he had awful bite inhibition. He didn't start to grow out of it until 8 months and even at almost 2 years he is still very mouthy. It depends on the individual puppy and some breeds are known to be more mouthy than others. I think if you feel better with one of the other puppies temperaments then I would say go for it.


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## Remaru (Mar 16, 2014)

I think you may need to spend some more time learning about dog training and temperament before adopting a dog at all. Your friends were right, your first puppy was doing very normal puppy things and it is very likely that the next puppy you bring home will do all of those things as well. Puppies bite, maybe the puppy did not bite you this time but more than likely at some point this puppy will bite you, they don't come hard wired with bite inhibition (some breeds are better than others but retrievers tend to take quite a while to grow into it). Puppies play rough and you have to be able to train the puppy not assume the puppy is "aggressive" or "dominant" or "bad" because the puppy does normal puppy things. My collie mix has excellent bite inhibition, he still sometimes nibbles at my arms but he doesn't actually put his mouth around me. My Carolina Dog still frequently redirected and bit me at 2years old. Neither left their litter until 9weeks of age.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Please forget about "dominance" as it relates to human-dog interactions. It's really not a thing.

I agree that you might want to do more research before getting another dog. The puppy sounds like a normal puppy, especially for a doodle (they can be pretty hyper and bitey). As mentioned above, often puppy personalities change once they're out on their own; it's very possible that the sibling could be just as energetic and bitey. 

You could consider adopting a young adult with good bite inhibition. Puppies are kind of terrible in general, and young adults can be a lot easier.


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## chimunga (Aug 29, 2014)

I cried for what felt like a month straight when I got my puppy at 9 weeks. He was a horrid little monster. He bit, and he was mean. And I was just not prepared for how terrible it was. So I did a lot of research, and invoked the help of the fine people on this forum, and they helped me through it. He's ten months old now, and he's awesome. But I still have scars on my ankles from when he was baby. 

That being said, I would not feel bad about your decision. I am a very very determined individual, and had a lot of time on my hands. If it didn't "feel right" to you, then you probably made the right decision. Personally, I would have given it a month, but I don't know your situation, so you get no judgement from me. 

If you do chose to get the new puppy, please do not expect too much from it. Try to think of dogs in term of energy as opposed to dominance. High, medium, low energy. Somewhere in between. The first puppy may have been a high energy dog, and you just weren't prepared for that. And that's okay. But the first puppy wasnt trying to dominate you when he was biting, he simply did not understand that he wasn't supposed to bite. Maybe the new puppy is more low energy. Maybe not. I would ask the breeder what he's like. Tell her specifically what you are looking for in a dog. She should know dogs well enough to give you what you need. But understand that even if this new puppy is a right fit for you, puppies bite. And it sucks. They're fuzzy little jerks. Even the best most calm puppy starts out as a biter. My dog is probably one of the calmest corgi puppies you will find, but for the first two months we had him, he was an evil little jerk. It took a lot of time, consistent training, research, and patience. And pain tolerance.


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## luv mi pets (Feb 5, 2012)

You just might not be a person for which a puppy works out for you. Don't feel bad, some know this and do not want to go through with the typical puppy biting stage. My brother happens to be one of these people. He has landed some really nice dogs. I agree with Crantastic. Drop the dominance talk and rethink the idea about getting an older puppy Maybe that breeder has an older dog for you. That breeder sounds nice to have let you get a refund, return the puppy and even have the chance of getting another puppy.


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## chimunga (Aug 29, 2014)

As a reference, here's my thread when my puppy was going through this phase: http://www.dogforums.com/dog-training-forum/319673-pupping-biting-nipping.html. It does not even begin to properly portray the amount of stress and panic I was going through.


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## sclevenger (Nov 11, 2012)

Oh puppy biting. I agree with Chimunga when she said...fuzzy little jerks. Royce as a baby once launched at my face, and got my jaw, leaving a nasty mark and I really thought he would eat us alive Sometimes. But at 2 years, you would never know it. He grew out of it.


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## parus (Apr 10, 2014)

Crantastic said:


> You could consider adopting a young adult with good bite inhibition. Puppies are kind of terrible in general, and young adults can be a lot easier.


Second this advice. Your puppy may well have been bitier than the average puppy, but they're basically all bitey and hyper. No shame in not wanting to deal with that nonsense...plenty of nice young adult dogs out there ready for adoption.


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## Pasarella (May 30, 2013)

They all bite.You can't get a puppy who won't bite.You have teach them not to. With that I mean play with toys not your hands,when the puppy tries to bite you,give him a toy instead,puppy bites it,praise him,he keeps biting you-leave,close the door and let him sit alone for a while and think why did you live.And do it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME! If you don't want him to bite you,NEVER let him do it.You have to be confident about what you want.No means no,you can't punish him by leaving one time and then next time let him bite you for a while.


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## grab (Sep 26, 2009)

Biting littermates and jumping on their backs is just normal puppy play. It is through that kind of play that they learn bite inhibition and proper dog interaction. Also, a week and a half is a really short time frame to get any idea of a puppy's personality. I don't think returning the puppy was necessarily a bad thing...better he be rehomed when young than in a home where he's a poor fit. But, I do think you ought perhaps get to know a bit more about dog/puppy behavior and maybe, as suggested above, get an older puppy/adult dog

ETA: also, yes, retriever breeds are extra mouthy. And a Golden/Poodle mix is a mix of two breeds whose job is to have things in their mouths


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## ChelseaOliver (Nov 5, 2014)

Remaru said:


> I think you may need to spend some more time learning about dog training and temperament before adopting a dog at all. Your friends were right, your first puppy was doing very normal puppy things and it is very likely that the next puppy you bring home will do all of those things as well. Puppies bite, maybe the puppy did not bite you this time but more than likely at some point this puppy will bite you, they don't come hard wired with bite inhibition (some breeds are better than others but retrievers tend to take quite a while to grow into it). Puppies play rough and you have to be able to train the puppy not assume the puppy is "aggressive" or "dominant" or "bad" because the puppy does normal puppy things. My collie mix has excellent bite inhibition, he still sometimes nibbles at my arms but he doesn't actually put his mouth around me. My Carolina Dog still frequently redirected and bit me at 2years old. Neither left their litter until 9weeks of age.


Exactly this. "Dominance" means nothing in a 7 week old pup and yes, that's a bit early, but what he was doing was completely normal. My puppy spend 3.5 months with her litter and still came home and bit me hard enough to bruise and draw blood on a regular basis. Now, at 10 months, she still bites too hard when she gets really excited. The new puppy will absolutely do all those things you just described so please think very hard before you bring another one home.


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## olivethedog (Feb 21, 2014)

I don't have much to add, really. Just wanted to reiterate that puppies bite, but there is hope for even the most bloodthirsty little land-sharks. 

When she was a puppy, Olive wanted nothing more than to latch on to whatever body part she could get her little mouth around. She was persistent and devoted to her craft. She ripped more than a few shirts and drew a fair amount of blood during what I affectionately call her "velociraptor stage." However, she was just doing what her instincts told her to do. There wasn't any malice behind it. Hands and arms and legs move and moving things are fun to bite. It just took time, patience, and consistency to teach her that biting humans isn't acceptable. At two years old, she still enjoys trying to gnaw on hands occasionally (especially when excited), but she's gentle and it doesn't hurt. She's a work in progress, but she's come a long way and grown in to a wonderful dog.

I also think adopting a young adult dog that's passed through the super mouthy phase is a good alternative if you find puppy mouthing to be troublesome. Definitely don't feel bad about it.


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## elrohwen (Nov 10, 2011)

First, I don't entirely believe the stuff about puppies developing full bite inhibition if left with their litter for another week or so. I would believe that they would have better bite inhibition towards other dogs, but I don't know that it translates to people. My own had horrible bite inhibition and was mouthy as heck for over a year, and he came home at 9.5 weeks. So much of that is just temperament and genetics. So don't beat yourself up for taking the pup at 7 weeks and don't put too much stock in that being why he was mouthy. You will be disappointed if you get an older puppy who acts the same way.

I agree with some of the others that you should think really hard about whether you're ready for a puppy at all. Your original puppy may have been the most hyper and mouthy in the litter, but all of the stuff he did was totally normal puppy behavior. If you get another puppy it will do those same things, though it may be a bit more mellow and easier to deal with. Doodles in general can be pretty hyper and mouthy dogs, so getting another pup from the same litter is going to be a lot of the same stuff.

Maybe adopting an older calmer dog would be a better fit? Puppies aren't for everyone, and there are many people on this forum who have no desire to own puppies.


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## Alla (Mar 25, 2015)

Exactly. No thank you, no puppies for me. Not even older puppies. I looked specifically for a full grown adult of around 3 years old - and having gotten a GSD that is exactly 3, I'm ever more reaffirmed that I never want to deal with puppies. She's house trained, not bitey or mouthy at all, full of excellent habits like 4 paws on the ground at all times, basic commands, a great "leave it", mellow temperament, etc. 

Don't feel bad about taking your pup back. But it does sound like you would enjoy a more grown up dog much more.


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## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

this sounds like a good breeder. If you want a puppy, go for one of the brothers but ask the breeder if you can pay say half and do a trial for a specified amount of time.


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

Definitely do some more research on dogs. Puppies, especially retriever puppies, are bitey little things. It's totally normal, is not aggression and if you can't handle it, don't get a puppy. I adopt adult dogs for a reason, I just don't want to deal with biting and potty training and biting and chewing all the things and biting. 

I'd recommend reading at dogstardaily.com and the book _Don't Shoot the Dog_, and check out Zak George on Facebook, he's got lots of posts and videos on dogs and dog training.


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## missc89 (Jan 20, 2015)

My parent's dog is about 7 years old now (if I remember correctly) and mouths playfully as a form of play. She'll kind of bite (more like chew very softly when she realizes she has fingers) but only ever when we are playing with her.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Also, keep in mind that watching puppies play for an afternoon will not tell you much about personality, which is why most good breeders will choose the puppy for the buyer rather than let the buyer pick -- they've seen the pups for weeks and know their true personalities. Maybe on any particular day, the "mellow" puppy is tired and the "energetic" puppy just woke up from a good sleep. Maybe the mellow puppy ate more that day and doesn't want to jump around as much. Maybe the mellow puppy (and this happens a lot) is less rambunctious than its siblings while they're all together but will "blossom" into an energetic little demon in a new environment. In general, puppies are puppies, and almost all will be bitey little jerks for a while.


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## doodle34 (Apr 14, 2015)

Thanks for your feedback everyone. At this time, I am leaning toward adopting the brother. I emailed the breeder politely asking what she thinks of an one-week trial period. 

Also, I asked the breeder whether the brother is aggressive or calm, and she described him as "middle of the road" but very sweet and much more docile than my puppy.


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## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

doodle34 said:


> Thanks for your feedback everyone. At this time, I am leaning toward adopting the brother. I emailed the breeder politely asking what she thinks of an one-week trial period.
> 
> Also, I asked the breeder whether the brother is aggressive or calm, and she described him as "middle of the road" but very sweet and much more docile than my puppy.


I think this sounds like a smart move. Let us know, I admit to being nosey and I hate when people come here and never show back up with updates!


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## wvasko (Dec 15, 2007)

It's a no-brainer cause this breeder backs her program.


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## BellaPup (Jul 7, 2007)

I wish all breeders were like that. There'd be far fewer homeless and neglected dogs out there if breeders didn't say "It's been over a week. Too bad - it's yours. Thanks for my trip to the Bahama's"


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## MeganP (Mar 28, 2015)

Oh man do puppies ever bite! I am there now, as I have a 12.5wk old Great Pyr, and he loves to mouth and bite! Just now got him to settle with the biting my pant legs as I walked. Whatever your choice, be ready for some stress as you teach your pup what not to do.


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

Some puppies are more mellow than others. Hopefully the brother will be more suited to your personality. But all puppies are horrid little landsharks . They do grow out of it. . .mostly .


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## d_ray (Nov 5, 2013)

Glad the breeder was so good at working with you to find a solution. 

Please keep us posted. 

My 3 year old still bites when she gets excited. It's very common especially with puppies.


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