# My dog won't hang out with me



## PatK (Dec 17, 2013)

I have a very sweet Wheaton Terrier mix pooch that we adopted from a shelter about 9 months ago. She's about 3 years old, trainable, quiet (rarely barks), seems to like meeting new adults and kids. She is enthusiastic about taking her walks 2x/day and energized at meal time. Other than that, she wants to lay in her kennel (which we typically leave open for her). 

My wife and I live alone. Our home is relatively quiet except when we're washing dishes, working on a project, etc. We're very laid back. We never raise our voices in anger at each other or at the dog.

When she is out of the kennel (after a walk or meal) she will let me pet her for a while, etc., but then goes back to be alone. I've tried closing the door on the kennel for an hour or two at a time. She will tolerate this, but is obviously uncomfortable with it. When I call her and it's not walk or meal time, she will stay in the kennel. If she's out and I call her into my "man cave" she will usually run for the kennel. 

When the family was in our home for Christmas, she was out of the kennel most of the day--sniffing babies, greeting kids, approaching strangers, letting the family pet her.

Any suggestions? She's a near perfect dog in many ways, but I'm not happy with a dog rarely greets me, rarely shows me any affection, is unwilling to hang out with me, etc. Maybe it's time for a new deodorant and mouthwash? Or, maybe she needs a family with more activity? I'm lost.


----------



## Dog Person (Sep 14, 2012)

Some dogs are like that; Zoey is like that and it bothered me for a long time (actually she is only 1 1/2 YO - so not too long). Zoey does greet me enthusiastically when I return from work or errands and apparently she does get upset if I go outside around the house without her but she does not like to be petted much. Our last dog was very slightly more interested in our contact but we attributed that to us having 2 youngish boys (youngest was about 5 at the time) and not giving her the time she needed to build that part of her up. So we adopt Zoey and I spent a lot of time with her, sitting on the floor with her, trying to play with her and giving her as much human contact I could possibly give ... today she will bark at me to sit on the floor, I do and she walks away to lay on her bed.

I asked a similar question a little while ago on this forum and apparently we are not alone!


----------



## momtolabs (May 27, 2012)

Mia is like that. She loves to be around me and see me but I Do not have to be touching her 24/7 and she isn't up my butt. I like it,lol. My labs follow me everywhere. I step on them many times a day because they stay up my butt. Like now Mia is asleep across Tue room. The labs are right beside me. I can get up and walk away,she may lift her head and watch but doesn't move,unless I'm walking out the door then she is displeased with me that she didn't get to go out,lol. 

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## petpeeve (Jun 10, 2010)

Try to be 'the center of the universe' in your dog's eyes.
You can accomplish this by various means. A couple of ideas to get you started --

Hand-feed all of her meals instead of free-feeding in a bowl. Have her perform easy, simple behaviours while doing this.
Use toys to play WITH her multiple x daily, and smile and laugh abundantly. Strictly reserve these toys for interaction with you. Remove all toys at the end of each session.

etc.


----------



## Dog Person (Sep 14, 2012)

petpeeve said:


> Try to be 'the center of the universe' in your dog's eyes.
> You can accomplish this by various means. A couple of ideas to get you started --
> 
> Hand-feed all of her meals instead of free-feeding in a bowl. Have her perform easy, simple behaviours while doing this.
> ...



Funny you should mention this! I AM the center of my dog's universe and she's doesn't like human companionship unless it's under her terms - so I guess it may work for some dogs but not all dogs. It can get annoying when I go from the living room to the bathroom and she is my shadow.


----------



## gingerkid (Jul 11, 2012)

Dog Person said:


> Some dogs are like that; Zoey is like that and it bothered me for a long time (actually she is only 1 1/2 YO - so not too long). Zoey does greet me enthusiastically when I return from work or errands and apparently she does get upset if I go outside around the house without her but she does not like to be petted much. Our last dog was very slightly more interested in our contact but we attributed that to us having 2 youngish boys (youngest was about 5 at the time) and not giving her the time she needed to build that part of her up. So we adopt Zoey and I spent a lot of time with her, sitting on the floor with her, trying to play with her and giving her as much human contact I could possibly give ... today she will bark at me to sit on the floor, I do and she walks away to lay on her bed.
> 
> I asked a similar question a little while ago on this forum and apparently we are not alone!


Snowball acts just like Zoey. He is crazy excited to see us, and gets upset if we leave the house without him (gives us that look... you know the one), but for the most part, he just likes to hang out by himself, watching stuff out the window or sleeping on a bed. I dunno, its kind of like people isn't it... some people can't stand to be alone, and some people would rather be alone most of the time.


----------



## Foresthund (Jul 17, 2013)

My childhood Malamute mix was like that,liked some attention but really preferred to be in her own kennel. I also tend to raise my dogs to be more independent so they wont have to be near me constantly.


----------



## PatriciafromCO (Oct 7, 2012)

I wouldn't take it personally,, My herd of GSDs were always under foot where ever I am not in a needy way, but always into me and where and what I was doing,, as they have passed away over the years with just two still with me in the senior years I tried two different breeds that are more of Independent natures one is sorta half and half loves to be near and interacted and the other half enjoys being outside on their own, the second one he likes his quiet time alone outside yet is personable with a devoted loyal bond when we are engaged in activities.. Seeing all the differences, I adore my GSD's, but I really like the space the other two give me as well. I have everything just as strong in the other two breeds, tight bond, devotion and loyalty, great working relationships but the space is not a bad thing. I am actually happy for them being so content with themselves as I can get pretty busy in my work from time to time.


----------



## winniec777 (Apr 20, 2008)

We call our girl the Garbo dog. She mostly wants to be alone. Has been like that since she was a puppy. We were a little disappointed, too, having waited many years to get a dog. I think we both had this image of a tail-wagging, happy, clingy dog that only wanted to be with us. But I soon learned to love her personality. She is sweet in very subtle ways and has a unique way of showing affection that I adore.

I looked at it as a puzzle to solve: what can I do to engage her and get her to interact more with us? When we first got her, my husband was traveling for work a lot and didn't have as much time to bond with her as I did. So I taught her to get excited when she saw him so that he would feel welcomed when he came home. I played lots of games with her, many that I made up based on figuring out what she likes to do (chase a ball up and down the stairs, stop balls from getting by her (doggy soccer), towel tug, etc. She began to associate these fun things with us and would come running when called to play.

It could also be a matter of time. She could still be settling in and finding her way with you. The fact that she is quiet and keeps to her crate may be because she learned from previous owners that being quiet and out of the way kept her out of trouble. Or she could just naturally be more sensitive and watchful like my dog. I would try to engage her in positive play every day and give it some time. I'm betting she comes around.


----------



## Kudzu (Aug 15, 2013)

It sounds like you just haven't figure out where her 'ON' button is yet. We have a dog that we thought didn't like to play for a long time. It turned out he was into cat toys and old bed sheets. Thank goodness we have cats and beds so we were able to finally figure out what turned him on LOL. There is one particular one he loves to fetch....we call it Shakey Mouse. It's about 6 inches long with a rattle inside, and is covered with some sort of real animal hide/fur. Its nearly destroyed at this point....I wish to god I knew where we got it...it's been many years. I need to initiate an online search to find it's replacement.

The old sheet I was using to throw over our bed in the mornings so the dogs could join us for some snuggle time without dogging up our bed. I took it outside to shake the hair off one morning and Scrappy went bananas grabbing and tugging the sheet, growling and then running mad circles around the yard and then doing it all over again.

You said your household is very quiet. This can be boring for some dogs. Sometimes they need an an infusion of energy from their humans to get playful and want to interact. I'll bet she'd be more into you if you engaged her in play more often. Instead of just throwing a ball, make it squeak, dart back and forth like you're trying to fake the dog out, jump around a bit. Make it look like you're really interested in the toy, and it will often make the dog want it too. When you really have her attention, wing that ball so it bounces off a fence or tree or something. You could try a flirt pole too....those are great fun for most dogs. My Lab looks at me like I'm the finest person on earth after a game of flirt pole!


----------



## PatK (Dec 17, 2013)

Wow! Thanks so much. It's good to know that we are not alone in this issue. Beamer (our dog) is so perfect in so many ways I really want to help her "come out" as much as possible. I'll work through your very helpful suggestions. Appreciate all of you!


----------

