# Puppy Remorse?



## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

I have a question for all of you. Have you ever gotten a puppy only to think that maybe you aren't doing what is best for the dog? Feel like you just can't do it? Wonder if it will ever get better?

My husband and I adopted a dog a little over a week ago. I will not lie that in that time he and I have seriously questioned our decision. We are good dog owners, care about our pets, but we feel so in over our heads. We successfully raised two puppies before to happy adult dogs, but we feel like we are not going to make it with this one.

We feel terrible. We know her behavior isn't her fault (she's a puppy), but we may have underestimated her...

Anyone else ever have these feelings? If so, do they go away? Please don't read this wrong--I am asking for help.


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## ioreks_mom (Oct 1, 2008)

Oh my gosh, I completely know what you are feeling. When we got Brom we really wanted a puppy and we really wanted a friend for Iorek. But, the longer we had him the more I thought "What have we done?" He was nipping, chewing the furniture, and a nightmare to housebreak. Then he got guarding issues and was super aggressive with his food.  

But, with lots of love and work from us and a few months to mature he is now a wonderful dog that we are so happy that we have the pleasure to be around. He still has his issues (pulls like a lunatic on the leash sometimes) but generally he is a great dog. He is 10 months old today. 

Don't worry! It didn't take 10 months for him to settle in. He was about 4 months when the nipping stopped. The housebreaking thing worked itself out quite quickly when I blocked his access to the rest of the house. He was only allowed in the room I was in. After about 3-4 months he didn't have an accident. 

The food guarding was a little more work (read: a lot more work!) but he is doing so well now that I can open his crate and reach in right next to his chicken thigh and he will not even flinch. It used to be that he wouldn't even let me go near the door of his crate and he was trying to gobble down the food as fast as he could.

I really didn't think that I had what it takes to help a puppy with Brom's issues. I was really upset for quite a while. But, with work and patience he is a great dog.

We love Brom so very much and are so happy to have him. 

I know that it is really stressful but it really is worth it in the end. 

I never wanted a puppy, I wanted an adult dog, but my husband wanted a puppy and he never raised one before so that is what we got. When we were taking him to the vet for his shots the vet always commented on how nice it is to see the puppy growing and turning into the calm, nice doggy that he is today, to see how all your hard work pays off. I didn't really see it at the time because I was still dealing with all those issue. I look at him now and I can really understand what he was talking about.

Pictures??? Did you post some of the new pup already?


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## LazyGRanch713 (Jul 22, 2009)

theyogachick said:


> I have a question for all of you. Have you ever gotten a puppy only to think that maybe you aren't doing what is best for the dog? Feel like you just can't do it? Wonder if it will ever get better?
> 
> My husband and I adopted a dog a little over a week ago. I will not lie that in that time he and I have seriously questioned our decision. We are good dog owners, care about our pets, but we feel so in over our heads. We successfully raised two puppies before to happy adult dogs, but we feel like we are not going to make it with this one.
> 
> ...


Yes. It was more or less of "this dog has too much potential for me to be his owner". I really really really really questioned bringing Tag, a puppy in perpetual motion, into my nice, quiet, calm, well-ordered home. After the initial "what the heck have I done?", I got into the swing of him and fell completely in love. What behavior is she doing that is bothering you? Remember you've only had her a week; you all need time to adjust


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

First, it is god to see I am not the only one that has regretted a decision such as this. I didn't want a puppy, either...my husband did. I wanted a dog (houstrained, out of this phase, etc.).


The main behavior is the barking...excessive barking. In her crate...barking...outside when I am not there...barking...she absolutley will not be outside for a second if we are not there. Even when Gizmo is.

When she isn't right by my side...barking. Even when she is with my husband. This morning my husband had her in our living room. I was in our bedroom and she barked and barked and barked like he was killing her...he was just holding her leash, but she wanted to get to me. It is stressing him out and stressing our othe rdog out (and, let's face it, me.)

Also, we are having some difficulty with the housetraining. When we take her out, she does and we praise, but when we are in the house, she doesn't seem to know to go outside so...she goes wherever she feels like it. She is never out of our sight, but she doesn't seem to give off any of the "I have to go" signals...she just squats and goes. Although I know this is a phase, this is hard to deal with as well. I feel like I am failing...and I don't deal with that well.


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## infiniti (Mar 19, 2010)

I know EXACTLY how you feel! Not long ago we got a puppy, and I was sooo out of my element, and we did end up returning him, unfortunately. He had a lot of issues that I believe were borne out of his being taken from his mother and littermates too soon (5 weeks old!), and with my work hours, I simply didn't have the time to address them all appropriately. I also didn't believe that he had been well-adapted by his foster mother in the time she had him prior to his being adopted out. He really needed a full-time doggy mom and I just wasn't suited to that role. It wasn't so much him as it was me, and I can admit that. I was incredibly overwhelmed and I felt horrible having to return him.

I am much better suited to an older dog, one that has some basic training down, and some manners. I'm too old for babies and small children, so I am too old for puppies as well!


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## Xeph (May 7, 2007)

Oh good lord, Mirada's been here like 5 days and I was ready to send her back earlier this morning, LOL!

You're normal xD It gets better.


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## kerplunk105 (Mar 5, 2008)

Yes, yes yes. 

I've def wanted to give them back many a time! I raise/train SD puppies..a lot of times its like uggh I want my well behaved dog back not some runt puppy. 

Funny though, I never felt that way about Tegan. She's been such an easy puppy. 

My last dog, a GSP..I wanted to take back when she was a pup


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

It is helpful to know that others have gone through this stuff. We just feel so lost and alone and clueless. 



infiniti said:


> I know EXACTLY how you feel! Not long ago we got a puppy, and I was sooo out of my element, and we did end up returning him, unfortunately. He had a lot of issues that I believe were borne out of his being taken from his mother and littermates too soon (5 weeks old!), and with my work hours, I simply didn't have the time to address them all appropriately. I also didn't believe that he had been well-adapted by his foster mother in the time she had him prior to his being adopted out. He really needed a full-time doggy mom and I just wasn't suited to that role. It wasn't so much him as it was me, and I can admit that. I was incredibly overwhelmed and I felt horrible having to return him.


This makes me feel a little better. We have felt horrible about the prospect of returning her for "selfish" reasons...and we would like to avoid that at all costs, but we also know the demands of our schedules and our lives and we ultimatley want to do what is best for her and us. Our lives are relatively laid back and low key and both our previous puppies were like that as well. 

We don't want to return her, but if we can't get her adjusted, we fear that is what we will have to do...for the sanity of all of us!


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## vinya12 (May 4, 2010)

Believe it or not there is a thing called, puppy shock syndrome, it affects new owners. And many people get it . What you need to do is relax. Take a deep breath and say to your self. She is only a puppy. She will be a grown dog in less than a year, all that she is doing will pass . Let it pass. she will only be a puppy for a very short time. 
To help get her house trained take her out every hour and stay with her till she pees. Do this every hour. only be for a few days. And take her out as soon as she has finished a meal and as soon as she wakes up from a nap. For barking you can make a loud nose or use a water pistil every time she lets lose. Stamp your foot near her let her know this is not aloud .But most importantly don't worry . Relax she will be all grown up before you know it


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## infiniti (Mar 19, 2010)

theyogachick said:


> It is helpful to know that others have gone through this stuff. We just feel so lost and alone and clueless.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I understand, and you really do have to do what's best for all involved. The pup we had cried ALL NIGHT LONG. He was not crate trained in the least. The foster mom had had him from the time he was 5 weeks old to the time he was 4 months old and he had no crate training, no potty training, no bite inhibition, no manners at all, he barked excessively, he urinated excitedly/nervously, he walked through his own pee/poop, he had no leash training ... he was just a mess! LOL And I had maybe 10 hours sleep total in 4 days of having him. I am a single mom and I HAVE to work full-time, and I cannot function without sleep. There was no way I could deal with that.


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## my lil nut case (Oct 22, 2009)

theyogachick said:


> I have a question for all of you. Have you ever gotten a puppy only to think that maybe you aren't doing what is best for the dog? Feel like you just can't do it? Wonder if it will ever get better?


absolutely! I felt that way for quite a while about this time last year. I was the one that just had to have a puppy and i had spent close to 5 years planning for the day i would be able to bring that puppy home (but really, i had wanted one since i was a little kid). However, everything i thought i knew went out the window when we brought the little lunatic home... in all honesty, in the first couple months the bad completely overwhelmed tiny moments of good. What made it worse was that i really felt like i was failing him all the time... i knew enough to be able to tell that he needed 'something' from me, but not enough to know what that 'something' was and i couldn't help thinking we weren't the best home for him. He was soooo easily overstimulated (although i didn't fully realize it then... i just thought he had a lot of energy) and it was like the only thing he knew how to do in that state was bite... hard... a lot! 

I think the only thing that got me through that stage (that i honestly thought was permanent at the time) was being stubborn. *lol* Was this the right thing, I'm not sure. 

Now at just over a year old, he is 1000X better... he just stopped biting all the time around 6 months and i still don't know what changed there (cause nothing i tried seemed to work). Somewhere around the same time, he became quite affectionate which somehow made the bad stuff easier to forget. He still has issues... he's highly reactive, especially outdoors... but (most days anyway) i couldn't imagine not having him.

(it also makes me feel better about my experiences knowing that other people question these things too )


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## Kimberh (Apr 8, 2010)

I got the feeling a few dogs ago. It was not her behavior but after a few weeks I realized the dog was going to be must must bigger than we expected because she was much younger than we though when we got her. We thought she as near a year old and done growing but we soon realized she was more like six month. Honestly I was not up to all the training again. I really loved that dog and but there was always a bit of regret at least for me. She passed now and I miss her but never again. For me it was a lesson learned, from that point on, I only take dogs I know are full grown and at least two years old so I don't have all the puppy training and chewing.

Not sure if that help but you are not alone.


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## Kimberh (Apr 8, 2010)

infiniti said:


> I am much better suited to an older dog, one that has some basic training down, and some manners. I'm too old for babies and small children, so I am too old for puppies as well!



That is exactly how I feel!! Plus the chewing drives me nuts. Give me an old dog that just needs to learn the house rules.


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## JennaLee (May 3, 2010)

I felt that way with my mini dachshund, I under estimated what people told me about the breed how it really is a dog who can project themselves 20 times the size and attitude of another breed. We got through it with lots of training, positive reinforcement, patience and a crate! I feel like its the same feelings people have when they get depressed after having their children. It's like will this ever end? If you can make it through the storm I'm sure things will get better! Good luck!


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## flipgirl (Oct 5, 2007)

For sure! I cried the first day - had no idea about dog ownership and did the iimpulsive thing...stupid me. And she would freak out if I left her alone for a second. And I was scared that I wouldn't take good care of her. But alas, the anxiety goes away and we're still together. Although at times, I still threaten to send her back. Jokingly of course.


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## ecodogboutique (Apr 22, 2010)

I soooo remember that feeling after the first few weeks of getting my mini-schnauzer (who is 7 years old now by the way). I will tell ya...she was a HANDFULL!!! I contemplated placing an add in the paper for a new home for her and it would have been one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I love my dog like she is my child!

Raising them takes skill, patience and love. It is worth it in the end if you're a dog lover, but it's important to remember that buying a new puppy is a life-changing experience, which I'm sure you already know after raising 2 other pups.

Overall, we all love dogs or we wouldn't be on this forum and rearing it from a puppy- is a very rewarding experience, one I wouldn't trade (and am so thankful that I didn't) for the world! Dogs give us a loyal companion that we can always count on. They don't care about what we look like, the way we talk, the way dress or the kind of car we drive, they will most likely be there through and through. 

While all of these things are great, they give us these things only in return for our affection and discipline and the time and trouble we spent helping them grow into the loving friend that they will become.

Don't give up just yet, take some time....give it a shot. I'll be you'll be glad that you did!


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## mollyshuman (Aug 26, 2009)

I totally know where you are coming from...hang in there because it will get better. The first 3 months are HELL!!!! I cant even keep track of how many times I sat and cried when we got our puppy. Have patience because it will get easier. There were times I actually put the leash on the pup and headed towards the car to return her, but I always turned around and hoped for better days. The better days do come, I promise. Just know this stage will pass and the dog you dreamed about will be sleeping at your feet.


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## MagicRe (Jan 8, 2010)

we almost adopted a puppy and then thought better of it. i had been sick for a few years...and, whilst i am recovering, i didn't think i'd have the energy for a puppy....and its needs..

so what did we do? we adopted an older dog.

we thought how wonderful..already trained....

wrong

he had no social skills, marked everywhere in the house before he was here an hour, pulled on the leash so hard i almost fell and he only weighs 18 lbs....

he pissed off our other dog...he peed on every blade of grass...i didn't know bladders could hold so much...

he cried in his crate...

he nipped.

i was calling pug rescue to give him up within the first two weeks....

with a little help from a trainer....and seven months, he is lying in his bed next to me...

it was hell...but now i know that i can deal with anything, from a puppy to this little guy....and now he's my heart.

don't give up. get ear plugs...put his kennel or crate in a closet....put a blanket over the crate..and let him bark....until he figures out that you're not coming.

take him out every 30 minutes...praise like hell...give him a treat when he does his thing outside....

play for two minutes inside and then back in the kennel.

once he starts to house train....tether him to you....so that you can keep your eyes on him....

bring cocktail hour into your routine and you will survive...

the one thing you have to do is calm down....and the reason i say that is because your tension is passing down to the dog....i know mine did.

now i threaten him daily with turning him into stew meat....but it's down to daily, not hourly....we are making progress..

and you will, too.....


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## vinya12 (May 4, 2010)

Quote (the one thing you have to do is calm down. and the reason I say that is because your tension is passing down to the dog.. )

This is very true. If you are stressed and feeling out of control the puppy will know it. And feel very insecure in her new pack. This will make her behave like a naughty child.


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## misterW (Apr 25, 2010)

I totally understand. I grew up with dogs and puppies, wanted a dog my whole life, but didn't get one because the situation wasn't right. Finally, the ideal time arrived, I thought long and hard and decided to get a puppy, knowing it would be a big commitment and a lot of work. And.... damn, its been 50X the work I thought it would be! Lack of sleep, cleaning up urine, worries about unexpected behavior, laptop cord chewed through....... its getting easier though. Hang in there and give it your best shot.


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## Bubbly (Mar 20, 2010)

Oh I've definitely been there. When I finally agreed with the BF to adopted a dog, we said we'd get a small, adult dog. Instead we got a med/large, 10 week old puppy. Due to our work schedule, I was the one who had to drive an hour round trip every day at lunch to let her out for the first 2 months.

The driving, the nipping, the housebreaking and the whining reduced me to tears after the first week. I had a grudge against the BF because it was him who mostly wanted the dog, and huge remorse letting him talk me into it.

Then things suddenly got better. Bubbles stopped nipping, started to get the housetraining and the chewing decreased.

But the thing that finally cement Bubbles in my heart was when she got kennel cough after 1.5 weeks at home. Seeing her sick and tired all the time broke my heart and then I realized she's my dog and here to stay for good or bad.

So hang in there! I'm sure there will come to be a point when you look at her and you know she's your dog.


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## lucidity (Nov 10, 2009)

I think many people have posted threads regarding this issue before  I'll rehash my story..

I live alone, in a tiny apartment. I did 6 months' worth of research on how to raise puppies before I got Cadence. I also wanted a puppy, not an adult dog. But holy cow, when I brought Cadence home, all hell broke loose.

He sounds like your pup. He barked non stop all the way from the breeders' (1.5 hours away), and all night n his crate, until I finally gave up and got a sleeping bag out to sleep beside his crate. I also put my fingers him the crate to let him lick them until he fell asleep. This went on for about 2 weeks. Sleeping beside his crate with my fingers inside was the only way to shut him up while he was in there!

Then slowly, he stopped barking when I put him in the crate. He'd just whine and cry for maybe 15 minutes or so... and finally, one day, he just went into his crate to sleep without me having to do anything. This took about a month or so. 

He would also bark and cry if I was out of sight. I couldn't even take a shower in PEACE! I had something like no sleep, and was THIS CLOSE to giving him away. But then I talked to lots of people who told me to hang in there and to just be patient because it's just the first month or so that's hell. After that, it starts to get better. And I listened to them, thankfully.

To add onto the whining/barking problem if he was left alone, Cadence was also a REALLY picky eater. He would refuse meals because he didn't like them, which definitely added to my stress levels. 

You just need to ignore the barking/whining, unfortunately. It will go away! Trust me. it took Cadence a good couple of weeks to a month to be all right with being left alone for any amount of time. He would bark and whine and scream when I left him alone. Good thing my neighbours didn't complain, lol.

You know what, keep focusing on what a GREAT dog your pup will become in just a few months!  I wouldn't trade Cadence for the WORLD now. I'm so glad I stuck with it and braced myself through the worst of it instead of giving up. He's such a good dog. Super well mannered, loving, quiet (gasp!), and happy go lucky!

Remember puppies are only puppies for a short while! You will look back in a year and wish that your dog was a puppy again


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## NRB (Sep 19, 2009)

MagicRe said:


> bring cocktail hour into your routine and you will survive...
> .


This^^^^

Seriously it does get better.

For potty training try teaching the dog to ring a bell. My last dog was like yours, never had a clue how to tell me that he needed to go to the bathroom. After he passed and when I got my new pup last summer I taught her to ring the bell. She got it in 3 days. Whew. then she abused it. (I leash my dog to go outside) So i would take her outside when she rang the bell, if she just wandered about and didn't pee in a minute I'd take her back inside and crate her (with a treat or toy) for 20-30 minutes. Take her back out, rinse lather, repeat til she peed/pooped. Then she only rang the bell to poop/pee. Then she abused it again. Since she was older and I was no longer afraid of her peeing inside the house I'd leash her and go out when she rang the bell, wait a minute (or less if it was obvious she was looking for the cat) then take her inside, crate her for 20 minutes and let her out of the crate....... to be loose in the house. Again she stopped abusing the bell. Now she rings it when she needs to pee/poop and goes within a few seconds after we go outside.

at 11mo she's STILL a barker when we leave the house. Some times she starts up when we leave and is quiet when we return. Other times she's quiet when we leave and barking her head off when I return. Some times she's quiet all the time. I try to ignore her barking, and not reward her by coming into view while she is barking. Hope it will stop. It does make it difficult to travel with her.... but I found a nice boarding kennel so I guess I'll not travel with her like I'd planned......

I did think about calling the breeder and taking her back many many times..... her barking, peeing in the house forever, obsession with our cat, aloofness and independence, lack of affection, counter surfer, jumps up on dining room table, jumps up on people, lunges and barks when encountering dogs on leash (leash frustration more than DA) demand barking and etc..... But she gets better and better with time, training and age. She's really turned the corner these past few months and become a loveable affectionate family pet. But she is and was always great with my young daughter (many times her only saving grace)


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## ThoseWordsAtBest (Mar 18, 2009)

I will flat out tell you I was actively looking to rehome Smalls when she was about 6 months old. She was literally killing me and was an extremely (to say the least) difficult puppy that I couldn't get any thing out of. If nothing was left out to destroy, she'd detroy the walls or carpet. She couldn't be crate trained- she'd physically hurt herself. Ripped pieces of her paw pads and toenails off. She bit so hard and so often. I'd take her outside and wait and wait for her to go the bathroom only to take her inside and have her poop all over the floor the second I left the room. Crazy reactive. Ripped shirts and scratched people coming in and SCREAMED at any one within a hundred yards that she could see and not get to. Even when I started tethering her to me she would find she couldn't go somewhere and begin biting me. Food aggression. Same sex aggression. 

And the list goes on. I knew how to fix all of her problems, and even though none of it seemed to be working I kept at it. EVENTUALLY it worked, but it took a long time and I really hope your pup is no where near as stubborn as her. This was over three years ago and literally the only reason I didn't rehome her because the circumstances were that she was all I had. Now it actually hurts if I think about how I was going to rehome her. I was going to give up on this dog who never had much of a chance to begin with and defied some pretty crazy odds.


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## Shaina (Oct 28, 2007)

Hang in there...in a few weeks when you start catching up on sleep, things will get better.

For the first week, Mira screamed so loud in her crate _all night long_ that you could hear her from the sidewalk. She was in the house, in the bedroom, and she was so loud I was afraid neighbors were being kept up. Anyone who spoke to me during her first three weeks with us can validate that I was basically walking around in a stupor.

When we had Kim for about 3 weeks she had a week-long bout of explosive diarrhea...and we lived in a one-bedroom apartment at the time. All hours of the night, we were up scrubbing. At one point we had the poor girl in her crate in the kitchen with a sheet draped around the crate to, well, contain things. It only helped a little. At 3:45am on day 4 of The Worst Week of my Life, on my hands and knees scrubbing out a incredibly nasty crate was the one and only time I have truly entertained the thought that I was just not ready for a dog.


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## GottaLuvMutts (Jun 1, 2009)

The really good ones are always the toughest. No pain, no gain.



LazyGRanch713 said:


> Yes. It was more or less of "this dog has too much potential for me to be his owner".


Yeah, I hear you there. I still think that thought on a daily basis.


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## jess4525 (Aug 27, 2009)

I completely understand how you feel as well. When my husband and I adopted Cam (he was about 3 months at the time) I was so sure of our decision. But after a few days of having him home, I realized that I must of made a big mistake! We work crazy hours (day care fixed this) and he's not house trained, the fence isn't puppy proof, the house isn't puppy proof! I went nuts. I even called the shelter and asked about taking him back (I really regret this now) But hubby talked me out of it and made me realize, like everyone else said, it does get better. Yeah, it's really hard at first, but when I realized what an amazing dog he is, and will be, I just had to get over it. 

We've had him almost a year now, and we wouldn't give him up for anything!

Hang in there, it'll get better.


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## jbray01 (Dec 26, 2007)

oh my gosh!! i totally know the feeling. the second i got rosie in the car with me i thought "oh dear lord. what have i done???"

the first few weeks of a new pup are so hard, and incredibly frustrating. they are just so unpredicatable and unreliable. i can tell you that once you get used to each other it does get better. until eventually you can't imagine a day without them!


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

Wow! I am sooooo glad I am not alone. I was feeling like such a bad person for having all these feelings...and now I feel like less of a bad person.

Last night we really thought we were going to take her back...In fact, I had told my parents that I was pretty sure I couldn't do this...and then I took her out and ran her around. She and my other dog played in the backyard. She chased her toy...chased Gizmo...chased bugs...and passed out at 9.

She went into her crate without a peep at 10...and woke up barking bloody murder at 2. I took her outside, she did her business, and I went back to bed. She kept on barking for a while and stopped. I have decided I am purchasing earplugs and letting her bark it out. 

This morning I decided we are keeping her. Yes, I am exhasuted, yes, she won't stop barking...but here are the positives:

After only one week, she already knows sit, down and shake. She knows to sit at the backdoor before we go out. She knows to sit before I put her food down and she is learning to wait until she can eat it. She is super sweet and super smart.

After all of this, I realized that all the positives outweigh the negative--and she is staying put.

Thank you guys for making me feel like less of an idiot and more of a normal person! Gracie thanks you, too.


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## luvntzus (Mar 16, 2007)

I'm sorry about the troubles that you're going through.  I'm sure it will pass. Did you get another Shiba? I would love to see pics if you have them.


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## TZel (Apr 10, 2010)

We are first-time puppy owners too and have thought about throwing in the towel a few times! Thanks so much for everyone's encouragement!


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## Bertie (May 3, 2010)

I completely hear ya. I waited 9 months for my pup - read all the books from cover to cover and thought I was prepared for everything that puppyhood brought.
... How wrong I was! NOTHING prepares you for the mental fatigue and exhaustion of a new puppy. I can quote Ian Dunbar almost verbatim, but my pup has his own stubborn little personality and does stuff that must be in the invisible appendix!
I've been close to tears on numerous occasions and cried quite a few times.
I've doubted my ability to cope countless times.

It's now week 5 with him (he's now 13 weeks old) and things are finally starting to fall into place. We're starting to bond and I can see the fantastic dog he's going to become.

I echo what everyone else has already said. Just to add - the thing I found most beneficial was to set aside a little "me" time every day. Sometimes it's only 30 minutes or so, but it's time away from my pup, time when I switch off and remove myself from the responsibility for just a little while. 
I realised that I was obsessing constantly about him. When he WAS being good and was being calm, I was already anticipating his next manic outburst. It felt overwhelming because I didn't have any time away from it all. (I work from home, which made everything worse). Initially it was just 30 minutes of "me" time. I'm a keen road cyclist, but outdoor rides are out of the question at this time - so 30 minutes on an indoor trainer was my sanity time, my release.
Now I'm up to 2 hours of crating him. I can fit in a quick ride, a trip to the grocery store (woo-hoo! ) or just a little time in the garden.

I think that, whatever your situation or your set-up, "you" time is essential. It might just be a cup of tea in the yard of an evening, a bath, a drink, listen to your favourite song on your ipod (so you can't hear the barking!). Anything. 
If it becomes part of your routine, the pup will learn to accept it - and even 30 minutes out of a whole day won't undo all the good you do - but will give you more empowerment than its weight in gold.
The most important thing is that you feel in control and feel able to cope.
Discovering this has been my saving grace.

Good luck to all those with new pups.


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

luvntzus said:


> I'm sorry about the troubles that you're going through.  I'm sure it will pass. Did you get another Shiba? I would love to see pics if you have them.


We did not get a Shiba. We got a husky mix from a local rescue. She is adorable, but a handful...more energy than we anticipated, but we are dealing with it. The best we can...we are just looking forward and realizing that she won't always be like this (we hope!) 

I am trying to have some "me" time each day. I do yoga (my saving grace) and try to get at least a 30 minute practice in a day. I usually wait until Gracie is asleep or hubby has her.


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## tuckersmom20 (Feb 7, 2010)

Hi 

I know exactly how you feel. When we got Tucker..he was a great lil puppy for about 2 days.
After those few days, i thought i was going to go insane.
He would cry and whine in his crate at night, sleep was almost nothing and house breaking was torture!!!
He nipped like a crazy animal, barked like anything...and had energy for 6 dogs.
I thought i had gotten the ONE nutso dog, and taming him was going to be difficult.

He would pee outside, come inside, then pee right behind me 2 seconds later...i finally started catching him in the act, and the housetraining light bulb came on...and since 5.5 mths old...hes been accident free 
The nipping is still there to a degree, he just turned a year old, ansd was taken from his parents at 5 wks old....so he didnt get the very important values.

At one point, i did call the rescue, and said come get him. He nipped, he barked, and peed and pooed everywhere. I thought he was the one dog that was sent to me to break me....and he was succeeding.

Fast forward to just about 14 months old....
I would not...ever...trade him for the world.
He is my heart dog, he has my heart and he knows it.
He's extremely intelligent, and listens now 
The puppy stage is difficult, thats an understatement....but there is a light at the end of puppy stage....there is, trust me.
He is my boy, he is amazing. Intelligent...crazy, and hyper but tamable.

Dont throw in the towel just yet!!! I promise you, it will get better...and youll be so happy you stuck threw it. 

Anything that was worth it, was never easy.


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## CandJHarris (Apr 29, 2010)

I was feeling pretty overwhelmed myself at about 3:00 this morning, so I totally understand the frustration you were feeling. Tyson is almost 8 weeks old, and I've ordered his new crate, but it hasn't been delivered yet, so we're kind of winging it for now with us sleeping on the couch so I can feel when he gets up (I'm a really light sleeper) so I can take him out. He decided that he just wasn't in the mood to sleep and would rather climb me like a tree and paw my face...needless to say I was NOT a very happy camper. 

But everyone else is right...just stick with it and don't forget to breathe. In a few months all the sleepless nights will be worth it when we have housebroken, good mannered young dogs instead of the restless and wild furballs we have now! LOL


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## quills (Jan 20, 2010)

I know the feeling. Misty was very difficult for the first month or so. Housetraining was impossible, she was going every 15 minutes and couldn't hold it at all. With working with my vet and trying different meds, we finally got her UTI under control. She's now 6 months old and has passed her puppy class. I can walk her and she stays right next to me with very few corrections( turning and going the other direction). She knows all her basic commands, sit, look at me, down, leave it, drop it, sit/stay, down/stay, and wait to go through a door. It does get better, it is alot of work but worth it when they start to know what to do.


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## Chikyuu (May 1, 2010)

flipgirl said:


> For sure! I cried the first day - had no idea about dog ownership and did the iimpulsive thing...stupid me. And she would freak out if I left her alone for a second. And I was scared that I wouldn't take good care of her. But alas, the anxiety goes away and we're still together. Although at times, I still threaten to send her back. Jokingly of course.


Me too. I got my first puppy (That I will be taking responsibility for) less than a week ago and I felt overwhelmed by it because it was a surprise and I had to deal with first-night puppy cries without knowing what to do. I cried. I ended up letting her sleep in my bed (which I honestly don't mind - I have a queen size bed, I think it can hold a border collie husky mix and me. I hope she's not a bed hog though =P) Sometimes I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing with her, though. I almost considered bringing her back because I wasn't prepared - but we need a pet in this house, it's very lonely.


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

I am going to lose it. Really. She i sgreat during the waking hours. KNows basic commands, hasn't had an accident in the house since Monday, but...

Here are two things:

If I leave the room, she whines incessantly…and last night she whined for like 2 hours at my mom and dad’s because they watched her while I was out. Even if TJ is with her, she still does the same thing. I tell him to ignore it because we don’t want her to learn to whine and get what she wants, but it does try the patience of the most calm individuals…I am hoping that is just a puppy thing and she will outgrow it and it isn’t the beginning stages of serious separation anxiety.

The main problem is that she barks when she is in her crate at night. She will go to bed quietly enough around 10 (she may whine and bark for like 10 minutes, but she is quiet after that), but by 1:00 in the morning, she is barking nonstop. And it continues sometimes for hours. If I get up to take her out, sometimes she goes, and sometimes she doesn’t, so that tells me she isn’t barking to go outside—she is barking to be let out. When I put her back into her crate, she keeps barking. She does it if we put her in there during the day as well. We put her in for 30 minutes to have dinner the other night and she barked the entire time.

I only got two hours of sleep last night. I can't go on like this. We had hoped that she would calm down as she settled, but she has gotten worse. Does this sound like seperation anxiety to you? If so, I don't know if I am equiped to handle that...


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

Ignore her. Yeah easier said than done, I know. I actually had to send Mia to a room upstairs, shut the door, and turn off the light. She barked for hours and hours and hours all night the first few weeks. She would also bark if I left her with someone else. She screamed the entire 6 hour ride home from her breeder's... It does get better, the biggest thing is consistency. DON'T take her out if she's crying. That will only reinforce it. 

Anyways, yes the first oh... year? lol with Mia was pretty bad at some points. Still is sometimes but it's getting better. Mia is honestly more energy than I needed, more drive. She is a very good dog though. 

It's just last night she decided to 'bury' her raw in my clean laundry. I seriously contemplated taking her to the pound.


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## lucidity (Nov 10, 2009)

I don't know if it's possible for such a young puppy to have TRUE SA... But I'm with Laurelin on this one. It sounds like you guys are not being strict enough with her. REALLY IGNORE. I did the same as Laurelin. I'd gate Cadence off in the kitchen with his crate, go to my room, shut the door, and blast my music to ignore his barking/screaming.

This went on for a couple of weeks at LEAST. But really, ignoring is the BEST thing you can do! If the barking bugs you, just put the crate somewhere her barking won't bug you so much. Basement? Bathroom? Somewhere far from your room!


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

I don't take her out when she is barking. I stand outside the crate and wait for her to calm down before I open the door. If I go to open it and she starts up again, I back off and wait. I do not want to reinforce this behavior. 

I am afraid it is seperation anxiety and this will not get any better. It would make sense, I guess. She was abandoned at a shelter when she was 9 weeks old, was there for 3 weeks, was put in foster care for four days, and then came to us. I contacted the rescue and they forwarded the information on to a trainer...

My hope is that she will just get over it and not that it is an underlying more serious issue. I know that all pups are needy...she just seems overly needy.

We are really good about not acknoledging her when she is excited, hyper, etc. She has to sit and calm down before getting attention, etc.

Thanks...you all are making me feel better.


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

I would go somewhere she can't even see you while she's crated. It doesn't sound like SA, just puppiness.


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

Laurelin said:


> I would go somewhere she can't even see you while she's crated. It doesn't sound like SA, just puppiness.


I hope it is just puppyness. She is (according to the birthdate on the rescue stuff) 14 weeks old today. 

I bought ear plugs today and tested them. She was barking up a storm when I got home. I completely ignored her, went into the bedroom, shut the door, turned on the fans and put in the ear plugs...and I can STILL hear her...and these earplugs are supposed to reduce noise by 32 decibles.  Apparently she is louder than i thought. 

I plan on moving her crate to an upstairs room on the opposite side of the house this weekend. I wanted to leave it in a room we are in a lot (so she could get into her crate whenever she wanted), but it just isn't working. 

Bottom line is if she is staying (which is what we want), we need sleep...and she can sleep for 6 hours (sometimes 7) without needing a break, so she is going to have to deal with it.

I will admit that if this doesn't improve, we are at a loss. Both of us are exhausted.


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## lucidity (Nov 10, 2009)

theyogachick said:


> I hope it is just puppyness. She is (according to the birthdate on the rescue stuff) 14 weeks old today.
> 
> I bought ear plugs today and tested them. She was barking up a storm when I got home. I completely ignored her, went into the bedroom, shut the door, turned on the fans and put in the ear plugs...and I can STILL hear her...and these earplugs are supposed to reduce noise by 32 decibles.  Apparently she is louder than i thought.
> 
> ...


Move her to another room. What I found was that the barking/crying is WORSE when the pup can actually see you around. I think she's barking to get your attention. At first I had Cadence's crate in the living room as well, but he barked and barked non stop, so I moved him to the kitchen and just ignored him.

I don't think she has SA at 14 weeks old. She's just very young! She needs to learn how to be alone, that's all. Just tough it out. Once she realizes that being left alone isn't the worst thing in the world, she will stop barking


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## MagicRe (Jan 8, 2010)

how often is she walked? how much and what kind of exercise does she get?

what do you put in her crate? does she have a food filled kong of some kind? a bully stick?


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

MagicRe said:


> how often is she walked? how much and what kind of exercise does she get?
> 
> what do you put in her crate? does she have a food filled kong of some kind? a bully stick?


We haven't had the chance to actually walk her yet, but we do have a very large fenced in backyard. We play fetch and she and my other dog run around the yard for quite a while each night. I work on training each day. If we can't play outside, we play fetch and train indoors. She is run until she can't run anymore.

We have toys and such in her crate...including her puppy nylabone that she loves outside her crate, but not in it. I bought some peanut butter today and plan on putting it into a Kong and freezing it and trying that tonight. 

I didn't know if I should leave a chewy of any kind in her crate if she is unsupervised. I worry that she may choke on it.

I did order some bully sticks and some deer antlers the other day and I am waiting on them to arrive.

I have also emailed a local trainer about a puppy "kindergarten" class that is starting in a couple of weeks, so we shall see.


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## MagicRe (Jan 8, 2010)

she's fourteen weeks old...young, but is she walkable? you may try putting on a collar and a leash and letting her have it on....we do that with our dogs when we are training them to leash....just put it on and leave it on.

we also tether our dogs during their young or untrained days....

and when i mentioned walking.....if you can train her to walk, you establish yourself as the leader.....that's just one of the benefits...right now, she has no reason to listen to you, does she?

walking is so powerful....perhaps include that in your training?

as to filling a kong? peanut butter is ever so funny to watch...freeze it and really give her a challenge...we used to put frozen pureed chicken in bubba's crate...

we also gave him bully sticks and antlers.....in his crate, so he wouldn't be bored..


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

She actually walks fairly well on leash. We walk her when she needs to go outside because it is too soon for her to just go on eher own (that and the fact she won't go outside without one of us there) She is on leash constantly in the house so we can get to her quickly. Right now as I type her leash is looped around my ankle. She is whining and crying because she can't get where she wants to go. It is pathetic, really. 

She is walkable...we have had some bad weather and couldn't get her out to walk. I was going to take her today, but we are having 35-40 mph wind gusts and they say we have a nasty line of storms coming through very soon.

We gave our other dogs peanut butter and it is funny to watch...I guess it sticks to the room of their mouths, too.

And it is safe to leave bully sticks and deer antlers in the crate when she is unsupervised? I didn't think that would be okay.


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## MagicRe (Jan 8, 2010)

yeah, that bad weather can be a real interference in getting puppy trained...

we were lucky this year....i have one of 'those' dogs, too, except he was two when we got him....oy....

but, seven months later, he's better....it took consistency, which is not one of my strong suits, but i became the little train that could...because all i could imagine was taking him to pug rescue and no one being able to handle him. even now, no one can give him a treat because he's a grabber, still.....and everyone thinks pugs are harmless....yeah, right. try being on the receiving end of him taking a cookie 

the barking and crying is still an issue, but not so much of one.....it's a tough love kind of thing.

he spent much of his time in his kennel...right in the same room with me....the only time he came out was to go for a walk and then five minutes of play and then back into the kennel....i put my ipod on and a blanket over his crate.

i know it's driving you nuts....but if you're diligent and consistent and you can get the weather to clear up so you can walk this dog several times a day and not in the back yard.....real walks....it establishes you as the leader and tires him out in a whole different way.....i think you can do this....i really do..


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## theyogachick (Aug 2, 2009)

We moved the crate last night. At 11, I took her upstairs and she got right into her crate and laid down. I woke up at 3 and went in the hall to listen...not a sound. Woke up again at 5...not a sound. Woke up a 7...not a sound. I went up to get her and she was sitting quietly in her crate.

I went out for a few hours today and left her with a peanut butter filled Kong. She was quiet when I left, but barking like mad when I got home.

I also discovered something else: I was looking at the curtains in my office today only to realize that one side was lower than the other. Apparently she got ahold of one curtain while she was in the crate and pulled so hard she bent the brace on the curtain rod  Guess it is a good thing I moved her!


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## vinya12 (May 4, 2010)

its sounds like you are doing well. well done  i leave the TV on for mine when i go out. it helps them to have the sound of the tv and makes them feel less lonely


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