# Miss my foster dog



## COSMO

Our first foster dog left today. I have zero worries about his adoptive family. I really liked them and I can tell he will be well loved. But my heart is broken. I miss him so so much and I feel so guilty and sad that he feels abandoned and stressed out right now. 

Does this get easier in time? I'm not sure I can do this again. I just selfishly want him back. Any words of wisdom from those that have done this before?


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## georgiapeach

I understand that you feel a sense of loss right now. If you want to continue fostering (I hope you do!), you've got to get in the mindset that your situation is temporary, and that your mission in life is to be the go-between between the pound and a WONDERFUL permanent home. I've only fostered a couple of times, and I was so excited when the dogs found their forever homes. I felt that I was successful when it happened. Dogs live in the here and now, and their sense of loss and stress usually doesn't last too long, as long as their new situation is good. While you want to get the dog to trust you, you don't want to get overly attached, to avoid the intense separation pain that you're going through. {Hugs!!}


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## Shell

COSMO said:


> Does this get easier in time? I'm not sure I can do this again. I just selfishly want him back. Any words of wisdom from those that have done this before?


Yes, it does get easier. You learn to see how happy the dogs are in their new homes and you take joy in the happiness of a dog recently released from the shelter to be your new foster.

The dogs will transition fine to a loving home. For a few weeks the dog might be a little stressed or confused, but they are very adaptable creatures and will quickly fit into the new home. After a few months, their new home is like their only home to them. 

I'm on my 12th foster in the past 2 years. I tend to take on the difficult dogs so I've had dogs spend up to 6 months with me. Of course I get attached and care about all of them. But when I took that sweet girl that spent 6 months in my house working out her troubles to her new home and her new owner was totally accepting and caring and willing to continue working on her needs? That is what makes it worth while.


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## Rescued

I'm on 30-something fosters right now.

For my pet fosters, it does get easier. You learn to love watching them go to their forever homes and knowing how much you helped along the way.

For my assistance dog fosters, it gets harder with every one. Not really sure why there is such a difference between saying goodbye to my pet fosters and saying goodbye to my assistance dog fosters, but there is.

You can do it!


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## Naliwali

Yes, for me it did get easier. I fostered 20 dogs in the span of 5 years. The first 5 were difficult and skidish to say the least. But after working with them an realizing that they had come a long way and were now ready to be integrated into homes, was a very bittersweet feeling.

I do feel confident that I placed them in there forever homes. A few I still here about and the others, well I pray they are fine. I know I did my best and that's what counts the most.


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## Greater Swiss

I've only done two foster dogs, gone through letting both go, of course one is back (thanks to a poor choice in new owner, or at very least a new owner whose situation went poorly enough to prevent him from finding Dexter when he got away!). 

I found that over time it does get a bit easier, and I mean the time from when they leave you. Diesel has been gone for months now, and although I'm pretty curious an would love to hear how he is doing, I've made a point of not pestering his new owner (who did give us a couple of updates over the first month or two). Time is coming for us to let Dexter go again and hopefully find him a REAL forever home, and it is going to be hard, I'm sure I'll be missing him a TON for the first couple of weeks (and a lot after that too). Eventually, you'll settle into knowing that you did something fantastic for your foster that allowed him to move onto his forever home, and realize that you contributed so much to their lives by being in it rather than letting them sit in a shelter, not to mention any rehab or training you might have put in. 

It is bittersweet, I found leaning towards bitter for the first while, but eventually, the sweetness will take over and you'll know you did a good thing, and not dwell on the fact you didn't keep them. The good memories will stay and the sadness of letting go will fade (a bit anyway, I know I will ALWAYS miss the way Dexter would jump and lean on the deck railing with me while I have my morning coffee, but it will eventually make me smile rather than feel sad). Time will make the first time easier, and later on, the more fosters you have, the easier it will get as well, especially if those fosters are successful placements. If you have a less successful placement don't let that destroy it for you though (that is an issue I'm wrestling with for Dexter's next adoption...).


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## DJEtzel

I'm somewhere around 25 for fosters, currently.

I love it. It gets a lot easier, don't worry. 

Plus, getting to see your fosters 8 months later is kind of awesome. 


Untitled by DJetzel, on Flickr


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## Hopps

Is it possible to be able to keep a relationship going with the adoptive family? I adopted my dog, Hopps, from a foster home last year. The girl really loved him, but was going into the navy, and was only going to keep him for a year to foster him anyway. I still have her contact number and occasionally call/text her as well as put updates about Hopps on facebook, which she can see as well. This way, although she can't physically be with Hopps, she can still be a small part of his life. It has worked out for the both of us, getting advice and ideas with Hopps, as well as something for her and I to look forward to, with trading stories about my dog...and sometimes these stories are ones only she can understand best, since she was his foster mom.


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