# Rescue bonding more with our other dog than me?



## funkytoasty (Feb 1, 2014)

Hi we recently got our dog from the shelter (Lexi) she is probably about 8 months to 1 year old (not sure) She is terrified of new situations and people she won't bark or bite she just runs and cowers or rolls over when you try to pet her. Recently I've noticed she wants to be more around our other dog than me I try to hold her attention and play with her but she is always interested in other things or the other dog.Is there anything I can do to really bond with her??? any responses would be greatly appriciated! 




LEXI

also does anyone know what breed she might be? They said boarder collie mix but I'm not sure


----------



## SDRRanger (May 2, 2013)

How long have you had her? Do you know her past history?

If she's new a lot of it might be due to seeking security from another dog friend since people and new situations scare her.


----------



## PatriciafromCO (Oct 7, 2012)

are your other dogs good role models  If you have just gotten her it easier to follow a trusting group of dogs.. And I take it as a blessing when a new dog is easy to work with when they easily follow my group and learn quickly through them. When you have a dog that is terrified and defensive it's nice that you don't have to put your hands on them, or get into a struggle with them about going for a walk or learning the daily schedule that they will follow a good leader dog to learn from .. It's easy to build trust and bond with a dog that you don't have to get into struggles with.. As much as they follow a good leader dog, they still learn about you and working with you in a positive.


----------



## Kayla_Nicole (Dec 19, 2012)

SDRRanger said:


> If she's new a lot of it might be due to seeking security from another dog friend since people and new situations scare her.


This is exactly how our male rescue was with our female when we first brought him home. He played more with her, because I don't think he had ever played with toys with humans before (or at all). It only took about a month for him to really bond with us (my fiance and I). He and Alannah still love to play together and she gives him confidence in new locations and new situations that are scary for him, but he is very bonded with us (humans) and plays with us, walks nicely on leash even without her being around, and has started doing much better in his obedience training with us. I think this is pretty normal behavior for a shy, anxioux, possibly fearful dog that gets along well with other dogs. Don't look at it as a bad thing, look at it as a positive thing. Just make sure each dog still gets daily individual attention and she will come around.


----------



## goodgirl (Jan 14, 2013)

She's gorgeous! Maybe she has some german shepherd in her as well? You are so lucky she likes your other dog! Especially lucky if your other dog is well behaved and she models her behavior on his.

Here are some tips to help YOU bond with her. Get familiar with "calming signals," lots of info out there. Just let her be. Feed her, toilet her, that's about it. Don't talk much to her, talk soft, move kinda slow. Casually toss her a tiny treat as you walk by when she seems calm and relaxed. Let her see your positive interactions with your other dog. When she starts coming up to you on her own, calmly slip her a little treat, maybe stroke her slowly for a bit if she likes that. Include your other dog. It's important that she sets the pace for this, it will help her trust you. Do this for 2 weeks, even 2 months if that's what it takes. If you've already had her a while it may only take a few days for her to start coming up to you regularly. Let her follow you around and give her tiny treats now and then.

Make sure she has her own places in your home she can "retreat" to. Crate, corner of the couch, part of your bed, under a table, whatever. When she's resting calmly in her place(s) just leave her be. Be aware that with some young rescue dogs the words "no," "off," "down," etc. may carry negative associations for her. Also any stern tone of voice. Try to keep things light, quiet, calm and pleasant. Avoid excited play with you for now. As she learns to trust you she will want to play more.

If she can sleep in the same room with you she may also bond more quickly. You could even take a sleeping bag near where she sleeps if that seems appropriate. You can eat with her; say, share a sandwich with her. Just you and her, not your other dog. If she's really timid, you can sit or even better, lie down near her and read aloud to her - maybe a dog behavior book! 

These are just some ideas. I work with a lot of shy shelter dogs and find them helpful. Maybe Lexi is not that shy and things will go quicker and easier. Have fun and know your new girl is lucky to have found you!


----------



## funkytoasty (Feb 1, 2014)

Thank you guys for your responses. Her history is that she and her sister were found as strays but later it was found out that her sister had been shot multiple times with a BB gun so it was confirmed that both dogs came from an abusive home. Max our other dog is a good example for her she recently learned how to fetch and seems to really enjoy it. She has come out of her shell so much around us but tries to run from strangers which hopefully with time she can get over that.


----------



## goodgirl (Jan 14, 2013)

That's great! To help her fear of strangers you can ask them to just ignore her, not stare at her (dogs find that intimidating) until she comes up to them on her own. She will probably follow Max on this, right? Then they can give her a little treat and some attention. She will learn that strangers= good things. It helps if they get down to her level too, as I'm sure you know! As you go on with her training you may find it helpful to know about "working under threshold." That will help with her fears about new situations.


----------

