# No you can't pet my dog.



## KcCrystal (Sep 12, 2008)

Why don't people listen when you tell them that? I was walking Sassy in the neighborhood, and a lady runs out of her house with her 2yr old child wanting to pet Sassy. I calmly say she's not comfortable with strangers. But she keeps trying to let her child pet my dog. I finally just turned around and went back home.. Sassy's not a fan of small children, or strangers. I hate being mean, but please for your own safety, don't touch her. Am I wrong for asking people to leave her alone?


----------



## Abbylynn (Jul 7, 2011)

You are most certainly not wrong for asking someone to leave your dog alone. You wouldn't want anything to happen such as a dog bite. To make a long story short I had a dog on my own porch many years ago and a neighbor insisted on coming up with her child. I asked her not to do so because I knew the dog did not like children......and sure enough.the child was bitten in the face and required stitches. I had my dog on a leash and was not held responsible.......but I felt responsible anyways and paid the hospital and doctor bills. It could have been worse. The child could have been maimed for life, the dog put to sleep, and I could have been sued. Things can happen sooooo fast you have no control. You are being responsible by asking for anyone to not bother your dog as far as I am concerned.


----------



## Sendiulino (Jun 20, 2011)

Are you wrong? Of course you're not wrong. You can ask people to not touch absolutely anything you own, dog included and especially if it is for the child's own health. Not to diminish dogs down to strictly property but, you get what I mean -- I see it like the parents who expect everyone to baby-proof their homes, but I don't have children and my home is _not _baby-proof so if you must bring the kid with you then please do not let your insane little toddler run around in my livingroom, for the child's own safety if nothing else. 

Parents do that too, by they way. As a child-free person I've encountered all sorts, including people who basically demand that I watch _their _children around MY things in MY home because THEY don't wanna bother keeping their kids away from second-shelf breakable items. This is why I refuse to have kids in my home any longer.. I just won't do it. Get a babysitter.

Anyway.. point is, you know your dog, and you have a right to set the rules. After the first polite indication to not touch your dog while explaining why not, that would be it for me and I would not be _nice _about it the second time whatsoever.


----------



## KcCrystal (Sep 12, 2008)

I'm not just looking out for my dog, I'm looking out for her child and herself. Sassy has never been around kids, and we never have any over to our house, so she doesn't know how to act around them and she'll usally hide behind me or try to get away. But I wouldn't chance it. I know my dog, and I try to walk her when the kids are in school.


----------



## Zoopie (Feb 22, 2010)

Three weeks ago, I had a man INSISTING it was okay for his son to run towards my dog and pet him. I INSISTED it was not. He said, and I quote: "Bah. Worse thing that can happen, your dog teaches my son a lesson about running in the streets".

The kid still had his pacifier. My dog is a 65 pounds working dog.

It's been a constant issue since. I even asked the cops to go talk with the man, but it still happens.


----------



## Sendiulino (Jun 20, 2011)

Zoopie said:


> He said, and I quote: "Bah. Worse thing that can happen, your dog teaches my son a lesson about running in the streets".


This is another situation I'd get less-than-polite. "No, the worst thing that happens is three days from now you're attending the funeral for your own son."

I just don't tolerate stupidity


----------



## TheBearCat (Jun 5, 2010)

I discourage children and their parents from petting Andy without permission, and he's fairly tolerant of children. Of course, being a 70 pound Bulldog helps to discourage them as well. The last Rottweiler we had developed some serious reactivity issues towards small children; particularly those that moved fast and screamed. It all began with a little boy who dashed across the street, hands out, trying to pet him-despite the lunging, snapping and snarling coming from Kaiser. Luckily, his father stopped him just as he was closing in and nonchalantly told him to back away. Ever since then, I've been particularly diligent about policing children around my dogs.


----------



## Lamora (Aug 16, 2011)

I KNOW you are in the right with this. I actually seen someone that made up a sign on the dog's back pack that said DO NOT PET! I WILL BITE! The owner had a muzzle on him. Very "red zone" i guess, But yea-- the words were right there. Im just the oppisite, I WANT Sadie to meet people and kids. But only after she is in a "relaxed" state. That one is hard to make ppl understand sometimes. But I agree, YOU know your dog. You know what you need to do.


----------



## KcCrystal (Sep 12, 2008)

I'd love to buy her a vest or a pack saying, please don't pet me. She's not aggresive, just doesn't want strange people touching her.


----------



## Sendiulino (Jun 20, 2011)

KcCrystal said:


> I'd love to buy her a vest or a pack saying, please don't pet me. She's not aggresive, just doesn't want strange people touching her.


You can buy a lot of patches and vests out there that say "Please don't pet me -- I'm working". They are obviously for service dogs, but you can buy them easily and may just do the trick for you. Maybe you could get one of the patches and just pull out the stitching for "I'm working", then put it on a little backpack.


----------



## SchH_Addict (Aug 27, 2011)

Stark went through a reactive phase where he would bark and lunge at any stranger he thought got too close. 

Someone would ask to pet him and I would say, "not today" or "no, he is not okay with strangers" but some would still continue forward. I would step in front of Stark to stop them but sometimes they would continue on, in those cases Stark would react and bark, that would stop them dead in their tracks. I would follow up with, "he is not fond of strangers in his space, like I told you". He would become very nervous if someone came into his space and the only way he knew how to handle it was to bark. He was socialized up the wazoo (and continues to be) and comes from good breeding stock and is totally fine now but for a good 6-8 months was very reactive.

People just don't get it. They think they are invincible or that they "know dogs". 

With Stark, while we were working on his reactivity, I purchased a bright red collar with the words "In Training" on them for everyone to see. If someone would ask to pet him, I would say, "sorry we are working right now" and continue on. Maybe because of his breed they left us alone after that. I got some people thinking maybe he was a service dog or the like, but I never once tried to pass him off as such so I let them think what they wanted. When people know you are working they tend to leave you alone more I noticed.

Definitely don't think you are in the wrong at all. You are protecting your dog AND the public.


----------



## KcCrystal (Sep 12, 2008)

Your GSD is amazing! I just recently had to have my GSD pts. They're special dogs. Thanks for th collar idea! that'd probally work


----------



## SchH_Addict (Aug 27, 2011)

Thank you, I have never owned any other breed, so that is all I know!

I am so sorry to hear about your GSD, if it is Zeus in your signature... gorgeous.. captivating eyes!

The collar has worked for us and now that Stark is over his reactivity or at least it is being managed; we no longer need it but I do put it on when we are in large crowds and such.


----------



## iheartmarcus (Jul 27, 2011)

NO WAY are you in the wrong in any way! You are being a responsible dog owner!



Sendiulino said:


> This is another situation I'd get less-than-polite. "No, the worst thing that happens is three days from now you're attending the funeral for your own son."
> 
> I just don't tolerate stupidity


RIGHT!? But what I hate the most is when they ask, but as they're asking they're already on the move, hand reaching out ready to smack smack smack my dog on the head, which apparently equals petting to some. So I don't even have time to get a "no" out, never mind explaining why I say no. Gaaaah. 

Related is the much hated encounters with dog owners whose dogs are clearly dog aggressive yet they insist their dog just wants to play and lets that retractable leash go and go while the dog is snapping closer and closer to my dog. As we try to make a calm retreat / swirve-around, I get things like "they're FRIENDLY" as if we're not. What?


----------



## Sendiulino (Jun 20, 2011)

Maybe we should all start carrying around standard legal waivers in our back pockets along with a pen. "Can I pet your dog?" -- "Yes but I'm going to need your signature here.. here.. and initial here.."


----------



## KcCrystal (Sep 12, 2008)

Yes, that's Zeus in my siggy. He was a wonderfull dog. I still have a hard time looking at Shepherds with out crying. 

I love the idea ofhaving people signing wavers lol


----------



## Cracker (May 25, 2009)

It is absolutely okay to be as firm as you need to be to keep strangers away from your dog. I walk dogs for a living and will head off ANYONE who approaches any of my dog's without express permission, adult or child. I put the dogs in a sit and body block the person. Then IF it is appropriate with the dog(s) I am walking the dog is allowed to approach the person (if the dog is interested) rather than the person approach the dog. Cracker has a cue of "go say hi". I have been known to physically keep children away if necessary, if the adult has an issue with me touching their child, well, I have an issue with your child touching my dog...for BOTH their sakes. Even my child friendly dogs are protected until all is calm and appropriate. Period.


----------



## shellbeme (Sep 9, 2010)

Sendiulino said:


> Maybe we should all start carrying around standard legal waivers in our back pockets along with a pen. "Can I pet your dog?" -- "Yes but I'm going to need your signature here.. here.. and initial here.."


This is an awesome idea  Yea I haven't run into the whole 'stay away from my dog' and 'oh but he's so cute' thing yet, but that would drive me nuts.


----------



## PatchworkRobot (Aug 24, 2010)

I hate things like that. My boy is fine with strangers so it's never really an issue. However, some creepy guy approached me once and as he was coming onto me he asked if he could pet my dog. I told him that my dog bites and the guy backed away so fast he almost tripped. I found it amusing. You could always try that.


----------



## katG (Jun 27, 2011)

People can be so dumb. I had a couple approach me and my friend while we were walking our dogs (Pit Bull and Neo Mastiff) and just allow their TODDLER to pet them without asking!!! REALLY?? Luckily they are both friendly dogs, but who would want their baby going up and petting a Pit and Mastiff without asking first? My fiance's theory was that they were after a law suit lol.


----------



## Sparrow (Jul 17, 2011)

I was in the park one day & was approached by a very nasty little man who started heckling me about having a 'tough dog'. I find it interesting that this moron comes up to me this way. Everything about him was aggressive. I put the guy off & cut through the park trying to get to my car to put myself & my dog out of harm's way. The guy got worse & worse & finally he struck me. It would have been worse if my dog - a 95 pound male dobermann - wasn't trained to defend my life if necessary. For one thing, if he wasn't trained, i wouldn't have been able to control things. The dog was in motion before the guy touched me so he prevented the strike from being hard enough to hurt me. The dog took him down & kept him there. A police officer was driving like a mad-man thru the park (not on a street but dodging trees) to get to us. He saw the WHOLE thing & saw the dog did not strike first. Of course the bozo under my dog was screaming he was attacked, the dog bit him first, blah, blah, blah.... For a guy who was attacked, he didn't have a bite or puncture or bruise on him except where he hit the ground. My dog never made a bite. During the police officer trying to cuff this maniac, he broke lose & started trying to punch the officer, again... my dog took him down & held him. STILL not making a bite. The police officer was fawning all over my dog for the help.

What's that got to do with what happened to you? 

Here comes a man & his kid. The little girl wasn't tall enough to see over my dog's back. Dad sent her running up to my dog & after she hugged him with her face in his... she then grabbed my dogs penis & asked me 'what's this'? This was less than 10 minutes after my dog had physically taken a man down twice. 

My dog is well trained. If I wasn't trained, if my dog wasn't well trained & damned reliable this all could have ended VERY badly. NOBODY handles me dogs, pets my dogs or feeds my dogs. They are my responsibility & if people don't like it... they'd better get over it or get outta my face. The last time some lady came up & tried to slobber all over one of my dogs I did the same to her husband, acting the same toward the man as she had my dog including trying to scratch his tummy........  She got mad because I made her feel foolish. I told her not nearly as foolish as she would have felt minus her face. The dog at my side was not mine. I was training him (rehabbing him) after he'd been beaten half to death & had his back broke by criminals. This dog was NOT a dog to futz with.

Mine go out with a training vests that say "DO NOT PET. DOG at Work"

Nuff said. It's not my job to educate the masses, or someone's kid or to explain myself. It's my dog, my responsibility & my rules


----------



## bowie (Apr 26, 2010)

Unfortunately, the world is full of people who feel they are entitled to do whatever they want.


----------



## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Wow, Sparrow, that is a crazy (and great) story! Your dog sounds wonderful.

I once had a guy with a toddler and a mini poodle approach me and Crystal. I told him that Crystal was okay with kids but not with other dogs, so what did he do? Let the poodle and the kid run up to her at the exact same time. I yanked her back and got the hell out of there; I did not want to risk her snapping at the poodle and hitting the kid.

This morning I was sitting on the end of a small floating dock with Crystal and Casper, and two joggers decided they just had to come out and sit right beside us. Casper is nervous of some strangers, and these ladies were loud and kept trying to reach for his head. He couldn't back away because we were on the end of the dock, so he had his hackles up and was barking. One of the women kept saying stuff like, "Oh, you're just a pup; you can't hurt me." Lady, he's a year and a half old and he has teeth, and if he actually wanted to hurt you instead of just ask you to back off, he certainly could. I got out of there, too.

It really annoys me when people insist on trying to pat dogs that are clearly warning them away. It happened very rarely with my last dog because he was so big (he was usually tolerant of strangers, but successfully warned a couple of stoned teenagers and a creepy drunk guy away when they were harassing him), but my current two are small and people seem to think it's worth the risk, or something. A bite from a small dog would still hurt!


----------



## The_Monstors (Oct 1, 2010)

Sparrow- That is effing scary and crazy. That dog of yours is amazing.

People are dense, and I think people are just entitled to things and when things go wrong, they never take the responsibility that it's their fault for not heeding a warning.

I've met one person at the park with twin boys and they were the first parent I've ever seen to say to their kids to stop running at my dog and to first ask me if it's okay and told their kids to sit and let the dog come to them. My pug girl is great and wouldnt hurt them even if they are rough so I let them pet- she loved children. I really praised and appreciated the parent sitting there with me in the grass and policing his boys if he thought they were being too rough and showing them how you pet a dog and where they can touch her. There needs to be more parents like that!


----------



## Daenerys (Jul 30, 2011)

I haven't had a problem with people petting my dogs, but I have had people with other dogs let theirs run up to mine. Legend is territorial and protective of me, so if we are out walking and he sees another dog he starts growling and once they're close he will lunge at them to bite. But several times I've had people tell me about their dog "Oh, it's ok, he's friendly!" as I am trying to drag my dog away. I always respond "Yeah, well, mine's not!"


----------



## LazyGRanch713 (Jul 22, 2009)

All 3 of my dogs have a bright red vest with a yellow "IN TRAINING" patch on it. People have asked if they are service animals, and I say "No. We are in training because I'd like to trial my dog and he needs to know that not every person he sees is going to stop and pet him". 99% of people respect this, the 1% who doesn't I simply walk away (even if they're still talking). It might be a bit rude, but if I explain to someone that I *don't* want my dog to be pet right then and there and they don't listen, I don't mind coming off as rude. 
On the flip side, if someone ASKS if I can release my dog and they can pet him, I will say sure as long as he remains sane  I've met quite a few nice people who are more than willing to help me teach my dog to stay four on the floor, and that is appreciated. My goal isn't to make my dog NOT enjoy nice people, but rather the goal is to teach them that just because a nice person makes eye contact with them isn't an invitation to break a stay, or drag me over to them. If people are willing to work with me, I am more than happy to work with them. All 3 of my dogs enjoy nice people (people who are able to greet a dog in a sane, normal manner sans the squealing and screeching "I LOOOOOOOOOOVE DOGS!").


----------



## Tofu_pup (Dec 8, 2008)

For the most part, people around here are pretty good about dog and child greeting etiquette.

Though one day(and I love this story) I was standing outside of a starbucks patio with the girls while my roommate was inside grabbing the coffee. Several kids were running all over the pation squealing and being kids. Their mom looked like she was on the verge of pulling her hair out. One kid makes a bee line for Kennedy but he was cut short by her low growl. The kid went to tattle on my mean doggy and mom just replied with,"That's why you don't pet dogs you don't know, dumb*ss".

I was very pleased on a separate occasion when half a dozen young boys were running toward "my" coffeeshop patio. One boy saw my dogs and stopped running and told all the other boys not to run near unfamiliar dogs. They did. After they all had thei smoothies, they took off running within feet of Kennedy who was startled. That same boy came back and apologized on behalf of his friends. I was just stunned. I wanted to hug him and buy him another smoothie and cookie or something, this coming from somebody who likes children even less than Kennedy!


----------



## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

I love dogs but I always ask if the dog is friendly to humans, if it's just me and to dogs, if we have ours with us. Even then, I know that anything can happen and if I am allowed to pet a strange dog and something happens, it's my fault.


----------



## Sighthounds4me (Nov 7, 2010)

If I am in a pet store, park, dog show, etc, I ALWAYS ask if I may pet dogs before I do. If the owner/handler says no, I thank them, and move on. If they say yes, I crouch down to their level, and calmly speak to the dog. If the dog does not want to come near me, fine, that's his/her prerogative.

The only exception to the above are formal meet-and-greets.If the dog is there representing his/her breed, I assume it's okay to pet so I don't ask. I still let the dog come to me, though.

My favorites, though, are people who come up and ask, "Does your dog bite?" I always WANT to reply, "No, moron, I wouldn't have him here if he did!" But instead, I reply, "No, he's friendly. Would you like to meet him?"

More often than not, kids I see in public are taught well by their parents. I often have kids ask me if it's okay to pet. And I always make a point to thank the child for asking, while giving an appreciative smile to the parent. If they don't ask, and just walk up, I tell the child, "My dogs are friendly, but you should always ask the owners if it's okay to pet. Not all dogs are friendly!" It usually pisses off the parents, but I feel that if they aren't going to teach the kid, someone needs to before they lose their face!


----------



## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

That is similar (though with potentially more dire consequences) to people who hold a treat three inches in front of your dog's face and ask, "Is it okay if I give him a treat?" The standard testy response was, "No, it's not okay and, with the wrong dog, you'd already be missing some fingers. Mine is not that dog, but he's on a restricted diet."

I used to take my 115 pound black lab to nearby elementary school for classroom sessions on how to deal with a dog you don't know. At that age, some kids are frightened by all dogs, and some of them are fearless. The whole time I was doing those classes (which my dog and I and the kids all enjoyed immensely) I was thinking, "This is stuff your parents should be teaching you."


----------



## ladyshadowhollyjc (Oct 28, 2008)

I'm had this problem with Ellie the other day. I get that she's an adorable 4 pound dog and why everyone wants to hold her. However, I've been working on her fear issues since she was 6 weeks old. We have made great strides and I am very proud of her. I try to take her out when i know the stores will be slow. 
Last Tuesday afternoon I took her up with me on a quick trip to Petco. The store was pretty empty, so I decided to take me time and let Ellie walk around and sniff and enjoy herself. We were doing great she even let one really polite woman, and one of store employees pet her. I couldn't have been prouder of her. And then some stupid woman came up to her and while I wasn't looking patted her on the butt. It scared the crap out of her. So I picked her up (because the woman was still trying to pet her despite Ellie giving her the meanest barks). So instead of it clicking into that woman's head that my dog was terrified of her, she proceeded to ask me if she could hold her.


----------



## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

I have a neighbor who has a lab mix guide dog (who looks like a bench lab.) The dog is magnificent. I've watched him ignore a squirrel running past a foot in front of him.

I will frequently encounter the two of them while they are walking past my house and the urge to pet the dog while I chat with the owner, or at least ask if I can pet the dog, is nearly overwhelming. But I don't.

I understand the primal urge to pet a dog. What's amazing to me is that the same parents who would never allow a child to approach a human stranger, and will train them to avoid them, will actually encourage them to approach and handle a strange dog.


----------



## Inga (Jun 16, 2007)

Few things more frustrating then the parent that thinks their kid has the right to do anything they want to your dog. My dogs are well socialized and friendly toward children but I do not like sneak attacks on my dogs. Lucky for everyone, my dogs to date have not minded the sneak attacks but it simply is not fair to the dog or to the dog owner for parents to allow this. Did I mention it isn't fair to the child either? Some day those children will misbehave by the wrong dog and will pay a heavy price. Sadly, so will the dog.  I work in a hospital and it is mind boggling how often kids are brought in to the ER with dog bites. Adults too for that matter and listening to the people, 99% of them were preventable. 

I like the idea of wearing a vest that says "NO PETTING" or something like that. Sadly, even that won't work for all people. Just ask anyone who has had to navigate the streets with a service or seeing eye dog. At least it should help with most people.



> That is similar (though with potentially more dire consequences) to people who hold a treat three inches in front of your dog's face and ask, "Is it okay if I give him a treat?" The standard testy response was, "No, it's not okay and, with the wrong dog, you'd already be missing some fingers. Mine is not that dog, but he's on a restricted diet."
> 
> I used to take my 115 pound black lab to nearby elementary school for classroom sessions on how to deal with a dog you don't know. At that age, some kids are frightened by all dogs, and some of them are fearless. The whole time I was doing those classes (which my dog and I and the kids all enjoyed immensely) I was thinking, "This is stuff your parents should be teaching you."


I agree RonE. I also work with a group that does public education. The focus is to teach children to be safe around dogs. You are right, it should be the parents job to teach the child to be safe around dogs but sadly, few do. Many of the ones that do, make the children terrified of strange dogs, which to me is also a bad thing.


----------



## KBLover (Sep 9, 2008)

Inga said:


> Few things more frustrating then the parent that thinks their kid has the right to do anything they want to your dog. My dogs are well socialized and friendly toward children but I do not like sneak attacks on my dogs. Lucky for everyone, my dogs to date have not minded the sneak attacks but it simply is not fair to the dog or to the dog owner for parents to allow this.


Agreed. 

Fortunately, the kids that show interest around here are either ones Wally knows (and thus tolerates) or usually ask.


----------



## Zoopie (Feb 22, 2010)

Sendiulino said:


> This is another situation I'd get less-than-polite. "No, the worst thing that happens is three days from now you're attending the funeral for your own son."
> 
> I just don't tolerate stupidity



And I know I'll be responsible if something happens. 

Dexter loves kids. He is happy to be pet, when it's done correctly. If he feels overwhelmed or too happy about it, he jumps. Teens around town can go see him whenever they want and they play with him often, since they don't mind if he does end up jumping and they know him well. I'm really careful with kids under 10 though. Accidents could end badly if he jumps or start spinning in circles out of joy. One little girl on my street constantly asks me to pet him. I always tell her to ask again after the walk and if he's calm, she can. I sit next to the dog, pet his head to make sure he doesn't get too excited and she pets him. Sadly for me, most little kids think it means they are allowed too (and often without my supervision).

Adults are never an issue. Dexter is afraid of men. If one pets him during a walk, he'll hide behind me and cry. If I'm not with the dog, he'll pee and shake. He usually hides first with women too, but he can choose to go for it after a bit of hesitation.

So really...my main issue is with kids under 10. And since Dexter looks like a giant teddy bear, they are often the ones going for it.


----------



## LazyGRanch713 (Jul 22, 2009)

I like the idea of wearing a vest that says "NO PETTING" or something like that. Sadly, even that won't work for all people. Just ask anyone who has had to navigate the streets with a service or seeing eye dog. At least it should help with most people.

A family friend had a seeing eye dog for years, I groomed her (she was a GSD). Once she was gone, it was marveling to stand back and watch he and his new dog learn to work together. It was really cool, and apparently (for the most part) people left them alone. 
Another friend of mine has a Service Dog, a Golden. When he's out of harness, he's a typical dog who runs through the house, gets in trouble occasionally, and actually reminds me a bit of my GSD. When he's in harness, he's all business. When I'm out with this friend and the dog is in harness, he greets me very quickly then ignores me. When we go for a recreational walk and he's out of harness, he's a stinker and is an attention hog. It's really quite cool to see how they know the difference. If strangers pet him out of harness, he's wiggly, insane, happy, etc. If a rude stranger starts petting him while he's IN harness, he's cordial and that's it.


----------



## CricketLoops (Apr 18, 2011)

Being a serial dog petter myself, I really sympathize with the people who seem to have a compulsive need to pet every dog they see. I also sympathize with the kids who don't know the right way to approach a strange dog and the importance of asking permission first... as I was one of those, too. It's not really my parent's fault -- they tried VERY hard to get it into my brain that I needed to ask first, and "OMG! DOGGY! -runs to pet-" was completely inappropriate. I eventually learned that I needed to ask first, but even then it was an ask-while-arm-extended-moving-closer type of thing. In the end it was a very nice man and his huge malamute that somehow managed to teach me the concept. 

I remember it very clearly, which is strange because I think I was eight at the time. I was approaching the dog very quickly with my arm outstretched towards the dog's face saying "HI PUPPY!" and the dog WOOFed at me. You know, the low-pitched, unmistakable "you need to back off NOW, I am very uncomfortable" bark which stopped me dead in my tracks. The man looked at me, sighed, shook his head, and said "Would you like to learn how to greet dogs so that you don't scare them?" I said yes, and he made sit down on the ground exposing my side to the dog. He told me to put my hand out on the ground, palm up, and not make eye contact. Then he put a treat in my hand and told the dog to go investigate.

After the dog had licked the treat up off my hand, he gave me more instructions "Look at the tail first. See how it's wagging? See how his ears are pulled slightly back and his mouth relaxed? That means he likes you and you can try to pet the dog. Put your hand on his chest first and do very soft pets. Never reach over the dog's head -- that can be scary." He coached me through the rest of the interaction, telling me when it was okay to move on to other areas of the dog and demonstrating the difference between good touching and bad touching (that sounds really inappropriate...) He ended it with "Next time, greet a dog like that, okay? It's the secret language of dogs."

I changed my greeting ways after that. I still had (have) a compulsive need to pet every dog I see (except dogs in working vests). Now I try to pay that forward every time I'm out with my dog(s) and a child approaches me, billing it as "Yes, you can pet the dog, but only if you want to learn the secret language of dogs." If I'm teaching my dog something (and I usually always am), I ask the kids to help me train my dog, and they usually agree enthusiastically. A lot of times I take the opportunity to explain why I'm training a behavior and why what I'm doing is working, if they seem interested. But then, I genuinely like people (and children) and enjoy the socialization opportunities that come with dog ownership. If I'm not feeling like being nice to anyone, the dogs wear their "in training" vests and I try to visit places where there are less people. 

The only time I don't ask to pet a strange dog is when they're off leash, way in front of their owners on a designated hiking trail. Sorry, but if your dog approaches me and you're too far back to ask (sometimes I can't even see you), I'm not going to wait until you approach and ask permission, I'm going to touch the happy dog that is soliciting my attention. Of course, I am also very confident in my ability to read dog body language and know when a dog wants me to pet it, is tolerating my petting it, or would really rather I did not touch it, and I always respect what the dog is telling me. If you want more control over who touches your dog, you should keep it on leash or in sight with a 100% reliable recall so that you can call it back to you as soon as you see me. Otherwise I will touch your dog.


----------



## Sparrow (Jul 17, 2011)

Crantastic & The_Monsters,

Yeah, my boy was a heck of a good dog. He's passed on now. Funny enough, he'd never been around children but he was crazy protective of them. You did not grab a child aggressively or harshly correct in front of this dog. He was protective of children. I was always proud of how wise this dog was instinctively. He was one of the coolest dogs I've ever met. The guys we work with stopped calling him by name, they called him The Boss or Bossdog. But I never assumed he wouldn't make a mistake. Any dog can make a mistake (trained or not) when the people they encounter act weird. Heaven knows there's plenty of *weird* out there in the world!

Where I live you may go years & there isn't much in the way of crime. Next thing you know, you're covered up in it & a lot of times you'd better be able to handle yourself or it'll be too late. I live very remote location. But I really didn't expect trouble that day in my local city park! We were lucky that day. 

We try to educate kids & adults that no dog should ever be approached & petted without permission. 

Does anyone have a good resource for the 'no petting' or 'dog at work' vests?? I've got a new dog & just discovered my old standby doesn't carry them anymore.


----------



## marsha=whitie (Dec 29, 2008)

The other night I took Bryna for a walk to meet up with my SO, and a group of teeny-boppers came up behind us and a kid basically HUGGES Bryna. She didn't hear the group of kids, so he scared the crap out of her. I'm surprised she didn't bite him, to be quite honest. Why do people assume that its okay to do shit like that?!


----------



## missk4012 (Aug 28, 2011)

You are completely in the right here. And I can sympathize. I have this issue in my neighborhood ALL the time. Neither of my dogs will bite, but my younger one is extremely high energy and I've had trouble getting him to not jump up on everyone - when a small child or a very old person wants to pet him I always tell them it's dangerous and a hassle for me and keep walking. Even though he won't bite, a 70 pound dog jumping up on someone unprepared for it can be a danger, not to mention it's a pain for me to regain control after he gets excited.

I have a similar problem with my older, and better behaved dog. Whenever we walk him where a leash is not required, he's perfectly fine off leash. He'll sniff at some people but always ignores children as he doesn't much care for them. And yet, people insist of trying to call him over to say hi to their kids no matter what I tell them. He's also not a biter - but he terrifies children if they get too close by growling and putting up his mohawk. And then it's somehow my fault some little kid is crying.

People need to learn to listen to the dog owners, rather than their small children. Every kid wants to "pet the doggie" but that dog's owner is the one who knows whether that's okay or not.


----------



## missk4012 (Aug 28, 2011)

CricketLoops said:


> The only time I don't ask to pet a strange dog is when they're off leash, way in front of their owners on a designated hiking trail. Sorry, but if your dog approaches me and you're too far back to ask (sometimes I can't even see you), I'm not going to wait until you approach and ask permission, I'm going to touch the happy dog that is soliciting my attention. Of course, I am also very confident in my ability to read dog body language and know when a dog wants me to pet it, is tolerating my petting it, or would really rather I did not touch it, and I always respect what the dog is telling me. If you want more control over who touches your dog, you should keep it on leash or in sight with a 100% reliable recall so that you can call it back to you as soon as you see me. Otherwise I will touch your dog.


I wish more people in my area could figure this out. My well-behaved dog gets to run out ahead of me off-leash. He will go up and sniff people he is okay with and keep his distance from those he is suspicious of. I have no problem coming up on him and finding someone petting him. I do have a problem catching up and finding someone trying to pursue him while he's clearly backing away and uncomfortable. Then they always make some snide remark about how my dog is bad and should be on a leash with the other dog - because he's growling at them - he wouldn't be growling if they left him alone.


----------



## Jenn~n~Luke (Aug 20, 2010)

KcCrystal said:


> Sassy's not a fan of small children, or strangers. I hate being mean, but please for your own safety, don't touch her. Am I wrong for asking people to leave her alone?


In my city, you, like I...would be labelled the scum of the earth for this. Trust me I know. This whole issue is one of my *biggest* pet peeves. No, at this stage in the game it has long since become more than a mere peeve of mine. In my case, I put up with it, and excused it for almost 2 years. Yes..it's rare to see such a huge dog, yes my breed is not common in my city, especially a black GD and one as huge as Luke. I get it. He's different, he draws a crowd, and everyone MUST stop to ask questions and mutter utterly stupid comments that I've only had to listen to a billion times that day. I get it, and even accept it....but what I cannot stand is this idea that because I happen to have a less seen breed, I am somehow morally *obligated* to stop every single time and allow crowds of people to literally manhandle my dog. No asking, no common courtesy, no understanding on how to properly approach let alone interact with a strange dog whatsoever...and whether Luke WANTS to be darn near strangled, yanked and mauled on, who cares? I *owe* it to the public to allow them to do what they wish. >>Insert angry face here<<
Because he's a GD and supposedly all great danes are giant marshmellows who automatically want strangers hanging off them..even though it is a natural breed trait to be leery of strangers, and since many danes unfortunately have fear issues...its just taken for granted that every one will stand there and take it. It's a dangerous mistake for people to make, running up to a GIANT dog who may or may not be comfortable with that yet I deal with it every single time I leave my house.


----------



## dagwall (Mar 17, 2011)

I've actually been really surprised by most of the people and kids I've run into while walking Jubel. The vast majority of people do ask if he's friendly and if they can pet him. Jubel pretty much loves anyone who might give him attention but I'm very glad people bother to ask. He's done very well with all the children we've met, he isn't really interested in them but sits or stands calmly and lets them pet him. Much more excited to see adults if we stop to greet, just fine with walking on by with just a glance if we don't stop.


----------



## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Jenn~n~Luke said:


> what I cannot stand is this idea that because I happen to have a less seen breed, I am somehow morally *obligated* to stop every single time and allow crowds of people to literally manhandle my dog.


I definitely understand this, because the same thing happens to me when I take Casper to a bigger city. "Oh look, it's a little husky! Is he a miniature? Alaskan _what_? He has one blue eye and one brown eye!" They always try to pat him. One woman tried to pick him up! He's okay with strangers unless they reach right over his head, which of course most people do because they don't know any better. 

One morning he, Crystal and I were outside our hotel and I was trying to get him to poop on a patch of grass. A couple came by with a gorgeous pit bull (black and white, blue eyes; wish I could have gotten a picture) and Crystal and Casper freaked out. While I was trying to apologize to the pit's owners and get my dogs out of there, some other lady butted in and started asking me all kinds of questions about Casper. I could barely hear her over two barking dogs and it was obvious I was busy. Come on, now.


----------



## LuvMyAngels (May 24, 2009)

I allow people to pet Buster because he enjoys the attention (especially from children). With the way he attracts children I have a perfect opportunity to help teach them how to properly approach a dog they dont know. I remind the kids to always ask before petting a dog, even Buster, because dogs have bad days sometimes just like we do. We're to the point now that some of the kids Ive worked with for the last couple of years will now step in and teach the younger ones! Im usually dealing with huge crowds of kids at a time so the extra help from the older kids is great.

If I had a dog that didnt enjoy attention from others (for whatever reason), it'd be too bad, so sad (for the humans) and we'd be continuing on our way. 

Now if I only had a dollar for every time I heard some variation of "where's his saddle"...


----------



## Jenn~n~Luke (Aug 20, 2010)

Good lord we'd be rich wouldn't we?


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Sendiulino said:


> This is another situation I'd get less-than-polite. "No, the worst thing that happens is three days from now you're attending the funeral for your own son."
> 
> I just don't tolerate stupidity


I agree, I have & will get very blunt & rude if I have to to get someone to leave my dogs alone. I just want to be with them in peace, but ppl want ro be rude & butt in... God for bid their child hears the word "no" its just easier to just let the child have their way then deal with a "I want to pet the doggy" tantrum I suppose... But still.


----------



## CricketLoops (Apr 18, 2011)

missk4012 said:


> I wish more people in my area could figure this out. My well-behaved dog gets to run out ahead of me off-leash. He will go up and sniff people he is okay with and keep his distance from those he is suspicious of. I have no problem coming up on him and finding someone petting him. I do have a problem catching up and finding someone trying to pursue him while he's clearly backing away and uncomfortable. Then they always make some snide remark about how my dog is bad and should be on a leash with the other dog - because he's growling at them - he wouldn't be growling if they left him alone.


But if you come up on them and didn't see what happened, how do you know that he wouldn't be growling if they left him alone? Honestly, if I knew I had a dog who was people-selective, I would not let him get far enough away to where I couldn't see him anymore, because it's my job to protect him from people who won't listen to his body language and may put him in a situation where he feels like he needs to defend himself, you know? If, someday, a person acts inappropriately with him, or he growls and they get scared and think they need to do something to protect themselves -- if he retaliates in any way, guess who gets blamed? It's you, and it's the dog. I just don't think it's fair to the dog to risk that.


----------



## mustlovedogs123 (Mar 23, 2011)

Rigz is very bad with strangers (only if they try to touch him) so i walk him when i don't think anyone is out for exactly that reason!!! people just assume all dogs are friendly!!


----------



## I love Buck (Aug 28, 2011)

I think you are right. My dog got poked in the eye by a child and somtimes is afraid of children.:wave:


----------



## Averyismypei (May 24, 2010)

I have a trained service dog for a health condition that I have. She is not to be pet while on duty (out in public) but do people grab at her? Yup! Does her vest say please do not pet, I'm working? Yup! But they don't care  and its really difficult because she has a job to do and instead she is being harassed. Thankfully, she doesn't bite anyone because she is well trained.


----------



## lil_fuzzy (Aug 16, 2010)

missk4012 said:


> I wish more people in my area could figure this out. My well-behaved dog gets to run out ahead of me off-leash. He will go up and sniff people he is okay with and keep his distance from those he is suspicious of. I have no problem coming up on him and finding someone petting him. I do have a problem catching up and finding someone trying to pursue him while he's clearly backing away and uncomfortable. Then they always make some snide remark about how my dog is bad and should be on a leash with the other dog - because he's growling at them - he wouldn't be growling if they left him alone.


I would never let my dog run ahead of me and walk up to strangers, no matter how friendly. What if the stranger is allergic or has some dog phobia? Your dog might be fine, but it's not really fair to other people to let your unsupervised dog run up to them as it pleases.


----------



## KBLover (Sep 9, 2008)

missk4012 said:


> I wish more people in my area could figure this out. My well-behaved dog gets to run out ahead of me off-leash. He will go up and sniff people he is okay with and keep his distance from those he is suspicious of. I have no problem coming up on him and finding someone petting him. I do have a problem catching up and finding someone trying to pursue him while he's clearly backing away and uncomfortable. Then they always make some snide remark about how my dog is bad and should be on a leash with the other dog - because he's growling at them - he wouldn't be growling if they left him alone.



And if he stayed in position/near you, he wouldn't have to growl at someone he's not comfortable with. 

What if that person decided to hurt your dog (most people don't understand...or care...about a dog's communications and why...they just see dog growling)? Why should he be put in position to have to back away from someone, putting him in an uncomfortable (and possibly harmful) position?

I have no problem with off-leash walking. I often walk Wally off-leash. He's to stay in heel position unless I send him out to do something (like pee) or we're playing, and even then, he gets recalled/redirected if he's getting distracted, etc.

As far as the person who said they'll touch the dog just because he's coming up to them, I still wouldn't. He's not mine to decide to do whatever with. I'll talk to the dog and be nice to him/her, but not necessarily start stroking him. He's not mine to do with as I please.


----------



## GottaLuvMutts (Jun 1, 2009)

Anyone else have the opposite problem? Sometimes people ask to pet Kit, and I generally say "sure, if she behaves herself". She LOVES the attention and I trust her 100% around anyone, children included. She goes all wiggly the second she thinks she's going to get to meet someone. She wouldn't purposely hurt a child, even if they tortured her (although I'd never allow such a thing). 

What makes me hesitate, though, is that her exuberance can be a little over the top. People think they want to pet her, until they actually get close. Then she start squealing with anticipation, licking faces/hands, jumping, wagging her whole body, etc. I swear she's worse than any lab I've ever met. She probably looks a little deranged by any normal standards. As it turns out, I think her excitement ends up scaring off some folks, or at least it would if I didn't manage it by stepping on the leash and always having treats handy. Surprisingly, she's slightly calmer off leash.


----------



## CricketLoops (Apr 18, 2011)

KBLover said:


> As far as the person who said they'll touch the dog just because he's coming up to them, I still wouldn't. He's not mine to decide to do whatever with. I'll talk to the dog and be nice to him/her, but not necessarily start stroking him. He's not mine to do with as I please.


I don't take the choice away from the unfamiliar dog. He/she gets 100% control over whether or not there's a physical interaction. Every greet I do starts with several feet between me and said approaching dog. I usually crouch down and face away from the dog, reach out a hand, and talk softly to it (like "hi, puppy... wanna be friends?") If the dog doesn't approach me I give up and keep walking. If it does and it is clearly used to receiving affection from people (and giving me body language that suggests the dog wants to be pet), I'll start by stroking the least intimidating part of his body and progress from there, backing off if he ever gives me "wtf was that, stop it" body language or if he appears to just be tolerating it and doesn't ask for more if I stop. 

The difference is that I'm asking the dog if he's friendly and if I can pet him because I can't see the owner to ask those questions to... even though I'd still ask the dog after asking the owner regardless. I'm not sure what it was that I said that made you interpret my actions as though I thought I had some sort of ownership over the dog. At least, I think your post was in response to mine.


----------



## Mizuno (Jun 9, 2010)

When out at PetsMart and the like, I usually can spot the kids that are starting to draw near to the dogs and don't usually get blindsided. I can't really blame them, I have been a dog lover my entire life and love to meet new dogs. If I'm not in a rush or busy, I will make eye contact with the kid, smile, and usually wait for them to ask. If they don't ask and start to go in to pet, I move away and remind them they they should always ask before touching someone else's dog. Usually about this time a parent shows up or pipes in, "She's right, sweetie, always ask!" Annnnd we go from there. If the kids never end up asking, I just walk away. Their loss. I gave them the tools, they chose not to use them.

Deebs is my worst enemy though... she loves any and everyone, so I'm usually wrangling her excited self in so she won't maul the asking party.

Funnily enough, I don't think anyone has ever asked me if Deebs bites... not the case with my boy dogs. Though they aways ask AFTER they're already petting them. We went to a Shakespeare at the Park play this summer and brought my poodle with and the director walked up to us, offered drinks, smooshed Zuni's face and baby talked to him (which Zuni loved... the dork), then... and only then... with his face inches from Zuni's little fuzzy face, "Does he bite?" Hope not with your face so close! 

When we're out walking and people don't ask, I just continue to walk and ignore them. What would they do if I just walked up and rubbed their back then walked away? They'd be weirded the eff out, that's what. I've only told a few people no (usually the ones with bratty kids who are already reaching to pull hair, tails, and ears) and have them look offended. But the entire idea of them being offended is silly. MY dog is not communial property. YOUR kid isn't either. But for some reason it's okay for you to walk up to MY dog and touch without asking, but if I were to do that to YOUR kid (not inappropriately, lol) YOU would be freaked out and probably report me as a pedophile. Oh well,  I don't mind being the story they tell to their friend later about the rude girl who just wouldn't let Jack and Jill pet her dog.


----------



## Mizuno (Jun 9, 2010)

GottaLuvMutts said:


> Anyone else have the opposite problem?
> 
> What makes me hesitate, though, is that her exuberance can be a little over the top. People think they want to pet her, until they actually get close. Then she start squealing with anticipation, licking faces/hands, jumping, wagging her whole body, etc. I swear she's worse than any lab I've ever met. She probably looks a little deranged by any normal standards. As it turns out, I think her excitement ends up scaring off some folks, or at least it would if I didn't manage it by stepping on the leash and always having treats handy.


Deebs. All the time. Usually she ends up scaring off kids and I feel obligated to hold her still to show them she isn't crazy OR deranged like they previously thought. Sadly, even doing THIS, is much better than she was when I first got her at 8 or 9 months old. The springs for legs are still there, and so are the swipey paws ("Come hither, children!"), but they're SO MUCH BETTER than they were before. It only took three years. Only.


----------



## dagwall (Mar 17, 2011)

With in the first week I had Jubel and I was still getting to know him we were walking in the woods on some trails near my house. We ran into a small child with I assume his grandfather. The boy was excited to see a doggie and started to approach. I called out in warning that I had just adopted this dog and wasn't sure if he was good with children yet, better safe than sorry. The man then abruptly screamed at the child to stop and get back over to him right away. I felt bad for the boy getting yelled at. Turns out Jubel is fine with kids but I didn't know that at the time, the worst they have to fear is kisses which I warn about if people ask to pet him. Anyone gets their face in reach of his 95% chance they are getting kisses.


----------



## Keyray (Jun 30, 2011)

Sendiulino said:


> You can buy a lot of patches and vests out there that say "Please don't pet me -- I'm working". They are obviously for service dogs, but you can buy them easily and may just do the trick for you.


I really like this idea. I should buy a vest for my dog and get a patch made that says "Afraid of children -- Please don't pet me".

One too many times have small children and even older children come running at my dog to pet her. They think since she's small its ok. She is clearly trying to run in the opposite direction or barks out warnings, but that never slows them down. We have step between them and tell the kids a few times that she does not want to be petted or hope the parent catches up to correct their kids. My neighborhood has a lot of free roaming kids. Some are smart...others not so much.

A vest would definately at least give the parents a heads up that shes scared and not just mean. Some kids who end up getting barked at run to their mommy and daddy screaming shes a mean dog, but the parents usually understand thats she's just terrified.


----------



## lisahi (Jun 19, 2011)

My puppy won't harm people, but with kids I'm worried about them scaring her. She's small and they're not always gentle. I've gotten to the point where I have to pick her up and body block kids from trying to pet/harrass her.


----------



## Sighthounds4me (Nov 7, 2010)

Sparrow said:


> Does anyone have a good resource for the 'no petting' or 'dog at work' vests?? I've got a new dog & just discovered my old standby doesn't carry them anymore.


How about something like this:

http://www.workingservicedog.com/id_jacket_cape.aspx

It looks nice, not terribly bulky, and has a variety of patch choices.

This one is nice, too...

http://www.workingservicedog.com/Mesh_Cape_Vest.aspx

You could also do a collar:

http://www.workingservicedog.com/Embroidered_Patch_Collar.aspx

None are very expensive.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

lil_fuzzy said:


> I would never let my dog run ahead of me and walk up to strangers, no matter how friendly. What if the stranger is allergic or has some dog phobia? Your dog might be fine, but it's not really fair to other people to let your unsupervised dog run up to them as it pleases.


But ... Its ok for ppl (esp bratty kids & their stupid parents) to do the same to my dog? No I would say ppl wouldn't like it, but also I would be willing to bet that those same ppl would approach a dog in much the same manner they were approached BY this dog.


----------



## ThoseWordsAtBest (Mar 18, 2009)

I guess my dogs have hardened me, so I don't mind body blocking, using a really firm voice, and plain crossing the street and walking away. Every one who asks can pet Smalls, Jack, and Shambles. Sometimes I will even allow it when people don't ask because Smalls and Shambles are good and they love the attention and I don't want to punish a love opportunity because someone didn't say "Can I pet your dog?" when my dog was walking towards their embrace. However, Magpie is NOT OK with kids, and Jonas is not OK with being pet in general. Neither have bitten, and I'd like to keep it that way because I enjoy having them.


----------



## Polywoggy (Mar 7, 2011)

Didn't someone on this forum tell people that their dog had herpes to keep people away? :laugh:

After leaving Willow's posse of kids she used to play with and moving to the city, I would intentionally walk her at the time of day when kids were walking home from school. She loves kids, and if it were up to her I would have had a dozen of my own that she could have as siblings. Most kids were good about asking if they could pet her first, if they didn't I would tell them that although Willow is very safe to pet, that not all dogs are, and that they should remember to ask first. Young kids that ran ahead of their parents to pet her, I would have them wait until their parent caught up to us and then ask if they could pet her. I figure the courtesy should go both ways.

I tell kids that Jack is safe to pet, but not to try to hug or kiss him.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

I dont let anyone pet my dogs & I try when Im out I try to project a certain non approachable persona so ppl dont usually ask me, I do have the occasional prob with kids running up & startling my dogs when I have been out with them. Josefina just thinks its a big game lol... But I still dont allow it. Izze would bite for sure so I always keep a look out when I have her & I have I intercepted more he then I can count if I have to walk away, I do. If I have to body block, I do. Then I usually tell the parents off.


----------



## CricketLoops (Apr 18, 2011)

dogdragoness said:


> But ... Its ok for ppl (esp bratty kids & their stupid parents) to do the same to my dog? No I would say ppl wouldn't like it, but also I would be willing to bet that those same ppl would approach a dog in much the same manner they were approached BY this dog.


I don't think anyone has said that that greeting of dogs by children and parents is acceptable, and I've never really believed that there's merit in the "Well, THEY do that wrong/rude/dangerous thing, so I can too!" argument when you think about it. Personally, I don't think dogs should be allowed to run up to strangers and I don't think strangers (especially kids) should be allowed to run up to dogs. Realistically, why would the people who don't like being approached by strange dogs be the ones that are running up to and rudely interacting with other people's dogs? That makes 0 sense to me. If you're afraid of dogs or allergic to dogs or you just don't like dogs, you're not going to try to pet other people's dogs.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Im not saying that either action begets the other, im just saying that there is a double standard, that's all.


----------



## Daenerys (Jul 30, 2011)

dogdragoness said:


> Im not saying that either action begets the other, im just saying that there is a double standard, that's all.


I don't think there is any double standard....I think there is a "everyone needs to respect everyone else's space" standard.


----------



## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

I suppose people can go on letting their human-reactive dogs run unleashed ahead of them if they want to, as long as they're not surprised if the dog ever does feel cornered, bites someone and gets into big trouble. Because an unleashed dog biting someone on public property _will_ get into big trouble.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

That's what im saying, ppl who have human reactive dogs shouldn't let them run amok, just as parents with wild kids shouldn't either... But they to & society "looks the other way" but if an "unruly" dog (who in most cases is just being a dog) does the sake thing they are KILLED essentially, that's all I was getting at. Im not saying that either are right in their actions OR have a right to affect or bother others. Ppl like that ruin it for everyone on BOTH sides. That's what I was getting at.


----------



## KBLover (Sep 9, 2008)

dogdragoness said:


> I dont let anyone pet my dogs & I try when Im out I try to project a certain non approachable persona so ppl dont usually ask me, I do have the occasional prob with kids running up & startling my dogs when I have been out with them.


It's even worse when the dog you're walking is a frizzy, small, white, fluff ball with a coat that seems to scream "TOUCH ME" to every kid under 8...


----------



## KBLover (Sep 9, 2008)

Daenerys said:


> I don't think there is any double standard....I think there is a "everyone needs to respect everyone else's space" standard.


There is a double standard.

Humans "should be able" to go up to any dog, disrespect the dog's signals and touch the dog even without speaking to the owner. And if the dog bites, it's the owner's fault, nevermind that the other person invaded the dog+human's space uninvited, and but for that action, the person would not have been bitten.

Everyone should respect everyone's space. That's the ideal world. 

Reality - humans can invade dogs and heaven help the dog that *dares* say "back the **** off, human, I don't know you."


----------



## Jenn~n~Luke (Aug 20, 2010)

KBLover said:


> There is a double standard.
> 
> Humans "should be able" to go up to any dog, disrespect the dog's signals and touch the dog even without speaking to the owner. And if the dog bites, it's the owner's fault, nevermind that the other person invaded the dog+human's space uninvited, and but for that action, the person would not have been bitten.
> 
> ...


Exactly!
By the way..is that Jem in your avatar?


----------



## lil_fuzzy (Aug 16, 2010)

dogdragoness said:


> But ... Its ok for ppl (esp bratty kids & their stupid parents) to do the same to my dog? No I would say ppl wouldn't like it, but also I would be willing to bet that those same ppl would approach a dog in much the same manner they were approached BY this dog.


No, that's not ok either, but just because people do it with their kids doesn't make it ok to let your dog do the same thing.


----------



## KBLover (Sep 9, 2008)

Jenn~n~Luke said:


> Exactly!
> By the way..is that Jem in your avatar?


Raya. 

But yeah, it's from Jem and the Holograms.

Yes. A guy that liked/likes Jem. You may taunt me now.


----------



## Jenn~n~Luke (Aug 20, 2010)

I will not! I loved that show when I was a kid. I actually looked it up on youtube last year and was shocked to remember some of the episodes.


----------



## Daenerys (Jul 30, 2011)

KBLover said:


> There is a double standard.
> 
> Humans "should be able" to go up to any dog, disrespect the dog's signals and touch the dog even without speaking to the owner. And if the dog bites, it's the owner's fault, nevermind that the other person invaded the dog+human's space uninvited, and but for that action, the person would not have been bitten.
> 
> ...


Ahh, see, I thought she was talking about something else, like the fact that people can walk up to other peoples dogs but dogs cant walk up to other people.


----------



## dantero (Feb 2, 2011)

I have no problem telling people "no" who ask to pet the dogs, and stopping people who don't ask from petting them. Are my dogs friendly? Some of them are, the rest are socially neutral. You won't get bit if you pet them, but they won't respond to you either, frankly unless you have something they want, a treat, toy, etc you just don't exist in their world.

But when I'm out for a walk/hike, at the pet store, at the park, etc unless I know you, or there is something about your body language I am comfortable with, you aren't going to pet my dogs. Because frankly, I don't trust you (generic you). It's not about whether I trust my dogs, but my dogs don't exist so strangers can pet them, or pull their tail, or thump them on the head, or otherwise use my dogs for their personal enjoyment. 

Doesn't mean they don't go into social settings, I have taken them a number of times to the big Eukanuba dog show for meet the breed, and other breed education situations. At those, yes, you may pet the dog, that is why they are here. So you can interact with them and learn about the breed. But other times, no.

And for the OP who is worried it might be rude, it's not. The people who think they have some sort of right to your dog(s) are the ones being rude, you telling them "no" is simply exercising your own rights, and there is nothing rude about that.


----------



## katielou (Apr 29, 2010)

I am the mean SOB that *will* let you know that you are not going to pet my dog.


----------



## Polywoggy (Mar 7, 2011)

But I really do want to pet Abe 
He's so bloody gorgeous, if I saw him, I'd definitely ask, but if you say no- no means no.


----------



## katielou (Apr 29, 2010)

Polywoggy said:


> But I really do want to pet Abe
> He's so bloody gorgeous, if I saw him, I'd definitely ask, but if you say no- no means no.


I'd let you don't worry


----------



## Sparrow (Jul 17, 2011)

THANK YOU. I'd lost the address to the site & couldn't find it. I appreciate you sharing the links.


----------



## Polywoggy (Mar 7, 2011)

If I ever make it to the west coast, look out for me!


----------



## ThoseWordsAtBest (Mar 18, 2009)

katielou said:


> I am the mean SOB that *will* let you know that you are not going to pet my dog.


Sing it, sister. Some butthole ran across the road at us and said "I HAVE to pet your dogs." and I body blocked and said "Well, I hope it isn't because you're going to die otherwise because you're not petting MY dogs." and walked away.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

katielou said:


> I'd let you don't worry


I totally love Abe!!!! I think there is some chance that him & Josefina might have a distant relative, as I see some similarities  .


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

dantero said:


> I have no problem telling people "no" who ask to pet the dogs, and stopping people who don't ask from petting them. Are my dogs friendly? Some of them are, the rest are socially neutral. You won't get bit if you pet them, but they won't respond to you either, frankly unless you have something they want, a treat, toy, etc you just don't exist in their world.
> 
> But when I'm out for a walk/hike, at the pet store, at the park, etc unless I know you, or there is something about your body language I am comfortable with, you aren't going to pet my dogs. Because frankly, I don't trust you (generic you). It's not about whether I trust my dogs, but my dogs don't exist so strangers can pet them, or pull their tail, or thump them on the head, or otherwise use my dogs for their personal enjoyment.
> 
> ...


I would just be happy with seeing your dogs in person, dantero. I dont have o pet them... That is if you are ok with a little staring on my part... I love mals


----------



## Tofu_pup (Dec 8, 2008)

dogdragoness said:


> I would just be happy with seeing your dogs in person, dantero. I dont have o pet them... That is if you are ok with a little staring on my part... I love mals


Seriously. I've done more than my fair share of gawking. There's a raging argument in my head on whether or not to say hi and fuss over X breed. In the end, I just look awkward and kind of special. I've had a few slow mo bike crashes doing this...


----------



## dantero (Feb 2, 2011)

dogdragoness said:


> I would just be happy with seeing your dogs in person, dantero. I dont have o pet them... That is if you are ok with a little staring on my part... I love mals


And I'd be happy to let you interact with them  It's different when people come to the house to meet the dogs, we meet at an event, they are actually breed savy, etc. Those are the people who are either there specifically to meet the dogs, or I trust are dog savy enough to not do something inappropriate (yank a tail, poke an eye, etc). 

I'm just not willing to take chances with the general public at large, because frankly if they do something stupid, and my dogs react poorly, even if they just got jumped on and scratched by a toenail, it's my dogs that are in danger. I don't mind educating a child on the right way to approach a dog, if I have the time and I feel the child will actually learn something, ie they are doing it wrong out of ignorance not malice, but interactions with my dogs are on my terms, nobody elses.

I also have a "special situation" which most people on this forum probably don't deal with. But the reality is, if one of my dogs does something wrong, even if it's just a toenail scratch, it would take some sue happy lawyer about 2 seconds to find photos and videos they could use to try to convince a jury my dogs are vicious killers and a danger to the public. I'm very aware of this, and take steps to make sure that's just not ever going to happen.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Dantero>> no I definitely dont have that kind of situation to that extreme, tho I imagine everyone "could" have a situation like that I suppose, any one can come in contact by chance with "that" one person who is crazy


----------



## Sparrow (Jul 17, 2011)

Dantero, I'm of similar mindset. Too much can go wrong & I know everyone will assume the dog I'm handling is trained for certain work. Someone falls over when my dog sneezes & they'll be lawyered up before I blink. I don't even let photos or video be taken of my personal dogs & that's for a reason. Just too many crazy people looking to get rich. 

My parents had to be very careful for years when they first moved here because if livestock were killed by dogs/coyotes, everyone blamed our Dobermanns. Finally the local sherriff gathered the neighbors up & brought them over to our house. They couldn't find a dog on the place. While they were blaming our dogs... we were all off down south visiting family. Back then things were different, the man with the badge said he'd better not get another bogus call on our dogs. While we were visiting the grandparents they caught 2 black labs & someone's shepherd killing sheep. Two years down the road every time someone had a house broken into or needed help rounding up livestock... our phone would ring for help


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Funny how the shoe is on the other foot when someone needs your services (rolls eyes ). Ppl never cease to amaze me.


----------



## iheartmarcus (Jul 27, 2011)

I love the responses that you guys give to rude people who just charge up! Haha.

But has anyone had a similar problem of people harassing your dog(s) without touching? Quite a few time, I've had children AND adults walk by or towards my dog while barking at him! Marcus is very well-socialized and doesn't have a problem with meeting all sorts of people or being petted; he's a little too happy to meet people, thus I tell people to wait to pet so I can get him to approach calmly. But when people start barking at him out of the blue (especially by those deeper male voices), he gets super alarmed and starts growling and then eventually barking. I would ask for people to kindly stop doing that or I would move away, but they'll keep doing it louder or they'll follow and keep barking, thinking it's pretty funny. How is that ok????


----------



## katielou (Apr 29, 2010)

iheartmarcus said:


> I love the responses that you guys give to rude people who just charge up! Haha.
> 
> But has anyone had a similar problem of people harassing your dog(s) without touching? Quite a few time, I've had children AND adults walk by or towards my dog while barking at him! Marcus is very well-socialized and doesn't have a problem with meeting all sorts of people or being petted; he's a little too happy to meet people, thus I tell people to wait to pet so I can get him to approach calmly. But when people start barking at him out of the blue (especially by those deeper male voices), he gets super alarmed and starts growling and then eventually barking. I would ask for people to kindly stop doing that or I would move away, but they'll keep doing it louder or they'll follow and keep barking, thinking it's pretty funny. How is that ok????


Thats where the one finger salute comes in 

No seriously i would just take it as an opportunity to train your dog some more. That or pull out the bear spray


----------



## iheartmarcus (Jul 27, 2011)

katielou said:


> Thats where the one finger salute comes in
> 
> No seriously i would just take it as an opportunity to train your dog some more. That or pull out the bear spray


I choose bear spray!! haha. But you are absoutely right, I click and treat like crazy if Marcus stays quiet and calm throughout all that harassment. But even if Marcus becomes desensitized to it later, it's still quite an annoying thing for ME to listen to! RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF all up in my face or whatnot. BEAR SPRAY WITH ONE FINGER SALUTE!


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

iheartmarcus said:


> I love the responses that you guys give to rude people who just charge up! Haha.
> 
> But has anyone had a similar problem of people harassing your dog(s) without touching? Quite a few time, I've had children AND adults walk by or towards my dog while barking at him! Marcus is very well-socialized and doesn't have a problem with meeting all sorts of people or being petted; he's a little too happy to meet people, thus I tell people to wait to pet so I can get him to approach calmly. But when people start barking at him out of the blue (especially by those deeper male voices), he gets super alarmed and starts growling and then eventually barking. I would ask for people to kindly stop doing that or I would move away, but they'll keep doing it louder or they'll follow and keep barking, thinking it's pretty funny. How is that ok????


I know im going to totally get hazed for being immature but its eye for an eye when it comes to my dogs, I have had that happen, I startle them back lol... I know that's terrible, but it works to get them to stop... That & Izze's barking back at them


----------



## Daenerys (Jul 30, 2011)

iheartmarcus said:


> I love the responses that you guys give to rude people who just charge up! Haha.
> 
> But has anyone had a similar problem of people harassing your dog(s) without touching? Quite a few time, I've had children AND adults walk by or towards my dog while barking at him! Marcus is very well-socialized and doesn't have a problem with meeting all sorts of people or being petted; he's a little too happy to meet people, thus I tell people to wait to pet so I can get him to approach calmly. But when people start barking at him out of the blue (especially by those deeper male voices), he gets super alarmed and starts growling and then eventually barking. I would ask for people to kindly stop doing that or I would move away, but they'll keep doing it louder or they'll follow and keep barking, thinking it's pretty funny. How is that ok????


I had someone doing that to me and Faolan this week. I know the guy, though, and respect him in other areas of life, so I would have felt really awkward to say anything to him. He was barking at Faolan and he even got down on all fours >_>


----------



## dagwall (Mar 17, 2011)

Wow, that's pretty messed up. People barking at your dog, not stopping when they see it upsets the dog, and proceeding to follow you around to continue upseting the dog. Very glad I've never been in a similar situation, granted I doubt it would bother Jubel, maybe just confuse him a bit. There are some really mess up people out there.


----------



## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

People LOVE to bark at small dogs too. I've had that one happen a lot. 

I have an unfriendly small dog which is a pain sometimes. I've had people run up and just scoop her up and cuddle her near their face too before. I just wonder what the heck people are thinking sometimes.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Daenerys said:


> I had someone doing that to me and Faolan this week. I know the guy, though, and respect him in other areas of life, so I would have felt really awkward to say anything to him. He was barking at Faolan and he even got down on all fours >_>


A grown person did this? I hope there was a legit reason, the person I lived next door to used to lean over the fence & bark back at my dogs & ask them how they liked it... , but she had dementia, so her behavior was excused, I just called my dogs in when she was out in her yard out of respect for her... Poor lady


----------



## Daenerys (Jul 30, 2011)

Yes, a grown man. But he is the really goofy "still a kid inside" kind of grown man, lol.


----------



## Tofu_pup (Dec 8, 2008)

Every junkie in the ciy feels the need to bark at my dogs. Most of the time they ignore it unless somebody is being very confrontational with their body language. That doesn't go over so well. And I really don't care how the dogs feel about it because it pisses ME off. Like, really? Grow up.


----------



## Trillian (Jan 17, 2011)

We used to have somebody who would lean over our fence and bark before we got Taz. But when you have a 67 pound mutt lunging at your face and trying to eat you...you stop that real quick. I know who it is too, the druggies from down the street just LOVE going after and bothering dogs. Now we have a taller fence so it's not any issue, but peoples disrespect for other peoples' animals. I'm not beyond pulling my dogs away from people. They often get offended but I really don't care. Cain gets to excited and it's a real possibility that he might mouth on wild, hyper children. So they aren't allowed to pet him if they are too excited. Tazzerin is ok with everyone, and so is Jetta, but I'm still not going to expose them to disrespectful illmannered people. Should they be able to put up with it and deal with it? yes. Should they HAVE to deal with it? No.


----------



## dagwall (Mar 17, 2011)

Yeah I've had people think it's funny to bark at my dog or dogs in general at the dog park but never to the extent that they see it agitates the dog and continued. Hell I 'bark' back at Jubel sometimes when he's being a brat, doesn't bother him and sometimes encourages him to keep it up. I only bark back at him accepting he's going to continue barking and it's more of a game between us, any attention is good attention to him usually.

If someone was upsetting him in any way and continued to do so knowingly I'd definetely have some choice words for them.


----------



## perrones (Sep 3, 2011)

I think it is understandable. Our previous dog was not okay with fast moving people or people or children holding anything larger then their hand... I little girl ran up to her holding a back scratcher and through herself on the ground in front of my dog and got a big mean bark in the face. It all happened before I could stop the girl. If it was not bright outside if she smelled or heard a man anywhere near me I instantly pulled her in because she did not trust anyone around me or her. People always assume they can it is just hard to beat them to the punch-line I think you are doing great to help keep everyone safe.


----------



## KBLover (Sep 9, 2008)

dogdragoness said:


> A grown person did this? I hope there was a legit reason, the person I lived next door to used to lean over the fence & bark back at my dogs & ask them how they liked it... , but she had dementia, so her behavior was excused, I just called my dogs in when she was out in her yard out of respect for her... Poor lady


I've gotten on all fours before to a dog that wasn't friendly. I sniffed the ground and he came up to me and sniffed me HARD. It sounded like a fan going next to my ear. Sheez, and I thought Wally sniffed hard. 

And the dog wouldn't stop. It's like...okay, you sniffed me, whatever scent I had, you done sniffed it off. 

The owner laughing - "he's mean to everyone else, but he won't stop sniffing you now"

Yes, I'm abnormal. You don't have to tell me.


----------



## UnoriginalUrka (Jul 11, 2011)

I'm going to have to use some of these responses to people! We just got Lulu in June and while I was walking her in the park I noticed a lady walking by with a shih tzu so I walked Lulu into the fenced in horseshoe pit. The lady approached me and I told her I didn't know if Lulu was good with other dogs and that I was trying to train her. She decided to block us in and I was trying to hold my 50 lb dog back from trying to eat her little dog! She then proceeded to tell me I needed to better train my dog and give her obedience classes. I told her I just adopted her less then a week prior!

I have a ton of problems with people trying to come up and pet Lulu also when we go for walks. They ask if they can pet her as she's jumping around and before I can say wait until she sits they lunge right at her. We've only met one person who made her sit before she was allowed to be greeted. (I loved that person!) I'm trying to break her of the bad habit of jumping at new people and some people don't listen! I also hate repeating myself when they ask what type of dog she is. "Catahoula and boxer mix" Oh, what's that? Then having to explain what a Catahoula is.


----------



## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Trillian said:


> We used to have somebody who would lean over our fence and bark before we got Taz. But when you have a 67 pound mutt lunging at your face and trying to eat you...you stop that real quick. I know who it is too, the druggies from down the street just LOVE going after and bothering dogs. Now we have a taller fence so it's not any issue, but peoples disrespect for other peoples' animals. I'm not beyond pulling my dogs away from people. They often get offended but I really don't care. Cain gets to excited and it's a real possibility that he might mouth on wild, hyper children. So they aren't allowed to pet him if they are too excited. Tazzerin is ok with everyone, and so is Jetta, but I'm still not going to expose them to disrespectful illmannered people. Should they be able to put up with it and deal with it? yes. Should they HAVE to deal with it? No.


Something like this happened to my aunt when she had Roxy, her APBT. She was on tie out (dont remember why, I was very young, but I think it had something to do with the fence) & someone (I assume it was someone not in their right mind) started shaking the fence & barking back at her when he heard her bark, he stopped real quick when she CLEARED the six ft privacy fence to get at him & got hung . Luckily someone was home to witness what happened & rescue her before she strangled. Needless to say the fence was fixed & she was never tied again . But I bet that guy needed a change of undies after that .

I seen ppl Ty to do that do my dogs when I used to take Izze with me a lot, most were stupid "punks" (what I call adolescents/teens) I did catch a group teasing her at my truck when I came out of the bank one day, these guys were weird, they didn't even take off when they saw me coming. They were real ass hats, they said a few snide comments that i dont remember as i opened the door to get in, instead i took hold of Izze's collar & brought her out of the truck. They suddenly looked very scared, i gave her the silent command to bark (touching her flank). I told them i saw what they were doing thru the window of the bank, then i asked if they wanted to tease her NOW. They quickly got out of there.


----------



## Tofu_pup (Dec 8, 2008)

UnoriginalUrka said:


> I also hate repeating myself when they ask what type of dog she is. "Catahoula and boxer mix" Oh, what's that? Then having to explain what a Catahoula is.


I feel your pain. Even my roommate goes around telling people that Kaki is a "cataloula mix".
Or when people take the leopard part literally... Yea, some crazy folks down in the bayou decided to breed a leopard and a dog to see what would happen.


----------



## wil.wish (Sep 6, 2011)

My dog was people-reactive for awhile when he was younger. I took to stepping between him and an approaching person, because sometimes people will do the equivalent of opening a door while they knock, instead of waiting for a response. I didn't want anyone to come up missing fingers. I had only one person try the, "it's OK, dogs love me" tactic, and I told him to back off immediately. He was a little put off, but better that than a trip to the hospital in a vain attempt to cure his stupidity.


----------

