# Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?



## Chantae (Feb 10, 2011)

*Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I keep hearing/reading people say, "we can't keep our dog any more because we just had a baby..." So??? I don't get why they would have to give the dog away??? It's not like you would give your first born away because you had a second child?

What's the logic behind this? The dog will hurt the baby? Even if this is the case, the dogs are always advertised as "sweet & loving."

I don't get it!


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Babies are hideously time-consuming, and you're constantly exhausted. I can see how an active dog could put someone over the top, and I can also see it being a sleep-deprivation-fueled impulsive decision. And sometimes it's a knee-jerk thing because some people do believe that you "have to" get rid of your pets when you have a baby. 

If they take care to find the dog a great new home I don't get overly worked up over it. It's when they run out and get a new puppy a few months later that I really get annoyed. . .


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## JessCowgirl88 (Mar 15, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I have known some people who have given away dogs becuase the child was very allergic to the hair, and some i have heard becasue they dog was not friendly with children. I think if they are getting rid of the dog because the know its not friendly with children/babies, they should advertise it with such. I am a stickler on putting the truth on things such as animals personalities. When i had my son, we didnt get rid of our dogs, but they were very friendly.

i guess to each their own, i could see if they had a good reason.

It is tiring taking care of a infant and trying to to do everything else, from takign care of your animals, giving them time, and anythign else you might have to do. With lack of sleep and everything else and can really wear you down. I know this from experiance. i got lucky and had alot of help, others dont. I would rather the person relize they just dont have the time to give the dog/animal the attention it needs and find them a good home then just keeping them and they dont.


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## thirdgenlxi (Mar 15, 2008)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Just a lame cop out excuse as I see it, for "I'm lazy and don't want to take care of both of them"


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## ThoseWordsAtBest (Mar 18, 2009)

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I think giving up dogs for a lot of reasons are ridiculous, but at the same time, clearly that person doesn't want that dog and will likely not give them the time and care they need. Why would I want the dog to stay in that situation?


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## jersey_gray (Dec 8, 2011)

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Babies take nearly all your time. I have a three and a half year old and a six month old-my animals do not get nearly the attention they got before the babies came. While I did not get rid of any of my pets I am sympathetic to overwhelmed new mothers. I have three dogs and four cats, one of the cats is outside now as he started spraying after we moved here. You could argue that I should have tried to re-home him to someone who would have worked on fixing his behaviour rather than thrown him outside (the cat was altered as a young kitten, I believe the baby followed by moving triggered the spraying). You could argue it was selfish of me keeping all the pets when I literally did not have the time for them. They are just now starting to get some of the attention that they used to get a lot of.


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## abigail1989 (Nov 22, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow I would be in very hot water. Two dogs in an apartment has already nearly brought me to the brink of insanity. I would have to a) be moved into a place with a yard b) be given tremendous support with both dogs and baby by my partner and c) pray Josie does a lot of growing up in the impending 9 months. If those expectations couldn't be met, she would most likely be re homed. Luckily, I have no plans for a baby for a good 8 years!


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## Goldens&Labs4Me (Jan 18, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Would it be a valid reason for me? No.

We have a 2 1/2 year old son--and 3 dogs. Giving up our dogs was/has never been an option for us just because we had a child. 

However, I will say that my dogs didn't get as much attention when he was first born as they were used to. In a way, I'm grateful we have a fenced in backyard because had they all been in the house, I can see where that would have been overwhelming. It was nice to be able to let them out to hang out and soak up the sunshine without having to worry about them. We were concerned about our Lab at first--and she was overly interested in him--so it was also good for me to be able to do lots of small interactions with the two of them and then a safe place for her to go during the breaks.

I also had a really rough end of pregnancy/delivery--and was very sick afterwards. I couldn't even walk my smallest dog by myself for weeks after. 

So while I understand how it could be overwhelming--I guess I can just be grateful that our situation worked out and my dogs are adaptable.

Now, my 2 1/2 year old is actually very helpful with the dogs. He loves letting them out of their crates, feeding them and brushing them. And when people ask me about a sibling for him--I tell him he has 3 and they all play very well together. LOL.


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## JulieK1967 (May 29, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



thirdgenlxi said:


> Just a lame cop out excuse as I see it, for "I'm lazy and don't want to take care of both of them"


Exactly my thoughts.


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## Canaqua (Sep 27, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Not in most cases. Uncontrollable dog allergies would be about the only reason for me. When my youngest was born, we had a VERY high energy and somewhat aggressive ACD mix (we still have her, 10 years later, but she's old and much more mellow now). It never occurred to me to get rid of the dog and she's not particularly good with children. It's a management issue. I plopped baby in the stroller and took he and the dog for a couple of long walks (and later runs, when I recovered fully from the section) a day...good for all of us (especially me, trying to lose that extra weight!). I NEVER, EVER left the dog alone with my son when he was young. I put up baby gates to keep them apart if I was very busy. One or the other had to be in the same room I was in at all times. We had controlled and planned interactions with me right on the floor with them. He's old enough now to understand how to treat her and she's old enough now that she's much more laid back . He walks her quite a bit now.


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## Canaqua (Sep 27, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



thirdgenlxi said:


> Just a lame cop out excuse as I see it, for "I'm lazy and don't want to take care of both of them"


Yeah, in addition I think some people are overly paranoid about dirt, germs and allergies. Based on studies, though, you are doing your child a favor by brining them into a home with animals...stronger and not over reactive immune systems. Babies raised in a home with two or more inside pets are less like to have allergies of any kind, not just animal allergies. Worked for us...I have a number of allergies, but my kids have none.


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## kathylcsw (Jul 4, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I was a single parent for my son and 36 years old with a dog, a cat, and a high pressure job. It NEVER crossed my mind to get rid of my dog! It was hard doing it all alone and sometimes I literally cried because of the exhaustion but we all survived those early years! I loved my dog and cat and they were as much family to me as my son. They may have gotten a little less attention for the first year or so but they were loved and they knew that. My dog, Heidi, was so attached to me that I am certain she would never have adjusted to a new home. I feel that when you bring an animal into your home you are entering into a "until death do us part" relationship.


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## Canaqua (Sep 27, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I was on bedrest for four months before I delivered slightly early...having that dog (and a cat) to keep me company all day was a real blessing!

Cats. I like cats too and have always had at least one. Even today, some doctors will tell pregnant women to get rid of their indoor cats, due to the risk of toxoplasmosis. Mine was more enlightened, he just said have someone else change the litter box and don't work in the garden without gloves. Easy enough. I actually asked them to test me for toxo antibodies, since I'd worked at a vet's for years, chances were good I'd been infected in the past. I had been, the type of antibody showed that I'd had an infection in the past, but not a current one. I was then allowed to change the litter box while pregnant, because I could not become infected again (yipeee! Not ). Shouldn't have told my husband about the test results! But, it did ease my mind, knowing that I didn't have to go crazy washing hands after handling the cats.


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## BassetMixUp (Dec 14, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I didn't have any animals before having kids because I was somewhat aware of how insanely difficult life is with a newborn - toddler. I say somewhat because NO ONE actually *knows* until they have a baby themselves.

I applaud all the families who make it work and those who decide to rehome their animals to a loving home instead of neglecting them.

Do I think all the dogs being given away because of a new baby are _actually _people having babies? Heck no. It's an excuse potential adopters might have compassion for so tons of lazy people that are just "done" with their dogs use that excuse when most of the time it just isn't true.


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## osdbmom (Feb 15, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I never had dogs or any animals when I was pregnant or had little ones. Looking back...if I had, I may have had to rehome them, bc I had horrible pregnancies, the last two, I was home on bedrest wtih a PICC line and couldnt even eat or stand up for most of the pregnancies, the last one, I had to move in with my mom for a long while bc I couldnt even take care of my kids and my husband worked 3rd shift. There is no way I could have properly cared for an animal at that time....but then again, thats prolly why I didnt have any! lol 
Or maybe, if you had an infant who had a serious illness.
But, I really think that the majority of the time you see this, its a new mom (prolly a first time mom) who is overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and possibly having some baby blues/post partum depression. Also, LOTS of older people who give "helpful" advice to new, unsure moms will tell them they have to get rid of their pets, esp cats. My mom is a firm believer that cats want to kill babies bc they smell like milk (????) 
the sad thing is, I very often see posts on our local Craigslist that say soemthing to the effect of "last year I gave away my beloved dog/cat when I had a baby....I miss her/him so much and just want to know they are ok, please email me, I wish I hadnt made that mistake". 
I think in many situations, people make permanent decisions to temporary problems.


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## Charis (Jul 12, 2009)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

We do not have children yet - however we are planning - and our dogs are staying in the picture. We are looking at cars for the future (ones that easily fit car seats - mine does not) and we are looking at hatchbacks/SUVs because I need to fit multiple car seats and have a place to put the dogs so they don't meet while I can't reach everyone. We are planning on baby gates (the nursery will be strictly off limits) and the dog and infant are never going to be alone in a room together where they can reach each other. We intend to put "tie downs" around the room to secure the dog to if we must step out and the baby is in a play pen (soft sides). We intend to start playing baby noises (and gradually increasing the volume) and carrying around a baby doll when we find out we a re pregnant (so the dogs can learn how to interact with us while we are carrying an infant) and get baby items early so the dogs are used to everything being moved around.
Management, management, management and I will admit I do see people as "lazy" who are unwilling to even try managing it. We are even putting aside "dog money" in the baby fund so we can board them the first few weeks of having the baby home and put them in daycare if we are too exhausted to walk. We intend to care for them even if it includes hiring other people to do so temporarily. 

The only circumstances we would consider rehoming is illness that will keep us from caring for them long term. I mean months living in a hospital kinda illness (congenital heart defects, etc) before we would even consider it and even then we would try to make it temporary (rehome on short term basis to someone we knew). 
I won't say I would never rehome (never say never) however it would have to be extraordinary circumstances and I would try everything I could to avoid it.


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## Spicy1_VV (Jun 1, 2007)

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Hell no. I went through my pregnancies with my dogs. It's extra work with a newborn but not really that bad. I also want my children to grow up around them and have the same love for them. I took care of multiple dogs doing and after pregnancy. The 1st time around I had virtually no helpn I took primary care of my son and for the majority of the day I took care of dogs like letting them out, feeding them and attending to a litter of pups. Without neglecting my newborn. Of course I was more tired then usual from waking up all through the night. But it wasn't such an overwhelming or impossible feat.


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## Canaqua (Sep 27, 2011)

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There aren't that many station wagons on the market, but they are my first choice for kids + dogs if I don't need the high ground clearance or towing capacity of an SUV (which I don't). They handle like a car, get the gas mileage of a car, yet have that "way back" for dogs to ride in when the passenger compartment is full and I need to separate them from small children. I've got those metal grates on my wagons, that separate the back from the passenger area, they are very easy to install and keep the dogs safely in the back. Hatchbacks don't work as well because the slanted back gate doesn't have enough head room for any but the smallest dogs.


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## Red Fraggle (Nov 23, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I don't think "We had a baby." is enough reason to rehome a dog all by itself. I do understand that a baby can bring about unforeseeable circumstances that could cause one to have to rehome a dog. 

I've been hesitant to bring this up around here, but I will admit I had to rehome a dog when I was pregnant with my first son. He wan unplanned and I tried everything I could to get into a situation that would be appropriate for both baby and dog and the cards were stacked against me. When I was about 5month pregnant, I made the decision to move back to my hometown for family support and was told by my Mom that I could stay with her while I looked for an apartment, but I would have only 3 days to find a place for my dog, or I would have to hand her over to a shelter. Knowing the rental market in my hometown would make it almost impossible to find a place that would allow pets within my budget and being out of touch with friends in my hometown that might be able to take my dog, I made the heartbreaking decision to leave her in Quebec with my brother, who promised to take as much time as needed to find her a good home. I was essentially facing the decision of choosing between my dog and my baby because if I had not given her up, I would have been homeless with a dog and handing my baby over to foster care. It's the hardest decision I've ever made because up until that day, my dog WAS my baby.

As it turned out, my son was a sick kid. He has mitochondrial disease and at about 18 months was diagnosed with Leigh's syndrome and we were told we'd be lucky to see his 2nd birthday. With years of being in and out of the hospital, my dog would probably have ended up neglected or having to be rehomed in the end anyways. I waited until this year (almost 10 years later) to adopt an other dog because I wanted to be sure I had a plan. I wanted the finances, a stable living situation that allows dogs, I wanted an emergency backup care plan for the dog and I have all that now. I'm the type of person that doesn't function well without a dog. I NEED a dog and I wanted my kids to have one too. It broke my heart having to give up that dog and I've regretted it every day since, even knowing that I didn't really have a choice.


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## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

It really depends on the circumstances I think. In most cases, I think it's BS, and I would never rehome my dogs as a result of having kids. But I know one couple who had a dog that adored them and adults but did NOT like children. I don't know what had happened in this dog's life prior to finding this couple, but holy hell was it TERRIFIED to the point of aggression towards young kids. So when they found themselves unexpectedly, they didn't have a choice but to rehome him. It's not that they wanted to or were to lazy to care for a baby and a dog at the same time. It was simply the safest and best situation for everyone. Could the dog have been trained to control itself? Maybe , but in any case they already had their hands full, and with the way this poor dog was with kids, I'm willing to wager it would have taken YEARS for it to get it's act straighten out IF it ever did.


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## Goldens&Labs4Me (Jan 18, 2012)

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Red Fraggle said:


> I don't think "We had a baby." is enough reason to rehome a dog all by itself. I do understand that a baby can bring about unforeseeable circumstances that could cause one to have to rehome a dog.
> 
> I've been hesitant to bring this up around here, but I will admit I had to rehome a dog when I was pregnant with my first son. He wan unplanned and I tried everything I could to get into a situation that would be appropriate for both baby and dog and the cards were stacked against me. When I was about 5month pregnant, I made the decision to move back to my hometown for family support and was told by my Mom that I could stay with her while I looked for an apartment, but I would have only 3 days to find a place for my dog, or I would have to hand her over to a shelter. Knowing the rental market in my hometown would make it almost impossible to find a place that would allow pets within my budget and being out of touch with friends in my hometown that might be able to take my dog, I made the heartbreaking decision to leave her in Quebec with my brother, who promised to take as much time as needed to find her a good home. I was essentially facing the decision of choosing between my dog and my baby because if I had not given her up, I would have been homeless with a dog and handing my baby over to foster care. It's the hardest decision I've ever made because up until that day, my dog WAS my baby.
> 
> As it turned out, my son was a sick kid. He has mitochondrial disease and at about 18 months was diagnosed with Leigh's syndrome and we were told we'd be lucky to see his 2nd birthday. With years of being in and out of the hospital, my dog would probably have ended up neglected or having to be rehomed in the end anyways. I waited until this year (almost 10 years later) to adopt an other dog because I wanted to be sure I had a plan. I wanted the finances, a stable living situation that allows dogs, I wanted an emergency backup care plan for the dog and I have all that now. I'm the type of person that doesn't function well without a dog. I NEED a dog and I wanted my kids to have one too. It broke my heart having to give up that dog and I've regretted it every day since, even knowing that I didn't really have a choice.


I'm so sorry. (((HUGS))). I can hear the hurt in your words and I want you to know that I understand. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do, even when it's not what we want to do.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

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Canaqua said:


> Yeah, in addition I think some people are overly paranoid about dirt, germs and allergies. Based on studies, though, you are doing your child a favor by brining them into a home with animals...stronger and not over reactive immune systems. Babies raised in a home with two or more inside pets are less like to have allergies of any kind, not just animal allergies. Worked for us...I have a number of allergies, but my kids have none.


exactly, i ws raised with dogss in the house & lwhen i got older (8 yrs old) i started riding lessons, this was back when the kids had to learn every aspect of caring for a horse including cleaning the stalls.


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## Abbylynn (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

If you are going to stuff the dog away in a closet and ignore it or scream at it because you are overwhelmed ... then IMHO it is better for everyone all the way around to find it a loving home .... not the shelter though.......

And like it has been stated ... there are some circumstances beyond our control that makes it a necessity to re-home a dog.


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## pi1otguy (Jan 1, 2011)

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I think the big concern is that human babies are particularly fragile. Based on my experience with Spirit I don't think that dogs fully understand how fragile modern humans are. If I had a baby I'd have to make sure that I never place the baby on any surface within my dog's reach. While small, there's always the risk any dog may attempt use their doggie logic when a baby cries or if they sense something.


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## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

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Red Fraggle said:


> *I'm the type of person that doesn't function well without a dog. I NEED a dog* and I wanted my kids to have one too. It broke my heart having to give up that dog and I've regretted it every day since, even knowing that I didn't really have a choice.


I'm the exact same way, and while I've never had to deal with a situation like that, I could have very easily picture myself having gone through it years back before I met my husband. In an ideal world, we'd all find affordable housing that would allow us to keep both our dogs and children, and be able to happily live together as a family. But the truth is that's more a matter of luck. And luck isn't always on everyones side.


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## Canaqua (Sep 27, 2011)

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dogdragoness said:


> exactly, i ws raised with dogss in the house & lwhen i got older (8 yrs old) i started riding lessons, this was back when the kids had to learn every aspect of caring for a horse including cleaning the stalls.


I started riding at about 8 too and later owned a couple of horses. I'm allergic to no animals, but I was allergic to hay, pretty badly, but I wasn't about to give up the horses, so I suffered and had lots of Kleenexes in my pockets and cortisone cream to put on the hives. I got a series of allergy shots and they worked, by the time I was old enough to get jobs at barns, I was able to handle hay without sneezing my head off or breaking out in hives. I always wonder why more people don't try those desensitization shots, they certainly changed my life for the better, no more hay and grass allergies! Important if I insist on being around horses.


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## sassafras (Jun 22, 2010)

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thirdgenlxi said:


> Just a lame cop out excuse as I see it, for "I'm lazy and don't want to take care of both of them"


In most cases, I agree. The "well he doesn't get as much attention" thing always grates me a little, too, because... kids aren't newborns forever, and new parents aren't new parents forever. They grow, and you establish a routine and learn how to manage your time. The dog isn't going to waste away because he got a little less attention for a few months. But the whole "the rest of the world ended because I had a baby" syndrome where people don't see their friends or do ANYTHING they used to do before grates on me, too. 

Anyway, seems like "looking for an excuse" excuses... excluding extenuating/health circumstances, of course, but IMO those are the minority.


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## BassetMixUp (Dec 14, 2011)

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sassafras said:


> But the whole "the rest of the world ended because I had a baby" syndrome where people don't see their friends or do ANYTHING they used to do before grates on me, too.


This kind of thinking grates on me. Have you had a baby?


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## sassafras (Jun 22, 2010)

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BassetMixUp said:


> This kind of thinking grates on me. Have you had a baby?


Is my opinion more valid if I have?


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## Roloni (Aug 5, 2011)

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My Dogs are Members of my Family..(and No.. I dont think they are human..)
I cant imagine why someone would give away their dog because they had a child...


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## BassetMixUp (Dec 14, 2011)

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sassafras said:


> Is my opinion more valid if I have?


IMO absolutely. Because there is no way you could understand. Or I should say I'm not good enough with words to make someone understand how life turns upside down with an infant.


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## sassafras (Jun 22, 2010)

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BassetMixUp said:


> IMO absolutely. Because there is no way you could understand. Or I should say I'm not good enough with words to make someone understand how life turns upside down with an infant.


I understand how life turns upside down with an infant. I also understand that some people drop off the face of the earth while other people pretty much go on with little interruption to their lives. The former grates on me, but I'm just a terrible person. That's why the "you can only understand if you're a parent" thing grates on me, too.


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## BassetMixUp (Dec 14, 2011)

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sassafras said:


> I understand how life turns upside down with an infant. I also understand that some people drop off the face of the earth while other people pretty much go on with little interruption to their lives. The former grates on me, but I'm just a terrible person. That's why the "you can only understand if you're a parent" thing grates on me, too.


LOL, thinking that way in no way makes you a terrible person. Some parents can manage. Some can't. Some prefer to stay home snuggled up with their infants. Others are happier to find a babysitter. I'm sorry it's something that grates on you but I can understand.

A good friend of mine has the same complaint. All of her friends got married, had kids, stopped going out to the bars and she is still living in downtown Boston going to clubs. She thinks we all suck.


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

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> Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?


Considering some of the dumbass decisions I've made in my lifetime and some of my dumbass reasons for doing them, I'm not a good one to judge whether someone has a valid reason for doing something. 

But I don't find it any more puzzling than a couple who have 10-12 children together and then decide they can't live together any more. 

I myself gave up an excellent dog, who then went to live with my parents, who treated her like royalty, when I started getting serious with a woman who was dangerously allergic to dogs. 32 years later, we're still serious and have two dogs who act like wolverines on steroids. 

Sorry, not for me to judge the motives of others.


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## trainingjunkie (Feb 10, 2010)

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Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that anytime someone doesn't want their dog, for whatever reason no matter how inane, it is better for the dog to be rehomed. Unwanted animals have terrible lives. I think dogs know when they aren't wanted anymore. 

It's sad that not everyone loves dogs deeply. It's sad that people don't think decisions through. It's sad that innocent dogs pay. But in the end, dogs are property. Owners have the right to stop being owners at any time. These are not people that I would want in my life and these are not choices that reflect my personal philosphy, but everyone has a right to their life.

Thank doG there are shelters and rescues and other places that attempt to deal with the damage caused by people who change their minds.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

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Canaqua said:


> I started riding at about 8 too and later owned a couple of horses. I'm allergic to no animals, but I was allergic to hay, pretty badly, but I wasn't about to give up the horses, so I suffered and had lots of Kleenexes in my pockets and cortisone cream to put on the hives. I got a series of allergy shots and they worked, by the time I was old enough to get jobs at barns, I was able to handle hay without sneezing my head off or breaking out in hives. I always wonder why more people don't try those desensitization shots, they certainly changed my life for the better, no more hay and grass allergies! Important if I insist on being around horses.


i feel you im horridly skin allergic to hay esp alfalfa for some reason. it makes me itvvh like crazy & break out into hives as well. the shavings dust also makes me sneeze like crazy, but i love my job & i (I know its weird) love to work with my hands, i could never have an inside or office job...... eugh the thought makes me want to cringe.


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## osdbmom (Feb 15, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Bc many people, the allergy shots don't work for. I did them for years, they actually worsened my allergies. Some people have really high IGE counts and for those people, the shots can cause anaphylaxis, cause their throats to close up, asthmatic reactions. Ive also done xolair injections to try yo help me with my allergies to animals and environment, and they caused me to have a seizure. Ive used every antihistamine there is out, nothing works. It sucks.


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## Bordermom (Apr 28, 2010)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I think if the 'we had a baby' reason didn't work, they'd find something else and rehome the dog. Not the best thing in the world but it happens. Many baby books don't have a lot of practical advice for having a dog and then a baby, which doesn't help. The last one I read said you don't have to rehome your pets but to do so if there's signs of allergies in the baby. Nothing on how to cat proof the crib, how to get the pets used to the baby stuff before hand, or how to manage (dad takes baby in stroller and dog on leash and goes for a half hour walk to give mom a break for example) doing things. Maybe I should write a book! 


I don't hang out with my 'non kid' friends as much now that I have kids, but it's for a few different reasons. Most don't have kid friendly homes, so having coffee and constantly stressing over the white carpets and the kids doing something to them is not fun. Or they don't understand parenting and why the kids can't have four juice boxes in a short amount of time, so they'll say 'really, I don't mind' then I have to say 'well you will when that grape juice gets puked on your white carpet'. Or they will make comments like 'why doesn't he understand he can't drink four boxes of grape juice, haven't you explained that to him? let me try to reason with your 2 year old' where you just have to sigh. Most don't get how you can't always just jump up and leave without packing a bag of toys, diapers, snacks and such or why it's hell if you don't get home by seven so you can get them into bed by eight.


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## Canaqua (Sep 27, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

We've got three kids, two are young adults now. 

I found getting out with an infant easy, they sleep so much of the time. I wouldn't take an infant to a noisy nightclub or anything, but being able to meet friends for dinner at a restaurant was easy, as was going to their houses or having them over. It is hardest from about 6 mos to 2.5 or 3. During this period, DH and I would often take turns....I stayed home with the baby while he saw his friends or he stayed home while I saw mine. We could also have our then teennaged boys sit sometimes, they wanted money  Around 3 you can start to reason with them a little and expect better behavior in some places and it's easier to find a sitter once they are potty trained.

I'm a pretty laid back parent though, I'm not at all convinced that I'm the only one who can take care of baby properly...DH could do it, my Mom, my older boys, the boy down the street who sat for us, etc... I know some of my friends get really stressed out and feel only Mom can meet the baby's needs, so they are home all the time.


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## ArlosMom (Jan 4, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I want to second the overwhelmed mother thing. I have a 2 year old, and I was so overwhelmed when she was born. I had pretty yucky postpartum depression and it felt intense. I can totally see someone making an impulsive decision because they just feel totally burned out. It's unfortunate, because that feeling passes relatively quickly. When you are in the throws of it though, it can definitely feel like there's no real end in sight... 

But I don't really understand when people re-home pets when they find out they are expecting, unless of course, there's some kind of aggression that they are worried about...


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

yeah, parenting = not for me lol for the above reasons. so i will just be a parentt to dogs lol lol


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## marsha=whitie (Dec 29, 2008)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Being a new parent is INCREDIBLY hard, especially when you have never dealt with a child before, and the baby is unplanned. I was completely lost and overwhelmed after Sionn was born. I got no help, even though it was promised to me. I was always harassed by my parents about how I "need to get [my] life straight." I was so stressed out over money and my son that Bryna was neglected. I suffered from PPD, and my moods were all over the place. I lost control of my anger and actually turned abusive. I never hit my son or my dog, though. (My poor SO... man, he's a trooper.) I couldn't handle a newborn and a dog that was GOGOGOGO all the time, so I rehomed Bryna to a friend 4 weeks after my son was born. 

Thankfully I had everything back under control a few months later when I found out that my friend was actually abusing Bryna, and I was able to take her back.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have never gotten a puppy while pregnant. /fail

Oh, and I still have all 3 of my cats, even after my parents harassed me about getting rid of them because "they'll suffocate him."


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## Binkalette (Dec 16, 2008)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Our baby is due next month. If I get stressed out and exhausted with a newborn and two dogs, that's my problem. Not theirs. I worked at the shelter for 2 years and I absolutely despise people who give up their pets because they had a baby or are having a baby.. or.. for any reason really. I can count on one hand the animals that were surrendered for valid reasons in my 2 years there. People are so selfish and they just don't want to put in the effort to make it work. The path of least resistance.. I get it.

Do I have strong feelings on this? Maybe.


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## Mr. saggylips (Feb 19, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

There is no valid reason to "give away" your dog. I could never do that.


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## ArlosMom (Jan 4, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



Binkalette said:


> Our baby is due next month. If I get stressed out and exhausted with a newborn and two dogs, that's my problem. Not theirs. I worked at the shelter for 2 years and I absolutely despise people who give up their pets because they had a baby or are having a baby.. or.. for any reason really. I can count on one hand the animals that were surrendered for valid reasons in my 2 years there. People are so selfish and they just don't want to put in the effort to make it work. The path of least resistance.. I get it.
> 
> Do I have strong feelings on this? Maybe.


While I understand what you are saying, and where you are coming from. Absolutely. I would never judge someone until I've walked a day in their shoes. While anything is possible with hard work and dedication, the despair one feels in the throws of depression is something really awful. I would never judge someone for decisions made because things aren't clear. They will probably regret them later, but hindsight is 20/20.

I am in no way saying it makes it right, but emotionally, it's awful.


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## Inga (Jun 16, 2007)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Absolutely not.









Before getting a dog in the first place one should be thinking of where they are going to be in the next 10-15 years (average dogs life) and if there is an answer in there that doesn't include a dog, you shouldn't get one. If you are thinking of getting a dog and thinking in the next few years of having kids and can't handle both, don't get a dog. If you dogs isn't good with kids and all of a sudden you have an oops pregnancy but decide to have the child, then you have 9 months to get the dog good with kids. Train, socialize and set your house up in a manner that you can do both. If not, don't get a dog in the first place. 

There are very few allergy excuses either since most allergies can be managed with a little effort. Don't have the dog sleep in the child's room, vacuum often, use a Hepa filter and have your dog groomed more often. Don't just dump your dog. As someone else said, if you had a child and then had a second, you wouldn't get rid of the first. Dogs are living breathing beings that love us and depend on us for their care. Dumping is NOT an option, in my opinion. Life threatening illness or death are the exceptions to that rule. IMO


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## Greater Swiss (Jun 7, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I don't know what I would do if I got pregnant right now, I know I would be panicked!! Caeda has been a handful and continues to be. I know I would be stressed, I know it would pass through my head at least once during moments of extreme exhaustion, but I don't think I would ever go through with it. These people that go "oh, I'm pregnant, rehome the dog" not cool, it least needs a good try. Babies don't stay babies forever, and though while an infant I'd have a hard time keeping up with Caeda's exercise requirements, I'd likely send her to doggy daycare a lot and tough it out. Some people can cope with children and dogs and all of the craziness of that, not sure if I could, though I'd like to think so. 
On the other hand how many threads have there been where people have said their dog has bitten their child and everybody says "rehome". It many instances it is the owners who haven't done enough work with their dog or supervised closely enough. I've never had a child but I can imagine that it is exhausting and it would be pretty easy to be complacent for a moment and have it go badly. That means the dog needs to be rehomed....not because its a bad dog, but because the owners just can't keep up with it, something that I could only blame them for so much (unless of course they were completely negligent about it). 
My general opinion, it is valid if there has at least been a good effort, if its just a matter of not being willing to try, then it absolutely isn't.


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## Lindbert (Dec 12, 2010)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I have a 5 month old daughter. I'm a single, divorced mother and I have two dogs. We make it work. The dogs LOVE Jessie.


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## Tofu_pup (Dec 8, 2008)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

(Disclaimer: I'm not a mother and I never will be. This is just my two bits)

It depends on the dog(s), the parent(s), and the resources at hand.

For example, my mother was single, working two+ jobs, and trying to raise me at 18 years old. That would not have been a good home for a dog. What money she did have often went to daycare, food, rent, college, etc. She was barely ever home. As much as I want to see every dog live a fulfilling life in a permanent home, this would not have been one. 

But I see a lot of customers in doggy daycare doing everything they can to make sure that their dog's need continue to be met after the baby is born. They have the resources for doggy daycare and/or a dog walker. 

It's difficult and exhausting, I'm sure. But it's not impossible.


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## ThoseWordsAtBest (Mar 18, 2009)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



Mr. saggylips said:


> There is no valid reason to "give away" your dog. I could never do that.


Well that just ain't true at all.


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## Canaqua (Sep 27, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Well, it's hard for me to understand, because I've done the dogs + baby multiple times, including an extremely premature baby and the single mother thing and a gazillion other hazards that I won't list, lest I bore you . I am a "shoulder to the plow" type of person and I actually thrive on adversity. If everything is going smoothly, I get bored . 

But, one thing I've learned (because I'm "old" at 50 and have been around the block a few times) is that some people are more resilient than others. I used to tend to judge those less resilient folks, considering them "whimpy". With more experience, however, I've learned that is it not someone's fault that they succumb to stress or exhaustion sooner than I might, they are a different person and their tolerance for stress might be less, they really are suffering and deserve some compassion. My stepson is one of those, it's been hard for me to learn compassion, but I have.


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## luv mi pets (Feb 5, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I feel lucky was not put in that situation. Had a couple of rotties and a sheltie when our first child was born. Lived on a farm that butted up against a nature path(unused, out in the middle of nowhere). My husband said that was a good thing. Taught the dogs to pull a wagon and I would walk that path. Dogs pulling a wagon, child strapped in a carrier in the wagon, a couple of goats, some turkeys, five guinea fowls and a barn cat all going for a walk. I was always thankful never ran into anybody on those walks. I made it work. Like I said in the beginning glad I never had to mull over getting rid of one of my dogs.


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## Spicy1_VV (Jun 1, 2007)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I don't mean to sound insensitive to anyone who really needed to rehome. I know there are legitimate reasons for some who are pregnant or had a baby. For most its just an excuse. Just like moving. In certain circumstances it could be a legit reason but the majority of time its not. 

Also someone 5 months pg gets a dog and a couple weeks later wants to get rid of it and they know the work required they've had and rehomed dogs before. 
Others knew they were going to non pet friendly housing, getting deployed or leaving for college but decided to get a dog right before. Then the ones who landlords don't allow pets if they get caught dog has to go.


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## Spicy1_VV (Jun 1, 2007)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



sassafras said:


> But the whole "the rest of the world ended because I had a baby" syndrome where people don't see their friends or do ANYTHING they used to do before grates on me, too.


For real. I never understood this concept. Didn't happen with my kids. 

Went to eat out @ a few days old, went to first dog show @ 4 weeks old (clearly I was working dogs and I had 4 month old pups to get used to lead walking and handling), its easy to take baby to the park or walk with stroller and guess what you can take your dog. Fresh air is good for new moms.

Wow so stroller autocorrects to artillery lol

Anyway I think babies are easier to take places wait til they get to be a toddler.


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## AussieNerdQueen (Jul 28, 2010)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

It's probably not valid most of the time, but what I've learned from being involved in rescue is just like you can't 'punish' a young sexually active couple with a child so they 'know their responsibility and consequences of their actions' you cannot 'punish' someone into keeping a dog to learn responsibility. Sadly some people never learn responsibility and dogs are so often the target of this lack of foresight.

I guess my answer is if someone doesn't want the dog for whatever stupid excuse they come up with? The dog is better off without THEM, and that's all that matters. An unwanted dog is not going to be a loved and happy dog.


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## marsha=whitie (Dec 29, 2008)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I was lucky enough to have someone to take Bryna before I killed her (not literally, mind you.) I don't deal with stress very well... it makes me incredibly hot headed, and I didn't have help even after I had my son (via c-section.) My SO wouldn't get up with Sionn, and he wouldn't even help me get up out of bed. That had to be the most painful 4 weeks of my life, recovering from that. If I had had the help that was promised to me (my mother decided once Sionn was born that she didn't want to watch him till he could sleep through the night -__-), and my SO would have helped me, dealing with Bryna would have been a lot easier. I've never had such a hyper active dog before: she drives me crazy sometimes still!

Someone rehoming a dog because they had a baby, I can understand, because there are a lot of factors that might not be mentioned (baby aggression, allergies, finances, etc.). Rehoming a dog because you moved? No, I don't get it. If someone takes the time to actually LOOK, they can find a place that allows dogs. I did it, so can they. That's partially why I don't look through the Pet section on Craigslist anymore.


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## Red Fraggle (Nov 23, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



marsha=whitie said:


> Rehoming a dog because you moved? No, I don't get it. If someone takes the time to actually LOOK, they can find a place that allows dogs. I did it, so can they. That's partially why I don't look through the Pet section on Craigslist anymore.


The market is different depending on where you live. In my nearest city, there is a very short list of rental units that allow dogs. Even cats are rarely allowed these days and the majority of people are priced out of them, or they have a waiting list miles long. When there are less rentals than people who can't afford to buy houses, you have a housing crisis and landlords don't have to compete by offering perks like allowing pets. Things seem to be trending this way across Canada and even in places like Ontario where it's not legal for a landlord to refuse someone because of pets, many people say they can't find a place, or get bullied out of a place for having pets. The landlords just make up an other excuse like a BS noise violation.


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## krystina alayne (Jun 23, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

i have no sympathy for people who "get rid" of perfectly good cats or dogs because they had a baby, usually a planned baby. sure, a newborn is time-consuming whether its been planned or not. but its immoral and cruel to give the pet away just because mom is "tired"..
my husband and i adopted a brand new puppy when i was 5 months pregnant. we knew what we were getting into and even though ive had numerous sleepless nights between getting up to pee at 2 am and getting up to take the puppy out to pee at 3 am, then lay awake til 5 from back pain, then get up at 7 to exercise the feed and exercise the pup. then AFTER i had my baby.. oh man. our dog went through his eating-dirty-diaper-and-baby-clothes phase [which he is still in, by the way], and now my daughter learned how to crawl last week! now i have to vacuum the house around my dog sharing his dog toys with my daughter, strap her into the stroller to go for a walk and fetch with the dog.. sometimes he has to wait to go potty if im nursing my daughter, but he has learned to be patient and i have learned that a happy household and lack of sleep/me-time is better than having to struggle with a hyperactive dog. have i thought about getting rid of him? maybe, in my subconscious, coming home to a shredded diaper that i left in the topless garbage can [i never blame the dog. its always my fault], or when i see him "sharing" his bone with my daughter, both of them happily licking it.. gross! but no. hes my baby and i adopted him, knowing that i was going to have another baby. or, even if i wasnt pregnant or planning, i wouldve known that there was a possibility of that happening. and if i cant handle a kid and a dog, im not a very good person. god help those people who "get rid" of pets if they ever have another kid.

"dear craigslist, i had another baby. the first one has started throwing toys and runs around too much and im soooo tired from being up all night from the new baby that i just need to get rid of it. its sweet and loving but i just dont have the time and energy anymore with the new baby."


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## krystina alayne (Jun 23, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

the only exception would be if the dog acts aggressively towards the new baby. that there is a REAL problem. and if the owners tried to fix the problem with no luck, then they have a real, honest reason for giving the pet to a new home. 


im so glad i have a sweet, gentle dog that absolutely loves my daughter! he really does share his toys with her. its disgusting and cute.


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I'm thinking from reading this that there's a need for someone to keep the dog for the baby's first few months. It's an idea for rescues. . .could really be a valuable service.

I have less sympathy for people who get rid of their cats, mostly because cats are generally low-maintenance, don't usually adjust well to new homes, and because it's nearly impossible to find a home for an adult cat and he'll probably end up dead. 

I know that I get absolutely psychotic when I'm sleep-deprived. Not exaggerating. So I probably wouldn't be able to handle having a baby and dogs, especially if the dog was high-need, and I would probably make a bad decision to get rid of them if nobody stopped me. I'm sure my family would help out, though, maybe keep the dogs for a few months or at least caring for them and the baby so I could get some sleep! But for someone without family support. . .it could get bad.


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## AussieNerdQueen (Jul 28, 2010)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



krystina alayne said:


> i have no sympathy for people who "get rid" of perfectly good cats or dogs because they had a baby, usually a planned baby. sure, a newborn is time-consuming whether its been planned or not. *but its immoral and cruel to give the pet away just because mom is "tired"..*
> my husband and i adopted a brand new puppy when i was 5 months pregnant. we knew what we were getting into and even though ive had numerous sleepless nights between getting up to pee at 2 am and getting up to take the puppy out to pee at 3 am, then lay awake til 5 from back pain, then get up at 7 to exercise the feed and exercise the pup. then AFTER i had my baby.. oh man. our dog went through his eating-dirty-diaper-and-baby-clothes phase [which he is still in, by the way], and now my daughter learned how to crawl last week! now i have to vacuum the house around my dog sharing his dog toys with my daughter, strap her into the stroller to go for a walk and fetch with the dog.. sometimes he has to wait to go potty if im nursing my daughter, but he has learned to be patient and i have learned that a happy household and lack of sleep/me-time is better than having to struggle with a hyperactive dog. have i thought about getting rid of him? maybe, in my subconscious, coming home to a shredded diaper that i left in the topless garbage can [i never blame the dog. its always my fault], or when i see him "sharing" his bone with my daughter, both of them happily licking it.. gross! but no. hes my baby and i adopted him, knowing that i was going to have another baby. or, even if i wasnt pregnant or planning, i wouldve known that there was a possibility of that happening. and if i cant handle a kid and a dog, im not a very good person. god help those people who "get rid" of pets if they ever have another kid.
> 
> "dear craigslist, i had another baby. the first one has started throwing toys and runs around too much and im soooo tired from being up all night from the new baby that i just need to get rid of it. its sweet and loving but i just dont have the time and energy anymore with the new baby."


Some women are not tired they are suffering from depression or having a meltdown. I'll be one of those 'immoral' mothers who cannot cope. I know it. I'll make a lot of mistakes I'll regret. I do not intend to have children before my girl passes away but I know I will need a LOT of help to keep her and a child at first should iI fall pregnant. I'd never ever give up my Winnie but I can see how for some new parents (especially new mothers) it's overwhelming and all too much. To trivialise it as 'too tired' is probably a tad harsh.

Pregnancy is one of the few factors with dog rehoming I try not to be too judgemental on, as I know what an emotional basket case I am and it's very easy for me to see how extremely overwhelmed new mums can be. 

Please note I'd NEVER EVER rehome Winnie, not because I accidentally fell pregnant or what, but this is a scenario that is VERY individual so we can't tar every new mum with the same brush. I've seen mums with a baby on one hips, three dogs on a lead and a rosy glow. I've also seen mothers who look like they should be in Zombie movies about to cry. Everybody copes with different life stresses differently. There are definitely people who have their new toy and don't want their old toy any more, but judging all new mothers based on the actions of a few isn't that good an idea.


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## AussieNerdQueen (Jul 28, 2010)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



Willowy said:


> I'm thinking from reading this that there's a need for someone to keep the dog for the baby's first few months. It's an idea for rescues. . .could really be a valuable service.
> 
> *I have less sympathy for people who get rid of their cats, mostly because cats are generally low-maintenance, don't usually adjust well to new homes,* and because it's nearly impossible to find a home for an adult cat and he'll probably end up dead.
> 
> I know that I get absolutely psychotic when I'm sleep-deprived. Not exaggerating. So I probably wouldn't be able to handle having a baby and dogs, especially if the dog was high-need, and I would probably make a bad decision to get rid of them if nobody stopped me. I'm sure my family would help out, though, maybe keep the dogs for a few months or at least caring for them and the baby so I could get some sleep! But for someone without family support. . .it could get bad.


One of us has very strange cats, mine are the EXACT opposite. Lol.


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## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



Charis said:


> We do not have children yet - however we are planning - and our dogs are staying in the picture. We are looking at cars for the future (ones that easily fit car seats - mine does not) and we are looking at hatchbacks/SUVs because I need to fit multiple car seats and have a place to put the dogs so they don't meet while I can't reach everyone. We are planning on baby gates (the nursery will be strictly off limits) and the dog and infant are never going to be alone in a room together where they can reach each other. We intend to put "tie downs" around the room to secure the dog to if we must step out and the baby is in a play pen (soft sides). We intend to start playing baby noises (and gradually increasing the volume) and carrying around a baby doll when we find out we a re pregnant (so the dogs can learn how to interact with us while we are carrying an infant) and get baby items early so the dogs are used to everything being moved around.
> Management, management, management and I will admit I do see people as "lazy" who are unwilling to even try managing it. We are even putting aside "dog money" in the baby fund so we can board them the first few weeks of having the baby home and put them in daycare if we are too exhausted to walk. We intend to care for them even if it includes hiring other people to do so temporarily.
> 
> The only circumstances we would consider rehoming is illness that will keep us from caring for them long term. I mean months living in a hospital kinda illness (congenital heart defects, etc) before we would even consider it and even then we would try to make it temporary (rehome on short term basis to someone we knew).
> I won't say I would never rehome (never say never) however it would have to be extraordinary circumstances and I would try everything I could to avoid it.


This needs to be a sticky or something.


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## +two (Jul 12, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I am not a mother, never want to be. My brother and his wife had a baby, he is now 15 months old, and I was his full time babysitter for the first year of his life. I am not comparing my experience with being a full time mom, but I can see how people deal with things differently. I would watch baby at my house (with my 2 dogs plus sometimes a foster/pet sitting dog) and at my brothers house. 

Did it take a lot of energy to make sure that baby and dogs were all safe? Yes. lots of extra energy and time. But the way I see it, they make so much stuff for baby's now that it isn't impossible to wrap the kid up in warm clothes, throw it in a stroller and then take the dogs for a walk. We would take 3 long walks a day together because one can only watch so many cartoons, and everyone (including me) benefits from fresh air. 

My brother has 2 adult Golden Retrievers and 3 cats. They chose not to rehome any of the animals because they put a lot of forethought into their future. The dogs were planned, the baby was planned, ect ect. However, when baby actually arrived, it seemed there just wasn't time for the dogs anymore. They would be inside for 10+ hours a day, with maybe a few trips out into the yard a day and then back inside. And then they'd get yelled at when they started acting up... 

sigh. I don't think any amount of planning can prepare someone completely for having a child. I think some people are selfish, for sure. I think my SIL would be one of those (choosing to go to the gym for 3 hours instead of taking her dogs on a walk, not wanting to pay anyone to walk them / daycare). It seems like the dogs are still happy enough, and I am not sure rehoming would be the best option. How can you convince someone to stop being selfish though? 

It was definitely too much for me to be taking care of my dogs, the baby and my brothers two dogs. It was... hectic. But, whatever. I made it work, we got through the first year no worse for wear.


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## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



Mr. saggylips said:


> There is no valid reason to "give away" your dog. I could never do that.


Don't say never. Seriously.


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## blackdove (Feb 25, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

But taking care of a baby is a phase, isn't it? Do you see these folks getting back the dog after this phase?


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## ArlosMom (Jan 4, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

That is very true! When my daughter was a newborn, we didn't have pets. I really would have been going crazy. I had a friend who wanted to re-home her dogs because she was so stressed. Luckily her good friend offered to take them for a few months. Sure enough, she was ever so grateful and definitely embarrassed she felt she needed to re-home. She just wasn't thinking clearly, and didn't realize that the newborn phase is the most time consuming thing. Especially if you have a child with colic. By 3 or 4 months old, it gets so much easier.




Willowy said:


> I'm thinking from reading this that there's a need for someone to keep the dog for the baby's first few months. It's an idea for rescues. . .could really be a valuable service.
> 
> I have less sympathy for people who get rid of their cats, mostly because cats are generally low-maintenance, don't usually adjust well to new homes, and because it's nearly impossible to find a home for an adult cat and he'll probably end up dead.
> 
> I know that I get absolutely psychotic when I'm sleep-deprived. Not exaggerating. So I probably wouldn't be able to handle having a baby and dogs, especially if the dog was high-need, and I would probably make a bad decision to get rid of them if nobody stopped me. I'm sure my family would help out, though, maybe keep the dogs for a few months or at least caring for them and the baby so I could get some sleep! But for someone without family support. . .it could get bad.


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## spanielorbust (Jan 3, 2009)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



ArlosMom said:


> That is very true! When my daughter was a newborn, we didn't have pets. I really would have been going crazy. I had a friend who wanted to re-home her dogs because she was so stressed. Luckily her good friend offered to take them for a few months. Sure enough, she was ever so grateful and definitely embarrassed she felt she needed to re-home. She just wasn't thinking clearly, and didn't realize that the newborn phase is the most time consuming thing. Especially if you have a child with colic. By 3 or 4 months old, it gets so much easier.


I'm just going to throw in a spanner here for those that believe 'never' is in the picture. I haven't read the full thread yet so please forgive me if this has been covered. I will say that I agree that many times people just aren't dedicated. If so I'm glad they are rehoming anyway.

For some babies it gets easier after 3 or 4 months. There are other babies, however, that are much more difficult than that. Babies with difficulties, and I can think of those on the Autism spectrum, CAN be difficult for years. My oldest son has/had less difficulties than an autistic child, but he is on that spectrum and charted through a 24 hour period for the first 9 months of his life if I added the 45 minute rest periods he took altogether we'd get up to 9 hours of rest in a day - never more than 90 minutes at a time. The other 15 hours he was awake and needy, exploring or crying. I cannot even put words to the exhaustion felt and the mental state that you get into. I was lucky to have at the time just an ancient dog that just liked to sleep.

My son got his first full nights sleep (8 hours) at the age of 5 after all other alternatives were given up on and he was medicated. At that age his natural sleeping time had diminished to just 5 hours daily - midnight to 5 a.m. and that was it.

I know MANY babies MUCH more demanding than my son was as I worked with Autistic children for quite some time. Some of their parents gave up much cherished pets. 

To complicate the issue many of these infants do not/cannot deal with change in routine. A three hour night away might be 'payed for' with a full week or torturous anxiety ridden bouts of crying following. Mine cried himself into a lack of oxygen three times (he has asthma as well) - had to go to emergency for treatment.

The rest of the world does end when some of us have children . . . . it has to.

Many parents do not tell the world they have a difficult baby/toddler/child as well. They just hunker down.

SOB


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## Red Fraggle (Nov 23, 2011)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I can relate to that SOB. My oldest has mitochondrial disease and had feeding problems for the first 14months until we finally gave in and started tube feeding. The poor kid was hungry all the time, but he had difficulty swallowing, so we'd have to spend nearly every waking moment feeding him. The only breaks I'd get were if I distracted him with a Baby Einstein video for 15 min or so.

My second was a dream for the first 3 years, then it was like a flip of a switch and now he's the one who exhausts me. He's got a tentative diagnosis of ADHD, but there is suspicion of "autistic features", sensory integration difficulties and various other question marks. We spend so much time at doctors offices. If I couldn't drop Wembley at my Mom's to be puppysat when we're busy at the emergency room or just long Dr's appts waiting for blood test results, etc, we wouldn't be able to make it work...and my kids are 7 and 9. I can't imagine doing this when they were younger, we were in an apartment and I had to carry Ethan on my shoulders so I could push Tarok's wheelchair through the snow.

We'd all like to expect perfectly normal, healthy, happy babies, but there are no guarantees in life and unforeseeable circumstances happen.


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## ArlosMom (Jan 4, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

Good Point, SOB. Everyone has such different experiences, and no one can assume that anyone is having the same experience, or the same reaction to a similar experience. I was solely speaking on my experience. My daughter was very colicky, and incredibly needy for the first 4 months. I used to call my mom crying because she wouldn't stop crying for hours. So exhausting. Lucky for me, it was like a switch at 4 months old. The crying just stopped.


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## mightymal (Sep 23, 2009)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

There are too many variables that go into having/raising a baby to decide if any one person or household is "justified" in rehoming pets after they have a baby. 

I prepped my dogs for months leading up to the birth of my unplanned blessing (my daughter). Played crying baby sounds, tugged on their ears/tails/skin, brushed up on their "out", "stay", and "down" commands. I had an easy pregnancy, though we moved 6 days before I had the baby, so we were living out of boxes and sleeping on the couch for the first 2-3 months after the baby was born. Then I had a rough delivery that put me on bed rest for the 3 weeks following delivery. And some fairly bad post-partum depression that led to serious anxiety and depressive swings, to the point that I would break down crying for DH not to leave for work in the morning. Then one (at least one) of the cats started spraying and pooping all over our new basement. I had to return to work at 6 weeks post-partum, so I was working during the day, then only getting 1-2 hours of sleep at a time during the night. And to top it off, the horses came home the following month, which put one of our malinois into an neurotic aggressive frenzy. 

I thought I was going to lose my mind. I mean, I had moments when I really truly thought that I could not do this. Not sleeping for a couple weeks, let alone months on end, can really mess with your mind. I had no idea what it was really like to care for a baby (why does this kid keep screaming? she's fed/dry/burped/etc...what else does she want from me??) and I continually felt either upset with the animals (dammit who peed on the carpet AGAIN??) or guilty for being upset earlier/not giving them the attention they deserved. If I wasn't as committed to keeping our animals as I am, I probably would have hit a point of rehoming at least some of them. And I had a normal, healthy baby, not a baby with colic, reflux, allergies, etc. DD is now 14 months and it has gotten easier, not because it has gotten easier to take care of her (can't remember the last time I got a full night of sleep, now she is walking an into everything, we added another pup to our pack, etc.) but because it has become the new normal for all of us, animals included. That and I'm used to being constantly sleep deprived!

Before I had my daughter, I would have absolutely judged someone for giving up their pet after having a baby, especially since I have worked for quite some time in animal shelters. Having walked a mile in those boots, I have to say that I've been served a big helping of humble pie and no longer feel that it is my place to decide what is "justified" for someone else's situation. I made it through with my household intact, but only with the grace of God, and having been through it, I can certainly understand circumstances in which it would be in everyone's best interest to rehome.


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## sscott87 (Feb 19, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

I know this thread is dying but I just remembered a good one that I feel like sharing. I'm an LT in the Army and recently one of my Sergeants was talking about his two dogs. One a Great Dane and another I believe a Boxer, both being purebreds. He'd said something about them being purebreds, papers, etc etc and I thought for some reason he'd said he paid $80 for the boxer so I proceeded to comment on how I'm not the biggest fan of people who spend BIG money on dogs from breeders (just a personal opinion, but hey, at the same time if you give the dog a good home, then so be it). I was corrected a moment later after another made a joke about my misunderstanding, and informed that he'd paid $800 for the dog. The whole thing came up because he was saying to the other guy how he'd just sold the Boxer for $80. 

Why does he have such a thing for purebreds? Because, he says, you know exactly what you're getting. He can look into the breeds themselves and know exactly what it is he's paying for in an animal, how it'll behave, etc etc.

...And the reason he got rid of it for so cheap? Because he's not into selling dogs, but the dog has to go because he's gotten slightly possessive/protective of the guy's pregnant wife, in the sense that he's apparently become more affectionate and tries to jump on her (something he also, in the same breath, declared is something that such dogs do, in regards to the becoming protective/affectionate of pregnant female owners). Sooo not only are you getting rid of the car because your wife is pregnant, but yet your primary reason for spending such large sums of money on purebred dogs just completely went out the window...

End Rant.


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## Tofu_pup (Dec 8, 2008)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*



sscott87 said:


> I know this thread is dying but I just remembered a good one that I feel like sharing. I'm an LT in the Army and recently one of my Sergeants was talking about his two dogs. One a Great Dane and another I believe a Boxer, both being purebreds. He'd said something about them being purebreds, papers, etc etc and I thought for some reason he'd said he paid $80 for the boxer so I proceeded to comment on how I'm not the biggest fan of people who spend BIG money on dogs from breeders (just a personal opinion, but hey, at the same time if you give the dog a good home, then so be it). I was corrected a moment later after another made a joke about my misunderstanding, and informed that he'd paid $800 for the dog. The whole thing came up because he was saying to the other guy how he'd just sold the Boxer for $80.
> 
> Why does he have such a thing for purebreds? Because, he says, you know exactly what you're getting. He can look into the breeds themselves and know exactly what it is he's paying for in an animal, how it'll behave, etc etc.
> 
> ...


I don't understand how this is relevant to the thread. Bashing purebred dogs is hardly relevant.


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## sscott87 (Feb 19, 2012)

*Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?*

It wasn't a bash by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sorry that it came off more so like that to you, but the primary point was meant to be the fact that it was another case of someone getting rid of what was admittedly a perfectly good dog for hardly no reason other than the fact that they were having another child. I do apologize as it went more towards my frustration that the guy who gets purebreds "because I know exactly what I'm getting and how it will act" got rid of one for behavior he described as typical of the breed.

I, in no way, shape or form have any issue with purebreds, despite my failure to comprehend why some people spend extremely large sums of money on specific dogs. But that is completely a personal preference and I while I may suggest looking at rescues, I wouldn't/don't criticize someone for it. To each their own. I know I've spent plenty on what some would call ridiculous things. Boxers are pretty awesome dogs, but getting rid of one you've had for 2 years since it was a young puppy because of behaviors you claim to have known it may exhibit? That, to me, is a lack of effort to work with the dog and the pregnancy appears to be a lame cop-out. Which is relevant to this thread.

But after re-reading it, I do see how it could easily be read as you read it, and for that misunderstanding I apologize to anyone that takes it that way. No such was meant.


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