# Can there be two pack leaders...?



## tattykassy (Jul 29, 2013)

My husband and I got a labrador/Border collie mix puppy about a month ago and he is 3 months old now. He is making good progress from what people have told me, he can sit and shake a paw and does well in his crate. He was pretty much house broken when he got home, so we have had an effortless time with that. His energy level is pretty mellow, he loves to play but he can relax as well. My husband and I haven't had a dog since we were little kids, we are both fans of Cesar Millan and enjoy watching his show, and are finding his methods are working well for us so far. My husband is so proud of his "pup" and loves him to bits already, but the dog seems to follow me around. I get the feeling it makes him jealous, and I feel a bit guilty to be honest. I told him that it has to do with the fact I feed him, I basically mean "food" to the dog. We have been getting him to feed the dog and give him treats, but he still seems to gravitate towards me. The dog seems to also listen to me a bit more, the other day my husband couldn't catch the dog running around and wanted me to take over the "chase" so he can go to the washroom, and I just stuck my head out the door and said "Bosco, come here. Sit. Get inside" and he actually listened. It shocked the heck out of me to be honest. Is there anyway that we can both be pack leaders, or is he always going to gravitate towards just one individual? I want my husband to have that "mans best friend" relationship with the dog, is there anything I can do to help foster that? Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks much for your time. :wave:


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

Step 1...stop watching CM. His methods are outdated and disproven and harmful to your relationship with your dog. Step 2...if your husband wants a greater relationship with the dog, why not sign them up for an obedience class together with a positive trainer? It's a great way to bond with a dog.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Forget about the "pack leader" thing. That was all based on flawed research done more than 40 years ago on captive, unrelated wolves. In the four decades since, researchers have learned that real wolf packs are peaceful family groups, with the mother and father as the leaders and no competition for their spots. And in any case, dogs aren't wolves. Feral dogs don't even form strict packs; they only band together sometimes when it's convenient. I posted a bunch of links here that go into more depth:

You will find that most people here, and all of the good behaviorists out there, are not fans of Cesar Millan. This article explains why. It is very possible that if your husband is using CM's techniques, the dog is a little nervous and doesn't want to come to him.

However, it's not uncommon for a dog to bond more with one person than another, especially when the dog is of a breed specifically bred to work closely with a human handler. Border collies definitely fit in that category! I agree that if your husband does some more things alone with the dog, such as a good (positive) obedience class, or solo walks, and if he keeps doing the feeding, the dog should bond with him more.


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## MyCharlie (Nov 4, 2007)

Crantastic said:


> It is very possible that if your husband is using CM's techniques, the dog is a little nervous and doesn't want to come to him.
> 
> However, it's not uncommon for a dog to bond more with one person than another, especially when the dog is of a breed specifically bred to work closely with a human handler. Border collies definitely fit in that category! I agree that if your husband does some more things alone with the dog, such as a good (positive) obedience class, or solo walks, and if he keeps doing the feeding, the dog should bond with him more.


Yep, exactly what I was going to say! Charlie didn't care for my hubby at ALL when we brought him home. Now he often stays by him more than he does me (even though I'm the feeder/trainer/walker). He may change as he gets older.

Specifically about the "chasing" incident the other night - it's possible that your husband couldn't get Bosco to come inside because he was chasing him. Chasing is FUN for dogs! Most love to chase and be chased. You chase them, they will usually run away - wheeeee let's keep going!! You weren't chasing Bosco around, so it wouldn't have been tempting to keep running from you. Next time, suggest your husband call Bosco's name playfully, then run AWAY from Bosco. Bosco will likely chase after your husband, and when he catches up, hubby can "yay yay yay good boy you got me!! Let's go inside and get a treat!"


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## Fade (Feb 24, 2012)

I never seen the Video where he chokes that husky dog till it passed out till now. I am shocked 0.o Prolly should have seen that a long time ago >.< he is on a all new level of low for me now.


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## HollowHeaven (Feb 5, 2012)

There is no "pack leader". Please stop that train before it derails. That has been scientifically disproven for years. 
Cesar Milan is abusive. Outright. He uses physical and mental intimidation to cause dogs to fear him so they won't act. Please please please do not follow his methods. He's a moron.
Here's some information for you.
De-Buking The Mythical "Alpha Dog"
Dominance Statement
Misconceptions of the Mythical "Alpha Dog"
Dave Mech's Wolf Study
One Person's Cesar Experience
An Opinion on Cesar
The Damage of the "Dog Whisperer"

Here's a good video done by a positive trainer





Here's a statement made by David Mech, the man who coined the term 'alpha'. Based his updated information, all being an alpha means is controlling food, affection and breeding. We do that with our dogs anyway.


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## skitty56 (Jan 22, 2012)

Saw a quote on fb the other day " I don't know if my dogs consider me their leader and I don't care. They're greedy and I have all their stuff". The pup probably prefers you because you feed him. Forget CM and have your husband spent positive time with the pup, it should always be fun and rewarding, not scary.


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## hueyeats (Apr 2, 2013)

"*'However, in natural wolf packs, the alpha male or female are merely the breeding animals, the parents of the pack*, and dominance contests with other wolves are rare, if they exist at all…The only consistent demonstration of rank in natural packs is the animals' postures during social interaction. Dominant wolves assume the classic canid standing posture with tail up at least horizontally, and subordinate or submissive individuals lower themselves and "cringe" (Darwin 1877). In fact, submission itself may be as important as dominance in terms of promoting friendly relations or reducing social distance'."

"All I have to be is one position higher than that dog," says Beaver. "I raise him to see me as a leader. Not an alpha, a leader."
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2007250,00.html#ixzz2aZ5b8d7F"

"Our dogs don’t want to be “pack leaders.” I have yet to meet a dog who cares when I eat or when I go to bed. They care very much when THEY eat or go for a walk. But that’s a different thing. A leader would want to control my actions, not just the ones that serve their desires and wants. That’s just a clever scavenger trying to get their stuff (e.g., food, water, exercise, play, attention, etc.). 

With all the talk of “pack leadership” and “calm assertive energy” these days, I would suggest that we need to look at the facts about the social dynamics of dogs and treat them as they really are: members of our households who are very much our dependents. They are not competitors for any kind of status position in some imagined hierarchy. If we can turn our relationship with our dog from one of contention to cooperation, a whole new world of possibilities opens up. "

I see it this way...
Roman is a son in my family. The son I don't have.
But...
My son still depends on me that breadwinner (food giver and also leader parent) for the food. This is what the new "pack leader" theory really means to me.
I am his parent, hence the leader of his pack (parents of the pack) with that responsibilities to "feed & raise" him that "juvinile pup".

But that's my opinion and Roman did behave (and still retain) as that juvinile pup dependent on me & DH.

P.S. Parents of the pack does not automatically mean (any abusive methods "alpha roll" etc.) is used.
We (Roman & family) are a "trusting" family... NOT achievable via any abusive means.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Most people do not use "pack leader" that way, hueyeats. Most people associate it with alpha rolling and neck jabs and other things like that. It's better to avoid using the term altogether. "Leader" is fine, but "pack leader" is too tied to all of that alpha crap, and it always will be, as long as Cesar Millan keep using it that way.

Think of it this way... I could start claiming that "finger jab" means to lightly stroke a dog's head with my fingers, but unless everyone else in the dog world starts using it my way, they're going to misunderstand me and think that I mean poking the dog hard with my fingers. It's better if I use a different term.

Besides, there's been a lot of evidence lately to suggest that dogs, unlike wolves, are not pack animals, anyway:

http://www.caninemind.co.uk/pack.html
http://academyfordogtrainers.com/blog/2013/are-dogs-pack-animals/


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## hueyeats (Apr 2, 2013)

You can don't use it if you don't like it or ignore my post in its entirety.
(Your freedom)
But, this is where free peech comes in.

I hope this "free" society is not turning tyrant in not letting people use the words they want.
Parent pack leader or otherwise.

Parent = parent (mom & dad)
pack = family pack (a grouping, as in "my human & dog family).
leader = the head of the household.

You may not like it its your perogative.
Don't try and prevent me from posting it the way I want.

I can agree to disagree as I like... my freedom.

(P.S. CM is one of you guys too... trainers. Forever "experimenting with methods" in my eyes).


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Once again, you are not understanding what "free speech" actually means.

And you can use the term however you want. But when you keep coming into threads about alpha stuff and using your own definition of "pack leader," which is not everyone else's definition of pack leader, people are going to misunderstand you. _I am not telling you what to do._ I am pointing out that in general, it's better to avoid using a term when you use it a different way than everyone else does.


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## skitty56 (Jan 22, 2012)

hueyeats said:


> You can don't use it if you don't like it or ignore my post in its entirety.
> (Your freedom)
> But, this is where free peech comes in.
> 
> ...



Not this crap again, free speech has absolutely nothing to do with private forums, the government did not come in and say that you can't say that or you'll be arrested. You were told you were using a phrase in a way that no one else does, so you will be misunderstood every time you use it, you might try thinking about what people are telling you instead of bringing in the first amendment, which is not at all applicable here anyway.

And CM is not a trainer, or a behaviorist, he's a bully.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

And so what if CM is a trainer? That doesn't make him anything like me.

Miley Cyrus and I both own a klee kai. Does that make us similar in any other way?

Also, some people may think of their dogs as their children, but dogs don't think of us as parents. Dogs aren't even attached to their canine parents once they reach adulthood. Family isn't an important concept to dogs. As people have pointed out in other threads, dogs will mate with their own parents, or fight them. They don't seem to treat them any differently than they do an unrelated dog.

I definitely agree with the idea of being your dog's leader and protector. But wolves have no place in that. And if you want to call your dog your son, or you want to refer to yourself as your dog's pack leader, more power to you! You can say whatever you want. But yes, when you go into threads and try to convince people that the way YOU use the term is correct and everyone else in the world is wrong, of course people are going to disagree. That does not mean they are violating your right to free speech, bullying you, or stalking you (as you have accused people of doing in other threads). Debate is a big part of discussion forums.


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## cookieface (Jul 6, 2011)

hueyeats said:


> You can don't use it if you don't like it or ignore my post in its entirety.
> (Your freedom)
> But, this is where free peech comes in.
> 
> ...


This isn't about free speech. Not. At. All.

First, the first amendment to the US constitution states that _the government_ will not restrict the right of citizens to express themselves. The government isn't involved in this discussion or any other discussion on Dog Forum. They really have bigger things to worry about.

Second, this _is_ about clear communication. I can call my car a tomato, but I certainly can't expect people to understand what I'm talking about. In your house, "pack leader" may have a clear meaning and that meaning may differ from the way most other people use the phrase. However, when you communicate with people outside your home, it's helpful to use more the generally agreed upon meaning. 

In this case, folks advancing erroneous statements about canine social structure and dominance theory have been using "pack leader" to mean alpha and very often advocate that humans obtain alpha status through physical and psychological coercion and abuse. That is the way the phrase is understood by most people using it. Feel free to continue using an unconventional meaning and people here will continue to clarify.


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## sassafras (Jun 22, 2010)

You DO have free speech. You are expressing your opinion and no one is deleting your posts or censoring you or telling you you can't say the things you are saying or you can't use the words you want. They are simply disagreeing with you and your usage of particular words, and because everyone else here is ALSO entitled to free speech they are saying so. Meaning that they are entitled to express their opinions ABOUT your opinion. Even if they disagree with your opinion. 

Which is sometimes called a discussion. Discussion sometimes happen on discussion forums. 


For example, I don't agree that people do or should have a parent/child type of relationship with their dogs. Because I said so doesn't somehow magically take away your right or ability to say that you do.


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## OwnedbyACDs (Jun 22, 2013)

skitty56 said:


> Saw a quote on fb the other day " I don't know if my dogs consider me their leader and I don't care. They're greedy and I have all their stuff". The pup probably prefers you because you feed him. Forget CM and have your husband spent positive time with the pup, it should always be fun and rewarding, not scary.


Yeah I saw that quote on FB , I shared it 

In other words, you are already the "pack leader" so to speak. You control all the stuff: food, toys, treats, access to outside etc. dogs have to practice "dominance" so to speak on each OTHER because they don't have "one up" on one another like humans do with their control of resources. 

I love it when mine look at me with the expression of "what can I do to get [that]"  but we also do time outs or removal for really serious behaviors like squabbling, or biting during play (Josefina used to be really bad about putting her mouth on other dogs if they got the toy first) but with a "one strike & your out" where if she gets uppity with anyone during play she is on tie down for the rest of the session.

@Cranastic I didn't know Miley Cyrus owned a AKK also, interesting 

@Hueyeats as someone who has a lot of opinions that others don't like, (usually not dog related) but occasionally we have disagreed about things like making snap decisions on adopters, how some dogs need a clear negative consequence for certain behaviors.

That's cool, people can disagree sometimes & even get into some heated debates about other topics but it doesn't mean we are stalking each other or picking on one another, it just means we have a lot of conflicting views  it doesn't mean we hate each other or don't respect one another.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

OwnedbyACDs said:


> @Cranastic I didn't know Miley Cyrus owned a AKK also, interesting


Yeah! His name is Floyd and she seems to take great care of him. Good food, lots of walks, and he looks to be happy and in good health. Always nice to see celebs spending a lot of time with their dogs. Here are some photos. One of the captions is wrong, though; Floyd was not a rescue. He came from a good breeder.



> That's cool, people can disagree sometimes & even get into some heated debates about other topics but it doesn't mean we are stalking each other or picking on one another, it just means we have a lot of conflicting views  it doesn't mean we hate each other or don't respect one another.


Yeah. I don't think there's anyone on this forum that I agree with 100% of the time. There are some people where it seems like the split is around 50/50, haha. Even if I'm arguing with these people half the time, that doesn't mean that I think they're stupid or dislike them. It just means that I disagree about whatever subject we're discussing at the time.


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

I'll just ignore Huey's banana beaver cycling Gaelic stapler*, and get back to the OP's question. 

1. Stop watching Cesar Milan. On TV, It's Me or the Dog isn't bad, but dogstardaily.com and kikopup on youtube are where it's really at for understanding dogs and training. (Or stick around here. We do occasionally help people around First Amendment discussions.)

2. My dog's favorite person is my mother in law. Why? Because my MIL works a lot and doesn't know much about dogs, so her way of dealing with Kabota is to give him treats every time she sees him. Every single time. If your husband wants the dog to like him, he needs to stop with the neck jabs, leash pops and rolling and begin anew with lots and lots of treats.


*What's the point in trying to communicate if you won't use the accepted meanings of words?


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## Hambonez (Mar 17, 2012)

You guys should think of yourselves as your dog's teacher, not your dog's pack leader. Think of what a good teacher does - gives instructions, shows the right way to do things, rewards correct answers. We do this with our dogs. But what if a student does something wrong? They don't get the positive feedback of a good grade or a kind word, but they also don't get degraded or physically reprimanded. With a good teacher, if the student isn't performing as expected, then the teacher did not do a good enough job with instruction. Try to keep everything positive. The "pack leader" mentality includes physical corrections, and there's nothing relationship building about that. 

If your husband is keeping all interactions with the dogs positive, and is spending equal time with the dog feeding, training, walking, playing, and the dog still prefers you... the dog might just prefer you. Animals, like people, can have preferences about who they like. My dog thinks I'm the greatest! He loves my husband, but he will choose me over my husband every time. 



hueyeats said:


> But, this is where free peech comes in.


I would love some free peaches... When are the coming in?


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## kcomstoc (Mar 9, 2013)

Hambonez said:


> I would love some free peaches... When are the coming in?


 Just thought I would say I thought of this joke too


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## cookieface (Jul 6, 2011)

Hambonez said:


> I would love some free peaches... When are the coming in?


But what if a peach isn't really a peach?


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## MyCharlie (Nov 4, 2007)

kcomstoc said:


> Just thought I would say I thought of this joke too


And me three.... The song "Peaches" goes through my head whenever I check back on this thread! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvcohzJvviQ


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

cookieface said:


> But what if a peach isn't really a peach?


Sometimes when people say "peach" they mean "kiwi." I hope you like kiwis.


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## kcomstoc (Mar 9, 2013)

Crantastic said:


> Sometimes when people say "peach" they mean "kiwi." I hope you like kiwis.


 They are completely different fruits...one is green and has a bunch of black seeds (kiwi) and the other is like orangish/redish and has a giant pit in the middle (peach) I don't see how they can be confused....unless this was a joke and I completely didn't get it lol


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

kcomstoc said:


> unless this was a joke and I completely didn't get it lol


Yes. Haha.


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

I am choosing for peach to mean a punch in the head. I have the right to free speech, so now, anytime anyone asks me for a free peach, I will feel free to punch them in the head.

G-d bless America!


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## Hambonez (Mar 17, 2012)

Crantastic said:


> Sometimes when people say "peach" they mean "kiwi." I hope you like kiwis.


I love kiwis! But they're hardly interchangeable! Have you ever seen a kiwi pie? Can you even cook kiwis?? I think not! But you have the right to kiwis if you'd like them. (Let me know how the pie turns out!)


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## MyCharlie (Nov 4, 2007)

*I* make kiwi pie all the time......

And it is awesome. And even if it isn't "awesome", I will still love it just as much!


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## HollowHeaven (Feb 5, 2012)

Don't know where all this fruit talk is coming from, but I'm eating frozen grapes and they are yuuummmyy


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## BubbaMoose (May 14, 2013)

HollowHeaven said:


> Don't know where all this fruit talk is coming from, but I'm eating frozen grapes and they are yuuummmyy


mmmmm frozen grapes! I have a bunch prebagged in my freezer.

Green or purple?


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## HollowHeaven (Feb 5, 2012)

BubbaMoose said:


> mmmmm frozen grapes! I have a bunch prebagged in my freezer.
> 
> Green or purple?
> 
> ...



Green. Seems like they freeze better to me


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## Justdogs (Dec 23, 2012)

Amaryllis posted:

<<2. My dog's favorite person is my mother in law. Why? Because my MIL works a lot and doesn't know much about dogs, so her way of dealing with Kabota is to give him treats every time she sees him. Every single time. If your husband wants the dog to like him, he needs to stop with the neck jabs, leash pops and rolling and begin anew with lots and lots of treats.


*What's the point in trying to communicate if you won't use the accepted meanings of words? >>

Hmm..I'm guessing your MIL only visits with the dog, but doesn't live with the dog. What would she do if the dog saw something BETTER than some little treat? I also don't recall seeing where the original poster said ANYTHING about what you and others who answered, um, fabricated her husband supposedly was doing concerning neck jabs and leash pops, etc. She didn't report anything of the kind. Obviously, over the time I've been on this forum, I've seen the venom spewed toward Cesar and it is pretty laughable because obviously the venom spewing people don't get the bigger picture. 

I think I just responded to a post started by Amaryllis concerning a hypothetical situation where a "normally well-behaved dog" slipped its leash and went running into a yard and a bunch of people were running after it and calling it, and obviously the dog didn't respond. Hmmm...maybe you need to get your MIL with her treats. I'm perplexed by your above "tag line" concerning the "accepted meaning of words." Accepted by whom? And since this is a dog forum....are dogs supposed to understand the accepted meaning of words? I say that is ludicrous...dogs are more about non-verbal communications, and YES...energy. 

To the original poster, TattyKassy, I think that your dog is reacting to your husband this way is because he has a growing anxiety over why your dog isn't bonding to him. It is a bad energy. I actually read your post and see that nowhere your husband is jabbing and popping, and all of the other horrid things some people think Cesar is all about. But what I interpret is that your husband wants something too badly, and I would suggest you try to get him to totally relax, and even IGNORE the dog for awhile, go back to the basics and let the dog become curious about your husband. I also think during this time that YOU need to almost ignore the dog, in order to break his comfort zone....it is a simple concept, but not always "easy." 

Shame on people who hysterically think Cesar is all about physical violence. The internet is good, but the internet can also be bad, because people can choose to read and believe what they want and ignore the other side, and the internet masses that are "hysterical" about their views get heard over the calmer, more aware people.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Justdogs, are you not familiar with all of us or the posts we've made about Cesar in the past? Most people here are calm, knowledgeable, and yes, have watched his show and formed their own opinions. Nobody on this thread is being "hysterical" in the least. We have also pointed out that _if_ the husband is using CM's harsher techniques (or even just intimidating the dog, like CM does with hard eye contact and body language), that could explain why the dog is reluctant to come near the husband. People have given a lot of good advice, which you've chosen to ignore.

The other discussion about a loose dog has no relevance to this one. Also, I think you misunderstood the point about the accepted meaning of words. One can use whatever terms they like in everyday life, but when one is posting on a forum, especially a forum devoted to a specific subject, and is using popular terms, one will be understood more clearly if they are using the terms the same way that everyone else does. hueyeats has a bit of an issue with this -- for her, "submissive" means "well-trained" (any dog who listens to her is "submitting to her will"), for example, and "pack leader" means "mom." This has caused a lot of confusion in past threads.


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## Justdogs (Dec 23, 2012)

your response is what I expected. Back-tracking and assuming. What you say is relevant or what is said is certainly different than what I have read.


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

Justdogs said:


> Amaryllis posted:
> 
> <<2. My dog's favorite person is my mother in law. Why? Because my MIL works a lot and doesn't know much about dogs, so her way of dealing with Kabota is to give him treats every time she sees him. Every single time. If your husband wants the dog to like him, he needs to stop with the neck jabs, leash pops and rolling and begin anew with lots and lots of treats.
> 
> ...


You do not seem any calmer than anyone else in this post.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Justdogs said:


> your response is what I expected. Back-tracking and assuming. What you say is relevant or what is said is certainly different than what I have read.


Care to refute specific points, or are you just going to make a rude blanket statement? Because that's not very helpful.


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## KodiBarracuda (Jul 4, 2011)

Crantastic said:


> Sometimes when people say "peach" they mean "kiwi." I hope you like kiwis.


You mean this?









Because I would take a free 'peech' if this is what it meant. Too cute! Shame to all of you that bake one of these into a pie!


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## cookieface (Jul 6, 2011)

KodiBarracuda said:


> You mean this?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie...
But what if pie really means cake?

This thread sure has taken several odd turns.


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## petpeeve (Jun 10, 2010)

hueyeats said:


> CM is one of you guys too... trainers.


Just for the record he is a dog WHISPERER, whatever _that_ is  .

Seriously though ... if anyone ever shows up here at the forum convinced that their dog is in desperate need of some WHISPERING, whatever _that _is  , CM will definitely be my first recommendation. For real.


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

petpeeve said:


> Just for the record he is a dog WHISPERER, whatever _that_ is  .
> 
> Seriously though ... if anyone ever shows up here at the forum convinced that their dog is in desperate need of some WHISPERING, whatever _that _is  , CM will definitely be my first recommendation. For real.


The ironic part is that "horse whisperers" earned that name because they were very quiet and calm and gentle when training horses rather than using force or intimidation to get the horse to do what they wanted. If that was what CM did, I'd be all over it.

It reminds me of other occasions where people choose a term for something that is pretty much the exact opposite of it on purpose.



KodiBarracuda said:


> You mean this?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That...is beyond adorable!


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## OwnedbyACDs (Jun 22, 2013)

MyCharlie said:


> And me three.... The song "Peaches" goes through my head whenever I check back on this thread!
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvcohzJvviQ


I always liked that song hahaha, thanks for bringing back memories


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## OwnedbyACDs (Jun 22, 2013)

Crantastic said:


> Yeah! His name is Floyd and she seems to take great care of him. Good food, lots of walks, and he looks to be happy and in good health. Always nice to see celebs spending a lot of time with their dogs. Here are some photos. One of the captions is wrong, though; Floyd was not a rescue. He came from a good breeder.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah. I don't think there's anyone on this forum that I agree with 100% of the time. There are some people where it seems like the split is around 50/50, haha. Even if I'm arguing with these people half the time, that doesn't mean that I think they're stupid or dislike them. It just means that I disagree about whatever subject we're discussing at the time.


Agreed  the world would be a very boring place if we all agreed all the time, then everyone would be the same & wouldn't be their own special person  that's IMO what makes the world kinda cool.

@justdogs just do a google video search for "kikopup" her videos & blogs helped me immensely with buddy & his shutting down / fear issues with certain things.


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