# How to solve scared dog?



## Kenttheman (Oct 10, 2010)

Since I have been with my girlfriend, one of her Chihuahuas is completely terrified of me. This dog was never abused or mistreated in any way. Its just a tiny Chihuahua that has always been inside and treated very well. Anytime I enter the house, the dog immediately runs under the bed in the master bedroom, and stays there... Will not come out to eat, drink, or anything. We have to put food/water there just so it can not starve while I'm in the house. The dog knows the sound of my car, it will already be hiding under the bed before I even arrive inside the house. If I manage to SNEAK in the house, the dog goes crazy to get away immediately to the bedroom. If I approach the dog too closely, it'll pee, or poop uncontrollably. Someone has held her before while walking towards me and the dog pee'd on them. She has pooped all over the floor before with me trying to approach and pet her.

I have tried several times to become friends with this dog. They have brought her to me (wrapped in a blanket to protect me from fecal matter) so that I could hold her and attempt to become friends. I tried holding her and petting her and talking soothingly to her for house straight. I would offer her ham, or other flavorful food up against her snout and she would not accept it from me. I would actually wait for the dog to YAWN, so that I could sneak the food into its mouth and she would not have a choice but to eat it. And then, once getting the taste of the food, she would actually take it from the hand. Yet, no progress being made, as soon as she is let go, she runs under the bed and hides. This is such a repetitive process. I gave up on trying, NO progress whatsoever.

It appears that if you were not a part of this dogs life by a certain age, then she will be scared to death of you. I am seeking any kind of information that will help me become friends with this dog so she does not have to be trapped under the bed for so long. I have had skiddish dogs before and made them absolutely love me, thats why I think this dog has to be some rare case, I cannot for the life of me see how she is so horrified and will not come through.


----------



## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

Have your GF put the dog on a leash, and sit across the room from you while you ignore it. Don't talk to it, make eye contact, or speak to it. Toss it some really high value treats every now and then. (Something like pieces of hot dog, chicken, etc). Once the dog relaxes while you are in the room (may take a week or so), walk past the dog, ignoring her, and drop treats. I'd shut the bdm doors, and let dog be in same room with you. Have treats with you. If dog approaches, toss treats. If dog eventually sniffs you, ignore it..
Also try going for walks with your GF and dog (on a leash). Stop feeding dog under the bed. Dog will NOT starve. I'd close the bdm doors so the dog can't run to the bdm, but give her a crate in a main room where she can go, yet still see you. You should put the food down where she can see you feeding her, but then move away from the bowl. 
Just ignore the dog for now. Try to let her adjust to your presence, but don't let her hide under the bed.


----------



## MissMutt (Aug 8, 2008)

You should never, ever, EVER force a scared dog in to contact with you. You might think that holding and coddling the dog would be a good experience for her, but, in fact, you are making her fears worse. The sneaking up on her, or sneaking food in to her mouth, etc. has to stop as well. 

I have a couple of questions:

How old is this dog?
Is this dog walked/exercised on a regular basis?
How does this dog react to other people?
Is the dog afraid of anything else? (Loud noises, certain sights, smells, etc)

I don't think that dropping treats is going to do much of anything for this dog at this point - you've tried giving her treats and now she might very well associate taking food from you with the chance to get away from you (ex. you give her food -> she takes it -> you then leave her alone). My dog does this sometimes in scary situations - as if she knows that taking the food is kind of the way to get out of the bad situation.

I think that you should just leave her alone for a while. Weeks. Let her get accustomed to you coming in to the house and you NOT interacting with her at all. Let her hide. Let her stress hormones subside (wrapping her in a blanket and handing her to you is a terribly scary thing for her to go through). The dog should have a crate where no one (including you and your girlfriend) will EVER bother her (her meals should be fed in there to build up the positive association, and she can spend small amounts of time in there when your girlfriend is home for her to get accustomed to it). THEN after some time you can block off the bedroom and let her find another place to hide/observe you (hopefully the crate). But for now, please, leave this dog alone for a while.


----------



## kosie (Oct 9, 2010)

My experience with our Jack Russell is to let the dog feel that he / she is in control of what is happening or what will happen next. I also think it is important to lower oneself to the height of the dog - do not approach the dog from above, but from the same level or lower. To be approached by someone 5 times your own height must be a frightening experience.


----------



## MissMutt (Aug 8, 2008)

I think that approaching this dog at all right now is a bad idea.


----------



## winniec777 (Apr 20, 2008)

I agree with MissMutt -- do what she says. If the dog is reacting to the sound of your car, i.e. before she even sees you, she's already over threshhold and a dog that is over threshhold is not in a frame of mind to learn anything. So treat tossing at this point won't accomplish anything -- that's a great technique to try when the dog can tolerate being in the same room with you without reacting and that's way, way down the road. And forcing her to be near you without an escape hatch is only making things more terrifying/worse for her. (Imagine a deranged killer in the room with you - would you want the door out locked or unlocked, open or closed?)

I have the same questions as MM - is the dog afraid of other people? Men only? Just in certain situations or always? How is she outside and other places? Confident or fearful? "Always been inside" is a bit of a clue - sounds like she may not have been socialized and exposed to lots of different people and environments when young and that will make a dog fearful.


----------



## Kenttheman (Oct 10, 2010)

The dog has always been inside, and just to clear things up.. I HAVE been ignoring this dog very about... 6 months now. She still hides under the bed every single time. I simply copied and pasted this question that I've already asked a LONG time ago. So giving her time is not really helping. If it is best, I can try blocking off escapes for her to get away from me, yet not paying attention to her for awhile, except tossing treats towards her. But I cannot stress enough how EXTREME her fear is. She has never been walked or anything, just an inside dog. Umm, I don't really know what to say. I own a border collie and spend nearly ever second I'm not working or cooking with him, I love animals and I hate having to have my girlfriend's dog in hiding the entire time I'm over.

Also, to my knowledge, the dog is not scared of anything else. Just people she has not been exposed to after a certain age in her life. I'd like to say she is about 2-3 years old. I appreciate the help, but this seems like such a lost cause. Again, I have been staying at this house for over a YEAR now. I don't sleep there, but I visit there every single day. So this dog has had plenty of time to adjust to me being there.


----------



## MissMutt (Aug 8, 2008)

The fact that she is not walked and always kept inside is definitely a cause for this. Just because a dog is small and can go on wee-wee pads in the house or in the yard does not mean they shouldn't be taken out and exercised/socialized. This dog should have been out in the world as a puppy, meeting people and experiencing new things. That should have continued well in to her adulthood, if not forever. This is definitely part of the problem, and ABSOLUTELY why she is so unaccepting of new people.

That said, I do NOT recommend just throwing this dog out in to the world now and taking her on walks to get her used to people. Your girlfriend should, however, gradually get the dog used to being outside. First just walk her in the front of the house, then maybe up the block at a quiet hour, etc. This dog is so afraid because she has missed out on critical life experiences that would have prevented these fears. SHE needs to do this, not you (since the dog is so afraid of you).

If it has been that long with no improvement, I would suggest getting a behaviorist involved. Medication and/or calming supplements may be in order. That's beyond fear.. that's really a very phobic reaction that this dog is exhibiting.


----------



## Cracker (May 25, 2009)

MissMutt said:


> The fact that she is not walked and always kept inside is definitely a cause for this. Just because a dog is small and can go on wee-wee pads in the house or in the yard does not mean they shouldn't be taken out and exercised/socialized. This dog should have been out in the world as a puppy, meeting people and experiencing new things. That should have continued well in to her adulthood, if not forever. This is definitely part of the problem, and ABSOLUTELY why she is so unaccepting of new people.
> 
> That said, I do NOT recommend just throwing this dog out in to the world now and taking her on walks to get her used to people. Your girlfriend should, however, gradually get the dog used to being outside. First just walk her in the front of the house, then maybe up the block at a quiet hour, etc. This dog is so afraid because she has missed out on critical life experiences that would have prevented these fears. SHE needs to do this, not you (since the dog is so afraid of you).
> 
> If it has been that long with no improvement, I would suggest getting a behaviorist involved. Medication and/or calming supplements may be in order. That's beyond fear.. that's really a very phobic reaction that this dog is exhibiting.


+1.

I know you feel badly that the dog is frightened of you. No one likes to be seen as scary when they are good, dog friendly folks. 
The problem here is with the dog, and with how it was socialized (or not)..this pup is afraid of all new people and that is just plain sad. This is a suffering dog and long term strss is not only emotionally unhealthy but can contribute to physical health issues as well, just like with humans. 
Your girlfriend should really look into speaking to a veterinary behaviourist about calming aids and gradual socialization with the world. There are some great non pharma products and some great pharma products to try, choosing the right one to decrease the chemical side effects of stress and fear will go a long way towards helping the pup learn that the world and the people in it do not have to be TERRIFYING. She may not ever become super social, but she can certainly live a life with less stress. 

A great website about behaviour mod if fearful dogs is www.fearfuldogs.com


----------



## JackPDB (Sep 10, 2010)

That's a fantastic website, Cracker—I'm bookmarking that one.

Kent, I feel your pain; we rescued a Husky a couple of years ago, and she bonded instantly with my wife, but was terrified of me. With patience and time we've made a lot of progress, but _still_ give her the willies—she'll walk with me, but she makes it plain that she'd rather not. I've had to resign myself to the fact that I'll never be her favorite, but you take what you can get and you keep on plugging.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
[email protected]
dog beds and more


----------



## bulldavis (Aug 7, 2010)

Hey, this is a longshot but call the producers of "The Dog Wisperer". This is just the kind of situation they love, espacially if you're a photogenic couple with a nice home.


----------



## winniec777 (Apr 20, 2008)

bulldavis said:


> Hey, this is a longshot but call the producers of "The Dog Wisperer". This is just the kind of situation they love, espacially if you're a photogenic couple with a nice home.


Words. Just. Fail.


----------



## MissMutt (Aug 8, 2008)

Cesar Millan is just about the worst person in the world to deal with fearful dogs, just FYI.


----------

