# I feel like I'm absolutely failing my puppy :( Am I harming her?



## PixieDust (Apr 8, 2016)

So while I'm not new to having dogs around, I am new to raising one. Growing up my parents trained and raised our dogs, so being the sole provider for our new little one is way more challenging and difficult than I had anticipated.

We adopted Pixie about 3 weeks ago and we estimate she'll be about 4 months old at the end of this month. She's been at the shelter a good portion of her life, so I know it's going to take some time to train her but I feel like I'm doing it all wrong and it's my fault she's not understanding.

It feels like every other day something else is happening that is making me feel like I'm hurting her and a terrible dog owner. A few nights ago she had hair in her poop and we didn't know how to get it out. I read online never to pull it (which my husband did for a second before I told him stop and she squeaked in pain) and so we eventually cut it. I was SO afraid we had messed up her insides and that she was blocked cause we couldn't get it out all the way. Fortunately since then she's gone numerous times so I feel she's okay, but I still feel really bad about the whole thing because it was my hair she ate.

Also, we're moving house, so everything has just been really crazy. She has this one chicken flavored chew toy that she just loves and as we were moving it seemed to be occupying her rather well so we just let her have it for awhile so we could get some work done. Well, she woke up in the middle of the night vomiting because of it. I threw the toy away and though she now seems alert and happy and okay, I still want to cry when I think of it and I'm so afraid it could still damage her somehow.

She's also not catching on the whole potty training thing, which again, I feel is my fault. About 60% of the time she pees on her pad, the other 40% on a rug or magazine or something that I think she associates with a pee pad. She always poops just wherever. We're trying to teach her to go outside only, but it doesn't seem to be sticking. Because my husband and I both have night class Tuesdays and Thursdays, we take her to my mom's to watch her so she won't be alone all day. This morning my mom texts me to tell me Pixie is going potty all over the house, not just her pad. I feel terrible.

I don't blame Pixie for any of these things, I know it's my fault and this morning especially I just feel like the worst puppy owner ever. I love her very much and I'm doing my best, but I wonder if I'm going to wind up hurting her? I could really use some advice or comfort or anything.


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## KayaScout (Nov 13, 2015)

Welcome to new puppy parenthood! There is an adjustment period for you, not just your puppy and I know it is easier said than done, but try not to get too freaked out.

Don't worry about the hair. Dog's stomachs can handle more than you think. Especially if she is eating a pooping normally, id say she is probably just fine. There is nothing you can do, you shed your hair just like she does so don't feel bad.

Are you 100% positive it was the toy that made her vomit? What kind/type/brand of toy was it? If you want to occupy her, try giving her a Kong. You can stuff it with peanut butter, yogurt, cheese, anything that she really loves and then freeze it. It is a safe toy to be left with unsupervised (assuming it is of appropriate size) and it will occupy her for a long while.

What are you doing for potty training? Maybe consider not using a pee pad. She is still a little puppy so she needs to get used to a feeding/potty schedule. Take her out every 20 minutes. I know that sounds excessive but her bladder/bowels cant hold it for very long when she is young and this will reduce the risk of accidents in the house if she is just outside frequently. Also take her outside to potty after a nap, after play, after a car ride - pretty much anything. Tether her to you. If she is leashed to you, she can't have an accident somewhere and you find it later on. If you cant supervise her, crate her. Is your mom able to come to your house to watch her? She might just be confused since she is young and still new to your family - she doesn't know how to ask to go out at your mom's house. And make sure your mom is following the same EXACT rules that you do at home. if there is no consistency, it wont work. Use a cleaner with enzymes (Nature's Miracle is great) to eliminate the urine smell so she wont want to continue to go in that spot.

We got our puppy when she was 3 months old and, luckily, she was potty trained within the week. But that doesn't mean we weren't faced with many other issues. You are not hurting her, you just need to find a schedule and rhythm that works for your household . Make sure she has gotten her energy out physically and mentally, get her on a feeding/potty schedule, crate her when you cant supervise her, give her safe toys to occupy her when she is in the crate. I say that raising a puppy is harder than a toddler but that's just me haha. You'll all get there


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## Hiraeth (Aug 4, 2015)

The above is all excellent advice and exactly what I would have said. Just wanted to add that it's normal to feel overwhelmed when you've made such a big addition to your life. 

You're not harming her, you've provided her with a caring home outside of the shelter and both you and she will acclimatize as time goes on!


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## zoelynn13 (Oct 6, 2013)

Aww, I think the fact that you're so worried just goes to show how much you care about your puppy. 

Don't worry about the hair; as someone with long hair myself, my cats and dogs have all had at least one long-hair poop incident. I never worry about it, they have iron stomachs. I'm sure we eat our own hair sometimes too, and don't even notice. And dogs puke sometimes as well, don't feel bad about that either. It might have not even been the chew; sometimes they just throw up. I agree about getting her a kong; Luna loved hers as a puppy, and we used it a lot when we traveled. I'd just plug the little hole in the bottom and fill it with some of her kibble and some water and pop it in the freezer if I didn't have anything else available. 

When I got Luna she was around 4-5 months and we did a lot of moving around. I took a trip to another province with her to my mother's place. She peed on the floor by the door a few times, and she play-nipped my mom too. I took her to a couple of my friend's houses and she peed on the floor there too! Everyone loved her anyways. We also moved houses, and stopped at my boyfriend's parent's house along the way for christmas. She had one accident there as well, and one in the new house. Puppies have accidents, especially when they're first in new environments, it's nothing to feel bad about. I agree with Kaya for the potty training stuff; once I took away any chance of her having an accident where I couldn't see her, the potty training sped up 100x. 

All i'm saying is; don't worry! Puppies are resilient little things, just keep putting in the effort and things will work out  She's lucky to be out of the shelter and into a home that cares about her. Don't forget to take lots of pictures (my biggest puppyhood regret)! Once she hit adolescence you're going to look back on this time and miss it!


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## elrohwen (Nov 10, 2011)

Everybody else gave great advice, so I'm just going to say try to calm down and enjoy her while she's small. You're doing just fine! Dogs eat stuff, they puke it up, no big deal. It'll happen more times through her life and you just have to roll with it and figure out if it requires a vet or not.


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## KayaScout (Nov 13, 2015)

elrohwen said:


> Everybody else gave great advice, so I'm just going to say try to calm down and enjoy her while she's small. You're doing just fine! Dogs eat stuff, they puke it up, no big deal. It'll happen more times through her life and you just have to roll with it and figure out if it requires a vet or not.


Just agreeing with what everyone said that is similar to this. Don't stress and worry too much and enjoy her while she is a baby because you will for sure miss it! She wont be goofy and floppy forever so enjoy it while she still doesn't use her brakes and cant quite jump up on the couch


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## PixieDust (Apr 8, 2016)

Thank you guys so much, I really really needed the kind words! She's just so tiny (3.7 lbs!) and I feel like I have to protect her from absolutely everything. She didn't come from a great place when she was dropped off at the shelter, scabs and missing fur on her shoulder and top of her head, and when I brought her home and took her to the vet we found out she had worms. She's so much better now, but I guess it's just instinct to feel like anything could happen to her at any time!

I really appreciate the suggestions on a better toy for her (I wish I could remember the brand her old toy was, it was something from the puppy aisle at Petco) and the Nature's Miracle. I think we just aren't being as diligent with putting her outside as often as we should, and I'm going to talk to my husband about it so we can step it up. Fortunately she's never gone potty on any furniture or her bed as she seems to understand that's not an okay place to go, and she's good about waking us up at night (always 2 and 5am ) so we can take her out. 

Anyway, you guys are great  I love my little Pixie and I want to make sure I give her the best home possible!!


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## Jen2010 (Feb 12, 2013)

It sounds like you're just stressed out from having a new puppy and worrying about moving. You're being way too hard on yourself! You're doing just fine; it will take time for both of you to adjust to the new situation.

Potty training can be very frustrating. It's takes a lot of consistency and constant watching of the puppy. I had both of my puppies right from 7 weeks and 14 weeks and it still took them almost a year each to be FULLY housebroken. It's a lot of work! I would just get rid of the puppy pads and be super diligent about taking her out on a regular schedule (plus again after she eats, drinks, or plays).


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## ShepherdMama (Jan 28, 2016)

It can be so overwhelming and I know exactly how you feel! I felt the same way when I brought home my puppy. Thankfully he is housetrained and was in about a week, and only had one accident, but that was out of his control because he was having such terrible diarrhea at the time and couldn't hold it all in until we could get him outside. Puppies eat things and puke and everything and you just have to stay calm and look at it as calmly as you can. Most things don't require a trip to the vet, but always be vigilent about everything they can put in their mouths. It's amazing what they can sniff out and get into!


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## David94 (Apr 20, 2016)

Hello there!

It sounds like you are being way too hard on yourself. It's not anyone's fault it just takes time. Your heart is in the right place you love her and want the best for her, you can't go wrong there! Just try your best and if you have a question check out this forum or call the vet. I think you're doing just fine!

Best wishes,
David


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