# My dog will only listen to my dad?



## lc0915 (Jul 25, 2016)

Hello there, we have a 10 month old GSD/husky mix called Layla, and she is our family's first dog. She is very cute, very quick to learn. A little scared of strangers but we are working to socialise her more and get her used to other people. 

My question is, ever since we got her in December, she has always been more obedient to my dad. She will come when he calls her, and goes downstairs when he tells her. She will not do this for me, my brothers, my sister or my mum AT ALL. 

I have thought for a long time that this is just a "becoming a pack leader" issue, and that she simply does not see me as authoritative enough. But my dad uses the more violent routes of teaching her, such as hard jabs to her neck and shoves her when she jumps up to him (because he called her over). The other day she got a excited seeing another dog at the beach and my dad kicked her to make her calm down. He gets this from watching Cesar Milan a lot on Animal Planet. So how come she still comes back to him again and again?

I have never used these kind of techniques, only positive reinforcement with treats and praise when she does something good, and I withhold attention when she does something bad. I get really worried because my sister and I are the ones at home most days, and therefore the ones feeding, walking and looking after her, because my mum and dad work long shifts and are only home in the evenings. 

I would really like to know how to improve my behaviour so that she will be more submissive to me, as she is with my dad. I am hoping it will make it much easier when it comes to walks, and training her to be calm around other dogs. 

Thanks


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## ireth0 (Feb 11, 2013)

She is most likely scared of the consequences of not listening to him. Do you want her to be scared of you too?

No, of course not. You want a partnership based on teamwork and mutual respect and that doesn't happen overnight. 

Harsh methods produce quick results in the immediate, but have consequences down the road. Keep doing what you're doing, and try to discourage your dad from continuing to abuse your dog.


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## Shell (Oct 19, 2009)

She's scared of your father. She obeys because the consequences of not obeying are painful and frightening. That's a horrible kind of relationship to have with a dog. When your dog trusts you and bonds with you, its a wonderful thing. Harsh punishments destroy trust.



> I have thought for a long time that this is just a "becoming a pack leader" issue, and that she simply does not see me as authoritative enough. But my dad uses the more violent routes of teaching her, such as hard jabs to her neck and shoves her when she jumps up to him (because he called her over). The other day she got a excited seeing another dog at the beach and *my dad kicked her to make her calm down*.


Kicking a dog is not training. It's abuse. 

I'm an adult and my dogs are mine alone so I do have control that understandably you don't have (since your's is a family dog), but if anyone intentionally kicked my dogs, they wouldn't get within 20 feet of them ever again. 

The whole concept of "pack leader" is bull pucky and Cesar is a TV personality with shiny teeth who needs to have a big disclaimer that says "Don't try this at home" 


Also, be aware that kicking, shoving and poking at a dog can lead to a dog who gets tired of being abused and bites back. Only, somehow it rarely happens that the dog bites the person who is the one that actually kicks them because the dog is scared of that person. Instead, it always seems to be some poor kid or other family member that the dog bites out of stress and fear.


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## Hiraeth (Aug 4, 2015)

Probably not what you want to hear, but if your dad is going to continue to kick and otherwise abuse your dog, she deserves to be in a different home. I'd get a license plate # and call the cops on anyone I saw outright kicking a dog in public.


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## lc0915 (Jul 25, 2016)

Thanks for the replies guys. It's probably worth saying again that my dad is not usually home during the days, and when he comes home in the evenings, I try to make sure my dog is in her crate for bedtime already. I wouldn't want you to think that she gets treated badly on a regular basis or anything, she is very loved by my whole family. I just think that my dad has been poorly informed by tv shows like Cesar's, and he seems to think that his way is the best way. It's definitely not, but I'm trying to discourage it and teach him better ways of being with the dog. 

Thanks again for the replies


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## cookieface (Jul 6, 2011)

I agree with the suggestions of sticking with positive reinforcement-based methods; in the long run, they'll work out better for everyone. You might try increasing the value of your rewards - better treats, more fun, great toys, etc.



lc0915 said:


> Thanks for the replies guys. It's probably worth saying again that my dad is not usually home during the days, and when he comes home in the evenings, I try to make sure my dog is in her crate for bedtime already. I wouldn't want you to think that she gets treated badly on a regular basis or anything, she is very loved by my whole family. I just think that my dad has been poorly informed by tv shows like Cesar's, and he seems to think that his way is the best way. *It's definitely not, but I'm trying to discourage it and teach him better ways of being with the dog. *
> 
> Thanks again for the replies


This is encouraging to read. Remember that positive reinforcement works on people, too.


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