# Dog does NOT want to be held



## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

I hope I'm posting this in the correct forum - if not, I'm sure someone will inform me.  (Sorry for the long post)

About a month ago, a little dog showed up at our house. I'm sure he was dumped there. It didn't take us long to determine that he had either come from an abusive environment or had never been around people or had the chance to socialize with them. We couldn't get within ten feet of him. Every little movement or sound we made frightened him greatly. I've been working with him every day, basically just being around him and not forcing myself on him or forcing him to do anything. I usually just sit down, on the floor if possible, and let him come to me if he wants. I always let him sniff my hand when I approach him. About 1 1/2 weeks ago he finally let me start petting him. Now I can pet him pretty much all over. However it's best if I start under his chin and then work my way to his ears, maybe down his back, and if I'm lucky, sometimes he'll roll over to get his belly scratched, which he loves. Buf if I make ANY kind of attempt to hold him, he bolts and won't come back to me for a while.

Yesterday, I took him in to the vet to have him neutered and to get his shots. Maybe I should have waited to do this, but I really wanted him to be checked out and wanted to make sure he didn't have Heartworms or other internal parasites. In order to do this, we had to give him a sedative. Even once the sedative kicked in, we thought we would never be able to catch him to get him to the vet. He was groggy but could still move very fast. We almost gave up. When I was finally able to catch him and had him in my arms, he fought it briefly, but then just became quiet and calm. Of course he remained this way the remainder of the day due to the surgery and anesthesia. The vet and his staff were able to handle him very well. (I don't think they believe me when I tell them he won't let me hold him.) Anyway, when I picked him up after his surgery, he was still groggy, which is normal. When I got home, I took him out of his carrier and laid him in his bed. He immediately jumped up and ran around like nothing had ever happened to him. I was so dissapointed! I had hoped he would still be groggy enough that I could hold him for a while and maybe help him get over that fear. There went that chance!

This morning he is doing fine - eating and drinking as normal. We put him back out in the back yard with our other two dogs. He loves our other dogs! He loves to play with them as well as us. He is just adorable to be around! Except we can't hold him! The vet wanted to try him on some "doggie Prozac" for a month to see if that helps with his anxiety. If it does, he said he would keep him on it for a few months then ween him off of it. It would be just long enough for the dog to hopefully warm up to us handling him a little more. 

His name is Harley, and he looks like he is part Chihuahua. He's about 1 year old and weighs 7 lbs., which I'm assuming that is as big as he'll get. It would just make things so much easier if we could hold/handle him. I can't give him a bath or put his Frontline drops on him, and getting him to the vet is a struggle. I tried to put a collar on him the other day so he could start getting used to that, but that didn't work at all.

Any advice from anyone as to how to get him to warm up to being handled? I am desparate and would be greatful for any advice. Anyone else ever dealt with this?


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## SunSiberians (May 7, 2007)

Maybe you could try sitting on the floor with dog treats. Let him eat them as he gets closer and closer to you and each time you do this, bring him a little closer to your body each time. Hopefully eventually you'd be able to get him to walk right onto your lap. Once he's on your lap, don't hug him or hold him, just let him stand there and leave when he needs to. It may take a lot of time and patience. 

Good luck with your new cutie!


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

I certainly try that. I love these critters SO much and it kills me not to be able to love and hug on one!!


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## briteday (Feb 10, 2007)

I have seen a lot of these kinds of small dogs at the shelter where I volunteer. 

The only things I can suggest are patience, love, and food. Give him some time to warm up. 

We have had our chi mix pound puppy for about 8 months now. Our vet estimated her to be about a year old when we got her. It has only been within the last couple of months that she is starting to see us as her forever home. Previous to that, she would run away if the door was open or she if could sneak out of the yard. She didn't really bond with any of us and tormented the other animals in the house. She was also a bite risk, having bitten the officer who picked her up as a stray. So we waited 6 months to do obedience classes with her. When my daughter did the class with the dog, they were the stars of the group. We found that her dog loves agility and working obedience commands for treats. The dog now waits patiently for her turn to be fed, sits patiently at an open door, and curls up in my daughter's lap...even while she's doing homework! She still has her moments but they are fewer as time goes on. 

I hope the examples of our experience gives you some hope that one day your dog will bond with you. Right now, your dog has been in a sub-standard environment for a year and has only been with you for a month. I always tell people who are adopting animals at the shelter that it may take as long as the time a dog was with a previous owner (in your case one year) for them to understand that your home is very different... loving, kind, and generous. Have patience.


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## BoxMeIn21 (Apr 10, 2007)

I agree, it's going to take time, especially since it sounds like he either wasn't used to human contact or if he was abused. SunSiberians and briteday gave some great advice and with his age you have a good chance at gaining his trust, but take it slow. Keep in mind that in the dog world hugging and holding does not happen, we may find it warm and fuzzy but it's actually quite the opposite for our dogs. The act of hugging or placing an arm over the neck or head is quite a threatening gesture in dog speak. While our domesticated friends can be taught to tolerate this gesture from us humans, we need to keep in mind that not all dogs love it and we should respect this from those who find it less than favorable. Bless you for saving this little one. I am sure he'll come around - especially since you have other dogs, he most likely will take cues off of them and learn to trust you.


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## Captbob (Feb 2, 2007)

I see this at the shelter, also. Just be patient and let the dog set the pace. I find that my sitting on the floor helps many times, to get the dog to move closer.


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

Thanks to all who have responded so far! This definitely gives me some hope! I was beginning to think I was the only one in this situation. We had not planned to keep him when he initially showed up at our house - in fact, we had found a home for him. But when we discovered he was not in favor of human interaction, we had no choice but to keep him and work with him. He's only been here a month and we've fallen in love with him so he's here to stay! (He's definitely here to stay after a $400 vet bill yesterday!  ) He is the cutest little thing when he plays and runs - he hops and prances like a little deer! Keep the encouragement coming - I certainly need it!


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## Lightwingcreations (May 7, 2007)

Bless you, bless you for taking in this little lost soul. I'm so glad you are willing to work with him, so many people would not. It gives me hope for humanity when I see the outpouring of compassion for a creature thought of by so many to be inferior to humans. Enough mushy stuff... I want pictures of little Harley!


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

I just added Harley's pic as my avatar. Thanks for your encouragement! (His official name is Harley Pedro but we usually just call him Harley. I looked up the meaning of Harley: it means "wild spirited", which is pretty fitting for him!) I love all of my critters (3 dogs, 2 cats and 2 aquariums), but with Harley, I can't wait to get up in the morning and see him and I can't wait to get home from work and see him! We have no children, so my critters are my focus. 

Also, since the vet gave him a bath and cleaned his ears up, his right ear no longer flops over. Funny - he goes in to be neutered and his ear comes out standing up! Go figure! LOL!


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## BoxMeIn21 (Apr 10, 2007)

What a cutie - good luck with Harley .


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## SunSiberians (May 7, 2007)

Awe he is a cutie! I'm so glad you're working with him. Please let us know how everything works out - this guy will hopefully be your little cuddle buddy.


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

That's what I'm hoping! Thanks!!


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## poodleholic (Mar 15, 2007)

Harley is just darling! Kudos for giviing this boy a wonderful forever home!

To help the bonding process, try hand feeding him his meals, and place a nightgown or a teeshirt you've worn in his bed, so your scent is with him when and where he sleeps. You're doing everything right, and you're correct to not push him too fast, too soon. 

Keep us posted on this precious little guy!


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

I hand feed him his treats, but I wil start hand feeding him his meals a little more. I will also do the t-shirt thing. I've done that before with other pets when we had to leave for a few days. Yes - he is a cutie! I spent a lot of time with him yesterday after work as I do every day, just sitting on the floor of our deck and letting him come to me and play when he wanted, which is quite often. He loves for me to pet him! Of course, I love it, too! Thanks!


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## Curbside Prophet (Apr 28, 2006)

The Tinman wanted a heart, the Cowardly Lion courage, and the Scarecrow wanted a brain. In the end, it didn't matter what they had inside where no one could see. Outwardly, they turned out ultimately to be loving, courageous, and intelligent. I'm sure with your help this dog will be all of this and more.


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

This is just a brief update to my original posting. I managed to hold Harley for about 45 minutes last night. I hadn't planned on attempting to, but while I was petting him, I found my arm in a position that I thought maybe I could easily pick him up. I was in a chair. I guess I was curious as to how he would react. He fought me at first, but once I got him in my arms and settled down, he was fine. After a while, he even let out a little doggie sigh. At one point, he almost went to sleep. I also gave him plenty of treats and a few bites of a hot dog while I was holding him, hoping that he would realize that being held is a good thing. Maybe I made a mistake by insisting on holding him but once he was settled in my arms, it was such a blessing. Selfish on my part, I know. After I sat him back down on the ground, I was afraid he wouldn't come near me again, but he was right at my feet as he always is. 

He also has a nervous little habit of peeing when he's excited or nervous. I assume that is common with a dog like this? He doesn't do it every time he greets me, just some times. He also pees on the deck sometimes instead of going to the yard.


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## threedognite (Feb 10, 2007)

Ok, I hate to be the bad person here but you are telling us that you can't hold a dog that weighs, what, ten pounds? I have four dogs and one weighs 140 pounds. He hates to be bathed or have his nails clipped but it has to be done so I clip a short leash on him outside and attach it to a very thick eye bolt that's attached to a tree. He can whine all he wants but he isn't going anywhere.
One of the reasons your dog won't allow you to hold him is because there are some dogs who don't like to be held no matter what. Perhaps you give out weak energy and he doesn't see you as a pack leader and that's why he doesn't comply when it's time to take a bath. 
You never ask a dog to do anything, you make the dog do what YOU want it to. I'm glad you decided to keep him instead of turning him into a shelter. I wish you tons of luck and love.


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

When I say he fights me I mean he fights with his teeth as well. Plus, since we have no idea what kind of environment he has come from, we're just trying to take things slow with him as far as reconditioning him. He's doing quite well considering when he first came to us he wouldn't come within 20 feet of us. Now, he loves to be petted and played with. Our other dogs are 90 lbs and 30 lbs and believe me, they get a bath whether they like it or not! (much to their dismay!) 

I came to this forum looking for encouragement from those who have been in this same situation with an abused/feral dog. So far, that's mostly what I've received - encouragement and well wishes.


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## Curbside Prophet (Apr 28, 2006)

You're on the right track LHARTWICK. Don't be bother by our resident CM. To your continued success.


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

Thank you, Curbside Prophet! Your encouragement means a lot! 

I know there are far worse problems in the world right now than reconditioning this baby, but he is my passion right now. But then, all of my animals are because I consider them family and God's creatures. And God's creatures are always a blessing! Thanks again!


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## Amaya-Mazie-Marley (Apr 15, 2007)

I had the same problem with one of my babies when I first got her. She wasn't well socialized at all, so what I did was lay on my stomach in the floor and just lay there, lol sometimes ended up taking a nap. It took a week or two but eventually she would come take treats from me, and a couple weeks later she would curl up in my arms, still on the floor, to sleep. After that went on for about a week and a half I tried picking her up, she seemed really nervous at first, but now, she won't leave my lap!


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

UPDATE:

It's been a while since I've visited the boards so I wanted to post a little update re: Harley. We've had him almost 5 months now and he's doing much better. I've done a little clicker training with him and he will now actually jump up on the bench with me and half way get into my lap to be petted. He LOVES for me to rub his head and scratch his belly. I can lift up the front half of his body about half way (if that makes sense) but he's not ready to be picked up totally. But I think that will come in time. I just keep reminding myself of how he was when he first came to us and how far he has come.

I would LOVE to bathe him. Since it's so hot here right now, he lays in the shade in the cool dirt so his white fur has a hint of brown to it. But I am able to put his Frontline on him and he'll even tolerate unscented baby wipes as a mini-bath. I'm just afraid to give him a real bath right now for fear of reversing any progress I've made with him. Of course, most dogs don't like baths anyway so I guess he'd get over it. Any thoughts on this from anyone???

Also, he's on Prozac (10MG) right now. How long are dogs typically on this and how long does it take to wean them off when the time comes???


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## FriendsOfZoe (Aug 7, 2007)

Perhaps his not wanting to be held is a blessing in disguise? I know too many people who always want to carry their dogs just because they're little--so they never let the dogs just be dogs! Of course, there are times when you'll need to pick him up (or at least have him sit still), but I don't think it's too tragic if he would rather walk than be carried.

You never gave an update on the collar/leash training? How does he do with that now? (If he enjoys walking on a leash, he doesn't really need to be picked up very much).

Can't help you with your other questions--just wanted to wish you best of luck with your future with Harley. Your story just brightened my day. It's nice to know that there are still some really good, selfless people in the world.


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## LHARTWICK (May 10, 2007)

Certainly - I try to let him be a dog as much as possible. But sometimes it would be easier if I could handle him more, such as for a vet visit or baths. 

Honestly, I haven't begun collar or leash training with him yet. He's still getting used to being around us. I'm trying to just let him set the pace, so to speak. I'll work on that at some point. We sure have a lot of fun with him though! He's so active and playful! I think that's his nature since he's part Chiuauaha (sp?). He's an absolute hoot! He also loves our other 2 dogs.

We leave in 2 weeks for vacation and I'm trying to find someone who can come over and feed them and give him his meds while we are gone. I'm pretty stressed about that right now!


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## Val (Jul 27, 2007)

LHARTWICK said:


> We leave in 2 weeks for vacation and I'm trying to find someone who can come over and feed them and give him his meds while we are gone. I'm pretty stressed about that right now!


Have you asked the vet? I haven't had to go on vacation yet since we got our dog but I did ask my vet about that. They don't charge near as much as a kennel and the vet could give the meds quite easily. Just a thought.

Val


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