# Getting Slight Depression after getting puppy?



## Stroud (Jul 26, 2008)

Well heres the situation, our family just got a 4 month old puppy about a week ago, and i was thrilled (it was a suprise to me kinda). I have wanted a dog for as long as i can remeber. I have babysitted dogs for weekends and loved it.

Well after about a week with our new puppy, im feeling slightly depressed for some reason. She is sort of potty trained, meaning she has only had 2 accidents, and she is very well behaved.

The thing is, when i step back and look on things, all i can think about is "alright, now i have to plan everything that i do around this new family member." I would normally just think, "well at least the love we have together is unconditional." But she seems to have the "doesnt care about anything" attitude. She seems unchanged by things that happen around her, and it makes me feel depressed.

Is this something that will pass once she is fully trained and i dont have to worry about her so much?

Thanks for all the help.


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## Esther (Jul 2, 2008)

What do you mean by "doesn't care about anything" attitude? What are your expectations of 'a dog' and how does 'this dog' not meet these expectations? One week in the house? A puppy can take a lot of energy. And every dog is a unique character. It takes time to get used to each other, get to know each other and bond with each other.


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## Stroud (Jul 26, 2008)

Well she doesnt want to play with humans. I have tried everything i can think of, and she doesnt respond to any of it. She will play with other dogs though.

She doesnt seem to care when people are around, and she just lie's down. With other dogs i have been around, they are very energetic around me and other people, but with her its just like she doesnt care. I know every dog is different, but its hard to stay happy about her when she ignores me and the rest of my family.


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## Esther (Jul 2, 2008)

She is 4 months. Do you know how and where she spend her first months? What kind of breed is the dog?


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## Stroud (Jul 26, 2008)

The family we get her from had 2 pure bred golden retrievers who had puppies and were giving them away after about 3 months. She has all her shots and all that.


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## Esther (Jul 2, 2008)

I'm not sure what exactly is the problem, but if you think something is wrong, than the first thing I would do is visit the vet to see if she is healthy. If she is, than just give her and yourself some time. Take her to a puppytraining to socialize her and yourself with puppybehavior and find out the things she likes to do. My first dog was the quietest from the nest. He's a small munsterlander, which is suppost to be a very energetic breed. But he never really liked to play either and lay around quiet in the house a lot. He's still a very quiet dog, but I did find out what he likes to do and we can have a lot of fun together. He's just not very energetic or chearful all the time, but we have a very close bond. Can the breeder tell you anything about how she was as a pup with them? Perhaps this will help you understand her temperament.


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## allison (Jun 26, 2008)

Stroud, I think I understand what you mean about depression. You mentioned that you now plan your life around the dog. Maybe you should start thinking about acclimating the dog into your life as it is already. You don't have to change your routines that much, just include your new puppy into them. Dogs will basically do whatever you train them to do. If your family eats at a certain time, then feed your dog right after that. If you go to bed at 10, your dog does too, etc. You don't have to spend every waking moment with your dog, in fact you shouldn't. Are you crate training? Leave the puppy in the crate for 15 minutes and go do something else. Gradually build up that time. As far as playing... you may have to teach your puupy how to play. My 7 year old dog doesn't fetch, etc. He just likes to be petted and chew his bones. A week is a very short time. I have had my dog for 1 month and we are still getting used to each other. I have learned that patience and commitment are key to dog ownership. If your puppy is housetraining well and also well behaved... that's great! Your puppy seems to be blending in very well. Get her some training, which will help you two bond. Make sure to include your family in the training ,too. Don't worry... things will get better for you! It is a huge change to have a dog. Keep us posted! The people in this forum are very knowledgeable! They have helped me tremendously!


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## Stroud (Jul 26, 2008)

Thanks Allison, that helped out a lot knowing i dont have to constantly be on the job with her.

I still feel as though i cant leave the house. She digs, and we keep an eye out for her when shes outside. 

Am i pretty much stuck at the house till she goes through training and all that?


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## wvasko (Dec 15, 2007)

You should have got a goldfish


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## Canadian Dog (Nov 3, 2007)

Stroud said:


> Thanks Allison, that helped out a lot knowing i dont have to constantly be on the job with her.
> 
> I still feel as though i cant leave the house. She digs, and we keep an eye out for her when shes outside.
> 
> Am i pretty much stuck at the house till she goes through training and all that?


If she is crate trained, you should be able to leave her for a few hours and know she is safe. A crate is a very good investment.


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## alphadoginthehouse (Jun 7, 2008)

wvasko said:


> You should have got a goldfish


Be nice!


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## Sakura77 (Jul 7, 2008)

I guess I don't really understand. You are sad because your puppy isn't what you expected it to be? 

Your puppy is new and is still getting used to its new home and family. One week is not enough time to get a good feel for the dog's personality. That's a big change for a puppy! Maybe it will change and maybe it won't, but at least let it get settled into your house and routine first. 

Also, not all dogs are the same. They each have their own personality. It's like having a kid, they are a lot of work! I don't know a lot about golden retrievers but my grandparents had one and it was very laid back. 

About the 'planning everything around her' thing. I think that just comes from the fact that it's your first dog and maybe you aren't sure of how to take care of one. Taking care of a dog for the weekend isn't the same as owning your own dog. I'm sure you knew that dogs are a huge responsibility when you decided to get one. 

You sound sad because you don't have an automatic bond, but would you be best friends with someone after only a week? You should also evaluate your expectations of having a dog. If you thought it was going to be snuggling 24/7 and the dog being overjoyed to see you at all times, I would think about how realistic that is. 

Be patient, look into crate training, keep your dog on a schedule, start obedience training, and have fun with your new puppy!

This might be helpful: 
http://www.wral.com/lifestyles/pets/blogpost/1583384/


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## Mdawn (Mar 3, 2007)

I can understand how you feel. I really think that a crate would do everyone involved a world of good. Yes, dogs are a responsibility but they shouldn't dictate your life of when you can or can't do something. I have 2 dogs currently and I still do things that I like to do. I go out with friends, I go out to dinner, I shop, visit family, etc. When I want to do something, I just put my dogs in their crates and I go. No, I can't stay out all night somewhere without making arrangements for them but I still have a life. 

I really would think about getting a crate and starting training classes with your dog at least to help build a bond between you. If your dog doesn't like to play with people, find out what she does like to do and try to involve yourself. To me, she sounds like a very nice, laid back puppy. I bet many puppy owners on here are envying you right now as their puppies are probably nipping their heels and destroying their house! lol


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## Stroud (Jul 26, 2008)

Hey all, i want to thank you all for all your help.
Today something clicked with us and she just started playing fetch and scratching the screen door when she has to go potty. She also seems to like to be outside a lot. I think she is starting to see me as an authority figure. Shes sleeping behind my office chair right now.

Thanks again everyone.


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## Lonewolfblue (Oct 28, 2007)

Another thing to add is dogs do take some time to bond as well. It took my Betty about 6 months to really bond with me. Before that it was like she was partially bonded, but not like she is now. Give it time, she will start to interact more as time goes by. Also, if you can take her to group puppy classes, that can help as well, and she can interact with both other puppies as well as the dog owners. Also, start obedience training as well. This will greatly help with her trust and confidence in you.


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## CalamityJane (Mar 16, 2008)

I understand what you're talking about. A young puppy is a lot of work, and requires time each day, for training, exercising, and the constant watching, unless he's crated.

We use a crate a lot. No, he isn't in it for hours at a time, except at night. But I crate him for any period of time that I really need to do something where I can't watch him; he's 5 months old and still very interested in chewing things that he shouldn't. Not just furniture, but dangerous things too. So it is safest for him to be crated when we can't watch. He does fine in his crate. We always give him something to do in there, and he busies himself with it.

As for the bonding, all the other posters are right. A dog is a wonderful creature, and many terrific stories have been written about them, and the incredible bond with their humans. But, in real life, that doesn't happen immediately. It will happen though; dogs are like that, your pup will come to think that you are her world. And you will feel something for her that you've never felt before. It's still a wondrous mystery to me how two creatures who are entirely different species can share such a bond. 

It will come, and doing training helps VERY MUCH, because she is looking to you to see what you want her to do. That eye contact when you call her name is very much a bonding exercise. I agree with the suggestion of a puppy class.

Good luck, she sounds like a great pup!


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

A new puppy can be a bit overwhelming. The day after we got Molly, I found myself thinking, "What HAVE I done?" quite a lot.

As for the bonding thing: She bonded quickly, but it took Esther about six months to decide I was even a person of interest. Now she's my shadow.

Every dog is unique and it's important to savor that uniqueness. Too often, we are disappointed because they fail to live up to our expectations. Fortunately, they expect a lot less of us and set the bar low-enough that dogs hardly ever trade in their humans for a more interesting model.


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## chul3l3ies1126 (Aug 13, 2007)

I really dont have much advice, but you are not alone, I've seen other threads like this where someone gets a new pup and then they're like OH NO WHAT NOW?! and they feel overwhelmed and depressed. Your not the only one...

I must really really be obsessed with dogs or something, because I got 2 new dogs on the same day back in september of last year, then 2 new dane pups in march of this year and I was happier than ever. Some people just take things differently.
Good luck
Nessa


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## Stroud (Jul 26, 2008)

Thanks all, knowing im not alone is really reassuring. I think once we fall into a tighter schedual, it will only get better.


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## CalamityJane (Mar 16, 2008)

> I think once we fall into a tighter schedual, it will only get better.


This is what I keep thinking too. I have felt for two months now like I can't get anything done. But, I know too, that this puppy time will pass, and it won't come again, and I'm trying to remind myself to enjoy it while I can. A better organization of my time, on my part, would help.


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## wvasko (Dec 15, 2007)

alphadoginthehouse said:


> Be nice!


alpha
I was being nice. Did you see my big smile? There are many, many, many things to get depressed over as you travel through life. Lose a job, bad health, loved one dies, etc, etc, etc. If OP get depressed over a new puppy because it cuts into personal freedoms there is a problem. I obviously thought this was a young person and maybe just did not use correct wording to explain their feelings. I have been depressed occasionally, but never over a puppy. I was, as you probably know trying to inject a little humor to diminish the depression.


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

> Did you see my big smile?


And did YOU see the winky in the response from Alpha?

Personally, I think goldfish are depressing. They are difficult to leash-train, they defecate where they sleep (if, in fact they sleep at all) and they refuse to fetch tennis balls.

Oh, and their average lifespan around our house is about six days.


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## wvasko (Dec 15, 2007)

RonE said:


> And did YOU see the winky in the response from Alpha?
> 
> Personally, I think goldfish are depressing. They are difficult to leash-train, they defecate where they sleep (if, in fact they sleep at all) and they refuse to fetch tennis balls.
> 
> Oh, and their average lifespan around our house is about six days.


Of course I saw the winky. #1 You are not getting the right breed of Goldfish. #2 They only defecate on bottom of bowl and you can train them to defecate inside certain castles. (I am told) #3 Obviously you have never seen the Tri-Tronics Goldfish E-Collars that are available for off-lead work. #4 You have got to get the Geicco's Goldfish life insurance. A big grin for every one of my Ichthyologist(hope I spelled it right)remarks.


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## allison (Jun 26, 2008)

wvasko said:


> A big grin for every one of my Ichthyologist(hope I spelled it right)remarks.


OK... I know I am not alone here... I googled Ichthyologist. 

lol


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## jbray01 (Dec 26, 2007)

i completely know how you feel.

the first few days of having rosie, i was so overwhelmed. the late night potty breaks, the crying in her crate, the adjustment is soooo hard.

i remember we would put her in the crate while we ate dinner, and i could not eat the first days because i was so worried and so scared that she was crying in her crate.

i was in the same boat where i had always wanted a dog, and finally got one and was in the "what have i done stage?"

its a life changing decision, so its a huge shock to your system, but it gets better once you and your dog get adjusted. we still have a few training issues, but we are doing really well..

i would recommend a training class to you. it really helps you and your dog bond as well as socializes it and obviously helps with training. it really helped Rosie and i.


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## Stroud (Jul 26, 2008)

Hey, thanks for the help.
we signed up for a obidience class this week


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## Esther (Jul 2, 2008)

Thats great! Hope you'll have a lot of fun


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