# Yes, I've neglected her coat



## Anohn (Aug 21, 2013)

This is so embarrassing and I am really ashamed, but I do love my dog and want to do right by her.

I have a Pekingese I rescued about 3 years ago. She's a sweet little dog and is the most food-motivated dog I've ever seen! She goes berserk if she even *thinks* she's going to get a morsel. It's so funny!

The problem: I haven't brushed her or had her groomed in months and months and months. I unexpectedly became pregnant with twins, and had a mostly bed-rest and very stressful pregnancy. Then they were born premature and had to stay in the hospital for over a month. When they came home my entire existence revolved around nursing, pumping, changing diapers, trying to sleep for more than 10 minutes at a time, etc. The sad truth is that both of our dogs really took a backseat. 

I've tried over the past couple of months to comb her out a little at a time and to just cut off the big mats. It's way beyond what I can manage. She doesn't have any sores or anything. I don't care if the groomer wants to just shave her down. Her fur is not why I love her . I have to take a deep breath and just take her to the groomer but I am so, so embarrassed! I know how judgmental some groomers can be and the last thing I need is to have someone sneering at me when I have fragile babies, $100k in medical bills and a husband who works 12 hours a day. 

How can I make this the least traumatic for all of us?


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## elrohwen (Nov 10, 2011)

I would just take her in and explain the situation. Say that you know her coat got neglected, but you had a lot of family circumstances that got in the way and you feel bad about it. I think groomers are mostly critical when people are totally clueless about the dog's condition, and get angry that the groomer has to shave it down.


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## So Cavalier (Jul 23, 2010)

When my mother-in-law passed away, we took in her old, blind lhasa apso. She had always taken good care of her dog so we weren't concerned. After she passed, we realized that in her last few months, she had really neglected the dog's grooming. It wasn't really noticeable until the last month or so when the dog started to look a bit matted. It turns out that he had some pretty bad matts...not painful but enough to be embarrassing. When she was hospitalized, the dog came to live with us. We took him to the groomer and chatted with her and told her what had happened. She was very sweet and non-judgemental. She shaved the dog and we took him back to her regularly until he became too old and it became too stressful for him. At that point, I took over the shaving. 

Ask for some recommendations from people you know. People are people. Those with compassion will not judge you. Anyway...it shouldn't matter if they do or don't. You did the best you could under very stressful circumstances. What you need now is to help your dog. That's all that really matters. I hope things are going better for you. Sounds like you have had a very rough time. Years from now, you will look back and wonder how you managed to get through it all.


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## Faux (Aug 5, 2013)

I think as long as you don't say 'please try to save the hair' they won't judge you (which it sounds like that's not your concern). Life happens, if they don't understand that they're pretty dense. I wish I could say all groomers were pretty understanding, but that's not the case. Ask around, read reviews on grooming shops.


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## georgiapeach (Mar 17, 2012)

You're doing the best you can under the circumstances. Maybe take the twins with you when you take the dog - lol. Explain the situation. One look at the twins, and I doubt the groomer will doubt your explanation.


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## Anohn (Aug 21, 2013)

LOL - Beth that's a good idea! I need to just suck it up and go before things get any worse. What makes me feel the worst is that she still adores me, even though she's been moved even further down in the pack order.


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## Indigo (Mar 31, 2011)

If it were me and the coat was really bad I'd probably just shave her myself. It will grow back.
Just tell them you were in the hospital for a few months and weren't able to get anyone to groom her, and now you're fixing that. If they judge you harshly walk out and find someone who wants your business. What's done is done and you're trying your best.


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## Anohn (Aug 21, 2013)

I definitely don't have the nerves to shave her myself. I was looking at her more closely, and really it's not like she's matted all over. Her tail is bad and so are her ears. There are a couple minor ones around her back thighs, but that's about it. I may be too hard on myself. I'm going to take her in next week. thank you for the reassurance.


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## mcdavis (May 1, 2012)

Indigo said:


> If it were me and the coat was really bad I'd probably just shave her myself. It will grow back.
> Just tell them you were in the hospital for a few months and weren't able to get anyone to groom her, and now you're fixing that. If they judge you harshly walk out and find someone who wants your business. *What's done is done and you're trying your best*.


Agree - if they are judgemental just leave because they are probably the type of people who would find a reason to judge no matter what. Also try asking other dog walkers for recommendations as I've often found people to be very forthcoming with those they would use and those they would avoid!


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## shannylee (Aug 8, 2013)

Sounds like you have had your hands more than full. I would hope that any groomer would be understanding and non-judgmental in knowing your situation and I hope your babies are doing well


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## MimiAzura (Jan 5, 2013)

Someone said get reccomendations from friends etc?
do that.

I mostly do Taj myself, but sometimes I take him in to get a really good brush out and trim.
I used to take him to this horrible lady that would completely freak out on me if he had any mats at all D:
So I asked hubby's mum who she was taking her toy poodle too and now we would never dream of changing groomer again! 
and the best part, her daughter, who is equally as awesome, works there too and is taking over the shop if anythign ever happens to her mum, so same groomers for life! lol


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## ramonapants (Jun 12, 2013)

Anohn said:


> I definitely don't have the nerves to shave her myself. I was looking at her more closely, and really it's not like she's matted all over. Her tail is bad and so are her ears. There are a couple minor ones around her back thighs, but that's about it. I may be too hard on myself. I'm going to take her in next week. thank you for the reassurance.


Don't be hard on yourself. Groomers see everything. I am glad to see that you're not going to do it yourself (especially if the ears are matted.) Shaving a dog down that has a coat in good condition is one thing but shaving a matted dog can be very difficult and sometimes dangerous. Your groomer will understand.


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## deege39 (Dec 29, 2008)

Speaking as a groomer, I'd be far less critical of you as long as you said, "I messed up, we need to start over,"... As a groomer, I couldn't let anything make my dog's grooming take a backseat, but accidents happen, everyone is different and not everyone can remember something as important as grooming when they don't understand how important it is.

Some groomers can send out reminders when it's been more than a few weeks, I know I do that for our Customers, "Hey, it's been six weeks, how's Lily lookin'?"

But seriously, don't be hard on yourself, it grinds my gears sooooooooooo much more when people are negligent intentionally, I'm sure any groomer you take her too will understand and help get her back on track!


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## Emily1188 (Jun 21, 2011)

deege39 said:


> Speaking as a groomer, I'd be far less critical of you as long as you said, "I messed up, we need to start over,"... As a groomer, I couldn't let anything make my dog's grooming take a backseat, but accidents happen, everyone is different and not everyone can remember something as important as grooming when they don't understand how important it is.


This X1000

I work with a great groomer. What bothers her is not "Listen, she's bad, I know, I need her shaved down so we can start over." It's, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE HAS TO BE SHAVED?! Can't you just brush it out?! (So what if that's painful?!)"

Then ask your groomer to get you set up every 6-8 weeks with regular appointments.


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