# The light of my life



## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

I've had Kobe a little over a year now. I adopted him March of last year, that makes him just about 4 1/2 years old now. Life certainly didn't go as I had hoped since then, but I suppose that's a given for many of the families and friends we all know who are hurting in these times.

Again and again I'm reminded through life with the littlest and sometimes the biggest things, of what it is that I work for. A raison d'etre if you will allow that cheesiness. For many of the men I work with, it is for their beloved wife. Recently, my co-worker celebrated his 30th anniversary with his wife, over the phone for hours and hours and hours. He talks a lot of filth, but in between all the crap we all add in to our conversations, you know that he deeply cares and loves his wife. And he has worked for years in brutal hours, now 50 years old, spending much of it not even living in the same state as his wife.

Still though, it was what got him through the day. Another friend of mine has a daughter he spoils rotten. Totally adores her, she'll definitely grow up a spoiled brat. But he doesn't mind, he adores her. He's a single father and has been struggling to make ends meet for years to ensure she got the best education, a comfortable home, and to be a father she can love. Most of us would look at these things and think them significant, a reason worth working for.

For others, it would be something we'd call insignificant or even call unimportant. One of my co-workers works his butt off, one of the hardest workers I know. He spends nearly every dime that he doesn't save for a rainy day on building cars. Most of us would look at someone like him and see but a fool wasting money. Nevertheless what we, the outsiders, feel in regards to that is rather unimportant and egoistical.

It's but a passion that gets him through day by day, and makes him feel content with his life as it is. Even less significant to many of us, one of my co-workers is a TOTAL geek. He spends every non-working hour playing video games, getting together with friends and playing board games, I believe it's Dunegons and Dragons. Nevertheless, few of us have not heard others sneer at people like him. But that, too, is his passion, and just as passionate as the man living for his wife and child. Few of us would put it on equal rankings, but I'm of the opinion it is not something to be ranked. It's highly personal to all of us, not one to be judged, just accepted.

As times get harder and rougher, the little stories like these become more and more clear. Those who lived with excess when times were good, trimmed all the fat off and kept only what's important to them, and work to protect it.

Through all these, there are people who have lost even that which is most important to them, and it is terribly sad, no matter how significant or insignificant it may seem to us.

In that, I can reflect upon my own life and wonder just what is important to me in this world. I, too, having lost my job, had to endure hardship of my own and lost many things. I trimmed all the excess off of my life, and I see that which is left before me; my two dogs, Kobe and Priscilla.

Unfortunately times are not so kind to me. I had to make an extremely difficult decision, but I believe I made the best possible decision given my situation and what I realistically can and can not do. That resulted in Priscilla going to live with my mother and her three dogs. I miss her terribly, and on my one day off every week I drive over to pick her up and take her home. It's not very easy to do. After my work day is done, I woiuld get to my mother's house at 9pm, and get home at 11pm. She, naturally, is amazingly excited to be with me and cannot sleep. So I must take her out for a walk after I get home, and play with her for a while. By 1am, I can finally go to bed.

I had gotten up at 4am that morning. It's not easy, doing that and working the hours I do. But regardless of the path my life takes me, that is my happiness. For all my mild grumblings about Priscilla, this was never what I wanted for us. She won't sleep much that night, only a few hours, so by 6am I'm up and taking the kids for a hike at the lake. It is my happiness to be able to do such. By 9pm, I part ways with her and drive 2 hours to my mom's house to drop her off, and come back home.

Sad though that makes me, I am ever so fortunate that I still have not lost my own guiding light. I took a lot of pictures over only but a random 30 minute part of my day, just another day and nothing special. Potty time in the yard, and some relaxing time in the house. It is my hope to convey why it is that Kobe is such a powerful force within my life, which it centers around. If I did not have this kind of joy and life in my own life, I do not know how I could possibly live day by day. However it is, I am sure that I would be the lesser for it, and would have a void within my heart which never could be filled.

I ramble on and on, and I'm sure most just want to see pictures, I just hope to convey to everyone the emotion I see in myself in these pictures, and why Kobe has become my world. Please do forgive the large amount of pictuers this once, as I have not posted any in a long time.


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

Yes.... c'mon... I'm not looking, so just try and catch me... I'm really not looking..


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

I got my eyes on you bud.









Talking to me









Happy boy


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

Misfire... but hehe, I love his tail.










Trying to incite me into playing...









Sideways... LAUNCH


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## FilleBelle (Aug 1, 2007)

Ryan, it's so good to see you and Kobe again. My heart aches to hear about your difficulties and your new joint custody of Priscilla. I hope that you will soon see better times and the return of your beautiful girl.

Even though we're all just internet buddies, I have a sneaking suspicion any one of us would help you if you needed it. Keep us posted.


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

Duck hunting









He's trying hard to look serious and tell me he's unhappy with the camera being back.











Chilling on the bed.


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

The monster lurking under the bed.... Making Kobe paranoid. Little children dream of monsters under the bed, Little and big Kobes alike dream of Lucky the Cat under the bed.


















Hey! He's rolling his eyes at me. Hmph. That warrants a alpha roll!


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

A penny for his thoughts.....









A mid-afternoon nap..










I'm a tough dog, honest! So back off!









Don't mess with me, brat!


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

KISS impersonation again?









*honks his nose*









I suspect a terrible monster lurks beneath...


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## RBark (Sep 10, 2007)

*anxious*










Maybe if I look away, she'll disappear...


















Thanks all.


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## Dunixi (Mar 16, 2009)

Wow. He is absolutely stunning. Beautiful dog! Its good to know my dog isn't the only one that is afraid of the kitty-monster under the bed.


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## Pepper (Jan 27, 2008)

Your very special, and a very lucky person to have such an "enlightened" outlook on your life. Sometimes it takes people a lifetime to appreciate what they have right in front of them, and sometimes they never truly appreciate the special people or animals in their life, and when they dissapear, they stand in confusion wondering what happened and how they went wrong. Kobe is extremely lucky to have such a person as you describe yourself to be, and you are lucky for being able to see him as more than just a fellow friend of another species.


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## volleyballgk (Jan 15, 2008)

Wow RBark that was beautiful. You have an amazing way with words that puts so much in perspective. I hope things turn around for you soon and you and Pris can be reunited again. And I loved all the pictures of Kobe, especially his play bow pics. He is truly an amazing dog.


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## BoxMeIn21 (Apr 10, 2007)

That was beautiful. I am so sorry you had to make the decision you did, but you have a wonderful outlook and it sounds like things are falling back into place for you. Great pics of Kobe. Good to see you back, I've been wondering where you were.


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## digits mama (Jun 13, 2007)

Aww R.. You always had a way with words but this thread moved me. I love how you can turn bad situations for people into good with just your words.. I miss ya..lots.

And Kobe pictures always move me


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## sw_df27 (Feb 22, 2008)

awww R he's more beautiful now then the day you got him!!!!! love ya man!!!!!


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## Sugar Daddy Otis (Jan 9, 2008)

Ditto what V said....but I miss ya more 

Can I borrow Kobe's tail to come and dust for me???


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## mostlymutts (Jan 10, 2009)

Well said. What beautiful pictures.


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## Inga (Jun 16, 2007)

Rbark, the best thing about the tough times is looking to the future good times. Hang in there. It will get better. Good to know you are keeping positive and have Kobe to see you through. He is as always, gorgeous!


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

R, things will get better. Pris will come home to stay with you and you will back to some kind of a normal schedule. It just takes some time. 


BTW, I don't think you could _ever_ post too many pictures


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## alphadoginthehouse (Jun 7, 2008)

On a regular basis I say thanks to the one over us all (whomever you may call him) that I have a good job and can support my kids. I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties and that Pris can't be with you all the time. I'm glad she's with your mom and still in the family. Kobe, as others have said, is as handsome as ever.

You have a great way with words and you (unfortunately) voiced things I have thought about others. It's all about what we view as important and/or fun, and who has the right to judges others for those joys. Thanks for your wonderful email.

I hope things turn around for you soon and that she will be in your life every single day. 

Keep us posted. You do have lots of friends here.


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## Shaina (Oct 28, 2007)

RBark said:


>


This picture is awesome...love that boy.

I'm glad you and Kobe have each other, and that you are finding new focus in your life. He's a wonderful boy, and hopefully the whole family will be reunited soon.

Glad Lucky's doing well too  Welcome back


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## chul3l3ies1126 (Aug 13, 2007)

How wonderful... great pics R
Nessa


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## Mdawn (Mar 3, 2007)

That was beautiful, R. 

Welcome back.


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## Leroy&Lucy'sMom (Mar 2, 2009)

Thank you for the wonderful post with lots of awesome pictures...
All the things you said are so true... life is really about relationships, whomever/whatever it may be... when everything fades all you have left are the relationships you build and your faith...
Hope things look up for you soon, best of luck with everything.


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## SammyDog (May 21, 2007)

RBark said:


> Chilling on the bed.



If I were you i'd blow this shot up and hang it somewhere around the house. Everything about this picture is perfect.

Stunning dog


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## Max'sHuman (Oct 6, 2007)

That was a beautiful post. I've missed seeing you around the forum. Sorry you've been going through this rough spot but I think things have to get better. And in the meantime it's good that Buddha-dog, who still seems so enlightened or something in his pictures, is there to support you.


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