# Post Puppy Depression?



## FlyGirl822 (Sep 14, 2007)

I brought my new puppy home a week ago and I think I am going through "Post Puppy Depression." I've never had children, but I can imagine that the things I am feeling are very similar to Post Partum Drepression in new mothers!

She is such a cute, sweet little puppy and she really hasn't been any trouble at all, but I just have this sense of dread all the time. I play with her (half-heartedly) for a little while and then I just want to put her back in her crate. I panic when I think about the fact that she will be around for the next 10-15 years. I've even found myself mentally drafting the want ad that I would place in order to find her a new home.

What is wrong with me!? I've always been a dog-lover and had we had one in our family as I was growing up. I really, really thought I wanted a baby of my own, but now I think I've made a horrible mistake. Any advice?


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## FriendsOfZoe (Aug 7, 2007)

For the first week after we brought Zoe home, my boyfriend and I would both be in tears at least once a day. If she was causing trouble, we wanted to give her back. If she was being good, we were just dreading her waking up and causing more trouble. I think it's a combination of the huge change in lifestyle that comes when you bring home a new puppy, the stress of realizing how much work you have to do in order for that helpless pup to become a good dog, and the LACK OF SLEEP from bringing out pup in the middle of the night.

As soon as Zoe could go at least 6 hours overnight, things got a lot better. We split up first and last trip, and so we could both get about 7 hours of sleep a night. Plus, she just got easier and easier over time. Training classes helped a lot too (puppy kindergarten!!), as we had tools to work with for training her. I don't know when it happened, but by the time she was 4 months old, she was becoming an angel (well, not really, but she was perfect in our eyes!!). Now, at 5.5 months, she is the center of our universe and I could not imagine life without her. We're even thinking about getting a second puppy (not for at least another 6-8 months, but still...a couple of months ago I was saying that I would never ever ever in a million years consider getting another puppy again!).

So my advice: get someone to help you out. Take some breaks from pup, for "you time." Look into doggy day care. Even if you send her there once a week, that's one whole day you can have to yourself (catch up on sleep!) and she will come home exhausted and probably sleep the rest of the evening. And finally, please just stick it out. I promise, it only gets better. Pretty soon, you'll be looking back at this post wondering what you were thinking, wanting to give her up! I assume you did plenty of research and were fully prepared to bring home a puppy. I thought I had researched everything and knew exactly what I was getting into, but until you actually have to live through it, you just have no idea what it's really like. I felt like I was in way over my head, but by taking some time for myself (going running was a nice break and stress reliever too) and just taking it one day at a time, I got through those toughest puppy days. I know you will, too.


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

That was very wise and compassionate advice.

I was going to say, "You wanted a puppy, so quit your whining!" but I like your advice much better.

You never know for sure what to expect - even when you know dogs. We adopt adult dogs. Our lab just moved in and it was like he was always there. It was a very smooth introduction.

When we adopted Esther the Plott hound, it was like inviting a hurricane into the house.


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## the-tenth (Jun 29, 2007)

And write down your feelings and keep them in a safe place. Because in 2 years when your pup is a calm, well behaved part of the family, you'll start thinking about adding another. It's funny how quickly you forget what the puppy days are really like. I guess having a little horse that barks and eats dog food magnifies it, but before long you'll be laughing about all the trouble that your dog has caused you. RonE can tell you all about that. They aren't so different than kids. But "me" time is definately important.


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## FlyGirl822 (Sep 14, 2007)

I appreciate your advice, but I'm not sure you understand. I'm not talking about being overwhelmed, or not getting enough sleep. She has been a model puppy and I can handle the training.

I'm talking about major doubts over making this decision. Was I really ready to make this huge lifestyle change? Do I really want to be responsible for this being for the next decade? Did I really WANT this puppy?

Taking the stress out of the equation - Did anyone else go through this kind of doubt with their puppy? Is it normal growing pains or did I really make a bad decision?


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

If your dog were suffering from lack of self-confidence, I'd suggest some training classes. For your personal self-doubt, I'd suggest the same thing. As soon as the pup is old-enough and fully vaccinated, enroll in some good group classes. It will be bonding time for you both, you'll meet other puppies owners - at least some of whom will be feeling the same way, and you and your pup will find out how much fun it is to learn new stuff.

If you've truly just flat-out decided you really don't want a dog, I'd suggest you re-home her ASAP before she gets any more attached to you. I have no idea what that feels like.


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## the-tenth (Jun 29, 2007)

Well, nobody can help you answer that question. I can tell you that I've not had that feeling with any of my dogs, unless they had done something pretty bad, and then it didn't last long. I can also tell you this, if your pup is a "model pup" and you feel this way, my guess is when the teething and various other stages of puppydom start, you'll definately not want to her around. If you're wondering about your lifestyle change for a great dog, how will you feel about it the first time you come home to ripped up carpet or chewed shoes? I personally would say that you probably did make a mistake. What type of dog is it? I would hope that you would at least have created enough of a bond with this puppy that you could at the very least (for her sake) try to contact a breed rescue, or any type of rescue that will make sure she's not put in a situation like this again, versus drafting an ad for the paper. A pup going from place to place constantly can develop some very serious psychological issues, that will be a problem for the dog as well as the owners for a long time.


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

Honestly, I've never felt like that with any of my dogs. Sure we went through the usual 'What were we thinking getting a puppy?' phase, but it was just when they were misbehaving. Our male papillon when we got him was just a bundle of never ending energy (he still is). He was mouthy and hyper and our old dogs didn't seem to appreciate it. There were times when it was a bit of a rollercoaster and we thought 'Will he never settle down?'. But I never felt confused about whether I wanted him or not. I found him to be a joy. 

I think it's normal to doubt whether or not you're able to care for the dog, but I don't know it's normal to express it to the extent you are talking about. Puppies are a huge committment that need to be evaluated BEFORE you purchase the puppy. IF you decide to rehome, please put in all the time and effort you cna into getting her a great home and a great future with someone who wants her. IF we knew the breed, I'm sure people would be more than willing to help you look for a rescue. Since she's apparently a well behaved puppy, I think her chances would be very good. But first you need to seriously think. Do not simply give her away as an easy way out. Too many people around think dogs are disposable and don't understand. Whether or not you decide to keep her and work it out or rehome her should require you thinking very seriously on what has happened and what is best for her. We cannot tell you over the internet what is really the best thing to do.


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## FlyGirl822 (Sep 14, 2007)

Thank you. I honestly don't know how I got in to this position. I really do love dogs and have been thinking about it for over a year. I was getting a lot of "peer pressure" and I guess I just got caught up. I had no idea that it wouldn't be right for me. I should have known when I sat down to write the check for her and my hand was shaking so bad I could barely do it.

I feel really, really horrible about this situation and I have shed a lot of tears over this the past few days. I will continue to do some serious soul-searching over the weekend, but I would appreciate any input you all can provide toward finding her a new home. She is a 12-week-old Yorkie/Pug.

Thanks again.


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## Ella'sMom (Jul 23, 2007)

I do know how you feel. I wanted a dog so badly after losing my last one. I forgot how easy life is without a dog until I brought Ella home a month ago. She is a lot of work. I bring my youngest to preschool and pretty much come home because I dont' want Ella to be alone in the crate after being in there all night. So I don't get out and do the things I want to do because of her. I love her though so she is worth it. I do have to say this....it took a while to bond with her for whatever reason. Even when I brought my own babies home there is that adjustment and bonding period. Ella and I have bonded and I couldn't imagine letting her go now. But there are times when I would rather be getting stuff done instead of standing out in the yard going "Go potty. Go potty, dammit." Give it time - you will soon get so attached that you won't remember life before her. But RonE had good advice - if you really want to give her up - do it sooner than later. I wish you the best of luck.


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## Gates1026 (Mar 14, 2007)

I had a similar feeling for about the first two days that we got our now 8 month old puppy. There were two moments that I remember very vividly that I felt very paniced, I had no idea how much work/responsibility this little furry creature could be. I had done a lot of research before hand (talked to people, read books, etc) and felt like I knew everything I needed to be prepared. That first night proved me very wrong.

The first two months are tough, you have to deal with a lot of the behaviors that are very stressful. You dont get a lot of sleep, you have to watch them every second, and you are taking trips outside every 45 minutes to an hour. These times pass and things get much easier as they get older (if you put in the effort).

Now I couldnt picture my life without that little bundle of fur! You change your life around very much, but you get a lot back in return. I am not trying to convince you to keep the puppy if it isnt the right thing for you to do (only you can know that), but things do get easier and they change very fast. You need to be willing to put in the work to get what you want out of your pet, but if you do I dont think many regret it.

If do you indeed decide to keep your pup, there are a few things that you can do to help yourself. Read through the posts on this forum, there are so many people here that have gone through the same issues you are and can give you wonderful advice. Go to your local library and pick up a book on dog beahvior or training, there are so many great resources out there and the more you know the easier it is to deal with. Get your pup involved with training classes, you will meet many other puppy owners who are going through the same things you are and can help you out.

FriendsOfZoe - I have laughed a few times over the last few days in reading through a few of your posts. Your experiences and your situation couldnt mirror my own if I had written them myself.


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## sheltiemom (Mar 13, 2007)

Ok, yup, I think I know what you're talking about. I did not feel like that with my shelties, but with Penny, the new stray that I found, I had alot of anxiety and self doubt. The first couple of weeks were a disaster, and not because of anything Penny did, I just felt like everything in my life had been disrupted and nothing would ever be the same. For starters, I looked at my empty bank account after the first vet visit and wondered if I'd done the right thing for my family. When I would think about her care, training, vet bills, I literally felt sick to my stomach, like oh god, why am I doing this again? It was like a feeling of dread, like if anything bad came from taking this dog in, it would be my fault. I had a hard time, and still do, feeling a bond with her. I had a mantra the first few weeks that kept running like a ticker in the back of my mind, "You can always rehome her and she'll still be better off than she would be out in the woods".

THE GOOD NEWS IS IT GETS BETTER. I'm feeling more of a bond with her every day. I no longer think of ever rehoming her. The chaos has subsided and we have settled into a routine again. My bank account has almost recovered (until her spay that is  ) and I am comfortable now that I am not on the road to financial ruin. 

I'm not sure why I felt this way with her. The only thing I can think of is that maybe I did not do the months of planning I did with my shelties. I did not have those months of anticipation of getting a dog and almost having a dog. It was just one day I have two dogs, the next day I have three. What helped me start to feel better was support from my husband, other dog owners, and mostly time. I think if you give this time, you will feel better. I agree with the suggestion of getting into a training class with her and meeting other people who love dogs.

Maybe you're focusing too much on the responsibility and not enough on the joy that your pup is going to bring into your life. This dog is going to be your friend, your walking buddy, she'll greet you when you come home, and love you without even knowing why. The bottom line is that the puppy stage can suck. It's alot of work and not much reward. The reward comes later, and if you keep plugging away and doing what you need to do for your pup, I feel certain you will reach a point where you can't imagine your life without her.


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## terryjeanne (Jul 13, 2007)

I'm ashamed to say I barely enjoyed my puppy when I first got her. I had recently had to euthanize my first dog and was so depessed I got a new dog (in hindsight it was probably not enough grieving time). There were a couple of days I cried and almost returned her to the breeder.

She has issues and is so smart and sensitive. We've been to numerous dog obedience classes and she loves them. She's so outgoing and loves life (and tennis balls). We've had our bad days (which I blame on me) but she makes me laugh and we are learning alot.

We are bonding nicely and I adore her. She's alot of work and needs her exercise (but then so do I). I've sent her to doggie daycare for a couple of hours so she has playtime and socialization.

I know now my next dog won't be a puppy. They are ALOT of work for months and months. The 12-15 year commitment doesn't bother me. I have children that will take her if I go away for a vacation.

But I sure love coming home to a sheltie smile and wagging tail and I'll gladly sweep up the leaves and dirt and mud she drags in the house after playtime.


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## LoveLilly (Oct 25, 2006)

I think all you can do is weigh the pros and cons of being a puppy mom and see how it weighs out. I had many many doubts and was ready to return Lilly in the first month but it was b/c I never never knew how much work a puppy was. I do not have children and my animals are my kids. I am ashamed to say yes there are times when she is sleeping and I look at her and think....wow, 1 year down 15-18 more to go. I think of how tied down I feel at times, how it has interfered with family visits with her not being welcome in homes and how it can interfere with vacation plans. Then she wakes up and walks over and curls up in my lap and lets out a big sigh OR she scoots closer to me at night and hogs my pillow; its then that I realize what a huge part of my heart and life she really has become. I just cannot image coming home from work and not having her little 6 pound body wiggling out of control coming to meet me at the door.

Do some soul searching. Pet parenting, proper pet parenting, takes dedication, time and love. If you cannot be that to your pup make the decision and allow her to find another pet parent to bond with.


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## Lorina (Jul 1, 2006)

I went through some of that with each of my current pets. 

Gypsy, the former feral stray cat, hid _inside_ my basement walls for almost two weeks when I first brought her in, only coming out to eat, so I had a lot of doubt about whether or not I was doing the right thing, and wtf was I doing bringing a feral animal into the house?!

Gracie, my former SPCA foster kitten... I had doubts about keeping her, too. Do I really want to have this tempermental little turdball of a cat for the next 18 or so years? 

And Beavis... A week after I got him, my almost 18 year old cat's kidney problems progressed to flat out kidney failure. I felt guilty for time spent with the dog, and guilty for time spent with the cat, and didn't want to stress her out by introducing them when she was frail, so the cats all lived upstairs and the dog downstairs, and I felt more guilty that Sheba was "banished" to the upstairs for her remaining months (I really don't think she minded). Then Beav had some resource guarding issues we had to work through and the whole thing just seemed very overwelming.

Now? I can't imagine life without any of my gang. Gyspy now loooooves her mommy and loves indoor domestic life. Gracie is my space heater on cold winter nights, sleeping snuggled against me. Beavis gives enthusiastic Welcome Homes every day, and keeps me from being a lazy lump by making me go out and go for walks and runs. Not to mention being a great source of entertainment, just watching him play with toys. They've all enriched my life in many ways, and since the loss of my beloved elderly cat, I cherish them all even more. 

That lifetime commitment seems a lot shorter from the *other* side. 

At the start, you think "Do I really want this pet for the next 18 years?" and 18 years later, you think, "What the hell? That wasn't nearly enough time!"


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## JeanninePC99 (Jul 24, 2007)

> I'm talking about major doubts over making this decision. Was I really ready to make this huge lifestyle change? Do I really want to be responsible for this being for the next decade? Did I really WANT this puppy


This is so, so normal! You are, clearly, not alone!

I had a colleague warn me about this before I brought Baxter home. She said "at some point, you'll have the 'I'm so over this!' feeling" and she was right. I questioned whether I was the right mom for Baxter.

A little over a month later, those feelings are solidly behind me. You'll get through this! Hang in there!


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## Ella'sMom (Jul 23, 2007)

Yep. It really has taken me a month to completely bond with this small pooping, peeing, biting being in my house. Just a couple of weeks ago I was exhausted and thinking "why did I do this again?" Today I can't imagine my life without her. It takes time.


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## StevePax (Aug 28, 2007)

This is a pretty common feeling, actually. My wife felt exactly the same way after we got our puppy just 3 months ago. Don't give your puppy up when you are feeling this way. Wait for a month - it will shock you how much more settled you will feel in your routine after just one month. You will feel much more confident, your pup will notice that and start feeling more confident, and the whole puppy world will be completely different after just one month. Just wait it out - it's totally worth it. But to answer your question, yes, this is a totally normal feeling to have. I remember my wife crying about this a bunch at first (she's a stay-at-home-mom, so she dealth with most of the care during the day, plus our two human children!).


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## Taz Monkey (Sep 2, 2007)

I had a slight occurance with this when I brought home Sydney, my beagle mix, when she was 12 weeks old. But in about a week that went away. My oldest pet are 2 of my cats, who are 5, and I can honestly say my stomach gets upset when I think about losing any of them. Pets are huge commitment. In the beginning it seems like theyare little alien beings, who have to get used to your schedule, and seem to be screwing it up all thetime. Once they get usedto the schedule in your home, it should be mostly smooth sailing. I have 3 dogs, and they know my schedule and stick to it. They sleep when I sleep, they're up when I'm up, they eat, play, nap. Second thoughts are ok. But I would stick it out. After justa week your puppy is still foreign to you. You haven't bonded yet. Give it some time.


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## DogsforMe (Mar 11, 2007)

At 1st I thought , no, I've never felt like that about any of the puppies/kittens I've had over my lifetime. Then after reading some of the posts I remembered Scamp, the 5 1/2 m/o border collie cross we adopted from the RSPCA, 2 dogs back. Every time we came back into the house he would nip at our heels. Whenever I went touched the clothsline to peg out the washing he would bark & jump around me. After a week he only barked at the clothesline if I spun it around. Awhile later he stopped these annoying actions.
I figured out he must have been tied up to a rotary clothesline for him to act this way. He turned out being a very loving dog who bonded with my husband the most.


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## gizmobaby (Apr 30, 2007)

Oh man talk about common similarities! I feel the same way as you. I've always wanted a dog and thought I was ready to take care of one on my own..unfortunately, "own" is really hard to do. 

Rather than the question "Do I really WANT one?", it was more like "Do I have the time for one?" I thought I did, but unfortunately, I didn't know so much time could be put into this dog! I wake up much earlier than usual and being involved in so many things so that hopefully it may give me a respective job in the future, I realize that its hard to keep up.

I think you probably weren't ready one if you cry so much over it. I've only wanted to cry when he makes so much trouble...but even then, I usually just try to keep my cool......

I think its best if you give him to someone who will give him more unconditional love and if you can't, you just have to deal with it and make the best of it..


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