# At my wits end with my dog's barking at visitors



## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

Our dog always barks and throws a huge fit when someone barks at the door. I've tried everything. Desensitizing him to the sound, tried to teach him the quiet command, using a spray bottle and a can of pennies... nothing seems to help. We try to tell our visitors to completely ignore him, but nobody does. I can't keep him on the leash when visitors are around because inevitably someone will come up and try to pet him or pick him up which is just asking to get bitten because there's no way for him to run away. Out of sheer frustration I've tried locking him in a room or in his crate when we have visitors but all he does is bark non stop and throw himself at the door in a frenzy. 

To make it worse, my SO is completely useless when it comes to training. We were told in the past to have strangers offer him treats, but all that did was (of course) reinforce the behavior. However everytime someone comes over instead of telling his friends to ignore the dog he gives them a treat to give to the dog. Not only that but he's constantly giving the dog a complex about everything. Examples? Going to the window and looking out and saying "who's that! get him!" which encourages the dog to bark at passers by (even with the blinds closed he now barks at every single car person or dog he hears walk by the house), around halloween I walked him outside the door past our pumpkin without any problems until my SO pointed at it and said "whats that!" which my dog proceeded to approach like it was a scary dog eating monster and wouldn't walk by it without making a huge issue, or he'll play with the ceiling fan on purpose so that my dog now glances up at the ceiling every 10 minutes.  he thinks he's just playing around, but he's making my dog a complete pain in the butt!!

he's been home all the time lately and has been complaining about the dog's barking saying that it's worse than normal. i corrected him that he just hasn't been home to see how bad this behavior is... this IS normal for me. 

last night we had people over and he barked nonstop for 10 minutes when the first guests came over. i got the spray bottle out and he didn't bark much at the second guests but he growled and his hair was on end and he paced for about 10 minutes. from then on, every time the guests were loud (like laughing or playing a game or watching TV and reacting to it) or got up to use the bathroom or even looked or talked to him, he would start barking again. My SO then made the mistake that made me absolutely livid at the end of the night encouraging the dog to actually ATTACK one of our guests by pretending to go after the guest. I haven't talked to him yet because he had been drinking and if you've ever tried to argue with a drunk person there's just no point. (I don't drink)

Part of the problem is me having to get through to my SO who won't listen to me when it comes to training. That's a whole nother issue. I'd like to beat my SO sometimes I swear.  

I'm just completely out of patience with this dog. The batteries on his barking collar are dead otherwise i'd have it on him, although it's so big and clunky I can't leave it on him for more than a few minutes at a time. I'm seriously considering a remote e-collar at this point because it's smaller and I will have more control over the correction. I feel like a horrible monster for considering it, but this has gone on getting progressively worse for a year now. I realize it's not entirely the dog's fault but I have made a huge effort over the last year and he hasn't responded to any training.

we are having a behaviorist out the first week of january. i don't know if i can survive that long.


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## crazydays (Jul 24, 2007)

Hi AnnaMarie.
You sound very frustrated. I know all about "the front door" and visitors. It is hard to deal with at the best of times. I think a behaviourist is a great idea but my honest belief is that if you and your SO aren't on the same page, it is wasting your energy and money! I hope your SO gets that he/she needs to cooperate 100%


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## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

i agree. most of the reason i'm so frustrated is because of my SO, not the dog. maybe I should get a shock collar for the SO not the dog!!!

today even though he denies he does it I caught him saying "LOOK!" and then looking up at the ceiling fan, thinking it was funny. it was even funnier when I took the spray bottle and sprayed my SO in the face. I even managed to get a bunch of stale water in his mouth. 

i think the behaviorist is a good idea more for my SO than anything. maybe if he hears the same things from her he'll come around. plus the more behavior complexes he causes the more it's going to cost him literally in $$$. that will get the message across if nothing else does


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## TooneyDogs (Aug 6, 2007)

Sometimes the problem is created...and gets out of hand....because we all want our dogs to alert us that someone is at the door...a possible intruder. But, that's only half of the training...the easy half. The other half is how to stop once the dog has alerted you and that's certainly harder.
You have to somehow tell your dog that his job is done and that he did a great job of alerting you. You shouldn't squirt him for doing his job. Here's where you have to take over. What do you want him to do next? This is crucial. Is he supposed to go lay down somewhere, go to his room, get his toy as a reward, sit quietly until released? You have to show him what you want him to do next. Your job is also to tell/show him that all guests are yours...not his. That means you have to step between your dog and your guests...he does not have the right to meet and greet them first...you do and you have to be emphatic about it. Once he knows that you have it under control...not leaving it up to him to decide what to do...he will relax.


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## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

I don't want him to alert me to guests at all. i understand that he's a dog, and that's what they do, but he gets his back hairs up and goes into a frenzy and runs around the house barking like mad.

I've tried sending him to his crate or to a room when people come over and he just continues barking his face off for a good 10 minutes at least. and again, whenever they make any noise or movement he starts up again.


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## skelaki (Nov 9, 2006)

It sounds as if this dog feels he is or has to be the pack leader and that as such it's his job to alert the pack and (try any way) drive off those he perceives as intruders (your guests). 

If he was my dog I'd do the following:

1. Put him on a strict nilif program. Google Alpha dog bootcamp for information.
2. Start a program of daily (twice would be even better) basic obedience training.
3. When you are there to supervise him let him drag a lead or keep a tab lead on him so that you have a way to immediately and consistently correct wrong behavior. I would use a properly fitted pinch collar. Have someone show you how to fit it and use it. The reason for the pinch collar is that it imitates the way one dog corrects another and so he understands a properly timed correction from this collar. And, despite the looks, it's the most humane collar out there.

4. I'd put away the spray bottle and penny can unless you want to use them on your SO. If they were working, they should have done so by now.

5. Work at teaching your dog an acceptable greeting behavior. This could be, for example, sitting quietly, sitting and offering a paw, or just going to his place when given the command.

But, as someone already has said, unless your SO is willing to be on the same page with the rules and will stop sabotaguing your efforts all this and any other training will be in vain. Sadly it might then come to the point of you having to make some tough choices.


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## TooneyDogs (Aug 6, 2007)

skelaki said:


> But, as someone already has said, unless your SO is willing to be on the same page with the rules and will stop sabotaguing your efforts all this and any other training will be in vain. Sadly it might then come to the point of you having to make some tough choices.


Or, maybe not so sad....A woman had the same problem with her husband who was also complaining that she loved the dog more than him. He was right...she left him and started one of the largest dating services in the U.S.


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## MegaMuttMom (Sep 15, 2007)

Your SO needs the shock collar and I'm not joking. This is not your dogs fault. Do not even bother with the behaviorist unless the SO is there with you. If you can't get him to participate with the behaviorist, I think you should get rid of the SO, or re-home the dog. You cannot train a dog in a house with someone who is provoking the exact behaviors you are trying to fix. You all need help ASAP before your dog becomes a biter


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## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

I talked to my SO about what he did wrong the other night and all he did was the usual "fiiiiiiine" or " i forgot". same thing as when he opens the door without making sure the min pin isn't right behind him and lets him out constantly. the only thing that solved that problem was that I told him I was going out to buy a $100 baby gate which would not only cost him money but be an eyesore in his precious house. 

he will definately be present when the behaviorist is around. and i'm going to be sure to tell her what he's doing so that he can hear from HER that he's got to stop.


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## Curbside Prophet (Apr 28, 2006)

Annamarie said:


> he will definately be present when the behaviorist is around. and i'm going to be sure to tell her what he's doing so that he can hear from HER that he's got to stop.


A suggestion...if you tell the behaviorist, you may want to state it as if you're the one mucking up the situation. To point out a problem to a stranger, in front of your SO, can only cause friction IMO.


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## prolibertate (Nov 7, 2007)

Annamarie, all of your effort is taking a huge step back each time your SO countermands your training. It sounds as though the problem is more how your SO interacts and agitates the dog, rather than with the dog himself. Unfortunately, your SO is training the dog to do the opposite of what you want, even though your SO thinks he's simply playing. Having a behaviorist over may work out, as they can point out to your SO how his behavior is reinforcing the dog's unwanted behavior. So please make sure your SO is there when the behaviorist comes over 

Also, I'd suggest that whenever your SO agitates the dog ('what's that?") that you calmly take the dog by the leash and lead him away (always carry some treats with you so you can lead him away and then treat him). And if your SO ever encourages the dog to attack anyone, regardless of the fact he was drinking and just fooling around, take the dog out for a long walk. Otherwise your dog may end up with some serious issues and it would be a sad shame if he had to eventually be put down all because someone thought they were just fooling around. A dog doesn't understand that his human was just fooling around, and we humans need to understand how or behavior can affect our animals.


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## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

I agree. I was so mad when I saw him doing this. Luckily as soon as I saw I said his name and called him and he stopped. He was very agitated though.

Lately I've been threatening my SO with the water bottle every time he does something that undermines my training. He's gotten sprayed more than a few times! Yelling at him did nothing but the spray bottle seems to be working lol


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## poodleholic (Mar 15, 2007)

Annamarie said:


> i agree. most of the reason i'm so frustrated is because of my SO, not the dog. maybe I should get a shock collar for the SO not the dog!!!
> 
> today even though he denies he does it I caught him saying "LOOK!" and then looking up at the ceiling fan, thinking it was funny. it was even funnier when I took the spray bottle and sprayed my SO in the face. I even managed to get a bunch of stale water in his mouth.
> 
> i think the behaviorist is a good idea more for my SO than anything. maybe if he hears the same things from her he'll come around. plus the more behavior complexes he causes the more it's going to cost him literally in $$$. that will get the message across if nothing else does



Men can sometimes display some really childish behavior, so I can understand your use of an aversive correction! Your SO understands English, so he is choosing to not work with you, and is not taking this seriously. The poor dog not only does not understand English, he's getting mixed messages, and is also picking up on your frustration with your SO, so must be so confused! It's no wonder he's behaving as he is. Please don't use an e-collar. You'll make things worse. This dog needs patient, consistent behavior from both you and your SO in order to understand what it is you want, and do not want. Otherwise, he's going to remain confused, anxious, and insecure, not knowing what to expect, or what to do. 



> A suggestion...if you tell the behaviorist, you may want to state it as if you're the one mucking up the situation. To point out a problem to a stranger, in front of your SO, can only cause friction IMO.


I would agree that it may very well cause friction, but it's not going to help to fictionalize what's going on. Be honest and direct with your SO, AND with the behaviorist. If you're not, the problem will continue, and money invested in the behaviorist will be a total waste. H/she needs to know what's really going on. 

Since the behaviorist isn't coming out until January, why not jot down your observations in a notebook, detailing what the dog did (unwanted behavior), the trigger preceding the unwanted behavior, what you did to attempt to stop the unwanted behavior, and, what the end result was (success or not). 

Journaling daily observations will help you see a pattern, define the triggers, and clarify the overall problems. It will also help you understand your dog better, and provide crucial information that may be missed in the chaos. 

Hang in there!


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