# Puppy is scared of/doesn't like me?



## abduke232 (Jun 27, 2008)

Hi everyone, 

I have had my 3 month chow (Duque) for a little over 2 weeks now and I am a bit concerned about a few things. He was already housebroken when we got him (only goes wherever there is newspaper spread out) and was very quiet at first but has been acting up a bit lately. 

I find it difficult to do any type of training with him because he won't come when I call him, not even feeding time will get him up. He'll look at me when I serve the food and wait until I leave to start eating. Whenever I get up to walk towards him he sits up in a defensive/ready to run away position and usually goes away when I go toward him. I have never hit him nor plan on hitting him but I am the one that disciplines him whenever he misbehaves and I am pretty much the only person he listens to in the house, with my wife it's the complete opposite, he follows her around wherever she goes and even goes towards her when she calls him (sometimes not always) but she never scolds him or anything. When I scold him it's usually via a strong NO and I make eye contact and he listens, she always babies him and talks to him in a baby voice which is why I believe he ignores here when she tries to get him to stop doing something (eating plants, chewing stuff he's not supposed to, etc.)

The only time he ever really misbehaves with me is when I try to get him out of our room. He has growled at me on 3 different occasions when I try to get him out of the room, I think this may be because our room has A/C and it's cooler than other parts of the home and he wants to stay there but nevertheless I do not want to encourage that behavior because I know that this breed can be a handful and very stubborn so I want to nip that problem in the bud. When he growls at me I carry him by the fat thats behind the neck take him outside, give him a firm "NO!" and leave him alone. He usually ends up outside the bedroom door but I don't let him back in. 

How can improve/correct this situation? Should I just start babying him as well? I always spend time rubbing him and showing him love but I want to get him to start coming when called and stop acting as if he's afraid of me...please help and sorry for the long post...


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## Curbside Prophet (Apr 28, 2006)

Contact members of the APDT in your area and find out if any are offering a puppy class. I think you'll find the most benefit with a puppy class.


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## TooneyDogs (Aug 6, 2007)

Agree with the puppy classes! Sounds like you have many issues (training, discipline, how to build trust and confidence, chewing) that can only be resolved with some quality class time.


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## kelliope (Apr 4, 2008)

Your dog is still very young. You don't need to scold him or use a firm "no". You simply need to redirect whatever bad behavior into acceptable behavior. For example, if the dog is chewing something you don't want chewed - give him something to chew and praise him. If he doesn't want to leave the room, my best suggestion is to teach him "go to your house" (crate or bed in another room) by treat reward. Lure him with a treat and when he gets on the bed/crate, say "go to your house" and "good" immiately followed by a treat.

Dogs don't need scolding. They simply need to know what TO do.


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## abduke232 (Jun 27, 2008)

Thank you all for the input. The classes may be a bit hard to find out here in the Dominican Republic but I'll put in some research and hopefully find a good instructor/trainer. 

About the scolding, I guess I've misinterpreted what I had read on this and many other sites about establishing who is the "alpha dog" and discipline and teaching pups. I will continue to read up on how I can improve this for my dog and hope other board members contribute with their feedback as well. Thanks again to all...


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## kelliope (Apr 4, 2008)

Yeah, that whole "alpha dog" thing is way overrated and imo doesn't work.

What works is teaching the dog what behaviors ARE wanted/appropriate. And when they display unwanted behavior it is best to redirect them to the appropriate behavior. Over time they will default the to appropriate behavior and not even do the bad behavior to start with.

Think of it like starting a new job. You don't speak the language. You get no instruction and no direction. So you try doing something and your boss comes out and says "NO!" in a stern and a bit scary voice. So you try something else. Same thing happens. This goes round and round until you eventually get it right. You will learn this way - eventually - but you will be stressed and start to fear/avoid your boss. Wouldn't it be far better if everytime you did something wrong, they showed you what to do instead? You'd learn much faster and not be defensive and not feel so stressed.

Best wishes to you and I think your pup is very cute!


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## abduke232 (Jun 27, 2008)

kelliope said:


> Yeah, that whole "alpha dog" thing is way overrated and imo doesn't work.
> 
> What works is teaching the dog what behaviors ARE wanted/appropriate. And when they display unwanted behavior it is best to redirect them to the appropriate behavior. Over time they will default the to appropriate behavior and not even do the bad behavior to start with.
> 
> ...


Thanks, that analogy of yours makes a lot of sense. I'll try your approach and see how it goes. Thanks for complimenting Duque, I'll create a sig with some more pics of him and relay the message to him as well


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## DogsforMe (Mar 11, 2007)

Read the sticky's at the top of this forum & follow the links.


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## MarleysGirl (Apr 11, 2008)

Duque is very cute. I would also maybe talk to your wife about her never correcting and issue and leaving it up to you to do. That doesnt seem very fair in my opinion.


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## abduke232 (Jun 27, 2008)

MarleysGirl said:


> Duque is very cute. I would also maybe talk to your wife about her never correcting and issue and leaving it up to you to do. That doesnt seem very fair in my opinion.


Thanks for the complement . He follows her everywhere around the house and doesn't even come towards me when I have treats, he'll be very cautious and sort of crawl towards my hand  I want to fix that.... how?? I've never hit him or anything...just tell him when can't or can do something


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## alphadoginthehouse (Jun 7, 2008)

abduke232 said:


> Thanks for the complement . He follows her everywhere around the house and doesn't even come towards me when I have treats, he'll be very cautious and sort of crawl towards my hand  I want to fix that.... how?? I've never hit him or anything...just tell him when can't or can do something


It may be that your voice is low and sounds menacing to him. If she is talking baby talk that means her voice is soothing and soft. And a dog will "take" to whomever he/she wants. Mine don't have a choice...I'm the only one around. 

I agree that your wife needs to not make you the "bad parent". You both need to work together to make Duque (who is very VERY cute by the way) into a well adjusted dog.

Good luck and keep us posted. And we WILL want to see more pictures. It is "required" here on DF.


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## TooneyDogs (Aug 6, 2007)

abduke232 said:


> doesn't even come towards me when I have treats, he'll be very cautious and sort of crawl towards my hand  I want to fix that.... how?? I've never hit him or anything...just tell him when can't or can do something


Let's back up all the way to the beginning. You haven't built any trust or confidence....your relationship so far is based on tenativeness and a little fear. You make him come to YOU to get a treat. You're using the treat as a bribe (come to you and he gets a treat)....that's not the way to use treats and it's very confusing for him.
Let me give you an example of what you might be teaching him totally by accident: He comes crawling toward you or, comes to you very tenatively and he gets a treat ie: gets rewarded for that behavior. That's not what you really want to teach.
Start over...toss the treats in his direction WITHOUT making him do something. You're going to change his perception of you...no pressure to perform and you want to teach him that good things come from you.
Just start tossing treats and walk away. Within minutes, he'll start moving closer to you (to get closer to the treats, but, also his ideas about you are starting to change). Keep tossing and walking....he'll start to follow you/walk behind you...excellent! Now see if he will come up to your side ON HIS OWN and take a treat from your open palm without commanding him to come. If he comes up and takes it, you just made a major breakthrough. Praise profusely and quietly but don't reach out to pet him or move towards him. 
This is the first step to building trust and confidence in you. 
I know you're in a place where there are few trainers but, there are also many wonderful dog training books that you can use as additional resources.


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## abduke232 (Jun 27, 2008)

TooneyDogs said:


> Let's back up all the way to the beginning. You haven't built any trust or confidence....your relationship so far is based on tenativeness and a little fear. You make him come to YOU to get a treat. You're using the treat as a bribe (come to you and he gets a treat)....that's not the way to use treats and it's very confusing for him.
> Let me give you an example of what you might be teaching him totally by accident: He comes crawling toward you or, comes to you very tenatively and he gets a treat ie: gets rewarded for that behavior. That's not what you really want to teach.
> Start over...toss the treats in his direction WITHOUT making him do something. You're going to change his perception of you...no pressure to perform and you want to teach him that good things come from you.
> Just start tossing treats and walk away. Within minutes, he'll start moving closer to you (to get closer to the treats, but, also his ideas about you are starting to change). Keep tossing and walking....he'll start to follow you/walk behind you...excellent! Now see if he will come up to your side ON HIS OWN and take a treat from your open palm without commanding him to come. If he comes up and takes it, you just made a major breakthrough. Praise profusely and quietly but don't reach out to pet him or move towards him.
> ...


Thank you!! I have been doing this for the past few days and it seems to be working, but I haven't tried having him come get it from my palm, I'll let you know how that goes when I try it. He hasn't been as jumpy around me recently but he still runs away whenever he is being mischievous and he sees me approaching. I am confident that things will get right slowly but surely. Thanks to all that have contributed, updates and pics coming soon


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