# Just went through our first night with new puppy... advice about the nighttime crying



## ShutterBug (Jan 21, 2010)

ok, this turned out a bit longer than I planned. Forgive me. I'm long-winded 

So we brought Mya home yesterday evening. She's sooo adorable (photos to come later today!). I think we had a good introduction to her new home. I walked her around outside a bit before coming into the house, then she spent some time investigating indoors. It wasn't long before she was romping around the living room with the kids. 

I didn't do anything with her crate besides putting a couple little treats just outside the door and inside. She found her way to it eventually and climbed in and fell asleep on her own. 

We took her outside and she went pee around 10pm. We went to bed at 11 and put her in her crate in our bedroom. She slept until 12 and woke up whining, hubby took her out and she went pee again. This time when she was put back in her crate, she started crying within a couple of minutes and was shortly freaking out... crying, barking, shaking, scratching frantically at the door/sides.

Now, I'll admit that this is going to be the hardest part for me. I can be consistent and patient with just about any training issue, but I'm a softie when it comes to the nighttime crying. I've got 3 kids and they've all co-slept with us for the first 2 years because I can't do the "crying it out". 

So she went through her flipping out for a good half hour and woke up my 2 year old. In order to get the 2yo back to sleep, I waited until the puppy took a minute to breathe between crying fits, let her out of her crate and held her until she calmed down. Then I put her back in and she went to sleep.

She was up again at 4:30am, I took her out and she peed. Put her back in her crate and she immediately went into a crying, barking, shaking, scratching frantically at the door/sides frenzy. We studiously ignored her and she kept it up for an hour and a half (during which time we didn't get any sleep)... until 6am when it woke up my older two kids and I figured I might as well get up with her before she woke up the little one again. Once she knew I was out of bed, she quieted, but I waited a minute before getting her out.

She attacked her food & water when I fed her. 5 minutes after breakfast I took her out and she peed & pooped (though she had no interest in the treat I tried to reward her with). Se played a bit with the kids, hung out in her crate a bit (with the door open), and is now sleeping there.

I guess my big questions is... what's normal when it comes to the nighttime freaking out? I'm seriously torn between not wanting to reinforce her negative behaviour by offering her any comfort and feeling like an hour and half of getting herself worked up into a frenzy can't be good for her.... right? Any pointers on helping us make tonight a little easier for her?


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## Labsnothers (Oct 10, 2009)

We haven't had to endure that for the last dozen or more puppies. At bed time, with a new puppy, I have found lying down in front of the crate like you were going to sleep and speaking softly to it, or singing, until it settles down and goes to sleep works very well. Follow the pattern, a period of active play, outside to eliminate, and then into the crate.


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## ioreks_mom (Oct 1, 2008)

When Brom was younger I would toss a few kibbles in the crate for him to follow after his night time pees. He would go in, eat the few kibbles, and then go back to sleep. Brom is very food motivated though. I hope that you get some rest soon.

Just a few things that I did with the crates: I always feed the dogs in their crates. For the first little while I had a blanket over the crates since they are wire crates and open on the top. I give a stuffed kong in the crate so the dog will have something to do to occupy him until he gets sleepy and falls asleep in there.

It sounds to me like you are doing everything right. I am lucky that I didn't have to "wait it out" with either of my boys because I don't think that I would be able to do it either. Brom did a little crying but I don't remember much at all.


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## ShutterBug (Jan 21, 2010)

Thanks guys. Labs, I'll try that laying down by the crate and see if it helps. 

ioreks, the waiting it out is awful, and I'm really not good at it at all. It just breaks my heart, even if I know it's best. Mya was especially pathetic and got herself worked up really badly. At one point she was actually sliding the crate along the floor a little bit from throwing herself against the sides... and she's only 3.5lbs! 
We do want to get a Kong, I didn't know it would be a good idea to give it in the crate at bed time. We'll try that, too.


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## ioreks_mom (Oct 1, 2008)

Maybe a kong in the night time might not work for the housebreaking... You could put a tiny bit of peanut butter or honey on the inside sides of the kong so she has to lick it to get it out. My dogs love it if I put a little peanut butter smeared on the sides, it takes a while for them to get it out from the very bottom and they enjoy working on it.


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## momtoharley (Jan 2, 2010)

If you are consistent about not reinforcing the whining (including talking to her when she whines), you should see that she cries less and less each time. If you can, try to get her up before she gets too whiney and take her outside to pee (so you don't reinforce whining). Some say it is helpful to put your finger in the crate to pet and let her chew...I didn't do that, so I don't know for sure. Our pup did cry the first couple of nights after pee breaks...but never for more than 15 minutes. The only time he cried on and on was when he was out of his crate and had room to jump around and really get excited. It may be that the crate is too big at this point. With our pup (also a Shih Tzu), we divided the crate so he had just enough room to lay down and have a stuffed animal next to him (the animal was actually bigger than he was at the time). Having less room may help her to not get so over excited and prompt to her lay down (which should lead to sleep).

Our Shih Tzu is 13 weeks old and doing great. He is basically housetrained...lets us know when he has to go out and hasn't had an accident in over a week (and that was because our kids were playing with him and didn't recognize he was trying to go to the door, so they kept him in the living room). We worked very hard in the first month to make sure he was always supervised and took him outside a zillion times a day--also gave treats/praise for peeing/pooing outside. Hope you will have a fast learner, too!


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## Labsnothers (Oct 10, 2009)

Be very careful about the blanket over the crate. Some puppies would pull it in, shred it, and choke of the pieces. 

We are hard wired not to ignore the puppy. And so are the neighbors' dogs. I don't know if anybody ever realized all the dogs in the neighborhood were barking because of our puppy, but none of them ever complained to us about it. I am very glad we haven't had to go through that for a long time.


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## ioreks_mom (Oct 1, 2008)

I made sure the edges of the blanket were far from the walls of the crate. I only did it for a little while and then one day Iorek chewed the tiniest corner of the blanket and that was it for him! Brom didn't really need it because when he was really little he was in the large cat crate (which is actually a small dog crate, I have a large cat!!) and it is plastic so it was pretty dark in there. When we switched to the wire one we covered only the top for a little while.


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## MaddiesMom (Nov 8, 2007)

The first night we had Maddie she went to sleep and slept the whole night. We had her crate in the kitchen with the oven light on. 

The next night is when the crying started. 

After hearing her cry for over an hour, we got up moved the crate into our bedroom - right by the bed, so she could smell us and I could put my hand into comfort her if needed. She stopped crying and slept all night. 

We decided then and there that her crate would stay in our bedroom. We covered it with a flannel sheet, put in a fuzzy pad and her fleece binky blankets and she was content. 

When she was fully potty trained she was allowed to sleep in the bed with us and she's been there ever since! It would feel weird if her little back wasn't pressed up to mine and her head on my pillow. 

Maddie is crate trained and goes into her crate while we are at work. She has a new, very big crate now and loves it. All I have to say is "Mom has to go to work now" and she walks into the bedroom and sits in her crate waiting for me to close to door. 

It takes some time, but the crying will stop if you make the crate very fluffy and comfortable (if your puppy isn't a destroyer of fluffy) and maybe moving the crate closer to the bedrooms (if you don't want it in your bedroom) I think our smell comforts them. Also, wear them out before bed - they will be too tired to cry!


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## forbin (Jan 25, 2010)

I've been sleeping/laying on the floor next to the crate (there's just no practical way to get it near enough to the bed in my bedroom) and now cutting back on how long I stay there. I haven't had any crying at night issues yet except the occasional potty break. 

Brian


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## lucidity (Nov 10, 2009)

My pup used to whine a whole lot in the crate too. What helped was me putting my fingers in the crate. I put his crate on my piano stool, so it was the same level as my bed.. this made sticking my fingers in easier. Everytime I stuck my fingers in, he stopped crying and just licked my fingers until he fell asleep. I also found that sleeping right next to his crate on the ground worked. I only had to stick my fingers in the crate for about a week, though. After that he was all right with just sleeping beside my bed... and then he "graduated" to being able to sleep outside the room without any human interaction whatsoever.

Tough it out! Your baby is in a completely foreign place with a bunch of strangers. She probably misses her mommy and littermates right now. In a couple of weeks, she'll calm down a bit and everything will be better


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## ShutterBug (Jan 21, 2010)

Thanks for all the advice, everyone! Last night was considerably better. My husband insisted on leaving the crate in its place in the living room as opposed to our room so that our 2yo (who sleeps in our room) wouldn't get woken up. He stayed up late to watch a hockey game, took Mya out to potty around 11pm and put her in the crate with her the new puppy kong we bought yesterday, with a it of peanut butter smeared inside. He also covered the crate with a towel. It's a plastic crate, not wire, so no worries about her eating the towel. A bonus of the squished face, she can't stich her nose out any of the vents LOL

We didn't hear a peep from her until 3am when she started barking, hubby took her out to pee. Then she was quiet again until 7am, when she started barking, I took her out to pee, and then she was up for the day.

So, I'm hopeful for tonight! She really seems to like her crate. We keep the door open all day and she goes in there on her own to chew on her little nylabone, or when she's sleepy for a nap.


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## ioreks_mom (Oct 1, 2008)

I am happy to hear that last night was successful! The more practice she gets like that the better it will be!


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## trumpetjock (Dec 14, 2007)

The best advice to get through it is a simple three step process:

1. Take your dog out EVERY two hours through the night until you are absolutely certain it can go longer. Then up it to 3, and so on. The dog needs to be on your schedule, not the other way around.

2. Do not open the crate until the 2 (or 3 or whatever) hour mark is up no matter how much they scream.

3. Buy good quality earplugs and a vibrating alarm to stick in the pocket of your PJs.


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## GSP Mom (Dec 26, 2009)

Java screamed for about 1 1/2 hours the first night. He finally went to sleep and woke up a few hours later to go out for a pee. Brought him back in and he continued screaming. Fortunately, this only lasted a few nights.


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## anthrogirl80 (Jan 14, 2010)

We bought our puppy home last Sunday and had a few nights of screaming from him. The first night he cried and screamed for about 4 hours. It was cruel of me to leave him go that long, but it's what I had read that I needed to do.

The next night he did a lot better.

My routine is that I play with him and tire him out. At 10:30 before I go to bed I take him outside for toileting. He then wakes up between 1 and 2:30 and begins to whimper. I am a light sleeper so I get up and take him outside. I do not look at him, I do not talk to him, I do not have any body language indicating that his behaviour is acceptable OR that it is angering me. I bring him back in, put him to bed again (he sleeps on the lounge, refuses to sleep on his bed), I don't pat him or talk to him. I stand over him thinking calm/sleepy thoughts to myself for a couple of minutes (reducing each night) and then I leave the room and go back to bed. He sleeps until 4am, again take him to the toilet and follow the same routine.

He's up with the sun at 5am and I will take him to the toilet. This is the time that he will cry and scream for me - he's up and thinks we should be too. Our waking time is 7am so I let him cry. I put on my mp3 player, roll over and ignore the screams to break through my music. He is quietening a lot quicker now.

I find the 'present but not interactive' tactic has been useful. He can feel my presence but I won't interact with him at inappropriate times. I don't offer physical comfort, but my presence seems to be working (for now).

My beautiful laid back, placid puppy of last weekend is no more though. He took a few days to settle and has turned from a little slug into an adventerous, hard to tire out boy who is learning to eat better and is experimenting on just how many things he can destroy with his teeth. I can't wait until I can start taking him outside the house/property and take him to the beach etc.


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## Robrowe (Jan 25, 2010)

I never had issues with Murphy crying in the crate, I took a bit of a different approach though, he was not crated until he was introduced over time to the crate which also played a part in potty training. He ws introduced by tossing in treats being told "go to bed" when he entered. This was followed by feeding in the crate with the door open then feeding with the door closed and letting him out as soon as he was finished. Then increasing time a little at a time until he was good at 15 minutes and take him out to go potty. He eventually worked up to over night and spending 4 hours or so during the day while we were away. The door has been off the crate for quite some time now and he loves his little den where he goes to sleep and just escape if he wants.

The crate in the living room I'm afraid may be a lot of the problem. The barking may be more realted to separation anxiety. Staying in the room with them when they are in the crate does ease this. You might also want to take an old tshirt or the likes and get your scent on it. I just wore one for a day and tossed it in with puppy. He never once chewed on it. He might have chewed everything else in there but never th tshirt, ususally would wake up with him sleeping on it using it for a pillow.

You dont want puppy to get conditioned that barking=I get out of the crate. Its better to take him out before he starts whining/barking. Keep him on a regular feeding schedule and you will soon be able to figure out his elimination schedule. Key isto have him out before his little bladder is about to burst. Sometimes it takes setting an alarm and getting him up and out. Yes its time consuming but no different that having a new baby that wakes up in the middle of the night. It takes time but in a month or two you will be able to have a full mights sleep, much faster than a new baby.

Do not give in to barking for anythng, its best to give no reaction and ignore them. If you give in you will soon find you have a problematic barking dog that is much harder to break from the barking that it would be to prevent this in the first place.


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## ShutterBug (Jan 21, 2010)

I wanted to thank all of you for your advice. Things are quickly improving in the overnight department. Last night we put one of my husband's worn tshirts in the crate, gave Mya her peanut butter smeared Kong, covered the crate with a towel and went to bed around 11pm. After only about 10 minutes of whining, we didn't hear a peep out of her until she heard my husband get up for work at 6:00 this morning! If she woke up in the night, she didn't cry and she didn't mess in her crate. I'm hoping this is a trend and not just a fluke LOL


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## ioreks_mom (Oct 1, 2008)

Yay! That is awesome!


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## momtoharley (Jan 2, 2010)

That is awesome! You may have some on these boards say that your dog can't hold it that long (our Shih Tzu went 9 hours at 7 1/2 weeks, and someone actually posted that the dog could not do it and had in fact peed, only it had dried too quickly for me to know). Please ignore people who say your dog didn't do what you know she did. Our Shih Tzu has housetrained very well...he would have full reign of the house while we are at home if it weren't for the chewing. I think it took about 2 weeks of housetraining before he started going to the door to let us know he needed to go out. Some Shih Tzus train very well--hopefully yours will be one!


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