# My dog likes my boyfriend more than me



## mawniegirl (Aug 3, 2012)

So this is a weird situation, at least to me. here is the back story...

I bought my boxer "tyson" as a puppy when he was 8 weeks old from a breeder. I was already living with my bf at the time so he was like "our" dog. Tyson has always been a very affectionate and obediant pooch. As a puppy he was mostly around my bf as I worked and my bf only had school part time so he basically raised him. one thing to know about my bf is he acts like a dog to the dog. He will get on the floor, wrestle, nuzzle, cuddle and do dog things with him. I am the opposite. While I love cuddling I do not wrestle or act out dog behaviors. 

What this has ultimately led to is our dog thinking my bf is also a dog, nonetheless the alpha dog. he will listen to him no matter what even if that means disobeying me. My bf can easily say "go get her" and the dog will run right at me.

When its just me and the dog, he is perfect and obediant. however the moment my bf gets home, he turns on me, thinking i'm not worthy. Any time me and my bf hug/kiss/embrace or just sit next to each other, I get a growl/barking fest from the dog. He will even start to lunge at me and nudge me with his nose.

He would never bite or hurt anyone, he thinks its a game. But its a very annoying game to me. Even if i reprimand him, he won't stop, just barks louder and louder.

How can I get my dog to respect me again? its mostly frustrating as I bought him as my dog and I happen to live with my bf. But i don't like thinking my dog thinks of me so unfavorably.

HELP!


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

Okay, your dog doesn't think your boyfriend is a dog, he thinks, quite rightly, that your boyfriend is the one who spends the most time with him, trains him, feeds him, etc. (All that alpha theory is bunk.)

Your dog isn't "turning" on you or playing a game. He's resource guarding your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is a fantastic resource, the provider of food, fun and attention and he doesn't want to lose all that, so he guards the resource. If you'd like to know more, Mine! by Jean Donaldson is a great book on the subject.

Note: all dogs will bite given the right provocation or situation. Don't ever forget that. Dogs who are resource guarding will bite if pushed too far. A growl is a warning, pay attention to it.

Fortunately, resource guarding isn't that hard to deal with. First of all, you need to start taking on all of the dog responsibilities, walking, feeding (I would switch to hand feeding him for a while), training, etc. The dog needs to see that good things come from you, too. Secondly, when the dog is guarding your boyfriend, throw some delicious treats at him. Whatever the dog particularly likes, cheese, chicken, hamburger, whatever it is that your dog finds amazing. Do that until you can get a little closer. (All this occurs over a period of days or weeks, not minutes.) Eventually, you want to be able to hug your boyfriend or sit with him on the couch without the dog guarding your boyfriend.


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## Curbside Prophet (Apr 28, 2006)

Worry less about what the dog thinks...it doesn't matter.

Worry more about how YOU can motivate the dog to give you behavior...right now you're just expecting it. Why? If anything, your bf has shown you one way to get behavior/bonding by playing at the dog's level. I would suggest you both continue to do that, with control. 

Also worry about getting the bf on the same page, and I would suggest he be hands/attention off the dog, when you're around, until you're getting the behavior you want. 

That, and, when the behavior is more important YOU have to be more persistent...than the dog.


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## mawniegirl (Aug 3, 2012)

Thank u for all the advice. I did want to add that i do take care of most things for my dog. I walk him every day, feed him, brush him, train him and bathe him. I do admit i need to play with him more but the rest i actually do most of myself. 

I will take all ur suggestions to heart and hope to respond back with better news!


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