# Advice on Growing Pains after adopting a Puppy



## julep382 (Oct 29, 2014)

I am new to the forums and I hope this is the appropriate location for this advice post. I assumed with the like minded dog rescuers in one place I may get some great advice.

Firstly, my husband and I are proud owners of a 2.5 year old Golden Retriever. Roxy has always been a shy dog who loves her walks and play time. Well behaved, no aggressions excellent with kids despite us not having any. She is well socialized with people and other dogs, she pretty much goes everywhere with us and is expected to act appropriately. 

For the past year, off and on we have discussed getting Roxy a companion. Roxy has always enjoyed socializing with other dogs in her own territory, the other dogs space or neutral ground. So, two weeks ago a labx puppy showed up through a local pet network as a courtesy posting to rehome her for issues with being too much with small children in the house. My husband knew a bit more about the situation (small community) and we made the decision to rescue her. Sophie, was undernourished and needed some basic attention and discipline. We have pretty much house trained her now and she is crate training. Sophie is all around a lovely little pup with typical pup tendencies.

Now the issue arises, that we feel we may have misread our senior dog. We have done all the things that have been recommended, give them space, proper reprimanding, giving Roxy one on one time. We have set up appointments with a dog trainer to try and work on both dogs behavioural issues as well as how they interact together. I feel like it's not fair to either dog to continue to force this cohabitation, but I am also aware that two weeks is not long enough for a transition.

At what point do you decide that you should rehome a puppy? Please keep in mind that this is our last resort we really do want this to work out and have Sophie be a member of our family. We said from the beginning that if this didn't appear to be working, at least Sophie was safe with us and we could be her family until we found a better fit and we are committed to that fully! We have talked to a few organizations and they keep saying that the issues aren't THAT bad, other pet parents have dealt with worse etc. I know there is a plethora of unwanted and adoptable dogs out there and maybe they are trying to deter a surrender, but at what point do you say, this is not working and come to terms with that and start looking for a suitable home for the puppy? 

Sorry this is so long, this whole issue is weighing very heavily on my heart and mind. I just want to do the right thing by my girls even if it means giving one up for adoption.


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

What exactly are the issues? It's impossible to give any opinion or advice without knowing what the issues are.

*proper reprimanding *concerns me. There shouldn't be any reprimanding. If you're reprimanding Roxy with Sophie in the room, Roxy will, probably has, come to see Sophie as a predictor of bad things happening and will hate her for it, might even try to drive her away to make sure the bad things don't happen again.


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## julep382 (Oct 29, 2014)

Reprimanding wasn't really what I meant, its more redirection; encouraging Sophie to not chew on Roxy and so far Roxy hasn't needed any intervention with the puppy at this point her responses are natural and acceptable. 

The issue is that Roxy would rather choose to avoid the puppy and us. She will stay outside by choice or hide in our bathroom than come out and be with us which she always used to. Roxy has also started compulsively licking and chewing her paws, not sleeping and not eating. She has even become uneasy around us as if its like I trusted you and look what you did to me!


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## ireth0 (Feb 11, 2013)

It's not uncommon for adult dogs to not like puppies, did she seem to enjoy puppies before or just adult dogs? It does sound like she is stressed out by the change. Is it possible to keep the puppy separate from Roxy except for designated group playtimes?


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## julep382 (Oct 29, 2014)

Roxy has always appeared to enjoy the company of older and younger puppies. But she has spent more time with adult dogs as that is what my immediate family have. Roxy and Sophie have been kept separate other than when they get to play together. Sophie goes to work with my husband and when possible Roxy goes to work with me. Sophie is also in her crate when she is home and Roxy is outside at this time because the weather is nice and that is her routine. We are trying to be as consistent as possible. We have started doing our long walk earlier and then we go right before bed time. Sometimes we split up and do the later walk separately and sometimes we do it together. The morning walk is always together. 

We have full intentions of continuing to work with them and hopefully some private training will help. But how do I know if I am being stubborn because we like Sophie and trying to become a unit? How stressed do I let Roxy become before we make a decision? I have no problem trying different things and working at this but are we being selfish by wanting a second dog?


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

ireth0 said:


> It's not uncommon for adult dogs to not like puppies, did she seem to enjoy puppies before or just adult dogs? It does sound like she is stressed out by the change. Is it possible to keep the puppy separate from Roxy except for designated group playtimes?


Those are definitely stress behaviors, poor girl. How has her day changed? Is she getting enough exercise and training? does she have a Sophie-free zone to escape to? Is she being rewarded when Sophie is around? 

Beyond all those things, there is just time to adjust. Some dogs roll with the changes, some dogs take months to calm down after a big change. My last dog would stress to the point of panting and pacing for a week after we moved, and took 3 months to fully relax. My current dog could not care less where he lives, as long as there's a couch to lay on. Roxy may just need time and a few simple changes- more exercise, Sophie-free space, lots of rewards- and she'll adjust.


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## julep382 (Oct 29, 2014)

A typical day pre Sophie: Out of bed, straight outside, go for a walk, breakfast, spend a few hours alone, have lunch with my husband - play some fetch, spend a few hours alone, parents get home - play, lay in the kitchen waiting for scraps listening to us, she eats supper while we eat, then everyone goes for a nice long walk, play some fetch, come in for a rest, shorter walk and its bedtime.

Typical Day Post Sophie: Out of bed, Sophie gets out of crate they go outside supervised, we get ready to go walk, walk, supervised breakfast or separate, Sophie goes to work and Roxy spends a few hours alone, lunch is eaten by everyone, Roxy goes outside Sophie into crate, Roxy plays fetch, Roxy is outside for a few hours, We have to let sophie out when we get home so playtime is group then Sophie goes inside and Roxy gets more interaction, refuses to come inside, finally gets coaxed in encouraged to eat but mostly won't, go hide in bathroom, gets put in parents bedroom with toys and no Sophie, encouraged to play (or at least coexist) for a bit, go for a long walk (best part of the day), play fetch, hide outside, wait until Sophie needs the bathroom then come inside, wander anxiously, short walk sometimes together sometimes apart, bedtime Sophie in crate Roxy in our room as always, parents sleep, wake up to wandering Roxy, parents sleep, wake up to chewing licking Roxy, everyone gets up exhausted and start all over.

Is it possible for a dog to hate change that much? Roxy has habits that were endearing but now I wonder if its almost like dog OCD. She likes her bed a certain way, is offended when its washed, won't eat until her water dish is set down even if she knows your filling it, has a smaller bed she will only sleep on at the boarding kennel, sleeps with one toy and one toy only (which is safely tucked away from Sophie).


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## ireth0 (Feb 11, 2013)

I think that, like people, some dogs handle change better than others. It's easier with people though because you can explain and reason with them, which of course we can't do with dogs. Even myself personally, I get very stressed out about big life changes, even when I know they're for the better.

I agree with Amaryllis to try to keep Roxy's routine as much the same as possible, and reward her heavily when Sophie is around.


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## lforrest0913 (Apr 17, 2013)

I also agree with the rewarding heavily when Sophie is around.

Are there any particularly high-value treats you give to Roxie on special occasions? Or maybe you could start giving a new high-value treat that she gets only when Sophie is around - tasty cheese or hot dog bits or even small cubes of beef or chicken. Make it so that when Roxie is in the same room as Sophie, she is getting the best food and the best praise possible. If she starts associating Sophie with tasty treats and lots of love and praise, she'll realize the new dog isn't so bad.


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