# Afraid of men



## ashleyeh (Sep 13, 2010)

I rescued my dog 2 days ago and she is terrified of men. Anytime my guy friends come to the apartment she lets out a quiet growl and hides between my legs. She was abused and we assume she was by a man. How do I get her past this fear?


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## JackPDB (Sep 10, 2010)

Short answer: A lot of patience, and a lot of time.

We've got a similar situation with our Alaskan Husky. She was a rescue, very shy and nervous, possibly with a history of abuse; she bonded strongly and immediately with my wife, but although we've had her for more than two years, she still can't relax around me. She'll sit for me, and let me leash her, but when she walks with me she always goes with the air of someone on her way to the firing squad. Her demeanor when I walk her vs. when D walks her—it's like two different dogs.

She's a gentle, beautiful dog, and for a long time it gnawed at me that she would not—*could* not—love me as I loved her. I've resigned myself to knowing I'll never be her favorite, but I take comfort in how far she's come since those first few days.

Practical advice: when your guy friends visit, encourage them to talk softly, keep their hands out and open, kneel down to the dog's level, and avoid direct eye contact. Again—and I cannot stress this enough—it's going to take _time_. It may take years to get her rewired, to undo the damage that SOB did to her. It may never happen, not completely. But you've got to keep trying. The rescue doesn't end when you bring the dog home; in a very real way, you will be rescuing her for the rest of her life.

Congratulations, and good luck!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jack
www.purelydogbeds.com


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

Let her settle in, putting her somewhere she feels safe when men visit, even if in another room, for now. After a couple of weeks, start having strangers/men toss a treat to her when they walk by. tell them not to say anything or use eye contact, just drop the treat to her. Eventually, bring her into the same room on a leash, and have them ignore her, while you sit with her at a safe distance, And let them toss treats to her. If she wants to go up to them and sniff, or take the treat, tell them to ignore her, but give her the treat.
It will take time (months, sometimes) until she gets comfortable enough to be around strange men. But right now, she needs to be somewhere she can feel secure. Even without strange men around, right now, she is still probably stressed by being in an unfamiliar environment, and you cannot teach a stressed dog. It will take her a couple of weeks to relax. So avoid putting her in situations right now, where you will stress her more. Let her learn to trust you, and look to you for comfort/leadership.
I'll have to disagree with the poster above about having the people in the room sit with people talking to her with outstretched hands. That will completely freak her out and stress her more.


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## DJsMom (Jun 6, 2008)

Our dog Coco is the same way. She was very frightened of my hubby for the first few days after we adopted her. By the end of a week they were good buddies. Now, after a year of living with us, I honestly think she may be more bonded to him than me. 
Until she felt comfortable with him, he didn't approach her, just ignored her until she would approach him, then he'd hold out his hand for her. He just took it slowly. Gave her treats & fed her once in awhile whenever he fed or treated DJ.
Now she gets along with male friends & such that come to our house, but she basically just keeps her distance with strange men.


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