# Abusive Dog Owner. JUST TRYING TO VENT.



## BananaHana (Dec 22, 2010)

I have an 8mnth old Lab/Chow mix. Im very happy with her and I try to do everything right, feed her and then walk her, play with her in the backyard and discipline her with just a firm (but not too hard) touch. but it seems like everytime I correct her she doesnt listen. I know I have to improve on that and it seems like results are showing on the walks were she doesnt pull as much and she just follow my stride. 

My problem is that... at once, (let me say this happens once every 2 months). My son scared the dog while eating in her crate and kind of growled. I had to correct her but my (bully) husband got to her first and punched her face, the dog ended up "scared" peeping in her crate, I tried to clean it up and she wiggled her way out of me and the crate and my husband got mad grabbed her and punch the dogs face again, I then kept telling him to stop. he kept saying mean things about the dog. I kept on crying after that because I just feel so bad for the dog, Ive never seen such a thing before I met him, not even my mother who doesnt really like dogs never say anything. AND so I told him, "lets just give her away" and he kept letting NO and that he just cant control it when the dog growled at my son. In the bottom of my heart I really dont wanna give her away, the dog gives me so much happiness with just her cute face and plays with my son. but i feel like its best for her to go to someone who wont do any harm to her not even words. I know the dog doesnt understand anything he said, but his energys just draining, to me and the dog. 

I know I have to but I havent come to terms with that yet. It just hurts me what a horrible person he is and its my fault why the dog is suffering. Ive never seen this side of him until the dog came.:redface: Im on the point of breaking down again. Because i keep blamming my self why the dog is in this situation. sometimes I ended up getting depressed. Any advice on how to deal with the husband?


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## ioreks_mom (Oct 1, 2008)

i would give the dog to another family, one who will work with the dog since she clearly needs a lot of love and attention and someone who is willing to work through her fear issues. 

and, honestly, i would get rid of the husband. sorry to be so blunt but i, personally, would NEVER be with someone who is so violent. i don't trust anyone who would hurt another living thing like that. either that or get the 2 of you into therapy to figure out why he is so violent and how to work through it.


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## sandydj (Sep 27, 2010)

Punching the dog in the face is very extreme..I would try to rehome the dog , because it is rare that these things DO NOT happen more than once.

Sorry 

I would also be concerned about your husband being capable of that kind of violence towards animals. I would never be able to respect my husband again if something like that happened..it would be very damaging to our marriage ..I don't know what I would do. I would not be able to get past it.

I know it is easy to just say get rid of the husband..but I realize that with kids and a life together it isn;t that cut and dry. But definitely remove the dog from the situation and do not get any other animals. And also , watch for signs of escalating violence . Sometime an abusers first strike is towards an animal..things can progress from there , even if you have been together without incident for years..there could be something like depression going on which in turn could mean this is episide one of " his other side" rather than an isolated incident. So just keep an eye out for other behavior. 

Sorry this happened to you and your dog.


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## beverley (Oct 7, 2010)

for me its the principle....if i discovered my husband to be that violent, he would have to move out, especially as it was towards something weaker than himself i call that cowardly bullying. please rehome the dog, dogs will make mistakes and this one definately deserves a lot better. sorry this happened to you.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I feel like you know rehoming the dog is the best thing to do right now, but I know it's hard. Be strong and think about how you'd feel if you KEPT the dog and it happened AGAIN. Then, you'd be even more upset with yourself, thinking about how you should have rehomed it the first time..... 

I know relationships are complex. But, really, if your husband can become violent with a dog over growling and peeing, think about what he could do to you or your son if he became angry at you. I mean, he admitted to you that he just couldn't control himself when he heard the dog growl at your son. What's to say he'll be able to control himself around you and your son?


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## BrittanieJo (Sep 23, 2010)

Get out now, take the dog with you if you feel you can care for her or take her till you can find her a better home. Take you and your son and LEAVE. A man who does this to a dog will not hesitate to do it to a child. Honestly, the minute ANY person hits my dog I'm hitting them, let alone PUNCHING a dog. Definitely not ok.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

If your kid did actually scare the dog and she growled out of fear, correcting her in any way is the wrong thing to do -- it will just reinforce the idea that bad things happen when your son is around. Punching her in the face is _definitely_ not the right move, but you know that. Please, if you really care about this dog, find her a new home immediately. She'd be better off even dropped at a shelter than living with a man who will punch her in the face repeatedly, even when his wife is crying and begging him not to. The dog didn't even bite your kid -- this man punched her over a _growl_. Your dog is not safe in your house. 

I'm not going to tell you what to do about the husband, because I have no idea how he treats you or whether or not he could become abusive towards you. That is for you to determine. I can say that if _anyone_ ever punched my dog, they would end up badly injured (by _me_) and out of my life.


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## Lindbert (Dec 12, 2010)

If you care about the puppy, find her a new home as soon as possible. If your husband punches her in the face simply for GROWLING, what will he do when she eventually bites someone without warning because growling has such horrible consequences?


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## Sexybeast (Mar 23, 2011)

I'm sorry that you started a life with him. I can only pray that you somehow wouldn't need to give away your dog. Perhaps try to explain to your husband how it hurts you and isn't necessary. Maybe he'll come through.


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## GottaLuvMutts (Jun 1, 2009)

First and foremost, dump the husband. If you feel capable of supporting the dog and your son, then keep the dog - otherwise, rehome her. There may be resources available in your area, such as temporary housing for the dog while you get on your feet, if needed.


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## mustlovedogs123 (Mar 23, 2011)

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.


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## GypsyJazmine (Nov 27, 2009)

You need to get rid of your husband & keep the dog!!!
After knowing he is capable of what he did to your poor dog I would never trust him around my child!
What a piece of work!


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

Someone that could do that to an animal, WILL do that to you or your child...it's just a matter of time. My first instinct is to tell you to take the dog and your child and leave immediately. But if you aren't ready for that, find a new home for your dog today. Do not wait. If you have to, call all rescues and tell them what you typed here, and see if they will take him. Offer to pay a fee for shots/neutering/microchip, if you can, but find him a home right away. Then work on getting your husband to anger management classes.

Your husband may also be using the dog to control you. He is hurting something you love, so you will fear his power/control. By refusing to let you give her away, he is keeping something he can use to hurt you emotionally. He is the kind of person that would kill/torture the dog in front of you just to hurt you, if he were upset with you. 

Your situation scares the crap out of me, because I can easily see him abusing you or your son.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

spotted nikes said:


> Someone that could do that to an animal, WILL do that to you or your child...it's just a matter of time. My first instinct is to tell you to take the dog and your child and leave immediately. But if you aren't ready for that, find a new home for your dog today. Do not wait. If you have to, call all rescues and tell them what you typed here, and see if they will take him. Offer to pay a fee for shots/neutering/microchip, if you can, but find him a home right away. Then work on getting your husband to anger management classes.
> 
> Your husband may also be using the dog to control you. He is hurting something you love, so you will fear his power/control. By refusing to let you give her away, he is keeping something he can use to hurt you emotionally. He is the kind of person that would kill/torture the dog in front of you just to hurt you, if he were upset with you.
> 
> Your situation scares the crap out of me, because I can easily see him abusing you or your son.


Yeah, anyone that would do that to a dog will do it do you or your son eventually. Questions as to why you would marry someone like this (you had to have known that he had these tendencies earlier)


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## cshellenberger (Dec 2, 2006)

beverley said:


> for me its the principle....if i discovered my husband to be that violent, he would have to move out, especially as it was towards something weaker than himself i call that cowardly bullying. please rehome the dog, dogs will make mistakes and this one definately deserves a lot better. sorry this happened to you.


 
If he'll be that violent to a dog, he WILL be that violent to you and your child (if he's not already) take it from the voice of experiance here, take the dog and your child and get the hell out! He obviously already being emotionally abussive to you (by hitting something he knows you value) it will escalate.


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## Shandwill (Jul 23, 2010)

Speaking as a therapist...I work with women daily who have been the victims of domestic violence. Everyone who has voiced concern about his violent behavior escalating is absolutely right. Many times, violence starts with property, then pets, then children, then adults. The dog was responding as many dogs would when crated, eating, and approached by another animal or person. You clearly know that his response was cowardly, inappropriate, and traumatic to the dog, you, AND your child. Boys often model the men in their lives, particularly their father or father figure. What do you want your son to learn? Frankly, if something doesn't change, he will learn that it is okay to disrespect you, make women in his future cry, harm other living things, and communicate with his fists.
I agree with others in saying that if you are not ready to leave this "man", please rehome your dog. You are an adult and can make your own decisions, but please make wise decisions for your dog and your child. They depend on you to keep them safe. You, your son, and your dog are in my prayers.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

I haven't seen her reply lately... I hope she, the dog & her poor poor son are ok.:'( No one should have to go through that, I hope that hubby didn't catch her on this forum :.

I have to say that if my hubby would ever raise a hand to my dogs he would be out... But he also would have to make a stop at the ER because Izze would have bitten him quite badly. I know this because she has witnessed a few heated arguments btw us & has gotten aggressive twds him, he didn't do anything or make a move at me, but his energy was angry, which set her off.


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## Shandwill (Jul 23, 2010)

dogdragoness said:


> I haven't seen her reply lately... I hope she, the dog & her poor poor son are ok.:'( No one should have to go through that, I hope that hubby didn't catch her on this forum :.
> 
> I have to say that if my hubby would ever raise a hand to my dogs he would be out... But he also would have to make a stop at the ER because Izze would have bitten him quite badly. I know this because she has witnessed a few heated arguments btw us & has gotten aggressive twds him, he didn't do anything or make a move at me, but his energy was angry, which set her off.


Russia has the same response. If voiced get raised she will push me away and stare my DH down...he knows to respect the Russia!  If anyone tried to punch her, they better knock her (and me!) out the first time. 
My hope is that the OP is not "real" and is just trying to stir up emotion on the board by telling stories, but unfortunately, I fear that this is a real situation. As you mentioned, DD, I hope that her husband didn't see the forum or read responses in her email.


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## WTBB (Mar 23, 2011)

dogdragoness said:


> Yeah, anyone that would do that to a dog will do it do you or your son eventually. *Questions as to why you would marry someone like this (you had to have known that he had these tendencies earlier)*


I kind of feel as though this isnt exactly fair. It's not uncommon for a spouse to show their true colors until later on in a relationship. It is very sad that she is in this position for sure.

It's only my opinion but I would rehome the dog immediatly. Then I would consider whether the relationship is salvageable. Therapy may or may not help, one never knows. But in the end he knows that it gets to her when he harms the dog, the dog could end up even more severly injured as a ploy to hurt her.

I have two Giant breed dogs and my husband watches verrrrry closely to see how they react around children. If they show teeth or lunge as if to harm someone, they are goners. I hate to say this but especially with the size of our dogs we cannot take a chance. I would never beat my dog for growling but I would definitly discipline over showing teeth or other signs of agression. 
Im wondering how many times this guy has possibly hurt this dog while she wasnt around?


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## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

First of all, how long have you had your dog and how long have you been with your husband? How has he acted with animals in the past? Did he show any remorse for what he did? How is his temper in general? How is he towards you and your son? If this is the _first incident that has ever happened_, I'd be rip shit and would make sure he knew it, but imediatly divorcing him to me seems kind of brash. Sometimes underlying stress in a person's life can cause them to snap and do things that they wouldn't normally do, and animals unfortunately can be the target for this, because deep within our subconcious they are still considered "lesser beings". It does NOT necessarily mean you or your child are in danger however. Cases like this can sometimes pass on to spouses and children, but usually there's a lot more signs of something like that happening in a person (bad tempers to begin with, name calling, destructive, etc.). Only YOU know the answer to that and in the end it's entirely YOUR decision as to weather or not this is an issue you want to work through with him.

If this has really upset you though, I'd consider rehoming the dog or atleast giving her to someone who can watch her for a little while until you get this mess sorted out.


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## remydog (Mar 6, 2011)

It's only a matter of time until you and your son are on the receiving end of the fist. I agree with the majority of posters, get rid of husband and keep the dog.

However, if you aren't willing to do that then you need to find a new home for your pup and never get another pet of any kind and best to stop producing children with your current husband.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

WTBB said:


> I kind of feel as though this isnt exactly fair. It's not uncommon for a spouse to show their true colors until later on in a relationship. It is very sad that she is in this position for sure.
> 
> It's only my opinion but I would rehome the dog immediatly. Then I would consider whether the relationship is salvageable. Therapy may or may not help, one never knows. But in the end he knows that it gets to her when he harms the dog, the dog could end up even more severly injured as a ploy to hurt her.
> 
> ...


Most men there are 'signs' early on but they can be subtle & the victim aften sees them in retrospect. My dogs are partly the reason that I don't have kids lol because Izze does NOT do kids in any way or form she's 8 going on 9 now so we have a little to wait lol lol.

I tent to think that kids are allowed to get away with way too much when dogs are concerned & the b poor dogs aren't allowed to do anything to communicate, remember growling & duh are a dogs ways of communicating their feelings


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## RubyFeuer (Mar 30, 2010)

Remorse doesn't mean anything from an abuser. They will hurt you (mentally or physically) or other things say, "ooooooo I'm so sorry! I couldn't control it! Please don't leave me! I'm so sorry it will never happen again!" And then it does happen again because you fell for it and stuck around. He knows that if you stick around you will probably always stay. Even if it gets to the point of beating the child or dog or really injuring them. One day you will try to get in between him and what he is hurting and you will take the rest of the beating for whatever it was and then your own for getting in the way.


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## lisaj1354 (Feb 23, 2008)

*Get out now.*

What makes you think that his beating on the dog won't eventually extend to you and your kids?


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## tigress (Feb 6, 2008)

dogdragoness said:


> Yeah, anyone that would do that to a dog will do it do you or your son eventually. Questions as to why you would marry someone like this (you had to have known that he had these tendencies earlier)


That is an incredibly not helpful statement. The OP already is showing she feels extreme guilt and trying to pile it on and make her feel even worse really isn't going to help the matter (first of all, leaving some one you have to have some confidence in yourself to make it on your own, especially with a child).

Anyways, OP, if you are still reading, I'd say my first instinct is to flee (as others said, I wouldn't trust it wouldn't escalate to you or your son). I dunno, it just seems a very strong indicator that he is not a guy you want to stay around. And as some one pointed out, your son could easily start being impressioned that that kind of thing is acceptable if he keeps seeing that (and seeing that you let him do it).

I know it is hard and probably scary to leave the husband, but at least be very hyper aware of your husband's actions and if he starts showing more signs of violence or violent outbursts, I'd say be ready to leave (whether you decide you don't want to now, at least make preperations so if he shows this isn't a one time fluke you are ready to just leave at a moment's notice. I'd say make preparations and just leave when you can and forget waiting but at least be prepared to leave).


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

RCloud said:


> First of all, how long have you had your dog and how long have you been with your husband? How has he acted with animals in the past? Did he show any remorse for what he did? How is his temper in general? How is he towards you and your son? If this is the _first incident that has ever happened_, I'd be rip shit and would make sure he knew it, but imediatly divorcing him to me seems kind of brash. Sometimes underlying stress in a person's life can cause them to snap and do things that they wouldn't normally do, and animals unfortunately can be the target for this, because deep within our subconcious they are still considered "lesser beings". It does NOT necessarily mean you or your child are in danger however. Cases like this can sometimes pass on to spouses and children, but usually there's a lot more signs of something like that happening in a person (bad tempers to begin with, name calling, destructive, etc.). Only YOU know the answer to that and in the end it's entirely YOUR decision as to weather or not this is an issue you want to work through with him.
> 
> If this has really upset you though, I'd consider rehoming the dog or atleast giving her to someone who can watch her for a little while until you get this mess sorted out.


 I'm sorry, but I seriously disagree. All spouse, child abusers will act VERY remorseful afterwards, apologizing profusely, telling them they love them, saying they don't know why it happened and promising it will never happen again. That's why victims will stay with the abuser at first, and hide the abuse from others and even deny to family it ever happened, and lie about how they got hurt. The victim will try to explain it away, thinking things like "He's under stress", or "If I hadn't made him so angry, it wouldn't have happened", and even blame themselves, and vow to try to be a better wife/husband. Eventually, when they want to leave, they are so fearful, many don't.

Abusers don't usually start out beating their spouse right away. The signs of a potential abuser are usually very subtle, and easily explained away by a spouse who wants to believe in her spouse. The biggest red flag, is about control. Control of time, money, activities, relationships with friends and family. The potential abuser will use put downs to belittle and diminish their spouses sense of self worth and make them doubt themself. They will try to limit the time the victim spends with friends and family, and outside activities. They will insist on things being a certain way. They may monitor phone calls by looking at phone bills, or monitor driving by checking the car's mileage. They will usually act jealous and possessive, which at first, is flattering to the victim, as they think, "He loves me so much, he can't even stand the thought of another man talking to me/or worries he will lose me". They will usually start with emotional abuse, by doing things to make the victim think that arguments are her fault. They show a lack of respect for feelings, by belittling her opinion, or doing things to hurt her emotionally. They may accent their arguments with outbursts involving punching walls, hitting things or breaking things. 

OP- if you are reading this, I'm sure you are thinking, "But my husband loves me...he was just worried about the kid/upset that the dog growled". He may love you, but is dangerous to your dog now, and potentially dangerous to you and your child. Abusers escalate. They don't get better on their own. Their is nothing you can do to change him or his reactions. A normal, non abusive person wouldn't dream of punching and animal, and then continueing to do so while you scream and cry. If you keep this dog, he will eventually kill it, or injure it so severely, it will need to be put down. Or he will use threats of hurting the dog to control your behavior. You MUST get rid of the dog immediately.

If you can't leave your husband yet, go talk to someone at a spouse abuse center or hotline. They will tell you the same things we have told you. Protect yourself and your child. Get a credit card in your name, and don't use it but keep it for emergencies. Try to set up a savings account and put a small amount of money in it regularly to give you funds for an emergency. Maintain relationships with friends and family. Keep an extra set of car keys hidden somewhere. The first time he lays a hand on you or your child or threatens to, GET OUT. He WILL NOT change.


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## Labmom4 (Feb 1, 2011)

I have to disagree too, RCloud. No matter how stressed and upset my husband (or myself) is, there are limits. He's snapped due to stress or anger before, but he's never, in the 20 years I've known him, lifted a hand to anybody, human or animal. I would never stay with a man that was capable of doing that, not even one time. If someone is capable of doing it once, they're capable of doing it again.


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## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

spotted nikes said:


> I'm sorry, but I seriously disagree. All spouse, child abusers will act VERY remorseful afterwards, apologizing profusely, telling them they love them, saying they don't know why it happened and promising it will never happen again. That's why victims will stay with the abuser at first, and hide the abuse from others and even deny to family it ever happened, and lie about how they got hurt. The victim will try to explain it away, thinking things like "He's under stress", or "If I hadn't made him so angry, it wouldn't have happened", and even blame themselves, and vow to try to be a better wife/husband. Eventually, when they want to leave, they are so fearful, many don't.
> 
> Abusers don't usually start out beating their spouse right away. The signs of a potential abuser are usually very subtle, and easily explained away by a spouse who wants to believe in her spouse. The biggest red flag, is about control. Control of time, money, activities, relationships with friends and family. The potential abuser will use put downs to belittle and diminish their spouses sense of self worth and make them doubt themself. They will try to limit the time the victim spends with friends and family, and outside activities. They will insist on things being a certain way. They may monitor phone calls by looking at phone bills, or monitor driving by checking the car's mileage. They will usually act jealous and possessive, which at first, is flattering to the victim, as they think, "He loves me so much, he can't even stand the thought of another man talking to me/or worries he will lose me". They will usually start with emotional abuse, by doing things to make the victim think that arguments are her fault. They show a lack of respect for feelings, by belittling her opinion, or doing things to hurt her emotionally. They may accent their arguments with outbursts involving punching walls, hitting things or breaking things.
> 
> ...


I'm not up for debating this, but let me put it this way. Not long after we first got our dog, my husband, who's the most non-violent human being who's ever walked the earth, smacked her ONCE when she pissed all over our bed. He spent the rest of the night and part of the next day crying over it, not because I was angry and tore him a new a-hole for it, but simply because of the guilt he felt. This was during a time when he was going through some highly stressful BS at his job and was very frustrated and on edge. That wasn't the last or worse stressful situation time we had endured together, but he has never even HINTED at doing it again. And above all, he has certainly never EVER ONCE raised his hand to me or any other person or animal. If someone ever told me he's dangerous and he would start beating me and I needed to divorce him imediatly, I'd just laugh in their face. There is absolutely NO excuse for animal abuse of any sort and it's not something anyone should tolerate regardless of the relationship, but we don't know these people in person and weren't there to see what actually happened, and trying to tell this lady what she should do with HER marriage is kind of ridiculous. Just my two cents for whatever it's worth.


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## shylynn (Mar 3, 2011)

I've read enough to know that this is abuse! I've been in this sort of relationship before and I was strong enough to pack up and leave. If I can do it so can you! Why should you cry and beg for someone to stop beating up a family member? Why should this dog find a new home? This obviously isn't YOUR fault nor is it your sons fault! No, its not easy to just pack up and leave but let me tell you this,.. after nine years of abuse with my ex husband and two children watching it, YES it was easy to leave!!! No one will help you either, you have to help yourself. It starts with your pet and it WILL happen to you and your child next if it hasn't already! I don't personally know your situation but I can tell you from experience the grass IS greener on the other side and it sure is a hell of a lot healthier for you, your son and your dog! I truly hope you find some sort of strength in your bones to more forward and leave the abuser behind. Was your son sitting there while he punched this poor animal in the face repeatedly? That in itself is abuse! Your son is going to grow up thinking its okay to punch a dog in the face just because it was scared and peed itself. What kind of example is that? And watch out for "I can change!" They never change and it only gets worse because they are testing the waters to see what more they can get away with. I truly hope you find help and re-think this relationship! Again, I don't know the full story but punching a dog "family member" in the face is a SURE sign that something is wrong with this guy.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

RCloud, I'm glad the incident with you happened once, and just once. But, it isn't always like that. There is a lot of data out about how many abusers DO repeat after the first incident, and about how many abusers DO start with animals and progress.
And, maybe there is a difference between "smacking" a dog and punching it in the face and then grabbing it as it tried to get away and punching it in the face again, as the OP's husband did.


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## the_mighty_khan (Nov 10, 2009)

When you say "smacked" do you mean an open handed slap? Because that's a lot different than being punched in the face repeatedly.


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## cshellenberger (Dec 2, 2006)

RCloud, as others have said, a smack ONCE is a far cry from repeatedly punching. I too have been in an abusive relationsship, I see all too well the pattern.


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## Amstaffbruiser (Jan 12, 2011)

Wow, this thread is such a bummer. I really hope that this woman is able to come up with a decent solution. I agree with almost every post in here!


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Same here I'm sorry for I'm insensitive post earlier, I didn't realize that it was so insensitive. I do understand what you are saying cloud, bit I agree that punching a dog in the face repeatedly is not the same as smacking a dog with ones open hand. I think that a good number of us have been guilty of that kind of knew jerk reaction (myself included). 

Sometimes my hubby & I have fights most concerning me forgetting things... Whatever they may be, & the fact that I mess up alot, I have a seriously ADD mind that I control pretty well without meds which have lots of dangerous side effects. So we are always not on the same page due to that but he has never raised a hand to me or my dogs!


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## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

the_mighty_khan said:


> When you say "smacked" do you mean an open handed slap? Because that's a lot different than being punched in the face repeatedly.


It was a hard slap to her face. Hard enough to make her cry and and go cowering in a corner, terrified. It wasn't a repeated beating ordeal, he hit her once and went into the other room and cried for most of the night after I chewed him out and made it clear that I wouldn't put up with that, and it never happened again. But if I had come on here that night in my state of anger to vent and essentially said "My husband just got really angry and hit our dog really hard" without elaborating in the way that I had just now, I _guarantee_ you all would of had the exact same reaction as you are here. Remember, it's easy to jump to conclusions when it comes to stories like this on the internet and you don't have an insiders point of view as to what exactly happened.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

I just go with my womans intuition on these kinds of things. If the OP had said that it was one punch & he froze, realized what he had done & left the room quickly but he didn't, the dog growled at son, got punched repeatedly then peed herself out of fear & got punched again. In the end the OP knows in the back of her mind weather things don't ad up. She came on a public forum & asked our opinions & got them. I'm not saying she should take my advice bit a few ppl who have lived through this & a therapist or 2 have agreed also with the posters here.


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## RubyFeuer (Mar 30, 2010)

I wonder what happened to OP...


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

RubyFeuer said:


> I wonder what happened to OP...


Don't know, hope she is all right.


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## RubyFeuer (Mar 30, 2010)

I hope so too.


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## Bones (Sep 11, 2009)

Go buy a baseball bat and if he hits the dog again beat him over the head with it and ask him how it feels.


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## kmmcjones (Mar 24, 2011)

I would find the dog a new home too and about the husband, its not our place to make that decision, but its sad. I hope you and your son are safe :-(


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## tigress (Feb 6, 2008)

dogdragoness said:


> Don't know, hope she is all right.





RubyFeuer said:


> I hope so too.


Honestly? I hope she (he?) is trolling otherwise I'd be a little worried right now that she hasn't come back... 

If she's not a troll I hope it was just a one time incident and she's just lost interest in the forum now that everything is ok. Granted, I honestly don't think punching a dog in the face repeatedly sounds like a "frustrated/bad time in life" thing more than a "scary get out now" kind of thing. But one can hope.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

RCloud said:


> It was a hard slap to her face. Hard enough to make her cry and and go cowering in a corner, terrified. It wasn't a repeated beating ordeal, he hit her once and went into the other room and cried for most of the night after I chewed him out and made it clear that I wouldn't put up with that, and it never happened again. But if I had come on here that night in my state of anger to vent and essentially said "My husband just got really angry and hit our dog really hard" without elaborating in the way that I had just now, I _guarantee_ you all would of had the exact same reaction as you are here. Remember, it's easy to jump to conclusions when it comes to stories like this on the internet and you don't have an insiders point of view as to what exactly happened.


You _guarantee_ we would have had the same reaction? I can only speak for myself, but if the OP had said, or if you had come on and posted about your event that the husband hit the dog hard I _wouldn't_ have reacted as strongly, because there is a huge difference between smacking the dog hard, and punching it in the face, grabbing for it when it tried to get away, and punching it again.

Oh, yes, I would have had some comments about how it was unnecessary and inappropriate to treat a dog like that, even if it was just a smack, but I definitely wouldn't have involved myself in recommending the OP be worried for her safety and that of her son, OR that she needed to leave the relationship. Big difference to me....


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

I agree, for her sake I hope she is trolling, or at least perhaps she got out & hasn't been able to get to a computer perhaps?


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## the_mighty_khan (Nov 10, 2009)

RCloud said:


> It was a hard slap to her face. Hard enough to make her cry and and go cowering in a corner, terrified. It wasn't a repeated beating ordeal, he hit her once and went into the other room and cried for most of the night after I chewed him out and made it clear that I wouldn't put up with that, and it never happened again. But if I had come on here that night in my state of anger to vent and essentially said "My husband just got really angry and hit our dog really hard" without elaborating in the way that I had just now, I _guarantee_ you all would of had the exact same reaction as you are here. Remember, it's easy to jump to conclusions when it comes to stories like this on the internet and you don't have an insiders point of view as to what exactly happened.


My reaction to your story was to ask you to elaborate. Your husband snapped and did a stupid thing, but then got himself under control immediately thereafter. The OP's husband repeatedly punched a dog in the face all while his wife cried for him to stop. That's a lot different, IMO. From the OP's description of the event, this guy obviously has severe anger issues and a lack of self-control. That is a dangerous combination. That's why these people are so concerned.


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## yappypappymom (Oct 22, 2009)

I have 2 paps, &...just want to add that were someone ever to hit them, let alone "punch" them, well, ONCE would have been "it" as far as chances of humans go. BUT...in mind of how this thread is structured.....sounds to me as is if the abuser has too much control over the entire family period. 
NOT FOR ME!!! If any would like to hit one or both of my 2, well, God help them...I would protect my 2 w/my life!! NOONE is going to screw around w/my dogs happiness....''till the day they die, my kids are sincerely protected just like family members...I love them, they are loyall, &, I give them back all that I receive.


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## cshellenberger (Dec 2, 2006)

RCloud said:


> First of all, how long have you had your dog and how long have you been with your husband? How has he acted with animals in the past? Did he show any remorse for what he did? How is his temper in general? How is he towards you and your son? If this is the _first incident that has ever happened_, I'd be rip shit and would make sure he knew it, but imediatly divorcing him to me seems kind of brash. Sometimes underlying stress in a person's life can cause them to snap and do things that they wouldn't normally do, and animals unfortunately can be the target for this, because deep within our subconcious they are still considered "lesser beings". It does NOT necessarily mean you or your child are in danger however. Cases like this can sometimes pass on to spouses and children, but usually there's a lot more signs of something like that happening in a person (bad tempers to begin with, name calling, destructive, etc.). Only YOU know the answer to that and in the end it's entirely YOUR decision as to weather or not this is an issue you want to work through with him.
> 
> If this has really upset you though, I'd consider rehoming the dog or atleast giving her to someone who can watch her for a little while until you get this mess sorted out.


My dear, my Ex was always remorseful after hitting me, he apologized profusely and turned on the charm (then make it out that I had somehow done something to 'deserve' it), he also didn't start until after we were married. It wasn't until he started becoming abusive to our 9 month old daughters that I got out to protect THEM and woke up. 


As far as what your husband did vs what is described in the OP's first post, it is VERY different. A one time slap and immeadiate remorsful ness vs this guy repeatedly punching the dog not once, but TWICE and showing no remorse and in fact blaming the dog for HIS lack of control, that's CLASSIC abuser who WILL escalate.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

Absolutely, I know no one is perfect, we all lose our cools & do things we regret in the heat of the moment, & sometimes more then once. There is alot of difference btw being stressed at work & punching a dog in the face multiple times. I think that is also what everyone was getting at also.


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## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

So if my husband's hand had been closed in a fist instead of opened in a slap it would have TOTALLY changed things and made him a dangerous wife-beater, right? Please.

I know you people all mean well, but as I've said over and over, we were not there to see what happened, we're going off the words of a user we don't know is person who is upset and venting. We're all human and we've ALL made bad mistakes with animals when not in the proper head space at some point in our lives, and if anyone claims they haven't, then please, get off your high horse and stop the ego-stroking BS. If this is the first time her husband has ever done anything like this before (and from the sounds of it, it is, hence why she's "never seen this side of him before") and has never shown violent or dangerous tendencies towards herself or anyone else ever before, then I'm sorry but imediatly packing up and divorcing ASAP is a VERY stupid and harsh decision to make at this point. If he does it again? Then yeah, I'd agree there are deeper issues and I personally would consider moving out. But that's HER call to make.

Also for the people who keep trying to insist they know an abuser when they....hear about one, because they themselves had been in one before, guess what? I was in a VERY abusive relationship for a good 8 years. I was finally, after all that time, able to leave him after he fractured my jaw one night. And you know what else? He LOVED animals and never considered once ever hurting the ones we had! It goes BOTH ways, and I know some people do start off beating animals, but one incident doesn't = a dangerous abuser. 

This is all I have to say on this subject.


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## sassafras (Jun 22, 2010)

RCloud said:


> So if my husband's hand had been closed in a fist instead of opened in a slap it would have TOTALLY changed things and made him a dangerous wife-beater, right? Please.


No, in fact people are making a very clear argument that it is the difference in behavior during, and after the actual strike that separates the OP's situation from yours. (Which I happen to agree with.) 

Are you arguing that there isn't a difference between your husband's immediate and lengthy remorse vs. the OP's lack of remorse and continuing to strike while being asked to stop? Really? I get that you're defending your husband, here, but nobody's calling him an abuser and the situations are completely different from where I'm sitting.


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## tigress (Feb 6, 2008)

sassafras said:


> No, in fact people are making a very clear argument that it is the difference in behavior during, and after the actual strike that separates the OP's situation from yours. (Which I happen to agree with.)
> 
> Are you arguing that there isn't a difference between your husband's immediate and lengthy remorse vs. the OP's lack of remorse and continuing to strike while being asked to stop? Really? I get that you're defending your husband, here, but nobody's calling him an abuser and the situations are completely different from where I'm sitting.


Gotta agree. And yes, it does matter to me whether closed fist or open hand.

Open hand I can easily see being an impulse of anger/frustration expressed outwardly vs. closed fist means you were thinking about doing the most damage you could with your hands. Yeah, the second one also is an expression of frustration, but it is also some one who is trying to do more damage by remembering to close his hands in a fist vs. a natural impulse to just hit (you have to be taught to punch, it's a natural instinct more to slap with an open hand).


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## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

sassafras said:


> No, in fact people are making a very clear argument that it is the difference in behavior during, and after the actual strike that separates the OP's situation from yours. (Which I happen to agree with.)
> 
> Are you arguing that there isn't a difference between your husband's immediate and lengthy remorse vs. the OP's lack of remorse and continuing to strike while being asked to stop? Really? I get that you're defending your husband, here, but nobody's calling him an abuser and the situations are completely different from where I'm sitting.


No. The situation I used with my husband was just an example to prove that "*we're all human and we've ALL made bad mistakes with animals when not in the proper head space at some point in our lives, and if anyone claims they haven't, then please, get off your high horse and stop the ego-stroking BS*". I wasn't there to see what happened first hand to this lady, but I DO understand the concept of people making mistakes and not to imediatly judge someone based on what their venting partner says. That is the point I've been trying to make this whole time, and the point that the majority of you are missing. 

I'm done with this thread.


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## sassafras (Jun 22, 2010)

Well since we'll never likely meet the OP or her husband, all we have to judge them on is the post. Just like every other post on DF. *shrug*


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

"High horse, and ego stroking BS"? I'm sorry, I've never, ever, ever made that kind of "mistake" with any one of the pets I've ever had in my life. I may have shouted when I shouldn't have, or ignored them when I was frustrated with them, but I've NEVER hit or touched my dogs or cats in anger. EVER. I resent being told if I don't admit to making that kind of mistake, I am on a high horse spouting ego stroking BS.

I agree with Sassafras, you have to "judge" based on the info we're given. The info the OP gave, and the info RCloud gave is VASTLY different, and would have got different responses from me, and from lots of others based on the subsequent posts.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

RCloud said:


> So if my husband's hand had been closed in a fist instead of opened in a slap it would have TOTALLY changed things and made him a dangerous wife-beater, right? Please.


The two situations are not the same at all. Your husband slapped your dog and immediately felt bad about it. The OP's husband punched the dog so hard it peed. Then, when the OP started cleaning up the pee, the dog got out of its crate and the husband grabbed it and punched it _again_ while the OP cried. Then he ranted about the dog while she continued to cry. Afterwards, he didn't apologize; in fact, he justified his actions by saying he just couldn't control himself when the dog growled at his kid. Not bit -- _growled_. 

I know you're projecting here because you assume we'd all judge your husband like we did with this guy, but we wouldn't. We don't. It's not just the open hand vs. closed fist thing. It's the fact that the OP's husband punched the dog _twice_ (with at least enough time between attacks that the OP had gotten cleaning supplies and started cleaning up the pee) and that he didn't express remorse. 

Also, she didn't say he'd never acted like this before. She said, "Ive never seen such a thing before I met him" and "Ive never seen this side of him until the dog came." It sounds like he has never liked the dog, although this may have been the first time he actually punched it. She also said, "his energys just draining" and referred to him as "a horrible person" and her "bully" husband, which is not something you say about a happy, loving man.

And yeah, we're judging based on her post. What else do we have to go by? If our posts are offensive or wrong, she'll come back and clear things up.


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## Labmom4 (Feb 1, 2011)

doxiemommy said:


> "High horse, and ego stroking BS"? I'm sorry, I've never, ever, ever made that kind of "mistake" with any one of the pets I've ever had in my life. I may have shouted when I shouldn't have, or ignored them when I was frustrated with them, but I've NEVER hit or touched my dogs or cats in anger. EVER. I resent being told if I don't admit to making that kind of mistake, I am on a high horse spouting ego stroking BS.
> 
> I agree with Sassafras, you have to "judge" based on the info we're given. The info the OP gave, and the info RCloud gave is VASTLY different, and would have got different responses from me, and from lots of others based on the subsequent posts.


 Guess I'm on a 'high horse' also. I thought long and hard and cant think of a single time I've ever come close to making that type of 'mistake'. Yeah, I've yelled, called them s***head in anger, but I've never lifted a hand or foot or anything towards any animal. I dont have it in me.
Theres a *huge* difference between a slap and a punch.


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## discin (Mar 22, 2011)

I don't believe this was a one-time event, based on the following statements by the OP:

"My problem is that... at once, (let me say this happens once every 2 months)."
It happens every couple of months.

"but his energys just draining, to me and the dog."
Consistently draining.

"Ive never seen this side of him until the dog came"
She didn't say she didn't see this side of him until this event, she didn't see it UNTIL THE DOG CAME.

"sometimes I ended up getting depressed."
Sometimes = more than once.

Get out. Now. Take your dog and son with you.


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## malamutelove (Dec 6, 2010)

Bones said:


> Go buy a baseball bat and if he hits the dog again beat him over the head with it and ask him how it feels.


hahahaha this cracked me up.


I agree with everyone else!!! I think you need to think about having this dog put up for adoption or leave with the dog, son etc. Wow if my husband did that I would seriously think about my relationship. If he would do that to a dog would he do it to me? I am glad my husband is the sweetest guy and loves dogs as much as I do!!!!



discin said:


> I don't believe this was a one-time event, based on the following statements by the OP:
> 
> "My problem is that... at once, (let me say this happens once every 2 months)."
> It happens every couple of months.
> ...


I agree!!!


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## BellaPup (Jul 7, 2007)

I believe the OP accomplished what she set out to do - throw a flame into the works. 

I dislike flame throwers as much as the next person - but I sure hope everything is okay.

When my (now ex) b/f slammed my 6 month old Bella into the floor in a fit of rage is when I said "youz gots serious issues, man! I'm outta here and taking my dog with me!" I knew he had some anger problems, but taking it out on innocent, defenseless animals (or children) is where I draw the line. It hurt my heart so bad there was no way I could or *would* ever forgive him...and poor Bella was scared of him after that...understandably!

We left. We never looked back.


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## ThoseWordsAtBest (Mar 18, 2009)

The OPs situation aside, this thread did at least get a laugh out of me with the dramatic "I'm done with this thread. WAIT THIS post I am done with this thread." We make light of people doing that all the time and it just keeps happening. 

In any event, I don't care if a partner never lays a hand on me. I don't tolerate any one striking my dogs be it "open hand" or otherwise. I'm not getting into a semantics argument here, either.


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## upendi'smommy (Nov 12, 2008)

ThoseWordsAtBest said:


> The OPs situation aside, this thread did at least get a laugh out of me with the dramatic "I'm done with this thread. WAIT THIS post I am done with this thread." We make light of people doing that all the time and it just keeps happening.
> 
> In any event, I don't care if a partner never lays a hand on me. I don't tolerate any one striking my dogs be it "open hand" or otherwise. I'm not getting into a semantics argument here, either.


This this this x's 1000.

John already knows that if he were to lay a hand on one of my girls he would be out the door faster than it could hit him on the way out. Happily for all of us, he adores my dogs almost as much as I do.


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## BananaHana (Dec 22, 2010)

Thanks for all the response, but one thing is for sure, Im returning my lovable, loyal and happy dog to the breeder. I cant take that hes using my dog to hurt me. I really tried to explain to him how it hurts me so much on how he treat the dog and even stated that if he could do it to a living thing, he could easily do this to me. and you know what he said he said that "Shes just a dog" I was appauled and disgusted by this. It hurts me so bad that I have put the dog into this situation, that its all my fault why shes getting hurt and not being given the love that she ACTUALLY deserve. I called the breeder and said hell be happy to take her back and let me and my husband work things out and if my husband will cure his issue then we could get her back again. I guess its a win win situation, I could visit the breeders farm and the dog anytime I want and still give her everything she deserves. 

On the husband situation, some of you guys were right that i SHOULD rehome the husband and not the dog. but nothing is that easy, i feel so tricked out when i saw this behaviour from him, i never expected this and never experienced anything like this in my whole life until he came along. Im still trying to figure things out. but thank you guys none the less for all the advice and concerns.


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## Pawzk9 (Jan 3, 2011)

WTBB said:


> I kind of feel as though this isnt exactly fair. It's not uncommon for a spouse to show their true colors until later on in a relationship. It is very sad that she is in this position for sure.
> 
> It's only my opinion but I would rehome the dog immediatly. Then I would consider whether the relationship is salvageable. Therapy may or may not help, one never knows. But in the end he knows that it gets to her when he harms the dog, the dog could end up even more severly injured as a ploy to hurt her.
> 
> ...


If you punish low level warning signs (growling, dragon face) you leave the dog with no option besides biting. I hope when you say these dogs are "goners" it means you find a more appropriate home instead of euthaizing them for normal warning signs. Wondering if the OP is the same person who did not feed the dog for two days. Not finding that post at the moment.


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## A&B (Mar 26, 2011)

Pawzk9 said:


> If you punish low level warning signs (growling, dragon face) you leave the dog with no option besides biting. I hope when you say these dogs are "goners" it means you find a more appropriate home instead of euthaizing them for normal warning signs. Wondering if the OP is the same person who did not feed the dog for two days. Not finding that post at the moment.


You referring to this one?? http://www.dogforums.com/dog-training-forum/88500-dog-growls-when-eating.html


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

upendi'smommy said:


> This this this x's 1000.
> 
> John already knows that if he were to lay a hand on one of my girls he would be out the door faster than it could hit him on the way out. Happily for all of us, he adores my dogs almost as much as I do.


Same here, how could not love dogs, esp your one with the ear down... Very cute


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## Elana55 (Jan 7, 2008)

I think the OP is doing the right thing.. taking the dog back. After all, she is also the same person who ran out of dog food and fed the dog treats for two days because she could not get to the store (wow... I suspect the husband had something to do with that too... and part of the pattern of control from an abuser.. but I could be wrong). 

Sometimes it is better for all involved to NOT have the dog. This is one of those "sometimes." 

I sure hope that Bananahana gets some help and gets it all figured out. Just the other day right near here a confirmed abuser shot his wife and then turned the gun on himself. Both are now dead. The ultimate form of control. I hope that is not the case for the OP.. ever...


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## lisak_87 (Mar 23, 2011)

Elana55 said:


> I think the OP is doing the right thing.. taking the dog back. After all, she is also the same person who ran out of dog food and fed the dog treats for two days because she could not get to the store (wow... I suspect the husband had something to do with that too... and part of the pattern of control from an abuser.. but I could be wrong).
> 
> Sometimes it is better for all involved to NOT have the dog. This is one of those "sometimes."
> 
> I sure hope that Bananahana gets some help and gets it all figured out. Just the other day right near here a confirmed abuser shot his wife and then turned the gun on himself. Both are now dead. The ultimate form of control. I hope that is not the case for the OP.. ever...


Didn't realize this was the same person. Yeah. Definitely agree.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

I'm glad you're taking the dog back, OP. It really is the best thing for the dog in this situation. Now you just look out for yourself and your kid, okay? I'd hate for anything bad to happen to you guys.


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## tigress (Feb 6, 2008)

BananaHana said:


> On the husband situation, some of you guys were right that i SHOULD rehome the husband and not the dog. but nothing is that easy, i feel so tricked out when i saw this behaviour from him, i never expected this and never experienced anything like this in my whole life until he came along. Im still trying to figure things out. but thank you guys none the less for all the advice and concerns.


Um, I will re-iterate even if you are not prepared to leave him, get prepared so you can leave him at a second's notice. It doesn't sound like he is some one you want to be around and I'd prepare to leave him (and honestly, ideally actually leave when you are prepared). Better to do this before it gets worse, not after.

Especially for the sake of your kid.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

banana hanna>> please look after yourself & don't be a stranger on here, we all were worried about you! No one either on this forum or elsewhere can tell you to leave or if its time to leave, only you know that, just trust yourself & if you ever feel scared or unsafe either for yourself or your kid, GET OUT. Its scientific proof that kids who witness spousal abuse grow up to either be abusers, or choose abusers as spouses (if they are girls)


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## BananaHana (Dec 22, 2010)

Well i think that why my husband has this hate for the dog because on that thread where she was starving I explained there that my house and car got buried in 2 1/2 thick of mud and it was still raining hard. The only way I could get out of the house is through the second floor window and down a ladder which slipped and injured my back all because i was going to ask my neighboor if they have other dog food because i tried giving my dog pedigree which she will barely eat and i still know shes hungry but would just refuse to eat it al;l


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

That's not a good reason to hate a dog. Dogs need to eat. I understand being frustrated with that situation at the time, but for him to hold a grudge against the dog is stupid.


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## lisaj1354 (Feb 23, 2008)

1. There is no excuse for abusing a dog. If a person hits a dog for being a dog, its only one very dangerous step away from hitting a person for being a person.

2. There is no excuse for not feeding a dog. If you've run out of food, feed it appropriate human food (no garlic, grapes, raisins, onions) until you have dog food.

3. Any man who abuses a dog will eventually abuse the people around him, including a child.

4. There are resources for abused women, and there is no reason to live in fear. If you love your child, then get out now.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

yes I agree, sometimes my dogs run through DH's gardens when they forget sometimes lol. He gets mad & b**ches at them, but he would never strike one of them.


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## tigress (Feb 6, 2008)

BananaHana said:


> Well i think that why my husband has this hate for the dog because on that thread where she was starving I explained there that my house and car got buried in 2 1/2 thick of mud and it was still raining hard. The only way I could get out of the house is through the second floor window and down a ladder which slipped and injured my back all because i was going to ask my neighboor if they have other dog food because i tried giving my dog pedigree which she will barely eat and i still know shes hungry but would just refuse to eat it al;l


I'm sorry, but even if he doesn't abuse you or scare you, I am really having a hard time seeing why you would want to stay with him? It sounds like he is the type to blame everything (including stuff that really there is no one to blame) on everyone else and get abusive towards them for it too!

You really aren't doing a good job of making him not seem like some one who would end up abusing you or your kid.

I once again re-itirate, make preperations *now* to leave him at a second's notice and leave soon as you are ready (before if he gets worse quicker than you get prepared. Which is why it's important to get ready now so it hopefully doesn't get to that point).


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

I hate to say this, but I hope he doesn't control how long or much she is on the computer . But I have a funny feeling he does.


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## Gypsy2015 (Mar 5, 2020)

BananaHana said:


> I have an 8mnth old Lab/Chow mix. Im very happy with her and I try to do everything right, feed her and then walk her, play with her in the backyard and discipline her with just a firm (but not too hard) touch. but it seems like everytime I correct her she doesnt listen. I know I have to improve on that and it seems like results are showing on the walks were she doesnt pull as much and she just follow my stride.
> 
> My problem is that... at once, (let me say this happens once every 2 months). My son scared the dog while eating in her crate and kind of growled. I had to correct her but my (bully) husband got to her first and punched her face, the dog ended up "scared" peeping in her crate, I tried to clean it up and she wiggled her way out of me and the crate and my husband got mad grabbed her and punch the dogs face again, I then kept telling him to stop. he kept saying mean things about the dog. I kept on crying after that because I just feel so bad for the dog, Ive never seen such a thing before I met him, not even my mother who doesnt really like dogs never say anything. AND so I told him, "lets just give her away" and he kept letting NO and that he just cant control it when the dog growled at my son. In the bottom of my heart I really dont wanna give her away, the dog gives me so much happiness with just her cute face and plays with my son. but i feel like its best for her to go to someone who wont do any harm to her not even words. I know the dog doesnt understand anything he said, but his energys just draining, to me and the dog.
> 
> I know I have to but I havent come to terms with that yet. It just hurts me what a horrible person he is and its my fault why the dog is suffering. Ive never seen this side of him until the dog came.:redface: Im on the point of breaking down again. Because i keep blamming my self why the dog is in this situation. sometimes I ended up getting depressed. Any advice on how to deal with the husband?


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## Gypsy2015 (Mar 5, 2020)

BananaHana said:


> I have an 8mnth old Lab/Chow mix. Im very happy with her and I try to do everything right, feed her and then walk her, play with her in the backyard and discipline her with just a firm (but not too hard) touch. but it seems like everytime I correct her she doesnt listen. I know I have to improve on that and it seems like results are showing on the walks were she doesnt pull as much and she just follow my stride.
> 
> My problem is that... at once, (let me say this happens once every 2 months). My son scared the dog while eating in her crate and kind of growled. I had to correct her but my (bully) husband got to her first and punched her face, the dog ended up "scared" peeping in her crate, I tried to clean it up and she wiggled her way out of me and the crate and my husband got mad grabbed her and punch the dogs face again, I then kept telling him to stop. he kept saying mean things about the dog. I kept on crying after that because I just feel so bad for the dog, Ive never seen such a thing before I met him, not even my mother who doesnt really like dogs never say anything. AND so I told him, "lets just give her away" and he kept letting NO and that he just cant control it when the dog growled at my son. In the bottom of my heart I really dont wanna give her away, the dog gives me so much happiness with just her cute face and plays with my son. but i feel like its best for her to go to someone who wont do any harm to her not even words. I know the dog doesnt understand anything he said, but his energys just draining, to me and the dog.
> 
> I know I have to but I havent come to terms with that yet. It just hurts me what a horrible person he is and its my fault why the dog is suffering. Ive never seen this side of him until the dog came.:redface: Im on the point of breaking down again. Because i keep blamming my self why the dog is in this situation. sometimes I ended up getting depressed. Any advice on how to deal with the husband?


Get rid of the husband, if he shows angry by punching a dog in the face - it will escalate, re-home the dog. Be aware you will never be able to have pets of any kind... My father was the same way when I was growing up, he hurt our animals and we re-homed them and never got another pet, my fathers anger escalated to people in the home... Physical abuse wether animal or human is a sign of a deeper problem.....Sorry


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## LeoRose (Aug 20, 2015)

This thread is 9 years old, and the OP hasn't been on since, that I can tell.


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