# Buyers remorse??



## cupidvs (Feb 21, 2010)

Hi,
I'm new here and a new puppy owner. I just bought him home last night and now I am having buyers remorse.  I feel bad because the puppy is really good, but I'm starting to think I won't be able to take care of him. I always thought I wanted a dog, but now I'm not so sure. I also work long hours some days of the week so I am rethinking the long hours he will have to stay in his crate. I'm thinking of giving him to my parents who are retired. 
My question is: is this normal? I was excited before I got him, but now I'm not. Does this fear wear off? Any advice would help...

Thank you


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## Hallie (Nov 9, 2008)

It is normal! Well I suppose it depends, but I went through the same thing and I know quite a few people who did as well. If you think he'd get more attention and be happier at your parents' house then that's where he should be, but there's always the option of trying to make your situation work and having a happy pup in the end.


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## cupidvs (Feb 21, 2010)

Hallie said:


> It is normal! Well I suppose it depends, but I went through the same thing and I know quite a few people who did as well. If you think he'd get more attention and be happier at your parents' house then that's where he should be, but there's always the option of trying to make your situation work and having a happy pup in the end.


Thanks Hallie! I don't want to just give up so soon. I will try it out and maybe have my parents watch him when I'm at work. Not sure. Hopefully I will start feeling more confident.


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## momtoharley (Jan 2, 2010)

I have wanted to get a dog for years (has been nearly 8 years since we lost our last dog). However, I went through some serious buyers remorse/stress when we brought our new pup home. Initially, it can be exhausting with the sleep deprivation and need to be hypervigilant to make sure the pup doesn't have an accident in the house. The need for constant supervision can be overwhelming in the beginning. However, at 13 weeks of age, our pup is house trained (will even let us know when he has to go out), and is much less high maintenance. He can entertain himself much better than he could when he was younger. He is really good about chewing on his toys only (though I still wouldn't leave him unsupervised in a non-puppy proofed area). We have figured out how to block of parts of the house he should not be in, and so now he can co-exist with us without needing our full attention 100% of the time. It does get easier, but it takes a lot of work in the beginning.


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## rileysmommy (Jan 4, 2010)

I can totally relate! I had wanted a dog for at least a decade but just wasn't sure that I was up to the financial and emotional responsiblity but I finally caved four months ago and got my puppy.

The first two weeks with Riley were trying, to put it mildly. He cried during the night the first couple of nights. He had a lot of accidents in the house and was overall, a huge handfull (as all puppies tend to be, i now realize). I was definitely on the verge of giving up on him. With a demanding, full-time job, I also had the same concerns that you do about too much crate time while I was at work so I solved that by hiring my neighbor's responsible 14 year old to come during the day and walk/water him while I was gone. It is definitely a lot to juggle and a puppy brings about so many life changes. But what i can tell you is, it gets better. So much better. Give it time. Soon, you'll learn more about your puppy and what works for you guys. I would definitely wait at least a couple of weeks before giving the dog up. They are a whole lot of responsibity that's for sure but they are more than worth the trouble.

I hope this helps you.

EDOTED TO ADD: In the span of four months, Riley is 95% house trained, loves his crate and has learned a few tricks. His puppy "crazies" which used to strike at least six to seven times a day has now been reduced to about 10 mins. of rabid running in the evening. Also, whenever he sees that I just want to be a couch potato, he climbs in his dog bed or crate and naps or chews on his bully stick. We also have a fairly established schedule which we stick to. Overall, our relationship has gotten so much better.


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## PandaBear (Sep 6, 2009)

I went through the same thing. I love dogs and when I bought my first dog Charlie. At first I was happy but then I started to cry because I thought that I made a wrong decision. I had school, SAT prep,home work, job and a puppy. I was so stressed out, but after couple of weeks I went into a routine. And now I couldnt be any happier.


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## GSP Mom (Dec 26, 2009)

Just curious how much time you spent thinking about bringing a puppy home or did you get sucked in by the "isn't he/she the cutest?"

I suggest you talk to your parents before giving them a puppy to take care of.


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## pittsabowawa (Jul 26, 2009)

Its very common to go through this. I did for about a week.. but now I wouldn't give her up for the world. Give it time, start your researching on training, and just enjoy your puppy. Either you get into a routine and begin to love your dog or you will realize that this isn't for you and will ***Responsibly*** rehome the dog.

Good Luck!


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## luvmypupzeus (Feb 8, 2010)

I think your feelings are so normal and it's ok to worry about your pup, it is stressful in the beginning and the bonding time is tough, but give yourself some time to adjust, I recently brought home a schnauzer (3 wks ago) the first week was the toughest, but as the next week came the work begins to pay off, don't give up just keep telling yourself"this won't last forever" I tell myself this everyday! And everything is coming into place.Good Luck!


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## cupidvs (Feb 21, 2010)

PandaBear said:


> I went through the same thing. I love dogs and when I bought my first dog Charlie. At first I was happy but then I started to cry because I thought that I made a wrong decision. I had school, SAT prep,home work, job and a puppy. I was so stressed out, but after couple of weeks I went into a routine. And now I couldnt be any happier.


That's how I feel like I want to cry...I feel like that is kind of stupid, but that's how I feel. Hopefully it will get better.


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## cupidvs (Feb 21, 2010)

GSP Mom said:


> Just curious how much time you spent thinking about bringing a puppy home or did you get sucked in by the "isn't he/she the cutest?"
> 
> I suggest you talk to your parents before giving them a puppy to take care of.


Thinking back on it I should have just gone to where I got him and "visited" him first, before I made a commitment to get him. I felt bad because I had already decided to get him and I didn't want to back out at the last minute. 

I talked to my parents and they said they would babysit him when I have to work. I work 12 hours shifts and I would not feel right just leaving him here for that long.


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## cupidvs (Feb 21, 2010)

Thanks rileysmommy...I was beginning to think I just wasn't a "dog" person. I thought everyone who got a dog just loved them the first day and everything was great!

@Pitts- thanks for the vote of confidence!

@luvzeus- thank you for sharing.


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## GSP Mom (Dec 26, 2009)

cupidvs said:


> Thinking back on it I should have just gone to where I got him and "visited" him first, before I made a commitment to get him. I felt bad because I had already decided to get him and I didn't want to back out at the last minute.
> 
> I talked to my parents and they said they would babysit him when I have to work. I work 12 hours shifts and I would not feel right just leaving him here for that long.


That's great. I'm happy your parents will help out. 12 hours is way too long for a dog to be alone. What bread is he?


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## GottaLuvMutts (Jun 1, 2009)

Yup, I can relate, too: I felt physically ill for a few days after bringing home my first dog. Mostly I was nervous that it wouldn't work out right. I had done plenty of research first, but that can only prepare you so much. Reading about the responsibility is very different than actually taking responsibility for another life- particularly an untrained dog! The good news is, that feeling passes after a few days. 

You have an out if you need it (your parents), so just enjoy the dog for now, and make the decision later on whether to keep the dog. My out was not as nice (take the dog back to the shelter), but they did have a policy that if the dog came back within the month and was in good condition, you got a full refund no questions asked. Having an out like that helped me to be a bit calmer, even though I never really considered using it.


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## cupidvs (Feb 21, 2010)

GSP Mom said:


> That's great. I'm happy your parents will help out. 12 hours is way too long for a dog to be alone. What bread is he?


He's a toy poodle. He's so cute...I feel for bad for him for feeling this way. Guess I am a bit emotional.


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## cupidvs (Feb 21, 2010)

GottaLuvMutts said:


> Yup, I can relate, too: I felt physically ill for a few days after bringing home my first dog. Mostly I was nervous that it wouldn't work out right. I had done plenty of research first, but that can only prepare you so much. Reading about the responsibility is very different than actually taking responsibility for another life- particularly an untrained dog! The good news is, that feeling passes after a few days.
> 
> You have an out if you need it (your parents), so just enjoy the dog for now, and make the decision later on whether to keep the dog. My out was not as nice (take the dog back to the shelter), but they did have a policy that if the dog came back within the month and was in good condition, you got a full refund no questions asked. Having an out like that helped me to be a bit calmer, even though I never really considered using it.


Wow, physically ill is a good description for how I feel. I thought it was silly at first...glad you posted that. I haven't even felt like eating because I feel so bad for him. I may just take him to my mom for a few days then see how I feel.


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## smokey'smom (Dec 26, 2009)

I went through this when I got my first Italian Greyhound. I didn't know anything about them but through research I found that 65% of IGs are turned into a shelter because the owners just didn't think they could handle a puppy. I vowed that I would not let my puppy become part of those statistics. He is now over 2 years old and I now have 3 Italian Greyhounds. Give it a try - 2 months should be long enough. Then may up your mind. Don't give up too easily.


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

Oh every time I get a dog there's a brief 'Omg what did I do?' moment. We have five and each time it's the same... The first few days are the toughest because everything is SO new. Your schedule suddenly changes, you know nothing about the pup really. It takes a while to start getting a feel for each other. Trust me, it gets better.


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## rileysmommy (Jan 4, 2010)

Sorry this is a little OT but Smokey'smom, your username made me smile. My first pet was a hamster that I named Smokey (my cousin got one at the same time and named him Bandit). I miss my little guy.


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## GottaLuvMutts (Jun 1, 2009)

cupidvs said:


> Wow, physically ill is a good description for how I feel. I thought it was silly at first...glad you posted that. I haven't even felt like eating because I feel so bad for him. I may just take him to my mom for a few days then see how I feel.


For me, it was the same feeling I get right before taking a big test - so nervous that your stomach ties itself in knots. Yes, it affected my appetite, too.

Actually, if you can tough it out, I would suggest doing that rather than taking him to your parents. This is the time you're going to bond the most, and the feeling won't go away until that happens. It might also be confusing/upsetting for the pup to be switching houses and owners a lot now (it already happened once from the breeder to you). 

Laurelin, I was hoping the feeling was a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing - you feel that way with your first dog, and then for subsequent dogs, you know what to do. Guess not. Dang. Hopefully it's worse for the first one.


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## lucidity (Nov 10, 2009)

I felt the same way. I had NO sleep whatsoever, and spent my waking hours thinking "omg, what have I done?". I seriously considered rehoming Cadence (to a friend), but after thoughing it out for a couple of weeks, I was already too attached to him to give up so easily. So I braved the storm and it's mostly smooth sailing now!  Aside from the occasional times when he pees on the floor/carpet and makes me , things are great now! Just hang in there for a while. Puppies can be a real handful!


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## EarthMonkey (Nov 14, 2009)

When we ended up with our puppy four months ago both my husband and I were very worried about it. I was nervous and unsure if it was a good decision. I wondered if we could care for it or train it well. It seemed way too hyper. It kept biting. 

Now four months later neither my husband or I would consider getting rid of him. He is now snoozing on his bed. He is usually calm when we want him to be. He no longer bites. He is now house trained to the point of no accidents for weeks and being able to visit friend's houses with no accidents. 

I would recommend do the babysitting your parents are volunteering and wait a few weeks before seriously considering getting rid of him.


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

GottaLuvMutts said:


> Laurelin, I was hoping the feeling was a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing - you feel that way with your first dog, and then for subsequent dogs, you know what to do. Guess not. Dang. Hopefully it's worse for the first one.


Haha well for me it hasn't been. I grew up with dogs so I don't remember the 'first' dog unless you count Summer who was my first as an adult. I had Nikki (sheltie) as an adult but I got her as a kid and I was just sooo excited and the responsibility wasn't mine. 

The big issue with a new dog is mine almost never get along right off the bat.

Summer freaked me out. She HATED the other dogs for weeks. Wouldn't let them near her, tried to bite them, etc. I just kept wondering what did I do!? Then I got her to my apartment and she had SA and kept screaming when I was gone. Ugh it wasn't good. 

Mia was just soo much energy and no training. Oh and she SCREAMED every night all night. She had some serious guarding issues with the other dogs and was very mouthy. Honestly even now months later there are days I think she's too much dog for me. Overall it's been a great experience but it is trying at times. 

The only dog that just fit in perfectly with no transition was Rose. I had no regrets about her and still don't. She's so easy.


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## anthrogirl80 (Jan 14, 2010)

I can definitely relate. We've had our puppy for a couple of weeks and there are times where he just worries me so much and I think "I can't do this, it's too much". 
Even though we have other animals, none of them are as dependent on me as Jonah is. He is exhausting and I worry about him constnatly. 

This morning he managed to eat what I believe was cat poo infected with coccidia. So you can imagine the thoughts going through my head right now. I'm already taking money out of my budget to fund the vet visit in 13 days time when he develops symptoms. 

In two weeks, I've had him at the vet twice (taking him tomorrow). I barely slept the first week and a half. I can't leave the house for too long. I attended a conference today and spent the better half of the day worrying about him because I've never been away from him for this long etc.

But there are moment - increasing in frequency - where I just love him so much and I think that hurts almost as much as thinking I've made a mistake. Part of me doesn't want to love him so much because of the pain of losing my childhood dog...but the rest of me can't help it.

I think it grows on you. It's a big change in life, like bringing a baby home. Sort of like minor post-natal depression.


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## TStafford (Dec 23, 2009)

I did the samething. I was just dieing to have a puppy. Within a week of having him at him I hated him. It was hard because I was in college and I came home to pee all over the floor everyday. Everytime I would pick him up outside he would growl at me! He was also my "first" dog. I always had dogs growing up, but they were my parents dog so I didnt have to take care of them. But now i'm so very happy we got him and I love that dog to death!


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## LazyGRanch713 (Jul 22, 2009)

cupidvs said:


> Hi,
> I'm new here and a new puppy owner. I just bought him home last night and now I am having buyers remorse.  I feel bad because the puppy is really good, but I'm starting to think I won't be able to take care of him. I always thought I wanted a dog, but now I'm not so sure. I also work long hours some days of the week so I am rethinking the long hours he will have to stay in his crate. I'm thinking of giving him to my parents who are retired.
> My question is: is this normal? I was excited before I got him, but now I'm not. Does this fear wear off? Any advice would help...
> 
> Thank you


It does!  And I think you're right on asking your parents to watch him while you're at work for a long shift, it will be good for the puppy and (if your parents are excited about it), good for them, too!
When I got Tag I had him for about a week (he was about 10 weeks old by then) and I took on six orphaned 2 or 3 week old kittens that needed bottle fed every 2 hours. Talk about getting no sleep  My uncle had a "nanny" cat (spayed, but would let them nurse and would wash them and cuddle them, etc) so they went to live with him for a month. After the kittens left, having just a puppy seemed like a relief


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## Darkmoon (Mar 12, 2007)

GottaLuvMutts said:


> Laurelin, I was hoping the feeling was a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing - you feel that way with your first dog, and then for subsequent dogs, you know what to do. Guess not. Dang. Hopefully it's worse for the first one.


I don't know... I had the feeling when I brought home Carter but it was nothing compared to what I felt when I brought home Nubs. Then again I had a reason to fear another dog after Carter, and it didn't help that Nubs was REALLY ill when he came to me. I remember laying on the couch with Nubs for four days not moving too much because if I moved, he'd move and he'd end up puking. The only time I could even go use a bathroom was when I had someone else there to stay with him. 

But yes, feeling the way you do is normal. I've done it after every major decision in my life. Brought a new car? Cried and freaked out. Moved? Cried and freaked out. Brought home a dog... Cried and freaked out. Change is hard and it takes a bit to accept it.

Good luck with your new pup and GREAT idea having your parents watch your pup when your gone!


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## Ros (Feb 10, 2010)

It's completely normal and it gets better. We got Hunlee a little over 4 weeks ago (she was 12 weeks then). The first few nights are the hardest. I felt like I hardly ate or drank anything because my attention was always on her. Once you can get them to sleep through the night (meaning you get to sleep through the night!), the other challenges are a lot easier to deal with.


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## quills (Jan 20, 2010)

I had a small case of this when I brought Misty home. I got her after I had to put my 10 year old lab Milo to sleep. He was the best dog I ever owned and it broke my heart when I had to make that decision. I wasn't going to get another dog for a while, but after a couple of weeks it wasn't the same coming home and not having a dog there. Well I started looking at the local shelters, my only criteria was that I wanted a puppy. I ended up finding Misty at a shelter about 40 miles from here. It took a couple of weeks for us to get on a routine that worked, but she is doing great. We're almost housebroken and she is sleeping through the night in her crate. It does get easier but it takes time and patience. I hope this helps.


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## tonisaysss (Jan 18, 2010)

i SO hate to admit this, but at one point (when my golden pup was around 3 mos?) i actually debated on rehoming her. i was stressed, taking care of my pup alone (no help, which made me even angrier), running little to no sleep because she would superman dive on to my face every morning at 5 am, and it was just horrible. goldens explore the world with their mouths, so every time i would see my hands covered in scratches, my chewed blinds, the pee spots on the carpet, i would get overwhelmed. 

we've made it to nearly 7 months and i would have changed anything for the world. i've been through parvovirus with this dog. we have such a bond that it scares me sometimes. i honestly wish i could go back and enjoy her puppy stage without a grimace -- there's nothing like watching a puppy grow up and learn to trust you with everything. 

you need to work out the kinks: find out what your puppy likes and what wears him out the fastest (a tired puppy is a happy puppy, trust me). invest in a crate. give him some time to adjust (and you, too). everything else will fall into place.

good luck.


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## charl&lola (Feb 18, 2010)

It does get better! I've had Lola now for 3 weeks (14 weeks old now) and have never had a dog let alone a puppy before! My sister got a puppy a year ago and my brother got one last summer and i just thought " yeah, we would like one too!". people warned me how much work they are but having two children I thought how hard could it be. The first couple of weeks I was so stressed. She slept all night and ate well but being a control freak that I am she turned my world upside down. Kids at school and hubby at work they get all the great stuff but I spent my days mopping up and trying to housetrain! the last couple of days she has started to tell us when she needs to go out and I start puppy classes tomorrow. However hard it is though I love her dearly and could never imagine not having her. If I can do it, anyone can do it! good luck xx


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## jess4525 (Aug 27, 2009)

I went through the same exact thing when we adopted Cam. 

I was so anxious about training him and leaving him home when we were at work and him being safe and so on and so on. I made myself into a nervous wreck over nothing! (It didn't seem like nothing THEN, but it definitely does NOW!) 

But it got better, and he was such a good puppy with his housebreaking and learning the rules. We were really lucky. I look back on it now and I can't believe I acted the way that I did. I am ashamed to admit it, but I almost took him back to the rescue league where we adopted him.  I can't imagine not having him around, I am one of those people who my dog is my baby! It will get better and you'll be glad you stuck through it. I know I am!

Good luck to you!!


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## melgrj7 (Sep 21, 2007)

I've gone through the same thing with each animal, lol. Especially the dogs, its such a change to your lifestyle. It usually takes me a couple of weeks to get into a routine and for it to become "the norm".


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