# Potential adopter for my foster dog; I need advice



## Sherlock (Feb 3, 2012)

Hello there!

I am fostering a pit bull puppy for a rescue. He is 5 months old, happy, healthy, and not house broken. I am crate training him and keeping him on a schedule, but he sometimes pees in his crate anyways. 

Recently, A young 22 yo woman with two young kids (one 6 months, one 2 years old) expressed interest in adopting my foster. She is a stay at home mom and her husband is on deployment for the army. 

I'm very concerned that if I let her adopt this dog, her kids and the dog will be too much to handle. house broken. He is a typical terrier in that he has a lot of energy and his own agenda. He likes to please, but it's far from his top priority. Along with not being house broken, I'm concerned that this is a bad combo for a young parent, raising these kids alone. 

I'm quite protective of my foster and i don;t want him getting returned because this potential adopter realizes he is too much to handle along with her kids. I don't want to deny him a home either. What do you all think? Need any more info on the situation? Any thoughts, experience, or advice is greatly appreciated!


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

I think you need to talk to her about your concerns. She might be clueless about what it takes to raise an active terrier and 2 young kids together, or she might be the most capable and knowledgeable dog owner ever. But you's need to talk to HER to find that out.


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## PatchworkRobot (Aug 24, 2010)

Do you get a chance to interview her? If so, find out about her and her intentions for the dog. She may be super well prepared, you never know. Also, be sure to be super honest about the dog and what it takes to handle a dog like that.


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## Sherlock (Feb 3, 2012)

I did mention my concerns. She seems to think she can handle it. She really hasn't raised a puppy before so I'm under the impression she has a great attitude but may be in over her head.


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## Sherlock (Feb 3, 2012)

I guess one thing i'm asking is has anyone had a positive experiences with foster adopters who are single parents, have infants and are new dog parents at the same time?


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## Shell (Oct 19, 2009)

I don't see that as being a great situation for either the dog or the family. If the kids were a bit older, then I'd say that even a single parent could have enough time for the pup, but with two very little ones I would say that a 5 month old high energy breed is very likely too much.

Does the rescue have an older (1-2 yrs + and housetrained) dog that they could suggest? 
I had someone very interested in my foster but she has a cat and Luna is not suited to a home with cats. It wouldn't be fair to either Luna or the adopter to set her up for failure (or possibly hurting the cat). But the rescue is chatting with the potential adopter about their other dogs that are good with cats.


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

Yeah, if she's a first-time dog owner I don't think now is the time to get a high-energy puppy to learn with. I wouldn't turn her down ("no dog for you!"), but tell her that you don't think HE would be the best fit for her family. And help her find a more suitable dog. I'm not sure why anyone would get a puppy when they have a baby and a toddler, but an experienced dog owner would at least know what they were getting themselves into. Someone who's never had a dog before can't really understand how challenging puppies are.


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## DJEtzel (Dec 28, 2009)

What kind of a dwelling do they live in? Do they have a fenced yard? 

Through my experiences in rescue, I've found that single owners (even married couples sometimes) with young babies/kids adopting a dog are more likely to bring the dog back or quit fostering (need the dog moved) if they don't have a fenced in yard. I know it seems like a "minor" thing that shouldn't matter much to dedicated dog owners, but it can make the difference between them having the patience or getting stressed out. I got my current foster because the previous foster home had a new baby, two dogs of her own (and a husband) but taking all of them out to potty on a leash without a yard proved stressful on top of the baby and trying to housetrain a new dog, too.


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

Also, point out to her that if her husband is in the Army, he may at some point. get stationed somewhere that bans pit bulls. It can be a real problem for military families.


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## kathylcsw (Jul 4, 2011)

I am a single parent and luckily when my son was born 11 years ago the dog I had then was already 4 years old. I am pretty sure that a puppy and a baby would have totally overwhelmed me! As we know puppies have to go out many, many times per day and I wonder what she would do with an infant and a toddler each time she took the puppy out? It seems like an older housetrained dog would be much better suited to this family.


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## Shell (Oct 19, 2009)

Willowy said:


> Also, point out to her that if her husband is in the Army, he may at some point. get stationed somewhere that bans pit bulls. It can be a real problem for military families.


YES, I meant to mention that. I'm near a large base and see way too many dogs on craigslist as "Free, must leave today" in connection to either deployments (single soldiers) or a new station that has breed bans. 

I'm not saying never adopt to a military family, but given the other potential problems in this case plus the breed of the dog, maybe steering them towards a mature, non-controversial dog would be better for all involved.


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## Bordermom (Apr 28, 2010)

Shell said:


> YES, I meant to mention that. I'm near a large base and see way too many dogs on craigslist as "Free, must leave today" in connection to either deployments (single soldiers) or a new station that has breed bans.
> 
> I'm not saying never adopt to a military family, but given the other potential problems in this case plus the breed of the dog, maybe steering them towards a mature, non-controversial dog would be better for all involved.


I agree. There's a better chance of sucess if they adopt a 2 year old dog that's already trained and good with kids etc. than a puppy that's going to add to the stress and possibly be banned if they move. Blame it on the army's policy.


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## Big Black Dog Mom (Oct 31, 2011)

Willowy said:


> Also, point out to her that if her husband is in the Army, he may at some point. get stationed somewhere that bans pit bulls. It can be a real problem for military families.


Yes, or they may get stationed someplace they can't have dogs at all. I just got done fostering a cat that was in this situation. The family had 3 pets, 2 dogs and a cat, and they all went to the rescue group I volunteer for when the family got relocated to Hawaii.


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

Big Black Dog Mom said:


> Yes, or they may get stationed someplace they can't have dogs at all. I just got done fostering a cat that was in this situation. The family had 3 pets, 2 dogs and a cat, and they all went to the rescue group I volunteer for when the family got relocated to Hawaii.


 There are ways. If they had planned ahead they could have brought their pets. It may have been expensive, and a lot of bases have a 2-pet limit so maybe not all of them, but it's not really a great excuse. There isn't anywhere that families get stationed that doesn't allow pets at all.


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## Big Black Dog Mom (Oct 31, 2011)

Ok, I wondered. But what about if they get stationed abroad?


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

Big Black Dog Mom said:


> Ok, I wondered. But what about if they get stationed abroad?


It's do-able. I don't know the details, but the info is available from the military relocation people. I was a Navy brat and grew up in Japan (a rabies-free country) and lots of people on the base had brought their pets from the States. It's easier now because of some new protocol involving microchips.


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## Big Black Dog Mom (Oct 31, 2011)

Now I know. Thanks


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## Shell (Oct 19, 2009)

Big Black Dog Mom said:


> Ok, I wondered. But what about if they get stationed abroad?


Various countries have different rules on quarantines and vaccines etc and it isn't cheap to ship a dog overseas, but I'd bet that the majority of posts which allow dependents would also allow pets (maybe with breed, number and size restrictions). 

The problem I see around here is the single soldiers who get deployed to either war zones or the unaccompanied posts (which are usually unaccompanied because they are hot zones or areas with really limited resources for housing etc) and those soldiers are stuck finding a new home for the dog. There are some groups that foster for military members to help them keep their pets once they return home and of course some people are lucky enough to have friends or family that can take on an extra pet for 12-18 months. 

really though, everyone should have a back-up plan for their pets, its just more common for military members to need the back-up plan.


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## Kayota (Aug 14, 2009)

Big Black Dog Mom said:


> Ok, I wondered. But what about if they get stationed abroad?


My stepbro came back from Sicily with two dogs that he and his now-ex-wife adopted there. He's in the Marines. His ex has both those dogs now and he has a chocolate lab.


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