# My neighbor is spending too much time with my dog



## rubin25 (Jul 8, 2011)

Hi everyone,
I would like some feedback about my little problem. 
When I go to work, one of my dog goes next door and spends the entire day there. I have 2 dogs. When I get home from work I go over and get my dog. The neighbor gives my dog attention that I cannot give him when I am at work. It is starting to annoy me. I want to tell my neighbor to back off and get his own dog, but I do not want to upset them, because we have been on good terms for years. I never gave him permission to bond with my dog, but it has happened anyway. I think it is very disrespectful of him to have allowed this to happen. I think it is rude and it is starting to make me angry. I would never do this with somebody Else's dog. I thought about leaving him in my fenced yard, but I know he would just let him out anyway. I also know it would upset my neighbor if I left my dog fenced in. I live out of city limits and it is very common for people to let dogs stay outside all day.
So what do you think I should do? I am trying to be grateful that my dog has a companion while I am at work, but I think it wrong for someone to do what he has done. I now wished I would have left my dog fenced in and this would not have happened.


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## Puddin's Training Tips (Apr 9, 2011)

Put your dog in the house when you go to work. Visit your dog at lunch time and let him out to potty then put him back in the house until you get home.

Then consider what is best for your dog and not you.

Is your dog in danger of being taken by the neighbor? Does the neighbor abuse your dog? Give him junk food? 
If the only reason is jealousy, then why not let your dog have a friend.
And then make up for lost time when you get home. Take your dog on long walks. Join some dog friendly activities, etc..

If there is some other reason (if it is best for your dog NOT to be with the neighbor), then your dog's well being comes before your neighbor's feelings. and don't let the neighbor visit the dog anymore.

Additionally,
If you leave your dog to roam free when you are at work, this is extremely dangerous. I'd count myself lucky that the only thing that has happened to him is that he found a friend.

He could have been stolen, run over, attacked by predators, pick on by bad people, etc..


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## Shell (Oct 19, 2009)

If you LET your dog go to the neighbor's house every day, then you sure as heck DID give your neighbor permission to make friends with your dog. 

Either let your neighbor continue to take care of your dog during the day (something that many people PAY other people for), put the dog inside, or provide a safe and secure outdoor kennel (escape proof, shaded, plenty of water, shelter from wind and rain).


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## lisak_87 (Mar 23, 2011)

What I wouldn't give for a neighbor to take care of my dog all day


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## luna piena (Aug 18, 2010)

From the tone of your post it seems like you're jealous and don't want your dog spending time with other people, rather than concerned for your dog's safety. As mentioned above, if your neighbour is not doing anything to harm your dog then I don't really see what the problem is? You can always talk to your neighbour, especially since you say you're on good terms with them, and maybe set up and more structured arrangement with them where they can watch your dog while you're at work. That way you can be sure that they aren't feeding the dog things you wouldn't want him eating, and just generally give you more control over the time your dog spends there. I certainly think that would be better than leaving the dog unsupervised outside where an assortment of bad things can happen. 

Ultimately, I think this: 



Puddin's Training Tips said:


> consider what is best for your dog and not you.


sums it up perfectly.


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## Fuzzy Pants (Jul 31, 2010)

Personally, I think you should send your neighbor a gift basket and thank you note for dogsitting for free! You're being very reckless with your dog's safety by letting it roam around. It could be hit by a car, stolen, poisoned, etc. Thankfully, you have a nice neighbor that is willing to watch after your dog and keep it safe since you seem unwilling to.


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## katG (Jun 27, 2011)

This is kind of silly to be jealous over... like others have said.. most people would love to have a person to pay attention to their dog all day at work! Some dogs like to be in the presence of people all the time! I bring my dog over to my parent's house everyday while I have to work or do errands, and believe me he still knows I am the one who feeds him, walks him, and am his owner and best friend! I would feel bad leaving him alone all day! If it really bothers you and you really want to deny the dog of what he obviously enjoys, then put him in the fenced in yard. Leaving a dog loose to wander from property to property is dangerous anyways!


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## Kyllobernese (Feb 5, 2008)

It sounds like you think the neighbor deliberately set out to get the dog to bond with her. Of course, the dog is going to get attached to her as it is with her all day. She certainly is not going to go around all day not interacting with the dog in case it ends up "liking" her more than you. It sounds like you are a little jealous and maybe you should start paying for a daycare for your dog at a daycare center if you don't appreciate what your neighbor is doing for nothing.


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## Labmom4 (Feb 1, 2011)

I agree with all of the above. Be happy for your dog. He has a safe place to go rather than being alone all day and this makes him a happier dog. Your neighbor is doing you a huge service and you should be grateful.


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## Active Dog (Jan 18, 2010)

Heck we live with other people and their dogs and they won't even watch ours. Well maybe they would but I don't trust them to keep a good eye on them. lol


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## TStafford (Dec 23, 2009)

Get a better fence or keep your dog in the house. Its not safe to just let your dogs roam anyway. 

Be thankfully i'm not your neighbor. I had someone that lived next to me who let their dog run free and he was always at risk of being attacked by another free roaming aggressive dog or getting hit by a car. He also came into my yard ALL the time and would follow me when I was walking Porter, which was a pain! The dog came into my yard one day when they were gone, now they don't have that dog anymore (hopefully someone else does, but he's better off either way).


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## cshellenberger (Dec 2, 2006)

How does your dog get next door? Why is he not contained to YOUR yard and house (that's why there are LOCKS for gates and houses)? Sounds like YOU have allowed the situation and are now angry about it.

As another poster said you're fortunate to have a neighbor that:
A) dog sits for free and 
B) hasn't called AC to have the dog picked up as a stray and rehomed to a more responsible owner.

IOW, you'll find no sympathy here, we're responsible dog owners that don't allow our dogs to roam the neighborhood.


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## luvntzus (Mar 16, 2007)

How could your dog NOT bond with someone that he spends every day with?


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## winniec777 (Apr 20, 2008)

lisak_87 said:


> What I wouldn't give for a neighbor to take care of my dog all day





Shell said:


> If you LET your dog go to the neighbor's house every day, then you sure as heck DID give your neighbor permission to make friends with your dog.
> 
> Either let your neighbor continue to take care of your dog during the day (something that many people PAY other people for), put the dog inside, or provide a safe and secure outdoor kennel (escape proof, shaded, plenty of water, shelter from wind and rain).


^^^^^^^This. I would be over the moon if my neighbor would take care of my dog and she had a nice safe place to be all day with people and other dogs around. Oh wait! I do have such a place and it's called doggie daycare and I pay $20/day for it. 

Count your lucky stars your dog is visiting with the neighbor and has someone to look after him. Sorry, but if the neighbor is treating the dog well, I don't think you have anything to complain about. I understand how some people want to be the most important person in a dog's life--when you get a dog you make an emotional commitment and want the same in return. But as long as the neighbor is treating the dog well, I think you're getting a pretty good deal here and to object only makes you seem a little insecure and ungrateful. 

Confident, happy dogs can bond with more than one person. I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, I would feel good if my dog made my neighbor happy. She brings me such joy, I would be happy to spread it around.


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## Puddin's Training Tips (Apr 9, 2011)

winniec777 said:


> I would be happy to spread it around.


Aaawwe! That is sooo sweet! This why I need to get going on making Puddin a therapy dog. She makes people smile.


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## rubin25 (Jul 8, 2011)

I agree with what you all are saying, but I have another dog that is alone all day by himself. I feel terrible about that. I would rather have both dogs together to keep each other company, than have one at the neighbors while the other is home by himself. So today I put both dogs together in the fenced backyard. But the neighbor came over and let one of my dogs out, leaving the other by himself. I found that a little annoying. So I went over and explained to him I want both my dogs in the backyard to keep each other company. He did not like that idea. I need to come up with a solution that satisfies all parties concerned. I would like if my neighbor would let the dog out, play with him for a while, and then place him back in the backyard. He feels my other dog is fine all day by himself. He has made it clear he does not like my other dog. I don't trust him put him back in my backyard. I do not like the idea of one of my dogs being able to roam free due to obvious reasons.


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## LuckySarah (May 3, 2010)

Does the dog bark all day, do the dogs fight maybe?

IDK seems odd that he would consistently take one of your dogs.... I am not sure if I understand the original post but did you give him permission (at any time) to take care of this dog during the day?


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## Puddin's Training Tips (Apr 9, 2011)

Well if your neighbor is weird, then it's best to keep your dog locked in your house. Visit them at lunch time. If you want the neighbor to see the dog, then bring him over for supervised visitation when you are off work.

Eventually, your neighbor is going to make a mistake and set your other dog free while he is going into your yard and taking one dog only.

Dogs are a lot safer in the house. I don't know where you live, but where i am, it's too hot to leave dogs out all day.

But if you must leave the dogs outside, then make sure your fence it at least 6 feet high and padlocked..

Good luck


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## lisaj1354 (Feb 23, 2008)

Frankly, none of this makes sense. Either keep your dogs in the house or lock your fence.


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## TStafford (Dec 23, 2009)

rubin25 said:


> I agree with what you all are saying, but I have another dog that is alone all day by himself. I feel terrible about that. I would rather have both dogs together to keep each other company, than have one at the neighbors while the other is home by himself. So today I put both dogs together in the fenced backyard. But the neighbor came over and let one of my dogs out, leaving the other by himself. I found that a little annoying. So I went over and explained to him I want both my dogs in the backyard to keep each other company. He did not like that idea. I need to come up with a solution that satisfies all parties concerned. I would like if my neighbor would let the dog out, play with him for a while, and then place him back in the backyard. He feels my other dog is fine all day by himself. He has made it clear he does not like my other dog. I don't trust him put him back in my backyard. I do not like the idea of one of my dogs being able to roam free due to obvious reasons.


Put a lock on the gate so he can't get your dog out.


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## DJEtzel (Dec 28, 2009)

rubin25 said:


> I agree with what you all are saying, but I have another dog that is alone all day by himself. I feel terrible about that. I would rather have both dogs together to keep each other company, than have one at the neighbors while the other is home by himself. So today I put both dogs together in the fenced backyard. But the neighbor came over and let one of my dogs out, leaving the other by himself. I found that a little annoying. So I went over and explained to him I want both my dogs in the backyard to keep each other company. He did not like that idea. I need to come up with a solution that satisfies all parties concerned. I would like if my neighbor would let the dog out, play with him for a while, and then place him back in the backyard. He feels my other dog is fine all day by himself. He has made it clear he does not like my other dog. I don't trust him put him back in my backyard. I do not like the idea of one of my dogs being able to roam free due to obvious reasons.


Your neighbor doesn't have a say in it, and he's tresspassing. Tell him you are containing your dogs for their safety, and he isn't allowed to just open your gate and take them out. Put a padlock on the gate so that he CAN'T open it, and call the police if he tries anyway, or comes near your dogs. It just isn't safe, and they aren't his.


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## luvntzus (Mar 16, 2007)

You don't need to come up with anything to satisfy your neighbor. They're your dogs, not his and he shouldn't have any concern in what you do with your dogs. HE thinks the one dog is okay by himself all day? Perhaps because he doesn't like that dog. I would keep both dogs in your locked house. I wouldn't trust him to jump over the fence to get the dog. He should probably get his own dog.


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## rubin25 (Jul 8, 2011)

rubin25 said:


> Hi everyone,
> I would like some feedback about my little problem.
> When I go to work, one of my dog goes next door and spends the entire day there. I have 2 dogs. When I get home from work I go over and get my dog. The neighbor gives my dog attention that I cannot give him when I am at work. It is starting to annoy me. I want to tell my neighbor to back off and get his own dog, but I do not want to upset them, because we have been on good terms for years. I never gave him permission to bond with my dog, but it has happened anyway. I think it is very disrespectful of him to have allowed this to happen. I think it is rude and it is starting to make me angry. I would never do this with somebody Else's dog. I thought about leaving him in my fenced yard, but I know he would just let him out anyway. I also know it would upset my neighbor if I left my dog fenced in. I live out of city limits and it is very common for people to let dogs stay outside all day.
> So what do you think I should do? I am trying to be grateful that my dog has a companion while I am at work, but I think it wrong for someone to do what he has done. I now wished I would have left my dog fenced in and this would not have happened.


Some of you say I sound a little insecure or jealous. I am not jealous of the bond between my dog and neighbor. Actually, I think that is kinda funny. I allowed my dog to roam freely and now he has bonded with the neighbor. Letting him roam freely is not a wise thing to do,obviously. This is what is bothering me: I can't keep the dog safe in the backyard because of their bond, because the dog barks like crazy when he see's the neighbor. I have other neighbors to consider. They also feed him food scraps, which also bothers me. In the past we kept both dogs in the backyard without a problem. If they were to keep him contained and not feed him junk, then I would be very happy to have him over there, but I know they would not. I have two dogs, I just want to keep them safe when I am away, is this too much to ask? Lol, I should hope not.


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## Puddin's Training Tips (Apr 9, 2011)

Okay. I'm just going to say it. It's going to be offensive so feel free to stop reading right now.

Reflect and contemplate on how this started. Could your neighbor be feeling sorry for your dog? What do you do with your dogs when you get home from work? Do you walk your dogs, do they go for car rides to the park. Do you participate in bonding activities with your dog like training classes, meetup groups, dog friendly activities?

Or are your dogs outside alone all the time, barking for attention?

Do both dogs have access to clean, fresh cool water the whole time you are gone? Do the dog eat regularly and do they get quality food? Do the dogs get regular vet visits? Do the dogs appear healthy - no skin infections, etc.. Are the dogs flea, tick, and other parasite free? Are the dog over or underweight?

The dog whom the neighbor doesn't take, is that dog harassing the other dog? Is that dog acutally hurting the other dog? 


If none of the above apply to you then I apologize profusely. Additionally if none of the above applies, the next thing to contemplate and reflect on is why you are letting your neighbor run all over you.

You ask your neighbor to stop taking your dog and instead of calling the police the next time he/she trespasses, you go on the internet.

Sorry. Maybe there is a 3rd scenario that I'm not seeing. If so, I apologize again.


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## katG (Jun 27, 2011)

Lol this is just so weird. Okay so you put your dogs in the fenced in yard and your neighbor wanders over and lets the one out??? You tell him not to, and he says he wants to anyways, and you're trying to figure out a way to make him happy?? Maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation but this just sounds odd to me. I just can't imagine a neighbor coming over while you're gone and taking one of your dogs out against your wishes... ????


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## Puddin's Training Tips (Apr 9, 2011)

Regarding jealousy. I believe your orginal post made people feel that way. All you told us was that your neighbor was spending too much time with your dog.

You didn't tell us that you had another dog, that your neighbor was breaking into your yard without your permission, etc..


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## MissMutt (Aug 8, 2008)

There is a really simple solution that has been mentioned several times in this thread to no avail.

Put your dogs in the HOUSE. Dogs should NOT be left outside alone while no one is home, fenced backyard or not, city or rural.


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## TStafford (Dec 23, 2009)

rubin25 said:


> Some of you say I sound a little insecure or jealous. I am not jealous of the bond between my dog and neighbor. Actually, I think that is kinda funny. I allowed my dog to roam freely and now he has bonded with the neighbor. Letting him roam freely is not a wise thing to do,obviously. This is what is bothering me: I can't keep the dog safe in the backyard because of their bond, because the dog barks like crazy when he see's the neighbor. I have other neighbors to consider. They also feed him food scraps, which also bothers me. In the past we kept both dogs in the backyard without a problem. If they were to keep him contained and not feed him junk, then I would be very happy to have him over there, but I know they would not. I have two dogs, I just want to keep them safe when I am away, is this too much to ask? Lol, I should hope not.


You first post did kinda make it sound like you were just letting your dogs run free and were jealous for the oter person spending time with your dog. But know that you say he is taking your dog out of your yard and feeding the dog stuff you don't want them to eat itss a little different. 

Can you keep your dogs in your house when you are gone? Maybe lock them in one dog safe room. 

Do you have money to put up a tall wood fence (i know those cots a lot of money)?

Aside from those two I dont know what to tell you.


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## The_Monstors (Oct 1, 2010)

Your original post sounded like a jealousy thing and then your second post is completely different of a tone and had new information that added to the story....so is there something else you're not quite saying? 

Going by your second post, you need to talk to this neighbor seriously about the facts that they are violating your wishes. If they are making decisions against your wishes then it has become an issue. It will hurt that neighbors feelings, it will probably make them mad, but they are stepping out of bounds if you didn't want the dog taken out of the yard with one dog left behind or fed table food. 

I can kinda feel for your situation, but you have to have some backbone. I took in someone who was hard on times and they started to let my dogs out. At first, I thought well that's nice, since I'm at home and they were mostly at my house while looking for work. When I found that my one dog that has needed extensive training was going backwards because this person was not following the house rules. She wasn't disciplining right and I found that she wasn't watching him carefully and he was eating non food particles and cat poop and marking the house. I laid down the law and made her keep them in their kennels. She wasn't happy with it and was bitchy with me, but her relationship was not in his best interest and there he stayed til she got the hell out! 

You have a house- make a safe area inside. Almost every person here has said that and you haven't really responded to it. If they're in the house- neighbor can't get them.


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## Pawzk9 (Jan 3, 2011)

rubin25 said:


> Hi everyone,
> I would like some feedback about my little problem.
> When I go to work, one of my dog goes next door and spends the entire day there. I have 2 dogs. When I get home from work I go over and get my dog. The neighbor gives my dog attention that I cannot give him when I am at work. It is starting to annoy me. I want to tell my neighbor to back off and get his own dog, but I do not want to upset them, because we have been on good terms for years. I never gave him permission to bond with my dog, but it has happened anyway. I think it is very disrespectful of him to have allowed this to happen. I think it is rude and it is starting to make me angry. I would never do this with somebody Else's dog. I thought about leaving him in my fenced yard, but I know he would just let him out anyway. I also know it would upset my neighbor if I left my dog fenced in. I live out of city limits and it is very common for people to let dogs stay outside all day.
> So what do you think I should do? I am trying to be grateful that my dog has a companion while I am at work, but I think it wrong for someone to do what he has done. I now wished I would have left my dog fenced in and this would not have happened.


Why are you giving your dog the option of roaming the neighborhood when you are not home? Perhaps your neighbor simply is a good hearted person who doesn't want to see your dog hit by a car or picked up by animal control (or other unpleasant things that happen to unattended strays such as being poisoned or shot for bothering livestock.)



rubin25 said:


> I agree with what you all are saying, but I have another dog that is alone all day by himself. I feel terrible about that. I would rather have both dogs together to keep each other company, than have one at the neighbors while the other is home by himself. So today I put both dogs together in the fenced backyard. But the neighbor came over and let one of my dogs out, leaving the other by himself. I found that a little annoying. So I went over and explained to him I want both my dogs in the backyard to keep each other company. He did not like that idea. I need to come up with a solution that satisfies all parties concerned. I would like if my neighbor would let the dog out, play with him for a while, and then place him back in the backyard. He feels my other dog is fine all day by himself. He has made it clear he does not like my other dog. I don't trust him put him back in my backyard. I do not like the idea of one of my dogs being able to roam free due to obvious reasons.


Two words: locked kennel. (or in the house)


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## rubin25 (Jul 8, 2011)

The_Monstors said:


> Your original post sounded like a jealousy thing and then your second post is completely different of a tone and had new information that added to the story....so is there something else you're not quite saying?
> 
> Going by your second post, you need to talk to this neighbor seriously about the facts that they are violating your wishes. If they are making decisions against your wishes then it has become an issue. It will hurt that neighbors feelings, it will probably make them mad, but they are stepping out of bounds if you didn't want the dog taken out of the yard with one dog left behind or fed table food.
> 
> ...


Hi, I have not responded to posts because I have been busy.
I went over and discussed my issues with my neighbor. I was nice at first, but that changed right after he tried telling me how I should handle my dogs. My tone changed to a little agressive. I told him flat out to leave my dogs alone and I will take care of them how I see fit. He does not think I should have my dog in the house, or in the backyard. The reason for this is because he wants to have my dog over at his house so he can enjoy his company. Part of me can understand this. When my dog is at his house, he usually stays in the yard, but sometimes he wonders on the road close to home. I am not comfortable taking the risk of something bad happening to the dog. I am generally a kind hearted man, but my dogs safety comes before my neighbors feelings. I know he is not happy with the situation, but I need to do what is best for the dog. If my neighbor made sure he was in an enclosed enviroment and did not feed him junk, then I would be happy to have him over there during the day. 
Today I left both dogs in the house.


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## katG (Jun 27, 2011)

rubin25 said:


> Hi, I have not responded to posts because I have been busy.
> I went over and discussed my issues with my neighbor. I was nice at first, but that changed right after he tried telling me how I should handle my dogs. My tone changed to a little agressive. I told him flat out to leave my dogs alone and I will take care of them how I see fit. He does not think I should have my dog in the house, or in the backyard. The reason for this is because he wants to have my dog over at his house so he can enjoy his company. Part of me can understand this. When my dog is at his house, he usually stays in the yard, but sometimes he wonders on the road close to home. I am not comfortable taking the risk of something bad happening to the dog. I am generally a kind hearted man, but my dogs safety comes before my neighbors feelings. I know he is not happy with the situation, but I need to do what is best for the dog. If my neighbor made sure he was in an enclosed enviroment and did not feed him junk, then I would be happy to have him over there during the day.
> Today I left both dogs in the house.


I don't understand why he doesn't get his own dog???


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## luvntzus (Mar 16, 2007)

That's good that you left them in the house today. Very simple solution.


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## Elana55 (Jan 7, 2008)

The only reason I could see to not leave the dogs in the house (crated if they raise cain) would be the length of your day at work. 

Of course, reading all this I also have a feeling there is more to this than is being told (it may just take too long to type it all out). All in all, if someone came here and took my dog out every day and then let the dog wander about to the dog's detriment, that would not be happenin'

Like you said.. if he had the dog enclosed and safe it would be one thing.. but then it would still not be fair to the other dog. 

I dunno.. seems like an altogether odd situation. I put a fence around my whole place this year.. you have to open a gate to come to the front door! The dogs are in kennel runs inside the fenced area... and they are not visible from the road.


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## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

this just seems like a non issue: keep the dogs in the house. Both of them.


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## Vpenny (Apr 9, 2013)

I know this post is old but I very much sympathize with you OP. I registered just to reply to this Bc the people in this thread don't understand what it's like to have someone else infatuated with your dog to the point where it's annoying. If a person wants to be infatuated with a dog why don't they get their own damn dog. I too have a neighbor who enjoys watching my dog but I literally had to cut her off Bc she began getting too intrusive in terms of the decisions that I made for MY dog. The reality is if the dog belongs to you, you as the owner have a right to decide how you'd like it to be cared for ( being that you are a responsible and loving pet owner). I'm just now allowing my neighbor to spend a little time with my dog again, as she has done many favors for me and its the least I can do, but seriously she starts to get soo weird calling my dog "her baby" etc. I firmly believe she is just weird and there are weird people out there who enjoy bonding with other people's dogs but not having to do the dirty work. Just like baby sitters like to baby sit kids but not have to handle all the responsibilities that come with having children. So OP you have a sympathetic ear in me and frankly I am happy to know I'm not the only person out there with this problem.


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

go apologize to your neighbor for not keeping your dog contained and thank him for taking care of him for you. Then reiterate that you had a revelation that you were being irresponsible not securing your gate for your dog's safety, and that you keeping them inside to keep the dogs safe. Tell him that if he wants dog time with your dog, that you can set up scheduled "play dates" with him, or that you would love to help him go to a shelter and pick out a dog for his own. Tell him that with his love of dogs, he'd make a great dog owner, and he'd save a life.

***Just read a previous post that says other neighbors feed scraps and dogs bark. Keep your dogs in your house.


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