# First time rescue owners, 3 weeks in



## adamleavesley (2 mo ago)

Hi there!
We're into the third week of adoption of a 4 year old girl from Bosnia. 
I'd love to know people's thoughts on our experience so far as this is very new to us.
Her history has been spending the last 2 years at a rescue centre, prior to this she was found in quite a poor state tied to a tree.
She is an extremely kind but anxious dog. At home she tends to keep to herself in an area near to her crate, she has recently started to venture into the rest of the downstairs but will always go back to her area. She has slept in a crate superbly and has been excellent with her toilet routine. She is happy for people to approach her, she does look slightly more scared when this is myself rather than my wife or son, I imagine this maybe related to potential bad experience with men in the past. 
On walks she does get scared by traffic, I've been trying to keep to quiet areas of our neighbourhood however passing next to traffic is fairly inevitable. 
She doesn't seem interested in playing with any toys, she seems happy enough sleeping and resting during the day in her area. I guess if she was bored she may have more destructive tendencies? She may well be happy just simply being in a safe environment and doesn't care much for play or interaction? 
Her eating has been very good too, not food oriented at all. 

I'd love to know thoughts on our experience so far and maybe how this compares with other peoples experience?

Many thanks
Adam
United Kingdom


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## Toedtoes (Sep 25, 2021)

Congratulations!

Being more nervous around you doesn't mean she was abused by men. It's simply that men have a bigger louder presence than women and children. Try getting down to her level more. Don't lean over her. And raise the pitch of your voice while lowering the volume and try speaking with a questioning inflection rather than a command inflection (ie, raising your voice slightly at the end of a sentence - "how about we _go to the park?" _Rather than "how about we go to park".). Deep voices, big statures, etc, are just naturally scarier than soft higher pitched voices and smaller statures.

It can take months to years for an abused or street dog to feel confident. Just give her lots of time and keep letting her choose to expand her surroundings on her terms. Give her reasons to come see you and move away from her safety zone, but don't force her to do so or overwhelm her when she does. Keep things calm and relaxed.

It sounds like you are doing great with the walks. Keep the heavy traffic minimal as she gains confidence at being out there. Let her gain trust in you to keep her safe. As she does, she will be better able to handle scary things.

Dogs, adopted adult dogs most of all, tend to have a period of time in a new home where they suppress their personality. They may not play, they are very well behaved, they don't push boundaries, etc. Basically they don't do anything that may attract attention in fear of attracting negative attention. As time goes on and they learn that you are safe (won't punish, hurt, yell at, etc), they start to show their personalities more. So while she isn't showing much interest in toys and food, etc, now, that could change next week, next month, etc as she gains confidence in your reactions to her. So just keep to positive training methods, understanding and unconditional love and she will start showing little quirks of her personality. When she does, celebrate them. 

One thing I've learned over the years is that dogs like this will show their gratitude to your rescuing them. A young puppy grows up believing that good things are his right - he never questions it. With older adopted dogs, they have seen the bad - so when they finally get that good home, they are enternally grateful to you for giving it to them. They appreciate the good person you are because they have experienced the opposite. It is very rewarding when that happens - when they realize that you are trustworthy and they have found peace and joy. Keep with the positive and you will experience this.


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## Lillith (Feb 16, 2016)

Yes, sometimes dogs that have spent much of their life outdoors or with limited interaction in a typical home environment are timid and don't come out of their shell for some time. It could possibly take months for you to see her true personality. When their true personalities come out you may see some undesirable behavior like destroying things simply because she doesn't know any better, so don't be surprised or discouraged. It just means she's getting comfortable. You can manage those behaviors and redirect her to more appropriate outlets. 

Some dogs don't understand what toys are and that they are for playing. You might try some easy food toys, such as a Kong or something that you can stuff with a bit of food, to help her understand and learn what is for chewing.


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## Uncle Foster (Mar 27, 2012)

Welcome!
It is a good thing you are doing.
My wife and I have fostered many. My best, first bit of advice? Patience.

Uncle Foster


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## adamleavesley (2 mo ago)

Thank you all so much for your replies.
I do need to keep reminding myself that time and patience are key, it's still very early days for her.
Having not had a rescue before it shocks me how people can be so cruel to dogs and how difficult it is for her to accept that we have such good intentions for her and would never do anything to hurt her.
The small progressions she's made at home have been lovely to see and I look forward to her becoming more comfortable in time.
Thank you again!.


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