# My dog sleeps with my friend and not with me!!



## adura (May 19, 2013)

I don't know why but my dog will not sleep with me throughout the night. When my friend stays over he will sleep with her all night, regardless of what happens. Does he hate me?


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## voodookitten (Nov 25, 2012)

I wouldn't worry - I adore my dogs to bits but they prefer to sleep closer to my husband. No idea why. Its just the way it is.

Maybe you toss and turn. Maybe you fart too much in bed  Or snore. 

Some nights my girls crash in loungeroom - meh. My daytime relationship is strong as ever with them and I know they love me dearly so where they sleep I leave up to them. Long as they dont destroy anything, its all good.

I wish the people I know (mainly family) would accept my dogs if they want to sleep with them when they stay over as they HATE the idea that we even let our dogs inside, let alone sleep in our room or on our bed. 

I have NO idea why your dog prefers your friend. But I wouldn't even think twice about it. Instead, give your friend a big hug for being dog friendly and enjoy the space while they are here at nighttime lol 

But if it DOES bother you - maybe gate off your bedroom when your friend stays so they stay in your room or consider crate training.


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## adura (May 19, 2013)

first, thanks for your response! he actually is crate trained and I've only recently been letting him out to sleep wherever he wants during the night. To me, it would feel kind of petty to crate him just because I'm jealous that he won't sleep with me. The thing is he'll stay with me till I fall asleep then will venture elsewhere. With my friend though he's fiercely loyal to staying with her all night. She goes to bed earlier than I do when she stays over so she's on the couch and she moves a lot and tosses and turns. He will usually jump off the couch to avoid getting hit while she moves then he'll jump back up and lay anywhere near her and just lay there, not even asleep most of the time. 

It's extremely frustrating because James and I have had a lot of problems and I got him as a stray my mother found. I've been struggling with my relationship with him because it's not the way my relationship was with my Tina. I had Tina since I was a little girl and she passed away recently when she was 18. She was my whole heart and she was like my shadow. Everywhere I went everyone knew Tina would be there and she always slept with me. My relationship with James is nothing like that and I don't understand why or what I'm doing wrong. This example is I guess just an example of the weak relationship I feel I have with my dog and it's very frustrating.


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## Shell (Oct 19, 2009)

It doesn't mean anything for your relationship with your dog if he sleeps in your room, on the bed, on the floor, or in another room. He might prefer the air vents in another room, he might feel worried about your friend (tossing and turning) but feel confident in your being on your own, he might want to be near the water bowl, he might be stressed out by "new" person visiting and lay there awake to keep an eye on things.
The fact that he doesn't sleep when he lays near her says to me that he is a bit watchful or cautious and maybe not completely relaxed about the visitor anyway. Maybe if he normally sleeps on the couch on his own he feels a little like his spot is taken? 

I like knowing that my dog is comfortable sleeping on his own in the living room if he chooses to, I like that he is trustworthy to be loose and wander the house, I like that he is independent and confident. Some nights he sleeps in the bedroom, some nights he doesn't. It doesn't mean anything. 
If I visit my dad's house, my dog chooses to sleep on my father's bed since it is more comfortable and my father sleeps much later in the morning than I do so he doesn't disturb my lazy dog. 

Dogs are simple creatures, they just do what works and don't look for deeper meaning.


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## RitaNg123 (Sep 27, 2012)

Maybe your dog just likes the novelty of someone new. My dog adores me, but there are times when she just likes to be in the laps of my friends when they are over. Just the other day, we had a bunch of company over, and we were all in the family room together, and then I got up to go upstairs. My dog ran to follow me up the stairs, but when I told her to go back downstairs, she had no hesitation to sprint downstairs to be with all our friends. I figure she knows she can cuddle with me whenever she wants, so she might as well take advantage of being given all this attention from others.


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

I agree. My dog always seeks novelty... he's confident and independent ... as long as he knows where I am  Now that he's much older, he sometimes gets fearful when he loses sight of me, but if I wave my hand, ... he goes back to ignoring me  Your dog may be similar.


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

I don't think who the dog sleeps with is necessarily a relationship indicator.

Your friend could be warmer when he sleeps or smooshier in the right places or breathe differently. There could be a dozen reasons unrelated to how the dog feels about you as to why he prefers sleeping with your buddy when they're over.

I'd be more interested in how things are when you're both awake. You said that you worry that the sleeping arrangements are just another indicator of a weak relationship...are there other problems besides where he chooses to sleep? We might be able to offer ideas for those.


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