# Needy, Clingy Puppy



## Two Labs Mom (Apr 10, 2008)

My female chocolate lab is just 11 weeks old so I recognize that she is still very much a baby and a lot of this is probably baby behavior ... 

However, we are finding after her being with us about 3 weeks now that she does not like being left out of anything. She is fine if her buddy (our yellow lab) is in the room with her but if he is not, she is constantly whining and seeking everybody else's attention. If she is not the center of attention every minute, she sits and stares at everyone and just whines and whines. The whining will get louder and louder until she starts barking/crying really loud and won't stop until someone eventually gives in. She also will do this whenever anyone leaves the room and she is left there alone, even for just a few seconds.

Our trainer said that she and our boy were getting too attached to each other, so at her suggestion we started keeping them separate from each other (for now, during training) except for a couple of play times during the day. Her suggestions in dealing with the whining was to ignore it when it's happening and then praise her when she is quiet. So far, that is not having any effect. 

Is this some form of separation anxiety (from her buddy)? She is very clingy when he is not around ... what would you recommend to get the whining to stop and to help her feel more secure when her buddy is not around? Obviously we can't be showing her attention 24/7, but we want to help her feel more secure when it is just her and us without having her demand our constant attention.

Oh, and I should add that I am home pretty much most of the day and she has several hours a day with me during the day and with the family at night. She gets exercised and walked at least twice a day too, not including our training sessions ...

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.


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## Xeph (May 7, 2007)

From what it sounds like, it's not separation anxiety.

Your baby...is bored.

A tired puppy is a happy puppy, and it would seem that you aren't stimulating her enough. She's telling you so. "Maaaa, I'm borrrrrrrrrrrrred, play with meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

Now, you shouldn't bend to her whim and pay attention to her when she's whining really loudly, however, I would be paying attention to what she's trying to tell you.

If she's being that obnoxious, it means she's not tired enough, and you guys need to play more. She CAN indeed learn that when it's time to chill, it's time to chill, but this is all a compromise. You're going to have to adjust to her in some aspects just as she must to you.

A relationship with dogs is just like people...give and take.

Exercising is great, and can physically tire the baby, but even if the body is tired, the mind may not be, and the puppy will try it's damndest to make you play with it so it can exercise it's little puppy brain.

If she's whining, try giving her a kong or buster cube. Puzzles will keep her entertained. Play some light games of tuggy with her, and train an "out" command, so she has to think while she works for her reward.

The moment she starts whining "Shhhh..." when she's quiet, praise, and give a cookie. She should catch on pretty quick.

Ignoring a behavior generally works, but some behaviors it's better to prompt what you want first, and train right away the behavior you want, instead of allowing it to get worse.

There are some pups in my puppy class that are like this, and the more you ignore, the LOUDER they get. It's best to tell them "Shhhh..." and reward them when they've shut their lil yappers because you made a cool noise.

In just two weeks they figure out that barking and whining gets them nothing


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## poodleholic (Mar 15, 2007)

> Our trainer said that she and our boy were getting too attached to each other, so at her suggestion we started keeping them separate from each other (for now, during training) except for a couple of play times during the day. Her suggestions in dealing with the whining was to ignore it when it's happening and then praise her when she is quiet. So far, that is not having any effect.


Good advice. I would also give her something to keep her busy, and to ensure she has enough exercise to burn off pent-up energy. 





> Is this some form of separation anxiety (from her buddy)? She is very clingy when he is not around ... what would you recommend to get the whining to stop and to help her feel more secure when her buddy is not around? Obviously we can't be showing her attention 24/7, but we want to help her feel more secure when it is just her and us without having her demand our constant attention.


No, not SA. Nip that demand for attention behavior in the bud! Do 3-5-min. training sessions with her throughout the day.


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

> The whining will get louder and louder until she starts barking/crying really loud and won't stop until someone eventually gives in.


Right now, the puppy is the one conducting the training sessions.

I don't mean this unkindly. It is almost impossible to resist the demands of puppies and babies.

Interesting notion about the pup becoming too attached to the older dog. Molly was about the age of your pup when we got her and she and Esther have only been separated when Molly was spayed. She adores her big sister, but is very attentive and affectionate around her human family.


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## TooneyDogs (Aug 6, 2007)

Here's a slightly different take....Puppies are deathly afraid to be left alone...it's a survival instinct. In the wild, separation from the pack can be a death penalty. It takes experience/maturity before they learn that being alone is OK.
This is the ideal time for training...that wanting to be with you will never be more intense. You are her world...she doesn't know anything else. Put her to work.
We tend to think that whining is for attention and that's partly true but, as I said earlier, it's part fear and an even bigger chunk of it is, "What am I supposed to do?" That's the part that plays into her insecurity...not know what is expected of her. As others stated, reward/praise for laying quietly, chewing on a toy...catch the good behaviors.


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## emily445455 (Apr 8, 2008)

Wow I thought my pup was bad, lol, when she's bored she'll bark at me until I do something. I understand how frustrating and discouraging it can get...she barks at me all the time regardless to how much I try to play with her, take her on walks, etc.  It makes me upset...I feel like a bad mommy.


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## Two Labs Mom (Apr 10, 2008)

This is all really good advice, thank you! I hadn't thought of some of this before but it makes perfect sense. She does seem rather lost when she's just hanging out with us, almost as if she doesn't know what she's supposed to be doing with herself ... do I sit here, do we play now, do I sleep ...? She does have a Kong - I'll start loading that up for her in the evenings (this behavior happens mostly then - we keep her pretty busy during the day). 

I also like the idea of saying 'shhhh' then giving a treat when she quiets. That's definitely the kind of approach she responds well to. She doesn't do well with corrections - they seem to just deflate her. I like the idea of positive reinforcement of the desired behavior rather than correction of the undesirable behavior and she seems to respond better to that approach.

And yes, she has been in control of the training lately! So hard not to give in to that sweet puppy face that just seems to say "LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME!" 

Yes, I know, some owner training is in order here too. LOL


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## emily445455 (Apr 8, 2008)

I looked up kongs and buster cubes, but I'm still confused as to what they are and what they do. Seems to me like a kong is just another toy, and a buster cube would become boring once my (very smart) pup figured out how to get the food out.


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## Melou1889 (Feb 26, 2008)

I dont know about all that. It does not matter how tired my boxer is he refuses to be left alone and hes a year and 8 months. He WILL cry all day whether you ignore him or not. My neighbors complained one day so i cant really continue to ignore him. He gets plenty of excercise now that its spring. It's never enough for him. He is never tired. He never gives up and if you ignore him he will do everything he can to get back to where you are. He has broken out of cars, several screens and crates. What do you do with a dog this big. What else does he have to do while your gone but try to break out. He hurts himself in doing so. He has locked himself in crates by dragging the door inside the cage or ripping bars. I put him in a kennel and he dug under it. I put him on a lead and he wraps it tight around something so he can chew on it. Talk about smart. He has kongs and other toys and DESTROYS them.


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## TooneyDogs (Aug 6, 2007)

Melou1889 said:


> He WILL cry all day whether you ignore him or not. He gets plenty of excercise now that its spring. It's never enough for him. He is never tired.



A couple of things come to mind. Dogs normally sleep about 16 hours a day.
Some reasons for not sleeping...hyper-thyroidism (rare), other endocrine problems, sugar highs, lack of exercise. For some dogs exercise can create super athletes and the physical demands just get higher.
High energy dogs need to run 12-17 miles a day...medium energy dogs around 5-10 miles and low energy dogs 1-3 miles....seniors, infirm and puppies exempted. For comparison and for fun: the average distance covered by a dog sled team is 100 miles per day.
The other thing that really wears out dogs is mental stimulation. My guys crash after an evening of obedience work...mentally challenging but, not very physical.


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## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

being the owner of a very clingy needy now 1.5 year old min pin, nip it in the bud NOW! i can't play with my dog every second of the day or every time he wants to play. especially with the baby coming, he's going to have to learn this. if he has food and water, a bone to chew on, and has been let out to potty, then if the whining and pestering continues even with ignoring i'll put him in his crate. it's not a punishment, it's a "i can't deal with you right now, so go to your cave and relax for a while". usually he chews on his bone for a while and takes a nap. when i'm ready to walk him or play with him, i let him out. if I gave in to all his demands, my day would be all about him and there would be no time to even shower.


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## Two Labs Mom (Apr 10, 2008)

What is a buster cube?


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