# Help Choosing Boy vs. Girl Bichon Frise Puppies



## esabet (Mar 31, 2010)

We are looking to buy a Bichon Frise puppy. The daunting question that we are facing is _*girl *_puppy or *boy *puppy!!

In my household we have three kids: 11 Yr. Old Boy, 8 Yr. Old Girl and a 3 Yr. Old girl. We want a puppy that is agile, playful and, *most importantly*, is *not *a "one man dog", that he or she will love us all equally without having any favorites.

Considering the above criteria, and _being specific with the Bichon Frise breed_, should we be concerned about if the puppy is a boy or a girl?


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## Dogstar (May 11, 2007)

Boy! Sweeter, less attitude, and definitely more playful!


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## K9 Wolf (Jan 31, 2010)

Boys tend to be more attached to people, females can be more independent. It costs less to neuter a male then a female. females are more likely to "hate" other girls, even if neutered. Males are likely to "hate" other males, if intact, neutered males are awesome!


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

Personally I don't think it matters all that much. I would pick the puppy that has the temperament you like regardless of gender.

That said, all my dogs have been girls.


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## Locke (Nov 3, 2008)

I had a female bichon, and she was sweet as can be. Loved everyone, including my little kid self who would dress her up in my dolls clothes and parade her around. She especially loved my dad as he was her primary care taker, but she would crawl into anyone's lap for a cuddle. 

My two dogs now are male and they're drastically different temperament wise. Matrix loves attention, but he decides when he wants cuddles and when he doesn't. Mitch is far more easy going, and if you want to cuddle him, he'll happily wait til cuddles are over and then go do what he wants.


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## yappypappymom (Oct 22, 2009)

What a tough call, huh?  I have 2 daughters myself, & 2 step sons (REAL "kids" here)...Boys & girls are ALOT different from each other. All 4 of them have different personalities, but, still, at the end of the day, boys are more likely to punch each other out, & then go play basketball & are fine. Girls blab on & on for hours to tell you ONE thing that could have taken a second to relay, &, have emotions off the richter scale...
THAT being said, I have ALWAYS gravitated to boy animals myself personally. It is just what has worked for me in the past, so, its a formula that I always tend to stick with. I don't "adopt" much(1 at a time for me), but, for some reason(I REALLY DON'T know WHY this thought is "stuck" into MY head or where it originated from), I have always thought that females were just a bit more "baggage" on the emotional side(I'm talking about dogs here), &, therefor, have only ever had boy dogs. (another note, I have found that boy ferrets are "sweeter" too).
Then again, I also know friends of mine(females) that have girl dogs who are perfect angels - they are just as sweet as can be, so, there goes MY "theory". I say that you pack up the kids & take them to spend quite a bit of time w/BOTH sexes, &, see if 1 particular pup tends to enjoy your children the most. As a parent, since you have both a boy & girls, THIS would be my main focus - a well-rounded pup who is NOT "scared" of children, wether it be male OR female!


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## Michiyo-Fir (Jul 25, 2009)

Most breeders say generally boys are more attached to the family and more willing to please. Females are a little moodier and like to be more independent. But it's just generally, I'm sure there are plenty of out of the category males and females.

I think it's more important to ask the breeder which puppy has the personality, sweet, loving, likes attention, etc. that you're looking for than deciding male or female.


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## yappypappymom (Oct 22, 2009)

Michiyo-Fir said:


> Most breeders say generally boys are more attached to the family and more willing to please. Females are a little moodier and like to be more independent. But it's just generally, I'm sure there are plenty of out of the category males and females.
> 
> I think it's more important to ask the breeder which puppy has the personality, sweet, loving, likes attention, etc. that you're looking for than deciding male or female.


 Michi, I specifically remember that out of a litter of 5, Leif was one of 2 boys...there was 1 little girl "unclaimed", &, she was SOOOO freaking loveable that, I was SERIOUSLY considering HER...she was a doll, & EXTREMELY friendly!!


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## Cracker (May 25, 2009)

I've only ever had girl dogs in my family and Cracker is a girl, but I work with many of both genders and find them all to be different.

I'm glad you guys are getting a new pup, Esabet. I would choose the one with the temperament and personality I like and want, rather than go by gender.


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## esabet (Mar 31, 2010)

Thank you all for your inputs.

What I am seeing here is in consensus of what I have been hearing, that is to say, it all depends on the individual dog, gender being irrelevant, *specially* if the dog is going to be _neutered/spayed_ !!

Someone also told me that while gender may be more relevant in some breeds, in the case of Bichons gender is truly irrelevant.

I know that asking the breeder is one of the better ideas but the problem is when you find a breeder that has only one of the genders then almost 90% of time they will tell you that gender has no impact!


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## esabet (Mar 31, 2010)

Cracker said:


> I've only ever had girl dogs in my family and Cracker is a girl, but I work with many of both genders and find them all to be different.
> 
> I'm glad you guys are getting a new pup, Esabet. I would choose the one with the temperament and personality I like and want, rather than go by gender.


Hi Cracker. The second we took Jeter back we started looking for a pups!  

I must also add that as we are seeing puppies, as much as it saddens me to have returned Jeter, we are noticing that we had deprived ourselves of those puppy years. They are so bold and happy! It is incredible! 

Thank you for the continued support.


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## LuvMyAngels (May 24, 2009)

As the others have said, the right puppy for you is the one you "click" with. When I was looking for my pup last year gender was one of the last things on my list. I was more concerned about finding the right puppy than weather I got a male or female pup. I ended up with the most submissive male in the litter, a very special boy that has me (and everyone that meets him) wrapped around his paws....good thing Saints have big paws


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## esabet (Mar 31, 2010)

Hello again. Here is an "off subject" question. I just did not want to open a new thread for this question. 

We have found a breeder that has three "girl" puppies. She tells us that she intends to keep one for herself and two are for sale. But then she added that she will not allow us to pick from the litter and she will place each puppy herself!!

Is that normal practice?


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

Yes that's normal. A good breeder should be able to match you with the pups. They know the pups better than you could tell by meeting them.


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## Nargle (Oct 1, 2007)

Laurelin said:


> Yes that's normal. A good breeder should be able to match you with the pups. They know the pups better than you could tell by meeting them.


Yep, they're spending 8+ weeks living with these pups and caring for them every day. I'm certain they'll know the pups a lot better than one could learn in one or two visits  

A word of advice, if you want to avoid allowing the dog to get attached to a specific family member, try to divide the duty of caring for the dog evenly between the family members. Each person should takes turns walking, feeding, grooming, etc. and spend roughly equal time with the dog. Some of the time when one person is declared the care-taker, the dog ends up bonding closest with that person. When we adopted Basil, I was essentially the care-taker, and he bonded closely with me. Then my boyfriend and I decided to divide the chores more evenly, and they would spend "guy time" together to bond  Basil is still slightly more attached to me, but he certainly has bonded with my boyfriend, too!


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## flipgirl (Oct 5, 2007)

esabet said:


> Thank you all for your inputs.
> 
> What I am seeing here is in consensus of what I have been hearing, that is to say, it all depends on the individual dog, gender being irrelevant, *specially* if the dog is going to be _neutered/spayed_ !!
> 
> ...


I would go with a male - more affectionate. Not necessarily more playful but less independent than a female. I don't think spaying and neutering matters much; my dog is still independent and while she can be affectionate, not nearly as affectionate as the male dogs I've met. 

I know there are exceptions though. I think maybe having a male in mind but asking the breeder about his particular litter - who he thinks will be the most affectionate. By nature, bichons are playful and mine is only part bichon so if you're looking for happy and playful, you've picked the right breed!


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## Bubbly (Mar 20, 2010)

flipgirl said:


> I would go with a male - more affectionate. Not necessarily more playful but less independent than a female. I don't think spaying and neutering matters much; my dog is still independent and while she can be affectionate, not nearly as affectionate as the male dogs I've met.
> 
> I know there are exceptions though. I think maybe having a male in mind but asking the breeder about his particular litter - who he thinks will be the most affectionate. By nature, bichons are playful and mine is only part bichon so if you're looking for happy and playful, you've picked the right breed!


I can't say I know anything about Bichon's, but from my own experience the theory about females being more independent can't be more wrong. Bubbles is a very clingy dog. She's always in the same room as we are and more often than not sitting next to me. It's not like she has SA, but she just prefers to be attached to me like a piece of velcro when I'm at home. She's very affectionate, not just with me but with everyone that she meets.

I think similar to people it's just depends on the individual dog and the home environment that you provide. When I was looking for a dog I only wanted a girl because I thought they're more gentle (that was before I learned all about dogs). Whether it was because I got lucky with Bubbles or through the way I raised her, now, I have a clingy, sweet and loving girl and I can't be happier.


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## esabet (Mar 31, 2010)

Nargle said:


> Yep, they're spending 8+ weeks living with these pups and caring for them every day. I'm certain they'll know the pups a lot better than one could learn in one or two visits
> 
> A word of advice, if you want to avoid allowing the dog to get attached to a specific family member, try to divide the duty of caring for the dog evenly between the family members. Each person should takes turns walking, feeding, grooming, etc. and spend roughly equal time with the dog. Some of the time when one person is declared the care-taker, the dog ends up bonding closest with that person. When we adopted Basil, I was essentially the care-taker, and he bonded closely with me. Then my boyfriend and I decided to divide the chores more evenly, and they would spend "guy time" together to bond  Basil is still slightly more attached to me, but he certainly has bonded with my boyfriend, too!


I understand what you are saying. Its a relive to know that is norm then.

The fact that she intends to keep one for herself made me think she may not necessarily have my best interest in mind, rather she just wants to be able to pick the "best" for herself first! You see, as much as my family cares about the temperament of the puppy, we also care about the looks. We have seen puppies from other breeders that despite their good temperament we would not choose them as our puppy.


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## Nargle (Oct 1, 2007)

esabet said:


> I understand what you are saying. Its a relive to know that is norm then.
> 
> The fact that she intends to keep one for herself made me think she may not necessarily have my best interest in mind, rather she just wants to be able to pick the "best" for herself first! You see, as much as my family cares about the temperament of the puppy, we also care about the looks. We have seen puppies from other breeders that despite their good temperament we would not choose them as our puppy.


Well, she is the breeder, and she gets to ultimately decides what happens to all of the puppies. It's not uncommon, though, for a breeder to keep the best show/breeding prospect and later add it to their breeding stock. If they produce a pup with exceptionally good genetics, they're probably going to want to take advantage of that so that they can produce even more exceptional pups in the future. 

That doesn't mean she doesn't have your best interest in mind. I'm sure that the other pups in the litter are just as cute! I wouldn't really worry about it. What's "best" to the breeder may not even be what's "best" to you, anyways. The most adorable puppy might not even be the best show prospect. In my opinion, my dog Basil is the most adorable Papillon ever, but he's way too big for the breed standard. I don't care about how big he is, but I did want a dog that I found to be attractive.


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## esabet (Mar 31, 2010)

Nargle said:


> Well, she is the breeder, and she gets to ultimately decides what happens to all of the puppies. It's not uncommon, though, for a breeder to keep the best show/breeding prospect and later add it to their breeding stock. If they produce a pup with exceptionally good genetics, they're probably going to want to take advantage of that so that they can produce even more exceptional pups in the future.
> 
> That doesn't mean she doesn't have your best interest in mind. I'm sure that the other pups in the litter are just as cute! I wouldn't really worry about it. What's "best" to the breeder may not even be what's "best" to you, anyways. The most adorable puppy might not even be the best show prospect. In my opinion, my dog Basil is the most adorable Papillon ever, but he's way too big for the breed standard. I don't care about how big he is, but I did want a dog that I found to be attractive.


Thanks, I understand 100%! Now I feel much more comfortable!


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

Yes breeders keep the best puppy for themselves to continue breeding. It would not make much sense to keep the worst of the litter to breed.


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## HayleyMarie (Dec 22, 2008)

Im my own experiance I would go for a female. I have vowed for now on I am going to be sticking with Females for my future dogs gender. I find males way way to clingy and needy. Both my male dogs are like that and it drives me nuts. Another thing I find is that Males are so sensitive about everything LOL. With all the females I have had they have all been loving and outgoing and sweet, but not as needy and sensative as my males. I also have found females to be more independant. My famale is clingy, but WAY WAY less than my males/


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## pyralis (Mar 18, 2010)

Michiyo-Fir said:


> Most breeders say generally boys are more attached to the family and more willing to please. Females are a little moodier and like to be more independent.


There's a reason all the Lassie's that ever acted on the TV show and Movies of the same name were all portrayed by MALE dogs.  I watched a show on Animal Planet once where they interviewed the caretaker of the kennel that had always provided a Lassie for the TV show and he said something to the effect of, "The male dogs are always happy to do the same tricks over and over again, which is often required during a taping. The females tend to get bored and annoyed after a few repetitions. So we've always used male dogs." 

I've always been drawn to male animals. I'd rather work with a colt or stallion than a mare, and always look for geldings when it comes to horses I look at for personal use. 

That said, I've somehow ended up with a female dog (who is awesome), two female cats, and one female horse (granted, she's a MINI horse, so how much trouble could she be?). The only males in our household are my husband and my oldest horse! Though we may be adopting a male Weimaraner soon.


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## flipgirl (Oct 5, 2007)

Bubbly said:


> I can't say I know anything about Bichon's, but from my own experience the theory about females being more independent can't be more wrong. Bubbles is a very clingy dog. She's always in the same room as we are and more often than not sitting next to me. It's not like she has SA, but she just prefers to be attached to me like a piece of velcro when I'm at home. She's very affectionate, not just with me but with everyone that she meets.
> 
> I think similar to people it's just depends on the individual dog and the home environment that you provide. When I was looking for a dog I only wanted a girl because I thought they're more gentle (that was before I learned all about dogs). Whether it was because I got lucky with Bubbles or through the way I raised her, now, I have a clingy, sweet and loving girl and I can't be happier.


Like I said, there are exceptions. I've met females who are super affectionate and needy and I've met males that are independent and not as social. I was just saying that in general, male dogs are more needy and affectionate and the females are more independent. Trust me I wish my dog was the exception. Bichons, however, are just playful and happy by nature, male or female. I never thought I'd ever love a white fluffy dog but her personality (other than her independence) is the best so in those terms, I'd recommend a Bichon any day! There are other dogs like this, I just have personal experience with bichons - well part bichons anyway.


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