# Skittish dog plus toddler...



## clickntreat (Feb 19, 2010)

I have had our neurotic dog Miles for almost two years now. Through my pregnancy, despite having four months of all day morning sickness and later on preeclampsia which resulted in bedrest, I turned this completely messed up dog mostly completely around. He learned his basic obedience, sits, stays, downs, heels, loose leash walking, come, to the point that they are completely proofed - anywhere any situation. He knows leave it, back, drop it, go to your crate and so much more as well. He even went from being pretty schizo to being more relaxed, tolerant of dogs and kids (was previously dog aggressive). Ugh. Unfortunately despite all of his training he does not LOVE kids and babies, and is very sensitive to rough handling. Also unfortunately it is getting more and more difficult to keep the baby away from the dog, if she sees him she wants to touch him, and since he is a total velcro dog, it is hard to keep him away from me so that she is not near him. He jumps the baby gates so this is no help. If he is locked out of a room he gets miserable and cries (he used to also have awful destructive separation anxiety which has also improved immensely). A lot of the time he ends up crated. It is his only safe place from the baby, and the only place he will stay happy away from me. The problem is that sometimes when she grabs him (again I try to keep this from happening, but if you have an active toddler well you know the deal) he growls. Once he has given a warning snap. I am not delusional about this. He is obviously deteriorating. Can I turn him around or will this be impossible unless they are completely separated???


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## clickntreat (Feb 19, 2010)

Let me also add that he was a rescue and was already three years old when I adopted him.


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## Pepper (Jan 27, 2008)

I'm sorry but it sounds like it would be best to find him a new home, it doesn't seem safe for him or for the baby to be put in situations that could cause him to be put to sleep as a "baby biter" and I don't think your child is very safe..
The only think you could do is not let the baby touch him at all if it irritates him so much, but that can be a lot to ask for because little kids do love dogs.


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## snwflk (Apr 13, 2010)

Some dogs just dont like babies.. they make them VERY nervous. You have done a great job getting him this far, it only seems far to give him to a family that doesnt have lil ones. I have been there. My DD is 5 and I have a very WELL behaved dog who if she isnt feeling well WILL snap if my dd is bothering her. So now I watch the two of them like a hawk. 

So.. in the interest of your child and your dog, it only seems far to rehome the dog so he doesnt have to be stressed anymore. Just my honest opinion. 

I hope you find a good solution!.. Good luck.


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## clickntreat (Feb 19, 2010)

I am leaning towards the same, but my husband doesn't see the severity claiming that my work with dogs has made me "overly sensitive" to dog aggression and that his childhood dog growled at him all the time. He tends to deteriorate as well if we get him a babysitter or bring him to family's house, getting freaked out, I suppose since he was given up before. He has come so far but I am afraid in a new home or back at a shelter he would go completely bonkers again. Not to mention in these already over crowded shelters, who is going to adopt a dog who doesn't get along with dogs or kids and pees himself during thunderstorms? Ugh this kills me.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

I don't think he's deteriorating at all! So, don't despair!  I think his environment is changing, that's all. First, there was a baby, then it became a toddler, and yes, toddlers are all over the place! 
And, remember, you turned him around once, so he definitely responds to training and to you! So, chin up!
What he's doing with the growl, and snap is saying to your toddler "I don't like that, back off." Now, your job is hard, because it's twofold:
-first, you have to protect your child !!!! Big, important job!
-second, you have to protect your dog. He's entitled to not be grabbed at by a tiny person that he's not sure about! 

One thing you can do to help in the long run is start instructed your toddler on not touching the dog. Yes, I know, it won't work right away! Probably not for a long long time! Babies don't understand! But, you need to lay down that foundation anyway. "Don't touch the puppy!" Over and over!

Now, like I said, it won't work, but you have to start somewhere! And, even though you're saying that, you still have to make sure that your toddler is NEVER able to grab the puppy! I know, easier said than done! If your toddler is having play time on the floor or toddling around like toddlers do, the dog should be crated. If your toddler is napping out of the way, take the puppy out! 

If you have a husband or significant other, or older family member, they can help you possibly have toddler and puppy in the same room, so one person makes sure puppy stays away from toddler, and one person makes sure toddler stays away from puppy! You might try tethering your puppy to your significant other with a leash while you have the toddler, so that there's never a moment where the puppy's allowed to get at the toddler, and you can control the puppy if the toddler starts coming near the puppy!
You basically need to train each to respect the other! Of course, your child is helpless and needs the most protection and should be your FIRST PRIORITY!


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## TxRider (Apr 22, 2009)

doxiemommy said:


> I don't think he's deteriorating at all! So, don't despair!  I think his environment is changing, that's all. First, there was a baby, then it became a toddler, and yes, toddlers are all over the place!
> And, remember, you turned him around once, so he definitely responds to training and to you! So, chin up!
> What he's doing with the growl, and snap is saying to your toddler "I don't like that, back off." Now, your job is hard, because it's twofold:
> -first, you have to protect your child !!!! Big, important job!
> ...


The child may not be able to grasp stay away from the puppy, but I bet the puppy could grasp stay out of reach of the child with a bit of work.


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## clickntreat (Feb 19, 2010)

After researching more I am wondering if it would be a better option to SOMETIMES put a basket muzzle on him? I do crate him when she plays, but I don't want to crate him too much, that's not a fair life for a dog. Perhaps if sometimes he were crated when she is down and sometimes muzzled it would be better? I have been teaching him to go to his crate when she approaches him, and he does it a lot when we are downstairs, but upstairs, he just growls, and the one time he swung around which made me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. I do a lot of work where he is rewarded for lying down near her when I have her under control and he is relaxed, which is not easy, he gets VERY tense. She is FAST which is the biggest problem. But again, would I be remiss as a dog lover to put a muzzle on as a safety net?


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## TxRider (Apr 22, 2009)

clickntreat said:


> After researching more I am wondering if it would be a better option to SOMETIMES put a basket muzzle on him? I do crate him when she plays, but I don't want to crate him too much, that's not a fair life for a dog. Perhaps if sometimes he were crated when she is down and sometimes muzzled it would be better? I have been teaching him to go to his crate when she approaches him, and he does it a lot when we are downstairs, but upstairs, he just growls, and the one time he swung around which made me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. I do a lot of work where he is rewarded for lying down near her when I have her under control and he is relaxed, which is not easy, he gets VERY tense. She is FAST which is the biggest problem. But again, would I be remiss as a dog lover to put a muzzle on as a safety net?


It would be safer, but little fingers can go through a basket rather easily, you would still need to watch like a hawk.


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## DJEtzel (Dec 28, 2009)

And even with a muzzle, you are just putting him into an uncomfortable situation in which he can't show how uncomfortable he is. 

I realize babies are quick. They're also weak. You CAN stop your daughter from grabbing him. Perhaps if you did, and clicker trained him to be used to her with no negative interaction, he'd learn to love her much more easily. 

I don't thin he's deteriorating, just uncomfortable. And it's your job as a mother and owner to stop that from happening, for the safety of both human and dog. Can't you put your baby in a play pen? The dog would be able to choose to walk away or go up to her in that case, and I'm betting he'd stay away. 

Also, what about those baby leashes? I think they're dumb and tacky, but they'd probably be good for a young toddler just starting to explore the world. The dog could be in the room, and if she started to approach, you could stop her before she got too close to touch him or breach his comfort zone. If the dog's going to be glued to you, keep the baby on one side of you on the couch, and the dog the other.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

I agree! It may have sounded earlier like I didn't think this is a serious issue; don't get me wrong....it COULD be bad, but it could also be worked out, IF you are PROACTIVE!  There are ways to keep your dog from hurting your child! It doesn't have to be a lost cause! Especially since you have proven that you can work with your dog!
And, even though your child can't yet grasp staying away from the dog you should still lay the foundation for learning that. Good luck!


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## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

I could have written your post almost word for word. Except that we got our dog as a 3 month old pup and instead of pre-eclampsia I ended up with gestational diabetes for the last trimester. It is hard, and stressful, to keep the dog and baby apart sometimes. The baby gates have been great, and there have been times I crate him as well. He doesn't like it, but it's the best for all of us. If my toddler is in a rotten mood and every time I turn around he's grabbing the dog's leg, throwing something at him, or pinching him, that's not ok. That's totally unacceptable behavior for my toddler (but if you have kids you know that you have to repeat yourself about a billion times before they get it....) so I remove my dog from the situation if he's not smart enough to remove himself. And there are times when he's had enough noise or chasing that he'll go find a quiet place and lay down, which is the right choice. 

The other thing is to keep your toddler busy doing other things as much as you can. Usually my son will pick on the dog because he's bored and it gets a big reaction from the dog and from me.


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## Hollis (Jan 25, 2010)

Our last dog was not a huge fan of children and I have four that are extremely close in age. Poor guy. We'd had him for about 8 years when our first was born. Because I was always unsure of their relationship it was a very clear that my children needed to be taught "manners" around our dog. And they responded very well. He was pretty much left alone. Never were they rough with him. It was one of those household rules that they learned quickly that Mom was very serious about. My kids are now in kindy and preschool and are very respectful of dogs.

I think my situation was very different because he wasn't a jumper and he was older at the time. He did not have SA so knowing I was in the house, in full view but behind a gate with the kids was a beautiful thing for him. He loved having my kids on the other side of a gate! But, as time went by he grow to love my children. He'd walk by them and the kids just instinctively would pat him on his way by. They'd snuggle on the couch to watch TV. He would protect them while in the yard. I'd never leave him alone with them but as they learned to respect him - he learned to trust them.


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## clickntreat (Feb 19, 2010)

OK so here was the number one "d'oh" thing I realized. Miles knows the command "out" so it became very easy to teach him to stay out of the playroom even though he used to jump the baby gates. Second, if I am vigilant I can simply remember to put him away anytime I am setting her down in the den, etc. and to let him out anytime I am leaving the house, putting her in the playroom, crib, or pack n play, or carrying her. That way he is not locked up too much. Fourth, I simply close him out of rooms that I am working in with the baby on the floor. I will continue setting up positive experiences with him (I have been doing that all along), but now I am so extra vigilant he gets to completely avoid bad experiences. Yay for Miles! Keeping her on a leash or in a playpen (they are only 4 x2, not enough space for my active girl to stay happy for more than a few minutes) was not feasible, but I began using it more for those short doses like when I am cleaning up the high chair post meal. Also I have been putting him on a leash with me to extra ensure he doesn't break the rule and go in the playroom (if for instance I am sweeping the foyer while she plays) which gives him some bonus time out of the crate. He is not crazy about this much crating, but it only adds up to MAYBE four hours so I don't think that that is the end of the world! Thanks for reminding me that no challenge is insurmountable. Also, forgoing the muzzle, I don't think that would have been much help - like ya'll said, little fingers anyway!


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## DJEtzel (Dec 28, 2009)

I'm glad you found a happy, safe way to avoid that situation, and four hours isn't too much spread out over a day, I'm sure Miles will be happier there than being poked or prodded anyway!


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## jhayden (Jul 15, 2012)

Hello!

I realize I am posting this much later than the OP, but I wanted to thank her and the other posters for this advice. I, too, could have written the post word-for-word. I gooogled skittish dog around toddler and this was the first result. I registered with this site purely to thank you all.
My dog was rescued young but had plenty of problems already. Separation anxiety, fear of and nipping at strangers ankles, and as she got older she developed (despite regular socialization) dog aggression. After intense training and love she improved, and the addition of another dog seemed to really mellow her out (though she could still never be around other dogs). Penultimately neurotic, she is velcro, easily startled, and throws up when stressed-- to make it all worse she's 75 pounds. Despite all of this, she always loved children and was very tolerant of them (the first years I had her were spent in a house with a young child).
My dog was seven when the baby was born and she LOVED the baby when he was little until he was just learning to crawl. Once he began to fast crawl and stand, little boy began to sometimes be too rough. I always corrected him and removed him from the situation, but she became agitated. Once she growled at him and I yelled at the dog and removed the baby. After that, she was increasingly agitated even at the site of him. I began to worry that the situation couldn't be rectified...that she was "deteriorating." (I was even afraid she'd had a mental break of some kind because it was such an acute change). Unfortunately, my dog's problems are so severe that I don't believe another home would or could take her, not even in the family. She is only able to subdue her anxiety at our home, with me and her sister dog and is not tolerant of strangers.

Thankfully, this post is the first thing I read and I skipped the ones that said give her away as I don't believe that is an option. Now my plan is to get a baby gate for the master bedroom (the dogs believe it is theirs) which is visible from the play and living room when the baby is on the floor she may go in the room, or I might instruct her to go if she seems agitated. Once there she will get a cookie and be shut in by a baby gate (not a door which makes her feel trapped). 

I'll let you know how it goes!


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

if he can jump the baby gates maybe teach him TO jump them to get away from the baby if he is being bothered, also remember that KIDS need rules too just ingrain it in her mind that she is not to touch the dog or man handle him EVER. as a kid i was doing this & got bit (back before there was such an intolerance to that & your parents just said 'see what i told you'... like burning your hand on the stove) , i learned my lesson not to mess with a dog like its a stuffed animal. 

other then that i have nothing to offer, as i have no kids, nor do i have any desire to do so, dogs will always be my only kids; & speaking from a dog lovers/owners POV please PLEASE train your child not to mess with dogs because what they do to their oen dog they will think they can do to someone elses also & i speak as somsone who had a dog put off by kids for ever because of a grabby toddler who picked her up when she was about 4 mos old & prefceeded to DROP her!!!!!!! i was livid, of course. because of that she had an extreme dislike of kids under the age of 7


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