# I'm not a bad person, but I'm tired of my dog



## dogowner1975 (Aug 5, 2014)

Really, I'm not a bad person. I love my dog. He's a 14 year old lhasa apso. I've had him since he was a 3 month old puppy. My kids grew up with him. He was always well taken care of. I don't want to sound mean, but I'm getting really tired of him.

He always had chronic ear infections. Those of you who dealt with this before, know the smell. I took him to the vet and he did an ear flush, which cost $500 including the meds. That helped, but only for a month. A month later, it all came back again. I did it again. It helped, but again, it lasted only a month. The vet said since the dog is so old, he doesn't want to give him anesthesia anymore, because he's afraid he won't wake up from it. So ear flushes are no longer an option. I have a small house, so once you walk in, you can smell his ears immediately. I can't have friends or family over.

He started to poop inside the house. He never did this before. It's been happening the past few months. He will come from a walk and all of a sudden, he poops on the floor.

He has a skin condition, where it looks like dandruff is falling off of him. You can actually see his skin on the floor throughout the house. I vacuum and clean the floors everyday and they're dirty.

He's angry with everyone. He growls at me, my wife and my kids.

He throws up in his bed every once in a while. I buy him a special orthopedic bed and he ruins it in about a month. After a few washes, I have to throw it away.

I just feel that he overstayed his welcome. He's not enjoying his life. Nobody is enjoying him. He sleeps all day. Goes outside to do his thing. Eats, drinks and that's it. He's not joy to be around. Plus, the smell in the house is really bothering me.

I know he's old and old dogs have their problems, but I'm just getting really tired of dealing with all this on daily basis.

Is there anything I can do to help him and help myself at the same time? I took him to multiple vets and they're nothing but crooks... I'm sorry to say. They were charging me for meds that my dog didn't even need. They both had major conflicting reports and diagnoses. I know my dog has problems, but I don't want to go to any of these vets and get their opinion, because their opinion will be that I need to spend another $1,000 on meds.

What can I do? Is it time for euthanasia? What are my options?

Please don't judge me. You don't live in my household and you didn't live with this dog for the past 14 years. I'm just looking for advice on how to deal with this.

Thanks in advance.


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

...I'm sorry.

If you had come here without all of this 'the dog outlived his welcome' stuff, and expressed concern for his mental and emotional health and your family's financial and practical limitations as well as issues of safety, I'd be pretty sympathetic and not judge. 

"I'm sick of a dog I've had for 14 years." Being the subject line and oft repeated, along with concerns about him throwing up on his bed (get him a blanket to throw up on, save the bed) makes it awfully hard not to be.


No one can tell you if it's time to euth. Look at the dog and ask yourself what his quality of life is, if it is safe for him to be around people, and if there is reasonable expectation of improvement. Yeah. HIS quality of life. If you aren't willing to ask for vet opinions, though, I don't know what you expect us to tell you. Your dog is 14 years old, your tired of it, he smells bad and has dandruff and throws up and makes you clean. I'm really terribly sorry for your inconvenience.


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## Eenypup (Mar 21, 2014)

I'm not sure what type of advice you're looking for here? Euthanasia is not meant to be an option to rid you of the responsibilities of an aging dog. You've had him for 14 years and now don't care enough about him and just want him out of the house? Dogs spend their whole lives loving no one but us and really can only hope we'll put a little extra effort into them when they're older.

My mom's dog is 12 years old and has a myriad of health problems that cause my family money every day, but we can't bear the thought of having to put him down until he's not enjoying his life anymore. How inconvenient his schedule is or the fact that he needs a little more time devoted to him because he's old is not at all factored in. You should be cherishing your dog while you have time with him. If it's a quality of life issue for the dog himself I'd discuss options with a vet. But you kind of just sound like you don't care about the dog. Poor thing.


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## Sunak (Jul 3, 2014)

Hi DO1975-

I don't know what to do. I would only recommend keeping calm in a difficult situation. I have had some bad experiences with some vets, too. Some of them are crooked. I try to keep in mind that that is not my dog's fault. Also life today can be very demanding and stressful. I try to remember that that, too, isn't my dog's fault. Try to be patient and remember what's important in this world. This is about you and your dog and your life and the universe. Please try to be calm, to be patient, and let that be where your thoughts and movements come from.

-Sunak


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

Try going to a grain free alternative protein food. Many times ear infections and skin issues are caused by food allergies. It is VERY common for them to present that way. Try Taste of the Wild High prairie formula.
Give him a bath with microtek anti itch shampoo. You can get it online. It is antifungal and will help with the skin issues.

Get a toddler mattress pad to put on his bed where he is throwing up. Or adult incontinence bed pads, which are disposable.

A different vet won't charge 500 for ear cleaning.



If the dog has no quality of life, then humane euthanasia is the kindest thing. Make sure the vet knocks him out with a sedative first.


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## Kayota (Aug 14, 2009)

Have you considered homing him to someone who actually cares about him and isn't "tired" of him?


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## CrazyDogWoman (Dec 28, 2013)

I've had to "deal" with old dog "problems" - right up until their final breath. The "problems" weren't easy to deal with, but I dealt with them, because I loved my dog. I'd give anything to have my old dogs back, even if I had to deal with their "problems" (if they had a good quality of life).
I'm not going to give you advice on what to do with him, because to me it sounds like you already made up your mind.


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## Little Wise Owl (Nov 12, 2011)

Have you ever considered finding out WHY he has chronic ear infections, vomiting and skin issues? What do you feed him?


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## petpeeve (Jun 10, 2010)

I'm going to play devil's advocate and suggest euthanizing the dog. Not for your own sake but strictly for the sake of the dog. It must be unbearable for him to live with such strong resentment surrounding him, almost hatred I'd say.

If I thought for a moment there was any chance of him being successfully re-homed, I would suggest that. But at 14 yrs old and with a host of health problems ... 

Please think carefully before considering getting another pet. Honestly, I don't think you or your family is cut out for the responsibility. No offense intended, just straight talk.


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## dogowner1975 (Aug 5, 2014)

So which part of "don't judge me" don't you understand? I asked for advice on how to deal with this situation. You didn't have to live with this dog for the past 14 years. You didn't have to deal with his medical issues. You didn't have to spend thousands of dollars taking care of him. You didn't have to tell your family and friends not to come over, because your house smells. You didn't have to remodel the entire first floor of the house, because he would walk around, lift his leg and pee on a wall. You didn't have to deal with his aggressiveness and anger. Who gave you the right to judge me? You're not in my shoes. He bit me on multiple occasions, because I was giving him food and water and came close to his bowl. He growls at everyone who walks by his bed.

He was never fun to be around. Even when he was a little puppy, he was never playful and always angry. He never liked going for a walk, so taking him to a park was never an option. His vet recommended that I feed him Blue Buffalo, so I'm buying him that food. His throwing up didn't change. I'm just at a point that I feel his quality of life was never there, but now I'm just suffering because of him.

I'm asking for advice on how to deal with this situation. There are nursing homes for elderly people. Is there anything similar for dogs?

Those of you who offered advice, I thank you. Those of you who started judging me, stop being so politically correct and try to offer some advice. Shame on you. You didn't have to deal with this dog for the past 14 years. You're not in my shoes. I could have gotten rid of him years ago, but I chose to continue taking care of him.


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## JulieK1967 (May 29, 2011)

Man, I feel badly for this poor dog. I wish you had rehomed him years ago. You don't love this dog. You barely tolerate him. Shame on YOU.


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## dogowner1975 (Aug 5, 2014)

Please close this thread. Obviously, I'm not getting any advice here. What a useless forum with bunch of people who think dog's life is more important than human's. Moderator, please shut down this thread.


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## ForTheLoveOfDogs (Jun 3, 2007)

dogowner1975 said:


> Please close this thread. Obviously, I'm not getting any advice here. What a useless forum with bunch of people who think dog's life is more important than human's. Moderator, please shut down this thread.


First of all, you are wrong. Most people put human life over dog life here on this forum, including myself. Don't forget just because these people haven't been in your shoes, doesn't mean they haven't been in difficult situations where they worked through. My family lived inside a cat urine house for 14 years because our cat peed on things. I understand the embarrassment. Many people on this forum have dealt with serious dog issues. You have to realize it could be much worse. 

As someone with anxiety and depression, I even understand not wanting any extra burden. I will commend you for not just dumping your dog at a shelter (and no there are no old dog retirement homes). I will say, that this is a bad attitude to have. I'm guessing you live in America - where we dump old people into nursing home because caring for them is a burden. Well, when you get a dog you commit to the lifetime of the dog. For better for worse. You have to stop being "woah is me" and just.. learn to love the unlovable. It's not a feeling.. it is a choice. You have to make that choice. Your dog is old and senile, but you are all they have. 

I know some nasty old Shih Tzus, so I'm not going to deny your dog may be poorly bred to begin with (especially with the bad skin and ears). The house training stuff is all lack of training on your part.. but try a Belly band or doggie diapers. I agree with changing foods to something grain free. Definitely not Blue though.. they aren't known for being the most honest company. 

Just.. try to love your dog for the little time it has left. If you really can't take it.. well.. I won't really judge euthanasia. Just remember that all animals get old, including you. Please don't get another unless you are prepared for the same thing.

Edit - And if you do euth.. make sure you are there with him in his final moments. The least you can do is be there for that.


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## BostonBullMama (Apr 20, 2013)

dogowner1975 said:


> Please close this thread. Obviously, I'm not getting any advice here. What a useless forum with bunch of people who think dog's life is more important than human's. Moderator, please shut down this thread.


Dogs life is more important than a humans?
So you came here to justify euthanising your dog then. You came here hoping we'd all say "Oh.. yea it's time"

Okay - I'll bite.
It's time, definitely. It's been time for a while now, probably since the dog was about 3 months old. It's time to rehome him, and it's long overdue. Rehome him to someone who will take on his medical problems - the skin and ears can be caused by the food he's eating, switch to grain free with a fish based protein and see how he does on that for a while. 
The pooping in the house could be a sign of incontinence, or something parasitic, or even soreness in joints - this can be resolved with a vet visit and some medication. 
His aggression, marking, and otherwise undesirable behaviours could have actually been trained out of him at a young age, but seem to have instead gone somewhat overlooked leaving you with resentment. 

Blue Buffalo is a crap food, stay away from anything highly commercialised, vets recommend it because it's their job to recommend the foods their sponsors make. 

No, there is no such thing as a nursing home for dogs (at least not in my area). 

You've clearly already made your decision and you're waiting for someone to justify it for you - if this dog is otherwise healthy, I see no reason to have it euthanised simply because the medical problems are too overwhelming for you.



Signed; A pet owner currently housing a 9 year old cat who pee's/poops on her wood diningroom table DAILY.


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

One of my early dogs as an adult was this little poodle somebody dumped in a parking lot. She was about 200 years old - seriously, I don't know. She was completely deaf, stone blind, had dry eyes that had gone untreated (seriously? It was gross), had no teeth, some mammary tumors and her knees didn't bend at all. I had to convince the people who had picked her up not to put her asleep. I mean, on paper she sounds like her quality of life was kind of crap. The thing is, she was the sweetiest, happiest, most joyful little bit of dog in the world. She loved getting in a warm, deep tub and 'swimming' (while held/supported). We played 'find it' games with her nose, because she could find food ANYWHERE and get into any kind of container to get to it. She would keep her nose pressed against your ankle and follow you around - or stop following you and go off following her nose to 'explore'. Her nubbin tail NEVER stopped wagging, and if you touched her you were in for a tongue bath. She'd gum chews and bones with determination and enthusiasm and she just... loved life and everyone and everything in it.

She only lived about 6 months with us, but that little dog was one of the most satisfying, rewarding, BEST, dog experiences I've ever had. Was she work? Yes. Did she pee in the house, smell funny and look kind of gross? Yes. Was she expensive? You better believe it. Would I change a thing? No.

And that's not counting dogs I've had for their whole lives, from start to finish.

So my real advice to you?

Don't get more pets. Love this one if you can, try to make him comfortable and be patient with him; he won't be around for all that much longer. If you can't, try to rehome him. If you can't do that, then yeah, euth the poor thing. Rehome the other dog you mentioned in your intro post here, too. Dogs get old. They smelly funny, they get leaky, they require special care. It happens to every dog fortunate enough not to die young. When you bring a dog into your family you do so for the life of the dog - or until the *dog's* suffering (not yours) makes the kindest thing to let them go. If you can't do that, then don't bother. Because seriously? It happens to EVERY dog. It's not like getting old is a surprise.


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## Kayla_Nicole (Dec 19, 2012)

Eenypup said:


> I'm not sure what type of advice you're looking for here? Euthanasia is not meant to be an option to rid you of the responsibilities of an aging dog. You've had him for 14 years and now don't care enough about him and just want him out of the house? Dogs spend their whole lives loving no one but us and really can only hope we'll put a little extra effort into them when they're older.
> 
> My mom's dog is 12 years old and has a myriad of health problems that cause my family money every day, but we can't bear the thought of having to put him down until he's not enjoying his life anymore. How inconvenient his schedule is or the fact that he needs a little more time devoted to him because he's old is not at all factored in. You should be cherishing your dog while you have time with him. If it's a quality of life issue for the dog himself I'd discuss options with a vet. But you kind of just sound like you don't care about the dog. Poor thing.


Totally agree with all of this. 

Have you tried cleaning his ears at home yourself on a regular basis? They make all natural, gentle ear cleaners that can help keep infections at bay. How would you like to live with chronic ear infections? I'm sure it makes him miserable. 

Have you switched his food to hopefully find something that is better for his digestive system that perhaps he won't throw up? 

And I agree. Just put some blankets or towels over his bed and wash those. You don't have to keep throwing away his bed. 

A new, high quality food could also help with the dandruff, as could a gentle, soothing shampoo.

I hope when you get old your family doesn't abandon you because you smell funny and they don't enjoy you anymore.


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

When dogs or other pets or people get sick and old it is a lot of work and it is not often fun. But that is a thing you sign on for when you take home a pet. When my mom was sick she couldn't go to the bathroom by herself, she needed supervision 24/7, and needed help doing anything at all. But you do it because you love them. Yes it is stressful. But nonetheless it is your duty. 

Towards the end you weigh the dog's quality of life and make a decision on what is best for the dog. Not what is most convenient.


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## WonderBreadDots (Jun 26, 2012)

dogowner1975 said:


> Really, I'm not a bad person. I love my dog. He's a 14 year old lhasa apso. I've had him since he was a 3 month old puppy. My kids grew up with him. He was always well taken care of. I don't want to sound mean, but I'm getting really tired of him.
> 
> He always had chronic ear infections. Those of you who dealt with this before, know the smell. I took him to the vet and he did an ear flush, which cost $500 including the meds. That helped, but only for a month. A month later, it all came back again. I did it again. It helped, but again, it lasted only a month. The vet said since the dog is so old, he doesn't want to give him anesthesia anymore, because he's afraid he won't wake up from it. So ear flushes are no longer an option. I have a small house, so once you walk in, you can smell his ears immediately. I can't have friends or family over.
> 
> ...


When people are really sick and at the end of their life, their at home caregivers can use a thing called respite care. Usually, the sick person can be placed in a nursing home for a few days, then return back to the caregiver. This is in place so they don't feel overwhelmed and start making poor choices for the person they are caring for, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Is there somewhere you can send the dog for a day or two? 

If the dogs quality of life is suffering because of their ailments, euthanasia may be the answer. The dog is 14 and if it has had a lifetime of problems may be near the end of his life. You do what you need to do. Clearly you have cared for the dog all these years and brought him this far with his problems. 

Sorry.


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## Kyle071785 (Nov 28, 2013)

JulieK1967 said:


> Man, I feel badly for this poor dog. I wish you had rehomed him years ago. You don't love this dog. You barely tolerate him. Shame on YOU.


Agreed. Sorry but I have to agree that it sounds as though the dog wasn't wanted from the start and no real training was ever put in place from a young age so the behaviour got worse as they went along. I too feel sorry for the dog. Dogs are how they are because of their upbringing...if the dog was miserable, I truly think you (OP) must have been a joy to live around as well


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## Kyle071785 (Nov 28, 2013)

dogowner1975 said:


> Please close this thread. Obviously, I'm not getting any advice here. What a useless forum with bunch of people who think dog's life is more important than human's. Moderator, please shut down this thread.





ForTheLoveOfDogs said:


> First of all, you are wrong. *Most people put human life over dog life here on this forum, including myself. Don't forget just because these people haven't been in your shoes, doesn't mean they haven't been in difficult situations where they worked through.* My family lived inside a cat urine house for 14 years because our cat peed on things. I understand the embarrassment. Many people on this forum have dealt with serious dog issues. You have to realize it could be much worse.


Exactly. Our family Bouvier when I was growing up was old and full of cancer. Constantly sick and bleeding but we still cherished every day until it was time for her to go. She was loved until the very end and she knew it regardless of either the personal or financial hardships she put the family through. 

Dogs improve the quality of our lives and only ask for our love from the beginning. I'll always be a person who lives for my dog regardless of the situation.


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## Kyle071785 (Nov 28, 2013)

BostonBullMama said:


> Signed; A pet owner currently housing a 9 year old cat who pee's/poops on her wood diningroom table DAILY.



But...those are "I love you" poops...right?!


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## Emmett (Feb 9, 2013)

The Wooden Bowl
_A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table, but the elderly man’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor, and, when he picked up his glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about father,” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his noisy eating, spilled milk, and food on the floor.”

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner together. And, since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

Occasionally, the family would glance in Grandfather’s direction during a meal and see a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions whenever he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The couple’s four-year-old watched all of this in silence. One evening before supper the father noticed his son sitting on the floor, playing with scraps of wood. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “I’m making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The boy smiled and went back to work.

The child’s words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Within moments tears were streaming down their cheeks. Though not a word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening, as the family was about to sit down to dinner, the husband gently took his father’s hand and led him to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And, for some reason, neither the husband nor the wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth was soiled._

Remember, how we treat and view animals is directly related to how we treat and view other people. Also, remember the lessons you are teaching your children with your actions and words.


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## BostonBullMama (Apr 20, 2013)

Kyle071785 said:


> But...those are "I love you" poops...right?!


Well of course!  haha 
I have been told by family to euthanise her, but aside from her hips going (which is why she's peeing/pooping - she gets up on the table and then gets "stuck" but that's where their food is otherwise the dog eats it....) she's completely healthy and I'd rather clean my table every morning than not have her greeting me in the bathroom with a happy shrill.


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

A lot of the time I wish we could see the post from the dog's point of view. This is not one of those times. Poor old dog.


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## Kayota (Aug 14, 2009)

spotted nikes said:


> Try going to a grain free alternative protein food. Many times ear infections and skin issues are caused by food allergies. It is VERY common for them to present that way. Try Taste of the Wild High prairie formula.
> Give him a bath with microtek anti itch shampoo. You can get it online. It is antifungal and will help with the skin issues.
> 
> Get a toddler mattress pad to put on his bed where he is throwing up. Or adult incontinence bed pads, which are disposable.
> ...





BostonBullMama said:


> Well of course!  haha
> I have been told by family to euthanise her, but aside from her hips going (which is why she's peeing/pooping - she gets up on the table and then gets "stuck" but that's where their food is otherwise the dog eats it....) she's completely healthy and I'd rather clean my table every morning than not have her greeting me in the bathroom with a happy shrill.


well yyour family thinks you should euth Toby because he has a ccouple lumps sso I wouldnt put much stock in what they think lol


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## BellaPup (Jul 7, 2007)

This is exactly the reason so many elderly dogs die in shelters. It makes me sick. 

And yea - I'm judging you. You sign up on a dog forum - filled with dog LOVERS - tell us you've basically hated the dog for 14 years (or hated the responsibility of needing to CARE for YOUR dog), and now that the dog is old and frail you are treating it like a piece of garbage that is smelling up your house. And you want advice without being judged?? Not how it works, hun.

That poor dog should have been rehomed 14 years ago to someone who actually cared and could make a lifetime commitment without being a selfish little baby. 

Want some advice? Grow up.


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## BernerMax (Mar 15, 2013)

Emmett said:


> The Wooden Bowl
> _A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
> 
> The family ate together at the table, but the elderly man’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor, and, when he picked up his glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
> ...


Well said......


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## mcdavis (May 1, 2012)

I actually doubt that the OP will be back because they don't seem to have got the answers they wanted, however

I can't help with the ear infections because I don't have any experience but others here have made some good suggestions. It sounds like these aren't new, and if the poor dog has suffered with ear infections for a long time it could be one of the reasons the dog has been "aggressive".

There are dog beds you can get which have washable / waterproof covers, or try putting a towel / blanket over the top.

Candles / incense will help with smells, as will enzymatic cleaners, although getting to the root of the problem (allergies or ??) is the best option.

I think a lot depends on how you approach things. I'd guess that most, if not all, of the problems you are facing have been faced by a lot of people on here, and there are solutions out there - it may just take some time to find them.


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## Effisia (Jun 20, 2013)

Don't get more pets, that's my advice. 

This makes me so mad I could spit. Especially that "he's always been awful and I never really liked him. I could have gotten rid of him before, but I didn't. I'm such a SAINT for dealing with this for AGES" attitude. Disgusting.


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## Kyndall54 (Apr 26, 2013)

I agree with cptjack, you should have rehomed the dog at 3 months if you didn't get along. i love all of my animals to pieces. i will literally put up with their sh*t, because i love them and i they make my life more enjoyable. you have to expect things to get dirty having pets. honestly, that's just the way it is. Ammy, Message, China, and Russ will all get old one day. I will still love them even if they're frail and failing. I'm sorry you never had that kind of bond with your dog. i'm sorry you had different expectations from a dog. 

as management options, some people have already had great suggestions. also- you could try doggie diapers. you could buy a steam cleaner. you could keep him confined to one area (like the kitchen) with a baby gate so he doesn't mess up the rest of the house.


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

I'm inclined to cut the OP a little slack because you don't own and care for a dog for 14 yrs, and pay vet bills for him, buy him new beds monthly, if you are a bad person. It's far more likely that the person is reaching a breaking point with trying to cope with having an elderly dog that seems to not be enjoying life, and trying to live in a smelly house with the aforementioned dog. He could have dumped the dog at a shelter or just put him down if he was truly uncaring. It may be that the wife or kids wanted the dog originally, but the kids are grown, and it sounds like it is falling to him, to clean up after him, pay the vet bills etc. I think the sarcasm/tone heard in the OP is one of frustration and an attempt at humor/sarcasm. Nothing is gained by being nasty to the OP. Suggestions would be good.


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## petpeeve (Jun 10, 2010)

dogowner1975 said:


> Please close this thread. Obviously, I'm not getting any advice here. What a useless forum with bunch of people who think dog's life is more important than human's. Moderator, please shut down this thread.


This, to me, is very telling.

I can clearly see a parallel between the feelings you have for your dog, and your feelings toward this forum and its members.

Fact is, you're way off the mark in all regards.


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## LuvMyAngels (May 24, 2009)

On the off chance OP is still reading...if not, for others that may be researching because their pet has a similar issue.

The first thought that comes to mind with a dog that is suffering from chronic ear infections and skin conditions...change his diet. Grain free and preferably a protein he has never had. Read the ingredient list on EVERYTHING he might get a bite of. Honestly, at first, I'd say stick to ONLY his food...no treats, no chews, and absolutely no people food. You'll also have to deal with any current infections. Ears will need to be medicated and cleaned. For his skin, bathe with an antimicrobial shampoo (microtek was already mentioned, its a great one). It will take several baths to get rid of any infection going on in his skin. 

I'd be grumpy, snappy and aggressive if my ears always hurt and my whole body itched. Cant blame the dog for that!

Many here care for pets with special needs. Its expensive, time consuming, a lot of work...and often really gross. When we make the choice to bring a pet into our homes, into our lives, we make the commitment to be responsible for whatever care they need for their lifetime. I live with a 154lb Saint Bernard (he's a house dog) with food and environmental allergies. This means regular baths every 1-6 weeks (often a 3 hour process since he can not be left wet without the risk of skin infections), special food ($50 for 30lbs that lasts a whole 3 1/2 weeks). Sometimes it means cleaning wounds, cleaning up liquid diarrhea or vomit. His special needs have cost me multiple nights sleep due to being up to care for him, clean up any mess he'd make or just worrying over him. He is worth every minute and every penny. I would happily live this way for the rest of my life if it meant Buster would be with me...


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## Eenypup (Mar 21, 2014)

I find it funny that people think they can post a disclaimer on an open forum basically saying: "Don't post unless you agree with me and will tell me what I want to hear!" That's not how it works. 

I agree the best advice would be to not get any more pets. Sounds like you put no training into the dog and therefore resented him his whole life, and now are doing him a huge disservice in his elderly years. Wish you had rehomed him sooner. There are a lot of bad situations for dogs, and I'd say being in a home his whole life where no one loves him at all is pretty sad.


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## MrsBoats (May 20, 2010)

spotted nikes said:


> I'm inclined to cut the OP a little slack because you don't own and care for a dog for 14 yrs, and pay vet bills for him, buy him new beds monthly, if you are a bad person. It's far more likely that the person is reaching a breaking point with trying to cope with having an elderly dog that seems to not be enjoying life, and trying to live in a smelly house with the aforementioned dog. He could have dumped the dog at a shelter or just put him down if he was truly uncaring. It may be that the wife or kids wanted the dog originally, but the kids are grown, and it sounds like it is falling to him, to clean up after him, pay the vet bills etc. I think the sarcasm/tone heard in the OP is one of frustration and an attempt at humor/sarcasm. Nothing is gained by being nasty to the OP. Suggestions would be good.


I think I agree with this...I think there is a breaking point that is getting reached in the OP. I was once there with a 17 year old cat who had hypothyroid issues and renal failure. I'll never have another cat in my home after him. My first rottweiler in his late stage Cushings Disease flooded our home with urine if you left him alone for more than 2 hours. We did try to contain him in x-pens and pee pads, but his movement would wad the pads in a ball and he would flood our kitchen floor with urine. I wasn't sleeping more than 2 hours at a time at night because poor Sam had to go outside and pee buckets. I became unglued more than a couple times from being unable to sleep, my work was suffering because I couldn't be gone from the house longer than a couple of hours, and he refused to eat so he lost an incredible amount of weight...he was skin and bones. I was waiting for some one to report me for starving my dog if he was seen in public. He had a spleen tumor too that with his condition, they couldn't operate on it. We let him go when we realized the tumor had ruptured and he was bleeding internally. That went on for almost two years. I loved that dog with all of my heart...but it was an incredible relief when it was finally all over. I would never wish Cushings that wasn't well controlled on anyone...it was truly awful for our dog and for us to live with. After Sam was gone...it took months for us to get rid of the urine smell that permeated the house. 

I think the OP really should have an honest discussion with his vet about the quality of life for his dog. Everyone told me that I would know when it was time to let a pet go...and I did. Sam was clear about that it was time. The best way that I heard was to make a list of 5 to 10 things your dog used to be able to do (like potty on their own, etc.) or really liked to do and enjoyed. If they can't do those 5 to 10 things anymore, maybe it's time to say good bye.


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## gingerkid (Jul 11, 2012)

spotted nikes said:


> I'm inclined to cut the OP a little slack because you don't own and care for a dog for 14 yrs, and pay vet bills for him, buy him new beds monthly, if you are a bad person. It's far more likely that the person is reaching a breaking point with trying to cope with having an elderly dog that seems to not be enjoying life, and trying to live in a smelly house with the aforementioned dog. He could have dumped the dog at a shelter or just put him down if he was truly uncaring. It may be that the wife or kids wanted the dog originally, but the kids are grown, and it sounds like it is falling to him, to clean up after him, pay the vet bills etc. I think the sarcasm/tone heard in the OP is one of frustration and an attempt at humor/sarcasm. Nothing is gained by being nasty to the OP. Suggestions would be good.


Well, that suggests that the dog belongs to the OP and ONLY the OP... but it sounds like there are other family/household members involved who may be reluctant to let the OP have the dog PTS simply because the dog is old and smelly.

I dunno. I guess I just feel like if you have to state that you're not a bad person then... maybe you should reevaluate.


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## So Cavalier (Jul 23, 2010)

As someone who suffers from chronic pain, there are days when I am in a really crap mood. All of the suggestions I would have made have been made, ie changing the diets, working on the skin issues. Remember an elderly dog may also have vision issues and hearing loss, especially with chronic ear infections. He probably has joint pain also. I would suggest pain medication. My dream is for all my dogs to live well into their teens.



> I agree the best advice would be to not get any more pets. Sounds like you put no training into the dog and therefore resented him his whole life, and now are doing him a huge disservice in his elderly years. Wish you had rehomed him sooner. There are a lot of bad situations for dogs, and I'd say being in a home his whole life where no one loves him at all is pretty sad.


Yep


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## sassafras (Jun 22, 2010)

Ear infections so bad they make your house stink don't happen overnight, or even over weeks, or even months. Probably more like years of not being addressed adequately. 

Having said that, what's done is done and ear infections so bad they make a house stink fall under "causing suffering" to me. You're not going to fix them with a grain free diet or drops or anything "easy" at this stage, and short of surgery there may not BE a fix. IMO I'd say euthanasia would be a very valid and humane option for this dog at this stage of the game.


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## Inga (Jun 16, 2007)

So Cavalier said:


> As someone who suffers from chronic pain, there are days when I am in a really crap mood. All of the suggestions I would have made have been made, ie changing the diets, working on the skin issues. Remember an elderly dog may also have vision issues and hearing loss, especially with chronic ear infections. He probably has joint pain also. I would suggest pain medication. My dream is for all my dogs to live well into their teens.


As someone else who is a chronic pain sufferer, I understand. It is bad enough to have pain for a day or so but every day gets hard to smile much. I force myself to be cheery and refuse to dump my crap on others BUT a dog doesn't have a choice. I also suffered from ear infections as a child and they HURT. Try this....
16 oz. bottle isopropyl alcohol (or witch hazel)
4 tablespoons Boric Acid Powder
16 drops Gentian Violet 1% Solution 

Pour some in to fill the ear canal, gently massage and then let him shake (best to do this outside) Do it daily for about 7-10 days and then weekly. I might also consider a a change of food. Try a limited ingredient food something without all the dyes and such. I also agree that it is time for some pain meds and possibly some joint supplement. If things do not improve for him in a month or so... maybe it is time to let him go. Living in pain beyond all reasonable care is no longer for the dogs sake. I hope he can get some good quality of life yet. Good luck to you.


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## Kudzu (Aug 15, 2013)

I can understand why the dog is angry......


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## Greater Swiss (Jun 7, 2011)

spotted nikes said:


> I'm inclined to cut the OP a little slack because you don't own and care for a dog for 14 yrs, and pay vet bills for him, buy him new beds monthly, if you are a bad person. It's far more likely that the person is reaching a breaking point with trying to cope with having an elderly dog that seems to not be enjoying life, and trying to live in a smelly house with the aforementioned dog. He could have dumped the dog at a shelter or just put him down if he was truly uncaring. It may be that the wife or kids wanted the dog originally, but the kids are grown, and it sounds like it is falling to him, to clean up after him, pay the vet bills etc. I think the sarcasm/tone heard in the OP is one of frustration and an attempt at humor/sarcasm. Nothing is gained by being nasty to the OP. Suggestions would be good.


 I do agree with you here, but I can't really blame others for their rather shocked and disgusted reactions. It is my initial reaction as well, but you are completely right Spotted Nikes. 

I personally have no problem with people who don't want to be around sick, old, smelly dogs, and don't want to deal with that, BUT it is the somewhat inevitable outcome of having a pet, they get old, they get sick (sometimes when they aren't even old!). My problem is when people who have that sentiment in the first place HAVE dogs, that will inevitably decline. Having a dog goes long beyond puppyhood and their active years (and there is a HUGE percentage of the average dog owner that doesn't seem to understand that until it happens). 

My advice, OP, if you do happen to come back or read any of this. The decision to euthanize your dog is a personal one. If you don't want the dog around any more, its health is failing badly, AND it can't be rehomed (and I don't mean dropping off at the shelter....), then I couldn't blame you for euthanizing. I feel bad that you are obviously so frustrated with this dog, and I hope that at some time during its life you did have a bond with it. My biggest advice is this: Do not get another pet, especially a dog, in the future unless you know you will love and care for it, and can look back on this experience and know that you are willing and able to go through it again (with more grace I would hope....no offence meant) with the pet you contemplate getting. If you aren't willing to, that IS completely fine, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to go through with it so long as you can admit that. Some people don't do pets, which is completely ok, so long as no animal suffers through the person pretending that they are. Good luck with your decision OP, I think I know what it will be.


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## aussiegirl6 (Mar 16, 2013)

God bless you for seeking help and solace from others. One of the worst thing is being overwhelmed in this world with the stresses of life. For you to come here asking for help, suggestions and positive feed back tells me you are not a bad person at all. I have been a senior care giver and nurse for over 35 years, fostered dogs for 15 years. One thing I know is that you have to step back from the situation, get a dog sitter that can groom your dog for you. I have been through all you mentioned and then some. I carried my one dog up and down back steps to get her outside to pee every 2 hours. It is stressful and I still work full time. 

You need help. Do you have a good groomer? A neighbor child that would love to bath your dog with tea tree shampoo? Get pure homeopathic tea tree oil called Veterinary Best shampoo,. Love the smell when they dry and it soothes their skin too with aloe. 
I agree about the food, something is making your dog allergic, as we get older this happens. I can no longer wear perfumes I used to love. Usually it is chemical allergies. What do you clean the floors with? The dog lays on the floor, licks their paws and sniffs the floors. Start using vinegar and a tablespoon of dawn in a bucket of water. 
What do you wash your dog linens with ? The chemical fragrances in laundry detergent is appalling and the lays in it.
Google earthclinic.com and search for home remedies that won't rob your pocket and be safe for you and the pet to use. 
Hope it helps.


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## aussiegirl6 (Mar 16, 2013)

This fellow came for help in another post and noone answered him. He had to sound like this cry for help and now he is being condemned. Shame, Shame, on the compassion shown to this fellow in a time of need. Go back and look at his other post, he had ZERO replies for his cry of help before. 

dogowner1975
dogowner1975 is offline
Junior Member

Join Date
Aug 2014
Posts
4	

Hello everyone

_* Hello everyone,

I own two dogs... a lhasa apso and a pom. Just looking for some guidance on how to deal with an old and sick lhasa apso. *_*
*


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## Kyle071785 (Nov 28, 2013)

aussiegirl6 said:


> This fellow came for help in another post and noone answered him. He had to sound like this cry for help and now he is being condemned. Shame, Shame, on the compassion shown to this fellow in a time of need. Go back and look at his other post, he had ZERO replies for his cry of help before.
> 
> dogowner1975
> dogowner1975 is offline
> ...


He made this thread an hour and change after that intro thread. Also, to be quite honest, barely anyone responds to those mandatory intro threads :wink:


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

IF the OP had posted in the health forum looking for guidance on how to deal with an old sick dog, he would have gotten a ton of advice. Instead he comes in griping about how much he hates his dog and always has so would someone please tell him it's OK to kill him now? It's a teensy bit different. So sorry, I can't work up any sympathy (for the OP. . .for the dog, tons ).


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## Remaru (Mar 16, 2014)

We are in the end stages of Duke's life. It sucks. He has moments where I am so angry I just....I don't know. Yeah I'm a neat freak and it bothers me that he is slobbering everywhere because he is stressed, doesn't know where he is and now he has a big lump on the side of his face (we assume it is cancer, at this point with everything else there is no point getting it biopsied). I hate that he barks and wakes us all up in the middle of the night, who wouldn't? You know what I hate the most though? That I assumed he would be with us until he was at least 15 and he is only 8. My youngest is heartbroken his best friend doesn't remember him from day to day and can't play with him anymore. Despite all of that he says to me "Duke will be able to be at my birthday party right." Duke won't be at his party. It is a matter of weeks now. He is only half eating and getting sick more and more often, you can smell the sickness on him. I can't trust him at all anymore. We are putting it off because we can't stand to do it. I can understand the frustration, taking care of a sick or older animal can be stressful particularly if you have a small house or are a neat freak. However I can't imagine thinking it isn't worth it.


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## fourdogs (Feb 3, 2014)

Maybe this person wrote this post out of emotion- caregiver's fatigue, if you will? 

OP, Google "wonder ear." It's a powder made by Chantilly Kennels. You clean the ears with wintergreen alcohol and then follow the instructions for using the powder throughout the week. It's around 20 bucks and much cheaper than vet visits. I've used it for ear issues for years and it clears them right up. 

Secondly, the ears/skin sounds like it could be a food allergy. What is she eating now? Try something like Fromm 4-star grain free. It is spendy, yes, but if it offsets the cost of going to the vet, it's worth a try. Do a very gradual food switch, especially if she's been eating something low-quality from the grocery store. 

Third- 14 is really old for a lhasa. The random pooping in the house could be a nerve/spinal issue, not uncommon in these long-backed breeds. You can try massage (you can do at home) or possibly even chiropractic. 

If she's grouchy at everyone, it's likely she doesn't feel good. There is probably some pain somewhere (ears, definitely, back probably) that could be managed better with something as simple as aspirin (there are dog aspirins available even at petsmart). 

I took care of my grouchy old dog (minpin) and the last year of his life was a lot of work, it's true, and I did tire of having to care for his every need. BUT, I committed to take care of this dog for better or worse. 

That said... judge his quality of life. It seems poor. And if it's poor and he's hurting well, sometimes it's kinder to let them go.


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## souffoue (Jul 7, 2014)

BellaPup said:


> This is exactly the reason so many elderly dogs die in shelters. It makes me sick.
> 
> And yea - I'm judging you. You sign up on a dog forum - filled with dog LOVERS - tell us you've basically hated the dog for 14 years (or hated the responsibility of needing to CARE for YOUR dog), and now that the dog is old and frail you are treating it like a piece of garbage that is smelling up your house. And you want advice without being judged?? Not how it works, hun.
> 
> ...


Honest brutal truth that I agree with. I might have had a different opinion if the OP hadn't basically said that he's always hated the dog, for 14 years. Saddens me to think of how that dog's 14 years have been.


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## parus (Apr 10, 2014)

Personally I think as a dog owner, you owe the dog an honest attempt to get the skin/ears issues cleared up (change in food, therapeutic cleaning and bathing, and working with a vet). Of course the dog is behaving unpleasantly; it is suffering. If it does not work, then it's time to do a quality of life analysis (of the DOG'S quality of life) and if the animal is not getting pleasure out of life, it is time to think of euthanasia. 

All of these health and behavioral problems should have been addressed ages ago. I empathize with the difficulty of keeping a geriatric dog, but you are kind of reaping what you've sown now.


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## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

Emmett said:


> The Wooden Bowl
> _A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
> 
> The family ate together at the table, but the elderly man’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor, and, when he picked up his glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
> ...


Omg. No words thru my tears.


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## InkedMarie (Mar 11, 2009)

For the OP! I have to say I agree with Sassafras. Your dog has had issues for sometime but right now, I don't think there's anything you will do to help.


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## aussiegirl6 (Mar 16, 2013)

WOW, I should thank the OP for this thread because it brought so many wonderful people out to post information for me to reference. I can't mention any single post, but many here have helped me with my issues. THANKS! Your kindness was appreciated.


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## aussiegirl6 (Mar 16, 2013)

spotted nikes said:


> I'm inclined to cut the OP a little slack because you don't own and care for a dog for 14 yrs, and pay vet bills for him, buy him new beds monthly, if you are a bad person. It's far more likely that the person is reaching a breaking point with trying to cope with having an elderly dog that seems to not be enjoying life, and trying to live in a smelly house with the aforementioned dog. He could have dumped the dog at a shelter or just put him down if he was truly uncaring. It may be that the wife or kids wanted the dog originally, but the kids are grown, and it sounds like it is falling to him, to clean up after him, pay the vet bills etc. I think the sarcasm/tone heard in the OP is one of frustration and an attempt at humor/sarcasm. Nothing is gained by being nasty to the OP. Suggestions would be good.


 I had adopted an Aussie out and the owner called me and had the nerve to tell me he beat her and threw her across the room for chewing his sunglasses and shoes. My initial response was to slap the crap out of him and kick him in the nuts, but, I knew, my priority was to get the dog out of harms way. So I had him take her to my vets office and leave her there on neutral territory. After I got her back, I reported him to animal control, who could do nothing, but I also reported him to all the pet stores so they would never let him adopt another dog.
Well what ever help we could have given for the DOGS sake is for naught, because people did not think of the dog when posting instead, they passed judgement. None of us have all the answers but maybe one of you could have been the help he needed. There was some good posting here and some of them I will use for myself to care for my pets. so thank you.
Was it really necessary to condemn this person for seeking help for the dog? Now we have lost him and the ability to help, as he WAS a frustrated care giver, and not everyone has a support system. Some had the right idea in this regard, and were spot on. It is hard sometimes to tolerate the aging person or pet, and he just needed support and would have gotten some good information for the poor old dog, himself, and his family as it sounds like it was all on him. 

I pray for God to take all these little angles so that they will be happy souls in heaven where on earth them might not have been all the time.


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## doggiepop (Feb 27, 2014)

to the OP: oyur dog is old and sickly. take your dog to the Vet and personally take the best care of your dog. i suggest sticking
out to the end. you owe that much to your dog.


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