# My dog stares at me . . . what does it mean?



## Thracian

I've read several times that dogs don't like it when you look them in the eye, that they are intimidated by a stare down. So it confuses me that Cupid often stares at me. He won't look away when I meet his gaze. Sometimes (often?) when he stares, I'm sure he just wants me to throw the ball (he's a fetchaholic).

Let me add that Cupid is a bit fearful, and definitely won't make eye contact with other people, so conventional wisdom about not looking them in the eye definitely applies there. I'm just a little puzzled by his willingness to meet my eyes so often.

Anyone else have dogs who stare at them?


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## waterbaby

My dog will, but it's something that I actually reward and encourage. I don't know if she would do it on her own.

I've heard the same as you that dogs become uncomfortable when you look at them directly, but then I also had a trainer tell me that eye contact can be hugely rewarding. I should have asked her about that.


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## Thracian

I don't really encourage or discourage it. I'm fine with it. It just puzzles me because I've heard so much about how dogs don't like to look people in the eyes.


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## emily445455

My dogs will stare at me when they want to go outside or want what I'm eating  I think it's just bad to look an unknown, aggressive, or scared dog in the eyes.


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## Elana55

Build on this. Seriously. A dog that will focus onyou can be taught so very much. 

Because of his focus you can actually train your dog to do things by changing your facial expression (raising an eyebrow, smiling, etc.). 

Focus means she finds you more interesting than other things.. knows you will do something more interesting to her than other things around her (like that rewarding fetch game).


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## chrisn6104

From what I understand eye contact is different depending on the dog. In a dominate or aggressive dog eye contact may be what you're referring to. The first to look away is the one that give in. This would usually be the case with say a stray dog you picked up from the shelter perhaps or one that is more independent. A stare down is a form of contest until you become the "boss".

However in most cases when the dog is not being dominate or aggressive it is looking to you for something. Trying to get your attention or reading an emotion in your facial expression, or waiting for direction from you. Which is most likely what your dog is doing. In this case it's perfectly fine to make eye contact and should be something that is welcomed.


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## Dog_Shrink

A lot of times I notice in training, esp. leash handling that the handler's dog will look at them for reassurance or praise to make sure they're doing the right thing. Maybe he just wants you to acknowledge his existance. Does he bring a ball with him for these stare fests or just sitting and staring at you? I know that with a couple of my dogs that when they stare at me they need to go out and potty. A hound that we lost in august use to stare at my hubby (who's diabetic) when his numbers were off and she wouldn't budge until he got up and checked himself. maybe it's as simple as adoration... Next time it happens try to be a little more aware of the other external things, did you just get done cooking or eating shortly before it happens (like with in that hour), are you having your cycle (if you're a girl)? What was he doing right before he got up and stared at you? was there recently a play/work session ended (again with in an hour-ish) of it happening? Need more info.


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## emily445455

Oh, training your dog to look at you (in the eyes/general face area) can be a good technique for focusing. Most call it "watch me" or "watch".


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## Laurelin

Summer is a starer... like literally she will stare you (any you) down to the point it freaks a lot of people out. I find she is just very observant around people and very interested in them. I don't even notice anymore, I'm just so used to it but every other person that's lived with her (all my ex roomies, family, etc) mentions it often and how uncomfortable it makes them feel. I joke its a good thing she's not a doberman or something. Her quiet watchfulness and ability to stare a hole through someone would be really intimidating.


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## TxRider

Elana55 said:


> Build on this. Seriously. A dog that will focus onyou can be taught so very much.
> 
> Because of his focus you can actually train your dog to do things by changing your facial expression (raising an eyebrow, smiling, etc.).
> 
> Focus means she finds you more interesting than other things.. knows you will do something more interesting to her than other things around her (like that rewarding fetch game).


Yup taking me forever to get Hope to do that.


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## Curbside Prophet

Do you imagine hearts floating from his mind? If so, you've described what I like to observe in Elsa.


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## pittsabowawa

I don't think there is anything wrong with it unless the dog is showing signs of aggression when you meet his/her gaze.

Bella is pretty submissive so when our gazes meet she usually looks away pretty quick... making "watch me" very hard to teach. LOL I cant hardly tell when her gaze reaches mine sometimes


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## waterbaby

Thracian said:


> He won't look away when I meet his gaze. Sometimes (often?) when he stares, I'm sure he just wants me to throw the ball (he's a fetchaholic)....I'm just a little puzzled by his willingness to meet my eyes so often.


Another thought: brain-washing. throwtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheball...


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## .308

Is your fly open?


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## ruckusluvr

My dogs stare at me when i said a word they are familar with like "go" "car" etc in a sentance. they stare at me when they want to go outside too. that is the only thing the do to let me know they need to go out!
They also stare at me to wake me up! sounds crazy, but I can feel Ruckus staring at me, and i open my eyes and he is a foot away from my face staring with his tail wagging a thousand miles an hour! LOL


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## Cracker

Most domestic dogs who do not have fear issues are relatively comfortable making eye contact/extended eye contact with people they trust. It may not be a normal "dog" behaviour in the sense that dog to dog staring can be seen as a challenge but dogs have spent thousands of years learning to read US and part of that is watching our faces.

A good "watch" is a great thing for training and bonding work.

Check out this pic...this is Cracker's focus on me..


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## lucidity

Cadence stares at me ALL THE TIME! Usually he stares excitedly when I'm eating something (yeah, greedy puppy).. But sometimes he just stares.. and I feel weird staring back so I just talk to him (yeah, pretend like he can understand what I'm saying, lol) and then he cocks his head as if to say "hmm, I dunno what you're saying, I'm just gonna do this and look cute!".


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## Curbside Prophet

waterbaby said:


> Another thought: brain-washing. throwtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheball...


O. M. G. I woke up this morning on the couch, and I had no idea how I got there. But guess where I found my dog? Yup, that's right, sleeping in my bed. Do you think... No, it's not possible.


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## sagira

Curbside Prophet said:


> O. M. G. I woke up this morning on the couch, and I had no idea how I got there. But guess where I found my dog? Yup, that's right, sleeping in my bed. Do you think... No, it's not possible.


LOL You cracked me up!


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## Michiyo-Fir

Nia wil only stare intently at me if she wants something from me. For example shell stare at me sometimes if she wants to play or go outside to potty or something.


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## Thracian

> Build on this. Seriously. A dog that will focus onyou can be taught so very much.


Good point. He is pretty good with "watch me." I'll work on him with other things.



> Focus means she finds you more interesting than other things.. knows you will do something more interesting to her than other things around her (like that rewarding fetch game).


That's certainly true. In this respect, he's trained me.



> A lot of times I notice in training, esp. leash handling that the handler's dog will look at them for reassurance or praise to make sure they're doing the right thing.


This makes a lot of sense, because Cue is a fearful pup. When we are in unfamiliar situations, he definitely sticks close to me and checks in with me often. Reassurance is the perfect word for this.



> What was he doing right before he got up and stared at you? was there recently a play/work session ended (again with in an hour-ish) of it happening? Need more info.


I'll pay more attention in future. Yesterday when I noticed it, he had brought the ball to me and was waiting for me to notice he had dropped it. I know he does it at other times.



> Do you imagine hearts floating from his mind?


Sometimes. He's doing a bit of that right now, actually.



> throwtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballth rowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthro wtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowt heball...


This is a definite possibility with my little fetcher. 



> Is your fly open?


He's looking at my face, not my fly. LOL.



> Most domestic dogs who do not have fear issues are relatively comfortable making eye contact/extended eye contact with people they trust.


This makes sense. Cupid does have fear issues, though not with me.

Thanks, folks, for the comments. I appreciate the insight and opinions.


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## ThoseWordsAtBest

Definitely a great thing to have in a fearful dog! Jonas stares at me all the time and I reward it. It helps in situations where I need him to focus on me instead of getting overwhelmed or having a freak out. While we've been working with him we have guests stand side ways and face away from him, so he doesn't have to make eye contact with them until he's comfortable. Often faced by other people he'll turn his head sideways and avert his gaze.


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## Kyllobernese

It is amazing how your dog staring at you, wakes you up. Remmy is like clockwork, at six am he sits up in bed and stares at me and it wakes me up to see him sitting on the bed staring at me with his bright blue eyes. As soon as he sees me open my eyes, he leaps off the bed, ready for the day.

When I am on the computer too much according to him, he sits and stares at me until I have to get up and go for a walk with him and the other dogs, then he is happy to lie down and sleep for a while.


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## Laurelin

waterbaby said:


> Another thought: brain-washing. throwtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheballthrowtheball...


This I find is typically accompanied by a crouch lol. Mia gets very intense playing ball.


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## poodleholic

All my dogs stare at me to get my attention. Because they want something! lol


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## Elana55

poodleholic said:


> All my dogs stare at me to get my attention. Because they want something! lol


Yes. These are POODLES and if they had the vocal chords there is NO doubt in my mind they would just tell you and if you did not respond, they would tell you the consequences. If they had the Vocal chords and opposable thumbs.... well that would be REAL trouble.  

Anyone who has lived with a Poodle will start to believe dogs are nearly human.. or at least Poodles are.


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## HayleyMarie

Teagan stares alot. Even when she does not want something and she will not back down if you stare back. She is not agressive or anything so I dont worry about it too much. But I also find that she stares as well when we are in a training session ect...


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## Alex927

Elana55 said:


> Build on this. Seriously. A dog that will focus onyou can be taught so very much.
> 
> Because of his focus you can actually train your dog to do things by changing your facial expression (raising an eyebrow, smiling, etc.).
> 
> Focus means she finds you more interesting than other things.. knows you will do something more interesting to her than other things around her (like that rewarding fetch game).



yes I've heard this as well.

When I'm feeding Wade, I make him Sit and then "watch me" for several seconds beofer I put his food down.

Redeyre sent me a write up about Attention training a few months back when i first joined up on DF that has proven to be quite valuable.


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## poodleholic

Elana55 said:


> Yes. These are POODLES and if they had the vocal chords there is NO doubt in my mind they would just tell you and if you did not respond, they would tell you the consequences. If they had the Vocal chords and opposable thumbs.... well that would be REAL trouble.
> 
> Anyone who has lived with a Poodle will start to believe dogs are nearly human.. or at least Poodles are.


You've got that right! Sometimes I feel like I need to go back for an advanced degree . . .just to keep up! lol


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## Westhighlander

My dog stares at me sometimes. I believe she is trying to dominate me or maybe she needs to go to the bathroom.


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## Morganhorse2003

My Aussie, Blue, will literally look me straight in the eyes when i talk to him. Most people think its funny because is so intent when you start talking to him, like he is literally soaking in what you're saying. He also likes hugs lol.


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## KBLover

When Wally stares at me, it's usually:

-He's waiting for his next direction/what we are going to do next (during training)

-He's in "prey mode" and reading my next move (when I let him chase me around outside), he'll sometimes lie down or go into some "flat stance" - don't know how else to describe it.

-He needs something from me. To go out. To look at a hurt paw (he'll lift his paw up). To get something he can't reach (like his Kong if it rolls under something).

-He's scared. Must be the reassurance that someone else talked about. Also probably a "side effect" of the training we did earlier when he was much more fearful. I had him sit close and look at me - he'll do it now when something worries him. (Sometimes he'll paw me too - didn't teach him that)

-He wants to sleep in "his corner" of the room (there's a space between my computer desk and my tv stand he likes to curl up in) and is on his bed and I'm "in the way" by sitting at my computer.

-He's waiting for me to move from my computer chair - probably because he thinks it means I'm going to take him somewhere. (That's the stare you see in my avatar).


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## GypsyJazmine

I always figure they are waiting for me to break into spontaneous song & dance.


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## Nargle

Basil's ALWAYS staring at me, lol! I reward it every opportunity I get. He gets anxious in certain situations, so during those situations every time he looks at me, I'll have a very relaxed expression with soft eyes, which usually helps him relax a little. I notice his eyes will start to soften, too, and he'll have less tention in his forehead and jaws. He's very good at reading my expressions. 

I've noticed, though, that the time he stares at me MOST often, is when he's curled up looking as if he's about to fall asleep any second. I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV with him on the seat next to me, and I'll glance over and notice him staring at me. 10 minutes later I glance over again, and he's STILL staring at me, in the exact same position XD He also stares at my boyfriend in the same situation. Like CP said, I can almost see the hearts floating around, lol!


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## goldenret1994

i think that dogs can learn facial expressions that humans do. for example my dog stares at me dead in the eyes and i used to raise my eyebrows (just to see what she would do) a few months (and many eyebrow raising later) whenever i raise my eyebrows she does it too, or whenever i smile she will. she has also learned a few other things, like the way i sleep on my back now she will hop into bed with me (she shouldnt be in my bed so she waits until i fall asleep) and lay on her back and go to sleep. she is exactly like me in every way, we wake up the same way, we rough house around, we watch tv together, she is really my best friend in every way.


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## xxxxdogdragoness

There was this program a while ago on Nat Geo called "dog genius" where they did an experiment where three people were sitting in chairs in a line, one just had their eyes closed, one had a blind fold on & one looked straight ahead, eyes visible. When the dog was let into the room he went down the line & stopped T the person whose eyes were visible & open, they tried the same thing with different dogs & got the same result, they concluded that dogs look for our faces to see what we are feeling, it is an engrained desire to communicate with us.

As for cesar, I would take what he said with a grain of salt..... Unless I needed the number for a good dentist


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## Amaryllis

obarker said:


> I'd probably go with what Cesar Millan says and it has to do with determining dominance - the pack leader stuff. However, it's great to read some of dogs are mirroring human features. Love it. It would make a great youtube video.


Cesar's dominance stuff has long been debunked.

Muggsy had very human manners. He would look you in the eyes when you spoke to him just like a human does. I don't think it's a coincidence that Muggsy had such human manners and was so very bad with dogs.

Kabota has great dog manners and was pure appeasement behaviors and fear when I got him. It took me a good 2 months of working "look at me" to get Kabota to look at my face. Now he'll look at my face all the time, and even meet my gaze for a second or two. In fact, on walks when he sees something that concerns him, instead of trying to get away or hiding like he used to, he looks up at me. That took a lot of work.


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## itsjustmebre

My two stare at me all the time...funny thing is, I never really trained it. I think some dogs just enjoy watching their people  My two do it for nearly everything...when they want something, for reassurance, when I talk to them, sometimes they'll just sit and stare at me, or do what Nargle said Basil does, just curl up and stare at me while I'm watching TV...I think they might be studying my face? Or maybe they just like starring at me 

~IJMB


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## simbaiscool

I was kind of wondering the same thing. My dog just out of the blue stares at people, they don't even need to have food in their mouths. She doesn't do it in an aggressive manner what so ever. She just stares.... Also, another weird thing i catch her doing is staring at herself in the mirror and when she finally notice me looking at her she looks at me in the mirror. I'm not sure if its just her looking at the mirror for no reason, or if she's some superior race of dog. I'm seriously interested in what people have to say about this i want to know !


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## momtolabs

I love when Tank stares at me. He always has and it is very helpful. As said before Tank focuses on me so much he knows what all my facial expressions mean. He usually knows what Im going to ask before I say it also. It is neat in my opinion. Bentley doesn't stare at me unless he wants something. He kind of reminds me of a cat at times.


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