# Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?



## texasmomma (Oct 19, 2007)

My family and I adopted a boxer puppy several months ago. He's been a huge hand full and I feel like we've tried and tried to work with him. I've finally come to the conclusion that he's just not the right dog for us.

My kids have never really attached to him, they are actually encouraging me to find him a new home. My husband and I feel torn, because we feel like we've failed this dog and ourselves. I've started looking for a new home for him, with a family that would be perfect and make him happy. I've thought about keeping him and just trying harder, but I'm not sure that would be fair to our dog since nobody's formed a real bond with him.

I keep thinking this is one of those things where you either connect with your dog or not. Like dating somebody, you just know when it's time to call it quits. Yet, my family and I are still left with the feeling that we want a dog in our lives. Is that horrible?

Anyway, I just need some sort of outside, non-biased advice. Should I go with my gut and re-home my dog, should we keep him and try harder, should we get another dog?

BTW, I have owned a dog in the past that I absolutely loved and adored. So, I know what it feels like to have that perfect loving relationship with a dog.

Thanks!


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

Getting a dog is a huge adjustment. Getting a puppy is especially huge.

If the accomodations you have to make don't seem to be worth it, it was probably a bad idea in the first place and it might be best to rehome the pup. There are responsible ways to do that. (Running an ad in the paper is not one of them.)

I'm not going to add to any feelings of guilt you may already have, but getting a puppy is nothing like dating. You don't try it out (both with eyes wide open) and just move on if it doesn't work. If you do decide to end this relationship, I hope you will think long and hard before trying out another dog.

For what it's worth, I had serious second thoughts the very first night that we brought our new pup home. But those disappeared quickly and the adjustments we've all had to make are just part of the process.

I can't put myself in your shoes and I won't judge you, but your situation just makes me very sad for everyone involved.


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## texasmomma (Oct 19, 2007)

Thank you for you reply. I appreciate that you didn't "flag" me, I was afraid I was going to be attacked for asking this. I really am trying to do the right thing for both our dog and my family. I feel stuck in the middle and very stressed out.

I'm sorry if the dating comment seemed wrong. I am seriously confused at how you know you've picked the right dog? I think it makes it harder when adopting a puppy and it's personality hasn't been really established yet. My family and I wanted a boxer, found a puppy for sale, bought it, brought it home and things have gone down hill from there. For what it's worth, if and when we ever get another dog, it will be a dog and not a puppy. We will make every effort to learn about it's personality before bringing him home. I'm sure this sort of thing probably happens more then people want to admit. I'm trying to not selfishly keep our dog just because it's the "easy" thing to do. I really want him to be happy and have a long, wonderful life, with a very loving family.

Anyway, I agree that the situation is sad for everyone involved and, once again, thank you for your response.


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## NorthernLights (Oct 3, 2007)

IMHO- barring a serious illness or temperament issue, dogs are for life. 

My father's family reminds me of yours, although perhaps you are not this extreme: they get one cute puppy, it grows up. It's not so cute. They didn't train it so it has no manners. They give it up. 

Then, 6 months later, they get another pup. No training. Grows up. Is less cute. Then, they take it to the pound. 

They've done this about 5 times, and they use that exact same phrase you do about "not connecting," and "finding the dog its forever home" and "just not a good fit for us." 

I'll tell you what I've told them- first off, if you rehome this dog, don't get another. They're all alot of work. They require effort to bond with you. There are things you can do to help it bond- go to training classes, work on obedience, take it out for hikes, teach it fun tricks, etc. 

Good dogs are made, not born. 

Secondly, there will be NO dog that exists that is only easy and fun and bonds quickly and is everything you want right off the bat. If that's what you're looking for, then maybe you guys aren't really ready for a dog.

My dog is a year and a half. She's only just now becoming the dog I always knew she'd be with effort, love, dicipline, and training. Its really a growing process.


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## the-tenth (Jun 29, 2007)

Just curious as to why you wanted a boxer in the first place? What is it that you are having problems with? I ask because from what I understand, boxer keep a very puppy like attitude later into life than a lot of breeds. So if the whole "puppy-like" attitude is a turn off to you, if and when you decide to try for another dog, maybe you should try a breed that tends to be more docile.


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## Dakota Spirit (Jul 31, 2007)

NorthernLights said:


> IMHO- barring a serious illness or temperament issue, dogs are for life.
> 
> My father's family reminds me of yours, although perhaps you are not this extreme: they get one cute puppy, it grows up. It's not so cute. They didn't train it so it has no manners. They give it up.
> 
> ...


Ditto.

Really, keeping the dog is not the 'easy' thing to do. Rehoming it is. Puppies are very much like children in some respects. Not only are they a lot of work but it’s like going though the whole 'teenage stage' in just a matter of months.

While rehoming might be best in your situation, I do not believe it is fair to place the majority of the blame on the dog and 'not connecting'. When a lot of research goes into the idea of getting a dog (i.e. what breed would be perfect for your family, what age your dog should be at, should you go to a rescue or breeder, etc. etc.) this problem can often be avoided.


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## poohlp (Jul 10, 2007)

Maybe you should tell us what the specific issues with the dog are. I'm sure that "lack of connection" is really a stand in for a host of complaints such as potty training, chewing, barking etc. These things are fixable with time, love and training. The good news is with that love and training comes the very "bond" you feel is missing. A lot of the people here can probably give you some good advice for moving down that road. 

I definitely agree that keep the dog isn't the easy road...getting rid of it is. The far harder and ultimately rewarding thing to do, is to take the time to make that dog a true member of your family. If course, if you aren't willing to do this, rehoming might be the best option...but please don't just get another dog to replace it. You'll probably just run into similar problems.


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## Missie2007 (Mar 13, 2007)

I'm in agreement here. I won't bash you....at least you have the guts to get on this board and *attempt* to find a solution. You realize it's not working. You're *trying* to do something. Whether it's not working is probably more a reflection on you and your family than the dog however.

I will say this...your kids need to realize that you just don't "rehome" the dog and get to move on and "try out" another dog. They should not be permitted to get another dog any time soon. I'd wait and see if they really miss having a dog around or if they're at the stage in their life where the dog is something of a chore...just another responsibility for them that they'd rather not have.

I wasn't allowed to have pets as a child (other than a Guinea Pig) and frankly, it was probably the best thing my parents ever did in that regard. I simply wasn't ready for the commitment and the responsibility. I'm a FAR BETTER pet owner/guardian today, as a grown man, because of the time I took (and still take) reading and researching my dog and canines in general.


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## lovemygreys (Jan 20, 2007)

poohlp said:


> Maybe you should tell us what the specific issues with the dog are. I'm sure that "lack of connection" is really a stand in for a host of complaints such as potty training, chewing, barking etc. These things are fixable with time, love and training. The good news is with that love and training comes the very "bond" you feel is missing.


Perfectly said.


When I adopt a dog, it's for life - barring any MAJOR issues that would necessitate it being returned to the adoption group. Most of our dogs have come to us sight-unseen. And I've loved them from day-one, without any preconceived notions of what their personality should be. Part of that is b/c I researched breeds thoroughly before choosing one. You could plop any greyhound in my living room and I'd love it...they are all individuals but the overall temperement of the greyhound is perfect for me. 

I have seen dogs returned b/c they weren't a "good match." Mostly it's because the humans had made up in their mind that the dog should be X, Y, Z - not taking into account that dogs are individual beings with their own thoughts and feelings and the humans not wanting to put in the time or effort (or lacked the knowledge of how) to help the dog learn or become a "better dog." Ultimately, if you just don't want the dog, then the best thing for the dog is to place it with an adoption group who can work in the best interest of the dog. Or, contact the breeder....Responsible breeders require you to return the dog to them. And if you do choose to give him away or sell him, PLEASE ensure he's neutered before he goes to a new home (if he's not already neutered).


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## texasmomma (Oct 19, 2007)

Thanks everyone for the responses.

I think that the problems we have with the dog are probably more our problems then the dogs. I feel like he's a good dog and will make a great companion to someone, none of the issues are his fault. That's why I keep going back and forth on finding him a new home. It's not easy for me to want to give him up. I know everyone's said that's the easiest thing, but it's really not. 

I actually did a ton of research on what breed of dog to get, believe it or not. I finally settled on a boxer because I thought we would want the energy of a puppy-like dog (yes, I understood this breed stays puppy-like for years). I read that they were a great family dog, wonderful with kids, protective of their family, and when trained would be a really good dog. I understood that the dog would absolutely NEED obedience training. I read that this was especially important for a boxer.

I feel like I did everything right. Like I said, I researched the breed, we've been up on all immunizations, had him neutured, taken him to obedience training, etc. He is just so hyper that I can't keep up with him. He seems to be bored all the time, inside and outside. There's never a moment that he can just calmly lay down and "hang out". We keep him in his crate at night time, but I don't feel right keeping him in it during the day. When he's in the house, he's always pacing acting bored. When he's outside, he's barking at people or other dogs, or chewing up things. We take him on walks as often as we can, but I'm so busy during the day with my kids that I, honestly, can't continuously entertain our dog. I feel bad that we're so boring to him. He doesn't have any issues like not being potty trained, or biting or anything like that.

I chose to get a puppy, because I was worried that an older dog may not be acclimated to being around kids and may end up nipping at one of them. So, I didn't get a puppy just because he was cute and now we're tired of him. I grew up with basset hounds and really think I should have gone with what I knew. I was just trying to pick a more active breed for my active family, it's just somehow back fired on me.

Anyway, I think I answered all the questions. I do really appreciate the thoughts and advice you all are sharing.

thank you!


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## TFTpwnsYou (May 22, 2007)

No bashing here either. I know how you feel with this one. I've gone through it once with a former Papillon. Long story, but the dog was a nightmare and to no fault of my own. He's in VA now, and is a completely different dog. I trained him well along with a couple cute tricks, so training was not a problem, but his personality here was just unbelievable. I thought long and hard about this, and it was the best thing for both of us. 

I'd give it a little while longer, and make sure that finding a new home for the dog is the best thing. And find a GOOD home. If you decide you want to get another dog/puppy take your time in deciding. Spend some time with it (not in your home), and look around. Taking a few months to find a new dog (if you want one) will be worth it in the end.


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## WAgal (Oct 13, 2007)

Good luck to you. I can tell you are upset over this and whatever you end up doing you won't do lightly. Just for you to come here and ask advice is waaaay more than the average person would do. (((hugs))) to you and your family.


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## NorthernLights (Oct 3, 2007)

Hrmm...

what is your definition of exercise? Sounds from what you have described as his actions that he needs more mental and physical stimulation. 

Go to his breeder and ask for their advice on what THEY would do in your shoes. I can't tell you how many times I called Orchid's breeder to get advice for behavioral issues...


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

I think you actually CAN get some sense of a dog's temperement and personality while he's a pup.

I did a careful evaluation of Molly before we even took Esther back to meet her. She came home with us only because she is an uncommonly mellow little girl - especially for a lab pup.

It took a full year after we got Esther before she was fit to live with. It wasn't her fault and I knew what we were getting into. She was a project and one I gladly undertook.

There really shouldn't be any major surprizes when you bring a dog home.


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## poohlp (Jul 10, 2007)

Given how surprised you have been by the demands of the boxer puppy, I have serious doublts that the breeder is the type to a: take the dog back or b: offer much in the way of advice.

How often/long do you walk the dog.
What kind of playing with it does your family engage in?

I have no doubt he is bored. He is a Boxer puppy. I would not call a boxer a high energy dog. I would call them a super energy dog and boxer puppies that that to a whole new level. My dog is only half boxer. As a puppy he loved constant attention and was always into things (I got him at 7 months) He didn't slow down until he hit about 4 and even now at 5, he is still going strong and can run and play for hours. 

In addition to more exercise, you probably need to train your puppy to entertain himself occasionally. Training is about much more than basic obedience. Just because a dog always wants attention doesn't mean they should get it or need it. When you know you have met their physical and mental needs it is perfectly acceptable to say "enough." Think about what spoiled brats your kids would be if you allowed them to behave that way. There are toys and treats that are very good for this. In addition, check out the NILF sticky on the training forum.


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## NorthernLights (Oct 3, 2007)

RonE said:


> I think you actually CAN get some sense of a dog's temperement and personality while he's a pup..


I was going to disagree with you, but then I really considered what you were saying and now I agree. If you have a dog that's fearless as a puppy, it will be a strong adult. 

If your puppy is timid and fearful, as an adult it most likely will have some kind of issue, unless you socialize the heck out of it. 




RonE said:


> There really shouldn't be any major surprizes when you bring a dog home.


LOL! Well, there was this time that Orchid let her self out of her crate and shredded an entire roll of toilet paper all over the apartment, then proceeded to roll in it, while the BF and I were at work... 

Sean came home from lunch to feed/potty here and found the mess. He said that he was going to punish her, but he couldn't stop laughing long enough! 

See? that's what I call a surprise... ;-)


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## rsculady (Jun 23, 2007)

NorthernLights said:


> IMHO- barring a serious illness or temperament issue, dogs are for life.
> 
> My father's family reminds me of yours, although perhaps you are not this extreme: they get one cute puppy, it grows up. It's not so cute. They didn't train it so it has no manners. They give it up.
> 
> ...


OMG! Is your father's family related to my little brother? LOL As much as I hate it because I work in rescue, my little brother is the exact same way. I have heard "we're getting Anissa a puppy for her 2nd birthday" 6mo later the puppy was re-homed. I've heard "We got purebred German Shephard pup who only understands German" only to inform him that dogs do not "automatically" understand german because of their name, they are taught German commands but nope, he did not listen and 6mo later that dog was gone too because he was not trained(he was 12wks when they got him). I have heard "Julies boss gave us her Akita" and then the Akita was gone in a few months because she was too big for their apartment. OMG there are so many times I have wanted to bonk my brother and his wife on the head for this stupid crap!


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## texasmomma (Oct 19, 2007)

The breeder would be of no help. They were desperate to find homes for their puppies. They were not the type of people I can imagine giving the dog back to or even going to for advice. I can see now that the problems started from the beginning. We got our dog when he was just a month old. I felt like he was barely even old enough to be away from his mother. We should have made the breeders wait to give us our puppy for a few more weeks. I know, we were one of the last families to adopt from them too. There were puppies leaving the breeders being fed from eye droppers and given scrambled eggs to eat, because they weren't ready to be weaned from their mother yet. I know it was not a good situation. So, given the my puppy was so incredilby small in the beginning, he really had no personality short of sleeping all the time.

We try and walk our dog once a day. He'll chase after the kids around the house or outside and we play ball with him as often as we can. Like I said, I'm used to a low energy basset hound, so a boxers energy level has been very, very intense for us. 

I can see in retrospect how we are just too busy and gone too much to provide the level of exercise that our dog needs. I have 4 kids and somebody's always having to go somewhere or do something. I'm really thankful for all the advice on what to do. But, I think after expressing all my thoughts to all of you, I'm just really seeing more and more that our dog needs a lot more attention then we're able to give him. I really am realizing what an injustice we're doing to him by keeping him. He gets love, attention, and exercise, but just not enough. We have neither the energy level nor the time to put into keeping him happy and entertained enough. 

Thank you to all of you for the enlightenment. I'm really glad I came on here. Now, I need to focus my energy on finding him the absolutely perfect family.


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## NorthernLights (Oct 3, 2007)

Your whole post is the reason I preach non-stop about reputable breeders and researching the breed of dog you own. 

To anyone reading- research like crazy- the breed, the breeder and finally the dam and the sire. 

All I can say is that you should try to contact a breed rescue. They'd be the best place to get advice about rehoming.


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## the-tenth (Jun 29, 2007)

NorthernLights said:


> LOL! Well, there was this time that Orchid let her self out of her crate and shredded an entire roll of toilet paper all over the apartment, then proceeded to roll in it, while the BF and I were at work...
> 
> Sean came home from lunch to feed/potty here and found the mess. He said that he was going to punish her, but he couldn't stop laughing long enough!
> 
> See? that's what I call a surprise... ;-)


 See I'm more suprised when I come home, and things aren't like that.


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## Ella'sMom (Jul 23, 2007)

My puppy is only 4 months old but it really did take me some time to fully bond with her. She had to adjust to our family, and we had to adjust to her. Now I really can't imagine life without her.

Anyway, I think you should rehome your puppy now while he is still young. It's easier to place a young pup then an older dog. While I agree with others on here that a dog should be for life etc. Only YOU know your situation and none of us can judge you. You seem to know what's best for you and your family. 

I wish you the best of luck and I do hope that you find happiness in another dog in the future.


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## Max'sHuman (Oct 6, 2007)

I really feel bad for your situation. It sounds like you are the kind of person who really wanted to do the right thing. It seems like the injustice for him (the dog) started from the day he was born. The breeder sounds extremely irresponsible. I think part of the lesson here, as northern lights said, is to research where the pup comes from and pick a reputable breeder. But I would also examine really hard if your family is really ready for a dog right now. It sounds like guys are so busy and want the love of a dog but might not be ready for the work one requires. At least I would suggest getting an adult dog or something.


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## TheForsaleBoard (Oct 19, 2007)

I do not feel it's a bad idea to find your pet a new home but, I would look into all the alternatives before making that decision. Your pet has grown to love your family but, if you are unable to keep your family together and work around the new challenges you are facing, then, your pet deserves an environment change. This will not be easy. Think of it as placing a child up for adoption. The next faimly may or may not value your pet the way you do. This could be better or worse. Good luck. 
I would not rush into getting a new pet & consider Adoption from your local animal shelter. Please do not take your pet to the shelter.


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## FriendsOfZoe (Aug 7, 2007)

I'm surprised no one's suggested this...have you looked into doggy day care, or at least a dog walker? Sounds like you've got a good dog who just has way too much energy. I kept up with my high energy golden retriever puppy all summer, but now that I'm back in school she is going to day care 4-5 times a week because I don't have the same amount of time to make sure she gets exhausted every day. It can be a bit expensive but is so worth it if it works for your dog. She loves going there all day, and I come home at the end of a busy day and get a tired dog to snuggle with. Lots of dogs need more exercise than one human could possibly give them. Just getting in good play and running time with other dogs could make a HUGE difference.

I don't know what your financial situation is, but I would at least look into it and maybe give day care a shot for a few days before you make any final decisions.


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## valleyview1955 (Aug 7, 2007)

OH MY GOD, that is such a great suggestion Friendsofzoe!

Yes, doggy daycare, a play group, some place where the dog can socialize and run amuck for hours on end!! Getting the physical and mental energy out would be the first step. See if it helps, then have the "should I rehome the dog" conversation at a later date, like in a month or two.


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## Taz Monkey (Sep 2, 2007)

You said you did your research, but you obviously did not do much as you say you have 4 kids and no time to properly exercise the dog. You should have figured this out before you got the dog. A boxer is an eternal puppy. Please rehome the dog. He does not deserve to be miserable because of your mistakes. I realize I am the only person reacting negatively to this, but a dog is a family member. You take on a dog for life, not just until it gets too hard and you want the easy way out. Your kids are going to grow up and think that pets are disposable, which is not going to help the current shelter situations. A dog does not train, or exercise itself. You have to take it on walks, train it, even if you have to get up 3 hours early and go to bed 3 hours later...this dog is a living, breathing thing who did not ask to be brought into your home.


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## Dakota Spirit (Jul 31, 2007)

Taz Monkey said:


> I realize I am the only person reacting negatively to this...


Nah, the majority of the posters reacted in this way. Its just a matter of staying civil about it


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## Ella'sMom (Jul 23, 2007)

Taz Monkey said:


> You said you did your research, but you obviously did not do much as you say you have 4 kids and no time to properly exercise the dog. You should have figured this out before you got the dog. A boxer is an eternal puppy. Please rehome the dog. He does not deserve to be miserable because of your mistakes. I realize I am the only person reacting negatively to this, but a dog is a family member. You take on a dog for life, not just until it gets too hard and you want the easy way out. Your kids are going to grow up and think that pets are disposable, which is not going to help the current shelter situations. A dog does not train, or exercise itself. You have to take it on walks, train it, even if you have to get up 3 hours early and go to bed 3 hours later...this dog is a living, breathing thing who did not ask to be brought into your home.


Wow I have to say this is a good post....a bit harsh but well said. Even I think I got something out of it. It's been a little tough lately because our yard isn't fenced in and we have to take Ella out on a leash etc. Lately no one in my family wants to do this...and sometimes it's tiring even for me. Reading your post has made me realize that I took this on and it's not fair for Ella to get yelled out because she peed on the floor because no one wanted to take her out. Dogs are a lot of work and shouldn't be a novelty. I am not knocking the OP - I think she did try - and she should rehome this dog. WIth 4 kids and a boxer I can sort of understand her dilemma and am not judging her. I do think though it's sad for the dog.


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## whimsy (Aug 19, 2007)

Friend's of zoe is so correct with her advice. Please give this pup another chance. Your main problem I fear is that he is badly bred...but that doesn't mean you can't turn him into a loving companion for yourselves. First, you should have been taking puppy classes with him, they teach so many useful things on how to handle a puppy's behavior. But since you've missed that, I would suggest running to the closest obedience class in your area and register for the pup's sake and yours. Boxers are always a bit hyper even under the best of circumstances, so please give him a chance...you can't just discard him like an old shoe. The mistakes were on your part, now is the time to rectify everything. It would be such a bad example to set for the kids to find the pup another home...as if dogs are as disposable as garbage. Your pup needs to learn the basic commands and he needs lots of free running exercise to help him realize the difference between play time and quiet time.
Training will take care of just about any issues you have...I'm pleading with you to not abandon this little creature that already loves all of you...I've worked for shelters and have seen so many animals brought in from people who took second hand dogs. If he's too much for you, the other family might feel the same way and just dump him somewhere.


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## Moose's Mom (Sep 30, 2007)

I hope you decide to give your pup a second chance. Boxers almost always end up being such wonderful dogs. They just need training and an outlet for their endless energy.

My Moose is 1/2 boxer, 1/2 border collie-chow-etc. Other than trying to trip the kids when he plays with them, he's all boxer. And HYPER. 

Boxers tend to get a little rough in play when they're excited and my kids get fed up rather quickly with that. Is that what your kids are having a problem with?


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## nlkeple (Sep 24, 2007)

texasmomma said:


> I keep thinking this is one of those things where you either connect with your dog or not. Like dating somebody, you just know when it's time to call it quits. Yet, my family and I are still left with the feeling that we want a dog in our lives. Is that horrible?


When I was younger my Dad would always said

Sometimes you make the right decision, and sometimes you make the decision right

Clearly if it has come to this the wrong decision was made, but it is up to you and you husband to make this decision right for this dog. 

You could probably do this with more exercise, training, and time. If rehoming is what you decide you are going to do it is absolutely your responsibility to make it right for the dog. 

Don't just give him to a nice family that thinks boxers are cute. Find someone who has well cared for and well trained boxers. See if your vet knows of skilled owner who is looking to get another dog.


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## dallas (Oct 22, 2007)

Well, what happened? I really want to know what you decided to do. I give you credit for hanging in there. I read all the replies and am half afraid to put myself out there. But here goes. I chose my breed and have successfully adopted pups from rescue groups. But this last one was impossible. She jumped out my windows, screamed like I was killing her until she broke out of the crate. If I took her in the car, she would mess in it. She jumped the fence constantly. I had to resort to two tie outs and a thirty foot leash to exercise her in the yard. I walked this dog twice a day for at least an hour. Obedience trained her and yet I couldn't do a thing with her major problems. I called the shelter over and over but I kept hearing the shock collar was in use and I knew that the dogs in my neighborhood wearing those would jump the fence anyway. My neighbors weren't understanding and the sheriff threatened to shoot her. Rather than let him do this, I returned her to the shelter. I am filled with guilt over this and don't think I will ever recover. I want another dog and honestly can provide a terrific home with lots of love and activity but these were issues I just couldn't deal with. If she had just torn up the house, I wouldn't have cared! Now I am petrifed to try and rescue another dog. A pup would be difficult now because I am working but my current dog is lonely. I am in a quandry here.


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## poohlp (Jul 10, 2007)

I think the OP said 2 or 3 screens ago that she had made up her mind to get rid of the dog and she hasn't post on this thread since. 

Honestly, I think that was really her intent from the beginning. She just wanted to feel better about the decision. She didn't seem remotely interested in any of the suggestions offered and didn't want to really engage on what the problems actually were. The dog was the problem and she was going to take the "hard way out" and get rid of the dog, whatever that means. Hopefully, she will work to actually find him a home, not just dump him at the shelter and hope for the best.


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## tcasby (Apr 30, 2007)

Treadmill? Just a thought.

Occasional half days at doggie daycare as previously suggested.

Is there a nearby dog park? If addition to fun and exercise for your dog you might find good re-homing options there is you decide to take that route.


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## texasmomma (Oct 19, 2007)

poohlp said:


> I think the OP said 2 or 3 screens ago that she had made up her mind to get rid of the dog and she hasn't post on this thread since.
> 
> Honestly, I think that was really her intent from the beginning. She just wanted to feel better about the decision. She didn't seem remotely interested in any of the suggestions offered and didn't want to really engage on what the problems actually were. The dog was the problem and she was going to take the "hard way out" and get rid of the dog, whatever that means. Hopefully, she will work to actually find him a home, not just dump him at the shelter and hope for the best.


Original poster here!

Well, geez, thank you for thinking so highly of me. 

Honestly, I did come on here for advice. I didn't have my mind made up. I wasn't here to "make myself feel better about my decision". How presumptuous of you to assume that.

I believe I said in my last post, that all the responses made me realize that we aren't capable of taking care of our dog the way he should be cared for. I have had only the best intentions from day one. I did (despite what some have said) put a lot of research into the breed. I do believe the mistake was made from the get go with choosing the wrong breeder. We did do puppy training classes. Our dog never was able to pick up all the basic commands. Walking him is very challenging since he's so active. Really, everything, has been challenging with him because he's so active. I've also been involved in a boxer group since before we adopted him.

I have had to reach a point where I put the dogs best interest in mind. I would love to keep him and try harder, do the right thing, all that. But, I don't have the energy or time. Go ahead and flag me for getting him in the first place. But, I don't think it was so wrong of me to want to bring a dog into my family's life. I do want to say that I came on here for unbiased advice and got it. I just don't appreciate being judged so harshly. Obviously I care about my dog or I wouldn't have come on here in the first place. 

So, anyway, in answer to everyone's curiosity, yes we're finding him a new home. I will not dump him at a shelter. I absolutely never would do that. I will do my best to find him a new permanent family to love him.

I'm glad I came on here and I'm appreciative of all the responses. Thank you especially to those of you who were understanding. I think I've realized I'm not the dog person that most of you are. I love my dog, but I have to draw the line here. I'm not a horrible human being because I've made, IMO, a responsible choice here by finding him a new home. I think my kids will respect this choice when they look back. Our dog is not the right fit, no matter what others may feel that means...he's just not. Better to find him that right fit, then to keep him from being in the best home he could be. 

We will not be getting another dog anytime soon. I've realized we're not ready for one at this point in our lives. I'm a really great mom and I think this has made me realize that I just can't be stretched anymore to be just as great of dog owner.

Anyway, thanks again and please try not to be so judgmental in the future.


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