# First dog experience went terrible, but I want to give it another shot...



## DMU2011 (Aug 16, 2011)

Hi guys, I'm new to the forum so I thought I would share my story with you.

For the last year I have always wanted a dog, I've finished university and I am currently unemployed so I have quite a lot of free time, and get a bit bored in the day times. So I thought to myself, why not get a dog? I love playing with them, and having a pet around to keep me company and be apart of my family would be great.

So after a lot of research, I decided I wanted to get an Akita. I loved the look of them, and I would be up all night watching videos of them on YouTube. So I went off to a breeder, and purchased one. However, it was really nothing like I expected. There were so many mistakes I made when purchasing this Akita that I think led to a bad experience owning a dog, these were:

- The breeder sold me the Akita at 6 weeks old, I've now learnt that a puppy should be purchased at atleast 8 weeks as he should only leave his litter at this age. I've been told a puppy learns a lot in those extra 2 weeks. The breeders also didnt really provide me with much advice on owning the puppy.

- The puppy was not KC registered, neither had it had any vaccinations. So this had to be sorted out by me, without any experience of owning a puppy. I couldnt even let him outside on his own because I was scared he would try and eat something without me seeing.

- I was really stupid and went off and purchased the puppy without telling my family, I wanted to surprise them, but when I brought him back I didnt really get the reaction I wanted. Firstly my sister was so scared of him, she would hardly leave her room (shes moved out now). 

- Being a puppy, he used to pee on the floor a lot, and my mum hated that. Once he even had a poo in the house and my mum went crazy. Normally he would poo outside after he ate, I would also take him in the garden. I think this might of happened because he was still only 6 weeks and maybe he couldnt control it. 

All this became so difficult for me, my life had literally been taken over, I didnt have time to do anything but look after the puppy. I used to sleep next to him at night, and the poor guy would cry and I'd be up with him, and I'd be waking up early to feed him and take him out. It got to a point where my family was so stressed out, that I felt sorry for the puppy and felt he deserved to be in a better home. I then made the difficult decision of selling him to a friend who I knew would be able to take proper care of him.

I thought once I sold him, I would feel better and that my experiences of owning a dog would never tempt me again. But a month down the line, I feel the exact same! Even though having a dog was difficult, I miss it so much! So I am thinking of giving it another shot, but not straight away, I want to put a lot of research and thought into this. I think the major mistakes with my first puppy were:

- I went to an unreliable breeder
- I chose the wrong breed for mine and my familys life style
- I was unprepared

The reason I think I got the wrong breed was because I think a breed that would suit my family would be a more laid back dog, that doesnt need a lot of excercise and attention (when older). After researching, I think the right breed MAY be the Chinese Shar-Pei, because it seems to be quite a laid back dog, it isnt a big breed, and from what I've heard they dont really like water, so does that mean they may not pee as much when in the house?

I just wanted to know what you guys think after hearing my story. Do you guys think I should even be looking at another dog after my first experience? And is the breed that I've chosen the right breed for me?

Would appreciate any help, thanks.


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## katielou (Apr 29, 2010)

All puppies are going to pee in the house until you train them to pee outside.

I would not reccomend a puppy for you. Get an adult dog from the shelter if you must get a dog.

I think a shar-pei is just as bad of an idea as an akita. They take extensive care and training.

I would reccomend you wait until you are in stable employment and are a little more educated on dog care and training before you think about getting another dog.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

I think it's great that you were able to realize your mistakes, learn from them, and want to try again! 

I agree that the Akita was probably not a good choice, and you're right, a more laid back breed might be better. But, keep in mind, even a "laid back" breed might have more energy than you'd think when they're a puppy. Puppies have lots of bad habits (what we people call bad habits, the poor puppies don't know any better!) like: jumping, peeing, nipping at your hands/feet like crazy, peeing/pooping inside, etc. 

So, you have to make sure that your family is ok with the choice to get a puppy. One thing we see on here quite a bit is people posting about how their family doesn't want to follow the same training method, or is "undoing" all the training the primary owner is doing.

For instance, if you try to teach the puppy not to jump on people, but someone in your family enjoys rough housing with the dog, and lets him jump, it's going to be next to impossible to train him not to jump. Or, if you are trying to teach him bite inhibition (not biting/nipping) and someone in your family allows him to nip during play, it's not going to work.

You're unemployed now, are you going to look for work? Do you see yourself getting a job in the future? You have to take into account that your schedule might change, and that will affect your puppy.

In other words, make sure that you do your homework, and that nothing will get in your way of doing what's best for a new puppy.


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## +two (Jul 12, 2011)

I appreciate that you decided to get a dog from a breeder and not a pet store. That was correct. However, breeders vary greatly in quality. If and when you decide to get another dog, please research the breeder carefully. Visit the whelping site and see how your puppy is being raised. 

You really need to involve EVERYONE in your home when choosing a dog. It is not fair to expect them to have to deal with a decision you made. If your family does not want another dog, then you shouldn't get a dog. period. 

I really encourage (beg) people to think about where they will be in 2, 5, 10 and 15 years. If you don't know, then you shouldn't get a dog. Just because you are unemployed right now, doesn't mean that will be the case in 6 months or a year. What will happen to this dog once you get a full time job, a significant other? Far too many dogs are rehomed and brought to shelters because their owners suddenly did not have the time for them. Please, please, please, think this through. A dog is a long-term time commitment. 

Also, since you are unemployed, who will care for the dog? What if a job doesn't come along right away? You can expect to pay upwards of $1000 a year just on essentials. Never mind emergencies, training and any other extras. A dog is a long-term financial commitment.

Before you even think about getting another dog, you need to do a lot more research. Read all the stickies in this forum, and then all the threads in the first time dog owners section. When your done, keep reading. When you have had enough of dog talk, keep reading. Visit local training clubs and talk to experienced owners and breeders. A puppy does not come house broken, no matter what anyone promises you. Your puppy will eliminate in the house. This is part of owning a puppy! 

As far as breeds that might suit you, you need to talk to your family. Be realistic about your expectations and what you would be able to offer the dog in terms of exercise and attention. I have over 10 years experience with the Chinese Shar-Pei and I can confidently say that they are not a breed that should be placed with first time dog owners. Are they exceptionally athletic? No. However, Shar-Pei are stoic, regal and independent. This means that they are selective, unique and not easily 'trained'. There is a reason why you don't see a lot of Shar-Pei in Competitive Obedience. As katielou stated, they take extensive training and knowledge. Also, the owner must be well versed with common illnesses that Shar-Pei can be prone to. With a Shar-Pei, researching a breeder is VERY VERY VERY important. Finding a good Shar-Pei breeder is difficult. They require daily grooming and care to maintain their coat and skin health. Often, they will also require a special diet. I'm not sure where you live, but they are not suitable for all climates either. 

Just one last thing.... don't ever believe that just because a dog doesn't like water, that it won't pee in the house. When someone says that a breed typically does not like water, they are referring to swimming. Shar-Pei do not typically enjoy swimming. But they drink just as much water as any other breed and will urinate just as much as well.

In the future, please look at local shelters if you plan on getting a dog. Many times a mixed breed is the best compromise for a first time dog owner. Thousands (millions) of dogs need homes! I would also recommend looking at getting a dog that is a little older (1+ year). This will eliminate most of the intricate and difficult parts of owning a puppy.


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## DMU2011 (Aug 16, 2011)

Thanks for the replies everyone! I think I will definitely not rush into buying a dog, I'm just going to take it easy for a bit and research more on them, breeds, and watch episodes of the dog whisperer lol! I think going to a shelter to get an older dog at about 1 years old is also a good idea, I used to be unsure about this as I've always wanted to raise a dog myself, however, a family friend purchased a mixed breed dog from a shelter when it was 1 years old, and shes had it for 9 years! She also said to me I should get a mixed breed dog, Im not sure why, but I will look into it for sure.

I'm not sure where I will be in 6 months time, but if everything goes to plan I should be working from home, that would be perfect! But I cant be for sure just yet, so I will see what happens


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

I would recommend volunteering at a shelter or rescue first. Speaking from personal experience, if you've never spent long periods of time with a dog, jumping right into ownership is not a great idea. Get to know a lot of dogs, spend a lot of time with them. Clean up after them, train them, feed them, etc. Then you'll be much more prepared to actually live with a dog.

You also need to have realistic expectations. Having a dog is almost as big a responsibility as having a child. A grown dog is comparable to a 3-4 year old child. They understand some things, but not others. Puppies are very much like year-old babies--they toddle around getting into things, everything goes into their mouth (except puppies have sharp teeth!), and they aren't potty-trained. You can expect a puppy to have accidents in the house at least until he's 6 months old. They can't fully control themselves until then (although with very careful management you could minimize the accidents. But not totally eliminate them). If this freaks your mother out too badly, a puppy is NOT a good idea. And make sure everybody living in the house agrees before you bring another dog in.

I think if you volunteer at a shelter/rescue, it won't be very long before you find your doggy soulmate .


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## CricketLoops (Apr 18, 2011)

Yes, yes, yes, yes. These are two of the best resources for new dog owners and ones that I always recommend as well! Ian Dunbar even has resources for free! Go to this website for links to them: Free downloads . Before You Get Your Puppy and After You Get Your Puppy should absolutely 100% be read before you even think about bringing another puppy into your home. They are also very helpful for dogs, too.

Also, all puppies (and usually most older dogs, even housetrained ones) need to be taught to pee and poop outside, not in the house. Even ones that are housetrained in someone else's home may have trouble learning the same concept in your home because dogs do not generalize well. Almost all puppies will cry at night. All puppies will chew. Before bringing a dog into your home, you need to be prepared (through former reading or consulting a dog trainer) to deal with these problems.

The GREAT thing is that you've realized you did it wrong last time and you're interested in doing it right! That is excellent. I would strongly recommend you find a dog show in your area -- these are excellent places to go to actually meet members of the breed you are interested in! I would definitely say that it's not a very smart idea to get a certain dog breed because you've watched videos of them or read about them -- you really need to meet several members of the breed to know if they're really right for you. For instance, I thought I was interested in Irish Wolfhounds for a very long time... but when I met several, I learned that I actually think they're too big for me, and they weren't "goofy" enough (I like silly dogs). If I'd gotten a Wolfhound based on what I'd read and the hours of videos I'd watched (especially the puppy videos) it would have been a terrible match.


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## LazyGRanch713 (Jul 22, 2009)

DMU2011 said:


> Thanks for the replies everyone! I think I will definitely not rush into buying a dog, I'm just going to take it easy for a bit and research more on them, breeds, and watch episodes of the dog whisperer lol! I think going to a shelter to get an older dog at about 1 years old is also a good idea, I used to be unsure about this as I've always wanted to raise a dog myself, however, a family friend purchased a mixed breed dog from a shelter when it was 1 years old, and shes had it for 9 years! She also said to me I should get a mixed breed dog, Im not sure why, but I will look into it for sure.
> 
> I'm not sure where I will be in 6 months time, but if everything goes to plan I should be working from home, that would be perfect! But I cant be for sure just yet, so I will see what happens


A lot of shelter dogs are in foster care, which is a wonderful thing to consider. A dog in a shelter situation may or may not act 100% different than they would in a home setting. I know one person who went to the shelter, and adopted the calmest dog she saw, a very large dog who wasn't doing anything except laying around while the other dogs were going crazy. She loves the dog to pieces, but he is ANYTHING BUT the laid back, calm dog she expected. (The opposite is also true--you may see dogs going bonkers at the front of the cages because they've been there so long, with little attention and exercise, and are practically begging to be let out, and would make fine house dogs given the proper care). Foster situations are nice because the person who is caring for the dog can tell you if the dog is housetrained, has basic manners (doesn't jump up, doesn't bark a lot, doesn't counter-surf, etc). I'm not saying buying a dog from a pound is a horrible thing--quite the opposite. But if you're looking for a dog with specific traits and specific training (ei: house trained), then a dog who is in foster care might be right up your alley. I'm not sure where you're located, but a lot of breed clubs have links to dogs (of that breed) that are currently in need of permanent homes. It might be something to consider


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## fbuitrag (Feb 4, 2010)

I am no way expert but I did went through a similar situation and only want to mention that if you consider to give it another try, your need to make sure your family (or people you live with) are fully on-board with you (this is a shared responsibility and ALL people would have to be tolerant towards the dog) other wise you are headed for a second bad experience. 

My second experience is going much better after the shared responsibility is settled!


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

I recommend that you go to a rescue (preferably) or a shelter and ask for a 3 year old or older Labrador Retriever or Bichon Frise. At that age, both dogs can be fairly laid back, they can still be trained, they should be house-broken, and they are very forgiving or mistakes, making great first time dogs.

What ever dog you get, you will want to walk the dog about 30 min. a day, and train the dog for at least 10 min. a day. Also, it would be nice to social the dog with lots of different people - they love people - and maybe with other dogs at least once a week.


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## DMU2011 (Aug 16, 2011)

I've always loved the Labrador! But the only thing that has put me off is thinking I cant commit to the amount of exercise they need. I would be fine walking a dog once a day for like 30 minutes, but from what I've heard labradors should be taken for a walk twice a day. Is this true?


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## rudybear (Aug 22, 2011)

I second the recommendation of adopting an older dog, maybe a young adult dog/adult dog. There are A LOT of older dogs available for adoption on petfinder.com- sometimes they are really great dogs whose family simply couldn't take care of them anymore due to unforeseen circumstances (moving, financial issues, illness, etc). Puppies get adopted pretty fast (everyone wants a puppy!), but the older dogs are often housebroken and somewhat trained. Of course they often won't be pure-bred AKC dogs, so if that matters to you then this might not be for you. I think its everyone's desire to get a puppy because they are so cute and adorable, but its not always the wisest decision. I know several people who've adopted adult dogs with not regrets.

I recently adopted a puppy- a mix- hes a wonderful dog! He is A LOT of work though, originally I was considering an older dog but I changed my mind due to living on a farm with animals- I wanted to train him from a young age to tolerate the animals. If this wasn't an issue, I would have adopted an older dog. Puppies have a lot of energy and require constant supervision/attention! Housebreaking takes weeks to months depending on the breed, and requires crate training, and there will be accidents. If your family is very sensitive to the dog having accidents in the house, a puppy isn't ideal for your situation. I've been religious about the house training schedule I have for my puppy and he still has accidents when I'm not keeping a close enough eye on him outside his crate.

Also, I recommend renting a book from the library or buying a book about dog training. I read 30 days to a well mannered dog by Tamar Geller, it has a lot of excellent information and changed the way I handle my dog! Do NOT skip researching dog training/how to raise your dog to behave well.


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

Foster an older dog for a rescue. That way they will pay for vet bills until it is adopted. Being unemployed is not the time to get a dog. You may have unexpected vet bills. Also, if you get a job, you may end up needing to travel or work long hours or move. Owning a dog then can be difficult.


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## Charis (Jul 12, 2009)

Good for you doing research and being willing to admit and learn from your mistakes. 
I would suggest volunteering at a shelter to get your "dog fix." It is hard to resist getting a dog when you want one and volunteering will give you the ability to be around dogs while determining all the other factors. It will also let you get a feel for different breeds. 
Read the books suggested. Read through the forum. Research breeds. Research breeds more. Meet actual members of the breed. 
If you decide you don't mind going the mix route then you may have a harder time meeting members of the breed but try. If you decide you want a lab mix (as an example) try to meet lab mixes. Won't be easy but you can try. Go to the dog park (without a dog) - you will meet members of various breeds, you will get to see dog behavior, what happens when you don't train your dog, when you do train your dog, play styles, dog body language, etc. Talk to owners about their breeds, the breed needs, etc. Look up groups on facebook, yahoo, etc. of breed gathering and ask if you can come. I attend bimonthly gathering of Sibes and Mals at various dog parks (not suggesting these breeds) and so you will be able to meet a large variety of each breed. Research lines. Some breeds have "split" and have show lines and working lines. These can be controversial but know what you are getting into with each breed. 
When you do decide to adopt go through a foster. Someone will know the dog, its quirks much better than at a shelter. The rescue group (a good one) will assure you and the dog are a good fit for each other.
As for breeds - 
Avoid breeds that people refer to as "extreme" or intense. Border Collies and alot of northern breeds fall into this category.
A companion breed may work best for you. 
Do work out how you are going to pay for the dog. Vet bills can add up - Murphy's law will apply - if it can go wrong, it will. Have some savings for vet check-up, vaccines, spay/neuter, etc.


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

Thirty minute walks once a day are OK for a Lab that is older than 3 years. You'll also want to spend at least 10 min. training (you might shoot for 30 min., until you get into the rhythm), but that can be handled by following "Nothing In Life Is Free - NILIF, as a general interaction philosophy. Labs adapt. And, once of the nicer traits is that tey quickly get in step with your daily pattern, including sleeping 18 hours per day, when you can't interact with them.

http://dogstardaily.com/free-downloads has two free books that are excellent introductions.


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## xxxxdogdragoness (Jul 22, 2010)

DMU2011 said:


> I've always loved the Labrador! But the only thing that has put me off is thinking I cant commit to the amount of exercise they need. I would be fine walking a dog once a day for like 30 minutes, but from what I've heard labradors should be taken for a walk twice a day. Is this true?


Well, your unemployed, plenty of time for walking . I work in a labor-intensive 9 + hr job & I still manage a 45 min daily walk in the evenings.


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