# Nerves and worries about my new puppy



## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Hi all,

I just adopted an 8 week old Golden Retriever puppy called Bailey. I am already hopelessly in love with her and am so glad I got her.

However, I also feel anxious and nervous about training her and whether I am doing right by her. I feel a bit drained after these three days. 

My girlfriend is currently in Thailand and won't be back till Friday so I suppose I will be fine then, just need some reassurance I think!

Thanks in advance.

-Matt


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

Congratulations on your new puppy! 
Anxiety is so common when you have a new puppy, especially one so young! The best advice I could give is to worry first about bonding with your puppy, and second about training your puppy. There are things you can do to bond with your puppy that will lay a great foundation for training.

For instance, say her name, if she looks at you give her lots of praise. You can even give her a teeny, tiny treat. That way, she is learning her name, AND, learning to pay attention to you when you say her name, but you aren't doing any heavy duty training that involves a large attention span. Do you know what I mean? Because puppies that age have such short attention spans!

I understand you probably don't want her to develop any bad habits, so you are anxious to start training right away, and you want to do it right. But, bonding, and managing her environment so she doesn't develop bad habits are a big start, at least for now. 

When I say manage her environment, I just mean, supervise her super closely, so she doesn't have the chance to do anything she's not supposed to. If she starts going toward the woodwork like she's going to chew on it, rather than try to teach her anything complicated, just interrupt her, and distract her by giving her something appropriate to chew. By doing this, you are stopping problems before they even start, so there's really no need to get complicated. If she's never allowed to get to the woodwork to chew, she starts thinking of that as something interesting to do.

The super close supervision works with potty training, as well. If you are watching her like a hawk, and sticking close to her when she's "on the move", than you can PREVENT accidents by taking her out when she first shows signs that she needs to go. And, by preventing indoor accidents, you are, again, stopping a problem before it even starts.

Besides supervision, managing her environment also means puppy proofing your home, so that there is nothing, and I mean nothing within her reach that she shouldn't have. I can't believe how many people get upset with their very young puppies for chewing up their shoes/remote control/pillow/bathroom trash or whatever. A very young puppy shouldn't have access to any of that. It's part of managing their environment. If they don't have access to that stuff, right now, when they are super young and curious and need to chew (because of their age, developmentally), then it won't be as interesting to them when they're older. You are, once again, just preventing problems before they start.

Do not believe any of the alpha/dominance training.

And, above all, understand that all of us make mistakes with our puppies. Don't expect too much from her right now, she's a super young baby. Bond with her, manage her environment, and start with very, very short training sessions, several times a day. That way, you're training, but you don't really know you're training, you know what I mean? It's just baby steps!


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Hi Doxie,

Thank you so much for your reply. It has made me feel a lot better. 

After reading through all your advice, it has made me feel that I am on the right track with Bailey. We've just had a nice long play session where I sat on the floor throwing her ball gently, to which she would chase it. Eventually she decided, she'd rather lay in my lap for a stroke.

I think my biggest concern is her crate which we are using at night time and when we are out to keep her safe and stop her from doing any damage! She cries and whimpers a lot when she's in there but I am trying to convince her its fun by throwing treats in there during the day for her to find and also placing her favourite toy at the back of the crate so she has to climb in to get it.

Hopefully I am doing the right thing, I think it will all feel easier when I have my girlfriend here to help me out!


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## Dog Person (Sep 14, 2012)

Beside bonding, house training is your first priority, as was said be proactive. As far as the crate training they will cry and a very young one will have to go all the time so don't expect her to last too long even at night. I just adopted a 4 month old and the first 3 nights were really bad ... she is 100% OK at night now but she sometimes whines when she gets put into the crate during the day. Make the crate her special place, my last dog loved her crate and even though my new dog whines when she's in there with the door shut she freely goes in there all the time.

Expect accidents from the pup even if she is doing well at house training, when they have to go they go! 

Good luck and enjoy your new pup!


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

The whining is completely normal! She is in a new place, with new sights, sounds, and smells. Dogs use those senses more than we do. So, things we don't even notice (little sounds like the "hum" of the refrigerator, or smells like the laundry) are new and interesting, and a bit daunting to her. You are the one thing that she is starting to be comfortable with, so you are like her security blanket. Of course she's sad when she can't be with you! 

You seem to be doing great! One thing I'd add is, try to use the crate, just for 30 seconds to a couple minutes, during the day when you ARE home. That way, she won't always associate the crate with a time when you are leaving, or bedtime. This will help her become accustomed to it, too. 

Is the crate in your room at night? I would recommend that, because even being able to hear you breath, or smell you, can help comfort her at night time. You don't always have to have her crate in your room at night, but, in the beginning, it can help her settle in a bit easier.


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## RitaNg123 (Sep 27, 2012)

I can definitely relate to the nervousness of a new puppy. It's like a mix of emotions when you get a new dog, and you always want to make sure you do the best for them. We had a dog growing up, but it's a lot different to have a dog as a kid, than it is to have one as an adult. Over the last 20 years, things have changed so much in the doggy world too. When I was a kid, it was normal to rub a dog's nose in pee/poo if you caught them doing it, whereas now, the onus is on the owner to be more conscious and aware and watchful of their puppy to prevent those things from happening. Crate training was virtually unheard of back in the day, whereas now it's the norm.

One thing I can almost guarantee for you is that once your girlfriend comes back, things will be a lot easier. With my husband and I, it's almost like "shiftwork" in some ways, where I will take a little break/nap while he watches the puppy, and vice versa. Originally when we got the puppy, my intention was to do most of the caregiving, but I am so glad my husband adores the puppy as much as I do, so that he takes on some of the responsibility as well.

Lastly - Doxiemommy - you are awesome! You're always so kind, helpful, and positive in your responses to people. I've appreciated your insight to my own question, and have read your responses to others. Your puppy/puppies are super lucky to have you as mommy!!!!


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Thanks for all your advice guys. I feel much more comfortable this morning. 

I moved the crate under our breakfast bar, where she likes to nap in the day and, hey presto, she is using it to go and nap in. I'm so proud of her!

She also made it through the night with no accidents. I did get up at 2:30am to let her out once and she was good.


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

As Doxie and Dog Person wrote, whining is normal. Expect her to whine for about 3 nights and then start to relax. .. And start to chew on everything  Goldens are great dogs and you'll have lots of fun with Bailey.

Two Free Downloads that may help: http://www.dogstardaily.com/free-downloads


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

Glad to know things are getting better!
RitaNg123, thank you for those kind words!


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Hi guys,

I was wondering if it is a good idea, to go for a walk with my puppy in my arms. 

a) to get me out of the house and 
b) to give the puppy some socialization opportunities.

Or should I just wait till she is fully vaccinated on the 18th and then take her out for walks?

Matt


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

You can carry her outside, just don't let her on the ground anywhere dogs congregate, like pet stores, parks or popular walking spots. It's really good for her in terms of socialization. Just be prepared for virtually everyone you meet to squeal "puppy!" and go right to petting her without asking.


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

Agreed!!! This gives you a great opportunity to socialize with people, and it also gives you bonding time during "location" and 'situation' socialization. Plus, sometimes you can take a puppy into stores where they may not normally allow dogs...  Everyone loves a Golden!


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Hi Guys,

Need some advice again. Bailey had been behaving perfectly, up until the last two days.

Firstly, when I see she needs to 'go' I have been taking her out, but instead of going she just decides to run around the garden and chew everything in sight (including the cat poo that my neighbours b**t*rd of a cat keeps leaving in my garden. I repeat her go word, business, and give her praise and treats when she does go, but I can be outside for 15-20 minutes at a time waiting. I have a lead for her, but when I put it on, she just chews and pulls at it. I need to give her time to get used to the lead, I know.

Secondly, she has taken to chewing my socks and jeans when I am in the kitchen with her, which is frustrating as she has now ripped my jeans. I distract her with a toy, but more often than not she ignores the toy (even her favourite teddy!).

She has been so good with her other training, learning to sit and to lie down, but I often feel myself getting increasingly frustrating and raising my voice at her, which I know is not the way of doing things. I know it's only been a week since I got her, but I need some techniques that will teach her the right things to do.

Thanks again!

Matt


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## CrimsonAccent (Feb 17, 2012)

I know other members simply leave the leash on their puppy and let the pup drag it around the house. Puppy gets used to it and it gives you an extra foot or two of reach 

Maybe cut down potty breaks down to five minutes so she can start to see the difference between "this is strictly bathroom only" and "playtime!!" Just watch her (extra) carefully to ensure no accidents happen. Sometimes you just have to be the no fun guy

Hmmm the basic rule of training is ignore/redirect undesirable behavior, praise the good. Turn away and ignore her for 30 seconds when she pulls at your clothes, or even go into a separate room so she can't keep getting at you. Not sure if that is the first thing you should jump to, but I wouldn't think it'd 
hurt

 best of luck.


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Thanks for the advice. I have had her lead on her this afternoon (she thought it was a new chew toy!)

I wanted to use clicker training with her, but she is scared of the damn thing so I'm unsure whether it would be wise to continue with it?

I'm sure she will get the hang of potty training eventually, I didn't want to crate her all day as she is a Golden and has lots of energy, but maybe i need to crate her and only get her out for potty/play/training times?

-Matt


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## amosmoses89 (Jun 19, 2011)

For being scared of the clicker, I've heard of some people putting a cotton ball over it to muffle the noise, or just using a Snapple lid or something that makes a similar noise but at a much lower level. Good luck!


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

I'll try keeping it in my pocket or something.

-M


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

For the outside potty:
I would cut down on the time you spend out there. When you see the signs she has to go, take her out, but only stay about 5 minutes. Puppies get so easily distracted by cool sights, sounds and smells that you and I would never notice! So, it's normal for them to get distracted and forget why they're outside. If she doesn't go, bring her back in after 5 minutes. BUT, and it's a big BUT, you have to watch her even more closely because what will probably happen is she will think "oops! I forgot to potty! I REALLY have to go!" and she will potty in the house almost as soon as you bring her in. 
If you're prepared for that, and are watching, you just rush her outside again, and try again!

Basically, it's about letting her know that potty time is potty time, you go potty. If not, you go inside. And, alternating, 5 minutes out to try, then 5 minutes in to wait it out, then back out for 5, etc. will help. Some people let their pups have a few minutes of play time outside as a reward for going potty.

I agree with the lead, if you leave it on around the house it will help her get used to it, and then you can use it for potty trips. But, if not, you can "body block" her, meaning, use your body to keep her in a smaller area. You just kind of walk into her space, and that will usually cause a dog to back up.

As for chewing your socks and jeans:
Have you read the sticky at the top of the forum pages, "The Bite Stops Here"? It outlines a great technique for getting puppies to stop play biting. Basically, when she bites, you make a noise to get the pup's attention and show you don't like it. Some recommend a yelp, but for some puppies the high pitched noise gets them even more excited, and makes the nipping worse. Some people recommend saying OUCH or HEY. 
Anyway, whatever noise works best....she should stop for a second and look at you. She will most likely go back to biting after just a few seconds.  So this time, make the noise and then also leave the room. 

It's the combination of the noise to alert her, and then removing yourself from the room that works. The noise alone really doesn't do it. Puppies love human contact, and when you leave it really makes the technique work. But, it's only leaving for 20 -30 seconds, gradually building up if the biting continues.

As for the frustration and raising your voice:
That is a normal human reaction for many of us!  Just keep in mind that your puppy is still such a baby. She has a short attention span, and is very active. Also, teaching a puppy takes repetition, ESPECIALLY when you are teaching it something that is totally against their instinct (like not play biting). They usually respond better to calm voices. And, even though I just said it takes repetition, I meant as in lots of practice, NOT you repeating your command over and over. 
If you repeat your commands over and over (because she doesn't respond) that really teaches your pup that they don't have to listen the first time around. So, even though it's hard, if you're working on "stay" and she doesn't stay, the best thing to do is body block her back to her spot and try again, without getting upset and saying "stay....stay....STAY....STAY STAY STAY!" 

Hang in there, you are doing great!


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Thanks DoxieMommy, you are a great help, as are the rest of the members that have answered. 

Would it be better to crate my pup while she is indoors and I have got other stuff to do? Then get her out for potty times and when I can spend some time training/playing with her?

Regards,

Matt


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

Lots of folks use the crate a lot during the day, even when they are home. They follow a system of sorts that says put the pup in the crate, take them out about every hour for potty, after they potty keep them out for some play time, and then back into the crate. 
One of the reasons for this system is to quickly potty train. 

However, I am not a fan of this. I would rather have the puppy out and about with the human closely supervising them. I find that you learn their "potty signals" more quickly if you can clearly see the puppy all the time. AND, I think you are also able to see potential accidents BEFORE they happen and rush the puppy out more quickly, thus providing lots of "potty training" opportunities. I remember when my dogs were super young it seemed like they were ALWAYS starting to squat. Since they were out with us, we could interrupt them by saying "hey!" and then rush them out. Every time you do that, you're teaching them the right place to go.

Now, for the times when we needed to cook or do housework, or shower, yes, we crated then. But, all other times, we had them out with us. I also think it helps them learn the rules of the house, so to speak, like what's allowed and what's not.


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Me again! Starting to feel that getting a puppy was a bad idea and that's not good.

My girlfriend came back today and Bailey was shy at first but warmed to her relatively quickly. However, her housetraining has gone to complete sh*t. If you'll excuse the pun.

Is this just because of my girlfriends return? We are finding it difficult to differentiate between potty sniffing and just sniffing the kitchen floor. 

We have tried using the lead to take her out but she just sits on the floor after realising she can not get away.

Really trying to control my frustration with her play biting too. The walking away is working sometimes, but other times it is not.

I can't wait for the puppy class that I've enrolled her in so I can get some help. I know I'm being paranoid again and just getting stressed. Maybe I should resort to leaving her in her crate unless we are specifically in the kitchen?

Rant over, lol.

I must sound like a broken record!


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## RitaNg123 (Sep 27, 2012)

Ahh, that's reassuring, Doxie, about how you prefer the puppies to be out and about also. Sometimes I groan when my puppy has an accident and wonder if I am doing it wrong by having her out so much. I've kind of become a slave to her over the last couple weeks with watching her like a hawk. Some of my friends have said we let the dog control us by always having us watch/follow her as we do. 

I'm also not a fan of her being in washroom (it's working out to be like a gigantic crate and I notice she doesn't like to pee/poo in the entire area, though she will use the pee pad if she has to, but it's becoming increasingly rare) all the time. So I basically have her around the house and we follow each other around so I can watch for signs of her needing to go. 

Another thing I find positive about having her out and about and not locked up is that I can try to work on other things as well, like when she takes random things around the house and I try to teach her it's not okay. 

She seems to be getting the idea that if she stands by the door, she will get taken out. So this is another positive thing for me that I would not have gotten to see if she was mostly in the crate. 

Yes, puppy has taken over my life!!!


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## Dog Person (Sep 14, 2012)

I'm not an expert in dog training but this is what's working for me.

For the nipping - use a strong NO and redirect her to one of her toys. After a while she should get the message. Its not working 100% for me but my pup will usually takes one of her toys instead of fingers. She'll chew on whatever for a little while then gets board and the starts mouthing again.

For house training - I don't keep the leash on her but I keep it close to the back door. If your pup has an accident what was she doing before she went? I ask this because my pup has a habit of looking out the back door - this was the indication she needed to go. Yours may do something that indicates she has to go besides smelling the floor. Of course being an pup she may go from playing to peeing just like that. l disagree that you should only take her out for potty breaks - let her have fun outside as well. I am crate training but our pup is baby gated where we spend most of our day but gets crated if we leave her for any length of time and at night.

When she does go outside give her treats or toy and praise. I gave my pup special treats vs the regular training treats every time she did her business outside. House training with others can be difficult but eventually it comes together. My sons were watching my pup and she had an accident in the house twice on the same day due to them not paying attention to her.

Have patients, it'll all come together.


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

1. It takes until about 6 mos, until a puppy is reliably potty trained... b/c the aren't physically able to completely control.
2. If you can't monitor the pup, it is simplest to crate... ad take her out about every hour.
3. When a pup needs to go, she may pee in about 30 seconds when you take her out. However, she might sniff all the new smells, so it is best to keep her on leash and stand in the bathroom area. I believe that it's OK to carry the pup outside on leash to potty.
4. Goldens need chewtoys - a frozen stuffed Kong, and a hard rubber bone ... and keep non-chewables - such as shoes, socks, eyeglasses, etc. - out of reach, or they become chewables 
5. Use the Bite Stops Here... however, it takes about 3 days to begin to work, so praise when the pup stops nipping, but be prepared for another nip! If the pup does a playbow or barks when you yelp or remove attention, that is an apology ... praise and prepare for another nip. 
6. Everything you're writing is normal. Very normal. Puppies go through many well-documented stages of development and cycles of behavior. For example, with a Golden - 8 weeks can be cute, 9 weeks more outgoing, 10 -12 weeks more energetic and exploratory. After you get all 3 sets of shots, socialize her to more people, dogs, animals, places, and experiences... and she'll calm down ...
7. Some people love the dogs, but not puppies. Note my avatar: I like the puppies, but I know to expect the Vampire stages, and the goat stages, and the pig-headed stages... and the ultra-sweet stages, the ultra-intelligent stages, the teddy-bear stages, and the excellent companion stage...


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

YES, it's totally possible that your girlfriend coming home has upset the routine. Potty training setbacks are totally normal. With any learning process, sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back. That's ok, it's normal. Yes, it's frustrating, but normal. 

As far as telling the difference between potty sniffing and just normal sniffing, "when in doubt, take her out." You can never really take her out too many times, even if she doesn't go, you are still teaching her and laying a foundation. Yes, it may seem like a hassle, but, if you even wonder if she's doing the potty sniff, take her out.

As for the leash, you could pass on that, and just try to use your body to block her into one area. OR, you could get an ex pen, just a wire type pen, and set that up in the area that you want her to use for her potty spot. The pens come in different sizes, so you could choose. I would choose maybe 3'x3' so she can sniff around a bit.

Try to get out every once in awhile, to just enjoy some "free time" away from the puppy. That will help to refresh you! I remember when my dogs were puppies, I loved grocery shopping, and I never really liked it before. But, it gave me time away, and I didn't have to worry about peeing puppies or biting puppies!

RitaNg123, your friends that say you are letting your dog control you by having you follow it all the time, hey, don't even listen to them! Your dog isn't controlling you, you are choosing to do that, so your dog will be properly trained. And, after all, they aren't puppies forever. Soon, you'll have some freedom back, AND, on top of that, you will have a properly trained puppy!


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

Agreed!!! My house-trained dog comes to me when he has to go out... even if he has to vomit! I watched him and followed him as a pup.


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Ok I'm rapidly losing hope. Bailey doesn't seem to be getting the no biting stuff, even if I ingore her and stop play, she just jumps at me biting my clothes. She caught my lip yesterday as I was getting up to walk away and today she has caught my arm, breaking the skin but not drawing blood.

She is enrolled in puppy classes beginning next week, which I really hope will help and she gets vaccinated also meaning I can soon take her out for walks, but I still fear that she is going to be a devil puppy.

I'm sorry to say that she is actually upsetting me now and it takes a lot to do that. I consider myself a strong person but I feel like she has broken me.

Should I consider sending her back to the breeder if she doesn't improve?

Matt


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

She's a retriever puppy who is what, 9-10 weeks old? 

I'm afraid you just need to be consistent, and prepare for her to be mouthy for a while. I know it hurts and sucks -I have just gotten out of the puppy shark stage, and not even with a retriever - but it's a normal. She's not defective. She's not doing anything any other puppy isn't going to do. Getting her properly exercised will really help. Exercising her brain will really help. But she's GOING to mouth for a while, all you can do is keep yelping, getting up and walking away, so she learns that it hurts. 

And do it calmly and without emotion. She may be reading your 'upset' as a game or play and that will reenforce it.


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

She'll be 10 weeks old on monday.

I've had a suggestion to use a spray bottle to train her. Would anyone recommend this? The methods in 'The Perfect Puppy' just don't seem to be working 

I will try to persevere!


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

matt_&_bailey said:


> She'll be 10 weeks old on monday.
> 
> I've had a suggestion to use a spray bottle to train her. Would anyone recommend this? The methods in 'The Perfect Puppy' just don't seem to be working
> 
> I will try to persevere!



...even if I didn't have a problem with aversive training (and I don't a bit - I'm not above a 'no' or "EH"-) I would not recommend it for a golden retriever. They like water. You're likely to end up rewarding her for biting you. Also, seriously?A t 10 weeks, I'm not saying this to be snarky, nothing is going to seem to work. She's 10 weeks old. You need to consistently use one method for a matter of probably a month before you can say if it's working or not. It takes TIME, especially with an infant that young, of any species. They just don't have the brain power to 'get it' and have it stick yet. Right now it's mostly patience, repetition, and laying groundwork so she learns some limits that will stick in the long run. Short run? Is management. Don't play with her, with your hands. Keep a toy in them and use it. If she goes for your hands, either yelp or 'eh', get up and walk away with the toy. She will get it, but again: Gonna take time.

Oh and! You will be fine. Puppies are exhausting, overwhelming, and a PINTA. You're doing a good job. I think anyone who says they've never been fed up with a puppy is probably either lying or just completely unrelatable to by me. They're hard! They're stressful! At times they're infuriating. If it helps, set a goal a while out to reassess in - 'how is she doing now, compared to then' - but set it a ways out. Like, when she's 4 months old see if she's doing better on mouthing and potty training and whatever else you're working on.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

I agree. It took 4 weeks with our first pup, to get him to stop nipping/biting. Seriously. Four weeks of doing the same thing over and over again. Drove my husband crazy, because he HATED getting up from the couch and leaving the room during his tv watching time. But, you have to be consistent. 
The thing to remember is, you're not just trying to get her to stop biting for that one occasion. You're trying to teach her a life skill that she will know for the rest of her life. Teaching and learning takes time. Every dog is different, as to how long things take. But, it just takes lots longer than most people think.

As I said, it took at least 4 weeks with our first. It took 2 weeks with our second, and, honestly, about 5-6 weeks with the third. On the first, it didn't really seem to improve much, and then, boom, all of a sudden, he got it. With the others, it gradually got better over time til they stopped.

Many people expect it to take a week or so. They get frustrated when they don't get results, and they stop one method and try something else. The thing is, they stop before the dog catches on, and then they start over with a new method, and that's just confusing to the dog. 

As for the water, I'd say no, too. She will either think it's cool, or she'll learn to hate water. Really, it's just that you need to be patient and consistent, and give her time to learn.


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

doxiemommy said:


> But, it just takes lots longer than most people think.


We found Kylie when she was about 4 weeks old - In fact, almost exactly 4 weeks old, if the person who claims she came from their litter was right. 

It took us THREE MONTHS to completely stop the play biting. She lost a lot of litter socialization and learning bite inhibition, which helped nothing, but no. It was not speedy.


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

Give yourself some time, and wait to get help from the trainer... There are some ideas the trainer can help with, that we haven't explained clearly...


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## hikeon3 (Oct 17, 2012)

Not to bring up a dead thread, but I'm curious to hear how this is going?

I'm in a similar situation. My puppy is entering the "shark" stage and "The Bite Stops Here" is my bible, but man is it tiring. And I'm only 2 days into it!


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

It takes at least 3 days  and that's just to get the idea across to the pup.


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Hi guys,

Sorry to ressurect a dead thread, just thought I'd give an update and ask another question 

Bailey is doing very well. Puppy school was the best thing I ever did! She is a clever puppy and is starting to learn very quickly now. All my initial worries seem so silly now.

My question to you all is this:

On fridays, I have to go into the office for meetings (I usually work from home). During the day, I drop Bailey off at my mums who also has a Golden Retriever, Molly (6 yrs old). Now the dogs love to see each other but more often than not, the play gets too violent and Bailey begins biting Mollys ears, neck and anything else she can quite hard. 

I do not know if this is a dominance thing and it is something I plan to ask our dog trainer next week, but I thought i'd get your advice first.

Thanks in advance.

Oh and here is my bundle of joy!


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

This is a typical thing with puppies, especially with Retrievers. Most adult dogs will patiently give a puppy license to misbehave, so it is up to you to protect the adult from the puppy.

When You decide that Bailey is too excited, then call her away or snap on the leash and lead her away, ask her to Sit, Down, etc. for about 30 seconds, allowing her to calm down, and then let her go back to play. The process is vaguely similar to Bite Inhibition, but for completely different reasons. In this case, when she is too wild, you want to teach her to come to you when called, to do a little 30-second training and reward to calm her down, and then let her go back to play as a reward for coming to you .

When she is playing with Molly or bullying other dogs, watch the reaction of Molly or the other dog when you call Bailey away. If the victim comes over or looks like she is anticipating Bailey's return, then the level of play may be OK. If the victim hides or even goes off to do something else, maybe everything was a little too much.


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## matt_&_bailey (Oct 1, 2012)

Molly does seem to encourage the behaviour. I'd love for them to both just settle especially as we will be at my parents for Christmas. Will Bailey grow out of this behaviour?


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

Think of it this way, when kids play at recess time, sometimes, even the best of friends get too excited and the yard duty has to send them to the bench to chill out. 
Sometimes dogs will choose to settle on their own. At our house, usually Harper decides to settle down and stop playing before the other two. If the don't respect that, he may snap at them to say "hey, I'm done, leave me alone!" and they usually stop, too. 

If someone is watching them play, and one dog has a tendency to get a too crazy, try to watch for the signs that he's about to go over the edge, that way you can stop it right before it starts.....


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