# Feeling depressed with new dog



## Lurleen (Feb 9, 2008)

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice or similar experiences on feeling depressed about having a new dog. I just got my first dog, Roxanne, a week ago. She is a rescue dog. She is just over one year old and she is beautiful, loving, and despite not knowing any commands, very well behaved. She is affectionate and has adjusted very well to her new home! The problem is I am adjusting a lot less well.

I have wanted a dog for quite some time and I finally got to a place where I could offer the real commitment required for a dog - time, stability and finance-wise. The rescue adoption process was long and thorough and all through my commitment didn't waiver. I am a regular pet-sitter for friends and have taken care of other people's dogs for up to three weeks, thoroughly enjoying every moment and feeling very sad and lonely once it was over. All good signs I am ready for my own dog - I thought (as did my references and family).

I am very depressed. I feel MORE lonely with my dog than I did before I got her. It has only been a week so I know it may just be me adjusting. I have been with her almost constantly since I got her so I think I feel more tied down than necessary (I've only left her a max of two hours as she has been coming to work with me) and I really haven't had any "me" time or time out with friends. The one thing I had for me this week was a massage and I spent the whole time feeling guilty for leaving Roxanne. 

Maybe I just need to get out on my own for a few hours, see a movie with a friend. After all, she seems pretty well adjusted so she'll probably be okay if I go out. 

I guess my real question is, did anyone else go through this? If it's normal I'll work through it (as I am trying my best to do right now). If it's not normal I don't want this to get worse and for Roxanne to have a bad mom. Any advice you can offer on the situation would help.

Thanks.


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## Inga (Jun 16, 2007)

I cannot say I was ever depressed because I had a dog. Maybe because I wish I could afford more of them, but not for having them. I love my dogs and love to spend time with them. However, you don't want to turn her into an anxious dog that MUST be with you all the time. You do need some type of a life beyond your dog. Little though that may be. LOL I have a friend that is a little like that. He actually starts getting all anxious when he is away from his dogs for more then a few hours. It is pretty sad really. I mean, his dogs are fine without him. I am sure yours will be fine without you as well. Go see a movie with your friends. Invite friends over too. I love having my friends come over for barbeque's and such. Then it is the best of both worlds, my dogs are happy to share in that and I am not sitting alone. LOL I also don't take my dogs to work with me, though I wish I could.


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## skelaki (Nov 9, 2006)

It's not fair to your dog or to you to spend all your time with the dog. You need to go about your regular routine -- work, going out with friends, etc. You might want to consider either crate training or using an ex-pen to confine her so that you know the dog can't be getting into anything, especially anything that could hurt her.


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## loratliff (Feb 7, 2008)

I went through that, to be entirely honest. A lot of women go through similar emotions after having children too.

I felt like I couldn't leave him - the first night I left him to go out, I worried non-stop - about him, about my neighbors getting angry if he was crying, etc., etc. The more I went out and the more my dog learned, we established a routine. I don't like to leave him for more than eight hours (and I miss him whenever I do!) but sometimes life happens.

As others have said, you do need to continue on your normal routine. Now if that means being gone for twelve hours or more at a time, then it's obvious that you'll have to make minor adjustments to your schedule, but your dog is going to be just fine without you. 

Go out, see a movie and grab dinner with a friend and then come home, get your pup, give him/her a huge kiss and have some playtime. 

I'm sure these feelings will pass. Keep us posted!


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## TooneyDogs (Aug 6, 2007)

Hmmm...A one week commitment for showing her the rules and making her comfortable in her new home really isn't out of line and you should feel good about that investment of your time. Is it possible that you had some pre-conceived expectations for a new dog and she's not meeting those expectations? 
The other thing that comes to mind is....responsibility. Previously, you didn't have too much of an emotional investment in the dogs...they were visitors but, it's different this time.
Me time is very important. Don't feel guilty about it....we all need it and we're all torn about taking our dogs with us, missing them when we're gone and frankly, no matter where we are or what we're doing, they are always in the back of our minds and....this may sound hokey....I guess that's what love is all about.


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## Ella'sMom (Jul 23, 2007)

It almost sounds a little like post partum depression! I actually do know how you feel. When I got my dog last summer it was like bringing a new baby into the house. I didn't do much and my life sort of revolved around her. I sort of missed "my old life". Your dog is a little older - you can go out and go about your old routine somewhat. Give it time. Bringing a dog into your home is a huge adjustment and you're not expected to adjust immediately. I wish you the very best of luck.


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## MegaMuttMom (Sep 15, 2007)

I feel like that sometimes too. It is hard to give up free time and feel so responsible for another life. Give yourself permission to go about your life, your dog will be fine and will be happy when you come home. The happiest times of my day are when I come home to see my dog happy to see me. If I'm with him all the time, it can sometimes feel like a grind. It's kind of like when your kids stay home sick from school and cabin fever sets in. Nothing like getting them back to school so you can get back to life. I wouldn't trade him for anything but I need my own time to be me too, with no-one (human or animal) following me around.


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## mkh3482 (Dec 30, 2007)

I completely felt like that when Gracie first got home. I cried a lot the first week because I felt like my life was over. I became frustrated with potty/crate training and began to question whether or not I made a mistake.

It does go away, though - you are going through a big adjustment, just like if you brought home a newborn baby.

Hang in there - I promise it gets better!


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## Cheetah (May 25, 2006)

I went through the same thing when Shippo came home! I was majorly depressed and scared the first week - kindof like a "OMG did I make the right decision, am I cut out for raising a puppy right now, do I have time, what about my social life?! PANIC!!" thing lol... I burst into tears randomly, I was completely exhausted at all times, etc. I really do think it's normal, and I never even thought about the depression that mothers go through after having a baby. That really does make sense!


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## RonE (Feb 3, 2007)

Young Molly was kind of an emergency adoption on a Sunday and I had to go back to work on Monday and leave her alone with Esther.

I thought, "What have I done?"

Even though she immediately affected ours, and Esther's, lives in mostly positive ways, I had regrets and second thoughts. I think that's normal and most people survive it.

It helps, though, to have people here who understand and will listen and commiserate.


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## libbylou62 (Feb 6, 2008)

wow ..this is an awesome thread ..thank you everybody, y'all said so much that i needed to hear ..i'm going through this a bit right now, with my first puppy ..i'm constantly worried that i'm doing everything wrong, that we're never going to bond, that i shouldn't leave her in her crate because she might think i don't love her ..blah blah blah ..she's all i think about, and she's all i talk about, it's ridiculous ..but i believe that it's all going to settle down ..a new pup is a huge adjustment, for you and your pup ..i know that i just need to relax, people have been raising pups for hundreds of years, but it's just so hard to chill out!! for instance, she's fussing juuuust a little in her crate right now, and i want so badly to go and get her out, but i can't because crate-training is so important, but gosh it's all so hard ..

hang in there, kid, and i'll hang in there with you


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## Gates1026 (Mar 14, 2007)

I really remember bringing Bailey home as an 8 week old puppy and wondering what in the world I had just done. I felt like I was completely prepared, but all said and done I dont think I had any idea of what I was getting myself into. The first few days with Oscar were very tough and this time I DID know what I had gotten myself into.

I dont think there is anything abnormal about feeling scared, confused, frightened when getting a new furry friend. Your whole life suddenly changes, and the unknown can be very scary.

One thing that helped when we first got Bailey to ease her into being alone (and ease my guilt a little as well) was to plan little trips out during the day when I knew that they were really tired. This way you get a little alone time and can know that they are sleeping peacefully.


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## tigress (Feb 6, 2008)

Heh, I'm going through that now with my puppy. If you can't tell by my million posts of please some one tell me I'm on the right track I'm all paranoid about doing everything right. I find myself sometimes asking, "what did I get myself into, and did I just do a really irresponsbile thing by getting htis dog? Am I one of those people I complain about?". Alternatievly I also find myself going she's going to be a great dog (I know if she doesn't turn out to be it's my fault. SHe has the potential to be an awesome dog, she really does. Just needs housetraining and a little training as she already has many good habits and is usually responsive if I tell her uh uh).

It's a huge change and I also feel like all the sudden my life is revolving around her (and I feel like I'm neglecting my needy cat who is really timid and not adjusting as well as the other cat so I only see her if I leave the dog alone in her crate in the den that is away from everyone). I'm hoping after I get her housetrained I can get a little more freedom (and hoping I"m not totally ruining her housetraining  ).

But yeah, you're not the only one going through it right now if it helps (and I suspect a poster's husband of another thread where he wants to give her up after a week is probably actually feeling something similar).


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## Lurleen (Feb 9, 2008)

Thanks so much everyone. I am very glad to know I am not alone and this isn't totally abnormal. Roxy is such an amazing girl that she deserves a great mom. So I hope some time and a more balanced schedule will help us. I guess being single and doing this alone is a bit harder. The emotional support a partner provides seems like it would be a great help right now. I'll just have to lean on my friends more than usual. I will definitely keep you posted and if anyone else wants to share what's going on with them we could be a little support group.

L.

Hi Tooney Dogs - thank you for raising the idea of what expectations I had in my mind before I got her. I obviously had some though I wish now I'd written them down to understand what they were - with the dog now it's harder to remember what they were pre-dog. I think maybe I thought she would complete my life and maybe what's really happened is that she's made me realise I'm a bit lonely. So she will definitely enhance my life but perhaps I put too much pressure on getting her being some single-life remedy. I don't think that was a deliberate expectation and certainly being lonely isn't the reason to get a dog (and it wasn't my conscious reason). It helps to think about this though so again, thank you for bringing up a great point!

I definitely don't feel like I've wasted my time though - I guess I'm just scared and hoping that it's "normal" - and it at least seems to be common so it helps to know I'll get over this initial panic. Roxy is totally worth the time I've spent with her and she deserves it. In order to continue to give her what she deserves I guess I just need to find the balance that works for both of us.


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## MegaMuttMom (Sep 15, 2007)

A dog can be helpful if you're feeling lonely. It makes it so much easier to connect with people if you're out and about with a dog. Take an obedience class, go for walks. People really do like to talk to people with nice dogs


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## loratliff (Feb 7, 2008)

MegaMuttMom said:


> A dog can be helpful if you're feeling lonely. It makes it so much easier to connect with people if you're out and about with a dog. Take an obedience class, go for walks. People really do like to talk to people with nice dogs


Ditto - having a dog is great way to meet new people. I live in downtown and sometimes I don't even want to take the dogs out because I just don't want to talk to people about them! 

I'm single with no children as well so I'm sort of in your boat too in that regard. Fortunately, my mom's been there to calm the feelings of regret and any insecurities I've had.


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## goldenhaven (Feb 7, 2008)

I dunno if its been said, I didn't read everything everyone said. But yeah I agree with the above and it could be just a feeling of new responsibilities and new experiences. I agree on the crate when you're not home. All my dogs go right into their's when I say "Kennel". 

I'd also suggest going to an obedience class or something of that nature. If your dog is active and playful maybe some agility lessons. It boosts your confidence, your dog's confidence, you're with other people and it helps bring out some feeling of pride in your dog.

I know I felt something like that when I got my Springer, she was a pup and I wanted to teach her to stay by me so badly I got a bit worked up over it. I was also worried she wouldn't have the attention span to learn the things I wanted her to. Now she knows tons of tricks and commands and she just turned two. Make training lots of fun, you both will have a great time.


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## bethneebabe (Dec 9, 2007)

Welcome to the world of dogs! I felt exactly the same. I had wanted one for soooo long, done so much research and then he was here and I had the feeling of "What did I get myself into?" It didn't help that my friends and coworkers couldn't understand why I was so overwhelmed and didn't want to talk about him. I felt he was so much responsibility and I was going to mess things up. We've had him for over a month now and I am so in love with him. I used to feel really bad because I didn't bond with him right away. Now we are buddies. Feel free to post and ask as many questions as you need to!


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## mkh3482 (Dec 30, 2007)

bethneebabe said:


> Welcome to the world of dogs! I felt exactly the same. I had wanted one for soooo long, done so much research and then he was here and I had the feeling of "What did I get myself into?" I*t didn't help that my friends and coworkers couldn't understand why I was so overwhelmed and didn't want to talk about him.* I felt he was so much responsibility and I was going to mess things up. We've had him for over a month now and I am so in love with him. I used to feel really bad because I didn't bond with him right away. Now we are buddies. Feel free to post and ask as many questions as you need to!


I had this exact same issue. Gracie came home on MLK Day, so we were off. The next day at work, everyone asked me how she was and I just didn't want to talk about it because I was so ridiculously overwhelmed and feeling like I made the biggest mistake ever.

While I was away at a teachers' workshop last week, I missed her to death. It was nice for the night before I left to not have to worry about taking her out or anything, but I've definitely gotten over the initial anxiety and depression I felt before. I'd say it takes a good one to two weeks. It also helped that the weather had been fairly warm, so I was able to take long walks with her to tire her out so as to get her to sleep at night!


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## gizmobaby (Apr 30, 2007)

Don't worry! I felt the same way! The first time I brought my dog home, I was happy, excited and felt wonderful! It quickly changed to being gloomy. I felt like I had to take care of him 24/7, not being able to leave him out of my sight -- especially since he's a puppy!

It almost came to a point where my boyfriend told me to try to get him a new home (not put him up for a shelter, but do my own searching for another home). I fought it a bit, but he told me I wasn't ready and had no prior experience in having a dog. I finally agreed and put a posting up. I already had it in my head -- meet these people, visit their homes, see if they have any prior experience.

But in the end, after many people inquired about my dog (he's just way too cute and too fun of a personality..who wouldn't want him?), I kept him.

I just realized it was me who had to adjust to him. I had to make my own lifestyle and then put the dog into mine. It got so much better after that!

Just let yourself know that you should really put your priorities first, in consideration of your dog.  I'm sure it's just the thought of having to take care of the baby 24/7, every hour of every minute... Even for me that's a little bit too much!


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## Lonewolfblue (Oct 28, 2007)

I would just get a crate and put her in it when you want to go out and do other stuff. She will adjust just fine. Don't feel that now, since you have a dog, you can't do anything. That's not so. Whenever I need to go anywhere, I usually take Betty with me, and if I can't, she just goes in her crate til I get back. But I usually give her plenty of time to go potty before I go, and she does great. Before I got her, that was one thing that I did have to think about, would I be so tied down? I'm actually no more tied down now as I was before I got her, but am much happier because she's there, and we go out on our walks, go to the park, or just go for rides in the car up into the hills and let her run.

Another thing you might want to think about. Training. Take her to an Obedience School, or a Puppy Class. There are many good trainers out there, and if it's a group class, you will get to meet other dog owners, and make more friends. There's so much more out there that you don't need to feel so tied down or depressed.

What kind of dog is she? Is she a breed where you might be able to do something locally for competition, whether she's a pure breed or mixed? I never thought I would get into it, but after talking to Betty's trainer, I've really gotten into it. We are going towards Rally-O to start with, hoping we might be able to do her first competition in Sept. But if not, then 2009 for sure. This is not only fun for me, but major fun for Betty. She absolutely loves going to school. And being a private class, there's no other dogs involved unless we go out to try and work on her socialization.


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## Lurleen (Feb 9, 2008)

Thanks again everyone for the comments/advice/support. I left Roxy at home yesterday and was much happier to see her and spend time with her last night rather than trying to pretend she wasn't there. She is at home again today and we'll just see how things continue to go. I think I had a lot of stressful things going on and the new dog just added to it and put me over my limit. Now that I recognize that, I am dealing with everything and sorting stuff out. It is certainly not Roxy herself causing what I'm feeling - the timing wasn't great but it's not her alone. We have registered for obedience level one training beginning Feb 23 and I am really looking forward to that. She is already getting the hang of "sit" which is amazing in such a short time. I'm glad she has the patience for me as well as I for her!

L.


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## kittee (Jan 3, 2008)

I adopted a shelter dog about six weeks ago and am struggling with the same issue. I'm the one with the separation anxiety. I've only left him for an hour here or there and on Mardi Gras we left him for four hours. When I'm away, I am worried that he is being anxious, it sucks!

xo
kittee


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## Max'sHuman (Oct 6, 2007)

This is a great thread because I went through the exact same stuff. I remember clearly that the day I put down the deposit on Max was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt like I was floating for the entire day. Then came the worry that the shelter would reject my contract. Then came the worry that my parents would just rain so hard on my parade that I couldn't take it. All kinds of worries. It was like being bipolar. Finally I got him. And on the first day home he nipped me. He didn't want to play. He wanted to hide under the bed and heal from his neuter and adjust. So the next day, when I went to class I was practically having panic attacks. I just knew that I would come home to find pee and poop everywhere with favorite items chewed up, just a disaster and maybe even a dead dog. 

I came home and he was fine. In fact, he was thrilled to see me. My therapist (I know I know) told me that I just had too high expectations of him and of myself. He's my first dog so of course I'm going to make mistakes, and maybe he will too. We're both new to each other and need to give each other the time and space to adjust. 4 months later I can say with confidence that he is one of the best things that ever happened to me. My social life has changed some. I can't go out straight after class and I like to keep one day a week (at least) where we can get some serious quality time together. But I enjoy that time. And I enjoy my time out too. Because I know the best feeling in the world is going home and getting bombarded with ecstatic doggy kisses. I actually start walking faster to get up to my apartment just so I can see him. So don't worry it'll be fine, you'll be a great dog mommy. Just have patience with yourself and patience with your new girl.


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## ozzy (Sep 29, 2007)

Wow we are all very similar in this aspect! I also had these feelings when I got Ozzy. I spent years wanting my own dog (living with other's dogs so I know what it's like) and finally after buying my own home and having some time I got Ozzy. I felt very prepared but the first week I had him I got very sick with the flu and just felt depressed and like what happened to my life. I have a boyfriend but he was not really a dog person and does not live with me so it was MY DOG. I think having others in the house to help does it make it easier but I was on my own too. My boyfriend now loves the dog too and helps me more but in the beginning it was ALL ME!

So yeah I had all the same doubts and worries and being sick did not help. After a couple of weeks it gets better, its just an adjustment. I imagine it is a lot like having a baby. I know if I brought a baby home I would be feeling the same things! At least with the dog you can leave him home alone! I also felt bad about leaving him and worried to death. Never wanted to leave him more than two hours at first. It's gotten easier to leave him, I don't worry about him but I do still feel kind of bad and I miss him. It's great to miss him and come home to him. You will feel all these things with time and I think you will be a great mom as you are obviously very devoted since you are on here talking about her. Good luck!


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## Regi (Feb 16, 2008)

If I could Id bring a new dog home everyday ha I just love a new pup Id bring them all home if I could ha But my hubby has had enough of me


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## Gypsy22 (Feb 17, 2008)

I have bouts of frustration and WHY as well. I haven't slept past 6 since we got the puppy. Usually I have a break when my son is off(getting to sleep in) not anymore since Luna arrived!!

It reminds me of when I had my son...half of it is 'being exhausted' caring for someone else constantly. Try to find time for you and get a break. My husband is home days/weekends so it's only *really bad* in the morning (trying to housebreak and entertain an energetic pup while getting my 9 year old ready for school) and in the evenings when I have to supervise homework/bath time/watch the dog constantly while cooking/whatever. I definitely use the crate during 'transition' times.

I find myself bleakest at 6:30 am when I am trying (successfully) to get my coffee down while the puppy is racing around, chewing everything, peeing just as soon as we come in/and so on...I have to clean up the yard, watch her, direct my son AND I am in the middle of a job search.

Talk about not doing things by halves..

My husband doesn't mind her (watch her) as much as I do...I am home almost all the time and I see her eating bits off the floor, chewing the table, and so on...this goes on all day...he just tunes a lot of it out...

Keep repeating...she's just a baby...or just a helpless animal that NEEDS you...hugs...


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## Regi (Feb 16, 2008)

OMG those precious eyes I would give up everything for that face ,, what a cutie ,, gosh I didnt think any other dog was as cute as mine ha


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## aud0806 (Feb 8, 2008)

I work, so I had to learn rather quickly to leave her. It was really hard at first, but I made sure she had her own room with a ton of toys and plenty of room to run around in.


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## Regi (Feb 16, 2008)

I know the feeling of a dog not letting me sleep my Yorkie used to wake me up early but now these 2 dogs that I have now are the perfect pets. My mom has to walk them for me I have bone cancer and a rod in my leg so they can pull me over. So my dogs wait until about 7 am or until they hear us moving around getting ready for school then my mom will walk them and then they are quiet and play all morning until they nap and then that happens all day, My Yorkie had a chewing problems I used that apple bitter spray and it worked on the chewing.

OMG those precious eyes I would give up everything for that face ,, what a cutie ,, gosh I didnt think any other dog was as cute as mine ha


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## Aisha's Mom (Dec 23, 2007)

I don't feel so alone! LOL...

I feel constantly upset about having to leave Aisha when I'm at work, I keep saying that only 4 more weeks and I'll be on maternity leave and can spend time with her all day! (and then after that juggle three kids and the puppy but will still be home more)...she always sees the kids going out to the car and goes over the windowsill and looks out, then looks at me and whines...I just feel so bad putting her in her kitchen and shutting the gate! I even turned down hanging out with a friend last Saturday just to stay home with Aisha (well that and the doc said to stay off my feet all weekend)

However I get so frustrated and upset sometimes that she's destroying the house!! She's only 71/2 months...so still chewy and naughty and love to get into things...I know this, still I cried when I found one of the back couch cushions chewed open and fluff everywhere this morning (between 8am-9am she did it...after she woke up and I let her out and such), so there I was at 9am sewing a cushion back together crying that all my stuff is ruined!! She'd dug a hole in a butt cushion a few months back that is just unrepairable so its covered in a blanket...the whole couch back is covered in towels to prevent chewing, an arm is chewed off and now covered, the base is all covered because she chews it and two butt cushions are covered because of rips!! And this was a nice couch my parents had given me...and we just don't have hte money to replace it or fix it...I cry almost every day about it! She's eaten two corners of my coffee table to nothing (its got towels on it too, but she'll go as far as to pull them off when I'm not looking, then I usually see the kids by it so I blame them...until I caught her!!) and she ate my BFs FAVORITE hat and work boots...I just get so depressed about it! I know she'll grow out of most of it and we'll have more time soon to take her to run and play all day, but its hard. 

However, one look at her adorable cute face and the thought of where she'd be now if I didn't rescue her (she was a street stray at a killshelter humane society) and I know I would never ever give her up....(this said after five minutes ago cleaning up poop she just puked back up all over ANOTHER couch cushion that she probably ate while playing outside )


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## Aussiefan (Jan 21, 2007)

Hi Lurleen, things will get better. Its that adjustment period that can really stir up emotions. My life is pretty much dogs, i help my good friend who is a professional dog trainer with her obedience and agility classes several days a week, i compete in agility with my own dogs, dogs are a huge part of my life, and always have been. But even for me, when i get a new dog like when i adopted my BC back in November, routines change during that adjustment period and that can work on your mind in odd ways. Its temporary though, and soon things will be great. Like someone else mentioned, take obedience classes or other dog related activities, but also be sure to keep time aside for you and your hobbies or fun things you like to do. I just went on a week cruise to Baja Mexico with friends, (my dog friends, LOL) i needed it, been a long time since i did a vacation that didn't include dogs...i needed it, did i already say that, LOL! You still need YOU time once in a while, its good for your dog as well. Seperation anxiety can develop if the dog is with you 24/7. Having a trusted dog sitter is a great thing, even just putting him in a crate for a few hours while you go see a movie with friends is just fine. (crate training is a wonderful thing) Just getting into a nice comfortable routine is a great thing! Let us know how you are doing.


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## Regi (Feb 16, 2008)

As far as the couch I do this .. I put blankets to protect it from pee but I have one of those uhpolstery cleaners that does the trick and I use the bitter apple stuff on my table so he doesnt chew he doesnt like that.. Try the bittle spray.. Your life sounds like mine with kids and 2 dogs sometimes u lose it but I usually have patience and love and never leave them unattended if you do put him behind a gate so he cant ruin your stuff and last but not least get him tons of toys and bones. He would RATHER chew on that stuff my dogs have their own basket of goodies and they both run to it and take out their faves and play trust me do this it works


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## hattrickinc (Nov 23, 2007)

lol while reading these 2 pages of posts I kept doing a 
"OMG I FEEL LIKE THAT!"
"THATS SO ME!" 
"RIGHT! RIGHT!"
When we first got out puppy Hunter, life was hell, but life must move on right? To this day, looking at all the bills for vets (u dont even wanna know), puppy pads, this that the other food shots blah blah blah clothes (girlfriends idea heh) etc etc.. omg,

but what worked for me is just stopping the world and taking a second, looking at the puppy and realizing how much he is counting on me to raise him, to teach him the AMAZING world of Kongs filled with peanut butter, grass, other dogs, hours and hours of non-stop running (and occasional) humping in the dog park, and just know that while this dog is with me on earth, I am doing the best I can to make sure he is happy...

I love my puppy, and I will do everything in my power to give him the best life... even if it is watching Animal planet on our 42" plasma (I SWEAR HE JUST SITS AND WATCHES IT!!!) for an hour. whatever the case is , he is my dog, and hes counting on me.. and I wont let him down.


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## lisaj1354 (Feb 23, 2008)

Hi -

I actually registered just to respond to this thread.

I thought I was the only one who felt this way! 

I spent months researching breeds and found what I believed was the perfect dog for me. I brought her home and immediately went into panic mode. 

Within days I was exhausted, cranky and doubted my ability to own a dog, despite the fact that in less than a week she was answering to her name and would head towards the paper any time she needed to do her thing. I too am single and thought that maybe I just wasn't ready for a dog - no matter how ready I thought I was. 

I got to the point where I panicked at the thought of leaving her alone for an hour (she'll hate me, she'll cry, she'll howl, what will the neighbors think?)and panicked at the thought of not being able to live my life for at least 6 months.

Unfortunately I had to return her to the breeder (after all that!) since it seems I had developed an allergy to her fur. I kept her until I pretty much couldn't breathe and couldn't stop scratching. I'm working with an allergist and hope to be able to get another puppy soon.


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## Regi (Feb 16, 2008)

What kind of dog was she? Too bad you had to give her back thats hard I cant imagine I think if I was allergic Id keep my dogs till I blew up ha


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## lisaj1354 (Feb 23, 2008)

She was an Australian Terrier, which is a low/non-shedding breed. The breed is condiered practically allergy-free.

I had one growing up and I love the breed to pieces, but sometime between the ages of 21 and 51 I developed an allergy! I had basically scratched myself bloody before I called the breeder and asked about returning her. 

The breeder was great about it. I miss the puppy desperately every day and have to stop myself from picking up the phone and calling the breeder to ask if I can have her back.


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## Regi (Feb 16, 2008)

Whats worse for me is going on vacation and leaving them with my mom or when I go visit my in laws in Virginia I used to take Prince but she wont let me take both dogs so I cant take either one and its so hard to leave them

Isnt there a pill or something you can take so that u can have the dog back its sad you had to give her back.. and if you buy a new dog you may still be allergic


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## Mdawn (Mar 3, 2007)

I felt depressed after Eddie but for completely different reasons. When he showed up here, I fell in love right away. After a few days, I realized I had this puppy that was destroying my house, who was tearing everything up and peeing all over everything. He wouldn't stop biting me and I was a walking bruise from his nips. I couldn't get him to walk on a leash for anything and all he did is whine, whine, whine!! I was overwhelmed by everything and had no idea what to do about any of it. I felt depressed and felt like I wasn't cut out for raising puppies and actually thought he'd be better off somewhere else with someone who DID know what they were doing. I stuck through it with sheer determination that it WAS going to work and it has. Eddie is still a pain in the backside but he's MY pain in the backside and I wouldn't trade him for any number of well behaved dogs.


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## Chupa Cabras (Aug 31, 2007)

I'm going on 50, and I've had many dogs/cats/horses/goats/chickens/toomanycritterstoname, but they are not human, they do not replace our children, and they are not people. 

I love my dog, and the mother-instinct is strong, but when we instill human emotions on our pets, we're doing ourselves (and the animal) a huge injustice.

Dogs don't know how long we are away from home. They have no concept of time. They sleep and entertain themselves, and when we return, they are happy, but they don't judge us for being gone for X number of hours.

Yeah, it's late on a Friday night, and I'm on the computer reading one of my favorite forums, but I just have to comment.

To original poster: I don't know your details, but please remember not to validate yourself on what you can give to others, including animals. Age makes a difference. I'm going through mental-pause, and I may be certifiably insane, so take what I say with a grain of salt. 

fire away..

Oooh, and I 'clicked' the unforgiving "submit reply". That's okay. I meant what I said. 

Right now, my Woogie is destroying one of my shoes, laces and all. It's an old shoe, so I don't care.

Funny, I have not posted enough to 'belong' here, but I know everyone who posts cares a great deal about their dogs. 

I belong to another message board where I can say what I want, when I want, and I don't regret what I say. It's very liberating, to just blurt out what is going through my mind.

Not meaning to hijack this thread, because what the OP is feeling not unusual. I just wanted her to know that it's more than being an owner of a dog. It's life, and it's confusing, and it encompasses many aspects of our being.

Okay, goodnight...


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## Lurleen (Feb 9, 2008)

Hi Chupa Cabras, What you said is just great so don't worry about any of it! Thank you for the words of wisdom.

And thanks everyone for the continuing messages. Things are starting to look up. We even start obedience classes today!

=)


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## Regi (Feb 16, 2008)

Alot of what you say is true about dogs losing concept of time the frustrating part is when they forget they are potty trained ha and pee all over the place that is my husbands only complaint about dogs. I on the other hand have seen dogs that never pee on anything so I know it can be done I just dont know how to do it. The only thing is about dogs not remembering time they always know who the master is isnt that funny. They also remember alot of things like fave toys and I do believe they know when the master is gone and when they are alone to some extent. But it cant be helped and humans they cant help being human just like dogs cant help being dogs so humans will ALWAYS dress their dogs like kids and treat them like they understand and try to make them as human as possible. ha I talk to my dog like hes my best friend ha its funny how they try to understand what you are saying they tilt their head they are probably thinking to themselves what am i your phychiatrist > a__ H___e ha But I have incurable cancer and every day I think about dying you cant help it and I talk to my dog like I hes human all the time it helps


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## BobSD (Feb 1, 2008)

Well this would make a good book,"must read for the first time dog owner, puppy or adult". Knowing what your getting yourself into and how others were able to survive it why can't you! Having some one else to help, definitely makes the challange 1/2 as difficult. And it never really ends, my five year old girl soon to be six, jumped up on my bed this morning about 2am, walked on me to wake me up to let me know she was about to up-chuck this evening's meal, so I reacted quickly and tossed her on the carpet were she emptied her stomach content. I had to clean up the mess and thirty minutes later we were all sound asleep again counting sheep jumping over the fence, my dogs probably chasing rabbits around the yard. 
My life style has changed drastically since the little guys came into it. I used to stay out all day doing some gambling and drinking, coming home late, once going off a cliff coming home late at night, could have roll my truck over twenty times and and most likly would not be posting this , but I was lucky. Since they became part of my life I feel obligated to stay healthy to be there for them, and doing so has change my life style around. Are they worth it, you bet!!


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## triaxle32590 (Feb 19, 2008)

Wow I thought I was the only one that had these feelings.... And now I know its normal.... I do worry when Im away and that is what was bumming me out and when I would came home the pup was just fine...... But now we are doing great and I don't feel so bad for living my life....


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