# Is it wrong of me not to want my mother to get a dog?



## Silvicen (Dec 30, 2010)

Hi everyone, I feel the need to vent and get some feedback. 
I just got hung-up on by my mother because I told her that no reputable rescue would adopt to her because she want a pair of small outside only dogs. She started whining that she would go outside and spend time with them but she doesn't want dogs inside her house. The conversation started when she told me she wanted to get a pair of rat terriers which I do not think would fit with her temperment. She has had dogs before and had not always taken proper care of them. After our yellow lab died she left the other dog outside greiving so bad that the husky mix started having seizures. Also the husky mix broke a canine and my mother didn't want to pay the vet bill to have it fixed. She suffered for years until I had my pups over there cause the husky was giving them canine social lessons that I am not equipped to do ( like how to properly sniff butts) and I noticed a bright green opaque nasal discharge. It was taken care of 2 days later becuase I took her to the vet and sent my mother the bill. My mom says she will walk smaller dogs she gets, but I dont think so unless its to be a neighborhood showoff. She didn't walk her other dogs, only when I practically forced her, because they pulled. She doesn't have a dog right now because I wound up taking her husky away after she bonded with my dogs. 
I promised Casey, the yellow lab who I helped her find when I was a teenager, that I would never help her get another dog that she could treat the way she treated him. His total life was outside in the backyard. She even fenced off the patio area so he couldn't come up to the back door. 
I know that there are alot of dogs in shelters that need homes and I want to do everything I can to help them, but I just don't feel that my mother needs a dog knowing the way she will force them to stay outside all year long. Granted she does live in so cal so it usually doesn't get that cold but she sees them more as objects/status and not so much as family members. Even though she refers to mine as the grand dogs. All I can really say in her defense is that she does feed them, sometimes too much, provides them with water, flea care, vaccines and has them altered. But she has proven that if the medical care is too expensive (ie $400.00) she wont get it for them. 
I want her to get dogs if she is going to get my new 4 legged brother or sisters. She doesn't have to spoil them as much as I spoil mine. 
I also don't think she has the proper temperment to deal with a dog. Example, one of my dogs counter surfed, I was blaming my freind for leaving unattended meatballs on the counter, my mom blamed the dog. I thought don't trust a dog with your food was one of the rules of life. She doesn't want a dog to dig, I have a mooncratered landscape backyard. Front yard looks good though. She doesn't want the dog to ride in the car unless its necessary or really work on obedience. I used to teach basic obedience classes and need a bigger vehicle to fit the entire pack in while crated.
Sorry its so long, I just needed to vent.
Silvicen, mommy to 6 50lb+ k9 lap babies (when invited)


----------



## ratflinger (Jan 3, 2011)

So she wants to provide everything for the dog except the two things the dog really wants - Love & attention. I don't blame you for your stance, sounds logical to me.


----------



## Shandwill (Jul 23, 2010)

Your feelings sound justified to me. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.


----------



## Tavi (May 21, 2010)

Venting is good, it prevent us from smacking down people we really want to smack down... ^^ And yeah I can definitely see why you wouldn't want to see your mom get another dog...especially rat terriers...dogs whose very nature requires lots of exercise and training to be kept in a non-destructive mindset. And who generally don't do well at all as backyard dogs in the first place. Since their coats tend to be thin and they don't really have the protection for natural weather without really good shelters. Which it doesn't sound like your mom would be the type to pick up since good shelters cost money... And you are right though if your mom tells the rescue or shelter that she wants the little dogs for outdoor dogs I don't see any decent shelter allowing the adoption. Small dogs in particular are always easier to adopt than bigger dogs and finding the correct home for them is something they can spend time on. Shelters may not mind outdoor huskies or labs or such, but only with an owner with a proven home and background to show they're gonna spend time with the dog. Well at least as far as the shelters I've volunteered for...of course there are bad ones out there, so I'm just hoping your mom only knows how to reach good ones. ^^


----------



## Cracker (May 25, 2009)

This is sneaky but honestly I would do anything to prevent your mum from getting a dog from rescue...including calling all the local shelters and telling them that she would not be a good home. She doesn't have to know...

Not my usual style, this sort of suggestion..but when people don't listen to reason and there is a risk of a bad adoption choice..I'd do it.


----------



## Silvicen (Dec 30, 2010)

Thank you all for the moral support. I would totally call all the local shelters and warn them but unfortunately she lives in So. Cal. thats a loooong list of shelters, but if I hear of her talking with a shelter I will warn them. Without my support I know that has slowed her down alot and she hasn't mentioned getting a dog since then. Its a good thing since Im not in a position to take a little dog from her, at least nothing smaller that a JRT with my rambunctious heathens.


----------



## bigdoglover620 (Feb 21, 2011)

In the next year or so im gonna be starting my rescue(big doggies bully breeds,shepherds and rotties).and ill tell you i would never give her a dog,if thats how she treats them,soooo sad.90 percent of rescues do a detailed check on each adopter also do vet checks,references,home check, i work with a rescue now doing adoptions and dog fairs.im a very picky person when it comes to doing adoptions.im sooo glad your looking out for the babies they need a voice when it comes to your mother.


----------



## mongrelmomma (Mar 18, 2011)

I doubt any good rescue would adopt out to her. Unless she were to lie, which unfortunately is easy to do...sigh..just tell any rescue she looks as that she would NOT be a good home. Tell them what you told us.

I have a family member who I've grown to despise. She has a tiny, cluttered yard with two small dogs that she picked up from people who just handed them out for free (which drink dirty water, are locked up in a crate because they jump on children, weren't socialized and are never clean) yet wants to get a freakin' GSD, husky, or mastiff to "guard the house". Well, the mother is a super-crazy drunk, and I wouldn't be afraid to tell ANY rescue or shelter that.


----------



## RCloud (Feb 25, 2011)

I love my father to death, but he's the LAST person on earth who should ever own an animal of any kind.


----------

