# My dog is scared of my bf and pees



## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

Hello,
I have a Yorkie named Reece and she has been spoiled by me since I got her. She is almost 2 now. I have a boyfriend and we live together. I moved in with him and he said I could bring my dog with me if she behaves and gets trained more. When we met I knew he didn't really like my dog (he says he doesn't like small dogs) but she is so sweet and cute I thought she would grow on him. He asked me to move in with him and promised he would try harder with her. He now states he can't take it anymore (cause she now pees when it's just her and him alone) He knows how much I love her but he states that she is just an animal and I'm putting her above him. He says I should give her up because he hates her so much but I say you can't make people give up the things they love and what makes them happy. He says if I hated something of his he would give it up for me. I don't think I would make someone I love give up something I hate no matter how much I didn't like it. Do you agree? I do have resentment that he is trying to make me give her up. This is our only issue but it is a big issue for me. I see her as a family member. He sees her as just an animal and I should be able to give her away if needed cause she's just an animal. He does not want to base his life around pets- (where to live- if they allow pets or not). He had 2 cats and gave them up because he had to move and the first place he found that he liked did not allow animals. Instead of looking at other places he gave the cats up. I tried to explain that people who love their pets do not do that- they will look for a place that allows pets. He does not agree with me. He says he loved his cats and says he misses them but they are just animals and did not want to base his life around animals. I just can't see how he could even consider giving them up if he loved them especially since he choose the first place he looked. 

But anyway he disciplines my dog Reece when he feels she is bad. (if she begs, does not come when called, does not go to her room/bed when told...things like that) He will either spank her on her butt or tell her bad dog and send her to a timeout. She is now scared of him and pees when he punishes her. She also does not alway listen to him. I have been working with her and she listens to me all the time now. I punish her as well when she is bad but I may just tap her slightly cause I don't want to hurt her- just get her attention. I also give positive re-enforcement more than he does. She never pees when I punish her. I tell him my dog is just scared of him and will learn but he states I have spoiled her and never trained her so that is why she is peeing with him (cause she's not used to discipline) He states I need to train her to get her to listen to everybody. How do I do that? She only pees with him. She is fine with me and my parents. My boyfriend gets very frustrated with her when she doesn't listen to him (when he tells her to sit or come here). He also doesn't like her and I tried to explain that she can sense that but he doesn't believe me. He will not let her back in our house until he states she is trained and he doesn't have to walk on egg shells around her so she doesn't pee. Help please! She is currently at my parent's house. I miss her so much! 
Dana


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## Durbkat (Jun 26, 2007)

A dog will never obey a person who they fear. Also you shouldn't use physical punishment with a dog, only verbal. Such as, "ah ah" or "no". What you all are doing is illegal, its called animal abuse.


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

Excuse me, but if it's your house why is the boyfriend making the rules?
My opinion, ditch the boyfriend. The dog will be a longer lasting, more rewarding relationship. Just my opinion.

In all seriousness.. it's your house, why is he deciding who stays and who goes? You need to decide who is more important to you..


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## Durbkat (Jun 26, 2007)

Also you can't expect a dog to do those things because you hit it, you have to train it with positive reinforcment.


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## terryjeanne (Jul 13, 2007)

Okay. You asked for help, here's my 2 cents.

No guy comes into my house and makes the rules about my dog. It's your house and HE decides when your beloved dog comes back?

Maybe she has a good reason not to like him. And if she's afraid of him, why the He!! would she come when he called---so he could punish her again???

Does she behave around everyone else, ie: your friends, neighbours, strangers??


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## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

Durbkat said:


> A dog will never obey a person who they fear. Also you shouldn't use physical punishment with a dog, only verbal. Such as, "ah ah" or "no". What you all are doing is illegal, its called animal abuse.


Just to clarify I don't hit her. I just tell her no and usually reward her with attition once the bad behavior stops (like begging). I have patted her butt before but just to get her attetion. I don't ever want to hurt her so I don't spank her. He does not do this and thinks spanking her on the butt is the answer (like his dad spanked him). I personally don't agree since I was never punished by touch myself but he states many people punish this way and there is nothing wrong with it.


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

Nola0841 said:


> Just to clarify I don't hit her. I just tell her no and usually reward her with attition once the bad behavior stops (like begging). I have patted her butt before but just to get her attetion. I don't ever want to hurt her so I don't spank her. He does not do this and thinks spanking her on the butt is the answer (like his dad spanked him). I personally don't agree since I was never punished by touch myself but he states many people punish this way and there is nothing wrong with it.


In case you missed it the first time... why is this new comer making the rules in your household? Who is more important to you? Maybe your dog has good reason to dislike this guy. Just my opinion...


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## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

Renoman said:


> Excuse me, but if it's your house why is the boyfriend making the rules?
> My opinion, ditch the boyfriend. The dog will be a longer lasting, more rewarding relationship. Just my opinion.
> 
> In all seriousness.. it's your house, why is he deciding who stays and who goes? You need to decide who is more important to you..



When we met I knew he didn't really like my dog (he says he doesn't like small dogs) but she is so sweet and cute I thought she would grow on him. He asked me to move in with him and promised he would try harder with her. He now states he can't take it anymore (cause she now pees when it's just her and him alone) He knows how much I love her but he states that she is just an animal and I'm putting her above him. He says I should give her up because he hates her so much but I say you can't make people give up the things they love and what makes them happy. He says if I hated something of his he would give it up for me. I don't think I would make someone I love give up something I hate no matter how much I didn't like it. Do you agree? I do have resentment that he is trying to make me give her up. I'm just grateful my parents are watching her until I decide what to do about the relationship. This is our only issue but it is a big issue for me. I see her as a family member. He sees her as just an animal and I should be able to give her away if needed cause she's just an animal. He does not want to base his life around pets- (where to live- if they allow pets or not) Thanks for you help.
Dana



terryjeanne said:


> Okay. You asked for help, here's my 2 cents.
> 
> No guy comes into my house and makes the rules about my dog. It's your house and HE decides when your beloved dog comes back?
> 
> ...


We actually moved in together and I did compermise and went from 2 dogs to 1 for him. That's now not good enough for him and that was hard enough for me (my other dog is currently staying with my parents- I would never give them up completely for him). He states she is not trained and is a bad dog. She is the sweetest dog ever! She listens to me and to my parents (they don't train her to do tricks or anything and don't get upset if she doesn't come when called- like to play) But she does always come when called if she is outside and is being called back in. My parents love her so she loves them. She is housebroken and does not pee with them either. He just doesn;t see this. He thinks I spoiled her and don't punish her enough when needed so when he does it she sees him as the bad guy and gets scared and pees cause she's not used to punishment by me. I only thing she does do is whine and beg but that is my fault and I am working to break those habits. She doesn't bark or anything else that would annoy people. I just don't know how to train her not to be scared of him or how to get him to understand why she is acting this way towards him. He jsut thinks I'm just making excuses for her. Thanks for your help.
Dana


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## Cheetah (May 25, 2006)

If a guy came into my life and tried to make rules about MY pets, and/or laid a FINGER on them, I'd be showing him the door. I already dealt with it once before, and trust me, you'll be miserable if you allow him to control your life with your pets. This is coming from somebody who has been there. I would seriously find somebody who accepts you for YOU, and YOU come WITH animals and he'd better like it.

What your boyfriend is doing to your dog is abuse, and it's completely unnecessary... Also, people who start out abusing animals are likely to abuse people in the future... be careful.


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## Jen D (Apr 23, 2007)

I hope you are on birth control and if I were you I would also move back in with my parents! Are you going to move a baby in with your parents also if he decides he doesn't like it? My lab saw three husbands before she passed away of old age. Yorkie or Mastiff in my opinion they all think like a dog and I think you should think of taking your little one to obedience classes to build her self esteem. Good luck and get rid of the jerk, my husband now loved the Chi I rescued before I adopted it out and the big dogs I have had. The husband is over six feet tall and has two black belts in two different martial arts but you would never know it when he is with any dog.


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

Nola0841 said:


> When we met I knew he didn't really like my dog (he says he doesn't like small dogs) but she is so sweet and cute I thought she would grow on him. He asked me to move in with him and promised he would try harder with her. He now states he can't take it anymore (cause she now pees when it's just her and him alone) He knows how much I love her but he states that she is just an animal and I'm putting her above him. He says I should give her up because he hates her so much but I say you can't make people give up the things they love and what makes them happy. He says if I hated something of his he would give it up for me. I don't think I would make someone I love give up something I hate no matter how much I didn't like it. Do you agree? I do have resentment that he is trying to make me give her up. I'm just grateful my parents are watching her until I decide what to do about the relationship. This is our only issue but it is a big issue for me. I see her as a family member. He sees her as just an animal and I should be able to give her away if needed cause she's just an animal. He does not want to base his life around pets- (where to live- if they allow pets or not) Thanks for you help.
> Dana
> 
> 
> ...



If you're asking for validation... based on your postings.. dump him. You cannot change anyone - I base that statement on first hand experience. If you are willing to give up your most loved dog for this guy... what else is he going to want you to give up... your dog's instincts as far as this guy is concerned are right on.

Are you that desperate? I would hope not. 

As far as I'm concerned there isn't a guy out there that would be more important to me than my dogs. Do you feel that strongly for him that you're willing to forsake your best friend (and I mean that literally) for this guy? If he cannot accept your dogs (whatever their personalities/traits) I would be kicking his a$$ to the curb. From what you post.. he's not worth it. Just my opinion, but I would call him a 'control freak'.


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## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

Thank You! I agree with you. It's just sometimes hard to believe you are right when someone is talling you that you are wrong. That he should come before her. He says everyone he talks to says the same thing- that I should be able to give her up for him if he can't take it. I told him from the beginning if I had to choose between him or the dogs I would choose the dogs. He got so upset and kept saying they are only animals and the person you love should come first. I guess the reason it's taking me so long to leave is because I got out of a abusive marriage 2 years ago and I just want to find and be happy in love. He seemed to be that person except for the dog issue. I know that the right guy is someone who would never make you give up something you love. He jsut calls me selfish for that. I was hoping he would grow up and see it my way. I now don;t see that happening.

Thanks for all your help. It means a lot and I am very grateful!

Thank You! You are so right. This is leading down a bad path and I need to end it. Thanks for your advice! I will be careful and figure a way out.



Cheetah said:


> If a guy came into my life and tried to make rules about MY pets, and/or laid a FINGER on them, I'd be showing him the door. I already dealt with it once before, and trust me, you'll be miserable if you allow him to control your life with your pets. This is coming from somebody who has been there. I would seriously find somebody who accepts you for YOU, and YOU come WITH animals and he'd better like it.
> 
> What your boyfriend is doing to your dog is abuse, and it's completely unnecessary... Also, people who start out abusing animals are likely to abuse people in the future... be careful.


Thank You! You are so right. This is leading down a bad path and I need to end it. Thanks for your advice! I will be careful and figure a way out.


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

What I find saddest of all is that we as women seem to attract the 'same kind of men'. If we're in one abusive situation, the men we seek out and attach ourselves to are just as abusive although sometimes in a different way. 

If you see that and can remove yourself from a potentially abusive situation, you are one step ahead of the game and you deserve a huge round of applause. 

I hope you can remove yourself from this situation and find someone who will accept you for who you are and your dogs as well. You do not need to 'settle' for anything less. Don't wait for him to change, it will never happen. Get yourself and your dog out of there as soon as possible.


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## terryjeanne (Jul 13, 2007)

He says you should give her up because he hates her.....

What will you have to give up next???? Your best girlfriend because he hates her too??? Your other hobbies???

You already resent him.... Honey, the guy that really loves and treasures you will accept your dog because she's your FAMILY.

I don't think your dog is untrained. My old dog didn't always come when called because he didn't want to come in. ( he liked sitting outside watching the neighbourhood, leashed of course). He would also sit and stare at my husband while he ate until he got a nibble and then he left. That would bother some people, but not us.


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## Cheetah (May 25, 2006)

I loved my dogs and my ex both equally. I considered them to be of equal importance to me. But when HE told me to choose, that to me automatically made the dogs more important, because they'd never make me choose.

HE is selfish for considering himself more important just because he's a human. The dogs were there first, and your dog will stick by your side and be there for you always, unconditionally, when the boyfriends come and go. Be strong and I hope you're able to make the right decision.


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## Jen D (Apr 23, 2007)

You sound like you are most likley young, love your dog very much, and gave idiot a chance and he didn't follow through so now is the time. Take it from people that have been there and it sound like your dog loves you more then the bf.


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## terryjeanne (Jul 13, 2007)

Renoman said:


> What I find saddest of all is that we as women seem to attract the 'same kind of men'. If we're in one abusive situation, the men we seek out and attach ourselves to are just as abusive although sometimes in a different way.
> 
> If you see that and can remove yourself from a potentially abusive situation, you are one step ahead of the game and you deserve a huge round of applause.
> 
> I hope you can remove yourself from this situation and find someone who will accept you for who you are and your dogs as well. You do not need to 'settle' for anything less. Don't wait for him to change, it will never happen. Get yourself and your dog out of there as soon as possible.


You are absolutely right.


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## Durbkat (Jun 26, 2007)

Nola0841 said:


> Just to clarify I don't hit her. I just tell her no and usually reward her with attition once the bad behavior stops (like begging). I have patted her butt before but just to get her attetion. I don't ever want to hurt her so I don't spank her. He does not do this and thinks spanking her on the butt is the answer (like his dad spanked him). I personally don't agree since I was never punished by touch myself but he states many people punish this way and there is nothing wrong with it.


Sorry for misunderstanding. When you said punish and then said the dog pee'd when he was around the boyfriend that made me think the dog was afraid of the bf because he hit the dog when he didn't do what was asked of him.


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## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

No problem. My dog was not used to hearing the word no as much once he came around and he does gets on to her a lot but I would never let him physically hurt my dog. He does raise his voice to her so she can tell he is upset and then puts her in the bathroom for a timeout if she doesn't listen. I think he gets on her too much especially since I've been working with her to get her better trained and she is still learning. He doesn't like some of the things that I think are cute. Like when I get home she is excited to see me. He wants her to stay on the floor and wait for me to go to her, not her come to me. I also believe he thinks she is supposed to get better overnight. With him around it's harder too cause I have patience when she doesn't do something on the first command and he doesn't. I think she gets nervous and confused with him and then is not sure what to do. She knows I love her but I think she's scared of him cause she can tell he does not like her.


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## prolibertate (Nov 7, 2007)

Nola, dogs are pretty smart...and if your dog doesn't like him, it sounds like she has good reason for it. He sounds controlling, selfish, and abusive, IMO...and I'd worry about not only what he was doing to the dog but what he might do to me down the road. Anyone who could hit a dog, and especially a small one, and think that's good to do, is someone I don't want to be around, and someone I don't want my dog around. 

Unfortunately, many people who have gotten into an abusive relationship (physical and/or mental abuse) tend to fall into the same type of relationship again, especially if the guy doesn't seem anything like their last, abusive one in the beginning. I hope you don't have one like this, but as you're the one in the relationship only you can truly see what's going on and decide if it's what you want or not. Look at things clearly and don't make excuses for his behavior; see him from the aspect of it was a guy dating one of your best friends and would you think his behavior to her was fine or not; then see what you think about him with you. I hope he's not abusive, and sees that not accepting the dog means he may lose you, and straightens up...but if he doesn't, I hope you'll do what's best for you, and for your dog. Best of luck to you.


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## lovemygreys (Jan 20, 2007)

Durbkat said:


> A dog will never obey a person who they fear. Also you shouldn't use physical punishment with a dog, only verbal. Such as, "ah ah" or "no". What you all are doing is illegal, its called animal abuse.


That is ridiculous. Physical corrections are not all "abuse." Lord knows I've swatted my dogs on their hiney's to get their attention...and they are hardly abused.  

That said...why in the world is a mere _BOYFRIEND_ be determining the fate of your dog - where it lives...how it's corrected, etc? Any guy who caused my dog to be afraid of him due to his harsh treatment would soon be an EX. You need to dump that loser. Any guy that has to beat up on a yorkie is pathetic.


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## Durbkat (Jun 26, 2007)

I said that before I read that they weren't actually spanking and hitting the dog for not obeying.


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## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

Thanks for all the helpful advice. I have added more information to my post to give you a deeper background and understanding. Any new advice to go with the new info would be wonderful! Thank you!
Dana


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

You know, I really don't see what the problem is here. If you break it down, it's pretty damn simple...

He says you should give up your dog if you love him because he dislikes it. He already convinced you to give up one dog, now he's working on the second. Do you see a pattern here? 

Okay, how about this.. if _*he*_ loved *you *he would not even consider asking you to give up your dogs because of him... he would try to be more tolerant and learn to at least co-exist with them for your sake ... if in fact he loved you.

Things are too f'ing one sided here... all my red flags are waving and alarms are going off. 

The only good thing here is that both dogs are safely out of his reach at your parents house. I would be afraid of what he would do when I was not around if the dogs were still there. 

I don't mean to sound rude or uncaring. I'm sorry if that's how it comes across. I wish I had you sitting next to me and I could shake some sense into you. Based on your posts, this is a situation that can go from bad to worse in a heartbeat. Next thing you know, (and others have already posted this) he's going to want you to stop seeing your family/friends because he doesn't like them and 'if you loved him' you would do it.. What is *he* doing for *you*? 

I was with a man for 4 years. I had 2 dogs at the time. He spent lots of time at my place with the dogs. He started talking about buying a house together. Then he started with things like 'when we buy a house together the dogs won't be inside', 'when we buy a house the dogs won't be this or that'. Guess what? We never bought a house together. In fact, I abruptly ended the relationship - so I know what it's like.


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## Lorina (Jul 1, 2006)

My ex boyfriend got upset when I brought my childhood cat to live with me when I bought my house.

Note use of the word "ex." 

If this is how the guy reacts to something as simple as a little dog not listening to him, how do you think he'd handle the inevitable stress of being married, having kids, etc. Do you want a guy who'd spank your future children? Do you want kids who'll be terrified of their father?

Rip it off like a bandaid.


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## SMoore (Nov 9, 2007)

I have to agree with what has already been said. I have 2 of my own dogs and my parents have two dogs that I consider mine as well. My dogs are my family and if anyone else wants to join my family they have to accept us, all of us. 

If someone wants me in their life they have to accept me and my family. There are no exceptions to this rule. It's sort of an all or none deal with me.

I have found someone that is willing to tolerate the weeks it may take to potty train, the 5am wake up calls because the puppy needs to go out, the little accidents on the floor. He accepts all of this because he loves me and wants to be part of my "pack" should I say  

If this guy loved you, he would at least accept your family. My boyfriend is more of a cat-person. I've never been fond of cats (i dont know why either!) but i like big dogs. We've been able to make it work and i think his cats are growing on me (and not just because I give them tuna, either)

There has to be compromise in any healthy relationship and for yours it seems like YOU are having to do all the work. A dog is a big responsibility. Your pet will continue to love you despite whatever decision you make.

Can you say that much for your boyfriend?

There are plenty of guys out there, and plenty of guys who love dogs as much as you do. I think you should give it a break, see if your boyfriend comes around and if not then I think you have your answer.


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## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

Okay, how about this.. if _*he*_ loved *you *he would not even consider asking you to give up your dogs because of him... he would try to be more tolerant and learn to at least co-exist with them for your sake ... if in fact he loved you.

I agree with you and have told him this. His argument is I should not make him live with something he hates- something that makes him unhappy. He says if there was something I hated of his he would give it up on the spot because he loves me. How am I to respond to that? Thanks for your help


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## Lorina (Jul 1, 2006)

I'd ask him how he could hate something that you love so much and gives you such joy? I mean... they're _*dogs*_. It's not like giving up cigarettes, drugs or alcohol that are harmful to you.

Your descriptions of him just scream out "control freak" to me.


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## Dakota Spirit (Jul 31, 2007)

Nola0841 said:


> I agree with you and have told him this. His argument is I should not make him live with something he hates- something that makes him unhappy. He says if there was something I hated of his he would give it up on the spot because he loves me. How am I to respond to that? Thanks for your help


I assume you had these dogs when you met him - correct? What did he think...if you two fell in love you'd drop everything you liked just to make him happy? That is beyond ridiculous.

His argument is also ridiculous. It would be equally legitimate for you to tell him that were he truly in love with you, he would not make you give up something that makes *you* so happy and brings *you* so much joy. This isn't like having him give up weekend golf outings so you can spend more time together. Dogs are living, breathing creatures. You don't just 'give them up'.



Lorina said:


> I'd ask him how he could hate something that you love so much and gives you such joy? I mean... they're _*dogs*_. It's not like giving up cigarettes, drugs or alcohol that are harmful to you.
> 
> Your descriptions of him just scream out "control freak" to me.


Lol, you said it a lot better then I did.


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## prolibertate (Nov 7, 2007)

I'd say we all kind of agree that Nola's is being 'verbally and/or emotionally abused' in a way by her SO. And I'd say that many agree that we wouldn't swat our kids on the hiney or elsewhere to get their attention, as that would seem a bit overkill and could be construed as abuse...So why should it be any different if it's done to a dog - who doesn't understand English, no matter how many times we say something or how loud we say it? I don't see a need to hit or tap a child for anything, and I don't see the need to do it to an animal either. Positive reinforcement works much better and quicker, whether it's done to an animal or a human. Don't Shoot the Dog by Karen Pryor lays this out so well that even a novice can understand it and grasp how to do it...even to their SO


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## whimsy (Aug 19, 2007)

Have to agree with everyone else here---dump the boyfriend. You can always tell what kind of personality a person has by the way they feel about animals. In this case I think you should take a cue from your dog---she fears him for something she senses in him. My dogs would never become second best to anyone.


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## MyAntsRMarching (Oct 24, 2007)

This thread is awesome... went from Dog Training to Dr. Phil 

Lots of good advice in this thread though... I wish I had a GF that loves dogs as much as I do! HAHA
Cheers,
Chris


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## elkhound (Nov 27, 2007)

DUMP HIM. he's not a good person.

Also, female dogs generally pee twice. give her time to nose around and pee again and take her out at regular time intervals, that way she can learn to hold it longer. and watch her, she will tell you when she has to go.
they're smarter than we are.


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## mastiffmama27 (Nov 18, 2007)

To the OP: Ok I'm going to sound like an overprotective mother here (which I am but that's besides the point). My ex husband (note the EX) started out abusing my pets, then he started hitting me, then he started in on my/our kids. This kind of behavior escalates!! I have not read all the posts but at least one other poster mentioned 'control freak'. I agree. First he's making you get rid of your pets, a source of comfort and security to you.....what's next? Maybe he'll talk ou into not talking to your parents? (trust me it happened to me he said they were 'interfering in our life') Honey get away from this guy. He's bad news. Trust your dog. Their instincts are better than ours. NO ONE ever gets into my house that my dogs don't trust anymore. If my dog doesn't trust you/is afraid of you ect neither do I. Feel free to PM me if you want.


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## jhawk (Feb 15, 2007)

NEVER HIT A DOG. no wonder she is afraid of him and pees. If any asked me to give up my dog because they did not like her I would give up that person not the dog. I could understand it if the dog is aggressive toward bf but NOt simply because he doesn't like little dogs. Sounds like a control freak to me. I agree with mastiffmama. Dog have better instincts about people than we do. Case in point. The only person my dog Cheyenne ever growled at turned out to be abusing a co-worker of mine. I didn't know it at the time(found out later) but my dog did.


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## Nola0841 (Nov 17, 2007)

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I wanted to see how things would progress to give an accurate update. Things have gotten better. My bf is becoming more involved with Reece. He is not spanking her or raising his voice anymore and of course she is responding better to that. She still seems a little skittish at times with him but I can see a difference. He took her for a walk the other day and that seems to help too. I hurt my bf's feelings one day and he came home and let Reece out and she came up to him to confort him. She stayed by his side. I think that got him to realize a little more why I love her so much. He is trying but he may be trying to hard to try. If you have to try so hard it's not going to work. He is leaving for Europe to visit his family in a few days and that will be the test of our relationship. I was supposed to go but I have so many doubts about us I don't think it would be fair. Also he does have some growing up to do and maybe after talking to his family about it he'll see he's mor ein the wrong. If not I'll move out once he gets back.

I do have a new problem now that has been going on for about a month. Reece will now go number one outside but is going number 2 inside. She stays in the bathroom while I am at work and never goes in there on her pad. She always seems to sneak into the exercise room and either goes in the closet or a corner in that room. I never see her do it but I always find it in the same places. When I do find it how should I react? I've been calling her over to it and I will just point at it and tell her "No, you potty outside" (not yelling but more stern voice than usual) What is the most effective way to break her of this habit? 
Thank you,
Dana


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## Muse (Jan 8, 2008)

hey there. i really dont agree.no need to kick boyfriend out,if you dont want to end up being a single freaky lady in the future,thats obsessed with her dog,keeo the dog and keep the boyfriend,but let him choose,turn the situation around,u ask him "do you love me?" if he sez yes than say than why he lets a dog stand inbetween u two even if the dog doesnt relaly,its his issue,the dog doesnt dislike him,he dislikes the dog. Tell him straight that u wont get rid of the dog,or if he sez y ask him would he get rid of his best friend? just say i dont like ur best friend get rid of it? im sure he wouldnt do that would he? if he really loves you he will find a way to deal with the problem. and if he doesnt try then he will leave himself but that wll just mean he didnt really love you much on the first place and that sooner or later he would have been gone anyway.


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## trumpetjock (Dec 14, 2007)

It's simple. If you had a baby from a previous relationship, and this guy came in and started spanking the kid for pooping in it's diaper, yelled at it for playing when he didn't want it to, and kicked it when he didn't come over to him when he told it to, what would you do? Even further, what would you do if after all that he said he "couldn't take it" and told you to put it up for adoption (which more realistically would be asking you to KILL it since over 80% of all shelter animals end up euthanized)?

This is absolutely ludicrous that you have let it get this far. He's abused your baby and asked you to give it up.

edit -- missed your last post about it getting a bit better. I really hope this works out for you, but keep a VERY watchful eye on this guy. This type of hate might be able to be suppressed for a while, but it always lurks just under the surface.


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