# I can't get over my recent dog's death..I don't know what to do.



## Korey72590 (Jun 29, 2009)

Randomly a few days ago, I woke up to a text message saying, "Michael Jackson is dead". I couldn't believe it, I ran straight out of my room to tell my mom. On my way to tell my mom, I jumped over my dog of almost thirteen years, Saydee. As I told my mom we both just couldn't believe it. As we walked downstairs to watch the news to confirm the news of Mj's death, my mom noticed my dog was shivering, and looked sickly sitting in her favorite spot(right above the stairs). She looked like a different dog. I could hardly recognize her. My mom then said," She probably just has the flu or cold I will take her to the vet tomorrow if she isn't feeling better. We gave her a few aspirin but she didn't feel much better the next day. I knew something was wrong..very wrong. But, I didn't want to jump to the conclusion that she was dieing because she was PERFECTLY fine the day before, we even took her on a long walk and she seemed happy and has been for months. We knew she was getting older because she walked slower and couldn't jump up on the bed by herself anymore, but she seemed to be doing fine..like she could live a few more years.

When we took Saydee to the Vet in the afternoon the next day, the Vet said that her stomach was very hard and full. He wanted to do an xray of her abdomen just to make sure her stomach hadn't turned or she had cancer. At this point she was starting to throw up and didn't have much of an appetite at all. She began to look slimmer in the face and loosing hair. As I walked into the Vet's room after making a short call, I saw an XRAY that would change my life forever(and I don't know if it is for the better..or how I will move on). Saydee had a tumor the size of a softball in her stomach that was pushing against her kidney and liver. I couldn't believe it. I had joked around for the past twelve years about how the few lumps i felt on her might have been cancer but my mom would always reply," stop it! Saydee is fine and has many years left". 

After feeling a sense of surreal shock, devistated, I broke down in tears. I couldn't believe this was happening to my dog. I immediately became consumed by anger. I was so angry that I allowed a softball sized tumor grow in my beloved dogs stomach for the past years. The Vet told us even if we operated on the tumor that her body probably couldn't handle the stress, and that she was old. He tried to comfort us by saying," if I was a dog and lived until twelve-thirteen and died of cancer but lived a fun filled life I would be a happy dog". But, this didn't help me at all. I felt like my heart had been ripped apart. I just couldn't stop asking myself why this was happening to me. I had never really thought of how my life would be without my dog Saydee. I couldn't envision my life without her. 

We took my dog home and tried to spend quality time with her until we knew she was ready to go. Over the next few days, we tried to feed her but she wouldn't eat on her own, we had to fore feed her. For the first few days she could walk up the stairs by herself, but she didn't seem to be herself. It eventually got worse. She started to do wierd things such as sit by herself on the side of our house in the bushes, stare at one place for hours at end. She even tried to dig a hole randomly at night in our backyard, like she was trying to dig her grave. It became harder and harder to watch Saydee suffer. I couldn't sleep for two days. The constant memories of her and thought of her not being their filled my mind. Decreasing my apetite to almost nothing. I have lost 5 pounds since the news of her demise. Saydee loved my Mother the most, she was like her little sidekick. When my mom was around Saydee or if Saydee saw her, she would become ecstatic and happy. Her tail would wag non stop. We knew it was time to put her to sleep when she wouldn't even look at my Mother, let alone wag her tail. It is like she had given up on life..it was so heartbreaking to watch. We decided to put her to sleep yesterday. It was the worst day of my life. I held her neck during her euthanization. I thought I wouldn't cry because I had cried so much over the past few days..but when I saw the saringe full of morphine I broke down in tears. I didn't want to let her go, I felt a part of me would never be the same. I became bitter. Feeling the life of my beloved dog excrete from her body was the worst feeling in the world, and watching her body twitches after was like torture. I don't know how to get better. I can't stop thinking about her, and wishing I could relive the thirteen years with her. I feel like my mind is plagued forever. What hurts even more, is that for the past four years we have been just calling Saydee a fat dog. Little did we know...she wasn't fat, but had a tumor taking over her stomach. I feel so guilty, like I should have taken her to the vet more or known.









RIP Saydee May 
Nov 97- June 27 2009

Many people might read this and say, "Saydee was just a dog you will be fine". But Saydee was more than just a dog to me. She was my best friend, my will to move on. I just wish I could see her one last time as a healthy dog. When I come home to find just one dog waiting at the door for me..I always break down in tears. Saydee May Puliyanda was my best friend and the sweetest heart I have met thus far in my life. I only wish I will have the opportunity to meet a another dog with such a heart. Most of me just feels bitter, I don't even think I want another dog in my lifetime. No dog will replace Saydee.


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## wvasko (Dec 15, 2007)

That was a lot of personal info and not necessary, it sounds like your dog did a marvelous job while here. I believe she would prefer you get another dog to take over watching over you. Look at it this way, you say how much your dog helped you maybe it's time for payback. Somewhere there is a dog out there that could use your help. Wouldn't that be nice? It's a personal decision though. Sorry for your loss


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## RedyreRottweilers (Dec 17, 2006)

All living things die, but that does not make it any easier when our hearts are broken by loss of a dear one.

I lost a dog nearly 8 years ago and I still grieve her, but I would not have missed "the dance" with her for anything.

Deepest sympathy on your loss.


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## Cracker (May 25, 2009)

I am sorry to hear about your loss of Saydee. It's never easy and it is still very recent. You did the right thing by sending her to the bridge and she will be with you in spirit. Our pets do not live as long as we do and that is the heartbreak inherent in each and every one...but they give us so much joy that the heartbreak must be tempered by a gratitude that we have them as long as we do.
Give yourself time to mourn. Someday the pain will be lessened and the hole filled with the good memories that don't hurt as much.

And to the rest..yes it may be a TMI sort of situation for the OP, but I get a sense this is a very young person and a first personal loss. Be gentle.


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## GSDGAL (May 27, 2009)

Cracker said:


> I am sorry to hear about your loss of Saydee. It's never easy and it is still very recent. You did the right thing by sending her to the bridge and she will be with you in spirit. Our pets do not live as long as we do and that is the heartbreak inherent in each and every one...but they give us so much joy that the heartbreak must be tempered by a gratitude that we have them as long as we do.
> Give yourself time to mourn. Someday the pain will be lessened and the hole filled with the good memories that don't hurt as much.
> 
> And to the rest..yes it may be a TMI sort of situation for the OP, but I get a sense this is a very young person and a first personal loss. Be gentle.


well she talked about her high school years as if they were in the past, which gives me the idea that she is early 20's....that being said she is obviously fraught with a myriad of negative emotions and hasn't learnt to properly express them...again losing a dog is a devastating thing, so sorry


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## Elana55 (Jan 7, 2008)

Korey.. for your own well being, I suggest you go in and edit out the personal info in your post. I know you feel really bad about losing your dog and from reading the rest of the information I gently suggest you get some counseling. There is a lot more going on here in addition to the grief over your dog passing. 

No pet is "just an animal" and like anything you love there is a grieving process. Time will help you.. not right now with the pain and loss fresh.. but in time it will get better.


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## six pack (May 10, 2009)

Saydee was / is obviously very special to you. Give yourself time to grieve. What you are going through is one of the stages of grieving but you can not blame yourself or allow yourself to believe that you knew she was dying and did nothing. Those lumps and bumps on the outside that you saw could have very well been lipomas which are not cancerous. Guilt is another stage of grief. It is normal to question whether something could have been done or why we didnt notice but try not to allow it to consume you. While Saydee was with you, it seems she devoted herself to you and offered you comfort when you needed it the most. She would not want you to feel this way. With a love so profound, you wont get over it in a couple days. The pain will lessen as each day passes. Try to focus on the good that she brought into your life rather than her death. If and when you are ready for another dog, you will know and if you allow it, your next dog will be just as special maybe in some likeness to Saydee or perhaps in his or her own way.
Deepest sympathies to you.


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## skelaki (Nov 9, 2006)

Is anyone else just a bit skeptical about this?


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## RedyreRottweilers (Dec 17, 2006)

Wow, the compassion here is amazing!!


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## trumpetjock (Dec 14, 2007)

skelaki said:


> Is anyone else just a bit skeptical about this?


You really thinks someone would take the time to register on a forum and craft this massive story as their first post, for absolutely no personal gain? Stranger things have happened, but I doubt it.

I am sorry for your loss.


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## LoupGarouTFTs (Oct 27, 2007)

trumpetjock said:


> You really thinks someone would take the time to register on a forum and craft this massive story as their first post, for absolutely no personal gain? Stranger things have happened, but I doubt it.
> 
> I am sorry for your loss.


Actually, this kind of information dump is pretty common in attention-seeking posts, in which woe upon woe is heaped to make the story more "interesting." If I am wrong in agreeing with Skelaki about the apparent nature of this post, then I apologize to the OP and extend my condolences; however, since it is now summertime and school is out, I always turn a skeptical eye to this kind of post.


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## Korey72590 (Jun 29, 2009)

Ya, I am not sure why anyone would think this is fake. I thought this forum was a place for us to express our stories concerning our dogs. I thought writing this on the forum would help me express my emotions and inevitably provide me with closure. It helped ALOT, and I am starting to get over the constant grief.


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## sheltiemom (Mar 13, 2007)

RedyreRottweilers said:


> Wow, the compassion here is amazing!!


I too am a little  about the hostility.

OP, I'm sorry for your loss. All of us here know and understand that she wasn't "just a dog". It means so much to have someone who is always there for you and doesn't judge. It sounds like you have alot of worries right now...my advise to you is to take a chance and tell someone in real life how you feel and what's going on with you.


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## WendyLady (Jun 28, 2009)

Hi hon -

When I lost my first dog, it took me a long time to get over it. Certainly longer than just a few days. Your time frame on the post didn't quite make sense to me, but it sounds like this just happened.

Give yourself some time. After my Ingrid passed away, I didn't really want anything to do with any other dogs for 3-4 years.

Right now we're dealing with one very elderly dog & one dog that has a serious unknown illness - and we're already in the process of getting approved to foster homeless dogs. When we lose our dogs, we're going to foster and help dogs until we're ready to have another dog of our own.

I really recommend volunteering - I'm sure your local animal shelter could use some help! Even now I'm volunteering, walking rescue dogs that are being kenneled until they get foster homes, since neither of my dogs can walk or do much of anything anymore. Volunteering & helping other dogs is a great way to heal.

W


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## Lilly's Mom (Jun 3, 2009)

I am terribly sorry for your loss and the lack of compassion by some here.


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## ValtheAussie (Apr 19, 2009)

I am very sorry for your loss. I can empathize with you because we lost our girl after 14 years and she was a very wonderful dog, too.

I hope that with time, you get over your loss. 

It's a hard time so take it easy on yourself.


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## Erick Aguilar (Jun 9, 2008)

However... almost 13 years is a VERY good life for a dog! I'm glad she lived that much to be with you.


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## Katzyn (Mar 22, 2007)

Some people feel a bit better after sharing such personal feeling on the internet. I, myself am having immense trouble getting over the death of Sierra, my cockatiel, who died almost exactly one year ago, and talking about her in real life makes me cry hysterically, so that's not a good option for me when the people around me truly don't understand. But here on a forum...where people understand, and not only can't see the tears, but would understand the tears as well...

I'm sorry for you loss, hun. I can't say I know exactly what you're feeling, but I think I feel similar feelings of guilt, remorse, bitterness, etc...

And from what I'm experiencing, it gets a little better as time goes, but it will still be hard for a while. Like I said, it's been a year, and today alone, I've cried several times at the thought of my baby bird and when she died...I'm tearing up a little bit right now, actually...


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## hulkamaniac (Feb 11, 2009)

LoupGarouTFTs said:


> Actually, this kind of information dump is pretty common in attention-seeking posts, in which woe upon woe is heaped to make the story more "interesting." If I am wrong in agreeing with Skelaki about the apparent nature of this post, then I apologize to the OP and extend my condolences; however, since it is now summertime and school is out, I always turn a skeptical eye to this kind of post.


I too have been given the gift of skepticism and treat this post appropriately. It does seem a bit overdramatic, but I think kids these days are much more drama queenie (is that a word) than people used to be.

It is a lot of information. If true, then please except our condolences and do some reading on grief. It may help you out.


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## Inga (Jun 16, 2007)

Regardless this post is about the loss of a dearly loved dog. We all understand the sadness that goes along with losing someone we love.  I am so sorry for your loss, Korey. Rest in Peace little Saydee May.


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## Korey72590 (Jun 29, 2009)

Inga said:


> Regardless this post is about the loss of a dearly loved dog. We all understand the sadness that goes along with losing someone we love.  I am so sorry for your loss, Korey. Rest in Peace little Saydee May.


Thank you! It is wierd to see so many people on this forum question the validity of my post and have basically no compassion. This story might seem overdramatic but bottom line is, this is reality for me. The emotions I felt and feel now can hardly be explained. I am pretty sure if most of you went through such a random/tragic loss you would have similar feelings as me.


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## GSDGAL (May 27, 2009)

I'm sorry korey, but you can't just assume that because you are feeling this way that no one here has felt this before. Everyone chooses to feel things differently, and I apologise if I was a little rude, i've just come across so many posts like that from attention seeking teenagers that I can't determine the real ones when I see them...my bad....

I completely understand, the day my mum had a shocking car accident my neighbour shot my german shepherd Nina and my border collie was hit by a car and had to get put down....I know exactly how you feel....In those three hours my life was forever changed, I'm so sorry about Saydee and I really hope that after the cloud of grief has lifted you can move on (without forgetting her) and perhaps get another dog, not to replace her, but to give you the opportunity to feel that love and companionship, you so desire.


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## hulkamaniac (Feb 11, 2009)

Korey72590 said:


> Thank you! It is wierd to see so many people on this forum question the validity of my post and have basically no compassion. This story might seem overdramatic but bottom line is, this is reality for me. The emotions I felt and feel now can hardly be explained. I am pretty sure if most of you went through such a random/tragic loss you would have similar feelings as me.


I would not consider a death of a 13 year old dog random. Tragic maybe, but hardly random.


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## Korey72590 (Jun 29, 2009)

hulkamaniac said:


> I would not consider a death of a 13 year old dog random. Tragic maybe, but hardly random.


She wasn't quite thirteen yet, probably in her mid 12's. 

I think it is pretty random that a healthy and active dog goes from one day being completely normal and in the morning being completely normal, then all of a sudden at 2 o'clock she is dieing? I would say that is VERY random and unexpected.


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## Shaggydog (Mar 4, 2009)

The first time I lost a dog due to illness,I cried like a baby. My beloved Bull Mastiff,Ginger was dianosed with an incurable liver disease,probably cancer. I done the humane thing and had her put down. I couldn't bear to watch her suffer any more. I would also say I'm of male gender and was 40 years old at the time,and recently married. You know,it does hurt,but time does heal. The first year I couldn't even look at another dog. Now I got a loveable,cuddly,BIG,dog that is a great companion.

Just give yourself time to heal and think of good times,the goofy,and the weird. You'll adjust in time,and time is what it's going to take. Sorry for your loss and I hope this will help you in some way.
Peace,
Shaggydog


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## ThoseWordsAtBest (Mar 18, 2009)

I'm not sure where you're from OP, but in my area our local humane society has bi-monthly meetings for dealing with pet sickness and loss. A group of folks gather and show pictures and tell stories about their pets. I'm not terribly emotional, but after my kitten was killed it helped.


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## LoveMyBirdDog (Apr 3, 2009)

Korey I'm so sorry for your loss. Cancer is like that sometimes. Causing no signs or symptoms for a long time. Then one day the tumor gets just large enough to start causing all kinds of problems. I work in the medical field and I see this with people more often than I would like. 

I'm so sorry for your loss. My 13 yr old dog died 5 years ago and I still grieve over her. I have 2 dogs now and that really helps.


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## Eris13021 (May 16, 2009)

Korey72590 said:


> She wasn't quite thirteen yet, probably in her mid 12's.
> 
> I think it is pretty random that a healthy and active dog goes from one day being completely normal and in the morning being completely normal, then all of a sudden at 2 o'clock she is dieing? I would say that is VERY random and unexpected.


i went through the same thing with my Cherokee. She was 16 when we had to put her down. She was filled with fluid and had a growth in her belly. We thought she was just fat. She went from being a happy dog to not eating within a matter of days.


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## sw_df27 (Feb 22, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss and as far as people on this thread saying some of the things they are saying it's just plain out rude this person has obviously gone through something that was tragic to them and if they say it was random who are you to say it wasn't weither we know the age of the dog or not geez people............................ if you would like the links to other forums where people wont pull your thread apart and actually have compassion pm me I belong to alot of dog forums!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## digits mama (Jun 13, 2007)

Sorry for your loss Korey. I never stepped foot in a forum until i lost my dog a few years ago. Digit was my life and this forum stood by me through trying to find him and gave me excellent ideas on what to do.. Never a negative word even though I should have gotten beaten with a stick for being careless..

This thread disgusts me with the outcome of some of you. Death is as dramatic as it gets. It is the WORST thing imaginable that anyone can go through. No matter what the circumstance..This person has lost a beloved dog. And we as dog people should not be criticizing anyone for greiving..No matter how you would like to read it.

Geezum Crimeny!..what is this forum coming too?????


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## ValtheAussie (Apr 19, 2009)

Before I had a dog, I lost a cat after 19 years. He was choking from congestive heart failure and couldn't breathe and I had to have him put down, to put him out of his misery. It was the only humane thing to do, even though it hurt terribly. I was inconsolable for days and crying over Hector, my dear cat.

It ruined a vacation we had been planning.

I did get over it, although it took some time. Lighting a candle in memory of my cat-friend, whenever I was upset helped me to get over it. I also planted a ***** willow in his memory. All these things help to get over the death of a beloved pet.


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## RottieMomx3 (Jun 9, 2009)

I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard to get over the loss of a beloved pet. We lost our 16 year old cat 4 years ago and we still miss him terrible. I made a slide show with pictures and music that I watch when I miss him, I cry it all out.


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## Korey72590 (Jun 29, 2009)

Thanks for the many comforting replies. I am sorry to here about your losses as well.


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## Kittina (Nov 22, 2010)

I know this thread is old but when I googled 'cant get over my dogs death' this is one of the first links that appears.

I just wanted to express my condolences to the OP and to also express how utterly disgusted I was at some of the responses here. 

I lost my 5 year old dog very suddenly on Friday night and have been feeling awful and was seeking some comfort. I understood every feeling the OP had as I have been feeling them myself and NO i'm not an overdramatic teenage child, i'm a 23 year old woman who has experienced many losses in my life and for someone to then class these feelings as 'attention seeking' and 'over dramatic' made me feel even worse. For me, someone looking on the internet for some friendly advice and most importantly - the recognition that how i'm feeling is NORMAL this thread would make anyone feel like a complete freak and it's a great shame anyone in the same position as myself would find this thread as a first hit.


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

Kittina- My condolences on your loss. I've had many pets that I have had to have humanely euthanized due to old age related disease (since most of my pets were rescued as older dogs), and it never gets easier. I can still relive each one's passing in detail. I just try not to, and eventually you remember the good times and love that you shared with the pet, and the pain gets locked away in the back of your mind.

Losing a younger dog is even worse, as you feel that they missed out on so much life, and that you were cheated out of having them around as long as you expected. I don't know if you are spiritual, but what helps me in those cases is thinking that they came into my life for a reason, and when they completed that mission, and taught me what I was supposed to learn, they were released back to the spiritual world, their soul now free and perfect. Maybe, in time, that will give you some comfort as well.


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## Kittina (Nov 22, 2010)

thank you very much for your response, I appreciate the kind words. It was such a great shock to lose her so young so I was just looking for somewhere that I would see some other people experiencing the same feelings, and some comfort that I was indeed normal for feeling this way.


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## LazyGRanch713 (Jul 22, 2009)

Kittina said:


> I know this thread is old but when I googled 'cant get over my dogs death' this is one of the first links that appears.
> 
> I just wanted to express my condolences to the OP and to also express how utterly disgusted I was at some of the responses here.
> 
> I lost my 5 year old dog very suddenly on Friday night and have been feeling awful and was seeking some comfort. I understood every feeling the OP had as I have been feeling them myself and NO i'm not an overdramatic teenage child, i'm a 23 year old woman who has experienced many losses in my life and for someone to then class these feelings as 'attention seeking' and 'over dramatic' made me feel even worse. For me, someone looking on the internet for some friendly advice and most importantly - the recognition that how i'm feeling is NORMAL this thread would make anyone feel like a complete freak and it's a great shame anyone in the same position as myself would find this thread as a first hit.


Sorry for your loss  I had a 1 1/2 year old cat go from seemingly "fine" to dead within 10 days, it was beyond traumatic. It's been almost a year and I still occasionally think "what if I would have done X sooner"...it sucks.


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## DogMommy (Jul 6, 2012)

Dog reply

Wow! I know this post is old, and like the other poster I've been grieving, looked online under 'can't get over death of dog', and here I am as well. I'm a 42 (almost 43!) year old woman, and yes it's summer, and yes it's my first post here, and yes I registered just to make this post, and yes I'm grieving horribly. Devastated more like it. But because I haven't been a member of this forum (or ANY forum in my life) I, or others like me, must be "trolls" and shot down accordingly? This is The Reason WHY I do NOT join & actively participate in online forums... some people never get over not being in a clique in high school, and wind up on the WWW feeling all powerful in their group of online "friends", and enjoy belittling and picking at others whom, for whatever reason, they feel superior to. I've been looking for people who feel the same, wondering how they moved on, and was utterly shocked when I read the dispassionate replies here, definitely NOT what I'd expect from "Dog People". *For shame! I assume the OP was doing the same. If she wasn't? So what. This is a common feeling, why not share it HERE, of all places? I lost my 10 year old Lab to liver cancer. He hid it so well. Was healthy one day, acting like his usual goofy puppy self, and GONE the next. I'm angry, bitter, devastated, all of it. I loved that darn dog so much, it feels like a part of my soul has been ripped out leaving the rest shredded to pieces. My kids are supposed to be enjoying their summer, but this house is like a mausoleum. No, this isn't the first dog I've lost, my parents and grandparents were always dog people. Why should that have any bearing on our emotions? Whether the first or last dog, we'll mourn the loss of them all equally. I still cry if I think about all the dogs I've loved with all my heart and lost over the years. Its horrible. They're all still with me, I still mourn them all nearly every single day. My 95 yo grandfather still cried big fat tears when he talked of Bo, his boyhood dog. No, we never get "over" them, but the pain recedes after awhile. It's still there years later whenever you want to bring it out and examine it. I'm stuck in the survivor guilt stage, could I have missed something, I should've played with him more his last days, we were so busy with summer stuff. But then I remember taking him camping a few months ago, how he LOVED swimming in the river, we also took him on a road trip a few weeks before his passing, his favorite thing to ride in the CAR, and he got to stay in a fancy dogcentric hotel and be pampered, and he got to go on a doggy sleepover party at my sisters house with her 4 dogs. His last months were actually filled with dog fun, more so than at any other point in his life. Fortitude? No. Just dumb luck. So, people,the lesson is the same with humans. Don't take them for granted. Love them every day. Show them how much you love them every day. Take them to do fun dog things, you never know if it will be your last time together. We are planning on getting another dog before summer is over, which is really hard for me. I know it's the best time to housebreak, as well as for the kids to bond with him before school starts. Will be the first of August, so it gives me a little more time to come to grips before we bring the new puppy home. I've been in touch with a reputable breeder (who, awesomely lives just TEN minutes from us, by chance!) and her litter will be available first of August. She checked my reference, our vet, and has decided she wants the pick of the litter to come to us, and she wants me to co-breed & show. It's an honor I'm not sure I even deserve. *I've always been intrigued by breeding & showing, so we'll see. Yes, there are many dogs at the pound, many rescues out there, but having worked with our local stray rescue org for MANY years as a foster parent volunteer, that's just too much right now. I need to know my dogs temperament beforehand, and the breed I've selected is nearly extinct! So will be fun helping to revive them. There's the excitement of the new puppy, but my heart still longs for my furry boy. I still look for him, hold doors open a couple seconds longer than necessary, and leave crumbs on the floor to be gobbled up. No other dog can ever take his place. But, my heart is big, a lot of love to go around in there. One day I will lose this puppy too, after I've grown to love him like my furry son, and I will be devastated all over again. Some make the choice never to get another dog, but I just can NOT see my life w/o another dog, or several, in it. I would hope in the future that when people, human beings, reach out to other human beings, in need of solace & comfort, that those here who once reacted negatively to this, will think again before reacting so negatively, because it really says more about you than us "trolls". The loss of a beloved pet is tragic, no matter the circumstances. You LOVED something, then it's just GONE. Pain is pain no matter if you're new to a forum, age 43, 6, or 95. I'm glad to see these negative Nancy's were chastised by the group as whole, thanks you guys for sticking up for the OP, you did your dogs proud. We don't deserve them, but at least we can try and do right by them, always. Hugs and comfort to all who suffer this loss.*


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## Pawzk9 (Jan 3, 2011)

DogMommy said:


> Dog reply
> 
> Wow! I know this post is old, .*


Yes, it's quite an old thread, and seems a little odd to dig it up to say "shame on you" to a number of people who aren't even here anymore. (Or whom I haven't seen post lately). Certainly losing a pet can be devastating. And different people choose to share their grief in different ways, and to varying degrees. Over the years I've found that while I cry, and am sad for MY loss of that physical presence, spirit doesn't die. And I can celebrate that spirit better by remembering the wonderful experiences we shared than allowing myself to re-live the sometimes very sad and heart-rending parting over and over. That's hard to remember at first, but it does get better, even if the painful part remains with us, too. Death is every bit as natural a part of our life here as birth and living are. For the one who is suffering, it is a release that allows them to move on. Those of us who are left behind need to learn the lesson of moving on as well. And the lesson we can learn from our dogs is to "live in the now". A very wise dog told me that. rip, Phoebe.


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## DogMommy (Jul 6, 2012)

Very true, which is why I prefaced it with my "disclaimer". It was just shocking, old or not, to see *some* of the replies, knowing that others are probably currently stumbling on it too after all these years. It just left a bad taste in my mouth is all. Blech. Last kinda thing you want to read when searching for solace. I'm sure others just clicked out & found other, current webpages to explore. Me, well, I have to step up or not sleep. I like sleep ;-) I agree with everything you said, btw, but I'm still at the cry all day, cry all night point. I know it will get better, just awfully bleak right now. I'm not a cryer, never have been. My family is scared to talk to me because I relate everything back to him. It's only been two weeks. I know I need time. It won't heal everything, but it does help some. My mom & I call each other every night just to cry, silly codependence. She lost her 14 yo dog two months ago, my "brother", and we're still reeling from that. I can't cry over one, without crying over all of them. I'm probably pre-meno, which doesn't help a single thing.... Thanks, and sorry to all who've loved & lost, human or pet.


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