# I don't want my dog. Advice needed.



## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

I am seeking advice as a last resort and out of total desperation. I got my dog (a purebred lab) when he was 6 weeks old and now he is 3.5 months old. His behavior is the worst I have ever seen. I have been trying to to correct it, but am not seeing any improvement. He doesn't respond to any training methods (from positive to negative reinforcement - including physical correction) and is now displaying dominance when I try. This concerns me because I am pregnant and have an 8-year-old special needs son. I worry that the dog will hurt me, my son, or the baby when their born. He bites everyone in the household - hard. It rips our clothes and pierces our skin. We use to think he was just trying to play, but now he even does it when I'm correcting him. He even barks before lunging at me. He is also an emotionally disturbed dog. He cries majority of the day. He cries when he's in the car, outside, in his crate...basically anytime he isn't doing what he wants. And if we don't respond to the crying - something we try to ignore - it turns into full-fledged barking. My husband gets up for work at 4:00 in the morning and feeds the dog and lets him out. Then it's back in the cage because my son and I are still sleeping. But the dog - who was just fine and sleeping before my husband got up - will then sit in his cage and bark until he wakes everyone up. Today was the last straw for us. The dog was already in trouble and then bit me in my back while I was cleaning out his cage (keep in mind I'm pregnant!) and hasn't stopped crying and barking. My husband and I had a long talk about what to do - either give him away or buy a shock collar. I do believe he might be too young for a shock collar and am afraid of causing irreversible emotional damage. And I worry that giving him away will destroy my son (who is disabled and we bought the dog for). But I can't keep living like this. The dog is going to seriously hurt somebody and won't shut up. Please help. Is this behavior normal and what should I do?


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## Tylerthegiant (Apr 5, 2013)

It sounds like this dog requires training that you are not currently equipped to take on. If you want to keep the dog I'd hire a professional trainer that practices Positive reinforcement only (yes, I said PR only-your dog is a normal, lab puppy from the sounds of it who does not respond well to punishment (and the dog decides what is punishing to it, not the human)-and sees punishment as a threat and is telling you to back off. I can tell from your post that you are not well versed on current animal training to be able to address the issues you described, and you have a lot on your plate. I do get that, please know. This dog is SO young and can turn around really quickly at his age, but it will take knowledge, dedication and work on your end to accomplish it so you have to be truly committed to doing that and I think you need professional help to guide you and come up with training protocols for you to follow.

If you decide not to keep the pup please contact a reputable rescue organization that can place the pup in the best possible home for it. If you need help knowing what organizations would be reputable we can answer those questions for you. 

Only you can decide what is possible for you to do and how committed you are to this animal. If you don't keep your pup then please do right by it because it's not the pup's fault, it's just a baby. Also please consider the best age/breed/temperament of a dog as well as the circumstances of your life should you ever decide to get another dog next time and be prepared for what it takes to make any dog a good member of the household. There are "Disney dogs" out there (so I've heard) but many dogs are not born "easy" but can be trained to be well mannered, if you understand how to do it, have the time to do it, and are committed to doing it.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Dominance between dogs and humans is not a thing, and even if it were, a puppy would not be trying to dominate you. Your pup sounds like an under-exercised, untrained, normal lab puppy. Puppies take a lot of time and effort to train, and if you don't have that time or don't want to put in that effort (which I agree would entail hiring a positive trainer at this point to help you get a handle on all of the issues), I would rehome him now (through a reputable rescue) while he's still young.

I'll also note that six weeks is too young to take a pup from its mom and littermates. In some places, it's even illegal to sell a pup under eight weeks old. Pups learn important skills during that last couple of weeks, including bite inhibition. The fact that you got your pup when he was young is probably contributing to the biting issues. Here is a good, free, online training textbook that discusses bite inhibition and more.


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

Have you tried a professional trainer or animal behaviorist? It does sound like you're in over your head. I'd definitely suggest talking with a pro before trying to use a shock collar or you may make things worse.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

Yes, Packetsmom, I have. We started taking our dog to a trainer when he was 10 weeks old. Before that, he was getting exercised daily (we are an active military family) and I had already started him on clicker training. He was actually potty trained and doing simple commands (sit, stay, shake, lay down) by 8 weeks old! 

I'm certainly not a certified dog trainer, but after taking my dog to one, I am familiar with ways to respond to his behavior. It just didn't work. I'm actually able to stay at home and work with him (since I can't continue working now that I have a high-risk pregnancy) but, I worry that his issues aren't normal and theyre a sign he is becomming aggressive. We have had other dogs (from puppies) and they did not show these behaviors. He does bite out of play, which I expected, but...sometimes it seems malicious. He has jumped on my son's back and bitten him in the back of the head (after my son tried to stop the dog by yelping like a puppy, saying "no bite", giving him a chew toy and then finally turning around to ignore him.) I was heartbroken as my son sat there a sobbed that he was afraid the dog would hurt the baby :/ And the crying / barking is honestly something we are just not used to since none of our other dogs did that. 

Obviously giving him away was not our first choice, but I'd be lying if I said I even wanted him at this point. He has tried biting me in the stomach before and it scares me. I want to stick it out but don't know what else to do.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

Also I will note that we have stopped exercising him because he was diagnosed with Puppy Strangle 3 weeks ago and we were advised by his trainer and vet to limit his activities until he finished his antibiotics and steroids.


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Find him a new home. You're going to have even less time to deal with these issues once you have a baby. There's no shame in admitting that a dog isn't a good fit and that you don't want him. Don't keep him out of a sense of obligation. He is still young and it shouldn't be hard for a good rescue to find him a new home.


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## EdDTS (May 30, 2012)

3.5 months? He's probably still teething. I recall my GSD being quite the biter as a pup, tearing clothes and skin quite easily.
I would give it a bit more time. He's really just sounds like a crazy high energy puppy.

Not every dog is the same, just because your previous dogs were a certain way doesn't mean your new pup will be anything like your old dogs.
Since you got him at 6 weeks, it's likely he didn't finish learning everything he needed from mom and siblings and it may contribute to some problems you've been having.

If you truly want to keep the dog I would give it a little bit more time. If not, then I would try to rehome him.
If you choose to keep him, choose a method of dealing with him and stick to it.
Absolutely do not get a shock collar, it will do nothing to help you. You do not know how to use it, you will likely make the problems even worse.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

Thank you EdDTS. I know 3.5 months is young but I'm just worried since he has been getting worse. I thought after being home with him all day and hiring a trainer that it would get better, if anything. I do agree that getting him at 6 weeks was too young, which is why I use to yelp like a puppy when he would bite me  I appreciate the advice


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Keep in mind that anyone can call him or herself a trainer. Even some "certified trainers" (certified by whom?) are terrible. If yours told you to worry about dominance or use harsh techniques on a puppy, he or she was not a good, or informed, trainer.


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

He is a very, very normal Lab puppy. . .those guys are land sharks. Everything goes into their mouths, and they get overexcited very easily. If you don't want him, yes, find him a new home, and soon. Dogs can tell when they're not wanted, and it affects their behavior. He is a baby, and physical methods should never have been used on him. He needs a home where people will be patient with his normal puppy behaviors.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

Willowy - what do you typically do for biting? We have tried a lot of different things. Mostly are positive but we use distraction / redirection too which doesn't seem to work. I've only had to roll him on his back (the negative physical reinforcement - I do not beat him ) or put him outside when he's just taken it way too far! But then he rips up our back deck lol. 

Here is an example of how he lands himself outside and has me feeling defeated. I was working on clicker training with him and once we finished, he ran up to the couch, jumped on it and chewed a pillow. I walk over and try several methods to try and get him to stop and get down, but finally had to pick him up and set him down myself. Then I went to clean his cage out and he tried to get in it while I was doing that. I blocked him with my body and then he bit me in the back. Sooo we were done for the day. I just wish he would at least keep the biting away from my back and stomach area :/


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

Crantastic said:


> Here is a good, free, online training textbook that discusses bite inhibition and more.


We also have a sticky called "The Bite Stops Here." Check that out:


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

It's fine to remove him or yourself from the situation, so you don't get frustrated. Pop him outside, or even in his crate, as long as you don't do it angrily or roughly, or leave the room. The most important part of "The Bite Stop Here" is removing yourself from him when he gets overexcited. Just yelping without removing attention won't work---some dogs like any attention, even negative attention. Also, for some dogs, high-pitched noises will get them more amped up, so a lower-pitched noise ("hey", "ouch") may work better. 

For chewing household stuff, trade him for one of his toys. He can't tell the difference now, but the more often you trade and reinforce for chewing his own toys, he'll eventually learn which are his and which aren't.

But Lab pups also have no attention span . Don't expect to see improvements right away, it can take a while to sink in.

And, yeah, the situtation you described is just soooo much like a Lab pup, LOL. I don't mean to laugh at your pain, but that's just so typical. "Yay! Mom's on the floor! Playtime!" "Yay! I'm so excited because we were training! I must chew the couch!"


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

^ LOL

Sooo then what am I doing wrong with the constant crying? He doesn't ever stop. Just gets louder. Especially if he's in trouble or riding in the car.


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## Tylerthegiant (Apr 5, 2013)

I would take a wild guess here and assume he is getting what he wants by crying, barking. Dogs don't continue behaviors that aren't working for them, only what they gets something out of (ie are being reinforced). For example, in the morning he cries until you all get up and get him out. I'm guessing if he's in his crate and throwing up a fuss he gets let out. This lets him know, throwing a fit gets results. He should only be let out when he is not whining, which means he gets what he wants by doing what _you_ want, being quiet. This is how good PR really works, you get something, he gets something. It's a partnership. 

You may experience something called an extinction burst when you stop reinforcing the whining by giving him what he wants. This means the behavior will be at it's most intense just before it stops completely. Basically he thinks, _whining always worked before, why isn't it working? I know, if I whine louder and even more annoyingly, then it will work!_ But as long as you no longer reinforce by letting him get what he wants while whining he WILL stop (because it's no longer working). However if you give in just one time, that's called variable reinforcement and actually makes things worse. It's like putting coins in a slot machine, we keep putting in quarters for that one time we get 20 bucks back every 50 times we play. You'd have to be consistent, every single time you do your training, so would everyone in your family. 



A large % of the time, when training isn't working, it's not the dog, the method is the wrong one or it's not being done correctly, it's not that the dog is untrainable.

ETA: I am guessing he whines also because of anxiety, you have to make the things that make him anxious (like the car) the best thing on the planet. Start small, reward the heck (jackpot high value treats) for riding in the car around the block, then if he has a positive experience take a longer car ride. You always want to end training on a positive note, so the dog has a positive association with learning or whatever he's learning. It's better for training is to super short (90 seconds) rather than have it end badly.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

We actually don't let him out of the cage after he's been barking...my husband is not one to give in. We don't even yell "quiet!" because it's a form of attention. And I'm familiar with extinction burst...takes me back to my days of working as an applied behavior therapist...and apparently the burst has been going on for a month now. Especially if he going on a trip or smells my food.


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## Tylerthegiant (Apr 5, 2013)

One more thing about the whining when he's in trouble, I don't know what that means, being in trouble, but you probably have a dog that is sensitive to correction and you are over correcting (again the dog determines what is harsh to it, not the human). By over correcting when a less harsh correction would work all you're doing is creating distrust. If the dog does not trust you they are even less likely to listen to you because they are afraid of what happens when they try to do something (which may be too difficult or confusing to them) and get it wrong.


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## Tylerthegiant (Apr 5, 2013)

Jaylijah said:


> We actually don't let him out of the cage after he's been barking...my husband is not one to give in. We don't even yell "quiet!" because it's a form of attention. And I'm familiar with extinction burst...takes me back to my days of working as an applied behavior therapist...and apparently the burst has been going on for a month now. Especially if he going on a trip or smells my food.


As an applied behavior therapist may be you can help me with my confusion, wouldn't what you described below, the alpha roll, be positive (adding stimuli) punishment (something meant to diminish a behavior) and not negative (taking away) reinforcement (something meant to increase the likelihood a behavior to reoccur)?



Jaylijah said:


> Willowy - what do you typically do for biting? We have tried a lot of different things. Mostly are positive but we use distraction / redirection too which doesn't seem to work. _*I've only had to roll him on his back (the negative physical reinforcement *_- I do not beat him ) or put him outside when he's just taken it way too far! But then he rips up our back deck lol.
> /


What you need to know if you want to keep this puppy with all you have going on if you don't have a PR trainer in your area will require a lot of reading. I would suggest some of the stickies, doing searches on the forum, and reading the suggested reading in the training forum sticky. 

I've adopted several dogs people gave up because of "untrainable" behavioral issues, I know what a difference proper training makes in some serious behavioral issues such as Dog on Dog aggression, high prey drive for cats, fear aggression, handing aggression, and other issues I won't name here. Much more difficult issues than a rambunctious, untrained, lab puppy like what you're describing (although I don't blame you for not wanting to have those behaviors continue). Trust me, it can be dealt with, if you are committed to it.


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## BernerMax (Mar 15, 2013)

It was said before, but if you are really frustrated and feel you dont want this dog anymore, try contacting a lab rescue (where are you-- you could just Google Lab rescue) and give him up while he is young enough to be placed easier. It sounds like you are at the end of your rope, with your high risk pregnancy and your special needs son and, and I am sure the dog can sense this...


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

You've gotten good advice. I'll just add my thoughts....

If you are frustrated with this puppy, (and your original post on this thread did indeed sound frustrated) that my very well shape your response/reaction to the puppy. And, dogs are very, very adept at reading our emotions. You have a special needs son, a high risk pregnancy, and a puppy that you are frustrated with. That set of circumstances doesn't go a long way towards putting you in a patient, calm frame of mind, especially when the puppy has just done something that is upsetting.
Of course, I am not saying that whatever you have tried is WRONG or BAD or that you have been IMPATIENT. I'm just saying that all this can color the way you look at, and respond to, this puppy.

Because, it really does sound like a normal puppy.

As for the biting, sometimes the "yelping" sound can further excite an already excited puppy. So, perhaps the "yelp" isn't the sound you should be making. With our first puppy we did the "yelp" and then remove ourselves from the situation, but for our second puppy, the yelp just caused her to freak out even more. So, we changed our sound to OUCH! We said it fairly loudly, but, not in an angry way. That really, really helped. It got her attention (as it's supposed to do) but, it didn't cause her to continue to get more and more hyper.
Don't forget, the important part of teaching bite inhibition is to remove yourself from the area. So, puppy bites, you say OUCH! Puppy will hopefully stop for a split second, and, then, very likely will go right back to biting (because that's what puppies do). If so, say OUCH again, and this time, leave the room so the puppy can't follow you. Repeat as necessary. (And, I know, the repeat part is a hassle, but, consistency is super important, as you know).

The only other thing I will add is more of a general nature......remember that this puppy is at a bit of a disadvantage, having been taken from mom too young. He missed out on some important things. This may make him more challenging than the other puppies you've had. OR, it may just be that his personality is far different from all the other puppies you've had. Remember that, in some ways, puppies are very similar to babies, they teethe, and they explore and learn about the world by using their mouth.

And, lastly, it takes lots of repetition to have things really sink in for puppies. Even with bite inhibition, you are not just trying to get him to stop biting on that one occasion, you are trying to teach him a life skill, not biting (or at least using a soft mouth, depending on your preference). So, yes, of course, stopping him when he's biting is important, because it can hurt, but, on top of that, you're trying to make it sink in that he should never bite, not just that one time. And, that takes consistency.

If, in your frustration, or desparation, you give up on one method and try something else, you just end up confusing the puppy, because he never really understood what you were trying to get him to do (or stop). So, even when it may seem that it's not working, sometimes his little brain IS starting to process and understand, it's just not taking hold just yet.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


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## victorino545 (Apr 8, 2013)

My son got a lab pup and went through the same thing. They were very frustrated at his behavior and at times felt like they made a mistake in getting him. People don't realize labs are not born calm and well behaved. His dog is now 11 mos old and doing better. He still can be a little mouthy and doesn't really listen that well but they are working more with him. They have also talk to many lab owners and have been told they don't really grow up until they are 1 1/2 - 2 yrs. I agree with others, if you don't have the time or patience then give him away while he is young. It will just get harder and doesn't sound like you will be able to handle him.


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## Tylerthegiant (Apr 5, 2013)

I just wanted to add, your family is always first over a dog, you have one special needs child, another child on the way, these are very time consuming issues, and you have an excitable puppy with what sounds like a low threshold for frustration, and what you're doing now is not working. These issues are not huge issues in the scope of dog behavioral issues right now while this puppy is young, but they could develop into something very unsafe for your children, which I can tell is a concern for you, as it should be and I respect that. I hate to see dogs rehomed, I really do because of past experiences I have had working in shelters and adopting problems dogs but I hate to see children harmed by a family dog far more. It's so sad and traumatic for all involved. This puppy needs a lot of supervision, a lot of guidance, attending to that and your children is A LOT IMO. My daughter is SMI, and my DH has a TBI with PTSD, so I know the time it takes to be a caregiver for a loved one, it's more than I ever could have imagined before my family members became ill. 

You asked if the behavior is normal, it is in the range of normal, and I know you say you're doing everything but these things can be fixed if you accept that what you know right now about how to fix it isn't working, but it's not that training won't work, or that you're puppy is wacked or something. Wouldn't it be great if you spent the same amount of time dealing with this dog but learned more effective methods and execution of methods? You just have to ask yourself, if the puppy is worth the work it's going to take right now with so many time commitments to huge priority things, because if these behaviors continue as the puppy gets older there could be a risk to your kids. It's got to be dealt with now, and a decision about what you are willing to do to keep this dog in your life should be made ASAP.

And I agree with you that a shock collar is a bad idea for this dog.


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

He's not biting your stomach or back to be mean or scare you. It's what's available to him. Trust me, no dog understands pregnant, certainly not a baby dog.

I just think you have way too much on your plate, military life, special needs son, high risk pregnancy, etc. You can't devote the time and energy you need for a lab puppy, and that won't get better once the baby is born, so contact a rescue and rehome him to a family that does have the time and energy to train him.


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## Kayla_Nicole (Dec 19, 2012)

Everything you explain sounds like normal puppy behavior. He is only 3.5 months old? He is still a BABY. He needs (positive) direction from someone who can train him. Perhaps a puppy was not the best idea in your situation. Because any puppy is going to teeth, going to bite, chew, etc and going to need a lot of time spent on training and exercise.

I would recommend rehoming him yourself or contacting a lab rescue.


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## DJEtzel (Dec 28, 2009)

I don't know where you are located, but please send him to me. He is a normal puppy. 

Maybe try rescuing an adult dog next time that is already well-trained?


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

I do wonder why so many people get puppies when they're pregnant. . .or at least it seems like you hear about it a lot. I would not want to be even near a puppy at that time, talk about overwhelming! Especially if there's another kid in the house already. I wouldn't blame the OP one bit if she found the dog a new home. But why! do people do it so often? It's a terrible time to get a puppy.


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

My lab-owning friends say it can take up to 2 years to fully get a handle on the nipping...and that's an experienced lab owner with consistency and not young children or a pregnancy.

It sounds like this might not be the right time for a puppy. That's ok and it's better to recognize it sooner rather than later, while he can be rehomed to someone who is in a different place in their lives with more time and attention to devote to the pup. When the kids are bigger and if you feel you have more time and energy to devote, you could try again, but for now, maybe it's time to take a step back and focus on the human kiddos?


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## KBLover (Sep 9, 2008)

Jaylijah said:


> Also I will note that we have stopped exercising him because he was diagnosed with Puppy Strangle 3 weeks ago and we were advised by his trainer and vet to limit his activities until he finished his antibiotics and steroids.


Will he try to find treats hidden under blankets and stuff? Maybe play some games like that with him. Mental activity can burn off energy quicker than physical activity. 

Unfortunately, I'm no help with the biting issues and such, but if it's from having too much energy (are Labs usually "mouthy" as part of their breed traits?), playing some mental activity games may help some. 

Otherwise, if he wants to bite stuff - maybe give him some chew toys? Perhaps he'll start picking them up and chewing them, etc.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

Thanks Doxiemommy, great advice


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## Willowy (Dec 10, 2007)

KBLover said:


> (are Labs usually "mouthy" as part of their breed traits?),


Yes, absolutely. Retrievers have to retrieve, so everything goes in their mouths right from the beginning. And that's what's favored in the breed, so the mouthiest are bred to the mouthiest, and there ya got a pup who's all mouth.

I will say that my Lab drew blood on us while playing for over a year. But we used all kinds of ineffective techniques--slapping, scruffing, rolling, etc. I would hope I'd be better at it now and if I got another Lab pup it wouldn't last that long. I do think The Bite Stops Here will be effective if you apply the rules consistently .

But it is true that Labs don't even start to calm down for at least a year and a half, maybe closer to 2-3 years for some.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

Not that it's your business, Willowy, but I was not pregnant when we got the dog. I found out the week afterwards and am grateful - high risk or not - since my husband was told that he can't have children after coming across harmful chemicals in the marine corps. 

This may be a surprise to some of you, but having a special needs child doesn't stress me out either. At all. I mentioned it because he is defenseless against the dog and that won't change. I actually feel blessed to have such an amazing son and be pregnant again. So, thanks for the concern there, but that was never the issue. 

KBLover, I will have to try that...thanks!


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

Jaylijah said:


> Not that it's your business, Willowy, but I was not pregnant when we got the dog. I found out the week afterwards and am grateful - high risk or not - since my husband was told that he can't have children after coming across harmful chemicals in the marine corps.
> 
> This may be a surprise to some of you, but having a special needs child doesn't stress me out either. At all. I mentioned it because he is defenseless against the dog and that won't change. I actually feel blessed to have such an amazing son and be pregnant again. So, thanks for the concern there, but that was never the issue.
> 
> KBLover, I will have to try that...thanks!


We can only go off of the information you provide in your post. Your original post said you were fed up with the dog, even afraid of it and that it was too much for you to deal with on top of having a young, special needs child and a high risk pregnancy. If that is the picture you give us, that's all we know and all we can offer advice on.

I'm glad you're willing to give the dog another chance. Sometimes, it just helps knowing that what is going on is normal and that it does not mean your dog is a dangerous dog that is destined to attack people. It can often seem that way when they're in the "shark week" stage. (That's what we call the bitey, nippy, puppy stage here!) I also think that most people can well understand how a dog in that challenging adolescent period would be a lot to handle on top of an already full plate. That doesn't mean that you aren't happy with all that you have to handle, just that it's a lot for anyone to handle.

I know I got pretty emotional during both my pregnancies, the second of which was high risk. I can only imagine how much harder that would be while also working with an adolescent dog.


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

Jaylijah said:


> Not that it's your business, Willowy, but I was not pregnant when we got the dog. I found out the week afterwards and am grateful - high risk or not - since my husband was told that he can't have children after coming across harmful chemicals in the marine corps.
> 
> This may be a surprise to some of you, but having a special needs child doesn't stress me out either. At all. I mentioned it because he is defenseless against the dog and that won't change. I actually feel blessed to have such an amazing son and be pregnant again. So, thanks for the concern there, but that was never the issue.
> 
> KBLover, I will have to try that...thanks!


Nobody is saying that a special needs child or a high risk pregnancy is bad. But even good things can be stressful and take up valuable energy, time and resources. There's only so many hours in a day, so much energy, so many ways your attention can be split. Children, special needs or not, take time and energy. Babies are black holes of time and energy.

There's nothing wrong with admitting that a situation is too much for you. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you human, and admitting that and asking for help makes you stronger than the person who stubbornly insists they're okay when they're really drowning. And before you jump all over me, I have to admit that. I have to ask for help. I'm partially disabled myself.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

I actually never said that I was afraid the dog was "too much to deal with on top of having a young, special needs child and high risk pregnancy." 

What I did say, was "This concerns me because I am pregnant and have an 8-year-old special needs son. I worry that the dog will hurt me, my son, or the baby when their born. He bites everyone in the household - hard."

Like I said, I appreciate the concern and all, but prefer to stay on-track with what the actual problem at hand is. 

Amaryllis - I don't think anyone said my situation was "bad" but there were a couple posters that assumed I was in "over my head" because of my situation.

The dog does stress me out though, no denying that  And I have no problem in admitting it lol.


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## victorino545 (Apr 8, 2013)

After seeing my son's lab (11 mos) and how it behaves, I understand what you are saying. I have a hard time with his dog because he is so big and rough. He bites (playing but hard) and knocks the kids (3 & 6) down and they don't want to play with him so they put him on the side of house. He is out most of the day because he can't seem to calm down in the house. They give him plenty of exercise but apparently this is normal for a lab pup. Like others have said, they don't really mature until 2 yrs old. My son and his wife love dogs and had Akita's fefore they started their family. I don't think they realized how hard it was going to be with a pup and should have probably got an older dog to fit their needs. I am sure you are giving this much thought and will make the right decision.


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## AlbertaLab (Feb 13, 2013)

I have two labs. We got Dio at 8 weeks old and Kaity was 2 1/2 years old. 

I cried *a lot* because of Dio during his first year. Lab puppies are a lot of work and they can be super stubborn. He bit hard, he sassed, he ran away.... but we kept trying. We went to puppy class and then intermediate training, enrolled him in day care twice a week. We trained every day and exercised him physically/mentally every day. A tired puppy is a happy puppy. And it makes for happy humans too! 

My advice, look into classes for your pup. You won't be able to go (yet) but could your husband partake in this? Buy some training/behaviour books and read up. With consistency, these behaviours will go away. Dio didn't calm down until he turned two and then a "magic switch" turned on and he was much more manageable.

Edit: if you decide that he is too much to handle at this time, I recommend returning him to the breeder. All reputable breeders will take their dogs back. If that is not an option, look into a lab rescue.


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## packetsmom (Mar 21, 2013)

I think it is probably safe to assume that someone who flat out says, "I don't want my dog. Advice needed." is in over their heads, regardless of any other details, but with the details you provided, it definitely sounded like you were in a tough situation.

I'm glad you're feeling better about the situation than when you first posted and I hope this all works out for you and for your family.


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## BernerMax (Mar 15, 2013)

Jaylijah
do you love your pup? Because bottom line thats what will get you thru the day with him. Our giant schnauzer puppy was alot worse (read my posts) and alot a bigger and more destructive and is also protective/ guardy (ie bitey).
If you dont have that baseline unconditional love for him (no judgements here REALLY) it just wont be worth it to you.
If you love love love your pup and have the time and energy to spare ( I cant stand crating. Just put him on a timeout outside or the bathroom) you will make it thru. And it will be worth it. I LOVE my giant schnauzer and she sticks to me like glue.


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## sundrops (Apr 10, 2012)

Honestly, I feel a little bad for your puppy. It's not that you're a terrible owner, it's clear you are doing what you can and know best, but it's also obvious the pup's needs aren't being met! Labs are mouthy, and he's still young, which means he needs a lot of stimulation and attention - maybe more than can be given right now? If you intend to keep him I really think you should look for a professional, positive trainer - and don't be afraid to do some research or ask questions!


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## BostonBullMama (Apr 20, 2013)

Honestly, I didn't even read through all of the replies and Im certain you've gotten some great advice here but your original post came off as if you were really just fed up and ready to throw in the towel, then when people started giving you suggestions you seem to be getting defensive... and in all honesty, I don't really feel comfortable with what I'm reading. 

1. a crate should never be used to punish a dog, it should be used as a place of comfort and relaxation. The dogs going to cry and bark and whine because it can hear you in the house and wants to be near it's people... Even my dog begins barking at 7am or earlier if he can hear my son moving around in his bedroom, and we only use the crate for bedtime or if we're going out. Otherwise the crates left open so the dog can choose to go in and out of it as he pleases.

2. I'm on the same page as sundrops and feel a little sorry for your puppy. He's clearly under excersized - which I realise you've explained about the strangle but could you not at the very least put a harness on him or put him in the yard and throw a ball for him? A tired puppy is a happy puppy, at the very least it will allow you to bond with him and regain some trust because right now I don't think that dog trusts you at all.

I have a 4 year old and I'm pregnant. We didn't find out I was pregnant until a month after getting our dog, almost to the day. I get that you try to just make things work out for the best but labs are so high energy and you've mentioned you're high risk which absolutely limits your abilities. I'm not high-risk but there are definitely a few complications lately that have made having a dog more difficult. 

When you think about your day, do you look back on it and see any time where your family and the dog are comfortable co-existing? 
or are you always punishing and listening to a crying pup?
The fact that you've mentioned he cries and barks all day suggests to me that he just wants attention. Is it too much to give him some? I know when it's constant it can get annoying but he's only a baby himself... 

Honestly..... I do think you should re-home the dog. And maybe I'm being a little harsh but reading through it just sounds as though it'd be better for both the dog and your family situation. Maybe if you decide to get another you should spend a lot of time reading about the breed beforehand. 

Just my opinion.


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## BernerMax (Mar 15, 2013)

BostonBullMama said:


> Honestly, I didn't even read through all of the replies and Im certain you've gotten some great advice here but your original post came off as if you were really just fed up and ready to throw in the towel, then when people started giving you suggestions you seem to be getting defensive... and in all honesty, I don't really feel comfortable with what I'm reading.
> 
> 1. a crate should never be used to punish a dog, it should be used as a place of comfort and relaxation. The dogs going to cry and bark and whine because it can hear you in the house and wants to be near it's people... Even my dog begins barking at 7am or earlier if he can hear my son moving around in his bedroom, and we only use the crate for bedtime or if we're going out. Otherwise the crates left open so the dog can choose to go in and out of it as he pleases.
> 
> ...


x2. Squared.


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## Jaylijah (Apr 23, 2013)

Okay you all are certainly welcome to continue writing on this thread, but just as a heads up I don't have intentions of checking back on it. I got what I needed from the responses and do appreciate the people who gave actual tips. I will say that I think some people on here talk just because they like to talk and not because they want to help. Remember that this website was meant to help others and you shouldn't make remarks that could discourage people from getting help with their dog. 

Again, thanks to those who gave me helpful advice on what was normal behavior and how to train my dog.


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## GrinningDog (Mar 26, 2010)

Odd. I thought the advice offered in this thread was pretty dead-on, given politely and in consideration of your situation. Really, I don't understand why you've become defensive. It seems to me that everyone means well here, for you _and _the dog. Oh well, suit yourself. Best of luck with the puppy!


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## Crantastic (Feb 3, 2010)

When you title your thread, "I don't want my dog," what do you expect? If you don't want the dog, give it away now when it's still young and very adoptable, not later when it's just another untrained adolescent lab. It's definitely not going to get any easier once your baby is born.


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## luv mi pets (Feb 5, 2012)

I read in one of your posts that the pup is on meds due to strangles. Is this when you noticed a big change in the dog behavior? Pred a wonderful drug does have side-effects and one of those side effects can be aggression. My husband can not take pred because it causes him to become aggitated. A client who had a dog diagnosed with addisons disease, and the main treatment is putting the dog on steroids. The dog behavior changed so much that he attacked the owner to the point she spent a few days in the hospital. 


I can tell you are getting frustrated by the replies. Just remember old labs make great pets! It is the long journey getting there that is hard. I would wait till he is cleared of strangles and see if exercising, getting him off of pred and continue with training improves his behavior.


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