# I think my puppy hates me.



## PerfectMillion (Feb 24, 2011)

I have a 15 week old Miniature Australian Shepherd. I love her to death, but she's currently frustrating me to no end. She acts like a normal puppy (super social, never has met a stranger) when we go to the store, and when we're at puppy classes, but then we get home and she acts like I'm going to beat her if I even ask her to sit. She cowers close to the floor, ears back, and will occasionally yelp etc. I've tried playing with her to try and build some trust, but she will NOT play with me. I've tried sitting in the floor with her ignoring her, and she just goes to the other side of the room and lays down (or her crate if she can get to it). I take her on walks, for exercise but I can't play with her. I tried giving her treats but there's VERY few treats she'll eat. I've had it suggested to feed her piece by piece on her dog food to show her that she doesn't need to fear me, but she still isn't getting any better. Any ideas on how to remedy this? I asked about it in puppy class, because it seems to me like she shuts down and was told that she wasn't shutting down, she's just submissive. Basically I've got a puppy that I love to death but is is doing whatever she wants pretty much because I can't teach her right or wrong. I'm afraid at this rate, as bad as it sounds, I'm going to wind up resenting her. What can I do to help make it so that I can work with her without the fear. I don't yell at her, have never hit her, etc. I'm just at a loss.


----------



## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

How long have you had her?


----------



## PerfectMillion (Feb 24, 2011)

Almost 7 weeks, I picked her up January 9, when she was 8 weeks old.


----------



## jencandy (Feb 24, 2011)

To me it just sounds like you have a cautious, submissive, independent puppy. From what you're saying, it sounds like you aren't doing anything wrong, and your relationship with her should improve over time. When I got my pup, she was very similar to what you're describing. If I picked her up or held her, she squealed and squirmed like I was torturing her. It was awful. Now she's 5 months old (so I've had her for 3 months) and she's so dependent on me its not even funny. She still tries to be independent, acting like she doesn't care if I leave, but the second I do, she freaks out and tries to get to me. Just give it time, keep on loving her. However, don't let her walk all over you. Correct her if you need to. Just be gentle about it, a simple "no" will do, no screaming, no hitting. She will learn to love you, as I'm sure she does now. She is just confused. Keep in mind, her whole world has changed. Her siblings, mother, and home have been taken from her. She will be fine, I'm sure.


----------



## abraham (Feb 25, 2011)

I think this is due to lack of spend time with her which she want to you. So give her much much time as you can give her then you can feel real change in her behavior. And chose food of her choice.


----------



## Elana55 (Jan 7, 2008)

What you may want to try is to engage her prey drive play. Will she chase a ball if you gently roll it across the floor when she is on the other side of the room? If she will do that, then start with that. It will allow her to play but not next to you. You are big and she is (apparently) a soft dog. Sit on the floor when you roll the balls (or sit on a low stool).

If you get her chasing balls (and you may have to get a few because it is unlikely she will bring them back.. so you toss, she chases, then you move to the other side of the room where all the balls have ended up and toss them back.... (yes, you will get very good at being trained by the dog). 

If you get her doing that, next get a small plush toy.. something that she might chase.. and tie it to a piece of rope.. 6 feet long may be close enough at first. Sitting on the floor, gently toss the toy and then slowly drag it and see if she will pounce on it and grab it and eventually engage in a little game of tug with you. 

As she gets more confidence, you can play with her closer to you. 

If you have a soft dog, all your movements and language and cues need to be done slowly and quietly. Talk in a low and soft voice and try to encourage her to come and investigate you. Try getting some chicken and cooking it and cutting it into very small pieces (1/2 dime size) and gently tossing those to her while you are in the room with her. Do not try to give them to her out of your hand for a bit. 

Again.. all this is to show her that you = good things and you = nothing threatening.


----------



## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

I think Elana's advice is great!
Maybe, in the beginning, when you first got her, you tried to hard to get her to come out of her shell, and she's reverted further back into her shell. Does that make sense? 

I mean, for us humans, it's natural and normal to want to nurture and bond, and cuddle with our little pups when we first get them. And, for some pups, that's fine! But, some pups seem to adjust to new homes better when given a lot of time to themselves. You let them warm up to you on their time frame. And, if you tried too hard to get her to come to you, and perform commands, and such, when she would rather have been taking it all in from a distance, she may have just pulled back a little.

That's not saying you did anything wrong.  It just may have been too much for your pup, if she just happens to be a bit skittish or unsure to begin with.


----------



## aero4ever (Jan 18, 2007)

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. If she does well in social settings, I'm wondering if it has something to do with your home that makes her feel skittish, not you. For some reason it seems being in public she feels safer than in a quiet home. Maybe it has to do with her early socialization and how she was treated or the environment she was in makes her leary? Might try just playing with the toy yourself and seeing if she'll eventually become interested in joining you?


----------



## Carlito (Mar 1, 2011)

I new to the boards but not new to dogs. You may take a close look at how you're presenting yourself to her. Puppies can become intimidated if you're towering over them all the time and watch your tone, body language and eye contact. Simple things like rolling your eyes or feeling tense about a situation can reflect your displeasure with her very easily. One thing I've learned throughout the years is to NEVER take anything a dog does personally. Are they a pain at times? Of course, but they're not being a pain on purpose. Also, and this is very important, never comfort her in a state of mind that is fearful or you will reinforce her behavior. 

If she's displaying any type of fear towards you ignore her during this time. Give her affection only when she's exhibiting behavior you want from her. That's not to say ignore her like she doesn't exist, only when she's acting fearful. Do not reinforce any behavior you dislike by showing affection at the wrong times. Now many people may disagree with what I'm saying because they believe in different training methodology, so I can only give advice on what I know works for me and my dogs. 

Spend as much time as possible playing with her and continue moving forward as the leader of her pack. Providing leadership in the appropriate manner and at the right times will create a bond that will last for your dog's life. Don't be afraid to train her either. Maintain the role you've assumed as a dog owner and move past this, your pup will move on as soon as you do.

P.S. Before I forget, make sure everyone in your home is on the same page when it comes to interaction, especially training. Example: You playing a dominate role at times while others in the house reinforce her fear of you by giving her affection when she's acting in that manner. The role you play in your dog's life should be equally shared in the beginning while you're forming that bond.


----------

