# Smothering Me



## shylum (Aug 29, 2010)

Hi All,

I need some help. I brought Ellie home a month ago and she is the sweetest dog you could ever imagine. She goes to her crate when told and goes to her bed when told. She is house trained and doesn't tear anything up in the house. She doesn't know a stranger and LOVES to give kisses. Sounds perfect doesn't she?

Here is my problem. While she doesn't know a stranger..she has, for lack of a better term, "chosen" me. If I have been up with her and have to leave the house, she whines until I come home. If she is home with my husband or my mom and is laying with them she is okay until I come home. Then she will completely ignore everyone else. She follows me around until I sit down and tell her to go to her bed. She will go there with no problem, but if I tell her to go sit with my husband she won't move. If he calls her she won't move. If my mom calls her she won't move. When I take a shower, she stands vigil outside the shower until I'm done (and has even jumped in the shower with me and waited until I was done. She won't let my husband kiss me. If he comes at me to give me a kiss, she will climb on my chest and block him. If he tries to hug me, she will cover both of my arms with her body and refuse to move. She constantly jumps up on me if I am standing still talking to someone and won't stop until I pick her up. If she is in my arms and I open my mouth to talk, she will turn around and kiss me. This is okay sometimes, but I haven't been able to speak a full sentence since I brought her home. When I take her out, she takes forever to do her business because she just wants me to pick her up and hold her. She will, however, let my husband take her out as well as my mom. 

Also, my husband and I like to rough house sometimes and it is next to impossible because she constantly thinks that he is hurting me and won't let him touch me..and when he does..she growls the entire time and even takes snaps at him. 

She does this with strangers that approach me outside of the home as well (like in the car or when I'm walking her) but if they come in the house and she can sit on me and protect me she is fine. 

Please help me with this. Does anyone know why she does this?

Thanks so much for any help anyone can give me.


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## Entwine (Jan 14, 2009)

Why is she allowed do these behaviors? And if she's not, what do you do when she does? 

Knowing how you're handling these situations individually will help the forum members give you more sound advice.


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## Bumblina (Jul 6, 2010)

I agree we need to hear more details, but here is one suggestion:

your husband should be feeding and treating her for the majority of the time until she is also bonded with him. Do not feed her at all anymore, not for a while.


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## spotted nikes (Feb 7, 2008)

Also look up resource guarding...you are the resource in this case. You need to put her down and not let her get between you and your husband. I'd start doing NILF with her. I also agree that your husband needs to start feeding her/walking her.


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## shylum (Aug 29, 2010)

I don't know how to stop the whining - Is there really anything I can do about that?

When she growls at my husband - I tell her no and tell her to go lay down in her bed (which she does)

I do try to ignore her when she is jumping up on me and not letting me walk or talk to anyone but she just keeps on and doesnt stop. Telling her no in those instances doesn't help. 

I have physically picked Ellie up and put her on my husbands lap to get her to sit with him instead of me and she will stay there about 5-10 minutes but then she is back to jumping up at me trying to get me to pick her up. Again I try to ignore her but after around 10 minutes of this I do give in to her. When my husband tries to hug me and she gets in between us, I move her away and set her down but then she just growls at him or tries to jump in the middle of us the entire time. I try not to encourage her behavior but I just don't know what else to do with her. She seems real insecure and I'm not sure why.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

Lots of dogs, some breeds more than others, pick one human as "theirs". Ellie has picked you! I agree that your husband should do the feeding, treating, training, walking, etc, for a bit, so that she can see him as someone who is also important to her!

Ignore the whining completely. Don't look at her or say anything. 

I would avoid using the word no. It's so overused and generic, and is really more of a negative thing. Instead, try teaching her what you DO want her to do, instead of what you DON'T want her to do. So, for when she growls at your husband, teach her the "quiet" command, give her a treat the instant she stops growling, and tell her good quiet! Then, increase the amount of time she's required to be quiet before she gets a treat. That way, you're giving her a goal, a command to learn, instead of just saying no.

Keep on letting her have time away, so that she will become independent!


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

When you ignore her, but then give in, you have then trained her to jump for 10 min, and then you will pick her up. Dogs are patient and very good at training us  Be alert for those opportunities when she is training you !

When she "misbehaves," I think it is time for a little "punishment," because ignoring her hasn't been effective. Every time she does any of these things, immediately send her to her crate... or put her in a timeout room. Growling is not allowable, and the consequences should be swift and decisive. Timeout ! You might consider the same for whining, because in some of these cases, she is not asking for some attention, she is demanding ALL of the attention.

When she jumps or licks you, cue her to sit, and when she ignores you, immediately put her in timeout. This has to be unambiguous and she is not allowed to make the decision in these cases. She requires more of a consequence than ignoring.


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## shylum (Aug 29, 2010)

Thanks to all of you for your input..I have started trying the things that you have suggested and its hard, but it seems to be trying to work on her. She does sit and stare at me for a very long long time when I ignore her. 

Today for the first time, I left her at home alone while me and my husband were at work and I didn't lock her in her crate. I wanted to see how she would do, because she does okay when my mom is here and my husband and i are at work (except for the whining). but my mom left yesterday and will be gone for a month so she was here all by herself today.

She proceeded to not only tear up the bottom of the blinds on the doors but also managed to eat half of them. She didn't tear anything else up, though. Should she always be kept in the crate when we are not home or will she eventually grow out of this?


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## hanksimon (Mar 18, 2009)

She will eventually grow out of it. But keep her crated until she does, and you can include a Kong or two in the crate.

This is one reason to puppy-proof a house... because if puppies don't have access to forbidden chewables - drapes, cords, homework - then they *usually* don't learn to chew on them, instead selecting only the allowed items, such as Kongs.

This isn't an absolute, but it helps. I've found that exploratory chewing slows down after about 6 mos, and seems to stop after a year. After that, anxious/frustration chewing may occur.... one reason for lots of exercise.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

I would caution against using her crate for time outs. Instead, try a laundry room or bathroom with a baby gate. The crate is supposed to be her "comfy" den, and she might start freaking out and not want to go in, if you start using it for time outs, when she's done something wrong.
We, too, have lost blinds.  We have learned that we have to raise the blinds so that our dogs can't reach them, when we're gone. We're lucky that we live in a rural, secluded area, and don't feel bad about leaving the blinds part of the way up. We also learned that we put the garbage up out of reach, too!  There are lots of adjustments that we made to "puppy proof" the house that go against my desire to have things in their places and looking "right"!  But, for now, it's necessary!
If you don't want to crate her when you need to leave her alone, you could baby gate off a room, and put water, a bed, toys, and such in the room. She has a bit more freedom, but it's limited to an area that you decide is the "safest". We use the kitchen because of the laminate flooring!


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