# Fostering looks like a nightmare to me.



## Stelladog (Aug 18, 2008)

I know it's wonderful to do and rewarding, but it seems likely to contain some painful scenarios.

From the Ysabel327 thread: What if I got an very scared dog? After months, it finally bonds with me but is otherwise unadoptable. And to force it into a new home would be so traumatic, that I'd want to keep it. And honestly, I don't want a skittish dog.

On the other hand, I could foster the perfect dog, but just can't keep it. To give it up and watch her leave forever would be terrible. Or a very sick dog; I couldn't forgo any needed medical procedures even if I had to pay every cent.

Then there is process of picking from several adopters. Having to compare them and let all but one of them down seems like an emotional burden too.

The work of caring for, training, and socializing the dog I could handle. But the other risks make me never want to give fostering a try.


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## LeRoymydog (Feb 25, 2007)

That's why foster mom and dads are so special. They have a special place in their heart. I applaud all of them!!!


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## TeddieXRuxpin (Sep 11, 2007)

I have had 8 fosters in the past two years. One I ended up adopting (Teddie Ruxpin) and at the moment I have two fosters. Britches an American Pit Bull Terrier and Neville a Dachshund. That is along with my other three dogs.

Past and current fosters:
Muttilda - 15 year old Rat Terrier (Found owner)
Runzel - 6 week old Boxer/Pit mix; had her until she was 17 weeks and she was adopted
Sebastian - 5 year old Dachshund (Passed away due to severe HW
Dwezil - 21 year old Chihuahua mix (Found owner)
Teddie Ruxpin - 2 year old Shih Tzu (Adopted)
Elliot - 15 week old Lab/Weimaraner (Adopted to a friend)
Britches - 15 week old American Pit Bull Terrier (I still have him; he's 9 months old now)
Neville - 6 month old Pure Bred Dachshund (Has applications to be adopted!!)

I will be completely honest with you when I say it's not easy. I cried when I had to return Muttilda to her owners. But when you find that forever home and you know that you've saved them from being euthanized or whatever the situation may be it's worth every second and every tear. Every week there is another dog I want to bring home or I get an email from the city shelters with lists of dogs that need to be pulled before they run out of time. 

The best part is watching them grow into themselves. When Britches got here he was still recovering from Mange so he was a pink pig. He was found in a park when he was only 8 weeks old. Since he moved in he has become one of the best dogs I've ever gotten the chance to be around. That stigma some of the people I know that have against pits is gone. When ever my mom is around him she gives him kisses on his head and treats him like a big baby. She may never own one, but she has no problem what so ever being around him or loving on him.

To give you a betting image of that; I went to pick up Britches from being neutered and she went with me. It wasn't in the best of nieghborhoods and when we got out of the car a male, intacted, Pit came running towards us. She simply said "Hey a pits coming our way" and calling him a big baby. He turned out to be a big moosh and of course I bent down to give him kisses. But the fact she'd gone from "YIKES" to "come here" is pretty huge.

Every foster I know has adopted at least one of the dogs that they've taken in. Ted happened to be mine; even though I'd love to keep Britches too. My rule was one foster at a time; the first one has to leave before another comes in. I never thought about the last one leaving, you bring another in and the last one is returned.  That's how I got up to six dogs. lol

The adopters; that is difficult. I turned at least 10 people down before Britches was adopted (then returned). But you look for the best home and the best fit for *that *dog. Each situation is going to be different. You have to look at personality, how they act with the dog, if they have other animals how they react, all family members must be on board, the list could go on. When you have a dog for so long you come to find out exactly what his/her needs are. One may need long walks, a big fenced yard, a strong training hand. Your next dog may be a couch potato that needs regular walks and a nice cozy bed. The adopters application goes hand in hand with the process. 

I could go on and on I'm sure, but that is the gists of everything. I hope you are still considering fostering because there are plenty of animals out there that need help.


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## secondchance (Sep 9, 2008)

Even when you are experiencing all of the emotional and challenging moments of being a foster you have a feeling that you are part of something bigger. You know at the end of the day that you have changed a dogs life, you have changed the lives of the adopters, and of the people who you meet out and about who hear your dogs story and think twice about the way our society views animals.


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## MyRescueCrew (May 8, 2008)

When you find that perfect home, where you have no doubts and you know the animal will be loved and cherished, and that without you that wouldn't have been possible, that makes it all worth it.

I've had so many fosters come and go, but it's been so rewarding. Yes, I do end up keeping some. Annie was EXTRMELY skittish, many here know her story. I ended up keeping her after she was unadoptable, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love her dearly. Mattie is also a foster that I kept right after I got him. I just didn't want to let him go. Emmy is the same story -- was supposed to be adopted, but stayed. 

I've had tons that have come and gone though, and some stayed for months before they left. Some had heartworms, some had ringworm, others had mange. But I fixed them up, gave them love and attention and taught them to trust again, taught them what toys and treats were, and then they went off to wonderful loving homes.

My greatest was a pit bull, thrown from a moving vehicle and left to die. Starved to death, anemic, mangy and full of worms at only 10 weeks old, he was nearly dead. I nursed him back to health and adopted him to the most loving young girl, her husband, and their little 5 year old. I still see him all the time, and he has grown up to be the most beautiful, most amazing, and most spoiled dog I've ever met. That dog thinks he's a child, and all the hard work that was put into nursing him back to health pays off when you see an outcome and a wonderful home come foward like that.

I had a beautiful yellow lab that was hit by a car and left in a ditch. he had pelvic injuries amonst other things and he had to be nursed back to health. He went on to a wonderful family though, and the work was all worth it.

I've re-homed plenty of dachsunds and pit bull mixes, all to wonderful families, some needed plenty of work before they left, but the homes they went to were wonderful. It's always worth it in the end, at least for me, to watch them leave to a home that will cherish them forever. It just takes knowing that without rescue volunteers and foster homes, those dogs (and cats) would've never had that chance.

I'll always do rescue work, it's in my blood and second nature to me, and I couldn't imagine my life without it.


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## Stelladog (Aug 18, 2008)

Thanks for all the great replies and stories. After thinking about it for the last few weeks, I decide to give fostering a try (not sure if that is suprising or not given the tone of my post).

It's a medical foster in that the dog has heartworm and needs a quiet home. Once better I can then decide to adopt or continue to foster (but actively show to adopters). It should be an easy first try as the dog is very adoptable.

Now off to the health forum for more heartworm research.


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## Mach1girl (Apr 17, 2006)

I have my first foster right now, and have no idea how I will part with him.

He was found starving on the side of some road, and had to be placed asap. So I agreed to take him for the rescue group.

My husband and kid have fallen in love with him. I love him to but am not ready for another dog for at least 12 to 15 more years as I already own 6, he makes 7.

Especially at 4a.m. when I am freezing in the front yard telling him to go potty.

They wanna keep him, I am still debating as he is such a sweetie and dont know if I could ever find a home good enough for him.

It is hard, and alot of work, especially if you have other dogs already. But I feel good looking at him knowing I saved his life.


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## KarlKatzke (Oct 15, 2008)

It's a risk. I've personally rescued dogs and rehomed them, I've had to take some to the shelter because I didn't have the resources to keep them, and I work with a local rescue group and have seen some dogs bounce back and forth between foster homes and forever homes as they did or didn't fit in. 

There's a bunch of things that rescues can do to help with the rehoming process. For instance, the rescue I'm a part of has a volunteer behaviorist as part of the leadership council. We've set it up so that dogs that 'bounce' for things like separation anxiety, which you pointed out, go to different homes. The foster parents are also required to bring dogs that are ready to be rehomed to training events once every other week. The rescue is also very selective about it's intake and has some stats that we don't exceed -- for instance, no more than two dog-aggressive dogs in the rescue at any one time, no more than two pit-bull breeds because of the extensive background checks that we do to potential adoptees of pit-bull breeds, etc.

Frankly, as much as it hurts to know about all the dogs that DON'T make it into or through our rescue in some way ... it feels better to be working with this kind of group with this kind of policies than it did to struggle with a group that didn't have structure and ended up putting too much pressure on fosters, dogs, and adoptive parents.


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## sheltiemom (Mar 13, 2007)

I would love to foster...I don't know why I haven't done it yet. I have rescued, rehabed, and rehomed a semi-feral stray...it was pretty easy not to get attached because she wasn't "my kind of dog"...not that she wasn't a good dog, just not one I would have picked if I had actually been looking. If I foster for a breed I love, shelties, aussies, or bcs, I would possibly end up keeping one...and that would be ok with me....


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## Hallie (Nov 9, 2008)

I've only fostered 2. I raised them from 4 weeks and it was soo hard to part with them that I kept one. The other went to my friend, 7 months later she escaped from the yard and was never seen again. The one I kept I had to place in a different home 3 months ago because she got really big and started getting really rough when she played with my chihuahua. I hear about her all the time and get to see her and I'm happy . Hallie was meant to be a foster. The breeder gave her to me for $25 (he was my uncle). He was going to have her put to sleep at 6 weeks because of a bad GI tract problem. I agreed to "foster" her. I knew from the point I got her home she wasn't going anywhere! She was so sick she couldn't run for more than a couple seconds but everytime she saw me she manage to stand up and get that tail going! Since that moment I've had her! She is staying  for sure. I wish I could foster but I'm already feeling like I want another dog. Fostering is great, it's like adopting where you save a life but you get to save all kinds of lives. It isn't for all people! But for the people who give it a try it always ends up working out


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## StarfishSaving (Nov 7, 2008)

I've fostered 107 animals (give or take a couple kittens.) Some have stayed, I'll make no excuses. Some were euthanized. A few transferred to rescue groups other than mine when I had no room. 79 were for the group that I started 3 years ago (yeah, 79 in three years!)

I've had 5 animals (five!) in homes that did not work out for various reasons of no fault of the owner: only one is a home I wouldn't adopt (a different pet) to again, though. Stuff happens.

You will never catch me without a foster. I'm addicted to making families complete! It's hard to let them go, but heartwarming to see them in homes that really love and care about them. Get over the fear that "will anyone else ever be good enough??" because yup, they will! This forum is a great example of people who I'd likely adopt to in a heartbeat (pending application, reference calls, meet-n-greet + homevisit, of course  ) A reputable group will be extremely picky

_"And to force it into a new home would be so traumatic, that I'd want to keep it. And honestly, I don't want a skittish dog."_

Pure speculation on the part of the quoted OP. You either keep working with the dog, allow someone else better suited for it to take over fostering (stressful though it may be) or by that time, you're in love with that "skittish" dog and don't mind keeping it if that's what has to happen. Who knows? But you can go into hypotheticals all day and you don't know how you'll handle it if you've never actually done it before.

_"On the other hand, I could foster the perfect dog, but just can't keep it. To give it up and watch her leave forever would be terrible. Or a very sick dog; I couldn't forgo any needed medical procedures even if I had to pay every cent."_

It wouldn't make you happy to see that perfect dog fitting in with a great family? The dogs don't "leave forever"- you can stay in contact with the new home until you miss them less, and you totally do! It's not like you wake up every day for the rest of your life thinking "oh, man, I should have kept Chloe!" Most of the time, Chloe has quickly been replaced with Baylee or Abbey or who knows, and you're falling in love all over again. As far as medical procedures- when you're fostering for a shelter or rescue, THEY pay the medical bills. Any group that makes the foster homes pay the medical bills, just ignore.

_"Then there is process of picking from several adopters. Having to compare them and let all but one of them down seems like an emotional burden too."_

This is a burden, of course, but as a foster home, you will not have to make this choice (at least not alone- I always let my fosterers have their say as to whether or not a home will work, but it's me that tells the family yes or no. However, the idea that there are "several adopters" waiting at any given time just usually isn't the case unless you're fostering an extremely desirable dog, so fortunately it's just working with them one at a time, MOST of the time, so there is less stress.

As a foster home, you really control the scenario. If you think you might be "stuck" with a dog who just isn't going to work, don't agree to foster it! Know your limitations. I have had to say that lately I can only take highly adoptable dogs that will be in and out in just a few weeks or so because I know that long term fostering at this time isn't going to work for me. I'm doing too much work with my personal dogs' training right now and I have to foster them. I'm not taking in any more cats right now because we have one who is going to be with us a while, I fear. And I will only take in female guinea pigs at this time because they are so much easier for me to house, pair up, and just generally get along with!! There is NO shortage of animals to fill my criteria, nor yours.

I actually wrote a guide (called Foster FAQ) for people who might have questions about fostering. The link for it is on the top of the fostering page of my rescue's website: http://www.starfishtothesea.org/info/display?PageID=1432 It's geared for MY rescue and some will have different rules but most are pretty much in line with mine. I've fostered for several other rescues in the past that were similar.


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## rcravey (Dec 12, 2008)

There are a lot of great replies to this message. When I first started fostering I knew the hardest part would be giving the dog to it's new parents. I foster Jack Russell's through the national Russell Rescue organization and they handle screening the potential adoptive parents. They have a very thorough screening process and I know that when one of my foster's goes to it's forever home they will be in great hands.


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## Pongo9974 (Dec 16, 2008)

If you foster, you have to truly care for animals. Usually those who are in foster are special needs and may be sick as well. So you have to be prepared for the worst!

In the end it is sooooooo worth it!! Those dogs are so appreciative!!


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## MustLuvMutts (Nov 17, 2008)

I know you have decided to foster already. You mentioned that it would be difficult if you got a scared dog and it bonded with you, only to have to be adopted by someone else and loose that trust again. In most cases, the dog won't be considered "adoptable" until it comes around a bit more to other people. As the foster parent, you'd work on socializing the dog and helping him/her to gain trust with others. That's the type of dog you'd have for several months, maybe even longer. By the time the dog was adopted by someone else, he/she wouldn't be the scared dog unable to trust people anymore! And isn't that wonderful? In a county shelter, that dog would probably be euthanized for appearing too timid and anxious, but you would be giving it another chance at life and love.


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## Jen D (Apr 23, 2007)

I just recently adopted one out and she was the longest I had fostered a dog close to a year. She came to me abused, afraid of everything, and not housebroken at all. It was a long year, a lot of work, and she was the hardest for me to place. I found her a good home after turning down many and we have an agreement I can call once a month just to check in.


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## rcravey (Dec 12, 2008)

One of the foster moms for Russell Rescue recently wrote a post about why we foster. It is really heart warming and it reminded me of this thread so I thought I would post a link to it in case anyone would like to check it out. It is at: Why We Do It .


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## ddsalazar (Jan 1, 2009)

Right now we have a stray pit mix that turned up a few days ago. We have been asked to foster our favorite breed Dobermans, but have said no as we didn't feel we could foster and then relinquish a breed of dog we love so very much. This stray girl we will try to re-home is young and even though, she too is not the type of dog we would want for us, she deserves to have a chance for a good life. I have contacted several rescues in hopes of having some assistance in the placing of this pup. I guess we have to think of it as trying to give the best opportunity for a life other than our own.


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## heykristy (Dec 29, 2008)

I had thought long and hard about fostering. A few years ago I don't think it would have been possible for me to do since I don't think I would have been able to part ways with any dog. I still would not be doing it if it were not for my current dog. He is the best helper I could ever have with bringing a younger, not as social, needs to learn manners, etc, dog. 

I got very lucky in finding the rescue organization I'm involved with. They work very hard to place a dog with me that will work in my home. I don't do under a year old dogs, freshly altered dogs and dogs that hate cats. I also do not have to pay any of the expenses while I have a dog except food and toys. 

I don't have such a problem parting ways with a dog that has been with me. I know that will make room in my home for another dog that can be given a 2nd chance. My hardest problem was worrying about their new life. I worried if they were going to get the love, care, etc, that they needed and wanted. That is where having a great organization comes in. My org takes this very seriously. I recently had a young lab that a young couple with a new born and a 1 year old wanted to adopt. With all this already in the family's life our organization wanted to make extra sure bringing a puppy into the home was not going to be an issue. They sent out two of the very tenured home visitors to basically grill this family about the situation. It may sound harsh but the basic goal is to make sure the dog is going to be with a great family and not come back to the organization. I have really learned to trust our organizations leaders and their decisions. I know they wouldn't let a dog go to just any ol' home.


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## Melissa_Chloe (Dec 31, 2008)

I love fostering. It can be painful, difficult, and sad ... but overall the happy ending feels so great!
I've been lucky and the two fosters I've had have been great dogs. 

But to see them go to their new forever home, and get updates with amazing pictures, is just priceless.


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## blueribbon (Jan 18, 2009)

I'd love to foster dogs someday when I am dogless. I suspect that the sadness involved when your foster leaves for a new home is tempered somewhat by the fact a new foster dog will arrive in the future.


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