# Sad after adopting



## Diana27 (Oct 2, 2013)

I cannot find anywhere on the internet about people feeling sad after adopting a dog, not because of the dog they adopted but for the change in relationship with their first dog. Has anyone ever gone thru this? I feel so silly. I am a grown woman with teenagers who runs her own business and I spent the day crying - WTH? We have rescue that we adopted as a puppy and he is now 1 1/2 and a great dog. We brought home this 3 year old rescue girl yesterday and now I'm a mess thinking that my relationship with my dog is forever changed. He seems happy - so what is my problem?


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## SydTheSpaniel (Feb 12, 2011)

My husband felt this exact same way when we brought home a puppy. We had our first dog a 7 year old mix we've had for 5 years. He felt like he was replacing her, or taking away something from her. He just didn't bond with the new puppy the way he was bonded to our older dog - so it definitely does happen. Just give it time and give both dogs as much attention and time as you can give equally.


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## Kayota (Aug 14, 2009)

I did at first, yes. Roxie HATED Faxon and spent most days hiding under the bed. I was extremely distraught by this. Over time we all adjusted and I felt better about the situation.


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## Abbylynn (Jul 7, 2011)

With every single new one I bring home .... It is very normal to feel this way IMO. After a solid routine is down and everyone gets the same amount of love and attention those feelings go away.


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## Kayla_Nicole (Dec 19, 2012)

I also think this is totally normal. We had Alannah since she was 8 weeks old, and when we brought home Murphy, already an adult, it was definitely an adjustment. We just make sure to give them both equal one on one attention. Once everyone gets into a new routine, it will be much better. There is no limit in your heart for loving....you can love each of two dogs as much as you loved one (that's what I kept telling myself).


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## elrohwen (Nov 10, 2011)

I only have one dog, so I haven't experienced this yet, but I did go through it when we got our second rabbit. Bonding rabbits together is stressful, and the new girl was bossy and a handful, and I had a lot of bad feelings about what I was putting my original bunny through. I was very close to taking her back to the person we adopted her from. It took me about a year to really bond with her (her bond with my first rabbit only took 1-2 months) and now I can't imagine our household without her. I think it's a totally normal feeling.


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## sclevenger (Nov 11, 2012)

Normal. We had Luna and then Royce. Both were puppies so pretty easy to love them both and I bonded deeply with Royce. Then Luna went to my sisters and was there for a very long time. Something happened we took her back, and I hated it. I felt like Royce didn't care about me anymore he only wanted to play with Luna, Luna was so calm an gentle and I liked being with her which made me feel guilty totally irrational but normal. Couple weeks went by the newness of Kuna wore off for Riyce and he was back being my shadow and I could share Luna's awesomeness without guilt. Just takes time.


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## Kayota (Aug 14, 2009)

Abbylynn said:


> With every single new one I bring home .... It is very normal to feel this way IMO. After a solid routine is down and everyone gets the same amount of love and attention those feelings go away.


Yup my major issue was that I was spending so much time working with Faxon's fear issues that I wasn't hardly even looking at Roxie some days. Same thing with the bunny right now although she's settling in way faster so it's not as bad, but for a couple days I was really beating myself up.


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## hueyeats (Apr 2, 2013)

I only feel sad when Roman is "hurt" like an injection or when he flinched when I tried combing out his matts etc...

Took us 10 years before adopting Roman... and to both hubby and I, Roman will be that boy child we never have so we wanted to spoiled him rotten and focus all our energies on him only. 

Took me a long time and I have not gotten over my old dog.. so no dog for me seriously.
And getting over Roman I am already dreading... 

And besides, Roman will never be lonely because he usually stays home with me for companionship anyways... No needs for another dog to "buddy" up to.

BUT...
Good that you provided that dog a home.


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## Laurelin (Nov 2, 2006)

The relationship with your first dog does change some when you add a second. I don't know that I was sad but I felt overwhelmed some when I added Mia. It wasn't just 'Summer and Me' anymore, it was suddenly 'Summer and Me and Mia'. And that takes adjusting to. The first bit is also usually a lot about the newcomer so it can feel like you are replacing the other dog. It's just the way it works- you have to pay so much attention to the newcomer at first to get them settled and started fitting in. Once that initial adjustment period is over, it starts evening out. 

My two dogs hit it off right away and now they LOVE each other. I know Summer likes having Mia and I like having Mia. But yes, the first little bit was very stressful at times. It's normal.

I am going to add a third dog in the next 1-2 years and I know we'll go through it again- and probably worse! Mia is used to being the baby forever and she's a little bit of a butt... but we will get through it I'm sure and come to a new 'normal'. Every dog we've added has resulted in me having a small panic attack- even if they are planned as much as can be. Then I breathe in and dig in and it all goes fine in the end.


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