# Feeling overwhelmed with new puppy... please help!



## CrayolaSkies (Feb 26, 2013)

Okay, I am new here and I need advice. Let me start by saying that I am a huge animal lover, particularly with dogs. Currently, my husband and I have a male Cairn Terrier (Sherlock) that we got in Oct. 2009. He is our little buddy, like another member of our family, and we love him to death. Until recently, we also had a Boxer/Shar Pei mix, but due to extreme difference in personality with him and Sherlock, we decided it would be best that he live with my parents. It's a win/win because they love him so much and he has a big back yard to play in over there, whereas we live in an upstairs apartment. So here's my current problem:

A little over 2 weeks ago, my husband and I adopted a 14 week old American Eskimo/Cavalier King Charles mix. We got her from the county dog control so that's the best guess we have regarding her breed. We knew we wanted a second dog again eventually, one that was a better fit for our family than the one we just gave to my parents. We were originally looking for an adult dog, but this puppy was so sweet and loving and willing to please that we couldn't pass her up. We took her home that same day and now I regret to say that I'm thinking it was a mistake. There are several reasons why. First, it was a spur of the moment decision that I didn't think very well through. If we had waited just one day to think about it, I probably would have decided that a puppy was too much and not something I wanted to take on right now. But my husband liked her and it's hard to find dogs he likes so I think that swayed me. An hour after we got home though, I broke down in tears because I felt guilty for already wanting to take her back. Needless to say it was a poor spur of the moment decision on our part. Second, our Sherlock is having a hard time warming up to her. He was this way with our last puppy (the boxer mix) when we first got him, but it passed in a few days and they would play together just fine. Now, Sherlock wants nothing to do with Sadie (the new pup). He growls when she gets too close and shows no interest in playing with her. We always knew he wasn't a fan of most other dogs, but we were hoping he would be as accepting of Sadie as he was with our last puppy. I guess we were just too optimistic.

The third reason I am second-guessing the new pup is that a few days after bringing her home, she started showing symptoms of separation anxiety. I did NOT want another problem dog and all the stress that comes with it. The boxer mix had fear issues that my husband couldn't handle and even our beloved Cairn has territorial issues. I can handle the extreme stubbornness of my Cairn and I was handling the fear issues with the boxer mix until my husband couldn't take it anymore, but for some reason the separation anxiety is too much for me to handle. I find myself dreading having to go anywhere I can't take Sadie with me because I have to deal with her yipping and yapping and drooling and digging in her crate. Maybe she is picking up on my stress and it's making things worse. She is very clingy when she's not in the crate too, and I've tried to put some distance between us, show her it's okay to not be right with me all the time. I mostly do this with the stay command while I am in another room or across the room where she can still see me. And the fourth and final reason is we just found out I am 6 weeks pregnant with our first child. There are going to be a lot of changes and long, sleepless nights ahead and I don't know if I can cope with a dog that frustrates me and a newborn. The hormones are also making this whole situation worse and harder to handle.

I love dogs but for some reason I find myself starting to resent this puppy. Every little thing she does I find incredibly annoying, and most of it is just normal puppy behavior. I will take on an aggressive, stubborn, dominant dog any day, but this clingy separation anxiety stuff is very frustrating for me for some reason. I know it can be fixed if it is worked on consistently over a long period of time but I am just so overwhelmed right now I don't know if I can handle it. I actually find myself fantasizing about only having one dog again (which has never happened before) and thinking about how much easier and less stressful that would be. The worst part is, it's not like she's even a bad dog. She is very smart and has already learned some tricks. And she's the sweetest dog ever, she just wants to love on people. But for some reason I find that trait incredibly annoying. We had a lab when I was a kid that was the same way and it annoyed me then, too.

Basically, I want to know if anyone else out there got a puppy and felt this way about it at first. Did it get better for you? Or does this situation sound more like a dog/owner mismatch? I keep thinking that maybe she would be better off in another home that actually enjoys her wonderful qualities instead of getting annoyed and frustrated with her. And just fyi, if that were to happen, we would not just give her back to the shelter. We would wait a month or two until she's spayed and then take the time to find her a well-matched forever home. I have no problem re-homing an animal if it's what's best for the animal and the people involved. I'd hate to give up on her so soon, but I also can't picture being this overwhelmed with her for months on end, especially with a baby on the way. I don't think I can take the extra stress right now. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated as I am almost at my wit's end.


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

I have cried through every puppy I have ever had, from the time they came home to about 4 months old when they started to get potty trained and grow a brain. Then I cried through (all but one, who is a freak and makes me cry for different reasons) of them being about 6 to 18/24 month old teenagers. The sleep deprivation, the constant supervision, the biting, the training, the screaming/crying in the crate (which is normal at that age, not separation anxiety), the financial expense, the disruption to the other dogs and household routine, the socialization, the formation of a new routine-. They're hard, they can be overwhelming. I have teenager children old enough to help, a husband who helps, and I work from home. 

I think your puppy sounds normal. I think there's nothing mismatched in your personality or responses here; those sound normal, too.

You could not pay me, however, to go through pregnancy with a young puppy or doggy adolescence with a newborn. No way, no how, nuh-uh. And that's just time, money, and sleep. Add in hormonal upheaval and I think I'd rather be drawn and quartered. If you need to rehome her, do not feel guilty. Just... hold off on that second dog until you're in the swing of things with your baby and family, then try again.


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## CrayolaSkies (Feb 26, 2013)

Thank you so much for your understanding and helpful reply, CptJack! It's nice to hear that it may not be actual separation anxiety but something she will grow out of eventually. I certainly hope so! It would make life a lot less stressful. Going through my pregnancy and having a newborn with a young dog in training does still concern me and it's good to hear that someone else understands. I don't know if we will end up keeping her or not but I agreed with my husband to give it a month before we considered giving her up as a real possibility. She will be 4 and 1/2 months by then so maybe things will have calmed down a bit to a point where I can handle it. We will see.

Also, I think I also have feelings of resentment toward her because I miss my boxer mix. He was the first dog I raised from a puppy and was a giant goofball. I would have been perfectly happy keeping him but my husband was beyond frustrated with his fearful behavior (which was only amplified by the contrast in our stubborn, not-afraid-of-anything Cairn), so we decided re-homing him would be best. I love my dogs, but my husband comes first. At least Jude (the boxer mix) is with my parents so I can visit him when we are in town. I still miss him though, quite a bit. He could always make me laugh with his silliness and gentle sweetness. Sadie is sweet too, but it's more of an in-your-face kind of sweetness. I think she was the dominant one in her litter because she seems to think she knows what she is doing all the time, is very take charge, and even tries to dominate and take toys from Sherlock. And he actually lets her just because he doesn't want to have her yapping in his face and biting him. If we do re-home her, I will take your advice and not get another dog for a while, at least not until the baby is a little older and we are in a place with a fenced back yard. And even then, I don't think it will be a puppy but an adult dog, maybe another terrier. Our little family seems to get along very well with those breeds. We find their huge personalities and stubbornness very endearing. It's almost like you can tell what they are thinking.


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

There are definitely some differences in breeds that lead to... culture shock and take some adjusting. Going from Jack and Kylie (dignified, reserved and fairly aloof with strangers, very polite dogs) to a Boston was UNREAL (Boston Terriers: Not Terriers - Bully breeds, act like mini boxers and goof balls who are IN YOUR FACE). Then going from all these 25lb and under dogs to the current GSD/Probably Pyr X? Yeah. I feel like I'm being educated, on a constant basis. 

I also, honestly, don't think I've ever bonded with a single dog before I've had it a month. Ever. Can't. Too busy being made of flail.

That said, my husband is helpful and even when he's not crazy about an individual just kind of... grits his teeth and deals. Which works out well because otherwise we would SO not still have that huge monster puppy who right now is owning my life. He's not crazy about the size, the exuberance, the shedding, or the personality. Doesn't really change how he interacts with the dog, though, which I really appreciate.


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## doxiemommy (Dec 18, 2009)

It sounds normal to me, as well. You have a lot going on in your life right now, so maybe you are just more stressed at this puppy thing than normal. But, take a deep breath, and try to do something for yourself, even if it means getting a puppy sitter. The constant taking care of a puppy that you're not sure about will definitely continue to drain you. I remember when our dogs were puppies it was a relief to go grocery shopping (husband at home with the puppy!) because it was a break from the puppy!

A couple thoughts:

- does Sherlock have a place to go to be "puppy free"? Like a crate, or something? It's a good idea to give him a place to get away, so that he doesn't always feel bothered by the new puppy.
- praise and treat Sherlock for being calm and gentle around the puppy. If he thinks he just may get treats for being nice to the puppy, it could cause a positive association with the puppy.
- make sure to give Sherlock his walks and training/play time separately from the puppy so he still has one on one time.
- for Sadie, when you are trying to get her used to not being right there next to you, do you give her anything to occupy herself? Have you tried settling her down somewhere (a crate, or a puppy bed) with a frozen, stuffed kong, and then going about some chores? We stuff our kongs with peanut butter, and honestly, our puppies loved it! The house could fall down around them, and they wouldn't care, if they had their peanut butter kongs! 
Giving her something to do that involves something yummy will help teach her independence. She will learn she can do something on her own without you being right there.
- another trick (when you have some time): settle down on the couch with Sadie. Just when she gets comfortable, get up to get a book. Then come back and sit down. A minute later, go get a drink, then sit back down. A couple minutes later, go get a sweater, then sit back down. A couple minutes later go get a different book, sit back down. A minute later, go get a pillow, sit back down. Make tons and tons of silly, boring trips to get stuff (that you don't really need  ) The point is, you want her to start feeling like all this getting up to follow you is boring and irritating, and that it's better to just stay in her comfy spot and wait for you.

On a side note, you will never know when a puppy or dog you bring into your family will have some type of physical or behavioral issues. It doesn't matter whether you purchase, rescue, adopt, whatever. You will never be absolutely, positively sure that the dog or puppy will not have an issue that you find challenging. It would be unfortunate to get into the habit of returning or rehoming dogs because they don't come to you free of challenges.
Now, I understand that sometimes there are issues where a dog just doesn't work out with your family or lifestyle (like your boxer) and you did a great thing in sending him to your parents, it was a win-win. But, even if your new puppy did have SA, there are lots of things you can do to manage it, in some situations. 
I also understand that you are under a lot of stress, and have mentioned that you do feel guilty for thinking of returning Sadie already, so, perhaps a lot of this is due to being overstressed.
But, if you are looking for a second dog without issues, there's no guarantee. Please don't be offended, I just wanted to touch on that, as this is the second dog you are considering rehoming/returning in a short period of time.


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## CrayolaSkies (Feb 26, 2013)

@CptJack: I wish my husband was as supportive. He likes animals but not nearly on the level that I do. He gets frustrated when I ask for him to help with simple things, like take the puppy out to go potty when he gets home from work because I've been doing it all day. It would be nice if he would be supportive, regardless of whether or not he feels like it. If that were the case, we would still have our boxer mix.

I think overall I just need to accept that my husband is not the dog person I am. He had them growing up, but they were outside dogs who didn't invade your space. They were animals to him, not family members. My home was completely the opposite growing up. Our dogs slept in our beds every night and we took them anywhere we could. Heck, they even got their own Christmas stockings full of fun doggy bones and toys. I should be thankful that he likes our Cairn as much as he does and not pressure him to get another dog (the 3 we've had so far in our marriage have been because I wanted a dog, not him). I think I should be focusing on our new human addition now anyway, not another furry one. Thanks for listening to my problems and giving helpful advice.

@doxiemommy: I'm not offended at all. You are actually right. I know all dogs come with their own set of issues that need to be worked on. Sherlock was hell on wheels for the first year we had him as he was only about a year old and this exploding ball of energy and attitude. After he hit 2, he settled down some, but that was also after a tremendous amount of work and training on my part. He's now 4 and much more mellow. Jude was the same way. I worked on his fear issues for the 2 years we had him but it got to a point where I realized my husband was never going to be fully on board in helping to train him. It was so frustrating because I would make some progress with him, then my husband would react in anger to Jude being jumpy at a strange noise or some other nonsense. Jude could sense that frustration and would get more afraid, this time of my husband. That would of course make my husband more angry at the dog for being afraid. And then I would have to start from square one with the dog again. You can see how frustrating this was for me and unfair it was to the dog. My point is though, I have had no problem in the past putting effort and training into a dog. But for some reason (I'm guessing hormones) this new puppy is trying my patience on a level I've never experienced before. I think it just wasn't the right time to get a new dog, puppy or otherwise. I think I was still sad over not having my Jude anymore that the thought of a new dog was appealing because it would give me something to do, something to distract me. It was a stupid reason to get a new dog and I think it just made things worse. And low and behold, just one week after getting the puppy we find out we're pregnant. Between the hormones and the new responsibility of a baby on the horizon, I'm so overwhelmed that the thought of finding Sadie a new home makes me feel a little guilty, but mostly it makes me feel relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. I also feel bad because she deserves an owner who's not frustrated with her most of the time, but one who will be able to give her the time and training she needs. It almost feels like our last dog, except instead of my husband being the perpetuator of the problem, now it's me.

Thanks for all your tips, too. I've tried the Kong thing and she eats the peanut butter because it's gone when I get back, but she still carries on with the whining and crying and digging to be let out. I've also tried praising Sherlock for the few times where he has let her near him without complaint, the progress is just much slower than I expected. I've also been making sure to give him cuddle time with Sadie put away so he doesn't feel too overwhelmed by her and that seems to help him relax some.

Basically, I just feel really impulsive and stupid for getting a puppy when I clearly wasn't ready. I'm usually much more careful with my decisions but I guess I was acting on my emotions. I know I didn't know about being pregnant when we got her but I did know I was missing my other dog and wanted to fill the void. I think I'm paying the price for it now because whether we keep her or find her a new home, it's going to be hard either way. I guess this was a lesson learned.


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## Candydb (Jul 16, 2011)

Just wanted to say you sound like you will have alot on your plate with the new baby... And if a needy dog gets on your nerves right now, wait til you have alittle infant that needs you 24/7 AND a clingy dog. My input would be to rehome her now while she has a better chance at getting adopted out (that puppy factor we all succumb to!).... Dont wait til shes an adult dog... it would be best if she does NOT have to languish at a shelter for long, that certainly wont help her anxiety issues..... And no worries, you did the best you could, just try to think of what is best for her.... (And your family and the new little baby, and even your Cairn terrier will having some adjustments to make as well ).....


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## megs2219 (Feb 23, 2013)

I think puppies are a bit like babies - are we ever really totally ready? I did a lot of research before I got my puppy - spent a lot of time thinking about it an years waiting for things to fall in place (finally having a house with a yard, working from home so he's not left alone all day, etc). And I still had some of those feelings when I first got him. I remember at some points thinking i had made a terrible mistake and should i find him another home but now I would never consider it. My dog is actually a cairn terrier (mix probably) but he's pretty clingy and follows me around everywhere. He also WHINES like insanity whenever i leave him however I try to remember he's not left often and he has it better than a lot of other dogs. That said I'm not pregnant and I can't imagine going thru the new puppy stage while also dealing with all of that. How old will the pup be when the baby comes? I'd say if he's not already going to be a year it might make sense to re-home him that just sounds like too much. I'd take a couple weeks, thinking about it and if your gut tells you he needs a new home then don't feel guilty about it. You still rescued him from the dog control and I'm sure are being good parents to him. If you find him a forever home you would still be doing a great service to him.


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## sclevenger (Nov 11, 2012)

I too would give it more time before you rehome the puppy. Im going through something similar with out new sheltie puppy. She is different than what Im used to, Im used to velcro dogs that just seem to know what you want. Where she is just kinda duh..lol. That and she has a very sweet, gentle softness about her. She is extremely attached to my fiance and training has been a nightmare for me. Which for me is hard because I pride myself a little on trick training, Im not the best but Im pretty good and I just can't get through to this pup like my fiance can...who should I mention as only had 1 dog his entire life and that was when he was 9...lol. So I've been growing lots of resentment, have said a lot of things I don't mean towards her and have threatened to give her away, I have even cried...while my fiance looks on completely bewildered because he doesn't understand what my problem is because he thinks she is sent from heaven. I had to pull myself out of this. 

1. I realized I was still grieving for my last Aussie, my heart breed and dog, which made me unable to let Luna in. It had been months since we lost him, I thought I was over him, but I wasn't. 
2. I realized that if I kept putting off negative hate vibes towards Luna, she would pick up on them and react negatively towards me(actually I didn't realize this, my fiance told me this) giving me a harder time.
3. I realized that I had to accept her personality for who she was and love her for that, not expect her to change, I don't expect my daughter to change her fiery, independent temper just because it drives me insane, I love her for her. 
4. I realized I should be happy for my fiance that he found the dog that I had lost, they are really close and she responds so well to him. 
5. I also realized that Luna's personality was exactly like mine, and they always say you don't like people..or in this case dogs that are like yourself. I like dogs that are my alter ego. haha

So, after realizing all this I changed my attitude and...we are doing great. Last night we even cuddled on the couch for an hour while I watched a show, we even took pictures together. lol. She is a great little dog who is still just a puppy trying to figure it all out. She even sits for me now. 

I know my situation is different than yours, but I just wanted to share that if your open to change your thinking about it, you can overcome a personality clash. 

A breeder we spoke to me told me about what her vets philosophy is, he says out of every 10 dogs you own: 3 will be the greatest dogs you ever owned, your heart dog as some call it, 5 will be right in the middle, great dogs, but no sparks, but still you love them and wouldn't change them, 2 will drive you absolutely insane, there is nothing you can do to make yourself ever really "LOVE" this dog, you will just tolerate it the rest of its life. I thought this was a pretty good thought process, because your not going to have that special spark for every dog you own, and I believe there are dogs that you absolutely will never be happy with ever, but then there are those dogs that fall right in the middle. I think the key is finding where your dog falls. She is just a puppy right now, so she is going to drive you insane no matter what, lol. But I think taking a deeper look at her and finding where she really falls is a good step. Thats what I did with Luna, I realized that she isn't going to drive me completely insane all my life, she is a good dog, there just isn't a spark, but I'll love her greatly anyways. 

I hope you don't give up on her, everyone on here as great advice on how to make puppy raising a little easier, so take some of their advice and really listen to yourself!! YOu will make it  

As far as the pregnancy goes, Congrats first off, but secondly you can overcome that too. When I got my surprise your pregnant my aussie/cattle mix Pirate was very young, like 5sih months old and though he was my heart dog, he was a terror...I was scared out of my mind and I was put on bed rest to top it off after almost miscarrying twice, I thought I can't keep this dog, he's to much, but everything worked out, in the time before she was born, we worked hard with him to learn everything he needed to and he turned out amazing!!


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## CptJack (Jun 3, 2012)

CrayolaSkies said:


> @CptJack: I wish my husband was as supportive. He likes animals but not nearly on the level that I do. He gets frustrated when I ask for him to help with simple things, like take the puppy out to go potty when he gets home from work because I've been doing it all day. It would be nice if he would be supportive, regardless of whether or not he feels like it. If that were the case, we would still have our boxer mix.


My husband and I have had 15 years and a couple of kids to get a lot of kinks worked out, but the bottom line for me (and this is dog related) that I am a Dog Person, he is not. Dogs are important to me. They're not to him. (He is an animal person in general, just not a DOG person). I accept that, and recognize it. 

I was willing to forgo having dogs at all, and have done so for various periods of my life. I am willing and prepared to do the bulk of the work. I am not willing to own dogs that he does NOTHING with. Not while I am also working, doing the bulk of the childcare with two kids (one of them special needs) and housework. So, bottom line is: I don't push. I don't nag. I broach the subject, but it doesn't come in without his (and now that the kids are older their) full consent and approval and agreement to help. That means when they're home from school and Michael is home from work - they DANGED WELL HELP. If they don't? There are COME TO JESUS meetings about how I didn't shove this dog down their throat, they said they wanted the thing, and if they find themselves disinclined to do the minimal amount of work I ask them to do (reenforcing the training I do, letting them out, helping me give baths or trim nails), then they're welcome to take over some other chore for me - like the laundry, cooking dinner, or scrubbing the baseboards.

I'm not actually a jerk about it? But dude. They're dogs. They're family members. They're in with everyone's agreement, and 'it's not mine' isn't something that's going to happen in this house. 

Fortunately, my husband grew up with dogs treated much like this - went everywhere, were kept inside, vetted when necessary, etc. So, his default is 'do it right or don't do it' and 'once you commit, it's for life'. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure... I would either not have dogs, or not have a husband. And I NEED dogs for my mental health the way I don't really need a husband. Not that I'd leave him for not wanting dogs, just. Honestly, life without dogs does bad things to my head.


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## Amaryllis (Dec 28, 2011)

Kabota did not do it for me at first. He really didn't. For one thing, he was extremely shut down, and for another, his personality is just very chill and laid back. He had none of the showy, forward, hyper intelligent charm of my previous dog, so in the comparison, Kabota was very blah. 

But once I made a commitment to see Kabota for Kabota, and not in comparison to Muggsy, I found all sorts of wonderful, quiet, subtle things about him. Things that I love and appreciate. Things that I'm glad I have now. 

We get the dogs we need, not the dogs we want. Muggsy taught me patience and sacrifice, Kabota teaches me the subtle pleasures of quiet contentment, who knows what the next dog will teach me? All I know is that it will be something I need to learn.


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## sclevenger (Nov 11, 2012)

CptJack said:


> My husband and I have had 15 years and a couple of kids to get a lot of kinks worked out, but the bottom line for me (and this is dog related) that I am a Dog Person, he is not. Dogs are important to me. They're not to him. (He is an animal person in general, just not a DOG person). I accept that, and recognize it.
> 
> I was willing to forgo having dogs at all, and have done so for various periods of my life. I am willing and prepared to do the bulk of the work. I am not willing to own dogs that he does NOTHING with. Not while I am also working, doing the bulk of the childcare with two kids (one of them special needs) and housework. So, bottom line is: I don't push. I don't nag. I broach the subject, but it doesn't come in without his (and now that the kids are older their) full consent and approval and agreement to help. That means when they're home from school and Michael is home from work - they DANGED WELL HELP. If they don't? There are COME TO JESUS meetings about how I didn't shove this dog down their throat, they said they wanted the thing, and if they find themselves disinclined to do the minimal amount of work I ask them to do (reenforcing the training I do, letting them out, helping me give baths or trim nails), then they're welcome to take over some other chore for me - like the laundry, cooking dinner, or scrubbing the baseboards.
> 
> ...


Haha, I feel like you do. My fiance loves animals.....but not dogs, the only one he ever loved was his BC growing up, and probably mainly because his parents did all the work, he got the fun part of playing ball in the backyard. As much as he loves Luna he still sometimes when I say something needs done, he is like...I hate dogs..., I want a cat...lol. Im allergic so he can't have a cat...but he gets things done. Better now that he loves Luna so much, when we still had my Aussie I would come home from work at 6:30 and he would still be in his kennel, Fiance gets home at 2:30!!!!! Like seriously, you couldn't let him out....I did, I just put him back because he annoys me. "face palm" 

But he does the best he can, he knows my love for dogs and knows that I need them in my life and I accept that he will never treat them like kids, So I really don't mind picking up the extra doggie work, but he needs to at least pick up some extra house work. lol.


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## sclevenger (Nov 11, 2012)

Amaryllis said:


> Kabota did not do it for me at first. He really didn't. For one thing, he was extremely shut down, and for another, his personality is just very chill and laid back. He had none of the showy, forward, hyper intelligent charm of my previous dog, so in the comparison, Kabota was very blah.
> 
> But once I made a commitment to see Kabota for Kabota, and not in comparison to Muggsy, I found all sorts of wonderful, quiet, subtle things about him. Things that I love and appreciate. Things that I'm glad I have now.
> 
> We get the dogs we need, not the dogs we want. Muggsy taught me patience and sacrifice, Kabota teaches me the subtle pleasures of quiet contentment, who knows what the next dog will teach me? All I know is that it will be something I need to learn.


I really liked this. Getting the dogs that teach us what we need to learn. This is something I'll remember on the days I feel down about Luna again. I never once thought of this, but you make a good point.

With all my other dogs they were high energy, on the move, test my patience wackos that we never for a minute took time to just enjoy life together, in a sense. With Luna, she makes me have to relax, speak gentler, and pay more attention. Never though about actually learning from it and taking it into my life. 

Thanks Amaryllis, I needed this, even if this thread wasn't for me!!


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## Cotonlove (Jan 29, 2012)

Amaryllis said:


> Kabota did not do it for me at first. He really didn't. For one thing, he was extremely shut down, and for another, his personality is just very chill and laid back. He had none of the showy, forward, hyper intelligent charm of my previous dog, so in the comparison, Kabota was very blah.
> 
> But once I made a commitment to see Kabota for Kabota, and not in comparison to Muggsy, I found all sorts of wonderful, quiet, subtle things about him. Things that I love and appreciate. Things that I'm glad I have now.
> 
> We get the dogs we need, not the dogs we want. Muggsy taught me patience and sacrifice, Kabota teaches me the subtle pleasures of quiet contentment, who knows what the next dog will teach me? All I know is that it will be something I need to learn.


Oh my......this sure is a great way to look at things. Something I will certainly remember on "those days."


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## CrayolaSkies (Feb 26, 2013)

Thanks for the support, everyone! I was not having a good day emotionally and was just missing my boxer mix. I know re-homing him was the right thing to do in that situation but I guess I expected Sadie to fill the void he left behind. Which wasn't a realistic expectation at all because every dog is different, like you all have said. Some of our dogs are just the perfect "fit" for us right away and others will never be your idea of a perfect dog, but will be beloved pets nonetheless that enrich your life. I had a long talk with my husband about the way I was feeling about her and we agreed that things would get easier in the next few months when she is fully potty trained. Plus I've never seen him this attached to a dog before so I would hate to take that away from him, especially since I've been encouraging him to have an interest in dogs for the 3 and 1/2 years we've been married.

I also realized that I can't expect her to be the perfect dog if I don't put the work in. She really is very smart and learns quickly so that's a plus. She actually learned to give her paw today in just 3 tries! I think a lot of the problems I was having with her was because I wasn't having the right attitude. As soon as I decided to just accept her for who she is and not who I wanted her to be, she was much more compliant. She even went in her crate the other night with no poking or prodding, just by me saying "in your crate". And the whining and crying when she's alone has lessened over the past two days as well. I think Sherlock is picking up on the fact that I've accepted her as well because this morning he actually played with her for the first time! She was tearing circles around the living room and suddenly Sherlock play bowed when she came by him and then started running in circles too! She started chasing him and they faced off, slapping the ground with their paws. It was too cute! Then Sherlock came to his senses and acted all dignified again but that 20 seconds of crazy-hyper play between them was soooo encouraging to me.

Sadie will never replace Jude in my heart, but that's okay. She will still be an important part of our family and I will love her for different reasons than I love Jude. The horizon looks a lot brighter now.


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## Lucy Brees (Aug 20, 2012)

I am a first time dog owner of an 8 month old. Things are great now but boy did I wonder what I got myself into those first few months. And I have older kids, and work from home. Much less stress than you have to deal with. Hang in there, cut yourself some slack (and pup too) and will all smooth out. Hugs


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