# Still struggling.... and suffering severe puppy blues.



## Hannah&Willow (Sep 28, 2015)

Tomorrow will be two weeks with my shelter puppy, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better or easier. She came to me with several health issues, which are getting much better, but it seems that with each problem that we overcome, a new one crops up. 

So now she doesn't have diarrhea up to 8 times a day, and she seems to be catching on to the fact that all pottying should be done outside when possible, but NOW she is barking all night in her crate/confinement area, which she did NOT do for the first week- and-a-half. 

I'm exhausted, stressed and a nervous wreck. I have a sick feeling in my stomach and I'm on the verge of tears all the time, and spend a great deal of time actually crying. Similar to women who dream of being mothers, get pregnant on purpose and prepare for most of their lives plus nine months only to suffer severe postpartum depression, I think this is real thing, and beyond my control. I have always loved dogs, have had dogs in childhood, have wanted a dog for a long time, and researched and prepared before bringing my puppy home, but now I'm as miserable as can be. I've been hoping that the positives would start to outweigh the negatives soon, but so far this is a really distressing and unpleasant situation. 

Complicating this problem for me is that my puppy is very sweet and loveable (when she's not busy driving me crazy) and I would be heartbroken to have to rehome her. I feel like there is no way to win. 

I'm sorry this is so long, and PLEASE... I don't need any replies to make me feel like a more horrible person than I already do, but if anyone has any helpful input on the sudden nighttime barking or knowing when it's best to keep at it and when you should wave the white flag.... I'd appreciate any helo or support I can get.


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## FaithFurMom09 (Oct 24, 2009)

No one said getting a dog would be easy and they dont come all cute and perfect with a nice ribbon. 

For the barking i would work on the quiet command. Tell her quiet when she barks and reward when she quiets down or completely. Also try giving her something to tire her out before crating- a good long play session or walk. Maybe even a Kong to help keep her busy. Have you crate trained her or just throw her in there and hope it works? Start by leaving the door open and feeding her in there. Maybe it a positive place.


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## notgaga (Oct 25, 2014)

The whining all night should lessen after a few days. It's annoying and terrible (and for the record I didn't even make it past one night before giving in and letting my puppy sleep with me). I would suggest a sound machine and ear plugs. There are free apps/videos you can get if you have a smartphone or a computer nearby. Or they can be bought fairly cheap at like a target. Also I'd give her with frozen stuffed kongs or bully sticks at bedtime to keep her quiet for some measure of time.

I also had the puppy blues for a few weeks. I could only eat pop tarts, AND my puppy was mean (by puppy standards, which I was unprepared for). She was cute and nibbled on my ear the first night she was with me which was kinda a big factor into why I didn't return her, plus the humane society was closed for like 2 days after I got her.

It's just an adjustment and takes time. And it can suck.


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## Sarah101 (Jun 27, 2015)

Deleted I am leaving this forum.


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## Hiraeth (Aug 4, 2015)

Puppies are plain hard. I'm not sure where the "oh, they're so cute and amazing and fun" idea came from. Because they're cute when they're sleeping, and that's about it. They're hardly ever fun or amazing. In fact, they're a crap ton of hard work, sleepless nights, no social life, worry and cleaning up pee. That's what a puppy is. 

I wish the idea would stop proliferating that puppies are all sunshine and rainbows, because then people would go into it more prepared for the reality - hard work and patience with very few rewards until you're about a year to a year and a half down the line. 

I have a 11.5 week old Great Dane right now, and whenever I get frustrated, or tired, or whatever, I think about how I'll feel in 8-9 years (hopefully), when I take him to the vet for the final time. Then I'll look back on his life and wish that I'd enjoyed every single second, both bad and good. So I try to enjoy the bad, and understand that it's part of the journey and that it'll make the good all that much more worthwhile in about 9 months


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## Hannah&Willow (Sep 28, 2015)

Thank you for the replies. I know I have to find a way to get through this, no matter the personal cost, because my sweet puppy is worth it. I just really hope it gets better soon, even a little bit. It helps to hear that I'm not the only person who has struggled with puppyhood, because really... the general perception is that there's nothing better. I've taken care of newborns that were MUCH easier to deal with than a puppy is. You just don't really know until you know. And now I know!


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## Hiraeth (Aug 4, 2015)

Hannah&Willow said:


> Thank you for the replies. I know I have to find a way to get through this, no matter the personal cost, because my sweet puppy is worth it. I just really hope it gets better soon, even a little bit. It helps to hear that I'm not the only person who has struggled with puppyhood, because really... the general perception is that there's nothing better. I've taken care of newborns that were MUCH easier to deal with than a puppy is. You just don't really know until you know. And now I know!


Ugh. I think puppies are way worse than newborns, in some regards. I've never had a newborn, but my friends have a few at this point, so I've been exposed to the rigors of child raising.

I think there are two particular things more difficult about puppies than newborns. Firstly, if a baby pees or poops, there's a diaper there to keep it off of your carpet. So you grab the kid, clean and change it, and then you're good, most of the time. With puppies, when they have an accident, it's grab the puppy, run outside, hope the puppy goes again so you can reward it for going outside, come back in, clean up the mess, and then start over again in 20-30 minutes. The whole process is just SO much longer.

The other horrible thing is that puppies are so mobile so young. While a baby can be placed in a play pen, or sat in front of a tv and can generally self-entertain for short periods of time, there is no such thing with a puppy (or at least, not mine). And an unsupervised puppy can cause ridiculous amounts of damage in a short period of time (I fear for my winter boots). It's just exhausting.

I actually dislike puppies. And babies. Intensely. The only reason I have a puppy is that the particular breed I wanted really needs to be carefully maintained from a very young age to prevent health issues, so I decide the best way to get a healthy adult dog was to own it from puppyhood. So I am right there with you - this sucks! You will definitely get through it, and your relationship with your dog will be the better for it! You'll be able to appreciate how wonderful an adult she is when you can reflect back on her awful puppy phases


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## Nissa M (Nov 3, 2014)

Good evening! It was one year ago, I think almost exactly, that I was in a very similar place to where you are now. Your post brought back some big feelings for me. How you describe feeling, it's how I felt too, and I recall really worrying that as long as I kept this puppy I would never feel better. And the guilt I felt about that - phew. I'm actually remembering a moment where I described the feelings I was having at that time as a puppy postpartum depression. I even said this to a friend who'd just had a baby, in tears on my living room floor, totally confused and sad and overtired and overwhelmed. I'm generally not too dramatic and try to be sensitive to the experiences of others. Of course I realize now that that I was not actually experiencing postpartum depression, and that i would say something like that, at a time like that, to a friend who was herself having a difficult time, reflects the hugeness of the feelings I was having about bringing the puppy into my life. The experience of actually having the puppy really did not align with what I had been dreaming about for years. All of my preparing and planning did not (in those early weeks) seem to have anywhere to land, and I really was struggling to make sense of this that - all while I was confronted every moment with this little thing that needed so much from me all the time. I felt like a.. failure? disappointment? bad person? Ohh there were so many feelings and it was such a crazy time. 

Fastforward to today. It's not been a smooth ride but I do feel it's been a really important one for many reasons. I am more than in love and certain that I made the right choice in sticking it out with this puppy. So many things, big things and small things, happen every day to remind me of this. So many things also drive me totally bonkers and I sometimes say out loud, 'what is even happening?!?" but the difference is now there is never even a fraction of a second where I feel regretful or unsure. 

For sure once you get some of these sleep issues sorted you are going to feel a thousand times better. I would encourage you to try to sort that out as best you can and re-evaluate what will be the best plan for you and your pup once you're both better rested. This was huge for me. If you haven't already, I'd start a new thread just about this or else sort through some of the older archived posts about training strategies for this issue.

Finally, I'm glad you posted and you will find support and solidarity here. It takes courage to share stuff like this. I couldn't at the time, I felt like that badly and embarrassed about what was happening, and in hindsight really wish that I had. No matter what you decide, it will be okay and it will be the right thing. Sending good thoughts your way.


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## Dog Person (Sep 14, 2012)

I believe my first post here 3 years ago was about my puppy that all she does is scream at the top of her lungs when crated and does it get any better? It does!!  If you would have been outside my house it would have sounded as though we were torturing her and all we did was put her in her crate.

Zoey also had recurring ear infections and UTIs ... one month it was one then the next month it was the other, then repeat. That too got better.

What it might be since your pup had the runs and you were constantly around, everything was fine but now that you have it in the crate it's lonely or scared but eventually your pup should settle down.

As Zoey settled in everything started to mesh - she accepted the crate, was potty trained in about 3 weeks (she was about 4-5 months old when we got her), she wasn't that obnoxious although she was far from an angel. We adopted her at a time that I had a week scheduled for vacation and I stayed with her 24/7 for the first 3 or 4 days and weaned her off of my physical presence in the remaining days; it was tough though to hear her scream but it did get better.

Hang in there, it does get better and you do forget about the bad things when they have been around a while and things are great. Someone mentioned like a child - same thing applies, most parents forget what they went through as a newborn enters their lives and have more than one child once things are great.


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## elrohwen (Nov 10, 2011)

Read this: http://3lostdogs.com/thinking-of-re...to-the-shelterbreeder-please-read-this-first/

It should make you feel better. You aren't alone, and this happens to lots of people. Do a forum search for "puppy blues".

The good thing is that they are not puppies forever. All of the things that are stressing you out right now will eventually end and you will have a lovely companion.


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## BellaPup (Jul 7, 2007)

Hang in there - it DOES get easier, no matter how impossible that seems! All puppies (with the exception of a few rare oddities here and there) are evil in disguise. I went through the exact same thing. It nearly still brings me to tears to think that I was _soooo_ close to returning her to the rescue. 

I look at her graying face and think that if I had given up, someone else right now would be looking at that face...and giving her kisses...throwing her ball...and snuggling with her! It kills me. But I appreciate her even more when I think what I was about to give up on.


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## ForTheLoveOfDogs (Jun 3, 2007)

I get it -- puppies are hard. I really had a hard time with my BC puppy. I really, legitimately kind of hated her. Just hang in there and it will get better.

Have you signed up for a puppy class now that the health issues are passing? Puppy classes can help tire the puppy out, help you work in training and help form a better bond to puppy. I would also brush up on some extra crate games.


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## Jen2010 (Feb 12, 2013)

Sorry to hear things aren't getting better for you, but they will. 

When she starts barking at night what do you do? Do you get up or ignore her? Is the crate in your bedroom or in a different room? Maybe she's just still lonely. I'd have the crate in your room for now if you can.

If you don't think she has to go to the bathroom I would ignore the barking/whining. Put your hand near the crate so she can sniff it and know you're there. If you do think she might have to go then take her out to the bathroom, but then straight back in to her crate. Hopefully she'll learn that barking gets her out to the bathroom only, no play time.

When I got Pepper, I was so excited to get a puppy and had several weeks to prepare before bringing her home. I think I played it up in my mind how awesome it would be, but it wasn't. She was a bratty, obnoxious puppy who loved to get into trouble. She also went through several bouts of diarrhea/antibiotics. For months I could barely leave her alone long enough to have a shower; I was in tears several time. 

But all of a sudden one day you realize that it's not like that anymore and you're not even sure when things changed.



> I have a 11.5 week old Great Dane right now, and whenever I get frustrated, or tired, or whatever, I think about how I'll feel in 8-9 years (hopefully), when I take him to the vet for the final time. Then I'll look back on his life and wish that I'd enjoyed every single second, both bad and good. So I try to enjoy the bad, and understand that it's part of the journey and that it'll make the good all that much more worthwhile in about 9 months


 This is excellent advice. I've thought the same thing about my dogs.


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## BellaPup (Jul 7, 2007)

Jen2010 said:


> If you don't think she has to go to the bathroom I would ignore the barking/whining. Put your hand near the crate so she can sniff it and know you're there. If you do think she might have to go then take her out to the bathroom, but then straight back in to her crate. Hopefully she'll learn that barking gets her out to the bathroom only, no play time.


Excellent advice^^^ 
This is what we did with Bella after the first couple nights of non-stop crying/no sleep. We brought the crate into the bedroom so she could see, hear and smell us...so she knew she wasn't alone. I was floored that her crying stopped immediately unless she had to go potty. And follow advice above. Limit the talking, petting or any other "fun" actions - potty, light praises "good girl!" and back to bed. Period. 

After she was used to being crated at night, and could hold it for at least 4-6 hours or so, we started inching the crate closer and closer to the bedroom door little by little and finally out into the hall where the crate would stay.


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