# childless couple: getting a puppy before, during or after having kids



## mintesa (Mar 30, 2008)

Hi
I was not sure where to post this question 
Well, anyway we are thinking of getting a puppy, we are still reading a lot and searching breeds. My husband really wants a German Sheperd and nothing else. I like them too, and bichon frise, chihuahua or a Saint Bernard.

We are planning to have kids after 2 to 5 years.
So I am wondering, should I wait to get a puppy until after the baby/kid is older, or should I get a puppy during the maternity leave? Or is it oki to have a dog now and have babies after some time, lets say the dog would be 2 years old by then... What do you think?


Thank you in advanced.


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## FilleBelle (Aug 1, 2007)

I would try not to have a pup and a newborn in the house at the same time, if I could help it. When I say "pup," I'm talking up to two years old. 

If I were able to plan in a perfect world, I would probably get the dog first, wait a couple years, and have the kid. Or maybe have the kid first and then adopt an adult dog that was proven child-friendly. 

On the other hand, I don't want children at all, so I haven't really thought about the ups and downs of the timing.


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

Personally, a puppy *instead* of kids is a much better choice.


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## FilleBelle (Aug 1, 2007)

We must have been posting at the same time, Reno. Great minds think alike!!


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

FilleBelle said:


> We must have been posting at the same time, Reno. Great minds think alike!!


You know it!!!


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## mintesa (Mar 30, 2008)

Renoman said:


> Personally, a puppy *instead* of kids is a much better choice.


 that would be my choice too, but my husband eventually wants to breed himself


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## Renoman (Mar 20, 2007)

yeah but he's a guy so what does he know??

Seriously, you don't want a baby and a puppy in the house at the same time.. that's tantamount to having 2 babies. Both require intensive care and attention. Bad move.

Try to convince your husband that puppies are easier.

1. they mature faster
2. they don't require expensive dental work (only sometimes and that's a 
different thread )
3. they never ask to borrow the car
4. they never go out drinking with their friends 
5. they don't have expensive college bills
6. you can crate them and it's legal


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## briteday (Feb 10, 2007)

I always suggest to couples considering children to get a puppy first. It is such great training for kids.

If you are still friends after getting up every 2 hours at night, cleaning up poop/pee/vomit, tolerate the damage and destruction of personal belongings, can provide a reasonable schedule 365 days/year, and don't mind another body in bed with you...then you're good to go on being parents!


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## DogsforMe (Mar 11, 2007)

I used to tell young ppl if I had my life over I wouldn't have kids, I'd have puppies. Now I'm a grandma & that's a different story.
I'd get the pup 1st, we had dogs when the babies came home. You'll need to socialise the pup to everything & everyone that you think it will come into contact with when its under 14 weeks old. Especially kids & babies. & if you've thouroughly spoiled the dog, when you're pregnant you need to prepare the dog for the babies arrival. You can find out about that later.


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## Curbside Prophet (Apr 28, 2006)

That's a good point brite. And wasn't it not too long ago there was a study that kids who were raised around pets were less likely to have allergies?


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## jesirose (Mar 27, 2008)

Curbside Prophet said:


> That's a good point brite. And wasn't it not too long ago there was a study that kids who were raised around pets were less likely to have allergies?


That would be really interesting - unfortunately not the case with me, I developed my pet allergies around age 19 after being around cats for my whole life. It hasn't stopped me from outnumbering the humans in the house with soft furries, but mine are mostly controlled with Claritin. 

I have actually read in a magazine that 30% of people who own pets will develop an allergy to them over time. :/


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## Mr Pooch (Jan 28, 2008)

Renoman said:


> Personally, a puppy *instead* of kids is a much better choice.


Me and you are having words tommorow



briteday said:


> I always suggest to couples considering children to get a puppy first. It is such great training for kids.


Exelent advice,theres not a better preparation process for a baby than having a pup around.


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## mintesa (Mar 30, 2008)

Thanks for the great advices guys  I will have to let my husband read them when he wakes up.

As I said I personally go with the puppy too. I still never have gotten this I want a baby feeling, or whatever you call that. I know how it is to take care of babies. My mom had my sister when I was 19, so I was kind of babysitting all the time, she was easy baby though. My friend who I lived with during college time had 2 babies, I was in college, she was working all the time, so I was babysitting there again. So for me babies are really hard work, all that crying at night, and then feeding them in the morning before school, and dressing them to go to the nursery, takes pretty much up all your morning time. Sounds like a puppy already. But like renoman said, a puppy wont borrow my car when he grows up 

Well personally I would have the puppy, so I might go for that just first to baby train us, have to talk to my husband about it ofcourse. Ofcourse when we met he was looking for a girl that didnt want kids. Well look what happened to him now  So I think it is a good idea to get a puppy first and train my husband, he was the youngest in his family, and has no baby experience, unless his Siamesecat, she became 17 years old i consider her one of my best friends  .


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## Max'sHuman (Oct 6, 2007)

I agree with Briteday!

One thing I would add, since I don't know much about the breeds you are looking into is to make sure you get a breed that is known to be good around kids (in general) and then make sure you socialize the puppy extensively. This will prevent issues down the road. I think probably you have already thought of this, but just in case you hadn't....


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## Mac'N'Roe (Feb 15, 2008)

mintesa said:


> Hi
> I was not sure where to post this question
> Well, anyway we are thinking of getting a puppy, we are still reading a lot and searching breeds. My husband really wants a German Sheperd and nothing else. I like them too, and bichon frise, chihuahua or a Saint Bernard.
> 
> ...


Definitely have a puppy first. However, I noticed the breeds you listed were very different. (chihuahua or St. Bernard?). Those are very different types of dogs. You should really consider what kind of dog you want. German Shephards - I'm sure there is someone here who can tell you if German Shephards are typically good with children.


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## Ella'sMom (Jul 23, 2007)

My advice? Get a dog after you have kids....like when your last kid is 5. Once you have a baby it's harder to give a dog the attention it got before you had the baby. My kids are 10, 8 and 5. I can finally give my dog the attention she deserves. I am home during the day too. Just my personal opinion. Most people get puppies when they really are wanting to have a baby. Then they have a real baby and the puppy gets forgotten.


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## bella's Mum (Apr 1, 2008)

I would have the dog first, its what we did. now i have my dog i dont even want kids lol! Sure she pees on my floor but i know she isnt going to turn around to me and say she hates me LOL.
But- importantly like people have said it is a strengthening exercise and i would wait at least 3 years after getting a puppy to have a baby. Also the breed is important.
Toy/small breeds are particularly the best to have around children as they are fragile and dont take to well to rough and tumble. also you need to consider will you have the energy to exercise a gsd/ bearnard to the extent they need when the baby comes. both toy and working dogs therefore should be an after child is at school choice for dog. I think ideally a greayhound (belive it or not) might be a good choice. research them! and many helpless retired greyhounds need homes as they are in rescue 
Its all about breed.
really research and talk to people who have dogs, my boss had to give away his gsd last month because the hour worth of walks and all the play he had werent keeping him occupied and he couldnt sacrifice any more time as he was busy working or lookign after his seven your old son.
Just ask yourself could you honestly rehome sometone you had become so attatched to.
Research medium sized mediumly active dogs, or take this quiz
http://www3.dogbreedinfo.com/search.htm
good luck.. 
dogs are the biggest blessings i have ever known!


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## mintesa (Mar 30, 2008)

hi tanx for the replies. and tanx for that website.

I read more and more about dogs, am also reading a puppy training book right now and asked people who have dogs questions.

I have been thinking back and forth, I think maybe the best thing to do is wait until I am retired. Then I can really take good care of the dog that I will get, and will have all the time for him. Since right now we are both working. We could take in total 2 months off from work when getting a puppy. I could come home during lunch time when working. I would have time for taking the dog out for walks in the mornings and also after work and also at night. But it scares me thinking to leave him at home for a while when working during weekdays. So I guess maybe it is better to wait until one of us is retired, until then I can keep on reading dog books and get prepared. What do you think?


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## bella's Mum (Apr 1, 2008)

i work 42 hours a week and bella is fine, taking holiday off to be with a new puppy is a brilliant idea, i think if you can give the dog plent of mental stimulation and physical fun and hugs you have a brilliant home, i would research perhaps lower maitainence breeds and look into dog day care for times like weekends away when you need the care. i do split shifts thouh and belle is never alone for more than four hours (just in time for a potty bhreak) which is the other thing to considered, x


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## lovemygreys (Jan 20, 2007)

> I have been thinking back and forth, I think maybe the best thing to do is wait until I am retired. Then I can really take good care of the dog that I will get, and will have all the time for him. Since right now we are both working. We could take in total 2 months off from work when getting a puppy. I could come home during lunch time when working. I would have time for taking the dog out for walks in the mornings and also after work and also at night. But it scares me thinking to leave him at home for a while when working during weekdays. So I guess maybe it is better to wait until one of us is retired, until then I can keep on reading dog books and get prepared. What do you think?


I think that most people work outside the home and still manage to have happy pups. It's really about finding the right breed (not just based on looks) and being committed to meeting that dog's exercise requirements daily.

Why not adopt an older dog, rather than get a puppy? Temperaments of adult dogs are much easier to assess making them more predictable/easier to match dog needs with owner needs.


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## poodleholic (Mar 15, 2007)

mintesa said:


> hi tanx for the replies. and tanx for that website.
> 
> I read more and more about dogs, am also reading a puppy training book right now and asked people who have dogs questions.
> 
> I have been thinking back and forth, I think maybe the best thing to do is wait until I am retired. Then I can really take good care of the dog that I will get, and will have all the time for him. Since right now we are both working. We could take in total 2 months off from work when getting a puppy. I could come home during lunch time when working. I would have time for taking the dog out for walks in the mornings and also after work and also at night. But it scares me thinking to leave him at home for a while when working during weekdays. So I guess maybe it is better to wait until one of us is retired, until then I can keep on reading dog books and get prepared. What do you think?



I could be wrong, but it seems that, maybe, you're not really all that into getting a puppy at this time in your life. They DO take a lot of time, effort, energy, patience, and commitment, especially those first two years. However, if you're maybe feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that's required (through all the reading/research you've been doing), don't let that discourage you. Those of us who work all find ways to manage things so that the puppy is properly cared for, and everyone is happy. I was a single parent for a number of years with two daughters, two dogs, and 5 cats.


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## mintesa (Mar 30, 2008)

lovemygreys said:


> I think that most people work outside the home and still manage to have happy pups.
> 
> Why not adopt an older dog, rather than get a puppy? Temperaments of adult dogs are much easier to assess making them more predictable/easier to match dog needs with owner needs.


Well the good thing is that I can leave and come to work when I want, as long as I work my 40 hrs a week. And I am a 7 minutes drive from work. 

I was thinking of adopting an older dog too, but what if the previous owner did something wrong in training or something. But I guess if I would adopt an older dog, I can always take him home first for a trial some days, and see if we click together.



poodleholic said:


> I was a single parent for a number of years with two daughters, two dogs, and 5 cats.


amazing 

I know I will have time for my dog, since work is only 7 minutes drive away and I can come and go from work as I please as long as I finish 40 hrs a week. Weekends are also good, my husband is a home boy and just stays home all weekends or goes walking outside or hiking on nearby mountains. I´m aways on saturday and sundays 2 hrs max. Then I am just home too. 
But I guess you are right I am overwhelmed of everything I am reading, and I just want to do everything right. I am paranoid not to be a good dog owner and break the dogs heart. Also paranoid if I am not that much at home during weekends...


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## poodleholic (Mar 15, 2007)

> But I guess you are right I am overwhelmed of everything I am reading, and I just want to do everything right. I am paranoid not to be a good dog owner and break the dogs heart. Also paranoid if I am not that much at home during weekends...


That's what I suspected! Lordy, girl, if I had even a clue about what parenthood actually entailed, I would never have had children! LOL But, I did, I survived, even enjoyed them a lot, they turned out great, and I love 'em to death, my grandkids, too, and now I'm home alone with my dogs and cats! 

Look, I'm single, live alone, own my home. LOTS to do maintainence wise with the yard and inside. There's always something! Plus, I groom the dogs - 2 Standard Poodles and 1 Shih Tzu. I foster, too, work full time, and Maddy and I perform canine freestyle dance for the kids in shelter, and patients at an adult daycare center. I even have a boyfriend! LOL 

You can do this.


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## bella's Mum (Apr 1, 2008)

any news on what youve decided to do?>


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## mintesa (Mar 30, 2008)

well I think I will get a puppy first 
i am thinking labrador or st. bernard, i always end up with these two after reading for breeds. Not sure about which breed yet. and we will get a kitty with the puppy. my husbands cat died last year with the age of 17, and she became my bestfriend after being with her in her last 5 years, so we have always been 100% sure to get another kitty. Since we get a kitty it is best to get a puppy too i guess, so that they will know each other from childhood. Since we are looking for a new place to buy ( have been living in the first floor of my husbands parents and saving up for our own place ), we havent gotten a kitty or dog yet. So I cant wait to move i guess  and get my puppy and kitty


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## Annamarie (Oct 14, 2007)

I would actually recommend getting an adult dog first and then maybe a year later after the dog is trained have your baby. We got a min pin who has tons of issues not planning or thinking ahead to having children (we were complete idiots, we just fell in love with the mean puppy lol...) and he'll be 2 when the baby arrives. Knowing that he's not great with other peoples' children, even though he's improved a lot, and not knowing how he'll do with OUR child is a cause for concern. If we had gotten an older dog that was already mostly trained and known to be good around children it would be a lot less worry.


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